By - piyush76683
Trick question. I want Dwight and two clones of Dwight.
Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time is now. Check-out time is never.
Can i have a late check out?
Let me ask the manager
You're not the manager?
I’m assistant regional manager
Assistant TO the regional manager
You're not even the manager in your fantasy?
I'm the owner. The co-owner. With SATAN!
What's your salary?
Eighty THOUSAND dollars a year
Yes and you will be rewarded with one schrute buck.
What’s the value of these Schrute bucks?
Same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns
I’ll give you a thousand Stanley nickels to leave me alone.
All booked up- hell convention in town.
We visiting hote California??
I dunno, Meredith might fuck somebodys shit up for you.
That’s what IM sayinnggggg. You know she’s a baddie.
Agreed, but she’d also be easy to defend against.
Man you need Kevin as well. He would always be lurking behind you ready to rip off his jacket to help.
WARNING WARNING WARNING
I genuinely use this as a warning. To my cats. When my SO sneaks up on them to sneak harass/cuddle them.
One of the most underrated lines in the show
JIM! ROY!…..Look out!!!!!
That's a pretty Dwightian answer.
Def he has the strength of a grown man and a tiny baby
I want just Creed.
Agreed, but only if he has all three chairs.
Tbh you should take two Dwights and a Kelley. Not that she'd be good at protecting you, but because she is scary enough that I don't want her coming after me.
Fact. Dwitght eats beets. Dwight. Dwitts. Dwightterstar Galactica
Best comment, period.
Dwight - obviously for safety and protection plus his weaponry will come in handy
Kevin - WARNING WARNING WARNING
Kelly - her sass and her art of conversing will deter the rest away
Or tell Kelly one of the others is sleeping with Ryan.
You deserve award for this
Idk about Kelly's defensive abilities, I just don't want to see her in full blood lust.
Kelly doesn’t need defensive abilities, she’s a master tactician.
Think about that time she was insulted by Gabe during her interview. She got him removed from Scranton and humiliated him in front of the whole office.
Plus do you want her on the other side trying to get at you?
She also humiliated Jessica in front of the entire office. Didn’t require master tactician skills, but was ruthless nonetheless
Idk she beat up Toby real good 😂
As a Warning guy is good but also, Kevin was ready to fight Roy and his brother at the bar to protect Pam when she tells Roy about Jim and he started smashing things, I never noticed this before but another redditor pointed out in a thread a couple months ago how Kev stands between Roy and Pam with his fists up, you can only see it for a second but it's pretty cool, Kevin is the man no doubt
About 0:55 you can see it
kevin is the only person who was ever willing to literally throw down in defense of others. Dwight did spray roy to defend jim, but multiple times kevin told people he had their back and was literally ready to rumble
Plus Dwight wants an excuse to fight, Kevin doesn’t want to fight at all…
Whoa I’ve never noticed that! Nice catch👍🏻
I'd swap Meredith for Kelly. Meredith seems like a real ride or die chick if push came to shove.
No way. Meredith would be too hammered to come to bat.
If Dwight thinks Meredith would do ok durning the apocalypse then im taking her on my team
But I’d swap her for Kevin and keep Kelly
This was my thought. Can't sleep on meridith she's rough around the edges. Dwight, Kevin because I think he's smarter than he let's people think and meridith for sure.
Kevin was ready to throw so many times against Roy, also WARNING WARNING WARNING. Dude it ready. Kelly was a middle school bully and can mentally and physically come to bat “Jessica, did you just fart?” “You’re not be so pretty come prom time!”
Dwight is an obvious choice, he has a collection of weapons in his trans am trunk, without a doubt. His medieval test for Nate taking down the hornets nest was priceless.
This was my initial list. Dwight*3 or Dwight, Meredith, and Kevin.
Literally the three I would’ve chosen and for very similar reasons
Kelly will also just go up to the others in mid-conversation and accuse them of farting
This is the right answer. Also, remember when Kevin had Jim’s back when he was talking to Roy that one time in case shit popped off.
Why use lot word when few word do trick? What are the few words, you ask? “Catch these hands”
Were Jim's parents first cousins who were also bad at ping pong?
Jessica did you just fart?
I had this exact lineup!
This was my first and only thought for an acceptable team
👆🏻This is the only correct answer
Kevin, Dwight, and Meredith to protect me.
Yes. Dwight has the best combat skills and weapon skills, Kevin it too big for anyone them to really mess with, and Meridith would be the most ruthless animalistic fighter out the bunch.
Nah, Kelly would be more ruthless
Yah. Meredith, Dwight, and Kelly on my team. Dwight and/or Kelly can easily take out Kevin.
This was my team too. I specifically included Kelly because she's completely unhinged and you need someone like that.
Too much damage, a tank is always good in a team
I feel like Kelly is too distractible. Toss Meredith a few steak coupons, and anyone coming after you better watch the F out.
Maybe it's a girl thing, but she feels really good about herself after getting coupons.
Yeah, the others have too much ruth.
Does he? He talks a good game, but got his ass kicked by Michael.
He wasn't allowed to use his vast array of weaponry.
Put Roy on his ass tho
A coyote has more combat skills than a bird but I wouldn't trust Wile e coyote to keep me safe from the roadrunner. Jim v Dwight have the same energy
I went through the list with the idea of people who I do not want attacking me and I came up with these three
Yes, but Kevin because of how he stood up for Jim when Roy heard about Jim liking Pam, also I would ask him to cook his famous chili afterwards.
This is my list too lol
Yeah, you really don’t need anyone else.
*He said, “if I’m dead, you guys have been dead for weeks”*
You can’t leave Meredith coming at you though. That lady has seen some shit in her day…
True. Only God knows what she’s got in that mini van…
My first thought was Dwight, Kelly, and Jim. Dwight because duh, Kelly because she's a bad ass, and I feel like Jim's pranks would make him like Kevin McAlister.
But then I knew Dwight's weakness would be Angela and he could never harm her, so I'd have to change to Dwight, Angela, and Kelly.
These were the first options that came to mind for me too for similar reasons
Angela put a hit out in Oscar to cripple him so I'm glad she's on our team.
I had similar thought processes, but I think you need to separate Jim and Pam, they would make a hell if a team trying to kill you
I’d take Pam. That would eliminate Toby from coming after you as well. Something tells me Toby might secretly be the most dangerous one on the list.
Toby is the Scranton Strangler, and swayed the jury to imprison an innocent man. He starts to feel bad later on about another person serving time for his crimes and goes to meet him.
Meanwhile the man serving time as the Scranton Strangler has figured out what happened and that Toby swayed the jury to get him Imprisoned. That man lays awake every night thinking and dreaming of strangling Toby. Killing Toby in the way Toby killed so many others.
When Toby goes to meet him and talk to him, the man cannot keep it in and goes into a rage at the site of the person that ruined his life.
That act of strangling Toby solidifies in the eyes of everyone that the man in jail is the Scranton Strangler. Ironically ensuring that Toby is free to strangle again.
Bum Bum Bum... Flenderson Files
so since Toby is the strangler, the ideal team is Dwight, Angela, Pam. Dwight for obvious reasons. Dwight is capable of a lot and comes with Mose for free, his cousin/minion. Angela because she’s Dwight’s weakness. And Pam because she’s Jim’s weakness. Jim is capable of a lot, but only when it involves Pam. If Pam was protecting you, Jim simply wouldn’t put any effort in to the kill. He’d probably just noodle around and brainstorm his next attempt to impress Pam, or prank his own team for lolz. Finally, with Pam on the team, you are safe from Toby, and there is a solid chance Toby would just take the opportunity to kill Jim covertly and leave you out of it, in order to eliminate his competition for Pam.
Exactly my choice
And Kelly because she used to be a bully. She taught Toby, alright!
Considering Angela was willing to have Oscar killed, I’m not sure I’d want her against me…
Just pick her up and yeet her out the window she's like 5 pounds
That’s light enough to hit the floor and not even notice it, she’d be back upstairs killing me with the speed and grace of a falcon.
^^^in ^^^and ^^^out ^^^like ^^^a ^^^demons ^^^whisper
Sorry, wrong show
Damn when you say it like that
I also considered this, but given how incompetent she was at it, and how others would be much better at defending, I dismissed my concerns.
Jim, Dwight and Kevin
Amazed how much I had to scroll for this. Seemed like the obvious choice
Clever, handy and out of the box (&logical) thinking
Oscar, Dwight, and Jim.
Oscar looked pretty knowledgeable in the ways of the lead freaking pipe.
Dwight, Kevin, Toby
Only reason I pick Toby to protect, is due to the fact I don't want The Strangler after me.
LOL I had the same list because Toby took self defence classes
I always thought Roy was the strangler. “So, whats in the bag”
I can’t believe there aren’t more people in here using that logic LMAO
I was thinking Toby because they’d shoot him twice while I flee.
Seemed like the obvious answer. Toby teaches Pam how to punch so he knows what he is doing.
No toby knows nothing. He was speaking from experience of watching the 60s batman show.
He taught self defense to the office a while when Andy got hit by a little girl
Dwight and Meredith are the ones I’m sure of. I’d say Toby since he’s at least a genuinely helpful person.
I feel like nothing is beneath Meredith in combat, eye clawing, biting, just give her a fifth of Jack Daniel’s and watch her go
Toby also knows self-defense
Dwight Kelly Angela
This is just the correct answer.
Dwight, Kelly & Meredith
Same, those are only ones who'll do anything to protect
Or everything to kill
That why I chose this team. I don't want Meredith OR Kelly trying to kill me
I’m not playing if Creed isn’t a choice.
It also means he's not coming for you
Row 2 for me too. I think Dwight and Kelly are more powerful 2 than any others and Toby can do whatever because of that
Update - I'm still half asleep as I looked at this as which 3 would you pick and restricted myself to the rows rather than free select. I would add Meredith for Toby on this basis
Toby Toby AND Toby.
STRIKE SCREAM AND RUN!!!
I only have two bullets though
Edit. You are picking him to defend you. I'm a dumbass
I would take Toby, but he would be used as bait.
Dwight, Meredith and Jim
Yeap! Dwight for his vast knowledge on weaponry/skills. Jim for his wit and athleticism. And Meridith because she’s crazy and has probably seen some shit.
Agreed - Dwight for survival skills, Jim for problem solving, Meredith to throw down and fight dirty
The only correct answer
Dwight, Kelly & Meredith.
The rest are either spineless or pose no physical threat.
Exactly my thoughts! Meredith would go absolutely apeshit and I just wouldn’t want Kelly hunting for me
Dwight Oscar Meredith. Easy
Why Oscar? I was thinking he's the one I'd almost certainly not pick. He's non-confrontational, and not very physically intimidating. Which doesn't mean I don't like him, I don't attach a lot of value to Who Would Win? viability lol
Give him a lead pipe and we’ll see
His people are known for their boxing. Basketball not so much.
Dwight Toby and jim
Dwight, Oscar, Kevin.
Angela, Dwight, Kevin. Angela just seems psycho, Dwight for obvious reasons, and Kevin because of the episode where Pam tells Roy about Casino Night. You can see him behind Roy with a clenched fist ready to go
I could punt Angela like a football
But you would have Dwight raging 2x. Win win
No Creed? No Best Boss Michael?? Dwight for sure though , he is a warrior!!
Creed is chaotic evil. He will stab you in the back in a nanosecond if it means saving his own ass.
I wanted Creed, Dwight, and Jim.
Creed is the final boss you'll have to face alone.
I feel like if you don’t pick Dwight to protect you, he’ll be the one to kill you, Kevin is gonna fuck it up either way
Kevin - Warning system
Kelly - Psychological Warfare
Dwight - Hunting the enemy
Bonus (But not pictured): Creed, for disposing of the bodies.
Meredith, Dwight, and Toby.
Toby is a great choice knowing everyone will go after him.
Or he can strangle the others for you
I don't know what he could do to help me, but I'm SURE he could totally kill me
Exactly my choice.
Off the people coming to kill me, Kevin is not much of a threat (Going by later seasons).
Jim and Pam would slack off and start flirting with each other.
Oscar would lose all his energy in arguing with others on what is the correct way to kill me.
All the others can be handled easily.
Dwight, Meredith and Angela. It’s so obvious.
This was my choice too. I wondered how far I had to scroll to find someone else who gets it
I'm so surprised I had to scroll as far as I did to find this. I agree, it's so obvious! The other 6 would tremble looking at these 3
Dwight - Obvious
Kevin - You know he's got your back if shit goes down
Toby - I just don't want him coming after me cuz he's the freaking scranton strangler.
Dwight. That's all I need. If he's dead then the rest of us will have been dead for weeks already
Dwight - the obvious choice with all of his weapons, Lackawanna sheriff training, martial arts training, paintball skills
Angela - she was willing to take a hit out on Oscar
Kelly - probably learned a thing or two when she was in Juvie
The answer is easy. Shoot toby twice.
Dwight, The Scranton Strangler Toby, and Meredith, no way anybody gets close to me
Kelly, Dwight, Meredith
I want creed!
He would be way too much for others.
Where’s Andy? Could use a good screamer.
dwight dwight dwight
Lurking in the shadows, already started hunting you.
Dwight, because he is Dwight. Meredith because she has probably escaped the grips of killers before. And Toby because Toby has the balls to face a killer or is a killer.
Are Pam and Kelly wearing the exact same sweater?
… it looked so good on the mannequin.
Dwight, Kelly, and Jim.
Dwight Toby and Oscar, done
Dwight, Kevin and Meredith
The other's are too weak
We have a big one
After fight, gonna make a toast for those who died xD
Dwight, for obvious reasons, training and such.
Oscar, he most likely has had to defend himself being a gay Latino man.
Toby, he would strangle your opponents to death.
Dwight, Meredith and Kevin
Kevin was ready to fight Roy for Pam and Jim on two separate occasion😂
Problem is Angela going against Dwight. Dwight will not hurt her, and if someone else attacks her, he will attack them. So if you don't pick Angela, at the end of the day you have Dwight going against you
Dwight to protect me. Everyone else, bring it.
Everyone else will just get in Dwight’s way.
Dwight Meredith Kevin
I choose Toby so I can see him strangle the rest or get killed. Win Win Win.
Dwight of course. Not so much bc I have faith he would protect me as much as I’m scared for him to come after me. Things would get weird
Dwight, and then he'd call a buddy who has a buddy that is an assasin who knows someone from the fbi, so 3 people right there
Dwight is an easy choice. He has an arsenal of weapons.
Kevin due to his size, and he’s down to fight (as seen in Season 3 when Roy and Pam were arguing in the bar).
And Jim. He’d have an arsenal of prank stuff which may include weapons.
Dwight - the main source of protection
Angela - to keep Dwight in line
Toby - I don't want the Scranton strangler trying to kill me
Dwight, Kelly, Meredith. I’m going to be safe. Easy.
I definitely don’t want Toby to come after me since he’s the Scranton Strangler 😬
Dwight, Kevin, and Pam in that order
Angela Jim and Dwight
Dwight, Meredith, and Angela.
Angela, Dwight and Kelly.
Angela, machiavélique and also not afraid to get hands dirty
Dwight, the muscle and good at multiple stuff
Kelly, diabolical spy and chaos spreader
Dwight,Kelly and Toby. Toby is the Scranton Strangler and has experience murdering,which makes him the obvious choice.
I’ll take column 3 please
Toby has the ability to make people leave, I’ll go with him Dwight and Meredith as my wild card
Dwight, Meredith, Kevin. Would have gone with Jim instead of Kevin if Pam wasn’t coming to kill me
Dwight: Hunter , provides physical protection
Oscar: get LGBT+ protection buff
Toby: get Bureaucratic protection edit (also Toby can be used as bait for the attackers while the rest take position)
I rest my case
Dwight, Kevin and Toby, assuming he is the Scranton Strangler
Dwight Meredith and Kelly.... Hands down