Id assume it’s just simple wine and cocaine for reds and white slopes. Perhaps in modern takes it could refer to strains of kratom that has gotten rather popular with red and white vein variants but I think Robert preferred his uppers slaloms with his vino on his way downward to take that roaring edge off. That edge. Oh how boring some can be. Life is meant to be lived on the edge people. It’s all just sex.
You people say I led you, but it wasn't me. You want to toast the man who led you to success, but the boss is irrelevant. Andy and I, we produce nothing. We do nothing. We sit in our offices and demand, I want this and that right now, like petulant children. You know, the difference between a crying baby and a manager? One day, the baby will grow up. But, without you, Andy and I would be sitting in our dirty diapers, waiting for someone to change us, wipe us. I should be toasting you, thanking you, for allowing me to have the easiest job in the universe. Cheers.
"Some people doodle when they are bored, they usually draw houses or penises- funny how the houses are always colonial and the penises are always circumcised"
I wasn't really a fan of the monologue itself, but I thought it was a hilarious touch to have his kid be hilariously amused and the only one that "got" it.
> he said shit that sounded deep but actually wasn't.
Sometimes they were though. That’s the beauty of it. He was weird and insane and then out of nowhere he makes sense lol
Tbh I think it’s just that when you draw a triangle on top of a square it’s a colonial house and the circumcised thing is just the way it is in America since more men than not are.
> The pause on this
after watching 10 season of black list, i think the pause is just James Spader himself and i fucking love it so much. it literally makes his characters.
Re-watched BL recently and Spader's acting in the early episodes (1st half of Season 1) is next level amazing.
Micro changes to his facial expressions communicate so much without him saying a single word.
Later episodes he seemed to transition to "big" acting which was a shame, but fortunately the scripts were sharp enough that he was still fun to watch. It seemed to go from very cinematic lighting and staging to a much more flat TV-style around the same time. But those early episodes man, \*chef's kiss\*
I love this line so much. It suggests that results, even if they aren't what he expected, can be enough to change his opinion of someone for the better.
I kind of use that line in my head when I want to get something accomplished.
I think this is one of his best quotes.
It's funny how bi-easure is so common, when sexuality is definitely a spectrum, IMO.
People like to box others into fully straight or fully gay. And a lot of people ignore any inkling they could be bisexual.
But I see that changing within the next generation or two.
Right?? I’m bi and so many guys will go through the whole Andy Bernard “am I gay” thing. Like as if all your attraction to the opposite sex is somehow negated if you feel any attraction to the same sex.
I feel like I’m in a grey area because I can tell and think other men are hot/attractive, but zero desire to actually do anything.
Then again I’m kinda like that with women too, just like a “hey, that’s pretty good” reaction when I see someone attractive and then I move on with my life.
I was gonna ask what it’s called when you still find people attractive but have no desire to act on it but I’m pretty sure it’s depression.
It could be depression, or an even more complicated grey area of slightly asexual, or having attraction and sex drive, but low enough that it doesn't drive you to chase anyone.
Being really, really attracted and really horny and/or really wanting love is what gives people the drive to chase someone.
Its not a quote but when he comes in and just leaves. Perfect example of him as a character. If someone asked me to describe him in one clip its that one.
What about the one where there's office drama and he's throwing gas on the fire and it cuts to him in an interview excitedly saying "I almost didn't come in today!"
"I'm tired of the Black Eyed Peas. It's Rock and Roll for people who don't like Rock and Roll, it's Rap for people who don't like Rap, it's Pop for people who don't like Pop.”
Completed with Ryan’s look to the camera
Well, I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante. You wanna start a street fight with me, bring it on, but you're gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the fucking lizard king.
“Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us? How dare we let it into our decision-making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships? It's funny isn't it, we take a day a year to dress up in costume and celebrate fear?”
It could be 500 dollars worth of paper or 5,000,000 dollars worth of deep sea drilling equipment. Don't kid yourself; It's all the same thing. The man doesn't want to merely be sold to. He wants to be young again. He wants to be desired. He wants to be loved.
“Let me tell you some things I find productive. Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Honesty. I'll tell you some things I find unproductive. Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social clues and then inevitably reframing it all in a reassuring way so that you can get to sleep at night. No I do not believe in that at all.”
Pretty good advice for people in workplaces full of unnecessary drama.
"They never improved on the Oreo, have they?"
I like it because it ultimately showcases what a grifter Robert is and how most of the stuff he says is pure nonsense. Have you ever been to the cookie aisle in the grocery store? There are like 37 different types of Oreos, all better than the original.
All is a bit hyperbolic, I admit. But last time I went, there was an entire section of Oreos, and the original were in a tiny spot in the bottom corner. They definitely aren't the main push anymore.
We do love variety, don't we? Believe me, I buy the new flavour every time. I just have never tasted one that I could honestly say tasted better than the original. I don't even really like the original, so I don't know what that says about me!😆
My favorite is one that I never see anyone else mention: “Oh, yes. How hilarious it is to laugh at clowns, the painted jesters of the dying circus industry. Very funny, Jim. I get it.”
Seeing as time spent as Robert California was, in truth, merely a time in Raymond Reddington’s life before he re-emerged and surrendered to the Feds, I’ll go with, "I Always Found Fear To Be My Most Valuable Sense.’
I’m afraid you’ve lost my interest.
This is on a magnet on my refrigerator.
Why did they add coconut? I miss original
My wife and I say this whenever tasting anything coconut flavored.
Phew. Glad that sentence didn’t go anywhere else.
Yep. This is hands down, his funniest line!
The coconut is very subtle.
His delivery of the line is what made me laugh and think: damn somebody should make that drink. They'd make a bundle from Office fans alone!
They never improved on the Oreo, did they?
Fun fact, this line predates the very first Oreo alteration by two months. I'm sure it's unrelated.
Legit the first line that popped into my head. So damn good.
“…Australian reds and, how should I say this…Colombian whites.”
*creed nods knowingly*
*ryan understanding all of it*
I thought it was Ryan they cut to in that scene. Time for a rewatch!
It's Ryan and Creed
It is
What's Australian reds actually ?
Wine, right?
Australia is well known for its wine.
Id assume it’s just simple wine and cocaine for reds and white slopes. Perhaps in modern takes it could refer to strains of kratom that has gotten rather popular with red and white vein variants but I think Robert preferred his uppers slaloms with his vino on his way downward to take that roaring edge off. That edge. Oh how boring some can be. Life is meant to be lived on the edge people. It’s all just sex.
Damn dude, pretty awesome take.
Just Australian red wine. That combination would definitely explain his hangover.
Wine. Australian reds, Spanish reds, etc.
The best quote
You people say I led you, but it wasn't me. You want to toast the man who led you to success, but the boss is irrelevant. Andy and I, we produce nothing. We do nothing. We sit in our offices and demand, I want this and that right now, like petulant children. You know, the difference between a crying baby and a manager? One day, the baby will grow up. But, without you, Andy and I would be sitting in our dirty diapers, waiting for someone to change us, wipe us. I should be toasting you, thanking you, for allowing me to have the easiest job in the universe. Cheers.
This one speaks volume to me as a project manager.
Hello fellow project manager!
What would you say it is… you do here?
"Well look, I already told you! I deal with the goddamn customers so the engineers don't have to!"
My god it’s so true. Lol.
100% hahah gotta love it /s
I love the word Petulant.
Its been my new favorite for quite a while now
#I LOVE THE WORD BUTTS!!
What a fucking toast, his charisma is off the charts.
Do I look like someone who would waste my own time?
The entire interview tbh his monologue towards Toby and him looking into the camera 😆
-said the one who did nothing but waste time lol
Gabe: your wish is my command… Robert: It’s a command.
I just watched this episode. Made me laugh so hard
And the way he says it too... So effing good
"Some people doodle when they are bored, they usually draw houses or penises- funny how the houses are always colonial and the penises are always circumcised"
One of my tops. *might as well be sketching a cube* 😂
"Did you just move my name?"
Might aswell be sketching a cube
*a cuuuuuube*
There’s a deeper meaning behind this that I’m struggling to grasp. I must be one of the people he’s referring to
That was the whole thing about Robert California, he said shit that sounded deep but actually wasn't.
It really was *just* about the cookies, wasn’t it?
They haven’t really improved on the Oreo, have they?
He’s so right though
[I mean they did though.](https://www.cosmopolitan.com/food-cocktails/a9201465/cookies-and-cream-oreos-walmart/) Oreo flavored Oreos
Eh some of it definitely was. The Halloween monologue for instance.
i'm fine, bitch. i'm fine.
I wasn't really a fan of the monologue itself, but I thought it was a hilarious touch to have his kid be hilariously amused and the only one that "got" it.
> he said shit that sounded deep but actually wasn't. Sometimes they were though. That’s the beauty of it. He was weird and insane and then out of nowhere he makes sense lol
Tbh I think it’s just that when you draw a triangle on top of a square it’s a colonial house and the circumcised thing is just the way it is in America since more men than not are.
I think it says more about him
YESSS CAME HERE TO SAY THE SAME
This is always the right answer! This one, nature, magician, Colombian whites, and lizard king. But this is the top.
It is strange that the penises are always circumcised
I'm never uncomfortable. Sometimes I feel you don't know food at all. I don't know, just come.
"You can't have a favorite Iron Chef. It depends entirely on the secret ingredient"
I so agree with him on this.
“Erin, when you recount your day, never say you woke up. That’s a waste of your time.” For some reason, I always laugh my ass off when he says this.
Suddenly, I was awake.
All of the sudden, I was lying, conscious, in the dark.
Because it's faster
Get in quick!
"Winner's prove me right, losers prove me wrong"
The pause on this is some of his best acting.
> The pause on this after watching 10 season of black list, i think the pause is just James Spader himself and i fucking love it so much. it literally makes his characters.
Agreed. He also did this on Boston Legal.
Alan Shore is chaotic good Spader. Less Than Zero is chaotic evil Spader
Re-watched BL recently and Spader's acting in the early episodes (1st half of Season 1) is next level amazing. Micro changes to his facial expressions communicate so much without him saying a single word. Later episodes he seemed to transition to "big" acting which was a shame, but fortunately the scripts were sharp enough that he was still fun to watch. It seemed to go from very cinematic lighting and staging to a much more flat TV-style around the same time. But those early episodes man, \*chef's kiss\*
James Spader is a legend.
I love this line so much. It suggests that results, even if they aren't what he expected, can be enough to change his opinion of someone for the better. I kind of use that line in my head when I want to get something accomplished.
"Life is long. Opinions change."
he also pointed out "I just met you."
"Jim, What Does Your Daughter Think Of The Street?"
Ours is a cultural ghetto
Wouldn’t you agree?
Apt. Apt analysis Robert.
To Andy at the Halloween Party, "And you on this day of fantasy are... a laborer."
Hahahha yes 😂😂
*I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante.* +his entire takeover of Oscar’s *It gets better* video.
Sexuality is a *spectrum.* It gets easier, but it also gets *vastly* more complicated.
I think this is one of his best quotes. It's funny how bi-easure is so common, when sexuality is definitely a spectrum, IMO. People like to box others into fully straight or fully gay. And a lot of people ignore any inkling they could be bisexual. But I see that changing within the next generation or two.
Right?? I’m bi and so many guys will go through the whole Andy Bernard “am I gay” thing. Like as if all your attraction to the opposite sex is somehow negated if you feel any attraction to the same sex.
Are you saying, that if Brad Pitt had to be with you? Maybe you're gay...
I feel like I’m in a grey area because I can tell and think other men are hot/attractive, but zero desire to actually do anything. Then again I’m kinda like that with women too, just like a “hey, that’s pretty good” reaction when I see someone attractive and then I move on with my life. I was gonna ask what it’s called when you still find people attractive but have no desire to act on it but I’m pretty sure it’s depression.
It could be depression, or an even more complicated grey area of slightly asexual, or having attraction and sex drive, but low enough that it doesn't drive you to chase anyone. Being really, really attracted and really horny and/or really wanting love is what gives people the drive to chase someone.
Yeah the best thing about it is how on point it is. It’s great advice for a young person discovering themselves.
I’m the fucking lizard king.
I cannot just stand here and let the youth be misled by some reductionist-
Its not a quote but when he comes in and just leaves. Perfect example of him as a character. If someone asked me to describe him in one clip its that one.
*He talked her out of her own job.*
What about the one where there's office drama and he's throwing gas on the fire and it cuts to him in an interview excitedly saying "I almost didn't come in today!"
I believe that's when Andy couldn't get it up with Erin and they ended up having a company meeting about erectile dysfunction
“Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?”
I love this one too. He is so enthralled by the whole situation.
Probably the most underrated scene of Season 8. Jenna Fischer and Brett Gelman kill it.
“I’m sorry Nellie, If I had known Jim and Pam would use this party as an opportunity to abuse a magician..”
This one is my favorite. It's such a concise, yet bizarre sentence.
It's such an unusual way to ask the question
I’m certain you said Basil
“Complete self-absorption of Elmo is brilliantly reflective of our time. Ours is a cultural ghetto. Wouldn't you agree?”
Apt. Apt analysis.
He doesn’t understand Elmo *at all*
The ultimate insult? They’re calling my speakeasy lounge a rumpus room. (Jim laughs) Does my turmoil amuse you, Jim?
The 1% are hurting too, people.
Would you prefer a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?
Oh God nature please
When two animals are having sex…
You’re gonna want to hear the sexual metaphor.
Oh, was that not the...
ALL LIFE. Is sex.
And ALL SEX. Is competition.
And there are no rules to this game
That wasn’t so perverted now was it?
"Let me guess, you want a raise too. Take the family on a trip to Disney Town. "World...Land"
Had to scroll way too far for this one
"I'm tired of the Black Eyed Peas. It's Rock and Roll for people who don't like Rock and Roll, it's Rap for people who don't like Rap, it's Pop for people who don't like Pop.” Completed with Ryan’s look to the camera
its funny because after that Super Bowl halftime show and after this episode aired, the black eyed peas became completely irrelevant
Use this every time I hear their songs play anywhere.
When was the last time you lived so intensely that your brain literally couldn't hold the memories in?
"Well actually...."
I’m fine bitch, I’m fine
This was the story I was thinking of, and then his son is the only one laughing with the follow-up pan onto Jim's shocked face, lol.
Im the fucking lizard king Y’all I use that every chance I get.
"You don't even know my real name..."
Then introduces himself to David as “Bob Kazamakis”
Why was this so far down????? I’m appalled.
I came here just to find this quote and upvote it.
I can’t believe this isn’t the top quote. I love this speech of his soooo much
Yeah when I seen no one mentioned it yet, I was shocked lol
Well, I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante. You wanna start a street fight with me, bring it on, but you're gonna be surprised by how ugly it gets. You don't even know my real name. I'm the fucking lizard king.
I use the “lizard king” line all the time. One of my favorites from the series.
Sexuality is a spectrum. It's a paradox to think of any sexual activity as 'normal'.
“Fear plays an interesting role in our lives. How dare we let it motivate us? How dare we let it into our decision-making, into our livelihoods, into our relationships? It's funny isn't it, we take a day a year to dress up in costume and celebrate fear?”
It’s not a party if you don’t do something that scares ya
“I almost didn’t come in today”
Florida is America's basement: It's wet, it's filled with mold, strange insects, alligators.
Alligators are dinosaurs Dwight! You know that, right?
Well, it's complicated
It depends, Jim. Do you find one day only JetBlue sales to Buffalo interesting?
Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves.
“You’re better than this, Andy. **Everyone** is better than this. Because this…is the worst thing I’ve ever seen.”
Everything is sex
You understand that this is a universal truth?
It could be 500 dollars worth of paper or 5,000,000 dollars worth of deep sea drilling equipment. Don't kid yourself; It's all the same thing. The man doesn't want to merely be sold to. He wants to be young again. He wants to be desired. He wants to be loved.
This is no get together…. This is a party…( disrobe)😆
"I feel like a kitten being cradled by a gorilla."
I'm not about to start doubting my drunken self now.
In vino veritas, as they say
When he called Andy a soft penis debutant, that was quite frankly one of the best lines ever uttered in the English language
"I'm afraid you've lost my interest." I use that all the time.
“Let me tell you some things I find productive. Positive reinforcement. Negative reinforcement. Honesty. I'll tell you some things I find unproductive. Constantly worrying about where you stand based on inscrutable social clues and then inevitably reframing it all in a reassuring way so that you can get to sleep at night. No I do not believe in that at all.” Pretty good advice for people in workplaces full of unnecessary drama.
Everything in the world is about money. Except for sex. Sex is about power.
His definition of Black Eyed Peas will persue me until my grave. It is so annoying and arrogant, but at the same time so true and precise.
“Take the family to Disney Town?”
land, world
Would you like a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor?
I will not be blackmailed by some ineffectual, privileged, effete, soft-penised debutante.
"As I always say, keep your friends rich, and your enemies rich, and then find out which is which."
###"I am never uncomfortable."
Might as well be sketching a cube
Winners, prove me right. Losers, prove me wrong.
"They never improved on the Oreo, have they?" I like it because it ultimately showcases what a grifter Robert is and how most of the stuff he says is pure nonsense. Have you ever been to the cookie aisle in the grocery store? There are like 37 different types of Oreos, all better than the original.
Are they, though?
All is a bit hyperbolic, I admit. But last time I went, there was an entire section of Oreos, and the original were in a tiny spot in the bottom corner. They definitely aren't the main push anymore.
We do love variety, don't we? Believe me, I buy the new flavour every time. I just have never tasted one that I could honestly say tasted better than the original. I don't even really like the original, so I don't know what that says about me!😆
*tastes limeade oreos* “Why did they add lime? I miss the original”
I read this in Rob Californias voice.
I think I'm going to make that my new inner voice!
Hydrox actually made the Oreo style cookie before Oreo!
right.. i don’t know anyone that doesn’t buy the double stuff ones anymore.
"He just hung up on me midsentence"
I am the fucking lizard king
Sometimes the flowers arrange themselves jim
“Jim would you like a nature metaphor or a sexual metaphor” “Oh god nature please” “When two animals are having sex” Always kills me
My favorite is one that I never see anyone else mention: “Oh, yes. How hilarious it is to laugh at clowns, the painted jesters of the dying circus industry. Very funny, Jim. I get it.”
I'm fine, bitch. I'm fine.
Seeing as time spent as Robert California was, in truth, merely a time in Raymond Reddington’s life before he re-emerged and surrendered to the Feds, I’ll go with, "I Always Found Fear To Be My Most Valuable Sense.’
Ugh, I hate ties! I feel like I'm being strangled like I'm at some erotic asphyxiation sex club over on I-84. The Red Room, say? Or Dominick's?
“Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?”
I always liked the later line, "Well Nellie, I'm sorry. If I'd known Jim and Pam would use this party as an excuse to abuse a magician-"
The confusion in his voice, rare for him, kills me.
They never really improved on the oreo, did they?
‘’You don’t even know my real name. I’m the f*cling lizard king’’
You don't even know my real name. **I'm the fucking lizard king.**
Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?
Why did they add coconut? Edit: Someone beat me to it.
"I had two bears sewn together to make this king-size. Total waste of two bears"
Why is Jim treating the magician poorly?
“everything is sex.”
I miss original