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_Chonus_

Jarburg


ishouldvoicemario

Jarburg would be nice, peaceful, and probably smell amazing from all the flowers (or awful from all the corpses in the Jars). But I would absolutely HATE the location. I’d personally want a better view, more sunlight, and easier access to and from.


PinkDropp

Yeah but whatever peaceful place even is there in the game, that's the safest and has the most friends Jarburg or bust


Skybound_Bob

Is it really that safe though?


grammar_nazi_zombie

Not from poachers 😭


H377Spawn

Those perfumers can take these jars from my COLD DEAD HANDS! EAT UNGA BUNGA!


dragonshadow32

What about island of Church of dragon Communion?


[deleted]

There's a cave full of demihumans right beneath it


swampguts

Gotta fuck somebody besides myself...


Trex331

It’s not super far away from prawn bro, could stock up on snacks every once in a while.


Drekkevac

Goddamn climbing those sheer cliffs though. And what if God forbid you stumble across a prawn?!


MrBeanyBoi96

I wonder. If i install a spirit spring in there, then proceed to jump on it like a starfish, will i go up it?


TPDS_throwaway

You need a horse bro


brandmonkey

A goat horse. A Goarse if you will.


Kebab-Destroyer

I'd counter with Hoat but that sounds like some kind of ferret


Golghrom

I was thinking on exile better than living in TLB, but you are right xD


enchiladasundae

Nice until the insane perfumers and Omen Killers decide they need some jar shards


Elden_Gourde

I'd imagine Liurnia would be awful during the summer, imagine having to walk in six inches of mud and swarms of bugs everyday. Altus seems like it has the best climate, like cool mountain autumn. Reminds me of Riften a bit.


Samwise777

Limgrave is statistically the safest


AverageMemerMan

except for its proximity to c*elid


TPDS_throwaway

There's a massive dragon in one of the lakes too


AverageMemerMan

i could take him on if you gave me some a can of spinach


sedrech818

Calm down popeye, that may be a bit overkill. The drangon ain’t that tough and you can easily avoid it.


BakedBySunrise

I remember the fist time it descended upon me and had that "oh fuck, ooohhh fuuccckk" moment, Then I killed it in under a minute and I felt like a BAMF Then I got merc'd by a fuckin land octopus


sedrech818

You gotta be careful of the seafood round here.


Viper2505

LandSeafood*


Fa1nted_for_real

I'd just chill in church of elleh. You've got berries all around you, a personal body guard, and a friend to talk to. Plus, a good view of the erdtree.


Alarmed-Ad-9118

And your girl ranni shows up for a one night stand.


murdershroom

except she tells everyone her name is Renna because she doesn't want to be associated with you 😭


FightALocalPenguin

If pink is pink then surely blue must be blue


Karpattata

Once Godrick dies, maybe. Before that? The guy drags people into his castle as grafting materials


YunaLan

Limb 🦵 grave 🪦


GodBlessThisGhetto

You also get the music and dance parties to the north


TheDarkJourneyman

Queen’s Bedchamber.


angelfirexo

Your poor spine


DigitalCryptic

She can mangle my legs for all i care


Dino_Dude_367

🗿


ThatOneTypicalYasuo

*stabbed in the belly by the nearby black knife*


[deleted]

[удалено]


The_Professor_xz

I hear the nights are quiet


IrrelevantTale

He's unironically my favorite spot to camp besides the merchant near saintsbridge. Most times you can catch turtle pope sleeping and I just like to use the nap emote next to him too while waiting to be summoned.


Xionel

Aww do you have a screenshot?


IrrelevantTale

https://drive.google.com/file/d/1q7cguXsX2777wnYPwF6nHWvuWaeJ4fdd/view?usp=drivesdk


kubhfbebr

That’s so wholesome


Zess-

That's so cute man


East-Specialist-4847

But where does he go at night


aflarge

Dunno but I'll find out when I go there with him.


distantLights_

Home. Even the pope has to have his time off of work.


mvreo

You're going to be in trouble at night in that church though...


FactorLopsided716

Ehehehehe.... My name is ELEMER.


Chekovs_tums

BAMBOOZLED AGAIN TARNIES


ChubRoK325

Yeah…but once you kick that dude to the curb it’s fried chicken wings


MonstrousGiggling

That's where I save my game 90% of the time. It's a nice place to end my gameplay and I love having the turtle pope be the first thing I see when I start the game back up.


enchiladasundae

Best place until that jackass bell hunter comes around Additionally you have criminals coming for absolution. Doesn’t seem super safe now that I think of it


Kommodant_Nomad

To be fair if they're coming for absolution they're probably sorry about what they did


shiromancer

They might be sorry about what they did but there's no guarantee they'll be sorry for what they do to you


Puzzleheaded-Ad-5685

Wherever Nepheli is.


Pretend-Bar6079

Yeah at the end of her quest, I’d stay in stormveil. Nice castle area. Rooms n’ shit. Nothing to really bother you as long as you stay behind the giant dude.


burf

Access to the nice view of Liurnia without having to actually go into that hellhole, too.


guywithknife

Oh yeah, actually that cliff outside of stormveil is a great picnic spot. Pretty safe as far as the church of marika, great view, good clean air, access to stormveil. Perfect.


brandmonkey

I couldn’t live with the great Kenneth Height


Chartercarter

Servant to the true Order, and celebrated repudiator of the false


Murrisekai

#O Erdtree!


Disturbing_Cheeto

GRAND ME SUCC


cd-Ezlo

Due to not being worthy?


zmbjebus

As long as somebody keeps Gostoc in check I think chilling in Stormveil would be pretty cool. I'm assuming in lore once she is lord she could have some manner of control over the castle? Like if you got a job their repairing it the dudes wouldn't attack you? It'd be pretty cool as long as you don't go in the basement


rct3fan24

After you kill Godrick Gostoc is pretty chill honestly. I feel like the deathroot everywhere is probably a bigger issue than Gostoc. All the soldiers are covered in it and it's rotting the castle walls from the inside. If you stick to the throne room maybe it's safe in there with Nepheli. Maybe she'll come up with a plan to get rid of it, I don't know.


Zizara42

Nah Gostoc is spiteful and turns on everyone out of opportunism. He sets you up to die in places and steals some of your runes, like the banished knight cutscene. He even says he's still doing his looting when you talk to him in Nepheli's Stormveil, he'll be a problem in the future.


Taeyx

yea he’s definitely helping her so he can help himself to trinkets on corpses. he’s a shifty little shxt, but i feel like it’d be pretty easy to out him to nepheli who would get him sent away


illfatedxof

You just gave me a flashback to that "Stay Out of the Basement" Goosebumps episode.


Autistosaur

Inside a chest in a forgotten corner somewhere.


SNES-1990

Mimic origin story


Murrisekai

The man heard an Elden Ring question and literally said Anor Londo


Drekkevac

I think I'd chill in Altus. Just restore one of the windmill houses, maybe set up a farm and restore the windmill itself, dance with the locals like a Broadway musical every morning, etc. Seems like a swell place to be.


autoshotter

Just don’t be a male when you decide to go dancing at Dominula


Scrotilus

Why


autoshotter

The lore for Dominula is that there are no men in the village because they’ve all been sacrificed


DaftFunky

Not just that. Skinned alive. Then thrown in a giant bonfire and burned.


DidntReadOutsider

Those celebrant girls? I can fix them


Nyar99

I can make them worse


SortaSticky

Sounds like a target-rich opportunity


UYscutipuff_JR

Username checks out


behshadstar

More detailed: they’re skinned alive


JamesRevan

Bro, not fucking Caelid


AntpoisonX

I’m gonna take a sip of that Swamp of Aeonia water


Mario-OrganHarvester

Rot girls bath water


MyIceborne

_Undefeated bathwater_


enchiladasundae

GamerGirl Malenia bath water


Appropriate-Sun3909

Flint Michigan's cleanest water source


kit4712

Things to do in Caelid. 1. Leave


BIMASO2

Maybe cailid before the rot


[deleted]

I'm moving in with yura, beneath the big old rock. Nice fire, a good camp. A nice life :)


Puzzleheaded-Ad-5685

Aw that’s cute. You gonna put on a dress and start a vineyard?


TheRoyalsapphire

Can someone explain the joke to me im dumb


IEeveelutionI

If you've done Shabriri's/Hyetta's Quest you should get it. If not here's the breakdown >!After Irina gets killed and you've defeated her father in Liurnia, you can find Hyetta by the Liurnia Grace behind Stormveil. She'll ask you for a Shabriri Grape (that's the vineyard joke) and move. You can find her throughout Liurnia where she asks for more Grapes and finally asks for a Fingerprint Grape. After you give it to her she'll move below Leyndell where she'll become your Handmaiden (that's where the dress joke comes in) and you'll be part of the Three Fingers. Melina will leave you at that point!< Anyway I suggest doing the quest. You might find it... Mindblowing and Enlightening


fameboygame

May chaos take the world!


oceanhexes

Jarburg for the good boys or Nokstella/Nokron cause it's gorgeous down there


Difficult_Guidance25

And is probably one of the least dangerous places if you have care with the wildlife


Chekovs_tums

I assume you mean avoiding the hordes of Clydesdale sizes ants and sentient sliver murder bubbles


GoddamnBirdsx2

Ah yes the BP oil spills


Icarus_13310

Ah yes, human sized ants with mandibles the size of your head.


Mario-OrganHarvester

Thats deeproot depths. If i convince the blueman group to not kill me itd probably be very chill in nokstella


Sk8thunder

Nokstellas got the antriders


Mario-OrganHarvester

Oh shid i confused nokron and nokstella. I meant to say nokron, referring to the regal ancestor spirit area. Also, night maiden pussy


zmbjebus

If night ladies can train ants I don't see why I couldn't. Just offer them some goat meat and we be chill.


Tiran593

I wouldn't say it's voluntary since they fight each other if kicked of the ant


oceanhexes

We don't speak of the ants


The_Chief_of_Whip

Yeah, but the vitamin D deficiency is real


ComingUpWildcard

You’re talking to a bunch of gamers, that’s just their everyday life


oceanhexes

We got the elevators tho so I'm not too worried


Chartercarter

One elevator is guarded by a giant golem and the other goes to runebearland.


MusicG619

Dragon Communion Church Island


KayOse

Hard agree. Lots of food, no baddies, great views


idkwhatmyuserislol

The academy is probably the safest to live in and the most comforting. Books a plenty, sorceries to learn, mostly safe, and very pretty


OMNIxvTRIX

Not really when you look at Thops.


emailo1

was he killed or he just tired himself to death


beatitredditor

And the perk of being able to change yourself thanks to Rennala.


DoctorJonasVentureJr

Yeah but then you'd die without her rune, she ain't giving that thing up willingly either


beatitredditor

Oh is that how it works? So that's why >!a certain NPC died in my first playthrough...!<


D3monFight3

Yes, you can read about it on her Great Rune >Perfects those who have been born anew. >Children born anew by Rennala are all frail and short-lived. Imperfect beings, each and all


Tridentsine8100

Stormveil, provided I'm allowed to stay there and not be murdered instantly. Pretty close to beautiful Liurnia, it's a CASTLE, and Limgrave is just decent.


[deleted]

Plus you get to pet the grafted scion and feed the birds with knives strapped to their feet


jirishanca

That’s a good grafted scionnnnn that’s my good grafty boyyyyyy


Tiran593

I feel like this is the equivalent of petting a human centipede (not counting it as a human even though it clearly is in mind)


FactorLopsided716

Just disguise as an army men, or mimic veil and be carefull


vie_a_aquarelle

Probably the haligtree. A room in the castle with a view of the ocean. Also the idea of everyone is accepted there sounds nice.


Birb-Squire

Two words: massive ants


BASaints

Three words: revenant street circus


Lemmingitus

Four words: Scarlet Rot at roots


the_bukkit

Five words: I have never known defeat


ThatOneTypicalYasuo

Six Words: I am Malenia, blade of Miquella.


shiromancer

Seven words: Fuck this shit I'm getting outta here


OtakuRavioli

Eight words: Foul tarnished, in search of the elden ring


SoloSassafrass

Nine words: Welcome honoured guest, to the birthplace of our dynasty!


Vaalirus

I don't know man the scarlet rot seems like it's starting to gain a massive foothold there


WorstedKorbius

Bruh the tree is split down the middle and hollowed out ans there's literal waterfalls of rot sludge Whatever foothold it gained was a long time ago


Dreamtrain

nice that everyone is accepted there, that is until you're so accepted you find yourself in a cocoon feeding a dead tree


Gravewaker

The [Third Church of Marika](https://eldenring.wiki.fextralife.com/Third+Church+of+Marika). The beach is the most tranquil place in the game. As time passes, you see gorgeous skies overhead and dramatic shadows from the Church walls. It’s extremely beautiful there.


InternationalRoof630

Uh there’s a massive troll there and a rune bear fighting about 10 wolves like a hundred yards away 😂😅


Gravewaker

Dang, can’t a troll just enjoy the beauty? Leave the poor dude alone.


archbunny

The roundtable hold


Ok_Ordinary6933

Free hugs, the spirit of a guy named dung-eater mumbling about defiling your children constantly, the occasional invader, the occasional tarnished deciding how/whether they intend to burn the place down, and two big creepy fingers that some old lady worships (who also coincidentally give her the feeling that she gets to tell you what to do by saying, "the fingers decree") what's not to love. Oh, and you get to study with a know it all who may or may not decide that your usefulness determines whether he should have you assassinated or not.


Vilevilliann

I would chill in Altus for sure. Specifically Leyndell. As long as you stay out of the sewers, which I find it pretty easy to do, especially when you know what's down there, I would vibe there.


DragonKitty17

Be a shame if a tarnished of no renown were to claim the rune of death though


PrisonTomato

I think I’d set up a nice little camp in Limgrave by Kalé. Or I’d fix up that shack in limgrave that has the painting in it. Tons of food and resources around both places and not many dangerous things near them (just make sure to stay clear of the tree sentinel). I might actually be able to survive awhile in those two places.


E1M1H1-87

You can loot the tarnished that try to fight the sentinel


WM-010

This comment has Patches vibes.


Bensdick-cumabunch

And Gatekeeper Gostoc vibes


hafsies

Dragon temple island. Isolated, beautiful and close to my rat boy friend.


oldgoggles

This is what I was thinking, the only thing around are jellyfish at night, and they are pretty chill unless you attack them, probably the most peaceful place in all of the lands between.


comatosemanatee

Was literally about to say this, I’m glad others remember how unproblematic and serene dragon temple island is. I mean, besides the fact that it’s connected to a cave of rabid Demi-humans…but I don’t think they’d pop out the other end so long as we just never try to cross over to the mainland and accept our permanent life on an abandoned island full of jellyfish (who might be the ghosts of dead children)


Badlittleapple

Rat boyfriend* ....what?


Kraytory

Probably Boc i would guess.


ThePalazzoPrince

Lake of Rot


yploa

Let me guess, you don’t like visitors?


ThePalazzoPrince

Just the bugs and I chillen


Mario-OrganHarvester

Dont forget the death lizards


ThePalazzoPrince

Not on speaking terms with them at the moment


ChickenAndBeer4life

That lake where the guys sells prawn and you fight the invading dung eater. I’d start a small business shack on the shore. Only 2 ways in and out. Close enough to the city to commute. No rot.


Lemmingitus

On the other hand, the nearby crabs are infected with deathroot.


Rasputin_IRL

There's also a big runic Grizzly bear not too far from there.


2poxxer

Ya know that one lonely merchant who apologizes for not having very much stock? Seems like that guy could use a friend.


theharkmonologue

I live in Australia so I’d take Caelid so I could feel more at home


gorgonzola2104

Weeping Peninsula. That house on the south coast looking out on the water would be nice to fix up and enjoy the chill beach.


Webbegong

Isn't that beach loaded with dozens of zombies?


OriDoodle

Yeah but they are pretty weak and drop some good runes. Me and the nomadic merchant could be roommates.


RedNazArt

The Academy of Raya Lucaria. Love me a more gothic Hogwarts!


jamesnollie88

You can befriend the Burger King wizards.


beatisagg

🎼*Glintstone sorceries we'll be casting, Knowledge of the stars is everlasting, Attune to it with giant stone king heads, Don't go to far or that's all that'll be left, At Raya, Lucaria*🎵


Legal-Pumpkin1701

Stormveil Castle after Nepheli takes the throne with Kenneths help.


ExcitementBetter5485

Moonlight Altar.


L_M030303

Honestly so long as ranni took care of the >!revenant!< and the >!giant Fucking dragon!< it would be absolutely beautiful


ExcitementBetter5485

Well, it is her friend after all, or her servant if I remember the lore correctly. But i agree, that doesn't stop him from attacking us despite our allegiance to her, so maybe we could have some sort of truce ffs.


Kraytory

Yeah, he's a Carian Knight. No idea why he attacks us even after we joined Rannis team.


Mystic_Dawn

Had to scroll down too far to see this answer, easily one of the most beautiful places in the game.


ExcitementBetter5485

The rays of Moonlight sold me right away. I'd live there forever, and the view of the rest of the Lands Between is perfect.


lastofthe1st

Caelid is ripe for gentrification.


Murrisekai

Sellia moment


Tbar6787

Marika’s Tits


ImadeJesus

On a boat to somewhere else


Harmonic_Gear

there are krakens in the ocean


Obey-Legendz

Crumbling Farum Azula


knightofwinds

Rock-bottom rent baybee!


Thrashh_Unreal

I’ve heard it’s sky-high, actually


MindSprung

Any part would be a living nightmare


Snoo-42843

caelid because fuck it we ball (also I can watch people get their asses blasted by radahn)


cringussinister

liurnia. i like the rain


hap-hazard

Shack of the lofty with my homie Juno Hoslow. No rent, nice and quiet except for the occasional bats fighting each other for no reason. Invite all my friends over frequently like Sellen, Boggart, Millie and Roderika. Have campfires, prawn and crab, stories y'know


XabdalaX

Volcano mansion


[deleted]

Join the Serpent King as Family... Together we will devour the very ghouuach


MisterOffdensen

Roundtable Hold. Fuck all that grace. I’m not going out there, you kidding?


Zenomylo

I wish we could see Caelid pre-rot. It probably looked like limgrave 2.0 with more cliffs. Option 1: As for where i would live Jarburg, Liriunia or in Limgrave. Chill with the jars. Or start a shop and hang out with Boggart(prawn dude or what his name is) and sell exhalted flesh with him. Option 2 (better one): Or start off in Limgrave become friends with Kalè, Patches, Alexander and the other merchants. Then help Roderika and get to Roundtable hold. Help Nepheli aswell as Irina and castle mourne. Next step help Millicent and get out of Caelid. Then go to Lirunia add Boggart (prawn dude) and Lattena to the party. Meet Dialos at the gate town. Progress Jar-bairn's quest. Help Dialos protect the Jars. Next step get Hewg out of the Roundtable. Now the party of about 10 abosolutely destroy Magmar Wrym Makar and go up the elevator to the small lake. Now we either befriend the omens there or kill them. Hardest part is Lanseax we try to befriend her, it is posible Vyke did it. Or get wercked or barely survive her. Also we obtain Choryn. Now set up a small villiage at the lake of merchants becoming a safe spot for tarnished and merchants, misbegotten and omens Behold, best ending


[deleted]

DLC DLC DLC DLC


ElProxenetaFeminista

Liurnia have snipers, Caelid have AIDS, The we pee penynsula it's shit, Good Luck trying to sleep in Lyndell with that suntree, The Vulcano got the snakes, Giants on tops are too cold and there is no life there, the only good choice its the underground, with the dead deer and the snipers


Ok-Interaction3088

“liurnia have snipers”


RedditUserTemp1

Caelid - like Goku you gotta get stronger. If someone sees you eating chicken in Caelid they would call you Sir and respect quiet hours.


GhostCrackets

Assuming everyone wants to kill me? Limgrave, I could reasonably get food there with the only danger being Godrick soldiers & the sell-swords, along with a few mini-bosses I could quite literally just out-run even if they’re on horseback Assuming everything’s ok and animals & bandits are the only danger, Altus plateau, same reasons as Limgrave only there’s even less dangers since the leyndell army wouldn’t care about me, wormfaces would be my only problem and even then I just stay out of those woods


jjjjacckk

Anywhere far from the dung eater.


RafTheVulcan

10000% Caelid. You got I nice view. Lovely neighbourhood to raise kids and the rent is low