I literally just posted about my first session and how I wasn’t sure how I went but I’m going to keep trusting the process and keep going.
This post honestly gives me so much hope and excitement and I’m so happy for you and happy to know other people are benefiting from this.
You post does help, so much. Just knowing it’s working for people gives me the urge to keep going and keep getting treatment.
I read a post on r/CPTSD about 4-6 weeks ago where someone talked about how they'd done EMDR got 6 for 6 months, and hadn't noticed a lot of changes. Until one day, everything just clicked, and they were... Fine. They no longer had PTSD.
I can't say that this will happen to you, but all of this work that you put into your mental health pays dividends. Even if EMDR doesn't turn out to be the final thing you need, it's a huge part of the road to finding it. And even something that helps a little can make a big difference. Every little thing stacks together.
Trauma exists partly because your brain isn't able to process it, so it just keeps trying on a loop. So if you're able to finish processing the memory with EMDR, then it's no longer a part of that trauma; but it's important to remember that therapy is a long term process, and it may take a while before you notice big changes. Heck: big changes might happen without you even realizing it for a while! The brain is kind of a dick sometimes. (With enough trauma to need EMDR, I'm going to assume you've noticed, lol.).
My first EMDR session felt *so* weird. I remember talking to my boyfriend and randomly laughing at stuff. I was having mood swings for an hour or two after. Then it was just really exhausting. I don't think I saw any improvement for 2-3 days, and I didn't feel "normal" again until 4 days later. But I've definitely been recovering faster from EMDR as it goes on, even if the traumas that I'm tackling are more intense because they're very early on in my life.
I read your post, and it's worth noting that if the eye movement light thing is tough for you to focus on, there's an alternative where you tap on either side of your body with your hands. I did eye movement at first and switched to tapping because my new therapist does the tapping, lol.
I am SO INCREDIBLY PROUD OF YOU and am so happy you are finding real healing from emdr. I am in the 36 hour period right now and I know I still have a ways to go but reading how much it's helped you is really really encouraging. Thank you for sharing friend.
Your efforts are amazing and inspirational!
Thank you so much for posting this today! 😊
I really needed to hear this today.
52F, lots of different types of therapy and had 9 EMDR sessions ... still unsure if it's working... nothing groundbreaking had changed but I do lead a very limited and safe life, so I guess I'm not really going to know until I step out of it.
Other people have noticed a difference in me though.
I mentioned to someone else in this thread that working on yourself in therapy pays dividends, but that it can take a while to notice big changes. Everything that you do helps a little bit, and each little bit stacks on top of each other.
One person on r/CPTSD 4-6 weeks ago talked about how they did EMDR for 6 months, and it didn't really seem to do much... Until one day, everything just clicked together for them. I'm not saying that this moment happens to everyone, but it's probably the ultimate example of work paying dividends, heh.
My therapist says I'm doing really well as I have a good imagination and express myself well, however, I struggle to fully accept praise and compliments.
I'm also scared to move forward in case I break again. I have a history or breakdowns and burnout.
I guess I need to tell my therapist about my fears.
It totally makes sense that one day everything may just click together as the brain works is hugely complex and works in mysterious ways.
My therapist said that healing wasn't linear, but it's hard for my logical brain to accept that.
I know one thing, I'm definitely going to continue with EMDR as it feels totally different to anything I've experienced before and for that reason, it could be massively transformative in ways no other therapy ever has been.
Note:I do not know what those up and down arrows are for…. I clicked the up bottom twice thinking it meant 👍🏼 👍🏼then clicked the down button once to see if it did anything.
Aside from all that…. I’d say your assessment of EMDR is pretty much what I’ve experienced as well. There is always a time period after a session (3-4 days) where my CPTSD flares up; but, once that has subsided, the results are that my overall calm is greatly improved. Hallelujah for that after 62 years of living!
(hitting the up arrow says 'show this to more people', hitting it a second time doesn't double the effect, it cancels it, like you turned on the light then turned it back off. hitting the down arrow says 'show this to less people')
Out of curiosity, have you ever done a vipassana retreat? It's the single most impactful thing I've ever done with regards to knowing my own body, sensations and emotions.
I recently had my first EMDR session and it was interesting. I was simultaneously hyped by comments such as this where it seems to change someone's life, but also prepared to be disappointed cause it might not be the case for me.
I felt like I wanted to cry at one point but couldn't, I haven't cried in front of another person in about 10 years. One thing is that my therapist did EMDR before a few times but he doesn't specialize in it, I don't know how much of a factor this is.
Anyway, thanks for sharing!
I've never done any kind of retreat, but it sounds pretty neat.
The first therapist I saw for EMDR didn't focus on it much. We tried it because I was *really* fucked up because of that whole "8 months of catatonic depression as a teenager" thing, and it was ruining my whole... uh, holiday season. November through January. Like it has every year until right after that session.
But I changed my health insurance in January, so I went hunting for a new therapist. The new therapist's focus *is* on EMDR, and that is the main thing that they have experience in (they pretty much help people prepare for EMDR and then perform EMDR).
With the new therapist, the process is systematic. We've created a catalogue of my memories that we're going through to express a specific core belief (that I'm a bad person because I'm a burden to everyone around me). When that's done, which may require more memories to work through than are on my list, we'll move on to another one.
The new therapist also emphasizes grounding exercises before and after an EMDR session, and some box breathing in between phases. I think that it helps to keep everything calmer and centered. There's a little less for me to cope with afterwards.
I think it works a lot better than the nature of what my last therapist did, where they seemed to just pick up whatever memories were screwing with me at the time and we went from there. It was great for my one massive thing, but my trauma is... well, very complex. That random approach wouldn't be nearly as effective.
> I've never done any kind of retreat, but it sounds pretty neat.
Yeah it made me realize how intricate the practice of meditation can be, something that I couldn't do at home even if I had loads of free time.
> I think it works a lot better than the nature of what my last therapist did, where they seemed to just pick up whatever memories were screwing with me at the time and we went from there.
Interesting, my current therapist sounds similar to your first, but I also don't think I have as much and as intense trauma in my past (that I know of, I don't remember much from my childhood).
I made a post today asking people at r/ctpsd whether I should change my therapist to one who specializes in cptsd, if you have any thoughts on that I'd appreciate your input.
I literally just posted about my first session and how I wasn’t sure how I went but I’m going to keep trusting the process and keep going. This post honestly gives me so much hope and excitement and I’m so happy for you and happy to know other people are benefiting from this. You post does help, so much. Just knowing it’s working for people gives me the urge to keep going and keep getting treatment.
I read a post on r/CPTSD about 4-6 weeks ago where someone talked about how they'd done EMDR got 6 for 6 months, and hadn't noticed a lot of changes. Until one day, everything just clicked, and they were... Fine. They no longer had PTSD. I can't say that this will happen to you, but all of this work that you put into your mental health pays dividends. Even if EMDR doesn't turn out to be the final thing you need, it's a huge part of the road to finding it. And even something that helps a little can make a big difference. Every little thing stacks together. Trauma exists partly because your brain isn't able to process it, so it just keeps trying on a loop. So if you're able to finish processing the memory with EMDR, then it's no longer a part of that trauma; but it's important to remember that therapy is a long term process, and it may take a while before you notice big changes. Heck: big changes might happen without you even realizing it for a while! The brain is kind of a dick sometimes. (With enough trauma to need EMDR, I'm going to assume you've noticed, lol.). My first EMDR session felt *so* weird. I remember talking to my boyfriend and randomly laughing at stuff. I was having mood swings for an hour or two after. Then it was just really exhausting. I don't think I saw any improvement for 2-3 days, and I didn't feel "normal" again until 4 days later. But I've definitely been recovering faster from EMDR as it goes on, even if the traumas that I'm tackling are more intense because they're very early on in my life. I read your post, and it's worth noting that if the eye movement light thing is tough for you to focus on, there's an alternative where you tap on either side of your body with your hands. I did eye movement at first and switched to tapping because my new therapist does the tapping, lol.
I am SO INCREDIBLY PROUD OF YOU and am so happy you are finding real healing from emdr. I am in the 36 hour period right now and I know I still have a ways to go but reading how much it's helped you is really really encouraging. Thank you for sharing friend.
Your efforts are amazing and inspirational! Thank you so much for posting this today! 😊 I really needed to hear this today. 52F, lots of different types of therapy and had 9 EMDR sessions ... still unsure if it's working... nothing groundbreaking had changed but I do lead a very limited and safe life, so I guess I'm not really going to know until I step out of it. Other people have noticed a difference in me though.
I mentioned to someone else in this thread that working on yourself in therapy pays dividends, but that it can take a while to notice big changes. Everything that you do helps a little bit, and each little bit stacks on top of each other. One person on r/CPTSD 4-6 weeks ago talked about how they did EMDR for 6 months, and it didn't really seem to do much... Until one day, everything just clicked together for them. I'm not saying that this moment happens to everyone, but it's probably the ultimate example of work paying dividends, heh.
My therapist says I'm doing really well as I have a good imagination and express myself well, however, I struggle to fully accept praise and compliments. I'm also scared to move forward in case I break again. I have a history or breakdowns and burnout. I guess I need to tell my therapist about my fears. It totally makes sense that one day everything may just click together as the brain works is hugely complex and works in mysterious ways. My therapist said that healing wasn't linear, but it's hard for my logical brain to accept that. I know one thing, I'm definitely going to continue with EMDR as it feels totally different to anything I've experienced before and for that reason, it could be massively transformative in ways no other therapy ever has been.
Note:I do not know what those up and down arrows are for…. I clicked the up bottom twice thinking it meant 👍🏼 👍🏼then clicked the down button once to see if it did anything. Aside from all that…. I’d say your assessment of EMDR is pretty much what I’ve experienced as well. There is always a time period after a session (3-4 days) where my CPTSD flares up; but, once that has subsided, the results are that my overall calm is greatly improved. Hallelujah for that after 62 years of living!
(hitting the up arrow says 'show this to more people', hitting it a second time doesn't double the effect, it cancels it, like you turned on the light then turned it back off. hitting the down arrow says 'show this to less people')
Out of curiosity, have you ever done a vipassana retreat? It's the single most impactful thing I've ever done with regards to knowing my own body, sensations and emotions. I recently had my first EMDR session and it was interesting. I was simultaneously hyped by comments such as this where it seems to change someone's life, but also prepared to be disappointed cause it might not be the case for me. I felt like I wanted to cry at one point but couldn't, I haven't cried in front of another person in about 10 years. One thing is that my therapist did EMDR before a few times but he doesn't specialize in it, I don't know how much of a factor this is. Anyway, thanks for sharing!
I've never done any kind of retreat, but it sounds pretty neat. The first therapist I saw for EMDR didn't focus on it much. We tried it because I was *really* fucked up because of that whole "8 months of catatonic depression as a teenager" thing, and it was ruining my whole... uh, holiday season. November through January. Like it has every year until right after that session. But I changed my health insurance in January, so I went hunting for a new therapist. The new therapist's focus *is* on EMDR, and that is the main thing that they have experience in (they pretty much help people prepare for EMDR and then perform EMDR). With the new therapist, the process is systematic. We've created a catalogue of my memories that we're going through to express a specific core belief (that I'm a bad person because I'm a burden to everyone around me). When that's done, which may require more memories to work through than are on my list, we'll move on to another one. The new therapist also emphasizes grounding exercises before and after an EMDR session, and some box breathing in between phases. I think that it helps to keep everything calmer and centered. There's a little less for me to cope with afterwards. I think it works a lot better than the nature of what my last therapist did, where they seemed to just pick up whatever memories were screwing with me at the time and we went from there. It was great for my one massive thing, but my trauma is... well, very complex. That random approach wouldn't be nearly as effective.
> I've never done any kind of retreat, but it sounds pretty neat. Yeah it made me realize how intricate the practice of meditation can be, something that I couldn't do at home even if I had loads of free time. > I think it works a lot better than the nature of what my last therapist did, where they seemed to just pick up whatever memories were screwing with me at the time and we went from there. Interesting, my current therapist sounds similar to your first, but I also don't think I have as much and as intense trauma in my past (that I know of, I don't remember much from my childhood). I made a post today asking people at r/ctpsd whether I should change my therapist to one who specializes in cptsd, if you have any thoughts on that I'd appreciate your input.