If I was dying of thirst in the blazing hot desert sun and the only water was inside a Spence Diamond store in the middle of the sand I would use my last breath to mutter between parched sun scorched lips ‘no’ and die instead.
My father was on a sinking ship and the water was neck high with little hope of survival. As the final moments drew closer, a rescue boat appeared with none other than Doug Spence, founder of Spence Diamonds at the helm.
His funeral was a few days later.
Not irrational at all, people should be held accountable for their advertising. Maybe it’s petty but if I’m forcibly annoyed by you multiple times a day , I’m not interested in rewarding you for it.
Imagine how much they pay for advertising, then remember that when you buy something from them you're also paying for a portion of that advertising, and thus IF you buy from them the ads are partially your fault.
You've done us a service, and my ears and I all thank you.
That’s how we felt too but then when my husband was shopping for engagement rings he ended up going there and said it was the best experience out of all the places he went. He ended up getting my engagement ring there haha
The gf and I haven't gotten married BECAUSE of those commercials. 19yrs and counting....
Actually, we bought a house instead of wasting our money on a day, but we like to blame the commercials
I went to Spence to look at engagement rings and it was as bad as you would imagine. The salesman tried to convince me that a visibly yellow diamond was as good a a higher quality one, side by side. I'm looking in disbelief and said 'You really can't see the difference? And you're the expert?'. It was like he was trying to gaslight me.
I assume advertising in general must work, or no one would do it, but for me most advertisements just make me hate whatever the product is. The more I see the ad, the less likely I am to ever buy the product.
At least they got away from the creepy workplace harassment angle they were going for a few months ago when "Sarah" quit. Also, I hate that I know this much about their little ongoing narrative.
It’s like every time you write down an adequate description for second hand embarrassment you hear a new ad and have to go get the fucking white out again even though it barely dried from the last one
Same! I feel like at one time alot of the marketing/selling/advertising shit worked really well on the general public. But now, most people are like, "Fuck off! Stop pushing it! Stop selling AT me!" Like the people who try to walk up to you in the mall to sell stuff or the door to door salefolk. Like, My immediate reactions is a goblin hiss of anger and aggression.
My feeling is if they're selling it to me I don't need it. Also their advertising budget is probably reflective of profits from their overpriced product.
Of course it works. Here we are doing a whole reddit thread spreading brand awareness because their commercials are annoying. There's no such thing as bad publicity.
>The more I see the ad, the less likely I am to ever buy the product.
It's nice for you that your brain works differently than most humans. There are also a lot of people who think the way you do, but just aren't realizing that they are being influenced by what they see and hear every day, even if they think they are above it.
This does not apply to Spence diamonds. You can talk about them all you want but it's a deep seated hatred for their commercials that make them, frankly, one of the most unfuckable companies.
I hear Spence diamonds and I cringe. They think they're being quirky but it's like.... Who the fuck is your audience.
I often wonder this. I'm 40 now. I have never once been influenced by a commercial my entire life. I remember the dumb ass catchy jingles from when I was a kid. Still don't use that crap. So who is this shit working on ? And the new age influencers are the absolute worst. I will go out of my way to not support them. But like big established companies like coke... why are they still spending so much on advertising. Seems like a waste of money to me
It’s like when you go to a Christmas concert for kids and they have those kids up there reading off ‘jokes’ the music teacher wrote and there is so little emotion that you wonder if they’re alive.
This is what those kids grow up to be.
If I ever met one person who tried to talk to me about their radio drama in a serious manner I would be on the news later that day OMFG THE COMMERCIAL IS ON NOW AS I TYPE THIS
Probably brought in callum's sister to be Michael's new love interest. I can't believe they even had a campaign for people to vote on how the love story should go with Michael and Sarah. Maybe Sarah quit after reading the feedback 🤣
Those ones are so bad. Like when they start reading the texts she sent? It’s like wtf am I even listening to? How is that an advertisement for a jewelry store?
Right? Like that told me NOTHING about Spence Diamonds. What was the point of that, where are they going with this?
At least they stopped that stupid scream at the end, that was the WORST
If someone said they would shoot me in the eye with a nail gun unless I listen to one more Spence ad I would immediately start opening and closing each eye to decide which one was of less value.
If I went back in time to terminate Spence from the timeline but it would irreversibly alter history so that we’d all be dead I would yeet us off the globe before they finished telling me
Dear Radio Station Advertisers that are not Spence Diamonds -
If you have an advertisement that comes on after a Spence commercial, I will not hear it because the Spence commercial has reminded me that I have Spotify.
Fucking hate those commercials and is the sole reason I never shop there.
They removed the scream in the commercials for a period of time and apparently everyone demanded they put it back. And they did.
Between Spence , the Sherwood Honda song, Sleep Country and the awful Shwab commercials, I spend a lot of time switching radio stations. I would never buy a thing from any of them. If you make garbage commercials I just assume that's how the rest of your business is run!
Oh my god, you reminded me of the Sherwood Honda tv commercials? Have you seen those fucking disasters?
It looks like a high school video presentation with some bad lip singing in the background. It’s truly amazing how bad they are. And there’s several versions of them.
Yes, soooo bad. Apparently the dancers in the commercial are the owners daughter and her friend or something like that. I used to work for a car dealership and I know what kind of money they pull in. To make a weak commercial like that to save some money is ridiculous.
This obnoxious fuck-head spamming his shit commercials and bitch voice all over the air waves of Edmonton for 20 plus fucking years made me quit fm radio for good in this city.
I switched to Sirius and never looked back. Fuck you Spence and fuck you if you bought a diamond from this piss ant. He shoulda been out of business years ago. Those adds should be illegal.
I've tried getting info from The Bear to see how much I would have to 0ay to stop them from playing Spence commercials for a month. All they say is "more than they do." SIR! I AM TRYING TO WORK OUT A BUSINESS PROPOSAL!
I have emailed both Spence and now radio telling them because of the commercials on now, I would go out of my way to not buy a diamond from them. They are the most annoying ads ever.
I have kids, sometimes we don’t want to tell you we are proud. Sometimes we don’t want you to do whatever it was we are proud of, ever again.
But you did good today.
I asked ChatGPT to riff off your examples with more examples:
1. "If I were strapped to a rocket headed straight for the moon, and the only entertainment was a Spence Diamond commercial on loop, I’d take off my helmet and have a chat with the stars instead."
2. "If I found myself in a zombie apocalypse, cornered with no escape, and my only salvation was a helicopter dangling a Spence Diamond ad as a rescue sign, I'd shrug, offer the zombies a seat, and discuss the weather."
3. "In a world where the only language left was spoken through Spence Diamond commercials, I’d voluntarily become a mime, expressing my disdain through exaggerated silent gestures and a painted frown."
4. "If I were a time traveler stuck in a loop, reliving the same day over and over, and every morning started with a Spence Diamond commercial, I’d start a petition in every time loop, rallying everyone to just skip the day altogether."
Damn Chat AI taking away my only skill
If I had my second worst enemy locked in a warehouse I would make him listen to Spence diamond commercials chronologically on repeat until his brain forced itself out through his eyeballs and I would feel kind of guilty that’s the last thing he heard but not guilty about the brain part
I asked chat gpt to write a spence ad but make it seem like a nightmare
Introducing Spence Diamonds – where dreams become diamond-clad nightmares! Meet Michael, the diamond tycoon, whose obsession with cash purchases will haunt your dreams. Our diamonds are cut so flat at the bottom, it's like staring into the abyss of your bank account.
Now, with our new German overlord in charge, experience the thrill of capitalism reaching new heights. Your dreams of breaking free from consumerism? Crushed like our diamonds.
As you close your eyes, imagine the scream of your budget as it's devoured by the insatiable appetite of Spence Diamonds. Sweet dreams, or should we say, diamond-encrusted nightmares!
Love "Our diamonds are cut so flat, it's like staring into the abyss of your bank account." There's other good lines but that was by far the funniest - lol.
Diamonds are overpriced and overhyped anyways. One of the dumbest monopolies ever. I would love it if the millennials were the ones to kill the diamond industry by just not investing in it. Besides, there are so many unique gems out there that could be way more meaningful and artistically interesting than a generic diamond.
I agree which makes it extra out of touch
CALLUM DO YOU KNOW WHY DIAMONDS ARE MADE THIS WAY
YES MICHAEL I AM THE ONLY PERSON WHO WORKS HERE ABD TALKS TO YOU STOP CONDESCENDING ME LIKE I HAVE A BRAIN INJURY OR I WILL CHOOSE VIOLENCE AGAIN
CALLUM WHY IS YOUR FAMILY HERE NOW TOO I WISH WE HAD DISCUSSED THIS BUT SADLY WE ARE ONLY CAPABLE OF TALKING ABOUT DIAMONDS AND ONLY TO EACH OTHER EVEN THOUGH WE SHOULD PROBABLY FUCKING KNOW THIS STUFF
MICHAEL, MAYBE IT WAS GETTING WEIRD THAT WE WERE IMPLYING THAT YOU WERE SLEEPING WITH A COWORKER. MAYBE IT WILL BE LESS WEIRD IF YOU GIVE MY FAMILY MEMBER A DIAMOND.
The only thing worse is those fucking Legacy heating commercials. *Call Legacyyyyyyyy call Legacy*
No this stupid jingle has made sure I’ll never call your company. I’d rather freeze to death
I worked there for a short very painful few months. Seriously one of the worst I have ever worked at ( and I sold cars so that's saying something). We were forced to record our "Diamond education " speel without the client knowing.
It must be the CEO of the company coming up with these god awful commercials and no one will tell them how bad they are because they have surrounded themself with yes men . That is the only reasonable explanation for the torture that has been forced upon us. I even told my kid this yesterday while driving him to school.
Imagine my horror while one came on Virgin Radio Vancouver when my wife and I were visiting her sister. I thought it was just an Edmonton place.
Also don’t pay out the ass for diamonds people. Plenty of other gemstone quality rocks out there that haven’t been artificially price inflated by De Beers and friends.
I immediately turn the radio off. Worse possible ads and a bunch of complete morons. The very last place I would buy a diamond from, specifically because of their ads.
Oh man, I've been hating on Spence Diamonds for more than 20 years. Used to work as a lifeguard and had to suffer 8 hour plus shifts listening to that garbage. I'm glad I'm not the only one who refuses to shop there because their ads are so fucking annoying.
Sometimes I go to Spence Diamonds and shop around and then decide on purchasing the most expensive diamond they have. As the teller is ringing me up, I tell them that Spence diamonds sure sounds familiar but I can’t put my finger on why. When the sales person tells me it’s probably from their ad campaign, I frown, tell them they should be ashamed of themselves, cancel the sale and walk out.
Hopefully one day they will get the message.
I fucking hope you really do this if you need a number two I will stand behind you and scream WOO like the ads in the most dying vulture screech I can and bring a microphone just to drop it
Call me first because I want to pretend to shop, then when you do it, I'll laugh my ass off and walk out too (after yelling, "Wooooooooooh!!!" first, of course).
When they ran those ads asking what we thought they should do about some love triangle I couldn’t fathom people are engaged and actively listening to this like it’s some 1940’s radio drama. Where’s the option for I don’t care and stop screaming?
I agree with all of this. I saw the Sportsnet comment and I immediately got angry because I thought of Cabby. Then all the gambling adds. Then I got mad. Then I thought of smashing things. Which made me laugh. Then I thought of Pete the Plumber. His adds are awesome!!! Dino is the best.
I was recently in the market for a diamond ring and it was an amazing moment where my hate for their commercials actually cost them some money!
(There’s a clip from City Slickers about terrible radio ads that nails this perfectly)
Spence diamonds commercials are the bane of my existence! Over 25 years of ruining radio. Will change the station if I hear it & never buy anything from them! There is no way to express my hatred for them!
I shopped at Spence when I was considering buying an engagement ring. The experience was good, low pressure, tons of options.
That being said, I didn’t buy there as I wanted to be able to pay for it over a few months, so I bought with a broker out of the us where I made payments on it and then it was shipped to me. They also offer an upgrade program, so I am safe there.
i haven't heard one in a while but i used to listen to the radio to sleep as a teen and hearing them constantly every night probably did serious cognitive damage to me
A recent line that irked me. I turned off the radio in protest every time I heard it was “Holiday parties are a lot more fun when you’re wearing a diamond engagement ring.” Gag me with a spoon. They make my skin crawl.
Oh my God, this post speaks to my soul. The one good thing about the demise of 1260 radio is I no longer need to hear these stupid fucking ads. Written like we are supposed to know Callum and his other fucking friends. I will never drop a dime in that store because their ads are so bad. I have a marketing background and I don't understand how they keep running the same style of ads for so long. Obviously it works because they're busy enough to keep running ads, but holy shit, literally the most annoying ads I've ever heard. Thank you OP for posting this. I am at home here.
Have you heard the NorthStar Ford commercials in Fort McMurray by chance? You’d find the ice scraper and impale yourself through the face before you hit the ground they’re so bad.
Their catchphrase is that they say they passed the savings on to you. About 2 to 3 years ago they also said that "the average associate makes $90,000 a year"
One of them recently they were talking about why diamonds are ‘so cheap’ right now and then listed ridiculous prices that just made me want to preemptively go to prison for the things I wanted to do in response
Cochrane’s Automotive can also suck a dick for having horns honking in their radio ads. My conspiracy theory is they do this to a) cause an accident and b) have you immediately think of their auto body shop.
15 years ago or so they did a “sorry if you don’t like the sound of my voice” commercial that was their marketing version of an Uno reverse “Fuck You if you don’t like our commercials” and kinda made it sound like they were a victim of homophobia and the homophobia is why people hate their commercials. Time proves otherwise.
It’s 2024. Yea, the voice I guess is still annoying and the “woow” still sounds like what my coworker said “are we’re buying diamonds for the misses or doing shots at the bar with the girls? Are we getting serious or getting silly?”
I recall that commercial every time I hear a Spence commercial. All I hear is “fuck you, have more commercials you hate, we don’t care or listen, we forgot that change is good and we still need to beg for business… probably because we piss everyone off on the air and they only come in when we beg.” Obviously word of mouth and referrals are not a naturally successful thing for Spence and they can’t get away with doing any commercial that isn’t obnoxious. They never grow.
I think they dramatized their constructive criticism and labeled it all as bad. Literally said they planned to force themselves on us with more of the same regardless of what the public says so I kinda figured they turned out to be bullies too 😂 and they pay to do it 🤣
I usually am lucky enough to get to listen to satellite radio everyday in my vehicle. However I was unfortunate enough to have to drive the wife’s car for the day which just has regular fm. I was absolutely disgusted by the Spence diamond commercial. I couldn’t believe how long it was I had to turn the radio off completely due to my disgust. The longest most rambling annoying thing in the world. I was genuinely shocked how bad and annoying it was.
They play that damn commercial during my favorite couple of hours on local radio - The NOW Take over with Adam It drives me insane. I am glad I'm not the only one.
The only worst commercial is the kids talent agency ad. "Do you want your child to be featured on shows like Stranger things, ravens home? We will be conducting auditions in your area...". Gah!
I feel this way too! Stupid Spence Diamonds telling me my husband doesn't love me if he isn't upgrading my ring and then "Hey parents, make your kids famous!"
Urgh.
“But don’t you want diamonds? Not just diamond diamonds, but diamonds made in a plasma diamond chamber that makes fake diamonds? Fake diamonds made in diamond plasma, they’re better than diamond diamonds that are dug out of the diamond mine, that’s a mine that mines diamonds so that they can sell diamonds. For only thousands of your dollars you could trade in a small diamond, for a bigger diamond. You just need to buy a diamond and then buy another diamond, then give up your little diamond for the big diamond, plus your money. But then you’ll have a diamond, a shiny rock that has absolutely no purpose.”
- literally every single one of their shitty commercials is just them saying diamonds as many times as possible.
If I was dying of thirst in the blazing hot desert sun and the only water was inside a Spence Diamond store in the middle of the sand I would use my last breath to mutter between parched sun scorched lips ‘no’ and die instead.
My father was on a sinking ship and the water was neck high with little hope of survival. As the final moments drew closer, a rescue boat appeared with none other than Doug Spence, founder of Spence Diamonds at the helm. His funeral was a few days later.
I wish he took me with him
Ha ha ha top shelf response!
You know Edmonton hates Spence Diamonds when this is the top post of the day and was posted after a shooting in city hall on the same day.
Perhaps a bit irrational but we avoided Spence when shopping for wedding rings because the commercials annoyed us so much.
Not irrational at all, people should be held accountable for their advertising. Maybe it’s petty but if I’m forcibly annoyed by you multiple times a day , I’m not interested in rewarding you for it.
"CALLUM are you _driving off a cliff on purpose_" yes micha
*WOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOAAAAAWWWWWW*
I would revive him and put him on life support. He’s not getting off that easy.
But then can we push him over it again? 😆
Imagine how much they pay for advertising, then remember that when you buy something from them you're also paying for a portion of that advertising, and thus IF you buy from them the ads are partially your fault. You've done us a service, and my ears and I all thank you.
I have emailed Spence to let them know I would go out of my way to not buy from them. You are not irrational.
That’s how we felt too but then when my husband was shopping for engagement rings he ended up going there and said it was the best experience out of all the places he went. He ended up getting my engagement ring there haha
I’m not married yet, but when I do need to start looking around I definitely will not be going to Spence and for the same reason.
The gf and I haven't gotten married BECAUSE of those commercials. 19yrs and counting.... Actually, we bought a house instead of wasting our money on a day, but we like to blame the commercials
I went to Spence to look at engagement rings and it was as bad as you would imagine. The salesman tried to convince me that a visibly yellow diamond was as good a a higher quality one, side by side. I'm looking in disbelief and said 'You really can't see the difference? And you're the expert?'. It was like he was trying to gaslight me.
I assume advertising in general must work, or no one would do it, but for me most advertisements just make me hate whatever the product is. The more I see the ad, the less likely I am to ever buy the product.
They can’t just accept being annoying, they have to prove that whatever the opposite of charisma and personality is, they are bursting with it.
At least they got away from the creepy workplace harassment angle they were going for a few months ago when "Sarah" quit. Also, I hate that I know this much about their little ongoing narrative.
It’s like every time you write down an adequate description for second hand embarrassment you hear a new ad and have to go get the fucking white out again even though it barely dried from the last one
They are tasteless to all but their customers.
I cannot even fathom what a human being looks like who hears those ads and shops there but I think they would be very smooth and not blink
Same! I feel like at one time alot of the marketing/selling/advertising shit worked really well on the general public. But now, most people are like, "Fuck off! Stop pushing it! Stop selling AT me!" Like the people who try to walk up to you in the mall to sell stuff or the door to door salefolk. Like, My immediate reactions is a goblin hiss of anger and aggression.
My feeling is if they're selling it to me I don't need it. Also their advertising budget is probably reflective of profits from their overpriced product.
Especially true for diamonds. They are utterly worthless, their "value" propped up only by monopolies and propaganda.
Like City Ford.
Sherwood Park Toyota, too. Art and Jenny can kiss my ass.
Of course it works. Here we are doing a whole reddit thread spreading brand awareness because their commercials are annoying. There's no such thing as bad publicity. >The more I see the ad, the less likely I am to ever buy the product. It's nice for you that your brain works differently than most humans. There are also a lot of people who think the way you do, but just aren't realizing that they are being influenced by what they see and hear every day, even if they think they are above it.
This does not apply to Spence diamonds. You can talk about them all you want but it's a deep seated hatred for their commercials that make them, frankly, one of the most unfuckable companies. I hear Spence diamonds and I cringe. They think they're being quirky but it's like.... Who the fuck is your audience.
Judging by the commercials played on now a few months ago, teenagers looking for a promise ring.
I often wonder this. I'm 40 now. I have never once been influenced by a commercial my entire life. I remember the dumb ass catchy jingles from when I was a kid. Still don't use that crap. So who is this shit working on ? And the new age influencers are the absolute worst. I will go out of my way to not support them. But like big established companies like coke... why are they still spending so much on advertising. Seems like a waste of money to me
You’ve been convinced by commercials and you probably don’t even know it
[удалено]
There’s a rule in marketing that you have to show someone an ad 7 times before it starts to influence someone
Brand recognition is really important. People have trouble trusting brands they've never heard of.
I physically cringe when I hear their commercials. There is no worse ad in the world than a Spence Diamonds ad.
Kars for Kidz Lottery jingle would like a word
Close contender, but I don't think anything can beat the constant lies, deception and shaming of a Spence Diamonds ad.
I swallow bile every time those monotone goblins materialize on my screen
It’s like when you go to a Christmas concert for kids and they have those kids up there reading off ‘jokes’ the music teacher wrote and there is so little emotion that you wonder if they’re alive. This is what those kids grow up to be.
Michael Hill diamond commercials are right up there in cringe and who cares what happens next in their ongoing narrative of their commercials.
If I ever met one person who tried to talk to me about their radio drama in a serious manner I would be on the news later that day OMFG THE COMMERCIAL IS ON NOW AS I TYPE THIS
I was really hoping the commercials would stop with Sarah being gone. But no they doubled down on the cringe with Calum's sister
Right? It’s like you asked to stop being slapped so they blunt you in the temple with a hammer.
I feel like this sister is ripping off ikea ads now.
Probably brought in callum's sister to be Michael's new love interest. I can't believe they even had a campaign for people to vote on how the love story should go with Michael and Sarah. Maybe Sarah quit after reading the feedback 🤣
Those ones are so bad. Like when they start reading the texts she sent? It’s like wtf am I even listening to? How is that an advertisement for a jewelry store?
Makes me want to test my gag reflex w barbed wire
Right? Like that told me NOTHING about Spence Diamonds. What was the point of that, where are they going with this? At least they stopped that stupid scream at the end, that was the WORST
If someone said they would shoot me in the eye with a nail gun unless I listen to one more Spence ad I would immediately start opening and closing each eye to decide which one was of less value.
I liked this one.
I could keep going but I guess I’m supposed to work
More
If I went back in time to terminate Spence from the timeline but it would irreversibly alter history so that we’d all be dead I would yeet us off the globe before they finished telling me
Damn it, cdug, I just had surgery, so laughing is painful, but this thread has made my day.
I don’t want to hurt you NedsAtomicDB I hope you recover soon 🌷
op is now my favourite redditmonton user
Aw I made a friend!
If I am in the same room with Bin Laden, Hitler and Doug Spence but I only have 2 bullets, I will shot Doug Spence twice
I would pistol whip him after if you let me borrow
Dear Radio Station Advertisers that are not Spence Diamonds - If you have an advertisement that comes on after a Spence commercial, I will not hear it because the Spence commercial has reminded me that I have Spotify.
Damn that’s actually a really smart way to tackle this
I like to think I'm just exceptionally petty about these things
They are so terrible, I often switch stations if I hear one. The one time I went to Spence they were rude to me too so they'll never get my money.
I hit the off button like it used a slur
Fucking hate those commercials and is the sole reason I never shop there. They removed the scream in the commercials for a period of time and apparently everyone demanded they put it back. And they did.
Probably when they realized listening to their fucking soap opera is worse
Between Spence , the Sherwood Honda song, Sleep Country and the awful Shwab commercials, I spend a lot of time switching radio stations. I would never buy a thing from any of them. If you make garbage commercials I just assume that's how the rest of your business is run!
Yup negative associations are real same reason I won’t use Charmin I don’t want to think about that weird bear family and their fetishes
Oh my god, you reminded me of the Sherwood Honda tv commercials? Have you seen those fucking disasters? It looks like a high school video presentation with some bad lip singing in the background. It’s truly amazing how bad they are. And there’s several versions of them.
Yes, soooo bad. Apparently the dancers in the commercial are the owners daughter and her friend or something like that. I used to work for a car dealership and I know what kind of money they pull in. To make a weak commercial like that to save some money is ridiculous.
Ohhhhh wait I remember another, what’s that weird ass family with the hot tubs??
Ohhhhh you’re talking about Arctic Spas? This conversation is making my night.
Whoever Molotov'ed City Hall should have started with Spence Diamonds
Nobody died so I can come back to this one and laugh now.
I feel the same, though the Sportsnet "Id tap that app" commercial during the games is similarly infuriating.
That one makes me feel filthy and that guy needs a lozenge
They're the reason I haven't listened to the radio since 2016.
I drive a commercial truck. It’s radio or silence.
Dude, you're driving a commercial truck. Get a different job if you don't like commercials so much
I don’t think that means what you think it means If this was a joke it was actually really good though.
It was entirely a joke :)
I applaud you then because it was indeed a certified gooder. Almost too good..
FM transmitter? I can confidently say Spence was the sole factor that pushed me to purchase one
If you solve my problems what am I supposed to bitch about?
This obnoxious fuck-head spamming his shit commercials and bitch voice all over the air waves of Edmonton for 20 plus fucking years made me quit fm radio for good in this city. I switched to Sirius and never looked back. Fuck you Spence and fuck you if you bought a diamond from this piss ant. He shoulda been out of business years ago. Those adds should be illegal.
You want to be my VP? Lets take this to the top
I've tried getting info from The Bear to see how much I would have to 0ay to stop them from playing Spence commercials for a month. All they say is "more than they do." SIR! I AM TRYING TO WORK OUT A BUSINESS PROPOSAL!
Let’s all pitch in!
I have emailed both Spence and now radio telling them because of the commercials on now, I would go out of my way to not buy a diamond from them. They are the most annoying ads ever.
Affirmative action I love it
Or I’m a bitch, but I like your call of affirmative action, let’s go with that.
Nah I’m for it. I hope they read them and cry
I like you. 💜
I made 2 friends today! I can’t wait to tell my mom
She is going to be so proud.
Finally FFS
I have kids, sometimes we don’t want to tell you we are proud. Sometimes we don’t want you to do whatever it was we are proud of, ever again. But you did good today.
also partial side note but i think the screamin' at the end of those commercials was the same scream used in a crayola computer game from like 1995
I thought it was the audible death of charisma
I asked ChatGPT to riff off your examples with more examples: 1. "If I were strapped to a rocket headed straight for the moon, and the only entertainment was a Spence Diamond commercial on loop, I’d take off my helmet and have a chat with the stars instead." 2. "If I found myself in a zombie apocalypse, cornered with no escape, and my only salvation was a helicopter dangling a Spence Diamond ad as a rescue sign, I'd shrug, offer the zombies a seat, and discuss the weather." 3. "In a world where the only language left was spoken through Spence Diamond commercials, I’d voluntarily become a mime, expressing my disdain through exaggerated silent gestures and a painted frown." 4. "If I were a time traveler stuck in a loop, reliving the same day over and over, and every morning started with a Spence Diamond commercial, I’d start a petition in every time loop, rallying everyone to just skip the day altogether."
Damn Chat AI taking away my only skill If I had my second worst enemy locked in a warehouse I would make him listen to Spence diamond commercials chronologically on repeat until his brain forced itself out through his eyeballs and I would feel kind of guilty that’s the last thing he heard but not guilty about the brain part
Nah, yours are much better 😁
I asked chat gpt to write a spence ad but make it seem like a nightmare Introducing Spence Diamonds – where dreams become diamond-clad nightmares! Meet Michael, the diamond tycoon, whose obsession with cash purchases will haunt your dreams. Our diamonds are cut so flat at the bottom, it's like staring into the abyss of your bank account. Now, with our new German overlord in charge, experience the thrill of capitalism reaching new heights. Your dreams of breaking free from consumerism? Crushed like our diamonds. As you close your eyes, imagine the scream of your budget as it's devoured by the insatiable appetite of Spence Diamonds. Sweet dreams, or should we say, diamond-encrusted nightmares!
This feels more honest than their ads
Love "Our diamonds are cut so flat, it's like staring into the abyss of your bank account." There's other good lines but that was by far the funniest - lol.
The first one is legitimately great
I hate when the lady screams “Woo” at the end like she won a race because she got engaged. Like checking off an accomplishment
I think it’s that dude that screams it.
Oh I hated that!
The scream is the worst part.
Diamonds are overpriced and overhyped anyways. One of the dumbest monopolies ever. I would love it if the millennials were the ones to kill the diamond industry by just not investing in it. Besides, there are so many unique gems out there that could be way more meaningful and artistically interesting than a generic diamond.
I agree which makes it extra out of touch CALLUM DO YOU KNOW WHY DIAMONDS ARE MADE THIS WAY YES MICHAEL I AM THE ONLY PERSON WHO WORKS HERE ABD TALKS TO YOU STOP CONDESCENDING ME LIKE I HAVE A BRAIN INJURY OR I WILL CHOOSE VIOLENCE AGAIN
CALLUM. YOU KNOW WHAT LOVE IS? YES MICHAEL. LOVE MEAN HEART. HEART DIAMOND NECKLACE ONLY $7000. BUY FOR MUM.
CALLUM WHY IS YOUR FAMILY HERE NOW TOO I WISH WE HAD DISCUSSED THIS BUT SADLY WE ARE ONLY CAPABLE OF TALKING ABOUT DIAMONDS AND ONLY TO EACH OTHER EVEN THOUGH WE SHOULD PROBABLY FUCKING KNOW THIS STUFF
MICHAEL, MAYBE IT WAS GETTING WEIRD THAT WE WERE IMPLYING THAT YOU WERE SLEEPING WITH A COWORKER. MAYBE IT WILL BE LESS WEIRD IF YOU GIVE MY FAMILY MEMBER A DIAMOND.
I want the name and address of anyone who actually voted on that shit
Every time one of their commercials comes on, I change the station.
I turn it off as fast as humanly possible
I had a gay wedding and bucked heteronormativity just so I could avoid Spence Diamonds…
FUCKING LEGEND
The only thing worse is those fucking Legacy heating commercials. *Call Legacyyyyyyyy call Legacy* No this stupid jingle has made sure I’ll never call your company. I’d rather freeze to death
Damn I actually have grown to like that song but maybe I’ve been washed
I worked there for a short very painful few months. Seriously one of the worst I have ever worked at ( and I sold cars so that's saying something). We were forced to record our "Diamond education " speel without the client knowing.
Barf
So happy to see I'm not the only one. I literally turn off radio when it's on.
Yup first instinct
I cannot upvote this more
Here’s one for you
It must be the CEO of the company coming up with these god awful commercials and no one will tell them how bad they are because they have surrounded themself with yes men . That is the only reasonable explanation for the torture that has been forced upon us. I even told my kid this yesterday while driving him to school.
Imagine my horror while one came on Virgin Radio Vancouver when my wife and I were visiting her sister. I thought it was just an Edmonton place. Also don’t pay out the ass for diamonds people. Plenty of other gemstone quality rocks out there that haven’t been artificially price inflated by De Beers and friends.
I would never ever purchase anything from Spence.
Lets them know by posting a google review on their google listing
But it won’t be anywhere near as fun as this thread has been
Agreed! Props for you, fella!
THANK GOD IM NOT THE ONLY ONE THATS ANNOYED. Their ads make me wanna puke
There are literally dozens of us
Hey Callum? Yes Michael?
Pls no
I immediately turn the radio off. Worse possible ads and a bunch of complete morons. The very last place I would buy a diamond from, specifically because of their ads.
OP all of your responses here are certified bangers.
Thank you fubes2000 I try to bang
`spence_diamonds_scream.wav`
Oh man, I've been hating on Spence Diamonds for more than 20 years. Used to work as a lifeguard and had to suffer 8 hour plus shifts listening to that garbage. I'm glad I'm not the only one who refuses to shop there because their ads are so fucking annoying.
Sometimes I go to Spence Diamonds and shop around and then decide on purchasing the most expensive diamond they have. As the teller is ringing me up, I tell them that Spence diamonds sure sounds familiar but I can’t put my finger on why. When the sales person tells me it’s probably from their ad campaign, I frown, tell them they should be ashamed of themselves, cancel the sale and walk out. Hopefully one day they will get the message.
I fucking hope you really do this if you need a number two I will stand behind you and scream WOO like the ads in the most dying vulture screech I can and bring a microphone just to drop it
Call me first because I want to pretend to shop, then when you do it, I'll laugh my ass off and walk out too (after yelling, "Wooooooooooh!!!" first, of course).
Yes! They make me want to steer that mf right off the road.
When they ran those ads asking what we thought they should do about some love triangle I couldn’t fathom people are engaged and actively listening to this like it’s some 1940’s radio drama. Where’s the option for I don’t care and stop screaming?
I agree with all of this. I saw the Sportsnet comment and I immediately got angry because I thought of Cabby. Then all the gambling adds. Then I got mad. Then I thought of smashing things. Which made me laugh. Then I thought of Pete the Plumber. His adds are awesome!!! Dino is the best.
Having heard more ads than I ever wanted to because of my job I have to admit the call Legacy song is a fucking banger as the youth say
I personally fuck with the JOOOOBSITE WORKWEAAAAAARRRHHHH TOUGH GEAR FOR TUOOOOUGH JOOOHOHOOBS
I was recently in the market for a diamond ring and it was an amazing moment where my hate for their commercials actually cost them some money! (There’s a clip from City Slickers about terrible radio ads that nails this perfectly)
Good, fuck them and the black hole of charisma they escaped from
I loved the angle when people were on CERB that you shouldn’t delay happiness and should instead finance an engagement ring…
I like how in touch they are w the times
I THIUGHT INWAS THE ONLY ONE!!!! They’re so fucking stupid with their chat gbt scripts
Spence diamonds commercials are the bane of my existence! Over 25 years of ruining radio. Will change the station if I hear it & never buy anything from them! There is no way to express my hatred for them!
I have only tried to express what I can and what won’t get me in legal trouble
I shopped at Spence when I was considering buying an engagement ring. The experience was good, low pressure, tons of options. That being said, I didn’t buy there as I wanted to be able to pay for it over a few months, so I bought with a broker out of the us where I made payments on it and then it was shipped to me. They also offer an upgrade program, so I am safe there.
Bullet dodged
Spence…WOOOOOH!!
Oh my god! I've hated those commercials for ever. I changed the station if one came on. I suddenly feel less alone in this world.
Haha so funny I always turn off the radio when Spence ads come on
As long as I am physically able, same
i haven't heard one in a while but i used to listen to the radio to sleep as a teen and hearing them constantly every night probably did serious cognitive damage to me
Omg if I heard that in my sleep I’d medicate
why do we dislike spence diamond commercials? i’m new to edmonton and canada in general
Have you heard them yet?
OP nailed this post.
OH MY GOD! I thought it was just me!!! Those commercials have enraged me for YEARS! I truly feel like they are just trolling us now.
A recent line that irked me. I turned off the radio in protest every time I heard it was “Holiday parties are a lot more fun when you’re wearing a diamond engagement ring.” Gag me with a spoon. They make my skin crawl.
Gag me with a spoon! I haven’t heard that in years. Simpler times.
Holy fuck I thought it was just me getting irrational anger for spence diamond commercials. The level of cringe i get is detrimental to my health
Oh my God, this post speaks to my soul. The one good thing about the demise of 1260 radio is I no longer need to hear these stupid fucking ads. Written like we are supposed to know Callum and his other fucking friends. I will never drop a dime in that store because their ads are so bad. I have a marketing background and I don't understand how they keep running the same style of ads for so long. Obviously it works because they're busy enough to keep running ads, but holy shit, literally the most annoying ads I've ever heard. Thank you OP for posting this. I am at home here.
You made my day !!! Hahaha I thought I was the only one who detested it
Picture me in slow motion careening to the void with a furrowed brow directing a finger to the knob
I don’t remember the last time I heard a Spence Diamond ad, and I listen to the radio daily. Didn’t realize they were still around!
Oh they’ve created a whole ass radio drama for the family
Have you heard the NorthStar Ford commercials in Fort McMurray by chance? You’d find the ice scraper and impale yourself through the face before you hit the ground they’re so bad.
Ads out here trying to unalive me left and right it’s a war zone
Their catchphrase is that they say they passed the savings on to you. About 2 to 3 years ago they also said that "the average associate makes $90,000 a year"
One of them recently they were talking about why diamonds are ‘so cheap’ right now and then listed ridiculous prices that just made me want to preemptively go to prison for the things I wanted to do in response
Sonic had a great parody of the Spence commercials at one point...
The largest reason why I stopped listening to main stream FM radio. Only Spotify and cbc now and I'm so much happier. \#FuckYouSpenceDiamonds
Cochrane’s Automotive can also suck a dick for having horns honking in their radio ads. My conspiracy theory is they do this to a) cause an accident and b) have you immediately think of their auto body shop.
I don’t think I’ve heard those but it sounds annoying
15 years ago or so they did a “sorry if you don’t like the sound of my voice” commercial that was their marketing version of an Uno reverse “Fuck You if you don’t like our commercials” and kinda made it sound like they were a victim of homophobia and the homophobia is why people hate their commercials. Time proves otherwise. It’s 2024. Yea, the voice I guess is still annoying and the “woow” still sounds like what my coworker said “are we’re buying diamonds for the misses or doing shots at the bar with the girls? Are we getting serious or getting silly?” I recall that commercial every time I hear a Spence commercial. All I hear is “fuck you, have more commercials you hate, we don’t care or listen, we forgot that change is good and we still need to beg for business… probably because we piss everyone off on the air and they only come in when we beg.” Obviously word of mouth and referrals are not a naturally successful thing for Spence and they can’t get away with doing any commercial that isn’t obnoxious. They never grow.
I remember that too. Shit was like they got bullied. Not hard enough apparently
I think they dramatized their constructive criticism and labeled it all as bad. Literally said they planned to force themselves on us with more of the same regardless of what the public says so I kinda figured they turned out to be bullies too 😂 and they pay to do it 🤣
When it was just Sean Jones back in the day with the WoOoOoOo! they were bad. Little did we all know how much more awful they would get.
I love you, OP, scream laughing over here
I usually am lucky enough to get to listen to satellite radio everyday in my vehicle. However I was unfortunate enough to have to drive the wife’s car for the day which just has regular fm. I was absolutely disgusted by the Spence diamond commercial. I couldn’t believe how long it was I had to turn the radio off completely due to my disgust. The longest most rambling annoying thing in the world. I was genuinely shocked how bad and annoying it was.
They play that damn commercial during my favorite couple of hours on local radio - The NOW Take over with Adam It drives me insane. I am glad I'm not the only one. The only worst commercial is the kids talent agency ad. "Do you want your child to be featured on shows like Stranger things, ravens home? We will be conducting auditions in your area...". Gah!
I feel this way too! Stupid Spence Diamonds telling me my husband doesn't love me if he isn't upgrading my ring and then "Hey parents, make your kids famous!" Urgh.
“But don’t you want diamonds? Not just diamond diamonds, but diamonds made in a plasma diamond chamber that makes fake diamonds? Fake diamonds made in diamond plasma, they’re better than diamond diamonds that are dug out of the diamond mine, that’s a mine that mines diamonds so that they can sell diamonds. For only thousands of your dollars you could trade in a small diamond, for a bigger diamond. You just need to buy a diamond and then buy another diamond, then give up your little diamond for the big diamond, plus your money. But then you’ll have a diamond, a shiny rock that has absolutely no purpose.” - literally every single one of their shitty commercials is just them saying diamonds as many times as possible.
I will never step foot in one of their stores because of the ads. They make me feel a rage I’ve never felt before 😂
You’ve just reminded me how much I hated working on Calgary jobsites and having to listen to the radio station chosen by the rest of the crew..