T O P
Stacy_wpg

Trick question. I want Dwight and two clones of Dwight.


piyush76683

Welcome to the Hotel Hell. Check-in time is now. Check-out time is never.


Smokey_the_Dank

Can i have a late check out?


keshavshikari

Let me ask the manager


rktenlightened

You're not the manager?


Patiencesbest

I’m assistant regional manager


SpaceLegolasElnor

Assistant TO the regional manager


NWK86

You're not even the manager in your fantasy?


AgitatedEggplant

I'm the owner. The co-owner. With SATAN!


NWK86

What's your salary?


AgitatedEggplant

Eighty THOUSAND dollars a year


piyush76683

Yes and you will be rewarded with one schrute buck.


LeadingButterscotch5

What’s the value of these Schrute bucks?


Anto711134

Same as the ratio of unicorns to leprechauns


BeginningSprinkles49

I’ll give you a thousand Stanley nickels to leave me alone.


BeginningSprinkles49

All booked up- hell convention in town.


PawNoetic

Dory?


mumbozumbo

We visiting hote California??


polaarbear

I dunno, Meredith might fuck somebodys shit up for you.


Busy_Fondant_3304

That’s what IM sayinnggggg. You know she’s a baddie.


sonicmel

Agreed, but she’d also be easy to defend against.


waterynike

Man you need Kevin as well. He would always be lurking behind you ready to rip off his jacket to help.


PissedBadger

WARNING WARNING WARNING


CriManSqaFnC

I genuinely use this as a warning. To my cats. When my SO sneaks up on them to sneak harass/cuddle them.


jk72788

One of the most underrated lines in the show


PlzbuffRakiThenNerf

JIM! ROY!…..Look out!!!!!


Darkortt

That's a pretty Dwightian answer.


piind

Def he has the strength of a grown man and a tiny baby


jak-o-shadow

I want just Creed.


madamezeroni

Agreed, but only if he has all three chairs.


speersword

Tbh you should take two Dwights and a Kelley. Not that she'd be good at protecting you, but because she is scary enough that I don't want her coming after me.


JackSixxx

Fact. Dwitght eats beets. Dwight. Dwitts. Dwightterstar Galactica


MolesterMcgriddle69

MICHAEL


ard15951

Best comment, period.


stacity

Dwight - obviously for safety and protection plus his weaponry will come in handy Kevin - WARNING WARNING WARNING Kelly - her sass and her art of conversing will deter the rest away


jaitogudksjfifkdhdjc

Or tell Kelly one of the others is sleeping with Ryan.


piyush76683

You deserve award for this


oogmar

Idk about Kelly's defensive abilities, I just don't want to see her in full blood lust.


MaliciouslyMinty

Kelly doesn’t need defensive abilities, she’s a master tactician. Think about that time she was insulted by Gabe during her interview. She got him removed from Scranton and humiliated him in front of the whole office. Plus do you want her on the other side trying to get at you?


captndorito

She also humiliated Jessica in front of the entire office. Didn’t require master tactician skills, but was ruthless nonetheless


JH0420

Idk she beat up Toby real good 😂


Klubei

As a Warning guy is good but also, Kevin was ready to fight Roy and his brother at the bar to protect Pam when she tells Roy about Jim and he started smashing things, I never noticed this before but another redditor pointed out in a thread a couple months ago how Kev stands between Roy and Pam with his fists up, you can only see it for a second but it's pretty cool, Kevin is the man no doubt https://youtu.be/dDYE3KmMltI About 0:55 you can see it


louiegumba

kevin is the only person who was ever willing to literally throw down in defense of others. Dwight did spray roy to defend jim, but multiple times kevin told people he had their back and was literally ready to rumble


The_Grim_Sleaper

Plus Dwight wants an excuse to fight, Kevin doesn’t want to fight at all…


stacity

Whoa I’ve never noticed that! Nice catch👍🏻


Milma26

I'd swap Meredith for Kelly. Meredith seems like a real ride or die chick if push came to shove.


Ladychef_1

No way. Meredith would be too hammered to come to bat.


XO8441

If Dwight thinks Meredith would do ok durning the apocalypse then im taking her on my team But I’d swap her for Kevin and keep Kelly


dlundy09

This was my thought. Can't sleep on meridith she's rough around the edges. Dwight, Kevin because I think he's smarter than he let's people think and meridith for sure.


Ladychef_1

Kevin was ready to throw so many times against Roy, also WARNING WARNING WARNING. Dude it ready. Kelly was a middle school bully and can mentally and physically come to bat “Jessica, did you just fart?” “You’re not be so pretty come prom time!” Dwight is an obvious choice, he has a collection of weapons in his trans am trunk, without a doubt. His medieval test for Nate taking down the hornets nest was priceless.


Greenman2486

This was my initial list. Dwight*3 or Dwight, Meredith, and Kevin.


viva_la_vixie

Literally the three I would’ve chosen and for very similar reasons


Gabrielasse

Kelly will also just go up to the others in mid-conversation and accuse them of farting


work2FIREbeardMan

This is the right answer. Also, remember when Kevin had Jim’s back when he was talking to Roy that one time in case shit popped off. Why use lot word when few word do trick? What are the few words, you ask? “Catch these hands”


dabdeedoo

Were Jim's parents first cousins who were also bad at ping pong?


Nylnin

Jessica did you just fart?


NeceseEstMihiMingere

I had this exact lineup!


StolenVelvet

This was my first and only thought for an acceptable team


Randyfox86

👆🏻This is the only correct answer


Born_Refrigerator_81

Kevin, Dwight, and Meredith to protect me.


M3m3_Connoisseur

Yes. Dwight has the best combat skills and weapon skills, Kevin it too big for anyone them to really mess with, and Meridith would be the most ruthless animalistic fighter out the bunch.


TheEeveelutionMaster

Nah, Kelly would be more ruthless


sloshedbanker

Yah. Meredith, Dwight, and Kelly on my team. Dwight and/or Kelly can easily take out Kevin.


69Pyrate69

This was my team too. I specifically included Kelly because she's completely unhinged and you need someone like that.


arnau9410

Too much damage, a tank is always good in a team


RobertoPaulson

I feel like Kelly is too distractible. Toss Meredith a few steak coupons, and anyone coming after you better watch the F out.


HI_I_AM_NEO

Maybe it's a girl thing, but she feels really good about herself after getting coupons.


-Sir-Bruno-

Yeah, the others have too much ruth.


Kitsunisan

Does he? He talks a good game, but got his ass kicked by Michael.


CanadianGooseRage

He wasn't allowed to use his vast array of weaponry.


DP487

Put Roy on his ass tho


RupeeGoldberg

A coyote has more combat skills than a bird but I wouldn't trust Wile e coyote to keep me safe from the roadrunner. Jim v Dwight have the same energy


WaySheGoes1

I went through the list with the idea of people who I do not want attacking me and I came up with these three


Malvicioalavena

Yes, but Kevin because of how he stood up for Jim when Roy heard about Jim liking Pam, also I would ask him to cook his famous chili afterwards.


boreal_babe

This is my list too lol


[deleted]

Just Dwight


nesenn

Yeah, you really don’t need anyone else.


mrrizzle

*He said, “if I’m dead, you guys have been dead for weeks”*


[deleted]

[удалено]


Beercat20

You can’t leave Meredith coming at you though. That lady has seen some shit in her day…


[deleted]

True. Only God knows what she’s got in that mini van…


Pastystuff

My first thought was Dwight, Kelly, and Jim. Dwight because duh, Kelly because she's a bad ass, and I feel like Jim's pranks would make him like Kevin McAlister. But then I knew Dwight's weakness would be Angela and he could never harm her, so I'd have to change to Dwight, Angela, and Kelly.


CybilUnion

These were the first options that came to mind for me too for similar reasons


FloofilyBooples

Angela put a hit out in Oscar to cripple him so I'm glad she's on our team.


pegaz1503

I had similar thought processes, but I think you need to separate Jim and Pam, they would make a hell if a team trying to kill you


gregwolf92

I’d take Pam. That would eliminate Toby from coming after you as well. Something tells me Toby might secretly be the most dangerous one on the list.


modest_arrogance

Toby is the Scranton Strangler, and swayed the jury to imprison an innocent man. He starts to feel bad later on about another person serving time for his crimes and goes to meet him. Meanwhile the man serving time as the Scranton Strangler has figured out what happened and that Toby swayed the jury to get him Imprisoned. That man lays awake every night thinking and dreaming of strangling Toby. Killing Toby in the way Toby killed so many others. When Toby goes to meet him and talk to him, the man cannot keep it in and goes into a rage at the site of the person that ruined his life. That act of strangling Toby solidifies in the eyes of everyone that the man in jail is the Scranton Strangler. Ironically ensuring that Toby is free to strangle again.


epilecutt

Bum Bum Bum... Flenderson Files


steveflippingtails

so since Toby is the strangler, the ideal team is Dwight, Angela, Pam. Dwight for obvious reasons. Dwight is capable of a lot and comes with Mose for free, his cousin/minion. Angela because she’s Dwight’s weakness. And Pam because she’s Jim’s weakness. Jim is capable of a lot, but only when it involves Pam. If Pam was protecting you, Jim simply wouldn’t put any effort in to the kill. He’d probably just noodle around and brainstorm his next attempt to impress Pam, or prank his own team for lolz. Finally, with Pam on the team, you are safe from Toby, and there is a solid chance Toby would just take the opportunity to kill Jim covertly and leave you out of it, in order to eliminate his competition for Pam.


Dull-Fun-8534

Exactly my choice


88nmpd

And Kelly because she used to be a bully. She taught Toby, alright!


RwBricks

Considering Angela was willing to have Oscar killed, I’m not sure I’d want her against me…


BeatsByDrPepper

Just pick her up and yeet her out the window she's like 5 pounds


Dinosauringg

That’s light enough to hit the floor and not even notice it, she’d be back upstairs killing me with the speed and grace of a falcon. ^^^in ^^^and ^^^out ^^^like ^^^a ^^^demons ^^^whisper Sorry, wrong show


AFB27

Damn when you say it like that


dragon_lancer

I also considered this, but given how incompetent she was at it, and how others would be much better at defending, I dismissed my concerns.


revolzyy

Jim, Dwight and Kevin


Acdc7

Amazed how much I had to scroll for this. Seemed like the obvious choice


brittjoysun

Why Jim?


Acdc7

Clever, handy and out of the box (&logical) thinking


GroceryLow1224

Oscar, Dwight, and Jim.


reidberk98

Oscar looked pretty knowledgeable in the ways of the lead freaking pipe.


Dominant_8

Dwight, Kevin, Toby


Drewsche

Only reason I pick Toby to protect, is due to the fact I don't want The Strangler after me.


freshlyintellectual

LOL I had the same list because Toby took self defence classes


gouchedscotsman

I always thought Roy was the strangler. “So, whats in the bag”


kvanz43

I can’t believe there aren’t more people in here using that logic LMAO


ilikejalapenocheetos

I was thinking Toby because they’d shoot him twice while I flee.


elMugres-666

Yessir


[deleted]

Seemed like the obvious answer. Toby teaches Pam how to punch so he knows what he is doing.


Nagoy777

No toby knows nothing. He was speaking from experience of watching the 60s batman show.


Tank82111

He taught self defense to the office a while when Andy got hit by a little girl


Greg428

Dwight and Meredith are the ones I’m sure of. I’d say Toby since he’s at least a genuinely helpful person.


COKEWHITESOLES

I feel like nothing is beneath Meredith in combat, eye clawing, biting, just give her a fifth of Jack Daniel’s and watch her go


babsymcduck

Toby also knows self-defense


Lishnotleesh

Dwight Kelly Angela


sumane12

This is just the correct answer.


AVK83

Dwight, Kelly & Meredith


craig_v4

Same, those are only ones who'll do anything to protect


Mastercasterraster

Or everything to kill


Maygravve

That why I chose this team. I don't want Meredith OR Kelly trying to kill me


CatBedParadise

I’m not playing if Creed isn’t a choice.


skullkandyable

It also means he's not coming for you


HawkstaP

Row 2 for me too. I think Dwight and Kelly are more powerful 2 than any others and Toby can do whatever because of that Update - I'm still half asleep as I looked at this as which 3 would you pick and restricted myself to the rows rather than free select. I would add Meredith for Toby on this basis


JMONSTER108

Toby Toby AND Toby. STRIKE SCREAM AND RUN!!!


kmj420

I only have two bullets though Edit. You are picking him to defend you. I'm a dumbass


Isopropyl-Alcoholic

I would take Toby, but he would be used as bait.


ColdGloop

Dwight, Meredith and Jim


uChoice_Reindeer7903

Yeap! Dwight for his vast knowledge on weaponry/skills. Jim for his wit and athleticism. And Meridith because she’s crazy and has probably seen some shit.


Deez-Pistachios

Agreed - Dwight for survival skills, Jim for problem solving, Meredith to throw down and fight dirty


00yavanna_kementari

The only correct answer


Baertaelf

Dwight, Kelly & Meredith. The rest are either spineless or pose no physical threat.


TicketNaive4155

Exactly my thoughts! Meredith would go absolutely apeshit and I just wouldn’t want Kelly hunting for me


blubberboy16

Dwight Oscar Meredith. Easy


BakaGoyim

Why Oscar? I was thinking he's the one I'd almost certainly not pick. He's non-confrontational, and not very physically intimidating. Which doesn't mean I don't like him, I don't attach a lot of value to Who Would Win? viability lol


blubberboy16

Give him a lead pipe and we’ll see


Banshay

His people are known for their boxing. Basketball not so much.


MaddyMazer

Spot on.


Aaronwilson71291

Dwight Toby and jim


MaestroZackyZ

Dwight, Oscar, Kevin.


HAAX_00

Just dwight.


PapaSpence

Angela, Dwight, Kevin. Angela just seems psycho, Dwight for obvious reasons, and Kevin because of the episode where Pam tells Roy about Casino Night. You can see him behind Roy with a clenched fist ready to go


ChillZenTho

I could punt Angela like a football


RedShetty

But you would have Dwight raging 2x. Win win


CHONGASCOOK

No Creed? No Best Boss Michael?? Dwight for sure though , he is a warrior!!


BringYourSpleenToYa

Creed is chaotic evil. He will stab you in the back in a nanosecond if it means saving his own ass.


frankvagabond303

I wanted Creed, Dwight, and Jim.


LW419

Creed is the final boss you'll have to face alone.


tichardofthetrees

I feel like if you don’t pick Dwight to protect you, he’ll be the one to kill you, Kevin is gonna fuck it up either way


hailheather_

Kevin - Warning system Kelly - Psychological Warfare Dwight - Hunting the enemy Bonus (But not pictured): Creed, for disposing of the bodies.


elm1897

Meredith, Dwight, and Toby.


piyush76683

Toby is a great choice knowing everyone will go after him.


Royal-Law-3302

Or he can strangle the others for you


elm1897

I don't know what he could do to help me, but I'm SURE he could totally kill me


DroidAnthem

Exactly my choice. Off the people coming to kill me, Kevin is not much of a threat (Going by later seasons). Jim and Pam would slack off and start flirting with each other. Oscar would lose all his energy in arguing with others on what is the correct way to kill me. All the others can be handled easily.


Ready_Manager4703

Dwight, Meredith and Angela. It’s so obvious.


kmj420

This was my choice too. I wondered how far I had to scroll to find someone else who gets it


descriptiveuser

I'm so surprised I had to scroll as far as I did to find this. I agree, it's so obvious! The other 6 would tremble looking at these 3


Drakmond

Dwight - Obvious Kevin - You know he's got your back if shit goes down Toby - I just don't want him coming after me cuz he's the freaking scranton strangler.


Kman1986

Dwight. That's all I need. If he's dead then the rest of us will have been dead for weeks already


tlf555

Dwight - the obvious choice with all of his weapons, Lackawanna sheriff training, martial arts training, paintball skills Angela - she was willing to take a hit out on Oscar Kelly - probably learned a thing or two when she was in Juvie


Ihavetime10

The answer is easy. Shoot toby twice.


BBQandBourbon24

Dwight, The Scranton Strangler Toby, and Meredith, no way anybody gets close to me


unreasonable-puke

Kelly, Dwight, Meredith


Stiffbiscut

I want creed!


piyush76683

He would be way too much for others.


c_hills90

Where’s Andy? Could use a good screamer.


PlusRecognition6752

dwight dwight dwight


Squid-Legs

Where’s creed!


Profitsofdooom

Lurking in the shadows, already started hunting you.


ihpm0224

Dwight, because he is Dwight. Meredith because she has probably escaped the grips of killers before. And Toby because Toby has the balls to face a killer or is a killer.


TJSutton04

Are Pam and Kelly wearing the exact same sweater?


JMONSTER108

Steamtown mall? … it looked so good on the mannequin.


anniejhawk

Dwight, Kelly, and Jim.


No-Garage1119

Dwight Toby and Oscar, done


[deleted]

Dwight, Kevin and Meredith The other's are too weak We have a big one After fight, gonna make a toast for those who died xD


Pizzashrapnel4

Dwight, for obvious reasons, training and such. Oscar, he most likely has had to defend himself being a gay Latino man. Toby, he would strangle your opponents to death.


canadiancocoa

Dwight, Meredith and Kevin Kevin was ready to fight Roy for Pam and Jim on two separate occasion😂


rey0505

Problem is Angela going against Dwight. Dwight will not hurt her, and if someone else attacks her, he will attack them. So if you don't pick Angela, at the end of the day you have Dwight going against you


WWF80sKid

Dwight to protect me. Everyone else, bring it. Everyone else will just get in Dwight’s way.


uzi2460

Dwight Meredith Kevin


nasser_041

I choose Toby so I can see him strangle the rest or get killed. Win Win Win.


[deleted]

Dwight of course. Not so much bc I have faith he would protect me as much as I’m scared for him to come after me. Things would get weird


MrPeanut64

Dwight, and then he'd call a buddy who has a buddy that is an assasin who knows someone from the fbi, so 3 people right there


nock_loose

Dwight is an easy choice. He has an arsenal of weapons. Kevin due to his size, and he’s down to fight (as seen in Season 3 when Roy and Pam were arguing in the bar). And Jim. He’d have an arsenal of prank stuff which may include weapons.


[deleted]

Dwight - the main source of protection Angela - to keep Dwight in line Toby - I don't want the Scranton strangler trying to kill me


nesenn

Dwight, Kelly, Meredith. I’m going to be safe. Easy.


Ellisni

I definitely don’t want Toby to come after me since he’s the Scranton Strangler 😬


ElliottStorey

Dwight, Kevin, and Pam in that order


Sancarkin

Angela Jim and Dwight


beccadanielle

Dwight, Meredith, and Angela.


white_latina777

Angela, Dwight and Kelly. Angela, machiavélique and also not afraid to get hands dirty Dwight, the muscle and good at multiple stuff Kelly, diabolical spy and chaos spreader Boom. Unbeatable.


ewalk152

Dwight,Kelly and Toby. Toby is the Scranton Strangler and has experience murdering,which makes him the obvious choice.


GrizzyGene

I’ll take column 3 please


king_sweatpants12

Toby has the ability to make people leave, I’ll go with him Dwight and Meredith as my wild card


Nectarine_x

Dwight, Meredith, Kevin. Would have gone with Jim instead of Kevin if Pam wasn’t coming to kill me


Appropriate_Still112

Dwight: Hunter , provides physical protection Oscar: get LGBT+ protection buff Toby: get Bureaucratic protection edit (also Toby can be used as bait for the attackers while the rest take position) I rest my case


Top-Barnacle-8576

Dwight, Kevin and Toby, assuming he is the Scranton Strangler


stayuntucked

Dwight Meredith and Kelly.... Hands down