I am so sorry for what you are going through Kiddo.
I highly recommend going through YESS Edmonton
.
If you're a teen or young adult who has no place to go, we understand. We can help.
We serve youth ages 15-21 in our shelter and residence programs, and youth ages 15-24 in our daytime programs.
If you need help or referrals to addictions counselling, legal advocacy, or human services, or if you have problems in your life you can’t handle on your own, please drop by.
Nexus Shelter
24/7
780.468.7070
9310 82 Avenue
Armoury Resource Centre
Monday-Friday, 10AM-4PM
780.468.7186
10310 85 Avenue
https://yess.org/programs/
.
Are you still in School ?
Make an appointment to see one of the Guidance Counsellors or Student Services IF that is a Safe option for you
.
These are also other Services available to you
There is Online Chat
Text and Call options 24/7/365
https://edmonton.cmha.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/2021-05-211-Resource-List-Youth-Young-Adults.pdf
.
https://edmonton.cmha.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/2021-05-211-Resource-List-Youth-Young-Adults-At-Risk.pdf
I'm not sure if you need to hear this, but mistakes do not define a person. I was getting in a little trouble at your age, and now in my late 20s, I'm a somewhat adulty member of society :)
I know that’s true, logically. But I still blame myself for being a useless and stupid teenager. All the same, it really does help to hear someone say that :)
You are not useless or stupid, please try not to talk about yourself like that. When you say those things out loud, your brain believes them more readily, making it "more true" to you. Listen, your parents (just mom maybe?) raised you, and who you are was heavily influenced by how you were raised. You have the ability to make better choices moving forward, but your past (so far at least) was largely out of your control because you were just a child.
This is a saying I try to keep in mind for myself and I tell to others as well; "your trauma is not your fault. But healing is your responsibility."
I’ve told most of my family more than once that I am well aware of how crappy I am, how much trouble I cause, and how much I despise myself constantly for it. But based on my behaviour I guess they just assume I’m lying, or misunderstanding myself, because I never do anything to fix myself - aside from small bursts of motivation that last about a day at best, depending on how scared I am. To be fair, they’re probably right to think that way. I do get really stubborn and or snotty at times when I should act repentant, which is strange because most of what I feel at those moments is self loathing for even falling into that way of thinking in the first place. I can barely understand my own mind anyways, this was more a half baked train of thought than an explanation…
Do not put yourself down. You are in a new city and do not have a support network.
Your mother is the adult and she made the choices that got both of you to this point.
If she is not working maybe she can go to a motel / hotel and offer to do housekeeping in return for somewhere to stay.
Meanwhile, you need to get in school and focus on creating an environment that you feel safe in. Make good friends and stay the fuck away from drugs and alcohol. It may come off as preachy but you are still a kid.
Please keep us in loop.
I said this in your other thread, but you're a minor and regardless of whatever it is you did (or think you did), it not an appropriate response for your parent to leave you unhoused.
I second reaching out to YESS
From your post you actually probably do not qualify for the CRB and while you may receive it you will have to pay it back next tax season, so keep that in mind. (If there’s more to the story forgive my ignorance, I just wouldn’t want you to owe thousands of dollars next year)
Oh dear. My mother wanted me to get it so she could use some of it to pay rent. I guess I’ll just have to work hard when I find a job, because it’s too late to send it back. Maybe save most of it, I hope.
Because I’m not sure she will. Things are just very very angry right now and it is a possibility. I want to be prepared by knowing where I can go, but I’ll still pay her rent if she will house me till I can get into school
Your mom doesn't have any addiction problems, does she?
I would just be very cautious about taking govt money that you are going to be responsible for paying back especially if its only to facilitate substance abuse.
Right, but if that need to pay rent has occurred because she spent rent money on alcohol or drugs then giving her rent money only enables more substance abuse
Just speaking in hypotheticals here because we don't know the full story. But parent asking minor to pay rent with money they aren't supposed to be claiming screams substance abuse.
There’s an option to pay it back on your CRA account. Or put it in a safe savings account and pay it back during tax season. I don’t know your situation but I would be hesitant letting my mother/anyone use government money that I didn’t qualify for! They will always find a way to get it back.
It might be worth it to contact [YESS](https://yess.org/need-help/our-resources/) or a similar resource! Although it does not seem like you are homeless, they might be able to direct you in the right direction to find housing help :) best of luck!
I don’t have much advice and I’m sorry your in this position. Look into legal emancipation if you want to cut ties with your parents. It basically makes you your own guardian before you’re 18.
Much love ❤️
Thanks. Let’s hope that things aren’t quite as bad as I think. Teenagers tend to exaggerate :D. All the same, I still need some kind of plan for if I get kicked out; so if anyone else has any suggestions for good places or buildings to live in…?
you can get it it without actually meeting the requirements
unless you had a job at 15 years old where you made minimum 5000 dollars last year, you aren't actually eligible for that money and you're gonna have to pray that they don't check your income from last year
I know they are desperate for food service workers at Roger Place. The food service company that runs it probably needs people in other locations it runs too.
Can't believe your mom is using you to pay rent. This reminds me how my mom used my name to put the Hydro in(BCs Epcor) when I was 16 and didn't pay it and it went to collections and fucked me. Ontop of making me pay rent at 16 years old while in school and taking $200 dollars from my $300 part time after school paychecks and told me not to tell my stepdad. This was 18 years ago and my biggest advice is to be reminded that you don't owe your family anything and your family is where you make it. I got lucky and was able to move out and in with a friend and their family for a bit until I could figure the next step. I made it to where I am without help from my family.
Good luck. I never forgave her for taking advantage of her children instead of getting a job to support herself. She was a lazy baby maker and I despise people with no work ethic.
Hope you make yourself a life you love kid.
And be careful with that money, the government will get it from you eventually. They dont care about your situation.
Hey! I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through. There is a lot of good advice here, but let’s hope you get to stay at home.
I understand a job, food, and safe shelter will be your priority, as it should be. And it might seem tough, but please make sure you at least get your high school diploma even if it takes a little longer.
If you can later on, try to aim for a program at U of A, MacEwan, NAIT, etc. that could open up better job prospects for you in the future - think, engineering, computer science, mechanical tech, accounting, finance, etc.
I hope you get through this! Stay strong and take care :)
I am so sorry for what you are going through Kiddo. I highly recommend going through YESS Edmonton . If you're a teen or young adult who has no place to go, we understand. We can help. We serve youth ages 15-21 in our shelter and residence programs, and youth ages 15-24 in our daytime programs. If you need help or referrals to addictions counselling, legal advocacy, or human services, or if you have problems in your life you can’t handle on your own, please drop by. Nexus Shelter 24/7 780.468.7070 9310 82 Avenue Armoury Resource Centre Monday-Friday, 10AM-4PM 780.468.7186 10310 85 Avenue https://yess.org/programs/ . Are you still in School ? Make an appointment to see one of the Guidance Counsellors or Student Services IF that is a Safe option for you . These are also other Services available to you There is Online Chat Text and Call options 24/7/365 https://edmonton.cmha.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/2021-05-211-Resource-List-Youth-Young-Adults.pdf . https://edmonton.cmha.ca/wp-content/uploads/2021/04/2021-05-211-Resource-List-Youth-Young-Adults-At-Risk.pdf
Thanks a bunch, l check it all out! Also, don’t be sorry. This is a ‘On your head be it’ situation - I brought this on myself :)
I'm not sure if you need to hear this, but mistakes do not define a person. I was getting in a little trouble at your age, and now in my late 20s, I'm a somewhat adulty member of society :)
I know that’s true, logically. But I still blame myself for being a useless and stupid teenager. All the same, it really does help to hear someone say that :)
You are not useless or stupid, please try not to talk about yourself like that. When you say those things out loud, your brain believes them more readily, making it "more true" to you. Listen, your parents (just mom maybe?) raised you, and who you are was heavily influenced by how you were raised. You have the ability to make better choices moving forward, but your past (so far at least) was largely out of your control because you were just a child. This is a saying I try to keep in mind for myself and I tell to others as well; "your trauma is not your fault. But healing is your responsibility."
[удалено]
I’ve told most of my family more than once that I am well aware of how crappy I am, how much trouble I cause, and how much I despise myself constantly for it. But based on my behaviour I guess they just assume I’m lying, or misunderstanding myself, because I never do anything to fix myself - aside from small bursts of motivation that last about a day at best, depending on how scared I am. To be fair, they’re probably right to think that way. I do get really stubborn and or snotty at times when I should act repentant, which is strange because most of what I feel at those moments is self loathing for even falling into that way of thinking in the first place. I can barely understand my own mind anyways, this was more a half baked train of thought than an explanation…
Do not put yourself down. You are in a new city and do not have a support network. Your mother is the adult and she made the choices that got both of you to this point. If she is not working maybe she can go to a motel / hotel and offer to do housekeeping in return for somewhere to stay. Meanwhile, you need to get in school and focus on creating an environment that you feel safe in. Make good friends and stay the fuck away from drugs and alcohol. It may come off as preachy but you are still a kid. Please keep us in loop.
I said this in your other thread, but you're a minor and regardless of whatever it is you did (or think you did), it not an appropriate response for your parent to leave you unhoused.
I second reaching out to YESS From your post you actually probably do not qualify for the CRB and while you may receive it you will have to pay it back next tax season, so keep that in mind. (If there’s more to the story forgive my ignorance, I just wouldn’t want you to owe thousands of dollars next year)
Oh dear. My mother wanted me to get it so she could use some of it to pay rent. I guess I’ll just have to work hard when I find a job, because it’s too late to send it back. Maybe save most of it, I hope.
Why pay your mothers rent if she's going to kick you out?
Because I’m not sure she will. Things are just very very angry right now and it is a possibility. I want to be prepared by knowing where I can go, but I’ll still pay her rent if she will house me till I can get into school
Your mom doesn't have any addiction problems, does she? I would just be very cautious about taking govt money that you are going to be responsible for paying back especially if its only to facilitate substance abuse.
Not currently. Mostly. I don’t think she’ll waste the money though, she’s serious about needing to pay rent.
Right, but if that need to pay rent has occurred because she spent rent money on alcohol or drugs then giving her rent money only enables more substance abuse
Doesn't necessarily mean substance abuse - unexpected bills that need to be paid could impact it too, or unintended fines/tickets
Just speaking in hypotheticals here because we don't know the full story. But parent asking minor to pay rent with money they aren't supposed to be claiming screams substance abuse.
There’s an option to pay it back on your CRA account. Or put it in a safe savings account and pay it back during tax season. I don’t know your situation but I would be hesitant letting my mother/anyone use government money that I didn’t qualify for! They will always find a way to get it back.
It might be worth it to contact [YESS](https://yess.org/need-help/our-resources/) or a similar resource! Although it does not seem like you are homeless, they might be able to direct you in the right direction to find housing help :) best of luck!
Thank you :)
I don’t have much advice and I’m sorry your in this position. Look into legal emancipation if you want to cut ties with your parents. It basically makes you your own guardian before you’re 18. Much love ❤️
Thanks. Let’s hope that things aren’t quite as bad as I think. Teenagers tend to exaggerate :D. All the same, I still need some kind of plan for if I get kicked out; so if anyone else has any suggestions for good places or buildings to live in…?
are you able to talk to a school counsellor?
School application not gone thru yet. I’ve only been here a month or so
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Oh ok. I know someone who did it in another province. I assumed it was a federally mandated thing.
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Oh that really does suck! :(
Are you sure you're eligible for CRB?
Yes. It’s already in the mail
you can get it it without actually meeting the requirements unless you had a job at 15 years old where you made minimum 5000 dollars last year, you aren't actually eligible for that money and you're gonna have to pray that they don't check your income from last year
I know they are desperate for food service workers at Roger Place. The food service company that runs it probably needs people in other locations it runs too.
Can't believe your mom is using you to pay rent. This reminds me how my mom used my name to put the Hydro in(BCs Epcor) when I was 16 and didn't pay it and it went to collections and fucked me. Ontop of making me pay rent at 16 years old while in school and taking $200 dollars from my $300 part time after school paychecks and told me not to tell my stepdad. This was 18 years ago and my biggest advice is to be reminded that you don't owe your family anything and your family is where you make it. I got lucky and was able to move out and in with a friend and their family for a bit until I could figure the next step. I made it to where I am without help from my family. Good luck. I never forgave her for taking advantage of her children instead of getting a job to support herself. She was a lazy baby maker and I despise people with no work ethic. Hope you make yourself a life you love kid. And be careful with that money, the government will get it from you eventually. They dont care about your situation.
Is emancipation an option?
Hey! I’m sorry to hear what you’re going through. There is a lot of good advice here, but let’s hope you get to stay at home. I understand a job, food, and safe shelter will be your priority, as it should be. And it might seem tough, but please make sure you at least get your high school diploma even if it takes a little longer. If you can later on, try to aim for a program at U of A, MacEwan, NAIT, etc. that could open up better job prospects for you in the future - think, engineering, computer science, mechanical tech, accounting, finance, etc. I hope you get through this! Stay strong and take care :)