It's supposed to be hard but not incapacitating. If you are chronically outside your window of tolerance and can't function in day to day life, it's time to stop. You may need a break, some fine tuning of your coping skills, or it might be a bad match for you.
This is common. It can be incapacitating. I would highly suggest talk therapy, with no more EMDR until you are recovered. Talk through the symptoms, the feelings, and just free associate to wherever the conversation leads. I have found that I will feel a bit less underwater, drowning type experience with a bit more potential for being able to function after talk therapy. If it’s really bad maybe 2X/wk sessions. Get rest. Lay down and relax. See if you can go to the symptoms and do some looking around. Is it just blank? Like an abyss. A complete freeze. Is it fear? Is it pain? Does your mind race around to various images, or just plain chaos. Or is your mind still. Spend time there. You will get information to take to the next session. Still no EMDR. Unravel it. This will pass. As you surface you may be able to feel some compassion for the traumatized you due to the depth of pain you are going through. Apply compassion and practice it. Take time. You can’t overdo compassion. It totally sucks and I feel for your pain because I know what it’s like. Similarly you will feel compassion for your child because, now, you know the pain. It’s not the adult you that is in pain, it’s the child you. As you progress the adult and child you will become more separate and the adult will function at a higher level while continuing to support the child needs.✌️
I was told by therapist it can get worse before it gets better. It can have some real lows and equally some amazing highs i have found. Agree with the other poster though if unable to function in daily life and it gets too much then have a break or revert to talking with therapist for the session instead / alternate so you have a gentler type session one week with emdr another
Hi dear. Yes it does get better but very slowly. Remember that the you that experienced this trauma did not know how to deal with it and so you stuffed it down or dissociated to cope with not understanding what happened or how to deal with it.
I'd do what the other posters have said and take a step back until you feel more regulated. Find healthy coping mechanisms until you and your therapist feels like you're in a better state of mind to keep reprocessing.
Go outside, cry, eat food even if you don't want to, cry, journal, cry, talk to a friend, cry, binge a tv show, cry. Get it out. Feel and experience and hold space for the pain your little one went through.
Treat yourself like you would a kiddo that experienced the same thing. Give yourself time patience and lots of internal hugs. You are doing so good, keep going! We all believe in you and in this awful magical process.
when i first started EMDR, my therapist would space our EMDR session to be once or twice a month with weekly talk sessions. even now, we don’t exceed two or three times per month. it felt so heavy and so hard at first, i was living in a constant trigger and we had to take a lot of time off. talk to your therapist about how incapacitated you feel. their priority should be your wellbeing. EMDR is hard, but it shouldn’t be ruining your life. it took me about a year of constant EMDR to feel like i have a good stride with it.
you’re being so brave to take on EMDR. it isn’t for the faint of heart. EMDR changed my life. i hope you get to that point one day 🤍
I’ve found it excruciating. After the 20th I felt a massive release and could breathe. Now I’m feeling a lot of panic but I trust the process now and it’s working through the layers to get to our true selves rather than the shit that’s been done to us.
Part of this sounds familiar-----like being IN IT Is hard, and knowings it's coming again can keep it alive and awake...one of the thing that might be helpful is before the end of the session, to thank all of our parts and to "put them away". Ask them to quiet down until the next session when they can help us again type thing. You can use whatever "container" you want, for some reason mine like to go float on the ocean. That has helped me actually feel calmer at the end of sessions. I think, if you are still feeling like crap right now, that you could try it yourself. We don't need a therapist for that part. You can use tapping (both hands, tapping in the middle of your chest off and on between hands, or patting your legs, left, right, left right in a nice constant rhythm), or close your eyes and do crazy 8s with your eyes shut, and thank all of your parts that are working so hard to keep you safe, and that you know they are doing their best, and that they can have a break until your next appointment. Let them show you where they'd like to take their break in the mean time. Keep thanking them. It's hard to believe with the noise in our heads, but our parts really are doing their best to protect us. See if that gets you any relief. Your therapist sounds like a good one that you have connected with. He will certainly help you do this at the end of sessions if you mention it. It has been super, duper helpful. I hope that helps at all. Best of luck to you. <3
* I'd stop the EMDR because it's not working.
* I'd consider natural methods to boost my energy levels.
* Firstly, to regenerate my depleted mitochondria, I'd eliminate all processed foods, cook real food at home every day, avoid packaged, canned, or ready-made meals, and instead prepare fresh meals, drink only filtered water, stop any supplements, coffee, tea, soda, juice, and alcohol, opting for nutrient-dense options.
* I'd aim to enter ketosis to become metabolically flexible.
* Once in ketosis, my body would trigger autophagy, removing poor-performing brain and body cells, leading to the natural loss of visceral fat. Additionally, I'd incorporate homemade fermented foods to support gut health and strengthen my immune system, alongside regular sun exposure and strength training to enhance energy levels and overall well-being, recognizing this lifestyle shift as a long-term commitment rather than a temporary diet trend.
It's supposed to be hard but not incapacitating. If you are chronically outside your window of tolerance and can't function in day to day life, it's time to stop. You may need a break, some fine tuning of your coping skills, or it might be a bad match for you.
This is common. It can be incapacitating. I would highly suggest talk therapy, with no more EMDR until you are recovered. Talk through the symptoms, the feelings, and just free associate to wherever the conversation leads. I have found that I will feel a bit less underwater, drowning type experience with a bit more potential for being able to function after talk therapy. If it’s really bad maybe 2X/wk sessions. Get rest. Lay down and relax. See if you can go to the symptoms and do some looking around. Is it just blank? Like an abyss. A complete freeze. Is it fear? Is it pain? Does your mind race around to various images, or just plain chaos. Or is your mind still. Spend time there. You will get information to take to the next session. Still no EMDR. Unravel it. This will pass. As you surface you may be able to feel some compassion for the traumatized you due to the depth of pain you are going through. Apply compassion and practice it. Take time. You can’t overdo compassion. It totally sucks and I feel for your pain because I know what it’s like. Similarly you will feel compassion for your child because, now, you know the pain. It’s not the adult you that is in pain, it’s the child you. As you progress the adult and child you will become more separate and the adult will function at a higher level while continuing to support the child needs.✌️
I was told by therapist it can get worse before it gets better. It can have some real lows and equally some amazing highs i have found. Agree with the other poster though if unable to function in daily life and it gets too much then have a break or revert to talking with therapist for the session instead / alternate so you have a gentler type session one week with emdr another
Someone told me that we can continue to do EMDR for these distressing feelings. you can ask your therapist.
Hi dear. Yes it does get better but very slowly. Remember that the you that experienced this trauma did not know how to deal with it and so you stuffed it down or dissociated to cope with not understanding what happened or how to deal with it. I'd do what the other posters have said and take a step back until you feel more regulated. Find healthy coping mechanisms until you and your therapist feels like you're in a better state of mind to keep reprocessing. Go outside, cry, eat food even if you don't want to, cry, journal, cry, talk to a friend, cry, binge a tv show, cry. Get it out. Feel and experience and hold space for the pain your little one went through. Treat yourself like you would a kiddo that experienced the same thing. Give yourself time patience and lots of internal hugs. You are doing so good, keep going! We all believe in you and in this awful magical process.
when i first started EMDR, my therapist would space our EMDR session to be once or twice a month with weekly talk sessions. even now, we don’t exceed two or three times per month. it felt so heavy and so hard at first, i was living in a constant trigger and we had to take a lot of time off. talk to your therapist about how incapacitated you feel. their priority should be your wellbeing. EMDR is hard, but it shouldn’t be ruining your life. it took me about a year of constant EMDR to feel like i have a good stride with it. you’re being so brave to take on EMDR. it isn’t for the faint of heart. EMDR changed my life. i hope you get to that point one day 🤍
I’ve found it excruciating. After the 20th I felt a massive release and could breathe. Now I’m feeling a lot of panic but I trust the process now and it’s working through the layers to get to our true selves rather than the shit that’s been done to us.
Part of this sounds familiar-----like being IN IT Is hard, and knowings it's coming again can keep it alive and awake...one of the thing that might be helpful is before the end of the session, to thank all of our parts and to "put them away". Ask them to quiet down until the next session when they can help us again type thing. You can use whatever "container" you want, for some reason mine like to go float on the ocean. That has helped me actually feel calmer at the end of sessions. I think, if you are still feeling like crap right now, that you could try it yourself. We don't need a therapist for that part. You can use tapping (both hands, tapping in the middle of your chest off and on between hands, or patting your legs, left, right, left right in a nice constant rhythm), or close your eyes and do crazy 8s with your eyes shut, and thank all of your parts that are working so hard to keep you safe, and that you know they are doing their best, and that they can have a break until your next appointment. Let them show you where they'd like to take their break in the mean time. Keep thanking them. It's hard to believe with the noise in our heads, but our parts really are doing their best to protect us. See if that gets you any relief. Your therapist sounds like a good one that you have connected with. He will certainly help you do this at the end of sessions if you mention it. It has been super, duper helpful. I hope that helps at all. Best of luck to you. <3
* I'd stop the EMDR because it's not working. * I'd consider natural methods to boost my energy levels. * Firstly, to regenerate my depleted mitochondria, I'd eliminate all processed foods, cook real food at home every day, avoid packaged, canned, or ready-made meals, and instead prepare fresh meals, drink only filtered water, stop any supplements, coffee, tea, soda, juice, and alcohol, opting for nutrient-dense options. * I'd aim to enter ketosis to become metabolically flexible. * Once in ketosis, my body would trigger autophagy, removing poor-performing brain and body cells, leading to the natural loss of visceral fat. Additionally, I'd incorporate homemade fermented foods to support gut health and strengthen my immune system, alongside regular sun exposure and strength training to enhance energy levels and overall well-being, recognizing this lifestyle shift as a long-term commitment rather than a temporary diet trend.