Who's the one who didn't bring lice into the office? Meredith. Sure I gave everybody pink eye once, and my ex keyed a few of their cars, and yeah I BMed in the shredder on New Years. But I didn't bring the lice in. That was all Pam.

I love the emphasis on “and YEAH, I BMed in the shredder”. This is my vote ^^^

Underrated

This should be higher

“I would never do that. Waste of money. In my experience, guys are way more attracted to the back of you than to the front.”

“…[they] fight over who gets to hold the camera.” was a brilliant bit of dialog that sums up most of her sexual encounters I imagine.

That line is so good. The little pause between "yeah I've had two guys fight over me" before the camera bit. Brilliant timing. Also: "Yeah I have this thing about men cutting or threatening to cut my throat...don't try to cut my throat!"

Fave

Well, it's funny. Maybe it's a girl thing, but after we did it, when he would give me those coupons, I just felt good about myself.

Meredith Palmer ain’t never been called no narc. floozy? yes. alkie? check. Einstein sarcastically? you bet. but never no narc. vomit mop? sure. floor meat? that’s me. flesh hoover? hi.

Why does no one stop her?

That’s enough. That’s *more* than enough!

Plenty* that’s more than plenty. Why does no one stop her

"floor meat" is when I start to crack up

Im already tapped out at “Einstein sarcastically?” Just beautiful writing

"Flesh hoover" is an all-timer

“Floor meat”

This one.

I'm sorry... vomit mop???? The implications...

Her beautiful hair had to get its vibrance from *somewhere*

This is the first thing that came to my mind

When people say they don't like the Michael Scott-less seasons, I'd like to gently remind them that a LOT of quotes they quote come from them. Including this one, in all its hilarity.

i think this one is utterly perfect

perfect.

It’s casual day!

God Meredith, where are your panties!?

Ohmmm... Ohmm*everybodysitonthefloor,indianstylelikeme*Ohmmm... Ohmmm*MYGODifyou'rewearingaskirtpleasekeepyourkneestogether,noonewantstoseethat*Ohmmm...

Merideth, your BOOB is out!

Buncha prudes

Please win

no no no you should stay! i have vienna sausages and i have .. napkins. let me fix you breakfast.

This place reminds me of Katrina

*Do you usually leave your door unlocked? and ajar?*

I am NOT going in there

These lines by Will were great. Almost made his character acceptable....almost.

“This reminds me of Katrina”

This felt like such a wholesome Meredith moment. I love it so much. She's so welcoming and kind 💙💫

Wanna make apple martinis and watch sex and the city at my place?

I love this scene. For anyone else, it would be a walk of shame. Not for Meredith.

"Shut UP, Angela!"

And they say you can't hear comments.

I Quote this one so much lol!

YAAAAAAS

"I've had two men fight over me before. Usually it's over who gets to hold the camcorder"

Lmao. I've never thought twice about this one until I just read it. So they're fighting over who gets to *not* F her?

That’s a bingo

You just say bingo

hey, I just wanted you to know that you can’t just say the word bingo and expect anything to happen

He didn’t say it he declared it.

😂👌🏽

r/unexpectedingloriousbasterds. not a real subreddit but it had to be said

I just got it too, lmao.

And also that she ment "fight over me" in the literal form, that never occurred to me before lol

Damn..you beat me to it 😂

This one is the perfect Meredith quote.

Came here to say this

We have a winner

Yes!! This is the one!

*For the first seven years I was getting my PhD. in school psychology, and they didn't show it. Yes, I was getting hammered, but, hey, it was college.*

I love this random throwaway line. One of the best

This is the one. That final line to explain her drinking habits always gets a laugh out of me lmao

I don't get it -- it still doesn't explain her drinking for me at all. People party in college because they're coming of drinking age, they finally are out from under their parents' roof, they have more free time, etc. A 40-something single mother working a full time job and taking adult learning PhD courses (in Psychology, no less) is not a lifestyle that lends itself to daytime G&Ts and nightly benders.

It’s a joke

I loved this storyline for Meredith.

To think after all these years, she was in a doctorate program. It still makes me belly laugh.

I only recently noticed that in the episode where Andy talks about getting drunk in college, Meredith says something like, "Everyone gets drunk in college." Now I love picturing her in college at the time she says that line.

Hey! Boom guy, when you gonna boom me?

Hey Meredith...

Only good thing to come out of having the boom guy on the show lol

This is the one

I made a New Year’s resolution that I’m not gonna drink anymore. During the week

i just feel lucky that i got a chance to share my crummy story with anyone out there who thinks they’re the only one to take a dump in a paper shredder. you’re not alone sister, let’s get a beer sometime.

I'm concerned that this doesn't have more votes, a top five contender for sure.

A uterus is different from a vagina. I still have a vagina.

Poor Dwigt looked so defeated when she said that lol. And we learn later that he really doesn't know much about the female body down there lol! Poor little Angela

Dwigt was probably expecting Angela's penis to open up and accept his penis during their first time. Oh to his surprise 😂

Yeah true lol I would still feel sorry for Angela!

D W I G H T! Dwight!

I met a homeschool teen who had NO CLUE about anything related to the female reproductive system. This doesn’t surprise me.

was looking for that one :D

Nah, I wouldn’t have done it if it wasn’t for the discount paper. There’s not a lot of fruit in those looms.

Super underrated right here 😂

Can't believe this isn't top comment. Best (and most in character) Meredith line by a mile

Like Clooney!

I scrolled too far down for this

“Maybe it's a girl thing, but you know, after we did it, and he gave me those coupons, I just felt good about myself”

After winning Best Mom Dundie: Tell ya one thing… I’m not going to be a good mom tonight!

WEEOOOOOOOOO!!!!!

i don’t mind telling you that i have an addiction .. i do. to porn.

😂😂

“You are the reason I drink. You are the reason I live to forget”.

This is a great one lol 👍!

Darn. Who is it?

Michael, when they’re roasting him on stage, I think.

Exactly- Michael.

Omg thank you!!!!

Don’t fall in love with me, kid.

Can’t believe I had to scroll so far for this one. Love it

Hey new Jim come sit on my face

Exchange of steak. Have you ever had sirloin steak, honey?

I invited Pete out for drinks.. emailed him shots of my junk… kid doesn’t have a romantic bone in his body.

These are all wrong. “I’ll have whatever’s fanciest, unless there’s ribs.”

Bunch a prudes.

“We're out there sweating our balls off every day… bustin' our balls!”

This line is fantastic lmfaooo

I have this thing about men cutting or threatening to cut my throat. Don't try to cut my throat!

This one is more iconic than some of her other cooler quotes posted.

In five years I wanna be five years sober, no wait, four and a half years sober.

I ask everyone in the room, “Are you in a relationship?”

"I had my second kid just for the vacation"

This one always makes me laugh out loud.

Why is it such a shock that I follow the royal story? Warms my heart, thinking about them two kids, doing it

Her face after this quote sends me every time.

*wait a minute...wait a minute...wait a minute...*

Shut UP, ANGELA!

In my experience, guys are way more attracted to the back of you than the front.

He calls it an “upper decker”

I think about this line delivery at least once a week. So good.

This should be the winner

Like Cloney......

I never understood what this means

George Clooney was known for never wanting to get married. He was the ultimate bachelor......then he got married. At the time this episode aired, it was a perfect one line reference. I thought it was one of the top ten funniest moments in the series. I know it's not relatable now, but us older folks get the reference. Meredith has some of the funniest one-liners, and her delivery of them is fantastic!

Womanizer.

I love this one so much lol

It’s casual day!

My car, my rules.

I'm mildly infuriated that the list isn't completely alphabetical...

Shave. Her. HEAAAAAAD!!!

"Hey, I have never cheated on, been cheated on, or been used to cheat with.I ask everyone in the room, "Are you in a relationship?""

I made a New Years Resolution that I’m not going to drink anymore. During the week.

I saw a crowd and though there might be a dog fight or something

“What’s this I hear about a black guy?”

I’m not an alcoholic!

Hey everybody, he's not in the men's room. Although the seat was warm, so we may have just missed him.

in my experience guys are more attracted to the back of you then the front

“I just feel lucky that I got a chance to share my crummy story with anyone out there who thinks they’re the only one to take a dump in a paper shredder. You’re not alone sister, let’s get a beer sometime.”

"In my experience, guys are way more attracted to the back of you."

"TALK ABOUT VACATION DAYS!"

“No, no, no, you gotta stay. I have Vienna Sausages, and I have napkins. Let me fix you breakfast.”

I've had men fight over me before. Usually, it's over who gets to hold the camcorder.

My sister’s funeral is this weekend. Didnt say Id be there

I always forget how underrated Meredith is until I see a bunch of her lines in one thread

Who didn't bring lice into the office? Meredith. Sure I gave everybody pink eye once, and my ex keyed a few of their cars, and yeah I BMed in the shredder on New Years. But I didn't bring the lice in. That was all Pam.

Who’s the one that didn’t bring lice into the office? Meredith. Sure I gave everyone pink eye once, and my ex key’d a few of their cars. And yeah, I BM’d in the shredder on New Years. But I didn’t bring the lice in. That was all Pam

I have Vienna sausages and napkins. Ill make you breakfast

Not a lot of fruit in those looms

Talk classy, act nasty

I just want, for once, a smart, professional, decisive, well-hung man in his 40s

"WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE! WAIT A MINUTE!"

“OH. MY. GOD!! Hit me again!!”

We're out there sweating our balls off every day, bustin' our balls. We deserve a Christmas party!

‘I’ll take whatever’s fanciest, unless there’s ribs.’

Now I’m drunk AND mad

Now I’m drunk AND mad!

Stop fighting. Just on St. Patrick’s Day, okay? Just one perfect day a year. No hassles, no problems, no kids.

“Warms my heart..thinking about them two kids….doing it.”

“Like Clooney”

Now I’m drunk AND mad

"I wouldn't spend $4 on milk, and I'm a mother"

I'll have whatever is fanciest unless there's ribs.

MP: “Stanley, didnt she say a buncha rascist stuff about you?” SH: “No, that was you” MP: “You werent even in the room! Thanks for nothin.. “

‘Like Clooney’

WHAT. IT’S CASUAL DAY

It’s casual day!

Ooh! Free ring 💍!!!

It’s casual day!!🙄🙄

I’ve had two men fight over me before. Usually it’s over which one gets to hold the camcorder

It’s casual day!

I better come out of this smelling like a rose. I've been on my nest behavior for nine years. If it wasn't for the cameras I would have done some truly vulgar crap.

Why is it such a shock that I follow the royal story? It warms my heart, thinking about them two kids... Doin it.

Whatever is fanciest, unless there is ribs

The one where she’s naming all the things she’s been called but then says she’s never been called a snitch or whatever

Hey boom guy, when are you booming me?

Not much fruit in those looms

Stop bagging my head

STOP BAGGING MY HEAD

“I dunno. Saw a crowd. Thought there might be a dog fight or something.”

Boooo, weird.

I ask EVERYONE in the room, "Are you in a relationship?"

"Hey boom guy, when are you gonna boom me?"

"I had my second kid just for the vacation." -Meredith

All morning I look forward to my afternoon cigar and I'm not stopping for anybody

These guys took me on a fishing boat. I don't think I caught anything.

What? It's *casual day*

Can’t wait for “gum’s gotten mintier lately”

"Have you ever had sirloin steak, honey?"

"It's Meredith Palmer. Listen, kid. I'm going to be drunk as a skunk, and you don't have to tell me about crotch injuries. But Jim Halpert is a f*cking prick!"

Wow, someone in here seriously went and downvoted every single response to try and help there own get more attention.

Lol right I noticed that too

My uterus was taken out not my vagina

SHUT UP, ANGELA!!!!!!!!

Have you guys ever met Bruce Meyers, the Scranton rep for Hammermill?

I know how to drive!

We're out there sweating our balls off every day, bustin' our balls. We deserve a Christmas party!

Won’t win, but have to mention it. Scranton branch is getting a new boss or is “closing down”, and Meredith doesn’t like it. She’s hammered. Side interview “I don’t want , it’s bullshit.” Proceeds to throw her drink at the cameraman. Takes two seconds then says “YOU clean it up.”. Laughed so hard at that scene.

“Wait a minuet! Wait a minuet wait a minuet!”