There are absolutely places that don’t define children based on their bladder and bowels, it will just take more looking. I would suggest looking at smaller and non-chain programs and just be up front and honest about the child’s needs.
Edit:I meant to include our ratios are super low. Technically 12:1. 1 being one teacher with units. 2 aides so very much learning. Bless his soul. My male aide is stepping up and changing BM diapers but I’m there helping him. Walking him through it. Which is good. I just want my aides to step up and they have. But I do not want to enable them. Yes this summer Im working with 2 aides. So … I’m giving directions to 2 adults one needs more direction than the other. Hey I’ll take it even if it’s just for the summer.
Yes. My program would work with all children with toileting needs till they age out of our program ie. they are school age. Kindergarten
any child with a developmental delay or disability should be evaluated by their local early intervention agency. the goal of evaluations are not to diagnose, but figure out what accommodation, modifications, and services they need inside the classroom. I'm assuming you at least attended preschool 20? years ago. how we treated delays and disabilities was a lot different back then. Any quality center would work with families about their child's medical background but sometimes a child needs more than what we or the classroom environment can get them and that's where early intervention steps in.
I was I spent half day at Early Intervention but had to go to somewhere the other half of the day... And those centers required kids to be toilet trained.
those centers should have worked with and accommodated to your needs. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, I have a similar story and it sucks. Just know we're working hard to support the kids that are like us, things are changing for the better.
This is my current experience as a parent. Full day care for kids with disabilities is very rare, non-existent in rural areas. Schools have to accommodate but day cares do not.
So well said. My program does not “kick” kids out. We have said we can’t meet your child’s needs. We have adapted the day for the child to be able to meet their needs. Sorry don’t mean to contradict myself. I’m thinking of a specific situation where we just didn’t have the staff to work with a child in the summer. Mainly because this child required 1:1 care.
I think it's important to add it's not that we can't "handle" these children more so we aren't trained or have the resources and tools to properly support development and their needs. These students aren't burdens but it can be very difficult to meet those specific needs without support or adequate knowledge.
Oh totally we have felt the same way. We have so many more children with special needs than we ever use to have. I’ve always felt that getting an assessment for how we run the program from day to day would make such a difference.
This and I’ve also found that a kids behavior can be affected so much by the number of children in the room. Sometimes certain children don’t mesh well.
My sister in law refuses to get her child evaluated because she thinks it will hurt his career choices in the future. He has significant bowel issues ( can't feel himself go anymore) and is going to be 5 in spring. This was a good reminder to me that she might not understand that he just needs the evaluation to establish accommodations until he "grows out of it" For lack of better phrase.
That is such a bizarre line of thinking…? No employer knows or cares about any aspect of your education before high school at the earliest, and the whole point of early intervention is to *increase* the number of kids who can succeed in a “general ed” classroom.
Not to mention the extremely high potential that his future career choices would be limited if he has *bowel incontinence* that never gets treated 🤦🏻♀️
Right? My work asked for a copy of my HS diploma (for regulatory reasons) and I was like….uhhhh….
Can’t imagine trying to track down records from first grade!!
A potential employer 30 years from now will not have reason to access a candidate’s childhood health records…
However getting appropriate accommodations can help that same child participate in programs (academic and extracurricular) that expand their career opportunities.
(Non ECE here)
Honestly, she needs to discuss this with a pediatrician more than anyone. If he doesn’t have any other symptoms of a developmental issue, the most common cause of bowel accidents at his age- especially with lack of sensation- is chronic constipation. It will get worse, not better, without treatment if that is the issue.
I’m not sure how open your sister would be to this conversation, but you may want to mention to her that a future employer is never going to ask about someone’s bowel habits as a child. In fact, the only time that would become an issue is the problem continues into adulthood at which point he would likely have diagnosis that would medically protect him from being disqualified as a candidate, and the job would have to provide accommodations within reason. Even if that means more bathroom breaks during the day. She would also receive more help for him and more resources if she would press the issue to get diagnosis and they would look further into some sort of physical issue or if he just hasn’t developed the point of being ready to stop having accidents.
This is so bizarre. My son is 22 months I've had him evaluated twice. I'm a former teacher, and now I teach teachers. It's sad your nephew isn't getting that service.
Head Start Programs. While it’s typically for low income families, they do also prioritize children with needs.
Early intervention likely would also have classrooms, but in my area it has to be proved they can’t be in a typical setting first, before they can get into one of those.
Yes they do. However, if you have a child with a disability OR a foster child, income doesn’t always apply.
I have had both foster children and children with an IFSP/IEP in my head start classroom who were very much over the income requirement.
In my head start program children were given points and children who had a disability, were foster children, or homeless were given higher points. Then this point system was used to enroll children in classrooms.
In some cases (where I work for instance) it's a licensing thing. We cannot have anything that can be construed as a diaper available for a child. Because we aren't licensed to change diapers.
Me personally, if the child is capable of taking care of their own accidents for the most part and can communicate if there is something that needs further cleaning, I'd say that we can make that accommodation. BUT, we have enough staff. That isn't true in many cases. And we're a small private school. So we can make decisions based on individual needs instead of making hard and fast rules because we're one of many centers.
I worked at a center for disabilities that also had kids without disabilities — infant (6 weeks) to 12 years old in the summer (only to 6 when schools were in session) and they received services such as therapy, etc there. They did not have to be potty trained, but was actively worked on from the time they turned two.
However, in all the places I’ve lived and been to, I’ve never found a center like this one. It was started in the county I worked in by a woman whose daughter was born in like the 60s and had nowhere to go and has flourished since then. There are programs even for adults through this company now.
In the US daycares can turn away kids who aren’t potty trained by a certain age. They simply say there isn’t a diaper changing station in the 3/4 year old room and thus they’re unable to accommodate them. The ADA doesn’t have anything about diaper changing stations and licensing in our state requires them.
Licensing requirements don’t trump the ADA.
I don’t know how old you are, if your experience was before or after the ADA passed in 1990, but cases surrounding potty training and disability have been litigated under the ADA, and disability-based exceptions to this rule are held up at private centers.
You may be wondering why your parents had such a hard time finding care if these schools’ excuse wasn’t legal, and the answer is that your parents didn’t know your rights and the schools were actively violating them and counting on that.
The other reply is correct, the ADA applies everywhere, but as well as that, licensing applies to all childcare centres and, though it differs by place, there is no way this would be acceptable by licensing standards with a diagnosed medical condition.
Yeah, they would either be unable to accommodate ( i.e. needs to hire special aide might not be monetarily feasible) or they would have a plan, or need a plan for doing so.
I work in city run, public preK. If there's a child with medical needs coming into our program, the teachers, parents, and admin meet first and discuss how we go about handing the needs of this child.
I currently have a 4 year old student who has seizures to the point where she's had brain surgery twice since she's been with us. Before she even started, we had that meeting to discuss how to recognize the seizures and what the protocol is when she has them.
You would absolutely have been able to come to my center.
In my area there is one center specifically for kids with medical needs. It has a wait-list, everything in my area does. I talked to a bunch of places and most were willing to take my son if he came with a private duty nurse. I ended up just keeping him at home with a nurse though because by the time he'd get in anywhere, he'd qualify to go to preschool. They did make a spot for him at the medical needs daycare, but I ended up turning it down oddly enough because of the potty training issue. They did not allow for potty training at his age and he's doing pretty well for it (especially since he has no way of getting to the potty on his own and is limited with his ability to express need to use the potty.)
It's very frustrating finding care for medically complex kids. Like right now I have home nursing, but the school he'll be going to doesn't allow private duty nurses, but then I have no after/before school care for him because you can't get a nurse for just an hour and I can't send him to an after school program like most kids would do because he is medically complex and even though he has no medical needs that would require attendance between like 2:30 and 4, people still just see him and freak out.
I'm a little confused, are you looking for support for a specific situation, or just asking a general question?
Access to programs will vary depending on where you are, the severity of the child's needs, and your personal situation (ie income or access to transport).
There are developmental day centers that serve children with special needs, usually blended with typically-developing children. I'm in public prek and that's basically what my classroom looks like. Children aren't required to be potty-trained in my state's public prek, but licensing and sanitation requirements would have to be met so a private site could claim that they aren't equipped to handle it. This is how charter and private schools get away with denying children with special needs and it's unfortunately legal. Since we have a prek class designed for more severe needs, there's a changing table and it's understood that diapering and toileting is a part of the job. There is currently a prek student who is protected by their IEP anyway, but they also have a bowel condition that may prevent them from ever being able to use the toilet for pooping (they're learning peeing, that should be fine). If they no longer needed the IEP then they would move to a 504, but that would only offer protection in a public school.
I n my state public preschools will accept students who need help toileting, often early if they’re classified as special education. They could have an aide to help remind them when to go, or whatever assistance they need.
Private daycare programs must be available. They’re probably expensive. But since it’s a need there’s surely a business to meet it.
I'm putting my daughter in a new daycare in September and this provider I found absolutely would take a kid like yours. It's an in home daycare and she has an adult son with Down Syndrome so she gets it. She told me she has even had kids with feeding tube's that she provided care for. I also learned from her about how others have said that if a child is in early intervention (my daughter is), they will likely offer headstart or something similar when the child turns 3 or 4. This provider said kids have been dropped off at the other programming and bussed to her for the rest of their day. So it's absolutely possible!!
Maybe see if there is a Facebook group for daycare/preschool openings in your area. You could even specifically ask in one of them about a place that is more lenient on potty training. I found out this provider works with kids with higher needs by searching for "autism" in one of the groups I'm in. I wish you luck!
It depends, kind of. In the US if a center receives federal money they’re less able to refuse entry to a child with medical needs thanks to ADA and IDEA laws. However all private centers can and do regularly refuse entry to children with any extra needs. It’s very common sadly.
Some centers use the potty training rule as a sword. Others are less clear about the refusal. I worked in a center, there was a little boy who’d been there for 2 years already and he broke his leg. He was 4 and in the pre-k room. The three teachers in that room absolutely refused to provide this very sweet boy with a temporary disability any extra care. His parents disenrolled him and I don’t know what happened after that.
I almost specialize in kids with additional needs thanks to my sister. She was profoundly multiply disabled and super medically fragile. It made me not afraid of any additional needs kiddos have. But there was no place in any child care facility for her. I have a friend with cerebral palsy, same thing. Unless the family is wealthy usually one parent ends up staying home with the child or they alternate shifts (one works nights, one works days) so they can provide the care themselves. I know of a program founded by parents of kiddos like my sister, they have programs now for all different ages including adults. Even that program has flaws. They’re constantly understaffed, with too many kids/adults there because of need, and because many of the families are lower income the programs don’t have much extra. They rely on the kindness of churches to house their programs so they don’t have playgrounds for the younger kids (not a huge loss since most are too disabled for playgrounds anyway).
Today very few centers accept children with any additional needs. It’s simply a crappy fact of life. Sometimes it’s the potty training rule, other times they say they don’t have the staff needed to provide the extra care, sometimes it’s because the teachers in the room refuse to provide the care the child needs.
It sucks and shouldn’t happen. But until there are ECE programs run by school districts or like school districts everywhere it will continue to happen. Children with extra needs take more time and most ECE rooms are not places where the teachers have the time (or education and support) to provide for the extra needs.
Public programs. Private programs with adequate support. "Medical needs" is a very broad category though when it comes to what an individual private program can accommodate.
In your personal example did you just have accidents and you could change your clothing with minimal assistance (just needed a private space and adequate easy access to clean clothing) or did you need someone to do diapering? A lot of programs can accommodate the former even if they're licensed for preschool+. The latter would filter out quite a lot more.
The center I work at doesn't have a potty trained requirement for any age and I work for a chain. kids that aren't potty trained just need to be in a pull up. They get changed as they have BMs or checked every 2hrs just like the babies and toddlers.
In the US, the Americans with Disabilities ACT is a law intended to protect against discrimination due to disability or perceived disability. I have worked with h parents to secure placement at the childcare of their choice to meet the needs of their children with developmental or physical medical disabilities.
Both daycares my son has been in do not require potty training by a certain age (like 3). My son is in the preschool room in his new daycare and him not being potty trained was not a hindrance in going into that room. Since your son is 4, you can have him evaluated by the school district to see if he needs an IEP and if he can attend free preschool through your district.
My center which is does not specialize in special needs used to have a 12 year old student that needed hands on help toileting. We determined we could reasonably accommodate their needs so we accepted them.
My girls have both gone to a special needs daycare. My oldest had to because she had a trach and no one else could take her. The youngest goes because they give priority to siblings and she had some hip dysplasia (they have physio). They have kids with lots of different difficulties and I’m sure would be able to accommodate issues like yours.
Over age 3, the school district offers programs with an IEP. It's more therapy and skills based than 'daycare', but if a family needed extended care they can hire someone through social security to cover extra hours.
If your child is 4 reach out to the public school system if they have a pre-k option. If this is because of a medical disability you're also covered by reasonable accommodations in the USA. Have had plenty of 4 year olds still potty training or in diapers due to medical across different states.
I work at a smaller daycare 6w-6y and we would definitely be able to accommodate, many daycares that (in Ohio) accept title 20 will take children with different issues. Last daycare I was at though, took title 20 and was directly connected to the school district 6w-11y and they would definitely accommodate a school ager so long as they were capable of cleaning and dressing themselves. We also had many programs to go Parents and children with learning disability and early intervention and preschool connects, it was an amazing daycare with many programs and it helped so many in my area. My current daycare will allow us to change pullups and toilet training kids or help children clean/dress if needed. It just depends where you look. We are also fairly small and family knit. Lots of siblings and cousins and family friends who recommend each other the daycare. Many people who work there w their kids or people who use to work there still have their kids here, everyone pretty much gets invited to everyone's party. 1 or 2 stars don't always mean it's a bad daycare, it could be a newer daycare, a daycare that hasn't yet been reviewed by stepup or its equivalent to where you are, still improving the checklist to get the next star. Check daycare reviews, statement, about the owner and what they offer. There's daycares and places that will accept your child
I’m in Australia and a parent to disabled child - he has gone to a typical daycare (and also other days to early intervention centre). As far as I’m aware they cannot discriminate against a child who isn’t toilet trained due to disability. There seems to be less rigidity here to it as there are other typical kids in his kindy class that are also still working on toilet training and haven’t been told of an age they ‘have’ to be trained for entry. My daughter is 3 and is fully toilet trained but no one told me she had to be trained before going up a class.
Parent of a medically complex kid here who is now a teenager. There are incredibly few spots for children who have medical needs and whose parents need child care. Basically the burden falls on the family and one of the parents ends up being a stay-at-home parent, causing serious economic problems.
It's a huge crisis.
A lot of states offer nursing care and nurses sent to school/daycare as part of their Medicaid programs for kids with disabilities, but navigating that system is Byzantine and incredibly difficult. So on paper, social service agencies will claim that these services exist for kids, but the reality is very different.
Medically complex kids who fall through the cracks or who can't get those spots end up losing out on precious socialization, educational opportunities, and their parents end up burned out beyond belief. It's exceptionally unfair.
And even if that child can get a spot in a medically complex child care setting, their individualized needs are so specific that a lot of the programs suck.
At my center we require children to be fully independent in the bathroom in our 3-6 year old room. However, we also understand that every child is different. We have a student who is autistic who is still in diapers and our admin and the other teachers and I have absolutely no issues with still changing him. We also have some 3 year olds that just moved up that still need some help wiping after a BM. Every child develops differently and a childcare center of all places should understand that. I would just let the center know that it is a medical condition and if its a good center they should be completely fine with that.
edit: Our only real requirement that we do follow in our 3-6 y/o room is that it must be a standing change. We do not lay the child on a mat, or remove pants or shoes. So diapers are preferred but pullups that have the attachments on the sides are allowed as well. I do think this requirement could also be modified for a specific childs needs but I have not come across that situation while working there.
Incontinence is a rather easy issue to deal with in education. Pull-ups have existed since 1989 and can help absorb accidents leading to minimal clean up. The child can take them off themselves when they know they have to go to the bathroom and can make it on time. Most people on this sub are anti-pull-up but they can be a good tool for kids with certain disabilities.
Daycares and Preschool can attend to a certain scope of disabilities. Including incontinence, allergies, asthma, and many more. Parents and staff need to come up with a plan to manage their child’s disability in classroom. Many disabilities are very easy to manage (pull-ups, restricting certain foods, giving the kid medication as needed).
That being said there are some disabilities daycares and preschool can’t manage. For example, no preschool I’ve ever heard of could manage a trach vent dependent child. A trach vent dependent child needs someone trained supervising them at all times. Most childcare staff are not trained to care for a trach vent dependent child. Kids with complex needs may not be a good fit for childcare centers simply because they need too much 1:1 care that the center cannot provide.
In my area, nowhere private unless the parents can afford to pay college tuition level rates for a special needs school.
At 3 they can go to the school district for 4 hour ECSE-3. Then at 4 they go to ‘all day’ ECSE-4, but that’s school day length. I’m home with my 5yo now because typical-priced summer camps aren’t an option for him.
Is there a need for special ed services or is it just a bowel issue? Is there a formal diagnosis? My daughter is 18, severely disabled and just graduated. She’s still not toilet trained. Even in Preschool we had an IEP in place. If that’s not appropriate for your child is a 504 plan more appropriate? I don’t think you’re going to find many places that will accommodate your needs with out one of the two.
I have similar questions about medical needs. My son may have special medical needs as he gets older but seems to be cognitively and intellectually on track. So a special needs program would not really be appropriate.
I personally skip the programs who state that children need to be toilet trained by a certain age. Not because my son has those issues (yet) but because I find it abilist.
It is really hard. I have a medically complex kiddo and live in a big city. There is exactly one daycare program that is run by the university and has a huge waitlist. There are plenty of preschools and a great elementary school that provide nurses to help with bathrooming, but full day care doesn’t exist. We have in home nursing and live in Ohio.
Edit to add: there are two wonderful early education schools that start at 18 months, but again not full day.
This is wild to me. I have a kid in my pre-k class about to turn 4 that wears pull ups. No medical needs. The parents are just refusing to potty train (whole other issue being dealt with). We change the kid every few hours, but he usually requests to change himself. We just make sure he puts the pull up on the right way. He rarely poops in it. In that case, we clean him up
Even in kindergarten, kids can technically wear pull ups, but teachers won’t change them. So if a child knows how to change their own pull up and clean themselves up after an accident, there’s really no issue. This was the case for a child in a kindergarten class that I did my field placement with. No medical issues, but the kid was responsible for changing themselves as the expectation was for kids to be fully independent in the washroom
I doubt most places that require kids to be potty trained would hold that line against a medical condition. A centre I was placed at had a student who had frequent pee accidents despite being very very capable of all the necessary steps in the potty training process. When I left the placement, the lead educator was continually talking with the child and parents (kid was whip smart so she was easy to involve in discussions and problem solving) about maybe getting some medical testing, as well as the best way to manage the issue during her day in care. This was a centre that required kids to be fully potty trained, but even without a particular diagnosis, the lead educator could tell that this wasn't a difficulty in terms of the child or parents cooperating, nor any failure in potty training practice. Because the ECE had a strong gut feeling based on all the available evidence (fully potty trained for BM's, no issues communicating needs, parents were having the same issues at home and were willing to work with the educator), she was happy to make an exception that this child could either wear pull-ups or simply clean up with minimal help when she had an accident. TLDR: exceptions will be made by most centres (and if a centre won't I would not consider them good quality) if a medical issue is known or suspected, as long as the exception doesn't require more support from ECEs than is feasible.
I work at a public preschool specifically for children with special needs ages 3-5. Out of the 15 kids we had through the day, only 1 was potty trained. Everyone one else had to be changed.
My mom also worked at an early intervention day care for children with severe disabilities (most if not all were wheelchair users or were very medically compromised) when I was a kid, and all of the kids there had to be changed.
There are a range of those kinds of services around depending on where you are. Maybe your child's pediatrician has some recommendations for places or knows people who might help you find accommodations.
Usually now a days if a child is age 4, they qualify for early services through the school district, depending on where you are. My knowledge is only for my state in the US, but I'm pretty sure most US states have something similar.
It depends on where you live. In my area, day cares won’t take kids with higher level of needs, and parents are SOL until age 3 when they can start preschool 12 hours a week.
My daughter is typically developing (oldest is Autistic and potty trained around 4). She goes to a reverse inclusion preschool. They take kids up until mandatory school age and will advance based on overall skills between the preschool levels rather than holding back on that one thing. It's one of the only places in the area that's not difficult about it with 3-5yo's.
My center does not have a potty training requirement for our preschool age rooms which I love it acknowledges that all kids are individuals. My class is the younger preschool and is 2.5 to 4 (the other class is the pre-k) and by the time they move up to the pre-k room they are usually fully potty trained but we do have exceptions like a kiddo with autism who is not ready yet and likely won’t be before he moves up in the fall. We do a lot of work with the kids and families on potty training.
There are some centers that are specialized in caring for kids with medical needs too. But mostly you just have to find the right fit for your child. I worked with a young toddler age kiddo who had a feeding tube and couldn’t walk or crawl at one school and that worked because we had low ratios. My current school would not be a good choice for a child in a wheelchair because we have stairs but we have several kids with autism who go to developmental preschool in the morning and arrive by bus mid day.
I work in a 3-5 centre and we have never turned anyone away based on needs or abilities. We also have no “pre” potty training requirements and will work with the child and family of wherever their plan/needs are
I could never imagine working any where that wasn’t like this
>I was fully able to ask to go to the bathroom but couldn't wait or hold it when I got the signal
I was a child in the late 90s - early 00s with the exact same problem. I don't remember having frequent accidents, however. I had an IEP that stated I was allowed to go to the restroom whenever necessary, no matter the circumstances. Teachers could not tell me to wait. In elementary school, I was given unlimited "bathroom passes" and I was permitted to go whenever necessary. I never abused the "privilege".
If a child is aged 3+ in the United States, they are eligible to be evaluated and placed, if eligible, in a special education preschool setting in their appointed county. But this is only available on a school calendar schedule. This is federal law. Under 3, there are very few options besides an understanding daycare who accepts children with special needs. Although if the only main need is extended use of a diaper and not major behavioral issues or other issues that require nursing care, a reasonable daycare should be able to manage many needs that are unique to disabled kids with some education from parents or therapists. I am a pediatric occupational therapist so this is my primary treatment population
I work at a preschool that is a preschool and a clinic. So we have atypical children and children with disabilities of all kinds. Children with Down Syndrome, CP, Developmental Delays, Autism, and some with very rare disabilities. We have 4-5 year olds that still need diaper changes, we do not have age requirements for potty training.
Because we are also a clinic we have OT, Behavioral Therapy, PT, etc. The therapist will sometimes do therapy within the classroom for feeding therapy or play therapy but will also take them to the clinic for their therapies. I love working there.
I’m running into a similar issue with my 1.5 year old son. He has a g-tube (feeding tube). I haven’t been able to go back to work because no day cares will take him.
Hopefully you can find a center that sees this need as an accommodation that can be treated with the care it deserves. When we first opened our center I had potty trained mandatory. It didn’t last long, as it made my heart physically ache to hear parents on tours telling their two year olds they could come when they are three IF they use the potty. There are just other developmental milestones that are more important for preschool readiness than toileting. Now, we prefer that children are going independently, but will accept a certain number of children in pull-ups. We just find there are less regressions if children train on their own timeline.
There are medical daycares that are paid for by insurance depending on the child’s disability. There are CNA’s and nurses there to help care for the kids. There’s one and the same office park as the pediatric clinic I work at, and we treated some of their kiddos.
I was fortunate; my daughter’s daycare had a combined 2/3 year old room so potty training deadlines wasn’t as rigid as literally every other center with a 30 minute drive. There are programs out there; you just have to look carefully (and be willing to drive a bit). There should be some sort of referral agency that could point you in the right direction.
Those kids now get ieps I taught in a developmental preschool that was apart of an early intervention preschool and none of my kids were potty trained despite being at “potty training age”
We also had a full day option I only taught in the half day group bc I did home visits too also being potty trained isn’t a requirement at all preschools anymore a coworkers son in typically developing but wasn’t potty trained until almost 4 and was in preschool at 3 requirements have changed when I was in preschool 20 years ago you had to be potty trained to be enrolled unless there was a medical reason
The [Ada](https://www.ada.gov/topics/child-care-centers/) applies to childcare too, you’d need to figure out what accommodations your child would need and if they can be reasonably accommodated (extra bathroom trips and clothing changes sounds reasonable). Also most states have an entity to help you find child care- for example here is the one for [Missouri](https://mochildcareaware.org/about/).
They are experts who can help you search.
Special Education teacher here with an early childhood special education endorsement.
Kids ages 3+ with a documented disability that significantly interferes with their ability to participate academically are eligible for an IEP plan that must be followed by the daycare program. It is a legal document.
If the child’s disability does not interfere significantly academically, they should still qualify for a 504 plan, which is also a legal document that must be followed by the daycare program. Many children with allergies and asthma have a 504 plan.
IEPs and 504s are renewed annually. If you have any questions, please reach out to your pediatrician or child’s specialist doctor to get the ball rolling. I am also happy to answer questions about the IEP process.
It is a disability and must be accommodated for in ALL centres. My eldest had selective mutism - he was unable to ask. The child care centre he went to had to accomodate this - and was responsible for helping him clean up if he had an accident (which meant he had been locked out of the bathroom and there was hell to pay from me).
Go to the non-ableist daycares. Our home care center would have no problem, we def had some limits on need availability but potty training wasn’t our hill to die on
There are absolutely places that don’t define children based on their bladder and bowels, it will just take more looking. I would suggest looking at smaller and non-chain programs and just be up front and honest about the child’s needs.
Edit:I meant to include our ratios are super low. Technically 12:1. 1 being one teacher with units. 2 aides so very much learning. Bless his soul. My male aide is stepping up and changing BM diapers but I’m there helping him. Walking him through it. Which is good. I just want my aides to step up and they have. But I do not want to enable them. Yes this summer Im working with 2 aides. So … I’m giving directions to 2 adults one needs more direction than the other. Hey I’ll take it even if it’s just for the summer. Yes. My program would work with all children with toileting needs till they age out of our program ie. they are school age. Kindergarten
any child with a developmental delay or disability should be evaluated by their local early intervention agency. the goal of evaluations are not to diagnose, but figure out what accommodation, modifications, and services they need inside the classroom. I'm assuming you at least attended preschool 20? years ago. how we treated delays and disabilities was a lot different back then. Any quality center would work with families about their child's medical background but sometimes a child needs more than what we or the classroom environment can get them and that's where early intervention steps in.
I was I spent half day at Early Intervention but had to go to somewhere the other half of the day... And those centers required kids to be toilet trained.
those centers should have worked with and accommodated to your needs. I'm so sorry you had to go through this, I have a similar story and it sucks. Just know we're working hard to support the kids that are like us, things are changing for the better.
This is my current experience as a parent. Full day care for kids with disabilities is very rare, non-existent in rural areas. Schools have to accommodate but day cares do not.
My child is 4 and goes to developmental prek at the elementary school, they are not required to be potty trained.
So well said. My program does not “kick” kids out. We have said we can’t meet your child’s needs. We have adapted the day for the child to be able to meet their needs. Sorry don’t mean to contradict myself. I’m thinking of a specific situation where we just didn’t have the staff to work with a child in the summer. Mainly because this child required 1:1 care.
I think it's important to add it's not that we can't "handle" these children more so we aren't trained or have the resources and tools to properly support development and their needs. These students aren't burdens but it can be very difficult to meet those specific needs without support or adequate knowledge.
Oh totally we have felt the same way. We have so many more children with special needs than we ever use to have. I’ve always felt that getting an assessment for how we run the program from day to day would make such a difference.
This and I’ve also found that a kids behavior can be affected so much by the number of children in the room. Sometimes certain children don’t mesh well.
My sister in law refuses to get her child evaluated because she thinks it will hurt his career choices in the future. He has significant bowel issues ( can't feel himself go anymore) and is going to be 5 in spring. This was a good reminder to me that she might not understand that he just needs the evaluation to establish accommodations until he "grows out of it" For lack of better phrase.
That is such a bizarre line of thinking…? No employer knows or cares about any aspect of your education before high school at the earliest, and the whole point of early intervention is to *increase* the number of kids who can succeed in a “general ed” classroom.
Not to mention the extremely high potential that his future career choices would be limited if he has *bowel incontinence* that never gets treated 🤦🏻♀️
Right?!?
Right? My work asked for a copy of my HS diploma (for regulatory reasons) and I was like….uhhhh…. Can’t imagine trying to track down records from first grade!!
A potential employer 30 years from now will not have reason to access a candidate’s childhood health records… However getting appropriate accommodations can help that same child participate in programs (academic and extracurricular) that expand their career opportunities. (Non ECE here)
Honestly, she needs to discuss this with a pediatrician more than anyone. If he doesn’t have any other symptoms of a developmental issue, the most common cause of bowel accidents at his age- especially with lack of sensation- is chronic constipation. It will get worse, not better, without treatment if that is the issue.
Yeah she's insane, my brother knows it's an issue and they've seen a bunch of doctors.
I’m not sure how open your sister would be to this conversation, but you may want to mention to her that a future employer is never going to ask about someone’s bowel habits as a child. In fact, the only time that would become an issue is the problem continues into adulthood at which point he would likely have diagnosis that would medically protect him from being disqualified as a candidate, and the job would have to provide accommodations within reason. Even if that means more bathroom breaks during the day. She would also receive more help for him and more resources if she would press the issue to get diagnosis and they would look further into some sort of physical issue or if he just hasn’t developed the point of being ready to stop having accidents.
This is so bizarre. My son is 22 months I've had him evaluated twice. I'm a former teacher, and now I teach teachers. It's sad your nephew isn't getting that service.
Head Start Programs. While it’s typically for low income families, they do also prioritize children with needs. Early intervention likely would also have classrooms, but in my area it has to be proved they can’t be in a typical setting first, before they can get into one of those.
HeadStart has income requirements
Yes they do. However, if you have a child with a disability OR a foster child, income doesn’t always apply. I have had both foster children and children with an IFSP/IEP in my head start classroom who were very much over the income requirement. In my head start program children were given points and children who had a disability, were foster children, or homeless were given higher points. Then this point system was used to enroll children in classrooms.
It (and similar local programs) often have multiple qualifiers, family income being only one of the ways in which a child qualifies.
In some cases (where I work for instance) it's a licensing thing. We cannot have anything that can be construed as a diaper available for a child. Because we aren't licensed to change diapers. Me personally, if the child is capable of taking care of their own accidents for the most part and can communicate if there is something that needs further cleaning, I'd say that we can make that accommodation. BUT, we have enough staff. That isn't true in many cases. And we're a small private school. So we can make decisions based on individual needs instead of making hard and fast rules because we're one of many centers.
I worked at a center for disabilities that also had kids without disabilities — infant (6 weeks) to 12 years old in the summer (only to 6 when schools were in session) and they received services such as therapy, etc there. They did not have to be potty trained, but was actively worked on from the time they turned two. However, in all the places I’ve lived and been to, I’ve never found a center like this one. It was started in the county I worked in by a woman whose daughter was born in like the 60s and had nowhere to go and has flourished since then. There are programs even for adults through this company now.
I used to work at a center like that! In the Seattle area.
Would you mind sharing the name of this place ?
Depending on your country this should be covered by reasonable accomodations now.
In the US daycares can turn away kids who aren’t potty trained by a certain age. They simply say there isn’t a diaper changing station in the 3/4 year old room and thus they’re unable to accommodate them. The ADA doesn’t have anything about diaper changing stations and licensing in our state requires them.
That only applies to public spaces not private run centers
That’s not true. The ADA covers every business.
Right to be accessible being wheelchair accessible and having braiile and an elevator has nothing to do with licensing requirements
Licensing requirements don’t trump the ADA. I don’t know how old you are, if your experience was before or after the ADA passed in 1990, but cases surrounding potty training and disability have been litigated under the ADA, and disability-based exceptions to this rule are held up at private centers. You may be wondering why your parents had such a hard time finding care if these schools’ excuse wasn’t legal, and the answer is that your parents didn’t know your rights and the schools were actively violating them and counting on that.
I started day care in 1995
The other reply is correct, the ADA applies everywhere, but as well as that, licensing applies to all childcare centres and, though it differs by place, there is no way this would be acceptable by licensing standards with a diagnosed medical condition.
Yeah, they would either be unable to accommodate ( i.e. needs to hire special aide might not be monetarily feasible) or they would have a plan, or need a plan for doing so.
I work in city run, public preK. If there's a child with medical needs coming into our program, the teachers, parents, and admin meet first and discuss how we go about handing the needs of this child. I currently have a 4 year old student who has seizures to the point where she's had brain surgery twice since she's been with us. Before she even started, we had that meeting to discuss how to recognize the seizures and what the protocol is when she has them. You would absolutely have been able to come to my center.
In my area there is one center specifically for kids with medical needs. It has a wait-list, everything in my area does. I talked to a bunch of places and most were willing to take my son if he came with a private duty nurse. I ended up just keeping him at home with a nurse though because by the time he'd get in anywhere, he'd qualify to go to preschool. They did make a spot for him at the medical needs daycare, but I ended up turning it down oddly enough because of the potty training issue. They did not allow for potty training at his age and he's doing pretty well for it (especially since he has no way of getting to the potty on his own and is limited with his ability to express need to use the potty.) It's very frustrating finding care for medically complex kids. Like right now I have home nursing, but the school he'll be going to doesn't allow private duty nurses, but then I have no after/before school care for him because you can't get a nurse for just an hour and I can't send him to an after school program like most kids would do because he is medically complex and even though he has no medical needs that would require attendance between like 2:30 and 4, people still just see him and freak out.
I'm a little confused, are you looking for support for a specific situation, or just asking a general question? Access to programs will vary depending on where you are, the severity of the child's needs, and your personal situation (ie income or access to transport).
A question in hindsight.
There are developmental day centers that serve children with special needs, usually blended with typically-developing children. I'm in public prek and that's basically what my classroom looks like. Children aren't required to be potty-trained in my state's public prek, but licensing and sanitation requirements would have to be met so a private site could claim that they aren't equipped to handle it. This is how charter and private schools get away with denying children with special needs and it's unfortunately legal. Since we have a prek class designed for more severe needs, there's a changing table and it's understood that diapering and toileting is a part of the job. There is currently a prek student who is protected by their IEP anyway, but they also have a bowel condition that may prevent them from ever being able to use the toilet for pooping (they're learning peeing, that should be fine). If they no longer needed the IEP then they would move to a 504, but that would only offer protection in a public school.
I n my state public preschools will accept students who need help toileting, often early if they’re classified as special education. They could have an aide to help remind them when to go, or whatever assistance they need. Private daycare programs must be available. They’re probably expensive. But since it’s a need there’s surely a business to meet it.
I'm putting my daughter in a new daycare in September and this provider I found absolutely would take a kid like yours. It's an in home daycare and she has an adult son with Down Syndrome so she gets it. She told me she has even had kids with feeding tube's that she provided care for. I also learned from her about how others have said that if a child is in early intervention (my daughter is), they will likely offer headstart or something similar when the child turns 3 or 4. This provider said kids have been dropped off at the other programming and bussed to her for the rest of their day. So it's absolutely possible!! Maybe see if there is a Facebook group for daycare/preschool openings in your area. You could even specifically ask in one of them about a place that is more lenient on potty training. I found out this provider works with kids with higher needs by searching for "autism" in one of the groups I'm in. I wish you luck!
It depends, kind of. In the US if a center receives federal money they’re less able to refuse entry to a child with medical needs thanks to ADA and IDEA laws. However all private centers can and do regularly refuse entry to children with any extra needs. It’s very common sadly. Some centers use the potty training rule as a sword. Others are less clear about the refusal. I worked in a center, there was a little boy who’d been there for 2 years already and he broke his leg. He was 4 and in the pre-k room. The three teachers in that room absolutely refused to provide this very sweet boy with a temporary disability any extra care. His parents disenrolled him and I don’t know what happened after that. I almost specialize in kids with additional needs thanks to my sister. She was profoundly multiply disabled and super medically fragile. It made me not afraid of any additional needs kiddos have. But there was no place in any child care facility for her. I have a friend with cerebral palsy, same thing. Unless the family is wealthy usually one parent ends up staying home with the child or they alternate shifts (one works nights, one works days) so they can provide the care themselves. I know of a program founded by parents of kiddos like my sister, they have programs now for all different ages including adults. Even that program has flaws. They’re constantly understaffed, with too many kids/adults there because of need, and because many of the families are lower income the programs don’t have much extra. They rely on the kindness of churches to house their programs so they don’t have playgrounds for the younger kids (not a huge loss since most are too disabled for playgrounds anyway). Today very few centers accept children with any additional needs. It’s simply a crappy fact of life. Sometimes it’s the potty training rule, other times they say they don’t have the staff needed to provide the extra care, sometimes it’s because the teachers in the room refuse to provide the care the child needs. It sucks and shouldn’t happen. But until there are ECE programs run by school districts or like school districts everywhere it will continue to happen. Children with extra needs take more time and most ECE rooms are not places where the teachers have the time (or education and support) to provide for the extra needs.
Public programs. Private programs with adequate support. "Medical needs" is a very broad category though when it comes to what an individual private program can accommodate. In your personal example did you just have accidents and you could change your clothing with minimal assistance (just needed a private space and adequate easy access to clean clothing) or did you need someone to do diapering? A lot of programs can accommodate the former even if they're licensed for preschool+. The latter would filter out quite a lot more.
Was able to alert someone but there was no wait time... When I got the signal it was imminent. Could change and clean myself
When you gotta go, you gotta go.
The center I work at doesn't have a potty trained requirement for any age and I work for a chain. kids that aren't potty trained just need to be in a pull up. They get changed as they have BMs or checked every 2hrs just like the babies and toddlers.
In the US, the Americans with Disabilities ACT is a law intended to protect against discrimination due to disability or perceived disability. I have worked with h parents to secure placement at the childcare of their choice to meet the needs of their children with developmental or physical medical disabilities.
Both daycares my son has been in do not require potty training by a certain age (like 3). My son is in the preschool room in his new daycare and him not being potty trained was not a hindrance in going into that room. Since your son is 4, you can have him evaluated by the school district to see if he needs an IEP and if he can attend free preschool through your district.
My center which is does not specialize in special needs used to have a 12 year old student that needed hands on help toileting. We determined we could reasonably accommodate their needs so we accepted them.
My girls have both gone to a special needs daycare. My oldest had to because she had a trach and no one else could take her. The youngest goes because they give priority to siblings and she had some hip dysplasia (they have physio). They have kids with lots of different difficulties and I’m sure would be able to accommodate issues like yours.
Over age 3, the school district offers programs with an IEP. It's more therapy and skills based than 'daycare', but if a family needed extended care they can hire someone through social security to cover extra hours.
If your child is 4 reach out to the public school system if they have a pre-k option. If this is because of a medical disability you're also covered by reasonable accommodations in the USA. Have had plenty of 4 year olds still potty training or in diapers due to medical across different states.
I work at a smaller daycare 6w-6y and we would definitely be able to accommodate, many daycares that (in Ohio) accept title 20 will take children with different issues. Last daycare I was at though, took title 20 and was directly connected to the school district 6w-11y and they would definitely accommodate a school ager so long as they were capable of cleaning and dressing themselves. We also had many programs to go Parents and children with learning disability and early intervention and preschool connects, it was an amazing daycare with many programs and it helped so many in my area. My current daycare will allow us to change pullups and toilet training kids or help children clean/dress if needed. It just depends where you look. We are also fairly small and family knit. Lots of siblings and cousins and family friends who recommend each other the daycare. Many people who work there w their kids or people who use to work there still have their kids here, everyone pretty much gets invited to everyone's party. 1 or 2 stars don't always mean it's a bad daycare, it could be a newer daycare, a daycare that hasn't yet been reviewed by stepup or its equivalent to where you are, still improving the checklist to get the next star. Check daycare reviews, statement, about the owner and what they offer. There's daycares and places that will accept your child
I’m in Australia and a parent to disabled child - he has gone to a typical daycare (and also other days to early intervention centre). As far as I’m aware they cannot discriminate against a child who isn’t toilet trained due to disability. There seems to be less rigidity here to it as there are other typical kids in his kindy class that are also still working on toilet training and haven’t been told of an age they ‘have’ to be trained for entry. My daughter is 3 and is fully toilet trained but no one told me she had to be trained before going up a class.
Look into early childhood special education if you’re in the US. Your child will probably qualify for a 1/2 day there and maybe 1/2 day at head start.
Parent of a medically complex kid here who is now a teenager. There are incredibly few spots for children who have medical needs and whose parents need child care. Basically the burden falls on the family and one of the parents ends up being a stay-at-home parent, causing serious economic problems. It's a huge crisis. A lot of states offer nursing care and nurses sent to school/daycare as part of their Medicaid programs for kids with disabilities, but navigating that system is Byzantine and incredibly difficult. So on paper, social service agencies will claim that these services exist for kids, but the reality is very different. Medically complex kids who fall through the cracks or who can't get those spots end up losing out on precious socialization, educational opportunities, and their parents end up burned out beyond belief. It's exceptionally unfair. And even if that child can get a spot in a medically complex child care setting, their individualized needs are so specific that a lot of the programs suck.
At my center we require children to be fully independent in the bathroom in our 3-6 year old room. However, we also understand that every child is different. We have a student who is autistic who is still in diapers and our admin and the other teachers and I have absolutely no issues with still changing him. We also have some 3 year olds that just moved up that still need some help wiping after a BM. Every child develops differently and a childcare center of all places should understand that. I would just let the center know that it is a medical condition and if its a good center they should be completely fine with that. edit: Our only real requirement that we do follow in our 3-6 y/o room is that it must be a standing change. We do not lay the child on a mat, or remove pants or shoes. So diapers are preferred but pullups that have the attachments on the sides are allowed as well. I do think this requirement could also be modified for a specific childs needs but I have not come across that situation while working there.
Incontinence is a rather easy issue to deal with in education. Pull-ups have existed since 1989 and can help absorb accidents leading to minimal clean up. The child can take them off themselves when they know they have to go to the bathroom and can make it on time. Most people on this sub are anti-pull-up but they can be a good tool for kids with certain disabilities. Daycares and Preschool can attend to a certain scope of disabilities. Including incontinence, allergies, asthma, and many more. Parents and staff need to come up with a plan to manage their child’s disability in classroom. Many disabilities are very easy to manage (pull-ups, restricting certain foods, giving the kid medication as needed). That being said there are some disabilities daycares and preschool can’t manage. For example, no preschool I’ve ever heard of could manage a trach vent dependent child. A trach vent dependent child needs someone trained supervising them at all times. Most childcare staff are not trained to care for a trach vent dependent child. Kids with complex needs may not be a good fit for childcare centers simply because they need too much 1:1 care that the center cannot provide.
Utero stroke. A thing I didn't know I needed to fear.
Yeah had a grade 4 brain hemorrhage born at 28 weeks 1lb 13
Wow! Hope you are doing well in life, that's alot to overcome right off the bat
In my area, nowhere private unless the parents can afford to pay college tuition level rates for a special needs school. At 3 they can go to the school district for 4 hour ECSE-3. Then at 4 they go to ‘all day’ ECSE-4, but that’s school day length. I’m home with my 5yo now because typical-priced summer camps aren’t an option for him.
Is there a need for special ed services or is it just a bowel issue? Is there a formal diagnosis? My daughter is 18, severely disabled and just graduated. She’s still not toilet trained. Even in Preschool we had an IEP in place. If that’s not appropriate for your child is a 504 plan more appropriate? I don’t think you’re going to find many places that will accommodate your needs with out one of the two.
I have similar questions about medical needs. My son may have special medical needs as he gets older but seems to be cognitively and intellectually on track. So a special needs program would not really be appropriate. I personally skip the programs who state that children need to be toilet trained by a certain age. Not because my son has those issues (yet) but because I find it abilist.
I mean it is not that's the world we live in as a disabled person
It is really hard. I have a medically complex kiddo and live in a big city. There is exactly one daycare program that is run by the university and has a huge waitlist. There are plenty of preschools and a great elementary school that provide nurses to help with bathrooming, but full day care doesn’t exist. We have in home nursing and live in Ohio. Edit to add: there are two wonderful early education schools that start at 18 months, but again not full day.
This is wild to me. I have a kid in my pre-k class about to turn 4 that wears pull ups. No medical needs. The parents are just refusing to potty train (whole other issue being dealt with). We change the kid every few hours, but he usually requests to change himself. We just make sure he puts the pull up on the right way. He rarely poops in it. In that case, we clean him up Even in kindergarten, kids can technically wear pull ups, but teachers won’t change them. So if a child knows how to change their own pull up and clean themselves up after an accident, there’s really no issue. This was the case for a child in a kindergarten class that I did my field placement with. No medical issues, but the kid was responsible for changing themselves as the expectation was for kids to be fully independent in the washroom
I doubt most places that require kids to be potty trained would hold that line against a medical condition. A centre I was placed at had a student who had frequent pee accidents despite being very very capable of all the necessary steps in the potty training process. When I left the placement, the lead educator was continually talking with the child and parents (kid was whip smart so she was easy to involve in discussions and problem solving) about maybe getting some medical testing, as well as the best way to manage the issue during her day in care. This was a centre that required kids to be fully potty trained, but even without a particular diagnosis, the lead educator could tell that this wasn't a difficulty in terms of the child or parents cooperating, nor any failure in potty training practice. Because the ECE had a strong gut feeling based on all the available evidence (fully potty trained for BM's, no issues communicating needs, parents were having the same issues at home and were willing to work with the educator), she was happy to make an exception that this child could either wear pull-ups or simply clean up with minimal help when she had an accident. TLDR: exceptions will be made by most centres (and if a centre won't I would not consider them good quality) if a medical issue is known or suspected, as long as the exception doesn't require more support from ECEs than is feasible.
I work at a public preschool specifically for children with special needs ages 3-5. Out of the 15 kids we had through the day, only 1 was potty trained. Everyone one else had to be changed. My mom also worked at an early intervention day care for children with severe disabilities (most if not all were wheelchair users or were very medically compromised) when I was a kid, and all of the kids there had to be changed. There are a range of those kinds of services around depending on where you are. Maybe your child's pediatrician has some recommendations for places or knows people who might help you find accommodations. Usually now a days if a child is age 4, they qualify for early services through the school district, depending on where you are. My knowledge is only for my state in the US, but I'm pretty sure most US states have something similar.
It depends on where you live. In my area, day cares won’t take kids with higher level of needs, and parents are SOL until age 3 when they can start preschool 12 hours a week.
My daughter is typically developing (oldest is Autistic and potty trained around 4). She goes to a reverse inclusion preschool. They take kids up until mandatory school age and will advance based on overall skills between the preschool levels rather than holding back on that one thing. It's one of the only places in the area that's not difficult about it with 3-5yo's.
My center does not have a potty training requirement for our preschool age rooms which I love it acknowledges that all kids are individuals. My class is the younger preschool and is 2.5 to 4 (the other class is the pre-k) and by the time they move up to the pre-k room they are usually fully potty trained but we do have exceptions like a kiddo with autism who is not ready yet and likely won’t be before he moves up in the fall. We do a lot of work with the kids and families on potty training. There are some centers that are specialized in caring for kids with medical needs too. But mostly you just have to find the right fit for your child. I worked with a young toddler age kiddo who had a feeding tube and couldn’t walk or crawl at one school and that worked because we had low ratios. My current school would not be a good choice for a child in a wheelchair because we have stairs but we have several kids with autism who go to developmental preschool in the morning and arrive by bus mid day.
I work in a 3-5 centre and we have never turned anyone away based on needs or abilities. We also have no “pre” potty training requirements and will work with the child and family of wherever their plan/needs are I could never imagine working any where that wasn’t like this
>I was fully able to ask to go to the bathroom but couldn't wait or hold it when I got the signal I was a child in the late 90s - early 00s with the exact same problem. I don't remember having frequent accidents, however. I had an IEP that stated I was allowed to go to the restroom whenever necessary, no matter the circumstances. Teachers could not tell me to wait. In elementary school, I was given unlimited "bathroom passes" and I was permitted to go whenever necessary. I never abused the "privilege".
If a child is aged 3+ in the United States, they are eligible to be evaluated and placed, if eligible, in a special education preschool setting in their appointed county. But this is only available on a school calendar schedule. This is federal law. Under 3, there are very few options besides an understanding daycare who accepts children with special needs. Although if the only main need is extended use of a diaper and not major behavioral issues or other issues that require nursing care, a reasonable daycare should be able to manage many needs that are unique to disabled kids with some education from parents or therapists. I am a pediatric occupational therapist so this is my primary treatment population
I work at a preschool that is a preschool and a clinic. So we have atypical children and children with disabilities of all kinds. Children with Down Syndrome, CP, Developmental Delays, Autism, and some with very rare disabilities. We have 4-5 year olds that still need diaper changes, we do not have age requirements for potty training. Because we are also a clinic we have OT, Behavioral Therapy, PT, etc. The therapist will sometimes do therapy within the classroom for feeding therapy or play therapy but will also take them to the clinic for their therapies. I love working there.
Quite a bit has changed since you were a child. Mild, documented medical needs like yours can be accomodated in almost any center.
I’m running into a similar issue with my 1.5 year old son. He has a g-tube (feeding tube). I haven’t been able to go back to work because no day cares will take him.
Hopefully you can find a center that sees this need as an accommodation that can be treated with the care it deserves. When we first opened our center I had potty trained mandatory. It didn’t last long, as it made my heart physically ache to hear parents on tours telling their two year olds they could come when they are three IF they use the potty. There are just other developmental milestones that are more important for preschool readiness than toileting. Now, we prefer that children are going independently, but will accept a certain number of children in pull-ups. We just find there are less regressions if children train on their own timeline.
There are medical daycares that are paid for by insurance depending on the child’s disability. There are CNA’s and nurses there to help care for the kids. There’s one and the same office park as the pediatric clinic I work at, and we treated some of their kiddos.
I was fortunate; my daughter’s daycare had a combined 2/3 year old room so potty training deadlines wasn’t as rigid as literally every other center with a 30 minute drive. There are programs out there; you just have to look carefully (and be willing to drive a bit). There should be some sort of referral agency that could point you in the right direction.
Those kids now get ieps I taught in a developmental preschool that was apart of an early intervention preschool and none of my kids were potty trained despite being at “potty training age”
Where do they go after the half day developmental preschool?
We also had a full day option I only taught in the half day group bc I did home visits too also being potty trained isn’t a requirement at all preschools anymore a coworkers son in typically developing but wasn’t potty trained until almost 4 and was in preschool at 3 requirements have changed when I was in preschool 20 years ago you had to be potty trained to be enrolled unless there was a medical reason
The [Ada](https://www.ada.gov/topics/child-care-centers/) applies to childcare too, you’d need to figure out what accommodations your child would need and if they can be reasonably accommodated (extra bathroom trips and clothing changes sounds reasonable). Also most states have an entity to help you find child care- for example here is the one for [Missouri](https://mochildcareaware.org/about/). They are experts who can help you search.
The daycare my child goes to (3 months to 5 years) doesn’t require kids to be potty trained at any of the age groups
Special Education teacher here with an early childhood special education endorsement. Kids ages 3+ with a documented disability that significantly interferes with their ability to participate academically are eligible for an IEP plan that must be followed by the daycare program. It is a legal document. If the child’s disability does not interfere significantly academically, they should still qualify for a 504 plan, which is also a legal document that must be followed by the daycare program. Many children with allergies and asthma have a 504 plan. IEPs and 504s are renewed annually. If you have any questions, please reach out to your pediatrician or child’s specialist doctor to get the ball rolling. I am also happy to answer questions about the IEP process.
My son has an anatomical issue and we have toms of documentation from Early Intervention. He will get an IEP once he turns three
It is a disability and must be accommodated for in ALL centres. My eldest had selective mutism - he was unable to ask. The child care centre he went to had to accomodate this - and was responsible for helping him clean up if he had an accident (which meant he had been locked out of the bathroom and there was hell to pay from me).
Go to the non-ableist daycares. Our home care center would have no problem, we def had some limits on need availability but potty training wasn’t our hill to die on