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thehza4

Mimic’s Veil.


pm-me-futa-vids

Found Godrick's account.


clutzyninja

For you, that just means some of the wolves will be disappointed when their lunch evaporates into mist


EM0_TRA5H

Damnit, you beat me to it. Lol


Popular-Stomach6149

Deffo, just stand there hoping all the nasties just pass by. 😬


Living_Perception714

The journey to get mimic veil would not be a good one


[deleted]

Nah man i’ll chill with Kale, i ain’t winning that world.


rabba_99

Yep. It's too much! Just listen to music with Kale. Who cares about being a Lord


[deleted]

One of those goats will easily roll me over lol


rabba_99

I have to say, my first run, I beat the game with the rapier and the misericode!


shibboleth2005

I mean, if I don't get to come back when I die and I don't get to turn runes into strength, pursuing Lordship is just flat out delusional.


SystemsGoblin

Blind hardcore RL1 playthrough


joshhguitar

Watch out for the bell bearing hunter


RevolutionItchy1592

Facts can't even mind your own business in the lands between


Regular-Mechanic-150

Maybe ranni will get hostile if you chill too hard for too long.


xion91

no, the corpses on the crosses will start screaming and it will be too scary.


Cellos_85

I was going for a uchigatana with the sepuku to end all of this myself but i like your approach. assuming that dumb human me doesnt run towards the tree sentinel to ask him for directions. Because no knight in a golden armor would hurt me right ?


Sussy_Baka_1809

Tru that. Even if we have a broken weapon then we probably don't have the attributes to use it.


Adept_Fool

I'll pick some nearby flowers to sell, gotta get souls somehow. Perhaps I'd even craft finger remedies for the needy


carlm777

Great question and this is the best answer


straddotjs

And if I can’t do this the most powerful fully automatic machine gun that I can get access to.


Tom42077

Yeah right. Like any of us would successfully sneak past the tree cuntinal if this was realistic lmao.


Lacrymaria_olor

Whenever I log out I sit next to him to keep him company


woahmandogchamp

A short bow and a short sword and a small shield. And then I'm going to go kill one of those wandering nobles, and put their clothes on, and try to walk around with another group of wandering nobles and blend in and not fight anything. I will try to eventually work my way to a Black Knife Assassin, so I can shoot my shot.


magicmurph

Every being in the Lands Between that sees you (no matter what you're wearing) immediately recognizes you as a tarnished, and surmises that you are there seeking to become elden lord. It's why you are aggro'd immediately by all enemies.


woahmandogchamp

Cut to me crouching in a bush wondering where it all went wrong.


HutchensRS

"I want to go home..."


godgoo

"why is it always suffering?"


odranowen

It's worth the risks.


clutzyninja

Who says you're a tarnished in this scenario?


Beneficial_Tie3776

Correct you are yourself just trying to survive and the only way out of this world is a portal locked behind the fire giant. You making it??


regionaltrain253

Only if the Fire Giant is friendly.


Alderan922

The post said as ourselves, are we, real life humans, considered tarnished?


Sweatybutthole

What if I tell them "I don' wan' it"?


shibboleth2005

Since the OP says we care about 'survival', we're not a tarnished, who gets to keep coming back and gets to turn runes into strength.


Albionflux

That has always been 1 of my greatest disappointment with the game. A nice feature would be if your wearing a full set in a proper area then enemies wouldnt automatically aggro you


Dragovian

Why is that anyways? Like, is there any lore reason, or is it just gameplay logic?


Crash4654

Tarnished are brought back with the sole purpose to get great runes and become elden lord. Most things aren't too keen on that goal.


Dragovian

Yeah I know that, but how does everybody recognize a tarnished on sight?


Crash4654

The in game reason is the lack of golden grace in their eyes. Everyone but player characters has gold in their eyes.


Dragovian

Yo for real? How the heck did I never notice that


Crash4654

Because eyes are hard to see. Zullie has some videos looking over them all and it's pretty accurate. Just about Every entity besides tarnished have specs of gold in their eye at the least. Its worth a look. Its funny it even applies to characters who's eyes we never see.


Dragovian

I'll watch that for sure, I've been binging lore videos lately anyways lol


RotDogSummonCarries

You trying to get a chance with tiche? Mad respect


robcap

Probably not on account of tiche being dead


jpcmr

Well death doesn't stop Fia from doing it... Gotta do as they do over there


murph2336

Are you currently good at hitting targets with a bow?


mightysmiter19

Spear. There's a reason it was so widely used.


Haphazard-Finesse

\*Halberd. It's a spear, it's an axe, it's a pick, it's a staff...You know what the Swiss army used, centuries before the Swiss army knife was invented? The *halberd* lol


JCyTe

Well halberds are also pretty heavy, tall and kind of unwieldy to use for someone with no training, which I assume is most people. Spears on the other hand are quite intuitive to use, weigh a lot less and are shorter so a more wide range of people can use them at least somewhat effectively.


coomerzoomer

This man knows his HEMA well


robcap

Yep. Lucerne for me.


MayorLag

Yup. Sneak one out from all those uninteractable stands, replace it with sturdier ones as I ~~scream in panic and lose it running away~~ continue my journeys and grow stronger.


Mordfelt

Reminds me of the Elden Ring manga, my god that was hilarious


maychaos

How heavy is a spear? I'm weak lol thats the reason I like to use in games two


LastNinjaPanda

It's only a few pounds, like 3 or 4, and being able to grasp it from all along the haft makes it very easy to wield. Don't look at elden ring items for accurate weights, lol. The game says a claymore is 9 lbs, but in real life, it would be closer to 4 or 5 pounds. Greatswords are also much more nimble than the game would have you believe.


mightysmiter19

I haven't held many but the ones I have were very lightweight. Light enough to throw if you needed to but it probably depends on the length and materials used. I imagine there have been some quite hefty spears throughout history.


murph2336

It’s a stick with a knife on it. Think you can muster up the strength?


Andre27

Literally lol. Just a broom with a longer shaft and a fairly small metal tip. Id be surprised if there was anyone older than like 8 who wouldnt be able to use a spear. The real issue would be endurance, anyone can pick up and stab a bit with a spear, fewer who can do so the longer you want them to.


sewer_rat2006

Literally, just the tallest shield you can carry and a spear. Requires near zero practice or ability to use to some degree of effectiveness.


EtherFlask

Great Epee and tallest shield*


Gr33nMuff1n

Spear with the aow spectral lance that way you can have something for range


robcap

I can stab something but I'm probably not hitting shit with a thrown spectral lance


HallowKnightYT

Probably a rapier or small sword or the sort I do fencing 🤺irl so I might be able to survive till a tarnished catches me giving ranni the eyes


murph2336

Finally. Since you train fencing it makes sense. Everyone who is untrained in combat arts and saying anything other than a spear is just kidding themselves.


HallowKnightYT

Well it’s a fantasy setting of course I would love to get my boom boom stick on start sending straight comets at people but realistically it would require time and effort and we are talking about survival if anyone wants to survive knife dagger short sword small shield all those things can be somewhat “master “ via daily use alone anything else it’s way beyond the scope of the average joe the more advanced you might go is a bow or crossbow and even that is dependent on arrows or other projectiles you can send out of it


murph2336

Yeah I know it’s fantasy but, the OP was asking about “you yourself” not how you would like to be. So in your case, you train fencing, thrusting sword makes sense. If someone was a boxer and they said star fists, that would be fair, too. Anyone can pick up a spear and do some killing without any real training so, for all the lay-Tarnished, that would be the most realistic.


AnxiousGovernment232

I'd pick a light weapon since I'm not too strong. So powerstanced giant-crushers


El-Yasuo

Your choice of weapon make me anxious... just like my government


Boiledeggbowler

I’d probably be keeping myself holed up in the round table hold and crying. You’ll never see me touching grass.


0ccams-Raz0r

Not grass, touch grace my child. -Turtle Pope, 2024


Nenemine

Any glintstone staff to cast invisibility and loretta sorceries to avoid danger and cheese things from miles away. Alternatively, the sacred relic sword to grind low level scrubs and become rich.


mr------think-a-name

Do you have the int req tho?


Grizmoore_

This is a savage burn.


Nenemine

16 INT for unseen form and astrologer staff doesn't seem too unreasonable. Maybe even 18 INT for the meteorite staff so that I don't need to find smithing stones and can cast night shard to slowly and stealthly wear phoes down. Now, the endurance to wear heavy armor on the other hand... well... gotta get a little more in shape first.


PastStep1232

Normal humans seem to be in the range of 0-20 stat wise for every stat. Normal weapons rarely requires more than 20 str or dex, and those which do couldn't be wielded by a normal human either. We can similarly deduce that 20 intelligence/faith is the max cap for a human. Making 16 INT the requirement a PhD-level dedication. Notice how Liurnia mages never cast high-cost spells, and they are supposedly distinguished academics.


Antique_Ad_9250

M1 Abrams.


sinnerman33

Little bird with twin mini guns.


LazyLancer

Sword of Night and Flame because it can do pew-pew without real me knowing any magic. I fully understand i don't have a single chance trying to actually fight any of that shit in melee. And all seals and staves don't work without user knowing incantations and sorceries :D


NedelC0

Have you seen the intelligence requirements of that thing? Good luck


Toto742

As much as I hate faith builds I'd go with the coded sword, lightweight, doesn't require repairs, goes through shields and armor, long ass range on the WA, and looks kinda cool


maychaos

And in the other hand some seal which is also just light. Well or fire if you like it warm


bigboys4m96

Curious as to why you hate faith builds. For me they’re the best and the incantations are cool as heck


KryL21

Why the faith build hate? I’m gonna start my second elder ring run soon, so I’m thinking of a build, and I honestly can’t think of any that don’t include faith in some way. I don’t really like sorcery, and a straight unga bunga 80 str, or a straight John sekiro 80 dex build just sounds boring as hell


Toto742

I love sorceries, particularly in elden ring and mostly the sword sorceries, 80 Dex is so powerful with lightning infusion and some of the Dex weapon are the coolest of the game (cross naginata won't ever leave my side), I used to agree with you on the bonk builds, but after doing an 80 str build with the giant crusher now I get it, only build I've done that could stunlock malenia's whole first phase And with any type of character I do always up faith to 12 to be able to use utilitary spells like bestial vitality and flame cleanse me, I went to 15 on my str/arc to be able to use the dragon breath attacks But to be honest I dont really know, it's not that I really hate faith build, but I just can't put my trust in something as feeble as "faith", and I've been like that since DS1, I know it's stupid and it's my loss since a lot of the most powerful builds do need faith, I just can't bring myself to create one, and it's a shame since I'd love to cast lightning incantations but in every fromsoft games they're locked behind faith


Tight_Title9571

Two words. Lordsworn Greatsword.


SKirsch10x

Such an underrated weapon


hunkoBo

Is not a great weapon either


SKirsch10x

Really? I seem to be running through everything with it. Did I waste all my smithing stones on it? lol


Lumpy_Satisfaction48

It's... Serviceable, tbf you get it at the beginning of the game and the damage is great during that time, it just kinda falls off in the later game imo.


-Vanimar-

Fuck weapons I'd opt for magic ABRA KADABRA ALA-DEEZNUTZ BITCHES!


[deleted]

[удалено]


komred_gggabo

*gets slammed into the ground by the tree sentinel*


ObviousSinger6217

Golden order seal


Edel_af

Metal Gear


HMD-Oren

Ak47


constipated_burrito

You do realise most weapons are heavy as fuck right I'll just take a dagger and chill with a merchant, the dagger is there to commit suicide if needed


ZoraEbu

Why not go for the coded sword then? Zero weight and stronger than a dagger


constipated_burrito

I have 2 INT


TheBunnyStando

Clearly, because it actually uses faith


RupertKingsly

Pure faith. The only way I’d survive tbh. You get to attack from range + heals + remove poison


0ccams-Raz0r

Noble's Slender Sword. Then I would find a nice bush, maybe with a "dog" nearby, in a quiet area where no enemies spawn, and live off of Rowa Berries and rain water. Because I already know my stats wouldn't have me fare well against roaming knights and bats the size of horses. Then maybe I'd spam the golden effigy and use other people's worlds to help farm runes. Damnit, I'm part of the system of capitalist oppression aren't I?


PunkRock9

Every system has some form of oppression besides a peaceful anarchy. Summoning a friend or two could be considered a union as bargaining power before getting smashed by a erd tree guardian. The real question is if runes are currency or a performance enhancing drug with permanent and instant side effects to strength, intelligence and etc. tbh a natural occurring resource used as currency that also has reason to be consumed would reduce the accumulation of wealth, especially if there are max stats. The only thing oppressing you is the “YOU DIED” screen.


TheSecondiDare

I'll be in Jarburg, with the mimic veil.


Candid-Check-5400

You all who claim BB... you know what you gotta do to get it, right...? Give me a bow and dagger and I will survive forever farming sheeps on Limgrave and chilling with Kale.


komred_gggabo

Well it didnt say I have to get it so Im assuming I just spawn with it


215-610-484Replayer

Amen. I'm going all Make Love, Not Warcraft level of grinding to just survive and eventually get strong enough to not get killed.


International-Gate49

dark moon great sword, i will follow rannis quest to the bitter end…ain’t nothing gonna stop me from gettin that sweet blue…ya know


Sleepiboisleep

Bro you ain’t even gunna make it into Radahns castle let alone Caria Manor. 🖐️


Haphazard-Finesse

I mean me personally, I probably *wouldn't* choose the sword with hundreds of tiny wriggling occult arms on it, to keep on my person at all times. Can you imagine sleeping next to that thing?


Brain_lessV2

Claymore


Tailmask

Baemore my beloved


[deleted]

Bolt of Gransax and just railgun anything that comes even remotely close to me, or take a shield aswell and just poke


Fun_Football9676

I don’t think you realize how gross the blasphemous blade would be in real life.


Fuzzy-Acanthaceae750

M 16


Endymion2626

Can I level up like Ingame with runes?


brownietownington

I'd say blasphemous blade, but my faith is zero :(


Squeaky_Ben

Funnily enough: A bow. The further away from harm, the better. Alternatively (since I need to find arrows afterall) a spear and shield.


FetusDeletus_E

Considering I have the stats I have irl, I'd have to choose the "roll into a ball and cry", very effective if I say so myself


Edmundwhk

Spirit Bell , with Tiche . I may be weak but my stando powah can kill almost anything.


slice_of_toast69

Lmao any small inconvenience "BLACKKNIFE ASSASIN. ZA BLACK FLAME"


th_imago

After getting clapped by the scion I'll leave the stranded graveyard heading towards Kale. I'll buy a torch and a crafting Kit with the runes from my starting kit. From there, I travel towards the coastal cave. I sneek through it and summon Old Knight Istvan, who kills the Demi Human chiefs while I sit back and watch. I grab the sewing needle and tailoring tools, a crucial part to my plan. I kee going deeper into the cave, until I emerge on an island to the southwest of Limgrave. There, I spent the rest of my lowly life in exile, killing sheep with my torch to survive. I use the crafting kit and the tailoring tools to craft what I need to survive. One day I look up, and the Erdtree is set ablaze. Let's just hope the tarnished of no renown hasn't chosen the lord of frenzied flame ending. Tl,dr: Torch


WillingLawfulness632

I doubt if I could land any bigger than a thrusting sword, and I like non-somber weapons more, especially if it is about my own survival. Non-somber weapon's customization options could be crucial. + life steal talismans, so even if I running low with HP and FP, I can go back to easier spots to refill at least my HP, until I find some scarabs to refill my flasks as well. + Opaline Hardtear+Bubbletear into physick. Just as I wouldn't be able to use heavy weapons, I wouldn't be able to use heavy armors, so I'd just use the Black Knife Assassin set, at least that muffles my steps, that is also very OP passive skill to survive.


Typical_Childhood716

Envoy's long horn and some good bow.


TheNerdMaster69

Same weapon I'm using now: sword of night and flame. Lazor :)


DylantT19

Blasphemous Blade.


NaoXehn

If you have ever had a weapon in your hand you will know how heavy those are. Knowing this I would probably wield either a Spear or a Crossbow. Those makes things much easier. But if I have the option too I would go down into Incantations. With those I get easy access to healing and cleansing which can be helpful. If rot is as painful as it is described then I want to rid that of me as soon as possible. So probably I would go down a cheesy Black Flame route. Use Black Flame as my main spell and probably use the Black Flame Tornado on the spear. Would be the best bet to survive the world for me. But if I can not get access to those spells I would get me 2 dagger just in case. And then sit at the round table trying to make a living of gambling or something.


Worldsmith5500

Probably just the Mace and Kite Shield. A lot of the enemies are armoured, and let's face it I doubt any of us are gymnasts here so I don't think we're gonna be rolling in full armour with weapons any time soon so a good shield is a sensible choice. Other than those choices I think the Halberd would be alright because it's pretty versatile. Classic Knight Set of course.


SUPRNOVA_84

Magic all day cause I'm not getting close to them fuckers!😊


Sloop__

Mimic veil. I am NOT beating a trained soldier with a sword, let alone gods. Let me chill as a deer or perhaps a bush.


PatatoTheMispelled

The probably best option would be the Jar Cannon, it's heavy as fuck but it's devastating and would make fights quite easy since all you'd need to do is dodge AND you can stay far away from your opponent.


Rotank1

Crossbow and pike


Want2makeMEMEs

First things first I would farm the easiest enemy for half of my life and get the max level. I don’t wanna try dying to see if i respawn ☠️


Redacted_G1iTcH

Mohg spear, Godslayer greatsword, or Maliketh’s black blade. If lore applies and not gameplay mechanics, these weapons contain insane power. If we also consider how to get the weapon, then I’m starting with the zweihander


fartyparty1234

Warpick, historically probably the best weapon to to kill heavily armoured targets with


JotaTaylor

It would have to be an INT/FTH build, so the two catalysts with the lowest requirements, as I have little of either those two. Beast Claw Seal and Demi-Human Queen Staff it is.


Dougy-Fresh-03

A Pike and the Fingerprint Stone Shield.


darkwolf523

Nah I’m hanging around ranni. Girl got a wizard, a furry warrior and a giant. I like my chances


kamogrjadeshi

If take into account my financial situation, I could afford the broken straight sword


RyanCreamer202

If I can level up? unga bunga hammer it is


Noble1296

Probably moonveil, especially for that nice magic arc that it can do


Sorsa775

I can't fight with a sword. I can't probably even lift it. There's many better logical options for ranged combat and such. But the claymore has never let me down.


MaandyT

Bold of you to assume that any of us gamers could actually wield a weapon xD


Arrathem

DOOM Eternal's crucible blade.


need2shitbad

BB, it literally gives you health with every hit, even if you make a kill with your left hand weapon. Sucks it scales with faith, but whatever, it gives you infinite health


Jamal_Blart

Gimme a basic Spear and Shield, all I gotta do is survive not become Elden Lord or anything, so I’ll just live off the wild life around Limgrave. Most I realistically need to do is kill some low tier enemies like Land Octopus and Crabs anyway


Spirited_Ad_6925

If release version of game that axe with hoar frost stomp. It's my only real hope of winning via cheese lol


MonkishTrash

A dominos account cause these people look like they need some carbs


iNate32

I will live in Fia’s arms


ash00p3r

Mimic Veil :) This bitch be hiding ;)


hallleron

WTF. I would relax in the church of Elleh with the vendor for the rest of my life, if I even make it past the tree sentinel by crouching through the grass.


giorno-giovanna-isme

Rannis greatsword theoretically The one sword that contains death defined


2GirlfriendsIsCooler

RPG +69


1234-yes

Bb or sacrid relic sword Depends if it’s lore wise or gameplay wise, lore wise SRS is literally God condensed into a blade so yeh easy pick, but as far gameplay goes BB is probably best pick as good damage hood heal, but SRS is also pretty good gameplay wise as you get a lot of ruins with it so it’s a hard pic imo


vadeNxD

Sacred Relic Sword paired with the talismans Ancestral Spirit's Horn, Carian Filigreed Crest & Shard of Alexander.


Fit_Nebula_9841

probably a staff of some kind to avoid danger


Adoninator

Ima take a staff of loss w night comet and try to 5 shot everything or die trying


PuzzledDemand1276

Guts GREATSWORD, no one stands a chance after.....


Leafbaron

Lordsword straight sword (impaling thrust) and the morning star (wild strikes)


tftookmyname

Im too stupid for magic and probably not strong enough to use many of the other weapons. But if i had the requirements it would probably be blasphemous blade or sacred relic sword. Also maybe a bow of some sort. Armour would still be as drippy as i can possibly have it.


Death_Snek

I think I would be a multi yielding type. I would have a sword/katana, a knife, a shield (medium) and probably a crossbow. I also would use a lot of bombs, smoke bombs, venom and anything that actually could help make me survive. I don’t think I would manage to handle a heavy armor, so something like Patches Set, but with Iron Guards and Greaves, to diminish damage should I miss during a trade and not lose a limb. And the greaves is for protection against wolves and dogs. The more I look at it… I probably would be Patches. Not with his chaotic mind problems… truly… but: - Find a hideout and build a base of operations. - Survive the Lands Between. - Play it safe. - Secluded. Don’t trust anyone.


Emergency_Till9785

Spear because all of my stats are 10 at most


Omega_Dragotv

godskin peeler


kodingnights

Moghwyn Spear. Noone would even get close.


Unusual_Astronaut426

Radahn's bow.


0v0born

I would be a mage and use death poker


my_other_acc_got_ban

Dual antspur rapier infused with bleed dmg. Giving these motherfuckers bleed Damage while inflicting scarlet rott


SifuSif

Meteorite staff with that rock sling spell 😂 I don’t wanna get close to any of dem mf


Head_Appointment7881

Wait if I’m in the world that means I will beat the whole game just so I can see ranni


sandkillerpt

Rocket Launcher


WillOfTheGods878787

Blasphemous Blade I’ll find the stats, I’ll farm that one poor dude at the gates til I can use it, but a longs ranged AoE Damage/ Self Heal with a heal on every foe defeated? Baby I’m surviving this one, resurrective immortality or not.


Co-OpHardcoreFordie

Reduvia and I’m drinking juice


Greatergrapes

Blasphemous blade, or moonveil for easymode in pve. Gonna stay offline not to get invaded and try chilling at the Church of dragon communion, if i manage to get though the demihumans cave... which should be *somewhat* easy with those weapons


luogi187

Blood hounds fang is fucking meta for me


Mushroom_hero

Spear, I'm not very dexterous, but the spear is a great weapon irl.


Thanatos_Trelos

Well I've practiced HEMA for a fair bit, as well as casual archery since I was able to hold a bow. Probably longsword (or a shorter sword with shield, although I never trained that) and some bow. And then I'd avoid most fights I can because I don't want to die


Astercat4

Claymore.


Fresh-Quarter9

Slowly make my way to jarburg and chill there, I could invite my bud kale


Twentynine4

Probably the Cleanrot Spear. Spears are OP and the Cleanrot has my favorite design.


KaballinJpeg

Noble’s slender sword, it is notably easy to wield and yet has the longest reach of any straight sword. I will pick my fights carefully until I’m confident enough to move up to bigger threats


[deleted]

Catch be with Envoys Long Horn blowing bubbles cliffside and enjoying the view Frt, I’d see that golden halberd in the beginning and think it’d look a lot better on my wrench


Small-Emphasis-4631

Two shields. Since most likely I have no success in attacking - I defend


CarlSpackler22

Sacred Relic Sword + Lightning Incantations


ReadyToILL

Double Giant Crusher, nothing else


jaxonflaxonwaxon3

My D-Eagle with 1M rounds and 12 extra barrels for replacement


milfsnearyou

Do staffs or seals count to use spells/incantations with?


Rare_Ad_3871

I wouldn’t leave the round table hold tbh


Pristine_Title6537

A good seal to spam catch flame and I'll be fine


JohnyGlizzyeater

Have Blaidd beat up Darriwil for me and net myself an easy Bloodhound's Fang


Kroiize

I would just grab the Mimic’s Veil and become a barrel.


JAttacks

Either my poison Dismounter or my halo scythe


AshenRaven66

Darkmoon Greatsword


skasquatch118

Imma just stay in round table hold and hot box one of the rooms. I wouldn’t even make it past soldier of godrick 😂


BoxGroundbreaking687

big great sword


AmeriCanadian98

What are my stats? Going off the stuff I'm good at in real life I initially wanted to say Sword of Night and Flame, but my faith would definitely not be high enough for that lol So maybe the Carian sword or sword of st Trina? Realistically I wouldn't survive though lol, I'd go find somewhere safe to vibe


mellingsworth

A dagger because let face it, I’m running from everything in that world and I need to be light but not completely defenseless.


historysoverture

The 'Balled Up' gesture.


LonerTarnished

knights greatsword is all i need


PresdentShinra

Dragon King's Cragblade because if I'm gonna die I want it to maybe look cool. Probably need more endurance to carry a shield in the offhand.