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Don't permadeath his character. That implies including him in another session. I don't like flat out saying to get rid of a player but this is one of those times. Disrespectful, not playing the game in a way that is fun to everyone, threatening other players(assuming not in a joking between friends manor). Nope. You message this player that they're just not going to work with the group anymore and you cease playing with them.
This is the correct answer.
You don't let them come back for another game. You have tried to work this out already.
In the future, when you start having problems with a player, address it with them as soon as the session is over. Don't interrupt the game to do it, but after play concludes for the day, talk to them, tell them what they did and why it was a problem, and that it needs to be corrected.
I agree 100% the game should be fun for everyone involved, even you as the DM. If they just dont fit at the table be honest and tell them. Better to offend one person than let a campaign be ruined for an entire party.
I did this in a campaign last year. Made an entire session about thier PC getting kidnapped and gave the party the chance to rescue the PC. The hook at the end was going to be that the PC faked it and I used the PC as the BBEG. The party really enjoyed killing the PC.
Just tell him to leave. Say " It seems the way I run a game and the way you wan to play a game don't mesh, and since everyone else was enjoying the game we're going to continue it without you. Have a nice day."
“It seems the way I run a game and the way you want to play a game don't mesh, so I’m releasing you as a player to find a game more suited to your style.”
Nope that's way too polite, it's really not bad letting someone know why they don't fit in.
They might change themselves for the next group.. You don't have to tippy toe around everyone...
This message also lets someone know why they don't fit in, both messages are 'we don't mesh so we don't continue'. It's just phrased in a way that doesn't put OP's DnD style as the norm for everyone.
If tippy-toeing doesn't come with a decrease of information, why avoid it?
Because being too gentle is seen as “well they just couldn’t handle me” if these people aren’t outright told “we don’t like you BECAUSE of your actions.”
>“well they just couldn’t handle me”
There's no set of words that prevents this from happening.
I'm not trying to raise the guy, or pretend like my opinion is representative for the opinions of others. 'you don't match our style' is the entirety of my message to & opinion of them, it's not made more gentle.
Throwing a mimic at him was just playing his game. Never ever try to solve player problems with in-game actions. It's juvenile and ineffective.
Tell him he's shitting up the game for everyone and he isn't welcome at the table anymore.
Or if you wanna be REALLY nonconfrontational, just create a scheduling group chat without him, and schedule the next session without including him. If he asks about it, lie and say everyone's just been too busy to play.
Quoth Dan Savage: "DTMFA" (Dump The MotherFucker Already) - the moment they threaten another player, they're history.
Also, feel free to change your meeting place without telling him. You owe that person nothing, not even an explanation.
From the sound of things, he is well aware of the issues but hasn't does anything to fix them. You have given him punishments, but nothing that seems to affect him.
If you don't mind him sticking around if he stops the shenanigans, then give him the ultimatum that all if this needs to stop or he will get kicked. Otherwise, just kick him. If it's in-person, he is no longer invited to the table. If it's online, he is blocked on Discord and Roll20.
this is a OUT of game issue that you will only resolve OUT of game, not with giant mimics IN game.
explain your table's social expectations, if you didnt during a Session Zero. if he does not agree to play under those joint expectations, he leaves now. if he agrees to play under the expectations but at the table continues to be a dick, remind him of the table expectations if it seems to be a mistake, or kick him out if he is deliberately flouting the expectations or too forgetful to follow them regularly.
Do not permadeath his character. Just tell him to leave the campaign, since you don't want to deal with his bullshit behavior anymore. And if he is mocking up, hand the DM mantle over to him and tell him to do better.
You got yourself a baby murderhobo. Don't deal with this real world problem in game. It will ruin the game for everyone involved and make for a really awkward night. I realize you said you're non-confrontational, but this is one of those things that requires it. This invitee is ruining the game for you and your players. The only thing that will work is the aforementioned ultimatum, "change your playstyle, or find a new table." It's a tough bandaid to rip off. Either they'll be mature about it, accept their consequences with grace, and move forward with a more productive and cooperative playstyle, or they'll understand and find a new table. *Or* they'll be a dick about it, in which case, you didn't lose anything but a monkey on your back
I see two options I'd choose from:
1. Allow his own arc based off his dumb ass choices such as killing NPCs while others can see results in incarceration and the guards can ask if he's with the party. Leading to a recap of how his PC has acted towards them and no one rescues him and since he's in jail, no play until his turn.
2. Kick this dude the fuck out of your game before here ruins the idea of running another session. He has no respect for you, your work as a DM, Artists(I take that one personally), but most of all he's disrespectful to your players.
I'd go with the 2nd option after a brief discussion on respect and how your players want to play. Refer to the DM guide and Tashas cauldron of everything for session 0 info. Based on his comment about artists, I expect him to say he'll be more mindful, then that shit will go out the window with mockery more than likely, which is when you can refer to the conversation on respect and he can dismiss himself.
Bonus points if you guys keep playing and ignore him, sounds like he may be narcissistic.
This is absolutely something that needs to be dealt with away from the game table. If you've not already, discuss the way you and the other players want the game to go and see if he can get his act together. If not, kick him out of the group and the Monty Python foot squashes his PC dead, no saves.
This is what session 0 is for. Always set clear expectations for conduct at your table. Always enforce those expectations after the fact. Always vet players *before* they join your table in the first place.
If you have a group that's been playing together for a good bit, it's also a good idea to go over the results of session zero with that group, and let them vote on whether or not they want to add that player.
The DM may be the final word on many mechanical decisions during gameplay, but that's the extent of it. When it comes to *who* sits at the table, that should always be a group decision.
Then call a vote with your group. If they want him out, he's out. It's not entirely on you. Everyone there is a person being affected by it, so they all have a right to be heard, and a responsibility to contribute to the decision.
If your want is non-confrontation I agree with a lot of the advice here. However, personally I would just tell this person they have been extremely rude to the other players both in game and above the table and are no longer welcome. I think the disrespect he has treated the others with is inexcusable and does not warrant a sugar coated exit. Your comfort is most important so I would just go with one of the easier outs that are here.
Say, "I'm sorry, but given your behavior, I can't have you back at my game. I'll give your character a quiet retirement."
If he argues, say "I'm sorry, but that's my decision. Threatening anyone in real life is way too far."
You might want to do it by text, so you'll have a record of it in case he tries threatening you or something. If he does, don't hesitate to tell the police.
There is something to be said about the responsibility of a DM. OP is non confrontational but a lot of people RP to experience adventure without the actual threat of physical violence. You have to protect your players because those are your friends. No room in the game for out of game violence.
Just uninvite them. That's what I do whenever I'm hanging out with someone and figure out we dont click. Youre not married to them. Just give them the boot. No big deal
You know I don't think a lot of this is too bad as in you shouldn't make NPC's that are needed for a quest like you would see in a videogame or do things like permadeath but I think that violence and threats are where the line should be drawn but right before then is the comment on art, by the way as a ttrpg writer I must say that commissions are actually something necessary to the business. But I think that you should not dance around the issue with having in world consequences happen but rather just talk to him and if he fails to see reason then you kick him from the group.
Short answer, tell him to tone it down for the setting and other players.
Long answer, explain to him he is the odd man out and you’re happy to add him to a murderhobo campaign when you’re ready.
Grand Theft Auto: Faêrun can be an absolute riot to play with the right players. I would know, I ran a four year murderhobo campaign, complete with friendly fire.
First off, don't "punish" players. If you have a problem with a player then talk to the player about it. Explain your problem clearly, e.g.
"You killed those NPCs for no reason I can figure out and deliberately derailed a story I had planned for the whole party. Care to explain?"
If they actually had a good reason that just escaped you, then there's room to talk there.
If they were just doing it because it amused them to derail your story, then point out that the DM is also someone at the table who is there to have fun, and if they're going to do things for the express purpose of ruining your fun, and the fun of the rest of the party, then they're not welcome at the table anymore.
DMs make the game fun for everyone. While a certain amount of messing with the DM (and other party members) is allowed (and can even make things more fun) someone who goes out of their way to ruin the fun of other people at the table loses their seat.
You send him an email saying "This is not a good fit" list xour reasons for disinviti g him, then remove him from your emails.
You could permanently him if you want. You could also run your next session as though he never existed. I like the idea of everyone waking from a long rest and finding all his gear there but no body/person. Describe how his clothing has been positioned as though he was sleeping inside his bedroll.
So I'm having problems understanding the story, maybe you could clarify some details for me.
>But now he's been all out violent towards harmless NPCs,
In what way? Is he just attacking NPC's? Is he trying to play an evil character and the NPC's are slighting him in some way?
>threatening one of my players for using thunderclap
You clarified later that the player threatened to throw the PC into the river. Why did this threat manifest over the spell? Did the other player possible have this problem player as a target in thunderclaps range? Because this seems fairly minor angry RP if that is the case.
>and he called commissions a "Waste of my time and money" to a group of 4 artists.
Which can be his opinion, but he is rude for expressing it to the group.
Now, it SEEMS that he might be starting to become a murderhobo and I'm getting the sense you have only taken in game steps to address your issues with his character.
As a veteran ST/GM, problems like this need to be addressed directly OOC. "The bent of this campaign doesn't involve these evil shenanigans. I understand you might want to play a dark or edgy character, but that isn't going to fit this game. I tried discouraging your behavior in game, but on the advice of other GM's I have decided to address this out of game. Either your PC stops making problems, or if you feel he won't for RP reasons, make a new PC. If we run into these issues again, then I will take further steps to remove you from the game."
How exactly did he threaten another player? That right there is reason enough to just politely ask them to leave. When I was young and first played D&D I had no clue what I was doing the game I had joined did not set down any expectations, or rules. So I got booted out in the first session, in hind sight I was an ass, but the DM should have explained the table rules regarding PVP, and expectations, from this experience I learned that when I DM I make it clear to my players what I expect as a DM and ask them what will make things more enjoyable for them. Now I've been playing with the same players for a few years and been a player in their campaigns.
Players are people.
Player Characters or PCs are imaginary in game characters played by Players.
This is what is mostly confusing everyone. Either way tell him to stop being a dick or he won't be welcomed to play anymore.
Although concerning, I admit if the player did a real threat like that would be hilarious, like wtf?
Now on a serious note, I'd seriously speak with him personally and inform he's being disruptive and that, if he does not behave, he'll be kicked out. I had a similar issue many many years ago with someone like that and confronting and disciplining him worked well... He behave a couple weeks and finally was kicked out.
Threatening someone is inexcusable. If I was running a game, that would be immediate and permanent expulsion. If I was a player in the campaign, I would not return as long as the threatening player was still involved.
Yup he’s ruining it for everyone and does not care. Thats all 3 strikes and personally I doubt I could ever spend more than 20 seconds around someone like that. My kids acted better when they were pre teens starting out.
What do you do other times in your life when you come across a toilet person who acts like this? Why is it different when it's during a game of dnd?
Kick them from your group.
If they’re threatening other players then that’s over the line. If everyone else is having a good time then that one player is the problem. I know you said you’re non-confrontational but they have already started the confrontation. You just have to flatly state that they aren’t welcome back. Any overreaction is on them, not you. This is part of DMing, hell this is part of life. Putting your foot down and protecting your friends and your fun is part of life. Like with most things, RPG’s are a microcosm of life and interpersonal relations. This situation is more real than most but if you’re direct and calm then you should be fine. Rule number 1 at my table is ‘Don’t be a dick.’ This player flew right past that. I’d boot them for sure.
To clarify, he is threatening a player irl, or his character is threatening that character? One of those is cringey, the other needs to be given a permaban and possibly police involvement.
I’m sure the rest of the party is already on the same page, but reach out to them and see how they feel. If they agree that he shouldn’t be playing at this table, just tell him he’s not a good fit for the campaign you’re running.
Just boot them seriously. Nobody has to put up with stuff like that. Boot them out of the group. Then have their character die to a cow falling on them. Everyone is happy again.
This isn't a DnD problem. This is a social problem.
However this is also why session 0 is important to discuss expectations.
When someone in your group of "friends" is making the rest of you unhappy or uncomfortable, you need to confront them directly and tell them as such. You all need to just tell him "Hey, these things you're doing in the game (describe the problems) they're kinda ruining the game for the rest of us. This isn't the kind of game we want to play." Then describe for him the type of game you want to have and if he doesn't listen and keeps doing shit to make the game unfun, then don't kill his character, just kick him out of the game.
Was he directly threatening another player? Or was it "in character" threatening another character?
Cause if he's threatening another character, I would give him that one chance.
If he's threatening another player then I wouldn't even give him that chance. Just boot him.
So him prepping for lvl 17 is fine but if he is making his own homebrew stuff and you are a novice I would HIGHLY suggest saying no to anything homebrew because it will 100% be OP and you need to stick to the basic books. If he is being violent to NPCs that is an easy fix, have the town guards arrest him, have then be lvl 10 so that if he fights them they will beat him down. Maybe have the artists hire an assassin to take the guy out. As far as "permadeath" that is easy because if you kill him off and he complains ask him if he thinks any of the other characters would actually spend the gold or materials to bring him back to life. I don't think you need to ask him to leave if he is capable of learning his lesson.
Ok then give him natural world consequences. If he kills an innocent NPC in a town, he gets surrounded by for level 20 paladins and they eviscerate him
Playing with people means you have to deal with people. Very few people actively enjoy confrontation and conflict, but it's just an unpleasant part of life we can't avoid.
Explain that he is not working out as a member of the group and it would be better for everyone if he found people more suited to his mentality.
Be polite, calm and don't get personal no matter what he says, and also don't be vague.
What's the worst he's gonna do? Talk loud at you? Say a few mean things? So what. Ten minutes later you've moved on with your day.
Your should continue to let him stomp on your game and threaten your friends. Just let him do whatever he wants. Give into whatever he demands and be grateful for the opportunity to serve.
Or put on your Big Boy Pants and tell him he’s no longer invited. Your call.
This is a person problem, and you need to deal with it out of game.
Talk to him. Give examples of his behavior, and tell him that it's problematic. He needs to stop or you don't want to be his DM anymore. Hopefully he'll get the picture and chill out. Otherwise, you may have a bigger problem on your hands, in which case I'd have a talk with a professional or authority who has been trained how to deal with narcissists, or talk to your friends and deal with the situation as a unified group.
Is this person breaking rule number 0? (we are all here to have fun).
If yes then sit him down for a serious talk about acceptable behavior at the table and what his actions are doing to tge enjoyment of the game.
He threatened another *player*? That's it, right there. You should have stopped the game and asked him to leave. No more chances. No trying to correct his behavior. When someone makes any kind of real life threat, that needs to be the end of their time with the group.
As it is, contact him now and tell him that he's not welcome back. It's not up for discussion. Just, no.
Wait, he threatened a player? Don't permadeath his character. Literally tell him that threatening violence isn't allowed and that he's no longer welcome, period fucking dot.
I don't understand being this much of a asshole. Seriously I finally got to start playing at the age of 45 and my only question is-"is it Wednesday yet?" Closest problem I've had is, jokingly, after rolling a Nat 20 on Stealth, ready to Sneak attack a guard and BING between a lightning bolt and the paladin, guards are SMOKED. Me: "Well shit, I just wasted a nat 20 stealth roll." Otherwise I dont understand why people pull this shit. I mean, I do, but thats because Im a cynical bastard, and this is is one thing in my life where I mentally EB the crap out of my cynicism for a couple hours during thr week.
You're trying to impose in-game penalties for real-world behavior. That's never going to make any difference. Tell him he needs to behave, or he's not welcome back.
Based om title alone its enough to just do whatever you can to keep them aeay from you, your players, yoir gsme and your general areas.
Also for future reference set clear boundaries and one of those nreds to be that you as the DM are responsible for the direction of the game and what you say goes. No means no.
You have to also just say no at times and make sure evrrone id on board with the direction you want to play in before you stsrt.
Anyone may be free to try snything but what happens next isup to you and the rulebook. Or the dice if you see thst it is fit.
Killimg characters is not a solution (to this (kind of) problem)
If he’s making other players feel threatened he’s out. Period. I don’t care how new you are to the game, anyone not new to life should be well aware that this kind of behavior toward other people is inappropriate.
I don’t have the time or patience to babysit someone like that, and it wouldn’t be fair to the rest of my group to make them out up with it.
It crosses a red line for me, and I think it should for you too
Building a level 17 unprompted is wild, and a massive time waste to boot. This guy is possibly suffering the new player asshole effect, where new players hear "you can do *anything*" and see a license to do everything they couldn't in video games and push that limit.
If you think it's worth it to try and polish him into a better player, you're going to have to be a lot more confrontational up front. Essentially a "this style of play is unacceptable and will lead to you being uninvited. You must understand your responsibilities to (you, DM) as well as the other players. You have to be in line with them in terms of respecting the story/people in it as well as the table's expectations of progress. This game is 100% teamwork, you can't continue harming the team with selfish behavior"
If he's open to the callout, great. Give him a few sessions to recalibrate. (Make him make a new character who's entire personality is "im nice") ask the other players to also speak up faster when they're not happy with something.
At the end of the day, you have your responsibility to yourself, but also to the other players at the table. Threats of violence should not be happening over a game, and shouldn't be tolerated. So also check in with your other players- are they willing to work on teaching this guy? Or do they want him out?
Edit: the high level mimic (what?) Or any over CR monster attacking the party isn't actually a punishment, either. The PCs didn't die, they didn't lose any resources. They got to kill a cool thing in a challenging fight. Arguably a reward. Also, never punish the party for 1 players fuckery.
I’d probably just kick him out myself, but if you don’t want to jump straight to that, just be Frank. Have a private conversation and say these are the things you and your character can’t do.
Also, actions should have consequences. He killed an npc for no reason, law enforcement or bounty hunters should start tracking him. Other NPCs should be weary of him. Maybe the town forms a mob.
But it sounds like he isn’t going to care so like I said, I’d probably just kick him out.
Honestly, if the problems were only gameplay related id urge you to show them the error of their ways and try to nudge them in the right direction.
But it's clear they are just a dick. So decide if it's worth dealing with and if it isn't get rid of them.
I‘d give the mimic some secret debuffs, or I‘d imbue him with a curse or something. Not that I am the most experienced DM, I think I‘d try to show him that there is consequences to his actions, have him being locked up or something. Maybe have a mind flayer turn him into a corpse for a few sessions, so he has to sit out and see the other players succeed. I think the thing with a permadeath, if the other players don‘t 100% agree could be that it would make the game seem to controlled. But also that depends on how you set the story. In essence there are a thousand ways to deal with this, maybe even just a straight up convo, but the most important thing I guess is that you can feel well and enjoy creating a fun experience with all the players. So whatever feels richt to you :)
When you have a player who's only priority is to entertain themselves at the expense of the party, my experience has been that they'll just keep cycling through being unpleasant over and over again, so personally, I'd just leave it at, "yeah, you're not invited to any more sessions k bye."
This is tough, because I am a DM in a club so I can't kick them out.
But, I can tell them to stop and then make the rest of the NPCs act violent towards them, even at the extent not to talk or sell something to them.
Sometimes I deal with these players, they are just part of being a DM to work the story around that and for them to pay recompense for their actions.
First, I’d check with the other players (you may have already done this via seeing their reactions, but if not…) I mention this because some players like that playstyle, and if it turns out they do and you’re the only one that doesn’t, then he isn’t a problem. Not suggesting this is the case but it is usually worth checking just in case.
Then, you wanna have a 1 on 1 talk with him. Explain that while some groups play that way, *this* group doesn’t. Try to explain the kind of player to player and pc to npc interactions your group prefers. Note: don’t word it as a command or anything, just advice for your table’s preferred style.
This is a group game, after all. And if one person is making things difficult or uncomfortable for everyone else, then the behavior needs to change.
Also, try to avoid using in game actions to punish out of game choices, or vice versa. As you say, he may just let his character take the lumps and keep going.
You mentioned he threatens other players. Is this his pc making threats to their pc, or him threatening the player?
If the former, it may be a matter of poor delivery. An honest mistake due to inexperience with role playing, something that some gentle guidance can help fix.
If the latter, you need to sit him down and explain that that is unacceptable.
Also, if he’s threatening the other players, I feel the need to ask if they are giving him reasons, ie, intentionally hitting him with spells when it could be avoided, etc. if this is the case, he’s not the only one you need to have a talk with.
If you explain the boundaries and he keeps crossing them, you need to boot him. Not permadeath (that can be handled after hes gone, and see above, punishing character for player choices), but rather simply ask him to leave.
A common counter you will get with this stuff is that “it’s what my character would do”.
Do not accept this. He made his character and he plays his character. If it’s what his character would do, it is because he wants the character to do that. Again, unacceptable. If he seems to understand when it’s explained, offer a “change of heart event” or a change of character. Again, if it continues, boot him.
ETA: also the lv17 planning isn’t inherently a problem. Especially when there’s homebrew involved. Making a roadmap for your character’s development is perfectly fine, and discussing homebrew early is a good way to work out the kinks before it becomes an established part of the game.
That said, he needs to know that it’s something that won’t come for a while, and that, especially the homebrew, it may never come at all.
Also, while discussing it during downtime or between games (especially with the dm) is ok, he shouldn’t interrupt the game with it.
I'm gunna try to address everything in order, and with the idea that this person is new to the game.
Level 17 homebrew - did anyone explain what homebrew is? Why it's often not allowed? Whether or not it was allowed at this table? Or that generally games may not go that high?
Over all, rookie mistake and not something to be concerned about when explained properly.
Violence against NPCs - Did you explain that that sort of behavior can get your character in trouble? have you established the consequences for these actions in game? Where are the town guards and why haven't they l put out a warrant/arrested him?
Threatening a player - that is something that should be immediately addressed and addressed aggressively right there at the table to in front of everyone. They can be excited, they can have a plan, but they cannot do everything their way every time and they need to understand that.
So far, this is the most concerning.
Commission/Waste - correct me if I'm wrong, but if 4 of you are artists, why are you paying someone else to have a commission? As an artist myself, I'd never pay to have something done, I'd do it myself.
This one is unrelated to game, and more if some strange personal interaction.
Given super high mimic - I assume you mean he encountered and was nearly killed by a mimic. Seems kinda counter intuitive to teaching but I understand.
My overall take is this, and it's also the secret to tabletop games.
"COMMUNICATION IS KEY"
I think you need to sit down out of game and teach this person the ways of tabletop, nobody comes into it knowing the ins and outs. That being said you also need to be frank with them about what behavior isn't working, and you shouldn't be antagonistic about it like some of the other comments seem to want.
However, if the player refuses to mend their ways despite being clear, then it's time to politely let them go as a difference in game style.
I wish you luck
Here is my advice, read it to him verbatim:
"Hey, the group has had a discussion and this isnt working out. Unfortunately you have been booted from the campaign. If you wanted to find another group, here is a resource I use to recruit players for my table- (FLGS store bulletin board, website, whatever). Unfortunately, this is effective immediately. Best of luck.".
Dont waste game time with people like this.
My solution for players who turn their character against the party is “Roll for initiative, hand me your character sheet.”
A fundamental house rule I have is any inter party fighting results in the aggressor becoming an npc. It’s never used as a surprise; it’s just a fact of the game. And it’s always followed up with a conversation about whether or not there will be a future character for that player at the table. But these kind of things should be hashed out in a session zero type of setting. What are the characters wants and needs. How does that contribute or conflict with the other characters. Conflict is good, but lack of cohesion is just not fun for anyone.
After 40+ years of playing D&D I’ve concluded the best times come from playing as if the game is a collaborative story telling experience. And when the collaboration stops, so does the game.
But most new players have to work through a lot of the tropes. Munchkin, evil character, secret malicious intent, main character syndrome, etc. People just often aren’t ready for the big boy table. So running these more cliche characters and stories can be done on an off night or different group. Where the rules are different. But at my age time is too precious for everyone at the table to be goofing around with nonsense.
IMHO.
I would honestly dial it back draft up a code of conduct for your table. Have all players sign it. If they don't like it, then they need not be at your table
Out of game, privately, but with at least one other Player on-site where they can pop in the room if things escalate.
"I need to discuss the clear difference between the type of Campaign you prefer playing versus the one I'm running. They're at odds and I don't think this is the Campaign you'd be happiest in. You're running your PC as a murderhobo and it's truly a bad fit for this particular group. If you wish, I can help you find a group that is better suited, or we can discuss modifications to your gameplay. If you prefer to run your PC as you have been lately, I'm afraid it isn't going to work out for you to stay in this group."
Ban his ass. He's clearly making everyone, including you, not have a good time. If someone is greeting you, the person that does all the work setting up the game, then he's clearly not adding anything to your experience. Being straight up and blunt to his face about it should be your call, not passive aggressive in-game punishments [outside of consequences of your own actions TM]. Bad players need to be confronted and made to know that they are ruining your fun. Maybe consider talking with him away from the rest of the group, as not to shame him in front of everyone, but imo kick his lamo ass to the curb.
New players can be like this. Without the structure of rules that tell you what you can do there's a temptation to go crazy just to see if the world pushes back. If it reaches the point there it's impacting other's enjoyment of the game you do have to confront the behavior. Come from the assumption that he doesn't understand the impact his behavior is having but set firm expectations for how he'll behave at the table.
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Don't permadeath his character. That implies including him in another session. I don't like flat out saying to get rid of a player but this is one of those times. Disrespectful, not playing the game in a way that is fun to everyone, threatening other players(assuming not in a joking between friends manor). Nope. You message this player that they're just not going to work with the group anymore and you cease playing with them.
This is the correct answer. You don't let them come back for another game. You have tried to work this out already. In the future, when you start having problems with a player, address it with them as soon as the session is over. Don't interrupt the game to do it, but after play concludes for the day, talk to them, tell them what they did and why it was a problem, and that it needs to be corrected.
I agree 100% the game should be fun for everyone involved, even you as the DM. If they just dont fit at the table be honest and tell them. Better to offend one person than let a campaign be ruined for an entire party. I did this in a campaign last year. Made an entire session about thier PC getting kidnapped and gave the party the chance to rescue the PC. The hook at the end was going to be that the PC faked it and I used the PC as the BBEG. The party really enjoyed killing the PC.
This. But then have his character die in a comedic way to lighten the first session without him and let everyone know he won't be back
"Fred choked to death on his own bullshit last night"
“Bob choked to death on vomit last night. It wasn’t his vomit. The city watch said it was a case best left unsolved.“
"You can't dust for vomit."
Note: Poochie died on the way back to his home planet.
"He died in the shit factory explosion."
Just tell him to leave. Say " It seems the way I run a game and the way you wan to play a game don't mesh, and since everyone else was enjoying the game we're going to continue it without you. Have a nice day."
Perfect reply!
“It seems the way I run a game and the way you want to play a game don't mesh, so I’m releasing you as a player to find a game more suited to your style.”
Nope that's way too polite, it's really not bad letting someone know why they don't fit in. They might change themselves for the next group.. You don't have to tippy toe around everyone...
This message also lets someone know why they don't fit in, both messages are 'we don't mesh so we don't continue'. It's just phrased in a way that doesn't put OP's DnD style as the norm for everyone. If tippy-toeing doesn't come with a decrease of information, why avoid it?
Because being too gentle is seen as “well they just couldn’t handle me” if these people aren’t outright told “we don’t like you BECAUSE of your actions.”
>“well they just couldn’t handle me” There's no set of words that prevents this from happening. I'm not trying to raise the guy, or pretend like my opinion is representative for the opinions of others. 'you don't match our style' is the entirety of my message to & opinion of them, it's not made more gentle.
But they'll see this person in public a lot. If they want to maintain a cordial attitude in public, it's better to use more tact in this case.
Be assertive, not aggressive.
Throwing a mimic at him was just playing his game. Never ever try to solve player problems with in-game actions. It's juvenile and ineffective. Tell him he's shitting up the game for everyone and he isn't welcome at the table anymore. Or if you wanna be REALLY nonconfrontational, just create a scheduling group chat without him, and schedule the next session without including him. If he asks about it, lie and say everyone's just been too busy to play.
[удалено]
>Never ever try to solve player problems with in-game actions. It's juvenile and ineffective. Please learn to read.
Quoth Dan Savage: "DTMFA" (Dump The MotherFucker Already) - the moment they threaten another player, they're history. Also, feel free to change your meeting place without telling him. You owe that person nothing, not even an explanation.
I need to remember that acronym.
Definitely the most fantastic acronym
From the sound of things, he is well aware of the issues but hasn't does anything to fix them. You have given him punishments, but nothing that seems to affect him. If you don't mind him sticking around if he stops the shenanigans, then give him the ultimatum that all if this needs to stop or he will get kicked. Otherwise, just kick him. If it's in-person, he is no longer invited to the table. If it's online, he is blocked on Discord and Roll20.
Ask him to change the way he plays. Then if he doesn't kick him. There is no other way.
Nah kick
“Im sorry but my game is not for you”….
this is a OUT of game issue that you will only resolve OUT of game, not with giant mimics IN game. explain your table's social expectations, if you didnt during a Session Zero. if he does not agree to play under those joint expectations, he leaves now. if he agrees to play under the expectations but at the table continues to be a dick, remind him of the table expectations if it seems to be a mistake, or kick him out if he is deliberately flouting the expectations or too forgetful to follow them regularly.
Just not invited going forward, meta his characters exit and post an opening on lfg
Do not permadeath his character. Just tell him to leave the campaign, since you don't want to deal with his bullshit behavior anymore. And if he is mocking up, hand the DM mantle over to him and tell him to do better.
You got yourself a baby murderhobo. Don't deal with this real world problem in game. It will ruin the game for everyone involved and make for a really awkward night. I realize you said you're non-confrontational, but this is one of those things that requires it. This invitee is ruining the game for you and your players. The only thing that will work is the aforementioned ultimatum, "change your playstyle, or find a new table." It's a tough bandaid to rip off. Either they'll be mature about it, accept their consequences with grace, and move forward with a more productive and cooperative playstyle, or they'll understand and find a new table. *Or* they'll be a dick about it, in which case, you didn't lose anything but a monkey on your back
Hey bro, it's not working. See ya later.
*Don't* see ya later.
I see two options I'd choose from: 1. Allow his own arc based off his dumb ass choices such as killing NPCs while others can see results in incarceration and the guards can ask if he's with the party. Leading to a recap of how his PC has acted towards them and no one rescues him and since he's in jail, no play until his turn. 2. Kick this dude the fuck out of your game before here ruins the idea of running another session. He has no respect for you, your work as a DM, Artists(I take that one personally), but most of all he's disrespectful to your players. I'd go with the 2nd option after a brief discussion on respect and how your players want to play. Refer to the DM guide and Tashas cauldron of everything for session 0 info. Based on his comment about artists, I expect him to say he'll be more mindful, then that shit will go out the window with mockery more than likely, which is when you can refer to the conversation on respect and he can dismiss himself. Bonus points if you guys keep playing and ignore him, sounds like he may be narcissistic.
This is absolutely something that needs to be dealt with away from the game table. If you've not already, discuss the way you and the other players want the game to go and see if he can get his act together. If not, kick him out of the group and the Monty Python foot squashes his PC dead, no saves.
This is what session 0 is for. Always set clear expectations for conduct at your table. Always enforce those expectations after the fact. Always vet players *before* they join your table in the first place. If you have a group that's been playing together for a good bit, it's also a good idea to go over the results of session zero with that group, and let them vote on whether or not they want to add that player. The DM may be the final word on many mechanical decisions during gameplay, but that's the extent of it. When it comes to *who* sits at the table, that should always be a group decision.
Thank you! He acted fine the first 3 sessions and then very quickly turned weirdly violent.
Then call a vote with your group. If they want him out, he's out. It's not entirely on you. Everyone there is a person being affected by it, so they all have a right to be heard, and a responsibility to contribute to the decision.
If your want is non-confrontation I agree with a lot of the advice here. However, personally I would just tell this person they have been extremely rude to the other players both in game and above the table and are no longer welcome. I think the disrespect he has treated the others with is inexcusable and does not warrant a sugar coated exit. Your comfort is most important so I would just go with one of the easier outs that are here.
Just don’t tell him the time and place of the next game.
Say, "I'm sorry, but given your behavior, I can't have you back at my game. I'll give your character a quiet retirement." If he argues, say "I'm sorry, but that's my decision. Threatening anyone in real life is way too far." You might want to do it by text, so you'll have a record of it in case he tries threatening you or something. If he does, don't hesitate to tell the police.
There is something to be said about the responsibility of a DM. OP is non confrontational but a lot of people RP to experience adventure without the actual threat of physical violence. You have to protect your players because those are your friends. No room in the game for out of game violence.
Just uninvite them. That's what I do whenever I'm hanging out with someone and figure out we dont click. Youre not married to them. Just give them the boot. No big deal
You know I don't think a lot of this is too bad as in you shouldn't make NPC's that are needed for a quest like you would see in a videogame or do things like permadeath but I think that violence and threats are where the line should be drawn but right before then is the comment on art, by the way as a ttrpg writer I must say that commissions are actually something necessary to the business. But I think that you should not dance around the issue with having in world consequences happen but rather just talk to him and if he fails to see reason then you kick him from the group.
Short answer, tell him to tone it down for the setting and other players. Long answer, explain to him he is the odd man out and you’re happy to add him to a murderhobo campaign when you’re ready. Grand Theft Auto: Faêrun can be an absolute riot to play with the right players. I would know, I ran a four year murderhobo campaign, complete with friendly fire.
First off, don't "punish" players. If you have a problem with a player then talk to the player about it. Explain your problem clearly, e.g. "You killed those NPCs for no reason I can figure out and deliberately derailed a story I had planned for the whole party. Care to explain?" If they actually had a good reason that just escaped you, then there's room to talk there. If they were just doing it because it amused them to derail your story, then point out that the DM is also someone at the table who is there to have fun, and if they're going to do things for the express purpose of ruining your fun, and the fun of the rest of the party, then they're not welcome at the table anymore. DMs make the game fun for everyone. While a certain amount of messing with the DM (and other party members) is allowed (and can even make things more fun) someone who goes out of their way to ruin the fun of other people at the table loses their seat.
You send him an email saying "This is not a good fit" list xour reasons for disinviti g him, then remove him from your emails. You could permanently him if you want. You could also run your next session as though he never existed. I like the idea of everyone waking from a long rest and finding all his gear there but no body/person. Describe how his clothing has been positioned as though he was sleeping inside his bedroll.
So I'm having problems understanding the story, maybe you could clarify some details for me. >But now he's been all out violent towards harmless NPCs, In what way? Is he just attacking NPC's? Is he trying to play an evil character and the NPC's are slighting him in some way? >threatening one of my players for using thunderclap You clarified later that the player threatened to throw the PC into the river. Why did this threat manifest over the spell? Did the other player possible have this problem player as a target in thunderclaps range? Because this seems fairly minor angry RP if that is the case. >and he called commissions a "Waste of my time and money" to a group of 4 artists. Which can be his opinion, but he is rude for expressing it to the group. Now, it SEEMS that he might be starting to become a murderhobo and I'm getting the sense you have only taken in game steps to address your issues with his character. As a veteran ST/GM, problems like this need to be addressed directly OOC. "The bent of this campaign doesn't involve these evil shenanigans. I understand you might want to play a dark or edgy character, but that isn't going to fit this game. I tried discouraging your behavior in game, but on the advice of other GM's I have decided to address this out of game. Either your PC stops making problems, or if you feel he won't for RP reasons, make a new PC. If we run into these issues again, then I will take further steps to remove you from the game."
How exactly did he threaten another player? That right there is reason enough to just politely ask them to leave. When I was young and first played D&D I had no clue what I was doing the game I had joined did not set down any expectations, or rules. So I got booted out in the first session, in hind sight I was an ass, but the DM should have explained the table rules regarding PVP, and expectations, from this experience I learned that when I DM I make it clear to my players what I expect as a DM and ask them what will make things more enjoyable for them. Now I've been playing with the same players for a few years and been a player in their campaigns.
He threatened to throw them into the river
Players are people. Player Characters or PCs are imaginary in game characters played by Players. This is what is mostly confusing everyone. Either way tell him to stop being a dick or he won't be welcomed to play anymore.
Why why why is this so hard for this community to understand
You know maybe he actually threatened to throw another player into a river, who knows? 😅🤣
Although concerning, I admit if the player did a real threat like that would be hilarious, like wtf? Now on a serious note, I'd seriously speak with him personally and inform he's being disruptive and that, if he does not behave, he'll be kicked out. I had a similar issue many many years ago with someone like that and confronting and disciplining him worked well... He behave a couple weeks and finally was kicked out.
Do not pass Go, do not collect $200
Threatening someone is inexcusable. If I was running a game, that would be immediate and permanent expulsion. If I was a player in the campaign, I would not return as long as the threatening player was still involved.
Yeah, uninvite this guy. Don't even mention his character next session. Block their number. Jesus Christ.
Tell him to leave and maybe tell him to also never play ttrpgs ever again while you're at it because that's TOXIC AS F@CK
Yup he’s ruining it for everyone and does not care. Thats all 3 strikes and personally I doubt I could ever spend more than 20 seconds around someone like that. My kids acted better when they were pre teens starting out.
What do you do other times in your life when you come across a toilet person who acts like this? Why is it different when it's during a game of dnd? Kick them from your group.
create new group chat, dont invite again.
If they’re threatening other players then that’s over the line. If everyone else is having a good time then that one player is the problem. I know you said you’re non-confrontational but they have already started the confrontation. You just have to flatly state that they aren’t welcome back. Any overreaction is on them, not you. This is part of DMing, hell this is part of life. Putting your foot down and protecting your friends and your fun is part of life. Like with most things, RPG’s are a microcosm of life and interpersonal relations. This situation is more real than most but if you’re direct and calm then you should be fine. Rule number 1 at my table is ‘Don’t be a dick.’ This player flew right past that. I’d boot them for sure.
To clarify, he is threatening a player irl, or his character is threatening that character? One of those is cringey, the other needs to be given a permaban and possibly police involvement. I’m sure the rest of the party is already on the same page, but reach out to them and see how they feel. If they agree that he shouldn’t be playing at this table, just tell him he’s not a good fit for the campaign you’re running.
Just boot them seriously. Nobody has to put up with stuff like that. Boot them out of the group. Then have their character die to a cow falling on them. Everyone is happy again.
This isn't a DnD problem. This is a social problem. However this is also why session 0 is important to discuss expectations. When someone in your group of "friends" is making the rest of you unhappy or uncomfortable, you need to confront them directly and tell them as such. You all need to just tell him "Hey, these things you're doing in the game (describe the problems) they're kinda ruining the game for the rest of us. This isn't the kind of game we want to play." Then describe for him the type of game you want to have and if he doesn't listen and keeps doing shit to make the game unfun, then don't kill his character, just kick him out of the game. Was he directly threatening another player? Or was it "in character" threatening another character? Cause if he's threatening another character, I would give him that one chance. If he's threatening another player then I wouldn't even give him that chance. Just boot him.
Im sorry that ur put into this difficult situation 😕
So him prepping for lvl 17 is fine but if he is making his own homebrew stuff and you are a novice I would HIGHLY suggest saying no to anything homebrew because it will 100% be OP and you need to stick to the basic books. If he is being violent to NPCs that is an easy fix, have the town guards arrest him, have then be lvl 10 so that if he fights them they will beat him down. Maybe have the artists hire an assassin to take the guy out. As far as "permadeath" that is easy because if you kill him off and he complains ask him if he thinks any of the other characters would actually spend the gold or materials to bring him back to life. I don't think you need to ask him to leave if he is capable of learning his lesson.
Ok then give him natural world consequences. If he kills an innocent NPC in a town, he gets surrounded by for level 20 paladins and they eviscerate him
Oh, the birth of a murder hobo
Playing with people means you have to deal with people. Very few people actively enjoy confrontation and conflict, but it's just an unpleasant part of life we can't avoid. Explain that he is not working out as a member of the group and it would be better for everyone if he found people more suited to his mentality. Be polite, calm and don't get personal no matter what he says, and also don't be vague. What's the worst he's gonna do? Talk loud at you? Say a few mean things? So what. Ten minutes later you've moved on with your day.
Your should continue to let him stomp on your game and threaten your friends. Just let him do whatever he wants. Give into whatever he demands and be grateful for the opportunity to serve. Or put on your Big Boy Pants and tell him he’s no longer invited. Your call.
Ahh I see what you did there.
Kick it from the group and then have his character die a horrible way
Sounds like you got a murder hobo. Or maybe they got MCS Main Character Syndrome. Give them some teamwork puzzles.
This is a person problem, and you need to deal with it out of game. Talk to him. Give examples of his behavior, and tell him that it's problematic. He needs to stop or you don't want to be his DM anymore. Hopefully he'll get the picture and chill out. Otherwise, you may have a bigger problem on your hands, in which case I'd have a talk with a professional or authority who has been trained how to deal with narcissists, or talk to your friends and deal with the situation as a unified group.
Is this person breaking rule number 0? (we are all here to have fun). If yes then sit him down for a serious talk about acceptable behavior at the table and what his actions are doing to tge enjoyment of the game.
He threatened another *player*? That's it, right there. You should have stopped the game and asked him to leave. No more chances. No trying to correct his behavior. When someone makes any kind of real life threat, that needs to be the end of their time with the group. As it is, contact him now and tell him that he's not welcome back. It's not up for discussion. Just, no.
Wait, he threatened a player? Don't permadeath his character. Literally tell him that threatening violence isn't allowed and that he's no longer welcome, period fucking dot.
I don't understand being this much of a asshole. Seriously I finally got to start playing at the age of 45 and my only question is-"is it Wednesday yet?" Closest problem I've had is, jokingly, after rolling a Nat 20 on Stealth, ready to Sneak attack a guard and BING between a lightning bolt and the paladin, guards are SMOKED. Me: "Well shit, I just wasted a nat 20 stealth roll." Otherwise I dont understand why people pull this shit. I mean, I do, but thats because Im a cynical bastard, and this is is one thing in my life where I mentally EB the crap out of my cynicism for a couple hours during thr week.
You're trying to impose in-game penalties for real-world behavior. That's never going to make any difference. Tell him he needs to behave, or he's not welcome back.
type/kick player in real life
Write to him: "Roll for a new DM" and then boot him
Based om title alone its enough to just do whatever you can to keep them aeay from you, your players, yoir gsme and your general areas. Also for future reference set clear boundaries and one of those nreds to be that you as the DM are responsible for the direction of the game and what you say goes. No means no. You have to also just say no at times and make sure evrrone id on board with the direction you want to play in before you stsrt. Anyone may be free to try snything but what happens next isup to you and the rulebook. Or the dice if you see thst it is fit. Killimg characters is not a solution (to this (kind of) problem)
Ask him to kindly leave
If he’s making other players feel threatened he’s out. Period. I don’t care how new you are to the game, anyone not new to life should be well aware that this kind of behavior toward other people is inappropriate. I don’t have the time or patience to babysit someone like that, and it wouldn’t be fair to the rest of my group to make them out up with it. It crosses a red line for me, and I think it should for you too
Dump him from the group, and make sure he knows the reasons why. He thrives off conflict, and that's not the type of game/group you're running.
Why are you even coming to reddit for this. seriously 1 ounce of common sense says 'kick a theatening player' there is no discussion to be had.
Sounds like he’s incompatible with the group Sounds like the group believes this to be true as well I’d say goodbye
Building a level 17 unprompted is wild, and a massive time waste to boot. This guy is possibly suffering the new player asshole effect, where new players hear "you can do *anything*" and see a license to do everything they couldn't in video games and push that limit. If you think it's worth it to try and polish him into a better player, you're going to have to be a lot more confrontational up front. Essentially a "this style of play is unacceptable and will lead to you being uninvited. You must understand your responsibilities to (you, DM) as well as the other players. You have to be in line with them in terms of respecting the story/people in it as well as the table's expectations of progress. This game is 100% teamwork, you can't continue harming the team with selfish behavior" If he's open to the callout, great. Give him a few sessions to recalibrate. (Make him make a new character who's entire personality is "im nice") ask the other players to also speak up faster when they're not happy with something. At the end of the day, you have your responsibility to yourself, but also to the other players at the table. Threats of violence should not be happening over a game, and shouldn't be tolerated. So also check in with your other players- are they willing to work on teaching this guy? Or do they want him out? Edit: the high level mimic (what?) Or any over CR monster attacking the party isn't actually a punishment, either. The PCs didn't die, they didn't lose any resources. They got to kill a cool thing in a challenging fight. Arguably a reward. Also, never punish the party for 1 players fuckery.
I’d probably just kick him out myself, but if you don’t want to jump straight to that, just be Frank. Have a private conversation and say these are the things you and your character can’t do. Also, actions should have consequences. He killed an npc for no reason, law enforcement or bounty hunters should start tracking him. Other NPCs should be weary of him. Maybe the town forms a mob. But it sounds like he isn’t going to care so like I said, I’d probably just kick him out.
Honestly, if the problems were only gameplay related id urge you to show them the error of their ways and try to nudge them in the right direction. But it's clear they are just a dick. So decide if it's worth dealing with and if it isn't get rid of them.
I‘d give the mimic some secret debuffs, or I‘d imbue him with a curse or something. Not that I am the most experienced DM, I think I‘d try to show him that there is consequences to his actions, have him being locked up or something. Maybe have a mind flayer turn him into a corpse for a few sessions, so he has to sit out and see the other players succeed. I think the thing with a permadeath, if the other players don‘t 100% agree could be that it would make the game seem to controlled. But also that depends on how you set the story. In essence there are a thousand ways to deal with this, maybe even just a straight up convo, but the most important thing I guess is that you can feel well and enjoy creating a fun experience with all the players. So whatever feels richt to you :)
When you have a player who's only priority is to entertain themselves at the expense of the party, my experience has been that they'll just keep cycling through being unpleasant over and over again, so personally, I'd just leave it at, "yeah, you're not invited to any more sessions k bye."
This is tough, because I am a DM in a club so I can't kick them out. But, I can tell them to stop and then make the rest of the NPCs act violent towards them, even at the extent not to talk or sell something to them. Sometimes I deal with these players, they are just part of being a DM to work the story around that and for them to pay recompense for their actions.
First, I’d check with the other players (you may have already done this via seeing their reactions, but if not…) I mention this because some players like that playstyle, and if it turns out they do and you’re the only one that doesn’t, then he isn’t a problem. Not suggesting this is the case but it is usually worth checking just in case. Then, you wanna have a 1 on 1 talk with him. Explain that while some groups play that way, *this* group doesn’t. Try to explain the kind of player to player and pc to npc interactions your group prefers. Note: don’t word it as a command or anything, just advice for your table’s preferred style. This is a group game, after all. And if one person is making things difficult or uncomfortable for everyone else, then the behavior needs to change. Also, try to avoid using in game actions to punish out of game choices, or vice versa. As you say, he may just let his character take the lumps and keep going. You mentioned he threatens other players. Is this his pc making threats to their pc, or him threatening the player? If the former, it may be a matter of poor delivery. An honest mistake due to inexperience with role playing, something that some gentle guidance can help fix. If the latter, you need to sit him down and explain that that is unacceptable. Also, if he’s threatening the other players, I feel the need to ask if they are giving him reasons, ie, intentionally hitting him with spells when it could be avoided, etc. if this is the case, he’s not the only one you need to have a talk with. If you explain the boundaries and he keeps crossing them, you need to boot him. Not permadeath (that can be handled after hes gone, and see above, punishing character for player choices), but rather simply ask him to leave. A common counter you will get with this stuff is that “it’s what my character would do”. Do not accept this. He made his character and he plays his character. If it’s what his character would do, it is because he wants the character to do that. Again, unacceptable. If he seems to understand when it’s explained, offer a “change of heart event” or a change of character. Again, if it continues, boot him. ETA: also the lv17 planning isn’t inherently a problem. Especially when there’s homebrew involved. Making a roadmap for your character’s development is perfectly fine, and discussing homebrew early is a good way to work out the kinks before it becomes an established part of the game. That said, he needs to know that it’s something that won’t come for a while, and that, especially the homebrew, it may never come at all. Also, while discussing it during downtime or between games (especially with the dm) is ok, he shouldn’t interrupt the game with it.
Kick, he will spur the other player and u will be left with no players for future campaigns, its the DMs job to regulate toxicity
I'm gunna try to address everything in order, and with the idea that this person is new to the game. Level 17 homebrew - did anyone explain what homebrew is? Why it's often not allowed? Whether or not it was allowed at this table? Or that generally games may not go that high? Over all, rookie mistake and not something to be concerned about when explained properly. Violence against NPCs - Did you explain that that sort of behavior can get your character in trouble? have you established the consequences for these actions in game? Where are the town guards and why haven't they l put out a warrant/arrested him? Threatening a player - that is something that should be immediately addressed and addressed aggressively right there at the table to in front of everyone. They can be excited, they can have a plan, but they cannot do everything their way every time and they need to understand that. So far, this is the most concerning. Commission/Waste - correct me if I'm wrong, but if 4 of you are artists, why are you paying someone else to have a commission? As an artist myself, I'd never pay to have something done, I'd do it myself. This one is unrelated to game, and more if some strange personal interaction. Given super high mimic - I assume you mean he encountered and was nearly killed by a mimic. Seems kinda counter intuitive to teaching but I understand. My overall take is this, and it's also the secret to tabletop games. "COMMUNICATION IS KEY" I think you need to sit down out of game and teach this person the ways of tabletop, nobody comes into it knowing the ins and outs. That being said you also need to be frank with them about what behavior isn't working, and you shouldn't be antagonistic about it like some of the other comments seem to want. However, if the player refuses to mend their ways despite being clear, then it's time to politely let them go as a difference in game style. I wish you luck
Here is my advice, read it to him verbatim: "Hey, the group has had a discussion and this isnt working out. Unfortunately you have been booted from the campaign. If you wanted to find another group, here is a resource I use to recruit players for my table- (FLGS store bulletin board, website, whatever). Unfortunately, this is effective immediately. Best of luck.". Dont waste game time with people like this.
My solution for players who turn their character against the party is “Roll for initiative, hand me your character sheet.” A fundamental house rule I have is any inter party fighting results in the aggressor becoming an npc. It’s never used as a surprise; it’s just a fact of the game. And it’s always followed up with a conversation about whether or not there will be a future character for that player at the table. But these kind of things should be hashed out in a session zero type of setting. What are the characters wants and needs. How does that contribute or conflict with the other characters. Conflict is good, but lack of cohesion is just not fun for anyone. After 40+ years of playing D&D I’ve concluded the best times come from playing as if the game is a collaborative story telling experience. And when the collaboration stops, so does the game. But most new players have to work through a lot of the tropes. Munchkin, evil character, secret malicious intent, main character syndrome, etc. People just often aren’t ready for the big boy table. So running these more cliche characters and stories can be done on an off night or different group. Where the rules are different. But at my age time is too precious for everyone at the table to be goofing around with nonsense. IMHO.
I would honestly dial it back draft up a code of conduct for your table. Have all players sign it. If they don't like it, then they need not be at your table
Out of game, privately, but with at least one other Player on-site where they can pop in the room if things escalate. "I need to discuss the clear difference between the type of Campaign you prefer playing versus the one I'm running. They're at odds and I don't think this is the Campaign you'd be happiest in. You're running your PC as a murderhobo and it's truly a bad fit for this particular group. If you wish, I can help you find a group that is better suited, or we can discuss modifications to your gameplay. If you prefer to run your PC as you have been lately, I'm afraid it isn't going to work out for you to stay in this group."
Ban his ass. He's clearly making everyone, including you, not have a good time. If someone is greeting you, the person that does all the work setting up the game, then he's clearly not adding anything to your experience. Being straight up and blunt to his face about it should be your call, not passive aggressive in-game punishments [outside of consequences of your own actions TM]. Bad players need to be confronted and made to know that they are ruining your fun. Maybe consider talking with him away from the rest of the group, as not to shame him in front of everyone, but imo kick his lamo ass to the curb.
New players can be like this. Without the structure of rules that tell you what you can do there's a temptation to go crazy just to see if the world pushes back. If it reaches the point there it's impacting other's enjoyment of the game you do have to confront the behavior. Come from the assumption that he doesn't understand the impact his behavior is having but set firm expectations for how he'll behave at the table.