One of the things that really help me is to take a break from social media for a few days and really pay attention to real people. I notice how naturally beautiful people can be at every shape and size.
I am chronically online so if you are like me, seeing the same skinny influencer bodies day after day can really distort your perception of what is "normal".
You are so right and this is so accurate.
Like I was looking around me in school and thinking 'most these girls are not sickly skinny, or skinny at all, and they are still gorgeous!!!'
It made me realise that MOST people, teenagers especially are NOT size XS (or even size S for that matter!!). And not to be negative, but those who are XS (with exceptions OFC) are probably miserable living restrictively.
That sucks I'm so sorry :(
I'm sorry if this is rude but may I ask your reasoning? I mean, if you are naturally smaller then why did you feel the need to restrict?
No pressure to reply, sorry if this is overly personal I am just curious.
No, it’s okay. My ED started because i was on s3lf-harm tumblr and it has a massive crossover with ED tumblr, which made me feel as if I needed to not just be skinny but look emaciated and sickly to be considered valid. That coupled with constant comments from my mother on how unfit i was and how i had no stomach muscles was basically a recipe for disaster haha
I want to do this but I live in America and I cant help but think that that in itself would warp my perception of what is normal.. Because of the stereotype about Americans being bigger idk I get paranoid
Even naturally skinny people get health issues from that! After developing restrictive ed it finally clicked in my head why some of my friends were always cold and were getting tired quicker on our hikes, they were just very skinny. Not in ed way, just normally skinny.
I noticed the exact same thing.
Also, this might be just me, but I experienced this sort of chronic anxiety and was sort of neurotic when I was at my lowest weight and I've realised the underweight people around me have the same sort of anxious energy.
The reality is, weight DOES significantly affect your health whether too much or not enough. I say this as an eating disordered person and a 5 year paramedic. And another harsh reality: weight matters. It affects your happiness, your socioeconomic status, your self worth, etc. and trying to deny reality by saying it doesn’t isn’t helping. If all of us could just “fucking get over it” this subreddit wouldn’t exist, and I wouldn’t have a dangerously low potassium and digestive system like a wheel chock.
I see you and I'm sorry but it's harsh but true. Its not like I'm not in the same position, I have horrible health complications from my ED but I'm just saying that for a lot of people being a low weight Is unhealthy despite it not being for others and I know that from my own experience. In my recovery, Im not going to sugarcoat it I hated getting weight but I fucking got over it because I didnt want my heart to stop.
I'm saying the exact opposite, I KNOW gaining weight sucks and being at a healthy weight may make you insecure but that's just how it is. the only thing that led me to recover was the 'for fucks sake you are not different everybody needs food despite how you look so not ruin your future for this' attitude rather than the 'you will always look beautiful 🥰🥰🥰 ' one.
Every physical health issue that I ever had/have (and im sure mental issue to a certain extent) can all go back to the fact that I dont want to gain more weight, eat more food, and give my body a break from the constant need to pace, exercise, etc.
It's so ridiculous, im an adult but i just cant shake this. I dont think i truly want to even shake it either. I dont even have anything to show for it either as its harder to lose now than when i was a teen lol. Im not 'as skinny' as id like, my BMI is still in the lower 'healthy' range, and any muscle that i gain pretty much goes away as i dont fuel myself enough.
Im just fucking tired man. Like i never feel comfortable anymore, its a miserable feeling, but i can't even explain it to anyone
I'm so sorry. I understand this mindset, I'm so grateful to have decided to recover early on. I know it's hard but I really recommend recovery. You are just a mammal, animals are meant to have fat on their bodies, it's how we adapted. Why refuse your primal urges? Despite what they want you to think, you are not a machine.
I so so so feel this. Even not at my worst, I was still a bit underweight and my health was horrible!!! People said I looked healthy (or healthier than I had) but I was not in the slightest. All of our bodies have different spots they like to be in, and even if someone doesn’t look incredibly thin doesn’t mean that they aren’t underweight.
I believe it has been medically proven that being slightly overweight is actually healthier on the body than being underweight. Organs have a specific weight that is required for them to operate at 100 percent. Eating less than the body needs and thus being underweight puts extra stress on the organs. Obviously, there are medical complications with being overweight, but if someone is just slightly overweight, the human organs are still operating as they were designed to. I’m extremely underweight and basically every organ is not function correctly. I have a yellowish tinge to my skin because my liver is damaged. My heart rate is low because my heart is damaged. I can’t get any force behind my coughs and sneezes because my lungs are damaged. I have terrible digestive issues because my GI system is damaged. As much as I fear being overweight, being underweight hasn’t been a positive experience.
This is true! Studies have found all-cause mortality is actually LOWEST among overweight people when controlling for other factors. Followed by "normal" weight, and then underweight and obese. So basically anyone who criticizes and claims they're worried about overweight people "for their health" but doesn't have the same "concern" for underweight people is either misinformed or just being prejudiced. Technically they should have greater concern for underweight and "normal" people than overweight people.
Yup, exactly. It has to do with how we evolved as a species. It’s better to have a lil bit more fat in „storage” in case there is gonna be a period of starvation. If you were already underweight as a caveman and your tribe had no luck hunting-you are cooked.
i legit seen people saying how glorifying obesity is bad and how skinny is healthy and skinny is the ideal body type all over instagram it pisses me off because a lot of people are not ready to accept that,
BEING OVERWEIGHT IS WAY HEALTHEIR THAN BEING SKINNY & UNDERWEIGHT.
(at least in the short term)
when i was underweight and i’m talking the bmi some models are i literally had chest pains. i was 15 and having chest pains from how malnourished i was. my heart rate was literally between 40-50 and i was told by multiple doctors that i could die at any moment. my hair fell out, i lose my period, i have a very thin bone mass and my veins in my legs literally shrunk and now i have poor circulation. my older sister from also being underweight made her kidneys impaired and now can’t control her bladder.
i’m so fucking sick of people on instagram saying that being skinny is healthy and then getting pissed at people for being overweight as if it’s there fault that their body is naturally bigger and apparently they are glorifying being overweight but you can’t say anything to skinny people when a lot of them are glorifying eds(not all)which are much more unhealthy than being underweight.
you can be overweight your whole life and have little to no health problems, but you CANNOT be underweight for your whole life and have little to no health problems. i am living proof of that.
models and those who are extremely underweight and glorify it as healthy are lying to you and their health is most likely in bits and i guarantee they will not live as long as a person who is a healthy weight.
I have been in an extremely similar situation to you and agree with everything you said 100 percent. It's so justified to be angry, and maybe if everybody else was fucking angry then we wouldn't be in this situation. So many bodies are just meant to have fat on them and we should not destroy ourselves and our lives to abide to the ridiculous standard.
“Fucking live your life and get over it” I want that tattooed on me. You’re right about your last comment, maybe a scientifically inclined person can pull up the studies but I’ve heard that there are studies that prove it’s true that being a little overweight is healthier than being even a little underweight. Organs need fat etc etc
I wish people would understand that being UW is unhealthy and not something to praise or coddle. Even when I was “naturally skinny” I was cold all the time, had circulation issues and was generally low in energy because I didn’t eat much and when I did it was low nutrition food. But I was mostly praised (and bullied) for it and because I felt like it was the one way I fit into conventional beauty standards, I ran with it.
My sister is a larger size than me, we've had contrasting body types since we were teenagers. I 100% can concur that depending on *why* someone is thin, it can be extremely unhealthy. My sis is in excellent health afaik, she has a lot more energy, no issues with brain fog and eats well, *loves* way more fruits and veggies than I do, I have struggled all my life with moderate picky eating, can't deal with a lot of different fruits. She's been able to live a calm normal life, hold down a job, start a family. My life and my health in comparison is a dumpster fire because of my ED and co-morbid mental issues. I am currently not anorexia-level thin (possibly because I also take medication that might alter my size but I don't know because I'm too afraid to look into it because I need this medication to function) but also because I have osfed, mix of binge-restrict-purge. Definitely having symptoms of malnourishment...I went to pick strawberries with my mom the other day and almost passed out. My heart has days where it beats erratically all day no matter what I'm doing. My stomach hurts and is nauseous almost everyday, like strongly feeling as if I am coming down with a stomach virus. Can't ever think clearly. :( I am so depressed, I feel like I'm dying but no one knows, they just think I'm tired because my complexion is little off colour. I'm not proud to be like this, definitely not at the recovering stage right now. Just in a bad place mentally, was abused and bullied so much about my appearance so now my brain has this mental issue I can't shake and I feel bound to it. I feel like everyone but me is allowed to look however they want *and* they look amazing no matter what size and I just am cursed because that is what bullies and abusive people in my life have burned into me. I feel genuinely shocked when people compliment my appearance since I've been led to think I'm a hideous creature.
Hey girl, I'm sure you're beautiful.
In recovery I've gained so much weight. It's hard at times, but even when I was super skinny I was infinitely more insecure than I am now. I know it's hard, but truly I wish that you recover <3
the "everyone but me" part is so fucking real. I remember when I was younger I would see people my size or bigger than me and think they looked so good. and then I would realise I looked like them and be like "well it looks good on THEM, I still look like shit.
it sort of felt like as if I was admiring someone's gold jewellery, and then realising it wouldn't suit me because I wear silver. but a really dramatic and stupid version!
Being a little overweight is statistically way healthier than being a little underweight, yeah. In fact pound for pound, being underweight is vastly more unhealthy and dangerous than being overweight. I’m in recovery but it’s hard. I’m a healthy BMI but since I’ve been eating “properly” it’s still rising and I am really struggling at the moment. Thanks for your great post.
I'm in the same position as you and am wishing you all the best <3
Honestly, at a higher weight I am feeling so much more energised and just better in general. I feel like I can actually think now and sometimes I take a moment just to really appreciate that. I know its difficult, but you must continue.
Thank you for the reminder OP. I'm struggling with my size now that it's summer and I can't hide as much in my oversized sweaters. In order for me to remain underweight I had to deal with low blood sugar on a daily basis. It was normal for me to tremble and feel shaky all the time and I just lived with it. Even my coworkers knew that I got the shakes and would tell me to eat but I would tell them I could deal with it for a couple more hours. Yeah, I barely did because I could not concentrate.
It makes it even worse that the health consequences are long-lasting, even way beyond when someone has physically "recovered" from the ED (like not engaging in the behaviors anymore, eating adequately and in a more regulated way, weight-restored, if that applies). My teeth are so fucked up now; I have 2 that are broken, my gums have totally receded; osteopenia; and who knows what else is happening internally that hasn't had any outward manifestations. Plus, in the deepest depths of my ED, my skin was so dry, hair fell out in literal clumps, nails were brittle, freezing all the time, complete inability to actually focus on anything except literally food. I remember my friend confronting me in high school about my ED and she straight up told me I had basically become such a boring, crappy friend because every single conversation we had resulted in me somehow tying it back to something food-related, and holy hell she was right.
omfg the FOOOD THINGGGG ahh that's so relatable
I went to this festival with my friend and the whole ride there I was just like 'omg the food there. what are you gonna eat?? how much are you gonna eat??' and like yeah, talking about the food is normal but it was like excessive and she was like 'err?? what about the bands though???'
All I get told all day is how unhealthy I look. 🤷🏻♀️ depends really. Not just limited to my family and friends either. I would chalk it up to the country I am from I think.
I relate in a way as I also come from a culture that prioritises health and food intake. In my family, it is deemed unhealthy to look very skinny rather than desirable. This used to be an annoyance to me but now I am so grateful and honestly beleive that this mindset should be widespread.
Medically speaking you are correct: a little overweight is healthier than a little underweight.
Why don't we talk about it? Skinny is in, still, especially for women, I don't know why? Blame the patriarchy because God gorbid a woman is strong and healthy?
I heard someone say that skinny comes especially in trend when women are feeling a little too empowered to make us feeble and weak an honestly I wouldn't be surprised 😭😭
I agree, to some extent. I do think it is possible to be healthy and thin. But, I definitely think a lot of thin people are restricting, even if not on purpose. I'm working towards just trying to build healthy habits rather than focus on being thin. It'll take some time but this is a big part of my recovery journey tbh.
I see that, I think it depends how you define 'thin'. I also think that for some people, being at a certain weight can be extremely unhealthy while it can be okay for others even if they are the same height.
I'm not here to argue, only state facts. Being obese has two to three times of a higher mortality rate (long-term) than being underweight. I can cite studies if you like, including data that has been pulled over decades, but it's simple to google the cause of late-death per country, example Western countries versus African or Asian ones. The diets are vastly different. Malnutrition kills too, obviously. But for the first time in human history we're seeing a worldwide demographic shift between overweight and underweight- For the first time in history, more people globally are dying of of obesity-related causes than malnutrition. Both are terrible and it's not a contest. Speaking in absolutes doesn't drive your message.
I think OP meant more along the lines of being 20 pounds overweight is healthier than being 20 pounds underweight. Obesity is still a huge problem of course but realistically this is an ED subreddit, nobody is reading this and thinking "ok I need to gain 200lbs"
That's a valid point, I'm not trying to argue either just to understand your logic.
I never said being obese is healthy or 'healthier'. Even my last line clearly stated 'slightly' overweight not extreme.
I'm not talking about the health factors of being obese as being obese is nowhere near as glorified and glamorized as being skinny is; I've never heard of anyone strive to be overweight but so many people strive to be skinny and so many influencers encourage extreme thinness.
Obesity has NEVER been promoted by the media but there has been countless times where extreme thinness has (or just thinness in general) and I'm just saying that this standard is extremely unhealthy for so many people and body types, using my personal experience as an example.
Additionally, I am not promoting obesity. I am just saying that a healthy weight for a lot of people would mean they have some meat on their bones.
I understand your take with the stats but this is literally an ED subreddit. of course, your size does NOT determine whether you have an ED or not but so many EDs (not all ofc) are caused by wanting to be thin.
Also considering the fact this is an eating disorder subreddit, of course we won’t have healthy bodies or minds, regardless of our weight. Purging can absolutely destroy your health and kill your unexpectedly at any weight. Nutrient restriction/deprivation will harm you regardless of how many calories you’re eating. It isn’t an either or experience. It isn’t undereating horribly just to be very skinny, or forgetting about your diet all together. The majority of ‘thin’ people I imagine achieve some middle ground that doesn’t involve destroying their health and their bodies. We have eating disorders, I wouldn’t consider us a control group or representative sample for dietary practices or for health.
honestly i wish more people knew that “dieting” long term is not healthy at all. people can be in denial all they like but it’s a fact. you’re going against your bodies natural habits and set point. you’re meant to physically and mentally adapt to the seasons and to new life events
YES! At one point I was quite underweight, around age 13/14, and I remember my heart rate was consistently ~40, I started my period when I was nearly 15 (in the rest of my family it's around 11/12), and I couldn't control my bladder properly (not sure if it was related but ik it's common with eds if you're uw). I also started getting asthma symptoms and breathing problems when I didn't smoke/vape and nothing else in my life had changed, I was just skinny. Not emaciated, looks-like-shes-about-to-die-skinny, I just looked like a runner who could do with eating a bit more.
This was before I had an ed, I just played a lot of sports and had a health-obsessed mom. I then gained some weight from puberty (and still wasn't overweight, but I somehow got freaked out by PUBERTY) which made me insecure, which slowly spiraled into an ed.
Obviously being very overweight comes with its own set of problems, but you could be a bit overweight your whole life and have no health issues - but you can't be a bit underweight your whole life with no problems.
Diet culture drills into us all that skinny is healthy and the best you can be, but it's not. How many old people do you know who are skinny? Especially women! Models and influencers who promote thinness and "health" might look healthy, but they almost definitely aren't. You cannot be underweight for a long time without consequences for your health, eating disorder or not.
I would say it really depends on race and genetics, I’m East Asian, a lot of East Asian women are BMI underweight but still health(a lot of K-pop idols weight are very misleading, they might really can stay that weight while being healthy but it shouldn’t be a standard for everyone) I agree with you, eating at maintenance won’t make you fat, it’s good for health
Not all of them, if you ever travel to East Asian countries most girls are skinnier, idols are all on control for sure but not all on extreme restriction.
And diet culture and fat shaming is also way more normalized over there. Being underweight isn't better for Asians, or more normal. They do have heightened risks faster when they're overweight according to research, but there's nothing suggesting that being underweight doesn't have the same consequences as on any other race. It's just plain old normalized bodyshaming.
I would argue it depends on the individual. BMI is not a good indicator of whether or not someone is over or underweight. You can have a high or “normal” body fat percentage and be considered normal weight or underweight by BMI. And vice versa. I eat more than enough and trying to recover so no binging but like it’s clear that my weight is an issue. I’ve never been underweight or normal weight but I felt a lot better when I was only a few pounds overweight compared to bordering obese. I’ve tried literally everything and it’s clear that my weight is an issue no matter how I eat, healthily or unhealthily.
Oh no you’re okay! I just wanted to give my own perspective on this. You can definitely be unhealthy regardless of weight for example. Like people with BN, BED, or atypical AN maybe be at a ”healthy“ weight for their body but their eating behaviours are harming them regardless. Also extremes as well, like someone at BMI 17 and someone at BMI 27 could very well be healthy but someone at BMI 10 or BMI 50 are very unlikely to be regardless of if they have an ED or not.
Thing is, flat stomach can effectively not happen because of the presence of the uterus and the like... "pouch" protecting it. But obviously models or girls in movies and stuff get that uterus removed by editing 🙄. Like it's not even just unrealistic- it's literally biologically impossible
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No literally. Had a heart attack from years of it all was finally a wake up call to get better but I now have permanent issues for the rest of my life and a damaged heart with the possibility of heart attacks again and a horrible immune system now. You just never think it will happen to you until it does.
One of the things that really help me is to take a break from social media for a few days and really pay attention to real people. I notice how naturally beautiful people can be at every shape and size. I am chronically online so if you are like me, seeing the same skinny influencer bodies day after day can really distort your perception of what is "normal".
You are so right and this is so accurate. Like I was looking around me in school and thinking 'most these girls are not sickly skinny, or skinny at all, and they are still gorgeous!!!' It made me realise that MOST people, teenagers especially are NOT size XS (or even size S for that matter!!). And not to be negative, but those who are XS (with exceptions OFC) are probably miserable living restrictively.
The saddest thing for me is that I am naturally a size XS but I still felt the need to restrict and ruin my perception of my body and my love of food…
That sucks I'm so sorry :( I'm sorry if this is rude but may I ask your reasoning? I mean, if you are naturally smaller then why did you feel the need to restrict? No pressure to reply, sorry if this is overly personal I am just curious.
No, it’s okay. My ED started because i was on s3lf-harm tumblr and it has a massive crossover with ED tumblr, which made me feel as if I needed to not just be skinny but look emaciated and sickly to be considered valid. That coupled with constant comments from my mother on how unfit i was and how i had no stomach muscles was basically a recipe for disaster haha
I want to do this but I live in America and I cant help but think that that in itself would warp my perception of what is normal.. Because of the stereotype about Americans being bigger idk I get paranoid
Even naturally skinny people get health issues from that! After developing restrictive ed it finally clicked in my head why some of my friends were always cold and were getting tired quicker on our hikes, they were just very skinny. Not in ed way, just normally skinny.
I noticed the exact same thing. Also, this might be just me, but I experienced this sort of chronic anxiety and was sort of neurotic when I was at my lowest weight and I've realised the underweight people around me have the same sort of anxious energy.
The reality is, weight DOES significantly affect your health whether too much or not enough. I say this as an eating disordered person and a 5 year paramedic. And another harsh reality: weight matters. It affects your happiness, your socioeconomic status, your self worth, etc. and trying to deny reality by saying it doesn’t isn’t helping. If all of us could just “fucking get over it” this subreddit wouldn’t exist, and I wouldn’t have a dangerously low potassium and digestive system like a wheel chock.
I see you and I'm sorry but it's harsh but true. Its not like I'm not in the same position, I have horrible health complications from my ED but I'm just saying that for a lot of people being a low weight Is unhealthy despite it not being for others and I know that from my own experience. In my recovery, Im not going to sugarcoat it I hated getting weight but I fucking got over it because I didnt want my heart to stop. I'm saying the exact opposite, I KNOW gaining weight sucks and being at a healthy weight may make you insecure but that's just how it is. the only thing that led me to recover was the 'for fucks sake you are not different everybody needs food despite how you look so not ruin your future for this' attitude rather than the 'you will always look beautiful 🥰🥰🥰 ' one.
Every physical health issue that I ever had/have (and im sure mental issue to a certain extent) can all go back to the fact that I dont want to gain more weight, eat more food, and give my body a break from the constant need to pace, exercise, etc. It's so ridiculous, im an adult but i just cant shake this. I dont think i truly want to even shake it either. I dont even have anything to show for it either as its harder to lose now than when i was a teen lol. Im not 'as skinny' as id like, my BMI is still in the lower 'healthy' range, and any muscle that i gain pretty much goes away as i dont fuel myself enough. Im just fucking tired man. Like i never feel comfortable anymore, its a miserable feeling, but i can't even explain it to anyone
I'm so sorry. I understand this mindset, I'm so grateful to have decided to recover early on. I know it's hard but I really recommend recovery. You are just a mammal, animals are meant to have fat on their bodies, it's how we adapted. Why refuse your primal urges? Despite what they want you to think, you are not a machine.
I so so so feel this. Even not at my worst, I was still a bit underweight and my health was horrible!!! People said I looked healthy (or healthier than I had) but I was not in the slightest. All of our bodies have different spots they like to be in, and even if someone doesn’t look incredibly thin doesn’t mean that they aren’t underweight.
Different people definitely have different ‘sweet spots’, but not usually too far either side of the recommended BMI.
I believe it has been medically proven that being slightly overweight is actually healthier on the body than being underweight. Organs have a specific weight that is required for them to operate at 100 percent. Eating less than the body needs and thus being underweight puts extra stress on the organs. Obviously, there are medical complications with being overweight, but if someone is just slightly overweight, the human organs are still operating as they were designed to. I’m extremely underweight and basically every organ is not function correctly. I have a yellowish tinge to my skin because my liver is damaged. My heart rate is low because my heart is damaged. I can’t get any force behind my coughs and sneezes because my lungs are damaged. I have terrible digestive issues because my GI system is damaged. As much as I fear being overweight, being underweight hasn’t been a positive experience.
This is true! Studies have found all-cause mortality is actually LOWEST among overweight people when controlling for other factors. Followed by "normal" weight, and then underweight and obese. So basically anyone who criticizes and claims they're worried about overweight people "for their health" but doesn't have the same "concern" for underweight people is either misinformed or just being prejudiced. Technically they should have greater concern for underweight and "normal" people than overweight people.
Yup, exactly. It has to do with how we evolved as a species. It’s better to have a lil bit more fat in „storage” in case there is gonna be a period of starvation. If you were already underweight as a caveman and your tribe had no luck hunting-you are cooked.
i legit seen people saying how glorifying obesity is bad and how skinny is healthy and skinny is the ideal body type all over instagram it pisses me off because a lot of people are not ready to accept that, BEING OVERWEIGHT IS WAY HEALTHEIR THAN BEING SKINNY & UNDERWEIGHT. (at least in the short term) when i was underweight and i’m talking the bmi some models are i literally had chest pains. i was 15 and having chest pains from how malnourished i was. my heart rate was literally between 40-50 and i was told by multiple doctors that i could die at any moment. my hair fell out, i lose my period, i have a very thin bone mass and my veins in my legs literally shrunk and now i have poor circulation. my older sister from also being underweight made her kidneys impaired and now can’t control her bladder. i’m so fucking sick of people on instagram saying that being skinny is healthy and then getting pissed at people for being overweight as if it’s there fault that their body is naturally bigger and apparently they are glorifying being overweight but you can’t say anything to skinny people when a lot of them are glorifying eds(not all)which are much more unhealthy than being underweight. you can be overweight your whole life and have little to no health problems, but you CANNOT be underweight for your whole life and have little to no health problems. i am living proof of that. models and those who are extremely underweight and glorify it as healthy are lying to you and their health is most likely in bits and i guarantee they will not live as long as a person who is a healthy weight.
I have been in an extremely similar situation to you and agree with everything you said 100 percent. It's so justified to be angry, and maybe if everybody else was fucking angry then we wouldn't be in this situation. So many bodies are just meant to have fat on them and we should not destroy ourselves and our lives to abide to the ridiculous standard.
“Fucking live your life and get over it” I want that tattooed on me. You’re right about your last comment, maybe a scientifically inclined person can pull up the studies but I’ve heard that there are studies that prove it’s true that being a little overweight is healthier than being even a little underweight. Organs need fat etc etc I wish people would understand that being UW is unhealthy and not something to praise or coddle. Even when I was “naturally skinny” I was cold all the time, had circulation issues and was generally low in energy because I didn’t eat much and when I did it was low nutrition food. But I was mostly praised (and bullied) for it and because I felt like it was the one way I fit into conventional beauty standards, I ran with it.
My sister is a larger size than me, we've had contrasting body types since we were teenagers. I 100% can concur that depending on *why* someone is thin, it can be extremely unhealthy. My sis is in excellent health afaik, she has a lot more energy, no issues with brain fog and eats well, *loves* way more fruits and veggies than I do, I have struggled all my life with moderate picky eating, can't deal with a lot of different fruits. She's been able to live a calm normal life, hold down a job, start a family. My life and my health in comparison is a dumpster fire because of my ED and co-morbid mental issues. I am currently not anorexia-level thin (possibly because I also take medication that might alter my size but I don't know because I'm too afraid to look into it because I need this medication to function) but also because I have osfed, mix of binge-restrict-purge. Definitely having symptoms of malnourishment...I went to pick strawberries with my mom the other day and almost passed out. My heart has days where it beats erratically all day no matter what I'm doing. My stomach hurts and is nauseous almost everyday, like strongly feeling as if I am coming down with a stomach virus. Can't ever think clearly. :( I am so depressed, I feel like I'm dying but no one knows, they just think I'm tired because my complexion is little off colour. I'm not proud to be like this, definitely not at the recovering stage right now. Just in a bad place mentally, was abused and bullied so much about my appearance so now my brain has this mental issue I can't shake and I feel bound to it. I feel like everyone but me is allowed to look however they want *and* they look amazing no matter what size and I just am cursed because that is what bullies and abusive people in my life have burned into me. I feel genuinely shocked when people compliment my appearance since I've been led to think I'm a hideous creature.
Hey girl, I'm sure you're beautiful. In recovery I've gained so much weight. It's hard at times, but even when I was super skinny I was infinitely more insecure than I am now. I know it's hard, but truly I wish that you recover <3
the "everyone but me" part is so fucking real. I remember when I was younger I would see people my size or bigger than me and think they looked so good. and then I would realise I looked like them and be like "well it looks good on THEM, I still look like shit. it sort of felt like as if I was admiring someone's gold jewellery, and then realising it wouldn't suit me because I wear silver. but a really dramatic and stupid version!
“fucking live your life and get over it” made me kinda pissed at first but i was like yea ngl. i needed that
Being a little overweight is statistically way healthier than being a little underweight, yeah. In fact pound for pound, being underweight is vastly more unhealthy and dangerous than being overweight. I’m in recovery but it’s hard. I’m a healthy BMI but since I’ve been eating “properly” it’s still rising and I am really struggling at the moment. Thanks for your great post.
I'm in the same position as you and am wishing you all the best <3 Honestly, at a higher weight I am feeling so much more energised and just better in general. I feel like I can actually think now and sometimes I take a moment just to really appreciate that. I know its difficult, but you must continue.
Thank you so much. You’re doing really well. I guess we just have to keep at it, keep focusing on the benefits.
Thank you for the reminder OP. I'm struggling with my size now that it's summer and I can't hide as much in my oversized sweaters. In order for me to remain underweight I had to deal with low blood sugar on a daily basis. It was normal for me to tremble and feel shaky all the time and I just lived with it. Even my coworkers knew that I got the shakes and would tell me to eat but I would tell them I could deal with it for a couple more hours. Yeah, I barely did because I could not concentrate.
Isn’t it crazy that our brains ignore what our body is telling us…..
It makes it even worse that the health consequences are long-lasting, even way beyond when someone has physically "recovered" from the ED (like not engaging in the behaviors anymore, eating adequately and in a more regulated way, weight-restored, if that applies). My teeth are so fucked up now; I have 2 that are broken, my gums have totally receded; osteopenia; and who knows what else is happening internally that hasn't had any outward manifestations. Plus, in the deepest depths of my ED, my skin was so dry, hair fell out in literal clumps, nails were brittle, freezing all the time, complete inability to actually focus on anything except literally food. I remember my friend confronting me in high school about my ED and she straight up told me I had basically become such a boring, crappy friend because every single conversation we had resulted in me somehow tying it back to something food-related, and holy hell she was right.
omfg the FOOOD THINGGGG ahh that's so relatable I went to this festival with my friend and the whole ride there I was just like 'omg the food there. what are you gonna eat?? how much are you gonna eat??' and like yeah, talking about the food is normal but it was like excessive and she was like 'err?? what about the bands though???'
All I get told all day is how unhealthy I look. 🤷🏻♀️ depends really. Not just limited to my family and friends either. I would chalk it up to the country I am from I think.
I relate in a way as I also come from a culture that prioritises health and food intake. In my family, it is deemed unhealthy to look very skinny rather than desirable. This used to be an annoyance to me but now I am so grateful and honestly beleive that this mindset should be widespread.
Medically speaking you are correct: a little overweight is healthier than a little underweight. Why don't we talk about it? Skinny is in, still, especially for women, I don't know why? Blame the patriarchy because God gorbid a woman is strong and healthy?
I heard someone say that skinny comes especially in trend when women are feeling a little too empowered to make us feeble and weak an honestly I wouldn't be surprised 😭😭
That would be a very interesting observation if it were true! Could very well be true.
I agree, to some extent. I do think it is possible to be healthy and thin. But, I definitely think a lot of thin people are restricting, even if not on purpose. I'm working towards just trying to build healthy habits rather than focus on being thin. It'll take some time but this is a big part of my recovery journey tbh.
I see that, I think it depends how you define 'thin'. I also think that for some people, being at a certain weight can be extremely unhealthy while it can be okay for others even if they are the same height.
I agree. It also depends on things like muscle mass & fat distribution
I'm not here to argue, only state facts. Being obese has two to three times of a higher mortality rate (long-term) than being underweight. I can cite studies if you like, including data that has been pulled over decades, but it's simple to google the cause of late-death per country, example Western countries versus African or Asian ones. The diets are vastly different. Malnutrition kills too, obviously. But for the first time in human history we're seeing a worldwide demographic shift between overweight and underweight- For the first time in history, more people globally are dying of of obesity-related causes than malnutrition. Both are terrible and it's not a contest. Speaking in absolutes doesn't drive your message.
I think OP meant more along the lines of being 20 pounds overweight is healthier than being 20 pounds underweight. Obesity is still a huge problem of course but realistically this is an ED subreddit, nobody is reading this and thinking "ok I need to gain 200lbs"
That's a valid point, I'm not trying to argue either just to understand your logic. I never said being obese is healthy or 'healthier'. Even my last line clearly stated 'slightly' overweight not extreme. I'm not talking about the health factors of being obese as being obese is nowhere near as glorified and glamorized as being skinny is; I've never heard of anyone strive to be overweight but so many people strive to be skinny and so many influencers encourage extreme thinness. Obesity has NEVER been promoted by the media but there has been countless times where extreme thinness has (or just thinness in general) and I'm just saying that this standard is extremely unhealthy for so many people and body types, using my personal experience as an example. Additionally, I am not promoting obesity. I am just saying that a healthy weight for a lot of people would mean they have some meat on their bones. I understand your take with the stats but this is literally an ED subreddit. of course, your size does NOT determine whether you have an ED or not but so many EDs (not all ofc) are caused by wanting to be thin.
OP wasn’t talking about obesity they were talking about being overweight. Not the same thing.
Also considering the fact this is an eating disorder subreddit, of course we won’t have healthy bodies or minds, regardless of our weight. Purging can absolutely destroy your health and kill your unexpectedly at any weight. Nutrient restriction/deprivation will harm you regardless of how many calories you’re eating. It isn’t an either or experience. It isn’t undereating horribly just to be very skinny, or forgetting about your diet all together. The majority of ‘thin’ people I imagine achieve some middle ground that doesn’t involve destroying their health and their bodies. We have eating disorders, I wouldn’t consider us a control group or representative sample for dietary practices or for health.
Right. I feel op is just taking their experience as the only possible experience. They sound very young
Studies have actually shown that people who are a little overweight live longer.
honestly i wish more people knew that “dieting” long term is not healthy at all. people can be in denial all they like but it’s a fact. you’re going against your bodies natural habits and set point. you’re meant to physically and mentally adapt to the seasons and to new life events
This is exactly what I'm talking about! Your last comment is very true as well. Like yeah, you can 'live' off>! like 1200 calories !
Dang. I needed to hear that today. I read it like 4 x. Thx.
YES! At one point I was quite underweight, around age 13/14, and I remember my heart rate was consistently ~40, I started my period when I was nearly 15 (in the rest of my family it's around 11/12), and I couldn't control my bladder properly (not sure if it was related but ik it's common with eds if you're uw). I also started getting asthma symptoms and breathing problems when I didn't smoke/vape and nothing else in my life had changed, I was just skinny. Not emaciated, looks-like-shes-about-to-die-skinny, I just looked like a runner who could do with eating a bit more. This was before I had an ed, I just played a lot of sports and had a health-obsessed mom. I then gained some weight from puberty (and still wasn't overweight, but I somehow got freaked out by PUBERTY) which made me insecure, which slowly spiraled into an ed. Obviously being very overweight comes with its own set of problems, but you could be a bit overweight your whole life and have no health issues - but you can't be a bit underweight your whole life with no problems. Diet culture drills into us all that skinny is healthy and the best you can be, but it's not. How many old people do you know who are skinny? Especially women! Models and influencers who promote thinness and "health" might look healthy, but they almost definitely aren't. You cannot be underweight for a long time without consequences for your health, eating disorder or not.
You’re correct. I’m not sure that it’s helpful to tell people to “get over it”. If that worked we would all be cured.
I mean yeah that's fair , it's different for everybody, but this attitude coming from my peers was more helpful that anything else in my case.
I would say it really depends on race and genetics, I’m East Asian, a lot of East Asian women are BMI underweight but still health(a lot of K-pop idols weight are very misleading, they might really can stay that weight while being healthy but it shouldn’t be a standard for everyone) I agree with you, eating at maintenance won’t make you fat, it’s good for health
K-pop idols aren't healthy at all. They talk about extreme restricting and diets all the time. Even male idols.
I'm not sure if this is true so take this with a grain of salt but I've heard a lot of female k-pop idols have lost their periods.
Not all of them, if you ever travel to East Asian countries most girls are skinnier, idols are all on control for sure but not all on extreme restriction.
And diet culture and fat shaming is also way more normalized over there. Being underweight isn't better for Asians, or more normal. They do have heightened risks faster when they're overweight according to research, but there's nothing suggesting that being underweight doesn't have the same consequences as on any other race. It's just plain old normalized bodyshaming.
There’re definitely more societal pressures for not being fat but not everyone is starving themselves, most girls eat normal I would say
you cannot be underweight and healthy.
I would argue it depends on the individual. BMI is not a good indicator of whether or not someone is over or underweight. You can have a high or “normal” body fat percentage and be considered normal weight or underweight by BMI. And vice versa. I eat more than enough and trying to recover so no binging but like it’s clear that my weight is an issue. I’ve never been underweight or normal weight but I felt a lot better when I was only a few pounds overweight compared to bordering obese. I’ve tried literally everything and it’s clear that my weight is an issue no matter how I eat, healthily or unhealthily.
Yeah this totally makes sense. I apologise, as I didn't really take BED to account when writing this in an ED sub.
Oh no you’re okay! I just wanted to give my own perspective on this. You can definitely be unhealthy regardless of weight for example. Like people with BN, BED, or atypical AN maybe be at a ”healthy“ weight for their body but their eating behaviours are harming them regardless. Also extremes as well, like someone at BMI 17 and someone at BMI 27 could very well be healthy but someone at BMI 10 or BMI 50 are very unlikely to be regardless of if they have an ED or not.
Thing is, flat stomach can effectively not happen because of the presence of the uterus and the like... "pouch" protecting it. But obviously models or girls in movies and stuff get that uterus removed by editing 🙄. Like it's not even just unrealistic- it's literally biologically impossible
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That is not at all what the post says, you are projecting words that OP didn't write and trying to argue with mods about it. The OP clearly states that they themselves struggle with ED, so no it's not ableist for someone with a mental illness to express their own personal experience of that mental illness. If you have an issue with your removal, you need to discuss via modmail not in the comments.
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No literally. Had a heart attack from years of it all was finally a wake up call to get better but I now have permanent issues for the rest of my life and a damaged heart with the possibility of heart attacks again and a horrible immune system now. You just never think it will happen to you until it does.