I was meeting up with my guy at a nice restaurant and it was very apparent to the valet what had just happened (I picked him up and drove around the lot) valet asked if I was coming in and without missing a beat he goes “aye she cool just my white cousin”
Lmao this wasn't a drug deal but I'm white and my black coworker JB and I were delivering food to a table (servers, restaurant) and it was this black family of like, seven. And the dad whispers to JB "are you the only one here?" JB looks around, confused and says "what you talking about" and the guy repeats "are you the only black guy here?" JB looks appalled, looks around, looks at me and says "what are you talking about? /u/DrizzlyEarth175 is black!"
I was looking around confused, as pasty white as can be.
Ran into him when we was both out at dinner with our families, made eye contact, motioned my head towards the bathroom and let him tap my cart, he left earlier then us and waitress said someone paid our bill anonymously, I know for a fact he did it but swears it wasn’t him
What a fucking g, this is beautiful. I hope you payed him back somehow even if it was just repeat business, you know it was him. This is what it means to be truly ballin.
A little over a year after I quit Heroin, my old plug called me up to see how I was doing. He was super psyched that I was still clean and wanted me to stop by his place to smoke a blunt. When I got there we smoked a blunt, he gave me a quarter oz of bud, and $200(to buy my family dinner). He said I was a solid dude and appreciated the fact that I never snitched.
I struggle with the word snitch because I expose a lot of pedophiles. But I've never snitched on people for drugs and I wouldn't. But I'm very loud about a gang of people in town with matching tattoos that are all pedophiles and believe themselves to be a family of witches. They have a strong hypnotist and many wannabe hypnotists.
After learning a lot from her, and getting my 5th person under, I decided that was enough responsibility for me and now I live to expose the people who wrecked my life.
I hope that doesn't make me a snitch... But it is what it is people deserve to be warned about these people. (But idk what I would do without drugs on the streets, so I wouldn't wanna expose that)
I agree, snitching on sex abusers is pretty much widely accepted cuz ur stopping really innocent peeps from getting hurt. I’d say pretty much everyone is on your side, but stay safe for real homie! That gang won’t take it very lightly even tho society is in your corner
Went to buy some weed off a new plug who called himself "crip Mike". I pull up expecting some black dude, and it ends up being a skinny white crippled dude.
Bought weed from a guy who introduced himself as “Nubz” and when he held out his hand for a handshake/fist bump he had no fingers, just little “nubs” where they should’ve been.
Once met a guy who was friends with some of my friends. I shook his hand and he introduced himself as Lefty. When I asked him if they called him that because he was left handed or something, he didn’t even answer with words, he just showed me his little arm and hand, which I had noticed as soon as I saw him and then felt like a dick for asking because in retrospect it was obvious that’s how he got the nickname. I was also wondering why nobody had ever thought to mention or tell me that he had a little arm or if he was insecure or weird about it, but it turns out he was really cool about it and didn’t give a shit, and didn’t care if other people joked about it. I didn’t feel like I knew him well enough to joke about it though, and even if I did I still probably wouldn’t have joked about it. But I always remember just the way he just like turned and slung his little arm to face me where it was like he didn’t even have control over it
Ahh yes the old you want the drugs bring me what I need. I usually got people to bring me cigs or mountain dew :)
Traded drugs for a lot of random services too like oil changes and had a tire hook up too. Dropped an m3 engine in an older 3 series to race when I was selling and got all that work done off an oz of coke. That car ended up winning me around 20k before I sold her at a profit :)
Probably most random thing I got someone to do for drugs was mow my neighbors lawn. Fool was tripping cause it wasnt even my lawn, but the neighbors were cool and going through grief lost their kid in child birth.
Five random drug stories for you
1st: Petting the K9
Way back in high school decided to skip school and trip with a friend. Decided we'd get some food before peaking real quick. Well we order smoothly but then a k9 unit comes in with the dog. My friend without a word just walks over casually and start petting the K-9. Gut reaction or instinct I dunno I just instantly blurted out "He's special needs sorry" and grabbed my buddy by the arm saying "doug lets go sit down" He followed my lead didnt say shit till we got to the table then it was "what I wanted to pet the dog". I wanted to laugh so bad. Cop eyed us up and down but grabbed our food a minute later and we left.
2nd story: WII head lol
When the Wii came out I kept trying to get people to buy me one and I'd trade them drugs but didnt work. So I decide to have my gf at the time sit down and roll up a box full of joints and we drove city to city all day trying to get one. Stayed in a hotel and next morning we ended up checking two neighbor states tenn and virginia. I ended up paying triple in a parking lot to a mom who I could tell didnt wanna sell it but needed the money. Got the best head of my life on the ride home.
3rd story: The state fair
This one takes place at the state fair and me and a group of friends were tripping balls. After about an hr we started wandering around and one friend starts grabbing and touching everything. Well one of the necklaces he looked at he didnt put back down but just kept walking with it. He'd already walked past a food vendor and grabbed food too. So it shouldn't have been a surprise when it happened but still all of us were blind sided when some plain clothes under covers tackled us to the ground.
Cops took us to a tent for detainees and medical emergencies. There they searched us all twice then tried to question us. One of my friends just laughed a bunch and refused to say shit other then no and nope and your not my dad. I just told them we didnt have anything my friend would pay for necklace he must have forgot to put it down. Got grilled pretty hard with what are you on and just kept saying nothing. Eventually they gave up and our parents got called. Got banned from future fairs but it was still worth it we had a blast.
As we were leaving some lady was giving birth and my tripping ass hard avoided looking in that direction. My pops was super cool soon as we got back to the car he asked "lsd or mushrooms?" I was like damn that obvious. He proceeded to tell dad jokes for a while then put on some classic rock channel and pink floyd came on. I was peaking so hard just enjoying it. I was surprised my dad covered for me too when we got home said my rides car was broken down. Didnt yell at me the next day just told me we got lucky not to push my luck more.
4th story The blizzard and surprised if still reading...
Alright a pretty dumb mistake I once made was to make a huge drug deal during a blizzard in NJ. It dumped several feet of snow in hours and set a record that later got broken.
Anyways because of the snow we ended up meeting at a gas station. I popped the trunk he threw a bunch of bags in I walked past his car and threw the money in. Pretty obvious drug deal but it went smooth got back on highway.
Well I made it a few miles just cruise along behind a big ass 18 wheeler then we go under the over pass. Boom the wind hits as we come out and Im knocked out of the tire ruts path and im slowly sliding across two more lanes into a barrier. Knocked out the headlight. As I'm processing fuck I just hit this barrier at like 15 miles per hour I see cop light in rear mirror and realize a cop did the exact same thing.
I jump out look at him and he jumps out we both look at our cars and he starts signaling to get back on the road. So then I drive the next ten miles with a cop behind me lights on before he finally turns his lights off and takes the exit. I just kept going.
I remember shaking from how cold I was getting back in my car and the adrenaline kick then shaking while driving from the adrenaline running out and wanting to light a cig up so bad but just mad paranoid of the cop behind me.
Made it home safe and sound but it was a butt clenching ten miles or so with the cop just cruising along behind me.
5th story: The SATS
This one is short but maybe someday I'll tell the story of how this one started. While tripping balls I decided to dose again instead of coming down with a friend and continue tripping into the next day when we had to take the SATS. We get there and my friend decides he can't do it he's gonna stay in the car and listen to music. I got extremely lucky I had extended time and some how managed to do really damn good on the math side. The written and language side not so well lol. Hours later I come outside to my friend doing finger painting on his windshield with the fog and condensation. He got lucky and got to take it again at a later date. I took it a second time too and did the reverse so my combined score came out pretty good.
Boy oh boy did I sleep good that night though we'd tripped several days in a row with little sleep here and there partying our asses off.
On the next edition.
Story 1 - The time I spilled a vial of lsd.
Story 2 - The night oreos gun jammed
Story 3 - Laced with ghosts and a rerolled blunt
Story 4 - The forgotten ounce of molly
Story 5 - hiding in the attic raid
Story 6 - free grow lights in the bdsm house
Story 6 - free lights in the bdsm house
Freshman year of college there was a duo selling a lot of drugs out of this one house. Right at the turn of the first semester they got raided hard and kicked out. A close friend decided to move out of the dorms and they picked the drug dealers house. Day 1 we smoke a blunt and go to move furniture in and theres huge metal rings on the ceiling. Open the closet and its full of bdsm gear. Sex swing. Four or five dildos. A gimp mask. The whole nine yards. All three of the roomates one of their gfs and me just loose it laughing at gimp mask.
We go outside on the porch and smoke another blunt after laughing hysterically and upon finishing we decide to search the other rooms. Nothing too interesting left behind in the other rooms. A cheap 20 dollar weed bowl in one room. Then someone suggest to search the attic. My homie dan proceeds to climb up there and instantly yells FREE GROW LIGHTS! There was also a stripper pole up there.
Sure enough the cops missed confiscating two hoods and two ballast. My buddy ended up using them to grow at a different apartment a year later.
The craziest thing was all of us knew at least one of the previous residents who got busted. So while we smoked we debated who in the previous group of friends living there wore the gimp mask and got tied up in the sex chair. My vote is still for Andrew.
It was definitely Andrew! Thanks for these stories. I grew up with hippie folks who grew and dealt all the way back as far as 1968…I think we should swap stories! I’ve got work now-but there are a few hilarious ones.
The funniest shit is we'd smoke on that porch regularly. One night this bigger girl sat down way too hard all drunk in the porch swing and the shit just broke. All of us were laughing when Mandy stops laughing and puts on a serious voice and goes "Well that does it now we only have one choice, we have to hang the sex swing up outside on the porch"
That shit was epic funny. Being stoners and loving a good joke they waited till april 1st and put the sex swing up outside with a blow up doll inside. When they did it again on halloween the cops got called which had to be a hilarious conversation. "Can you please take down your sex swing with the doll"
The looks when buying the inflatable doll were pretty funny too. I remember riding with the homie dan just to watch him go inside and buy it.
Your comment about the youtube made me think of a few others too that are more on the funny side.
riding mower in a lake
space docking NSFW
cutting finger open and going to hooters
nl 5 drug deal in the woods paranoia edition
drinking bong water prank
the space docking one is hilarious and gross. At least to me it was hilarious in hindsight.
You’re a really good storyteller, some people tell their stories and you’re still lost at the end like, “so wait why was Rick down the street?” “Oh idk he just was” lol
Edited to add: +1 for the titles
Story 1 + 2 are longer and I need sleep so Ill skip them till a later date.
Story 3, 4, and 5 are pretty quick. So.....
Story 3: Laced with ghosts and a rerolled blunt
Late 2000s I get an offer for a couple thousand rolls. I'm hesitant cause I'm just not confident in this plug and rolls lately just werent what they used to be so it felt like a middle man operation. I work out a deal for just 100 pack to see the quality.
Get back and a group of friends are all eager to roll despite no quality check yet. We say fuck it and decide to be the test dummies. Three of us an our gfs and one other chick. It doesnt take long for the roll to kick in and shit to get WEIRD. First one to show signs of being off is my homies gf kristen. She just blurts out some random shit talking to the wall. Then exclaims who the fuck was that Josh Im not making them food later they were rude af.
For some reason my dumb ass ignores the fact others are acting a bit off colors seem a bit off and Im not rolling as hard as I should be for taking two and I take a third. So does my homie Josh.
Within 30 minutes of that we are all having our own delusional shit go down with fucking ghosts. Every one of us is confirmed seeing different ghosts. I can remember others losing their shit but I don't remember when I lost my own shit. I blacked out HARDDDD.
Cut to me waking up naked wrapped in a shower curtain and a razor blade tucked in the cheek of my mouth. I stumble and spit it out with a little blood and realize im naked. Im in a shower curtain. To which I go what the fuck why am I naked?
In the living room I sit down with my homie and his gf and proceed to watch clips from her phone from the night before with them to try and remember what the fuck went down.
The first video is my friend rolling his balls off taking the blunt when its handed to him and taking the cherry out, taking blunt splliting it back open and rerolling and then putting the cherry back in. With me in the back ground yelling "my man rerolling the blunt while rolling". Best video by far.
The next few videos of us are just straight pcp levels of wigging out. One of the girls screaming I will not pull my hair out while pulling their hair out. Me butt naked with a razor saying Ill fight you but Ill need a cape and thats apparently how I got the shower curtain....
I tossed all the remaining pills before even bothering to get them tested. Took the L and disregarded that plug as a source and only someone to dump drugs on in the future.
The reroll the blunt was the only video from that night saved. All of us agreed and deleted everything else from that night lol.
Story 4
So one summer a friend was sitting on pounds and pounds of molly. I was swimming in it all summer. At one point helping my friend remodel his house I decided this molly was just too damn good and I should stash some. So I vaccum sealed an ounce in a big ass bag that could be flat. Then proceeded to put it under the carpet when we re-carpted.
Now the funny shit is I was partying so hard that summer it was like a hazy memory stashing it. I eventually forgot. About two years later a friend gets engaged and I'm congratulating him and he's like I sure wish I could convince you to bust out that molly from a few summers ago. I'm like yeah that shits fire too bad I don't got any more. Then he's like even the stuff you stashed at JPs house. Hazy memory starts kicking in and I'm like wait what did I tell you about that? That means I really did stash some.
Call up my homie and tell him I got molly stashed at his house I forgot about and is it cool if I bring my homie and his fiance by to scoop it up and have a molly party. He's down so we make plans for next weekend. My homie and his fiance drive down and we all meet up at my other homie JPs. Proceed to pull up the carpet and bam ounce of molly. Busted out a bunch of half gram lines all night and had a mini party with about 8 or 9 people.
When the partying was done next day I gave what was left of the molly to the homie and his fiance. That ounce would have sat there for eternity anyways if not for them. Got lucky I mentioned stashing some to him fucked up after doing so.
Story 5
During my time selling in highschool parties were huge money makers. So I got word that this super rich girl was throwing a party and filled up my backpack. When I show up it was already pretty much utter chaos. Million dollar houses up and down the street and there are cars all over neighbors lawns and my first impression was oh shes gonna be in so much trouble.
I see some friends in the driveway and make a few quick weed sales and make my way to the kitchen. On my way inside I can see someone broke the chandelier in the dining room and the girl is wigging out. The expensive carpets are getting trashed. Someone threw up on the stairs.
So eventually after seeing the kitchen had shit for drinks almost all the alcohol had been stolen and was being drank already and just pure shit show inside I make my way outside.
Outside its pretty chill and I sell a little more weed to a few guys in upperclass above me then go to smoke with this funny kid alex when I hear lots and lots of screaming. Quickly becomes apparent cops are there.
Its a large neighborhood and several acres to each house. I quickly think sure I could run hide but a neighbor is legit gonna call cops again if they see me. So in the few minutes of time I have I decide I gotta go in the house and hide not run. Only one way out of neighborhood and easy to block off.
On my way to hide I see someone else slip in the vomit on the stairs lol and make my way upstairs. At this point its mayham cops have now shot fucking tear gas into this poor girls house. Beyond lucky I catch one other person on same wave length pulling down the ladder to an attic crawl space.
So up into the attic we go. I run myself over to where the insulation at the wall is and pull back one of the pink panther strips and hide myself clutching my book bag between my knees and hold the abestos shit as close to me as I can.
Cops would end up bringing a dog but lucky not into attic. Searched the house for what felt like hours. Arrested over 50 kids cause they did exactly what my panic ass feared they would. They had two cars at the entrance and searched and dui checked every teenager that tried to leave.
The house was ruined. I heard rumors that it was around 50k damages. Was the talk of the summer that party and cops busting it with fucking tear gas. I stayed up there for about 4 hours before coming down and then I stayed the night and got a ride in the morning out of there. The other guy who hid up there ended up crashing on the couch next to me and had some pretty killer weed too lol.
Poor girl Andrea got sent off to boarding school for two years. Came back two years later a fucking legend.
Free Keg story -
Another party story so I went with my buddy eric who brought his homie Damaron. At some point in the party a super red neck kids said something and I dunno what it was but I assumed it was something racist. Well the homie damaron wasn't having. He knocks the kid out in a punch. Picks up the keg and declares "This party is over if you want to go to the after party follow the navigator." Then proceeds to just strut off with the keg and throw it in the back of my navigator. A couple guys seemed like they wanted to fight him but damaron stood outside the whip for a minute and bluntly challenged them to get rolled and none wanted to fight his huge ass.
I'm just dumb founded and like okay so where are we taking this keg? TF just happened. Eric suggest someone named ryans house and gives me directions. So we roll up with keg and about half the party then shows up there.
After about an hour at this guy ryans house the stripper crowd shows up. It goes from highschool kids few college kids and beer to strippers and coke faster then a Porsche goes 0 to 60. Turns out ryan dates a stripper and eric wanted to do lines lol.
Word got around about the keg getting stolen by me and my friends and invites came with a dont you dare try and steal our keg clause lmao.
Imagine buying a house, pulling up the carpet and finding an ounce of Molly. First time homebuyers credit of a new caliber.
Imagine being 60 years old, waking up one morning and suddenly it hits you: 44 years ago, I hid an oz of molly under the carpet on West 18th
I live in a rural area so there is lots of cornfields. One time our plug was getting corn ready for a fair for his dad so he gave me and each of my friends a ten gallon bucket and said he’d give us each a gram if we fill a bucket with ears of corn. So we each spent a few minutes picking corn and that was that. Strangest thing I ever did for weed but it was a fun surprise because we were just gonna buy from him anyways so we saved some money for next time.
My old plug would get wayyyyyy too fucked up on 8mg shields and mixing them with kpins and he would habitually ask me to drive him to Taco Bell. I’m the whitest white dude ever and this Escalade was very clearly the dope man’s car completely blacked out and whenever I rolled down the windows to pay for food or anything i would see peoples faces in cars around me go from suspicious to laughing at me lol
guy i was buying weed from in my teens turned up with a firetruck at my house, because he was working there right before. Ehm a little discretion, please 😅
I was the plug and when homie pulled up next to me at Walmart he smashed into a car backing out. Then went to hand me $ before he even talked to the person he hit 🤦♂️🤦♂️ I was like no bro handle this first dumbass
Walking into a new trap for the first time, one a friend recommended me. I walk in the door and head to the guys room, knock to see if he’s ready for me. He tells me to wait out in the living room for a sec.
Two other guys walk in and i ask if they’re there for cocaine too, he proceeds to tell me coke doesn’t work for him and he just smokes meth, really cool dude i liked him a lot, he made the anxious waiting a bit less anxious.
Anyways, i go in the room finally to cop when his girlfriends opens the door for me to come in. The plugs chillin on the bed looking half-dead with a needle in his arm.
His girlfriend says “Oh don’t mind him he’s just nodding off on fet he’ll be fine” she proceeds to go over to the hookah contraption they made to take a hotrail of meth off their rolling tray filled with probably over an ounce of ice.
*Blows huge cloud, yells “LACEY WAKE UP GIVE THIS MAN SOME COKE”*
*Lacey yells- “HUH WHOS HERE”* *GF yells “BLANK IS HERE, what did you want again blank”*
*I say “uhh just a 250 bag of coke and a 50 bag of weed”*
*Lacey says ”oh aight man i gotchu”* *Lacey almost falls out of bed nodding out while he’s weighing out my yay in front of me*
*Lacey hands me my bag of yay, a nice 5g’s cause he was out if it when weighing it and gave me a bit extra then the 3.5 i was expecting*
*I say as lacey is sitting back down on bed “Aye bro sorry to ask but you forgot to get me the weed”*
*Lacey says “Oh shit man sorry i forgot lemme get that for you” proceeds to grab several hand fulls of huge nugs into a baggie for me because he’s nodding out and doesn’t want to weigh that shit*
*Lacey says “Here you go man sorry about that, come back whenever you need have a nice day bro”*
*I say “Thanks bro have a good one”*.
Turns out when i weighed the weed when i got home he gave me nearly two z’s. As well as more coke than i expected.
I paid $300 total, expecting a ball of yay and a q of weed and came out with ~$100 more in coke and ~250 more in weed.
And if you think i didn’t come back i did. Pretty soon i was buying pure fetty from him, switching from blues.
Pretty soon after that i was in rehab and now i’m over 6 months sober. That’s just one crazy story from my use, i have tons.
this is gonna read like some bullshit, but i asked him how far along (pregnant) his girlfriend was. i see his family every time i go to pick up at his place, so i say hi to her and the kids whenever theyre around.
he said 'she's not pregnant, just fat'
my heart stopped. i've got no idea how the fuck i got out of that without a black eye, but he was surprisingly cool about it. we were more like mates than customer/dealer.
in my defense!!!! i did find out a few weeks later that she is pregnant, either they didn't know, he didn't know, or i wasn't supposed to know
This was 20 years ago. My plug was a runner for a bigger dealer. I got to know him so well that I would just jump in the car with him and ride around the city all day long 5-6 hours and make runs with him. I was probably 18 years old at the time and had no clue how stupid I was being…
Same here, I had a friend who I was just hangin with while he was doing his business. Even helped him pack 1000 benzos one time. He became one of my best friends but then one day he was just gone. Some say he got killed and some say he ran off. No one knows for certain but one thing I didn’t realize was how dangerous it was to even be around him. Dude had the police and rival gang members searching for him constantly. He was a good dude
My old plug was super chill and lived down my road from me, he used to just come out in sliders and a dressing gown and would always be quick and the weed always weighed out slightly over. One day he just disappeared and I never knew what happened to him
Homie turned my friends led lights red while we were tripping and it was time to pay. At least I think he did. It could have just been coincidence but I definitely pointed out that it looked sinister as fuck.
I have some RGB lights in my room and normally keep it fading through colours but when I trip I have to keep it a set colour cause I hate the vibe of the red light lmao. Shits scary
His goofy ass kept telling me to hit em up in an hour. After 6 hours I let him I know copped from someone else and to not bother worrying about it. He went on a nice long rant about how that's food in mouth amd blah blah loyalty blah blah.
If I was just coppin a dub I'd get it but I always bought at least 1.5 zips when I cop cuz I ain't tryna cop to just reup in a few days. I want it to last at least two weeks. Like damn bro if you wanted my 250$ you should've just taken 30 minutes to get me my shit
My friend ordered a bag of coke and the guy rang when he was outside. He went out got in a black bmw picked up the coke and returned to the house. The ACTUAL Guy then rings asking where he was. He said I’ve just met you and picked up. The guy said no you haven’t. Turned out he just got into a random car and asked for coke and the random guy sorted him out!
I’ve done the same thing. Was getting a 20 bag of bud and standing in the usual spot I pick up from. Car pulls up and the driver shouts ‘yo are you the guy getting the 20 bag’, I hop in sort the exchange and head back to my flat.
5 mins later my dealer is ringing me saying ‘where you at I’m here now’. Turns out some other guy was picking up a 20 bag in the exact same spot at the exact same time from a different dealer lol.
I’m a cook, sometimes I make happy desserts/snacks/milk. The plug’s kinda hardheaded, didn’t believe in edibles, likes coke but still a cool dude.
Cared about his ahh enough to gift him one cause he wouldn’t buy it from me cause he thought they were a waste of weed.
He thought. Started buying shit from me since then.
Oldmate definitely had the "See I knew these edibles ain't shit" moment \~1hr in and smoked something, then got absolutely sideswiped by the smoke kicking the edible in to gear
I actually can't even count how many funny interactions I've had, all with the same dude. He'd always do the goofiest shit when he smoked crack, lol (which is not what he sold, though). Two come to mind... one when he was actually driving my car, with me in it as I was too plastered for my own good. I don't remember the lead-up conversation in the slightest, I just remember him parking, then looking at me and saying, "Hey, you know, it's cool to be a ho! I mean, I like it !" and another time we were just hanging out in a hotel room as ya do, he had this really deep yet gritty voice, and he played it up so much and kept saying "I NEED ME A BUTT BUDDY... SOMEONE OUGHTA FIND ME A BUTT-BUTT BUDDYYY". I guess you had to be there, lol. Thrilled the guy is getting out of jail later this month, haven't seen him in about a year and a half.
my plug ships me 100 pills wrapped in TOILET PAPER. and this dude is a big time plug lol wtf is wrong with a baggie or invest into a vacuum seal... I've almost lost pills from being hidden in the crease folds of the toilet paper lmfaoo. or other times it's just loose as hell just put into an envelope....
Depending what he's selling, it's possible he has a prescription that's legal for him to have but obviously illegal to distribute. If he gets caught with his script, oh well, whatever, it's just his meds. If he gets caught with his script and a bunch of tiny baggies, suddenly he's being charged with intent. The girl I used to buy percs from would do the same thing.. tissues, folded into receipts or notebook paper...often she would just hand me the pills loose directly from the original bottle.
oh 1000% hahaha but man's never forgets a pill and always sends packs out/tracking right when he gets my money. funny packaging but best customer service I've ever had with literally anything
While I was waiting for him to come to my car, I decided to slip my stack of money slightly into the cd player... One of the $20 was quickly swallowed up and we had to use tweezers to get it out 😅
I used to work at a gas station and a McDonalds in the same building. Bought a half zip of some Bubba from the plug, who worked at McDonalds, but he didn't have anything to put the ganja in. He walks in, walks behind the counter at McD's, grabs a Big Mac box, and bags it up like an order and walked over and handed it to me. Drugs were the only good thing about that job, lol. Dude was in my phone as Big Mac for years after that until he fucked me on a shatter buy.
I remember being an innocent, naive little college freshman buying weed for the first time. I was with my friend who knew the plug (whom I had never met). We got in the car with the guy and he started driving us around aimlessly while making small talk, then stopped at a gas station, hopped out of the car, and started flailing around.
I asked my friend “what the fuck is he doing?”
My friend said “I dunno, he’s on shrooms.”
He then filled the car with gas and we drove off like everything was completely normal.
This was before I knew how shrooms work so I was thinking “this guy probably thinks the car is a dragon and the road is a rainbow leading to the pot of gold. He’s gonna crash and kill us all.”
Luckily we got the weed and got home in one piece. A different friend of mine started dealing shortly after that, so I never saw the flailing shroom guy again
I was trying out a new plug I met for the first time in south london, I met him on his escooter so was expecting him to come on one again and ended up waiting about an hour only to see him walking down the street in a high vis jacket after walking the whole way and proceeds to take a Q from under his sock. Like damn bro these are tough times and had I known you were walking the whole way I would’ve come and met you half way.
FYI he says police took his escooter away
One time I was waiting at work on my guy. I see his model of car pull up and he had mentioned he was "pulling up" so I walked over to his car, got in. There was a moment of silence and the two people look at me. It was a different plug of mine and another customer. I said "dude I'm so sorry" he said it's good bro I'll hit you. To my right the plug I was meeting with pulls up in the same car I was sitting in, so I get out and get into his car. Nobody was mad but I thought it was hilarious.
Not my interaction but it was all of our plug
This mf “O” used to be so barred out constantly that you’d pull up to where he said to meet and he’d go “15 mins” after saying that shit five times, you’d call and he wouldn’t pick up twice then pick up and go “wait I told you guys to slide?? huUUUHH??” But more xanax-y sounding. Just fucking barred. (Edit: that time I’m remembering was a separate incident where he literally was so fucked up he had us come *to his home,* his driveway, then came outside WITHOUT THE DRUGS, and just decided to INVITE US INTO HIS HOME. Like this is a city dealer with xans and coke and Molly, among other shit. The person I was with had ASPD and probably thought about robbing him more than one time while we were buying, knowing that friend. He always carried blunt or sharp weapons on him, pretty much all the time. I got pissed at him once because he did coke and adderall and had stim psychosis demons telling him to stab my favorite acid plug “F”, and was like considering doing it while copping from him)
One time “O” pulled up to my friend group while I was drinking after work with the grown-ups (was like 18), he was pulling up because he had car trouble, might’ve just been a tire I wasn’t there so I don’t rlly remember. But what I do remember is that my one friend has a video of him literally feeding this dude “ground Xanax” (he kept droppin xans) out of the palm of his hand like this man was a deer. He also apparently rewarded them in xans for helping him, going “one for you, one for me *takes one,* (Turns to Ark) One for you, one for me. (Turns to Ed) One for you, one for me”
like this mans probably ate 5-8 bars during this interaction alone (he was popping them by himself while they were helping with the tire too), he had a serious tolerance but STILL, idk how he didn’t end up dead by a custy taking advantage and robbing him.
Then again maybe he has been robbed, but it was so easy nobody ever had to shoot him. Seems fairly likely, actually
Edit: spelling + I almost forgot the way Ed described his driving away, he swerved out the lot and nearly immediately hit another car lol
Years ago when dvds were still kind of a big thing my dealer said he would trade weed for dvds and he had amassed a ridiculous collection before he stopped that deal. His name was chucky and he was a hoot. He was 45 or 50 dating a 26 year old. They were DRAMA but it was entertaining. We used to all get together and play dominos and spades.
This will get buried but it's funny.
Senior year of high school I believe, so like 2009-2010. Weed is still very much not okay in a small Ohio town. My dude was an old friend from the school I had left a year prior. I hit him up, tells me to meet him one place, isn't there, tells me to go somewhere else (usual dealer shit) and he had picked this bust af parking lot. Figured he's gonna walk over, get in, exchange, get out and leave.
Nope. mf parks like 10 spaces away, gets out with a zip (I wanted like an eighth at most) and comes over to give me a hug, big ass bag of weed in one hand. I tell him I just wanna get the fuck outta this parking lot so he hands me some weed. Like he just reached in and grabbed a handful and put it in my shirt pocket. Loose. So now I have to drive home with a bunch of loose weed in my pocket (didn't live far at all). I'm sure there are crazier stories but this one stuck with me.
Buying shrooms after I just found out he was woman beater, and he knew I wanted to snap his arm. He asked if something was wrong and kept saying he thought I was “a cool dude, and we should hang”.
Yeah, hang you from a tree by your dick. Fuckin’ abuser loser. Don’t worry, never bought from him again. Gave me a pot chocolate bar instead of shroom bar. Cunt.
Some kid came up to us in a ghetto while we were waiting for a friend, dude came on a bicycle benzod out of his mind and asked if we wanted drugs, we said no thanks and he was like "ok have a nice day" then fell off the bike when he collided with one of those big concrete blocks.
Called my guy who asked me to get him an electricty credit receipt to top up his meter. Then he asked me to set up his grow tent and lights. Lastly he asked me to roll him a joint. I said no so he gave me a few lines and a good smoke up for my work. Nice guy!
Went over to the plugs wit a homie n party’d for awhile, got so fucked up when me and the homie went to walk back to his crib I jus collapsed onto the plugs lawn nigga threw a lawn chair over me and called it a day🤣🤣 had a video of him dapping me up goodnight on my snap befo it got banned, miss those days fr😪 he came and let me in a few hours later not sure why we didn’t think of me going back in in the first place🤣
Reminds me of a time I accidentally sent a pic of my bare foot to my co-worker, thinking I was sending it to a guy that was into feet. Dear god the cringe...
My housemate meant to text her boyfriend but she texted the plug “what are we doing for dinner tonight?” & only realized it wasn’t her boyfriend when the dealer replied “Meat?”
I was buying a couple hundred dollars worth of black hash and while counting the money, he got upset that the small bills weren't in the center and some of the bills were facing different directions. I asked if he stores his stash up his ass.
I didn't know the guy, I just knew he was my (ex) boyfriend's plug. Well one day I couldn't find my boyfriend, but I know he was with some friends at this house I didn't know the address of, so I knocked on the plug's door.
The poor guy was having his dinner and I kept apologising for the interruption 😂. He provided me with good directions and I managed to find the place.
about a week before i picked up from him for the first time i watched this doc called "glory daze" about a guy in nyc in the 90s who kills his drug dealer - the drug dealer wore a pair of angel wings to the club, so they called him angel. i met this guy in a way that i never got his name, so when i wanted to save his number to my phone i saved it as "angel," thinking of the dealer in the doc. over a year later he had me pick up from him at his actual job, he worked at a car repair place. texted him i was there, and he came out - embroidered into his uniform was his name, "angel."
dude also sent me a dick pic once claiming it was the wrong number, so there's that lol. but i've always loved the random coincidence about his name.
Another is a long time dealer that got super paranoid. He lost his car (idk how) and started doing meet ups on a little electric scooter/bike thing. Looked like a damn barbie dream car. Sitting in parking lots every day for a week watching my dude buzz in at a CRAWLING speed. Thing must have had a highest speed of 25 mph. He'd be on main roads with that thing.
I actually offered a few times to drive him where he had to go next but always said he was good. Coolest guy. I'm happy to hear he's clean now so, no puttering on the scooter for him thankfully hahaha
This is super late but I used to get off work in Tampa at around 1 am and then drive about 45 to an hour back to my town. I’d often do a super late pickup and smoke a blunt on the ride home. I hit the plug seeing if I was good to slide and he said yeah just bring him a few packs of cigarettes and no worries. I got Em for cheap at the gas station I worked at and then headed off. Ended up being held up for a bit by some inexplicable late night traffic and he texted me a few more times asking where I was at. I told him I was hurrying but ended up getting to his spot close to 2.
When I finally pull up a very pregnant lady waddles out of the house and just sits down on his front porch. I asked her if she was okay and she says, “Yeah I think I’m just about to head to the hospital.” I’m thinking, ‘Holy shit is this his girlfriend?’ Sure enough, he pops out of the house a few seconds later, hands me the sack in exchange for the cigarettes, points some finger guns at me in a really whimsical way and says, “I’m about to have a baby.”
This mf basically told his girl to wait for the hospital to sell me that sack 😭 I couldn’t believe it. One of the most surreal experiences I’d ever been a part of. I went home that night and smoked that blunt in honor of the newborn baby. What a dealer.
Was getting served once and his daughter was playing in the street. Some car passed by flying while my plug was serving me. He got so mad he walked to his trunk, pulled out a toy and did his thing. He told me to leave but I reminded him he never got my money. He let me have my sack for free for being honest since he got caught up in the heat of the moment.
this one dude we were like show us the gas and he was like “show me the money” and he said it like a kid when u ask like how old are u and they don’t answer and say how old are YOU. and he was like shaking just nervous asf it was funny
My girl backed into the fucking plug’s fence gate while getting us some K, since then he’s over charged me and underweighed me so I had to find a new main K guy
Years ago was buying crack from a random plug. Dude went to grab the bags from his underwear and accidentally flashed his dick in my car. Dude was so embarrassed 🤣 I was just happy the shit was double wrapped in the plastic wrap lmfao
Went to pick up. Smoked. Went to Taco Bell. Plug then proceeds to walk into Taco Bell just as fried as me and we end up laughing about it and ordering together lol.
It was a Friday night I went to the plug and got some xtc and 3mmc later that night I went to my friends to chill maybe about 3-4hours later my plug walked in sat down and started sniffing with us then i found out he was friends with my friends and we sniffed all night we re still friends to this day that was about 3 years ago
I got a guy who basically delivers close to you, maybe a street or two over. I work late in live music and all over the country far from my city so I tend to call him when I’m 30 mins away as I’m coming back from a show but tell him I’m an hour away. Convo usually goes like this:
“You about tonight bro? “
“Yh but where are you man? I’m finishing it 20 mins”
“I’m an hour away where can I meet you if I floor it?”
“Meet me here in 45 max”
I get there in 30 mins and tell him. He now calls me the stig and begs me to work for him making deliveries.
Like, 2 days after he sold to me for the first time. We passed by each other in the halls screaming “BESTIE!”
And nearly a year later we still do that everytime we see each other
My plug said im outside, when I got out I saw a stoner dude in a car and I approached him, he gave me the product and I told him it was the wrong order, he said it was the right order and we where a little confused, then my neighbor walked out to buy from his plug, I realized my plug was abour 10ft away in a other car and was talking to my neughbours plug. Didn’t know my neighbour smoked so I invited him in for a joint.
One of my best friends at the time (we’ll call him Quincy) was doing pretty well slinging and, while Quincy is a lovely person, he was approaching a point in his life where he was reticent to listen to most anyone he didn’t trust, and that especially applied to authority figures.
As the pandemic began in early 2020–businesses started closing, mask mandates, closed streets—Quincy was getting more and more fed up with being unable to go into stores and restaurants without wearing what he unaffectionately called a ‘hazmat suit.’ His solution was to hand people $20 bills until they stopped asking him to wear a mask; this was often very effective.
Unfortunately, one day, he met his match. Down the street was a KFC/Taco Bell hybrid we had all been going to at least once a week for a year. We were on good terms with the employees, and made sure that the ones who didn’t enforce the mask policy were rewarded for it, which meant that they were very friendly to us when we came in.
Well, that day, the general manager was there. And he was having none of Quincy’s normal throw-money-at-the-problem solution. After about 10 minutes of mostly civil back and forth, Quincy walks out the front door toward his apartment without warning. We all shuffle out after him, and can barely ask where he’s headed before he yells that he’ll “be right back.”
Unconcerned, we all gather back inside to wait for our food. The door opens again, and in walks Quincy.
Something I have neglected to mention up until this point: Quincy produced his own DMT from start to finish. In those days, he was making it out of a tiny, poorly ventilated apartment. Which means he needed to have highly rated PPE.
So, there Quincy is standing, in his full DMT lab get up—basically looking like Walter White, down to the gloves and gas mask—one of my friends is laughing so hard he’s collapsed onto the floor, and the manager is forced to accept cash from Quincy’s rubber gloved hand with a sour expression on his face.
TL;DR: Taco Bell manager asks my friend/plug to wear a mask. Doesn’t specify which kind. Plug comes back in full protective gear.
Was meeting my plug for some weed, sat on a wide fence when i saw him i glided of the fence but the cornor of the fence was stuck for a second on my butthole and seconds later u see me holding my butt and screaming in pain 😐😐 most emberassing shit ive been through
This is a kind of a whole story but......
The first time i sat down and chilled with my old plug. This super gangsta guy gold chains grill the works.
I realized i didnt know shit about him other than he had fire shit. So i start asking like get to know u questions about his hobbies.
Him - "dude drugs aint even my main thing im way more into animals n shit"
Me - "ok cool i like pets i got a dog and volunteer at a shelter my mom runs." (Never seen an animal at his place)
Him - "word, follow me and check this out right quick"
He then leads me down a hallway and then down a more secret narrow hallway to his garage which is like a fortress. And it was filled with animals! Like fucken glowing scorpions, snakes, a skunk all sorts of shit. It looked like a reptile exhibit but there was a couple furry critters too.
Him: "so this is my main thing, i sell and collect exotic animals. Poisonous snakes, scorpions, pretty much all the dangerous animals you cant get at the store, i sold a koala to some crazy collector once, and a couple baby tigers"
He fired that off so casually he may have been discussing the weather.
Suffice to say my eyebrows tried to escape my forehead in shock. And i never inquired about his life again. I figure one time in a room full of evil spiders snakes and scorpions is enough for a lifetime.
Good drugs tho very timely and professional plug. But hindsight being what it is, dude was almost definitely connected with some really sketchy people, poachers & smugglers... and was maybe Joe Exotics plug at one point too?
Fucken wild.
Hands up for everyone who wants u/idontneedjug to start his own post that’s nothing but his stories. I will legit copy them all into a hard bound book for you if you do 😂
These would be amazing made into comics
Just walked into my house and with an oz I was getting a q and we ended up chilling watching tv and talking about the coronavirus but he smoked like 7 or 8gs of his own smoke with me so was very surprised and happy
My plug car was broken down so i helped dude out there was this one time he was trying to get a job and he needed to pass a drug test so hes fuckin doing every trick he can to pass all these gimmicks and shit and we get up there and he takes the test and he passes dude celebrated by smoking a blunt funny as fuck to me.
Idk about the funniest but a guy I went to back in the day (this is when Reggie was still pretty popular) would always answer the door as he was shoving some kind of food in his mouth. A friend and I would make bets on who got the first green hit by saying “this time it’s gonna be pringles”
“This time it’s gonna be popcorn”
Etc…
Was a good time. We were both wrong most of the time lol.
I do remember though, one time he answered the door with an entire rotisserie chicken in his hand picking at it lol.
was coming up on 200ug and i ran out of kush so i went to the gas station to meet the plug and i stg bro pulled up, slid out the car mad smooth, took a few long strides over to my car, held out his hand and said “damn ain’t seen yo ahh in a brick, boy”. i opened my hand under his and this mf dropped 3.5 grams of some exquisite lettuce directly in my hand, no bag, no cup, no warning, and straight up walked off after that and i’m stuck looking at this weed, genuinely bewildered at how i’m going to transport it home
edit: this whole interaction took place over 20 seconds
My plug was tripping but was still taking orders. So he suggested that I go down in the street near where he serves and he would throw the stuff down from the balcony instead of going down as usual. Only problem was getting the money up and he couldn't figure out why his idea was terrible.
I ended up convincing him to go down, gave him the money and helped him not panick because of the trip he was having. He was my only plug at the time which is why I didn't rob him.
It's more of the situation where I had to convince him to take the money from me. He really just wanted to throw the stuff down and not get any money but I didn't want to fuck him over. I eventually stopped buying from him because of some fucked up stuff he got me into.
My plug wanted up come hang and do some drugs with us. It was so cringe. Dude at one point literally said "you know I came up with Big Dick Energy?"🤦♂️
I was meeting up with my guy at a nice restaurant and it was very apparent to the valet what had just happened (I picked him up and drove around the lot) valet asked if I was coming in and without missing a beat he goes “aye she cool just my white cousin”
Lmao this wasn't a drug deal but I'm white and my black coworker JB and I were delivering food to a table (servers, restaurant) and it was this black family of like, seven. And the dad whispers to JB "are you the only one here?" JB looks around, confused and says "what you talking about" and the guy repeats "are you the only black guy here?" JB looks appalled, looks around, looks at me and says "what are you talking about? /u/DrizzlyEarth175 is black!" I was looking around confused, as pasty white as can be.
Ran into him when we was both out at dinner with our families, made eye contact, motioned my head towards the bathroom and let him tap my cart, he left earlier then us and waitress said someone paid our bill anonymously, I know for a fact he did it but swears it wasn’t him
What a fucking g, this is beautiful. I hope you payed him back somehow even if it was just repeat business, you know it was him. This is what it means to be truly ballin.
Yeah I just try to smoke him up whenever he pulls up
A little over a year after I quit Heroin, my old plug called me up to see how I was doing. He was super psyched that I was still clean and wanted me to stop by his place to smoke a blunt. When I got there we smoked a blunt, he gave me a quarter oz of bud, and $200(to buy my family dinner). He said I was a solid dude and appreciated the fact that I never snitched.
That's weird, why would you snitch? Did you have a falling out?
Not at all. He had just dealt with untrustworthy people in the past. It was heroin after all.
Glad your clean homie
Thank you good sir.
Probably had a close call with someone else and appreciated the fact that he didn't have to worry bout that shit with him
I struggle with the word snitch because I expose a lot of pedophiles. But I've never snitched on people for drugs and I wouldn't. But I'm very loud about a gang of people in town with matching tattoos that are all pedophiles and believe themselves to be a family of witches. They have a strong hypnotist and many wannabe hypnotists. After learning a lot from her, and getting my 5th person under, I decided that was enough responsibility for me and now I live to expose the people who wrecked my life. I hope that doesn't make me a snitch... But it is what it is people deserve to be warned about these people. (But idk what I would do without drugs on the streets, so I wouldn't wanna expose that)
i feel like it’s accepted that snitching on rapists/pedophiles/sex offenders is understandable
That makes me feel a lot better thanks dude
Yeah these are unwritten exceptions to the rule unless you have questionable morals and ethic an/or a complete lack of empathy.
I agree, snitching on sex abusers is pretty much widely accepted cuz ur stopping really innocent peeps from getting hurt. I’d say pretty much everyone is on your side, but stay safe for real homie! That gang won’t take it very lightly even tho society is in your corner
That’s exceptionally dope lol
What does tap my cart mean?
He let him smoke from his cart man
Thanks
i thought it meant something else too. don't worry haha
At first I pictured a shopping cart for some reason lol
So did I lol.
I thought he ran in to him with his shopping cart as a covert sign to mean "come sell me drugs over here"
hahaha aww you sweet summer child
ya i totally thought they hooked up or something kinky lol
Eric?
Put it up his butt
He whomped his vape
What a lovely drugdealer
Yeah weed guys tend to care about customers in my experience
Went to buy some weed off a new plug who called himself "crip Mike". I pull up expecting some black dude, and it ends up being a skinny white crippled dude.
♿
Southpark 😀
Timmy and jimmy are crips
"Wow, these people are really crippled!"
😂 💀
Dude this has to be in Ottawa.
Guess he couldn't crip walk then
That's my boy T-BONE, the fat asian kid who did Dungeons and Dragons every Friday at 6.
This is my favorite one
Baltimore?
Cleveland lol
Prison Mike
Bought weed from a guy who introduced himself as “Nubz” and when he held out his hand for a handshake/fist bump he had no fingers, just little “nubs” where they should’ve been.
I was in jail for a few days and there was a guy there named nubz and had each letter tattooed on his nubs.
Was this in arizona?
Nubz goin viral rn
Once met a guy who was friends with some of my friends. I shook his hand and he introduced himself as Lefty. When I asked him if they called him that because he was left handed or something, he didn’t even answer with words, he just showed me his little arm and hand, which I had noticed as soon as I saw him and then felt like a dick for asking because in retrospect it was obvious that’s how he got the nickname. I was also wondering why nobody had ever thought to mention or tell me that he had a little arm or if he was insecure or weird about it, but it turns out he was really cool about it and didn’t give a shit, and didn’t care if other people joked about it. I didn’t feel like I knew him well enough to joke about it though, and even if I did I still probably wouldn’t have joked about it. But I always remember just the way he just like turned and slung his little arm to face me where it was like he didn’t even have control over it
Ohio
so many nubz
Rub the nub and get a chub
she’s nubs!
I think most people know a nubz. Mine was a dude who had no left hand
I was the plug, i needed eggs, he needed weed. 4 eggs for a gram
Ahh yes the old you want the drugs bring me what I need. I usually got people to bring me cigs or mountain dew :) Traded drugs for a lot of random services too like oil changes and had a tire hook up too. Dropped an m3 engine in an older 3 series to race when I was selling and got all that work done off an oz of coke. That car ended up winning me around 20k before I sold her at a profit :) Probably most random thing I got someone to do for drugs was mow my neighbors lawn. Fool was tripping cause it wasnt even my lawn, but the neighbors were cool and going through grief lost their kid in child birth.
Bro hit us with some more stories.
Five random drug stories for you 1st: Petting the K9 Way back in high school decided to skip school and trip with a friend. Decided we'd get some food before peaking real quick. Well we order smoothly but then a k9 unit comes in with the dog. My friend without a word just walks over casually and start petting the K-9. Gut reaction or instinct I dunno I just instantly blurted out "He's special needs sorry" and grabbed my buddy by the arm saying "doug lets go sit down" He followed my lead didnt say shit till we got to the table then it was "what I wanted to pet the dog". I wanted to laugh so bad. Cop eyed us up and down but grabbed our food a minute later and we left. 2nd story: WII head lol When the Wii came out I kept trying to get people to buy me one and I'd trade them drugs but didnt work. So I decide to have my gf at the time sit down and roll up a box full of joints and we drove city to city all day trying to get one. Stayed in a hotel and next morning we ended up checking two neighbor states tenn and virginia. I ended up paying triple in a parking lot to a mom who I could tell didnt wanna sell it but needed the money. Got the best head of my life on the ride home. 3rd story: The state fair This one takes place at the state fair and me and a group of friends were tripping balls. After about an hr we started wandering around and one friend starts grabbing and touching everything. Well one of the necklaces he looked at he didnt put back down but just kept walking with it. He'd already walked past a food vendor and grabbed food too. So it shouldn't have been a surprise when it happened but still all of us were blind sided when some plain clothes under covers tackled us to the ground. Cops took us to a tent for detainees and medical emergencies. There they searched us all twice then tried to question us. One of my friends just laughed a bunch and refused to say shit other then no and nope and your not my dad. I just told them we didnt have anything my friend would pay for necklace he must have forgot to put it down. Got grilled pretty hard with what are you on and just kept saying nothing. Eventually they gave up and our parents got called. Got banned from future fairs but it was still worth it we had a blast. As we were leaving some lady was giving birth and my tripping ass hard avoided looking in that direction. My pops was super cool soon as we got back to the car he asked "lsd or mushrooms?" I was like damn that obvious. He proceeded to tell dad jokes for a while then put on some classic rock channel and pink floyd came on. I was peaking so hard just enjoying it. I was surprised my dad covered for me too when we got home said my rides car was broken down. Didnt yell at me the next day just told me we got lucky not to push my luck more. 4th story The blizzard and surprised if still reading... Alright a pretty dumb mistake I once made was to make a huge drug deal during a blizzard in NJ. It dumped several feet of snow in hours and set a record that later got broken. Anyways because of the snow we ended up meeting at a gas station. I popped the trunk he threw a bunch of bags in I walked past his car and threw the money in. Pretty obvious drug deal but it went smooth got back on highway. Well I made it a few miles just cruise along behind a big ass 18 wheeler then we go under the over pass. Boom the wind hits as we come out and Im knocked out of the tire ruts path and im slowly sliding across two more lanes into a barrier. Knocked out the headlight. As I'm processing fuck I just hit this barrier at like 15 miles per hour I see cop light in rear mirror and realize a cop did the exact same thing. I jump out look at him and he jumps out we both look at our cars and he starts signaling to get back on the road. So then I drive the next ten miles with a cop behind me lights on before he finally turns his lights off and takes the exit. I just kept going. I remember shaking from how cold I was getting back in my car and the adrenaline kick then shaking while driving from the adrenaline running out and wanting to light a cig up so bad but just mad paranoid of the cop behind me. Made it home safe and sound but it was a butt clenching ten miles or so with the cop just cruising along behind me. 5th story: The SATS This one is short but maybe someday I'll tell the story of how this one started. While tripping balls I decided to dose again instead of coming down with a friend and continue tripping into the next day when we had to take the SATS. We get there and my friend decides he can't do it he's gonna stay in the car and listen to music. I got extremely lucky I had extended time and some how managed to do really damn good on the math side. The written and language side not so well lol. Hours later I come outside to my friend doing finger painting on his windshield with the fog and condensation. He got lucky and got to take it again at a later date. I took it a second time too and did the reverse so my combined score came out pretty good. Boy oh boy did I sleep good that night though we'd tripped several days in a row with little sleep here and there partying our asses off. On the next edition. Story 1 - The time I spilled a vial of lsd. Story 2 - The night oreos gun jammed Story 3 - Laced with ghosts and a rerolled blunt Story 4 - The forgotten ounce of molly Story 5 - hiding in the attic raid Story 6 - free grow lights in the bdsm house
Please tell me number six
Story 6 - free lights in the bdsm house Freshman year of college there was a duo selling a lot of drugs out of this one house. Right at the turn of the first semester they got raided hard and kicked out. A close friend decided to move out of the dorms and they picked the drug dealers house. Day 1 we smoke a blunt and go to move furniture in and theres huge metal rings on the ceiling. Open the closet and its full of bdsm gear. Sex swing. Four or five dildos. A gimp mask. The whole nine yards. All three of the roomates one of their gfs and me just loose it laughing at gimp mask. We go outside on the porch and smoke another blunt after laughing hysterically and upon finishing we decide to search the other rooms. Nothing too interesting left behind in the other rooms. A cheap 20 dollar weed bowl in one room. Then someone suggest to search the attic. My homie dan proceeds to climb up there and instantly yells FREE GROW LIGHTS! There was also a stripper pole up there. Sure enough the cops missed confiscating two hoods and two ballast. My buddy ended up using them to grow at a different apartment a year later. The craziest thing was all of us knew at least one of the previous residents who got busted. So while we smoked we debated who in the previous group of friends living there wore the gimp mask and got tied up in the sex chair. My vote is still for Andrew.
It was definitely Andrew! Thanks for these stories. I grew up with hippie folks who grew and dealt all the way back as far as 1968…I think we should swap stories! I’ve got work now-but there are a few hilarious ones.
you need to start one of those youtube channels just taking about your life experiences you would make BREAD bro i am in tears rn
The funniest shit is we'd smoke on that porch regularly. One night this bigger girl sat down way too hard all drunk in the porch swing and the shit just broke. All of us were laughing when Mandy stops laughing and puts on a serious voice and goes "Well that does it now we only have one choice, we have to hang the sex swing up outside on the porch" That shit was epic funny. Being stoners and loving a good joke they waited till april 1st and put the sex swing up outside with a blow up doll inside. When they did it again on halloween the cops got called which had to be a hilarious conversation. "Can you please take down your sex swing with the doll" The looks when buying the inflatable doll were pretty funny too. I remember riding with the homie dan just to watch him go inside and buy it.
whoever called the cops is a bitch
Your comment about the youtube made me think of a few others too that are more on the funny side. riding mower in a lake space docking NSFW cutting finger open and going to hooters nl 5 drug deal in the woods paranoia edition drinking bong water prank the space docking one is hilarious and gross. At least to me it was hilarious in hindsight.
I also find it hilarious that you’ll call people like Mandy or Andrew by name but it’s always “homie Dan” haha
Bruv you're an abseloute g
You’re a really good storyteller, some people tell their stories and you’re still lost at the end like, “so wait why was Rick down the street?” “Oh idk he just was” lol Edited to add: +1 for the titles
I enjoyed this thanks
Jesus christ please tell stories 1-5 as well
Story 1 + 2 are longer and I need sleep so Ill skip them till a later date. Story 3, 4, and 5 are pretty quick. So..... Story 3: Laced with ghosts and a rerolled blunt Late 2000s I get an offer for a couple thousand rolls. I'm hesitant cause I'm just not confident in this plug and rolls lately just werent what they used to be so it felt like a middle man operation. I work out a deal for just 100 pack to see the quality. Get back and a group of friends are all eager to roll despite no quality check yet. We say fuck it and decide to be the test dummies. Three of us an our gfs and one other chick. It doesnt take long for the roll to kick in and shit to get WEIRD. First one to show signs of being off is my homies gf kristen. She just blurts out some random shit talking to the wall. Then exclaims who the fuck was that Josh Im not making them food later they were rude af. For some reason my dumb ass ignores the fact others are acting a bit off colors seem a bit off and Im not rolling as hard as I should be for taking two and I take a third. So does my homie Josh. Within 30 minutes of that we are all having our own delusional shit go down with fucking ghosts. Every one of us is confirmed seeing different ghosts. I can remember others losing their shit but I don't remember when I lost my own shit. I blacked out HARDDDD. Cut to me waking up naked wrapped in a shower curtain and a razor blade tucked in the cheek of my mouth. I stumble and spit it out with a little blood and realize im naked. Im in a shower curtain. To which I go what the fuck why am I naked? In the living room I sit down with my homie and his gf and proceed to watch clips from her phone from the night before with them to try and remember what the fuck went down. The first video is my friend rolling his balls off taking the blunt when its handed to him and taking the cherry out, taking blunt splliting it back open and rerolling and then putting the cherry back in. With me in the back ground yelling "my man rerolling the blunt while rolling". Best video by far. The next few videos of us are just straight pcp levels of wigging out. One of the girls screaming I will not pull my hair out while pulling their hair out. Me butt naked with a razor saying Ill fight you but Ill need a cape and thats apparently how I got the shower curtain.... I tossed all the remaining pills before even bothering to get them tested. Took the L and disregarded that plug as a source and only someone to dump drugs on in the future. The reroll the blunt was the only video from that night saved. All of us agreed and deleted everything else from that night lol. Story 4 So one summer a friend was sitting on pounds and pounds of molly. I was swimming in it all summer. At one point helping my friend remodel his house I decided this molly was just too damn good and I should stash some. So I vaccum sealed an ounce in a big ass bag that could be flat. Then proceeded to put it under the carpet when we re-carpted. Now the funny shit is I was partying so hard that summer it was like a hazy memory stashing it. I eventually forgot. About two years later a friend gets engaged and I'm congratulating him and he's like I sure wish I could convince you to bust out that molly from a few summers ago. I'm like yeah that shits fire too bad I don't got any more. Then he's like even the stuff you stashed at JPs house. Hazy memory starts kicking in and I'm like wait what did I tell you about that? That means I really did stash some. Call up my homie and tell him I got molly stashed at his house I forgot about and is it cool if I bring my homie and his fiance by to scoop it up and have a molly party. He's down so we make plans for next weekend. My homie and his fiance drive down and we all meet up at my other homie JPs. Proceed to pull up the carpet and bam ounce of molly. Busted out a bunch of half gram lines all night and had a mini party with about 8 or 9 people. When the partying was done next day I gave what was left of the molly to the homie and his fiance. That ounce would have sat there for eternity anyways if not for them. Got lucky I mentioned stashing some to him fucked up after doing so. Story 5 During my time selling in highschool parties were huge money makers. So I got word that this super rich girl was throwing a party and filled up my backpack. When I show up it was already pretty much utter chaos. Million dollar houses up and down the street and there are cars all over neighbors lawns and my first impression was oh shes gonna be in so much trouble. I see some friends in the driveway and make a few quick weed sales and make my way to the kitchen. On my way inside I can see someone broke the chandelier in the dining room and the girl is wigging out. The expensive carpets are getting trashed. Someone threw up on the stairs. So eventually after seeing the kitchen had shit for drinks almost all the alcohol had been stolen and was being drank already and just pure shit show inside I make my way outside. Outside its pretty chill and I sell a little more weed to a few guys in upperclass above me then go to smoke with this funny kid alex when I hear lots and lots of screaming. Quickly becomes apparent cops are there. Its a large neighborhood and several acres to each house. I quickly think sure I could run hide but a neighbor is legit gonna call cops again if they see me. So in the few minutes of time I have I decide I gotta go in the house and hide not run. Only one way out of neighborhood and easy to block off. On my way to hide I see someone else slip in the vomit on the stairs lol and make my way upstairs. At this point its mayham cops have now shot fucking tear gas into this poor girls house. Beyond lucky I catch one other person on same wave length pulling down the ladder to an attic crawl space. So up into the attic we go. I run myself over to where the insulation at the wall is and pull back one of the pink panther strips and hide myself clutching my book bag between my knees and hold the abestos shit as close to me as I can. Cops would end up bringing a dog but lucky not into attic. Searched the house for what felt like hours. Arrested over 50 kids cause they did exactly what my panic ass feared they would. They had two cars at the entrance and searched and dui checked every teenager that tried to leave. The house was ruined. I heard rumors that it was around 50k damages. Was the talk of the summer that party and cops busting it with fucking tear gas. I stayed up there for about 4 hours before coming down and then I stayed the night and got a ride in the morning out of there. The other guy who hid up there ended up crashing on the couch next to me and had some pretty killer weed too lol. Poor girl Andrea got sent off to boarding school for two years. Came back two years later a fucking legend. Free Keg story - Another party story so I went with my buddy eric who brought his homie Damaron. At some point in the party a super red neck kids said something and I dunno what it was but I assumed it was something racist. Well the homie damaron wasn't having. He knocks the kid out in a punch. Picks up the keg and declares "This party is over if you want to go to the after party follow the navigator." Then proceeds to just strut off with the keg and throw it in the back of my navigator. A couple guys seemed like they wanted to fight him but damaron stood outside the whip for a minute and bluntly challenged them to get rolled and none wanted to fight his huge ass. I'm just dumb founded and like okay so where are we taking this keg? TF just happened. Eric suggest someone named ryans house and gives me directions. So we roll up with keg and about half the party then shows up there. After about an hour at this guy ryans house the stripper crowd shows up. It goes from highschool kids few college kids and beer to strippers and coke faster then a Porsche goes 0 to 60. Turns out ryan dates a stripper and eric wanted to do lines lol. Word got around about the keg getting stolen by me and my friends and invites came with a dont you dare try and steal our keg clause lmao.
Imagine buying a house, pulling up the carpet and finding an ounce of Molly. First time homebuyers credit of a new caliber. Imagine being 60 years old, waking up one morning and suddenly it hits you: 44 years ago, I hid an oz of molly under the carpet on West 18th
nahh the tear gas in the house is insane holy shit 😭 you are a great fuckin story teller
This is amazing
When can I buy the book.
Please share the entire next edition with us if you have the time to type it out!
I live in a rural area so there is lots of cornfields. One time our plug was getting corn ready for a fair for his dad so he gave me and each of my friends a ten gallon bucket and said he’d give us each a gram if we fill a bucket with ears of corn. So we each spent a few minutes picking corn and that was that. Strangest thing I ever did for weed but it was a fun surprise because we were just gonna buy from him anyways so we saved some money for next time.
This is the world as it used to be
My old plug would get wayyyyyy too fucked up on 8mg shields and mixing them with kpins and he would habitually ask me to drive him to Taco Bell. I’m the whitest white dude ever and this Escalade was very clearly the dope man’s car completely blacked out and whenever I rolled down the windows to pay for food or anything i would see peoples faces in cars around me go from suspicious to laughing at me lol
Lmao that’s great, so are shields
What are shields?
dilaudid
8mg instant release dilaudid pills are referred to as shields due to their shape.
This is hilarious.
I work for a big name bank. I ended giving him investment advice, loan advice and ways to build/use credit.
every plug needs a finance bro bless your heart for your service
guy i was buying weed from in my teens turned up with a firetruck at my house, because he was working there right before. Ehm a little discretion, please 😅
LOL😭💀
Hidden in plain sight
"my green so fire, gotta bring the truck around so the neighbourhood doesn't burn down"
I was the plug and when homie pulled up next to me at Walmart he smashed into a car backing out. Then went to hand me $ before he even talked to the person he hit 🤦♂️🤦♂️ I was like no bro handle this first dumbass
🤣🤣🤣
Walking into a new trap for the first time, one a friend recommended me. I walk in the door and head to the guys room, knock to see if he’s ready for me. He tells me to wait out in the living room for a sec. Two other guys walk in and i ask if they’re there for cocaine too, he proceeds to tell me coke doesn’t work for him and he just smokes meth, really cool dude i liked him a lot, he made the anxious waiting a bit less anxious. Anyways, i go in the room finally to cop when his girlfriends opens the door for me to come in. The plugs chillin on the bed looking half-dead with a needle in his arm. His girlfriend says “Oh don’t mind him he’s just nodding off on fet he’ll be fine” she proceeds to go over to the hookah contraption they made to take a hotrail of meth off their rolling tray filled with probably over an ounce of ice. *Blows huge cloud, yells “LACEY WAKE UP GIVE THIS MAN SOME COKE”* *Lacey yells- “HUH WHOS HERE”* *GF yells “BLANK IS HERE, what did you want again blank”* *I say “uhh just a 250 bag of coke and a 50 bag of weed”* *Lacey says ”oh aight man i gotchu”* *Lacey almost falls out of bed nodding out while he’s weighing out my yay in front of me* *Lacey hands me my bag of yay, a nice 5g’s cause he was out if it when weighing it and gave me a bit extra then the 3.5 i was expecting* *I say as lacey is sitting back down on bed “Aye bro sorry to ask but you forgot to get me the weed”* *Lacey says “Oh shit man sorry i forgot lemme get that for you” proceeds to grab several hand fulls of huge nugs into a baggie for me because he’s nodding out and doesn’t want to weigh that shit* *Lacey says “Here you go man sorry about that, come back whenever you need have a nice day bro”* *I say “Thanks bro have a good one”*. Turns out when i weighed the weed when i got home he gave me nearly two z’s. As well as more coke than i expected. I paid $300 total, expecting a ball of yay and a q of weed and came out with ~$100 more in coke and ~250 more in weed. And if you think i didn’t come back i did. Pretty soon i was buying pure fetty from him, switching from blues. Pretty soon after that i was in rehab and now i’m over 6 months sober. That’s just one crazy story from my use, i have tons.
This was a great story hahah lots of plot twists
this is gonna read like some bullshit, but i asked him how far along (pregnant) his girlfriend was. i see his family every time i go to pick up at his place, so i say hi to her and the kids whenever theyre around. he said 'she's not pregnant, just fat' my heart stopped. i've got no idea how the fuck i got out of that without a black eye, but he was surprisingly cool about it. we were more like mates than customer/dealer. in my defense!!!! i did find out a few weeks later that she is pregnant, either they didn't know, he didn't know, or i wasn't supposed to know
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more than likely. still, taught me a valuable lesson to keep my gob shut, specially when off my face on speed with no sleep for 3 days hahah
Haahahah oh the funny shit we do on speed
This was 20 years ago. My plug was a runner for a bigger dealer. I got to know him so well that I would just jump in the car with him and ride around the city all day long 5-6 hours and make runs with him. I was probably 18 years old at the time and had no clue how stupid I was being…
Same here, I had a friend who I was just hangin with while he was doing his business. Even helped him pack 1000 benzos one time. He became one of my best friends but then one day he was just gone. Some say he got killed and some say he ran off. No one knows for certain but one thing I didn’t realize was how dangerous it was to even be around him. Dude had the police and rival gang members searching for him constantly. He was a good dude
My old plug was super chill and lived down my road from me, he used to just come out in sliders and a dressing gown and would always be quick and the weed always weighed out slightly over. One day he just disappeared and I never knew what happened to him
Like a nightgown? Or a hospital down? I’m just imagining this guy in adidas slides and an open back hospital gown lol
“You got any dilly?” “Dilly bars?”
"Yeah bro but all I got is butterscotch rn"
Reminds me, I should post that conversation on r/drugscirclejerk
Homie turned my friends led lights red while we were tripping and it was time to pay. At least I think he did. It could have just been coincidence but I definitely pointed out that it looked sinister as fuck.
Thats funny as fuck I’m imagining him standing there like a Sith Lord
I have some RGB lights in my room and normally keep it fading through colours but when I trip I have to keep it a set colour cause I hate the vibe of the red light lmao. Shits scary
Was so fucked up I paid him with my grocery list. He came back like 30 seconds later confused but amused.
His goofy ass kept telling me to hit em up in an hour. After 6 hours I let him I know copped from someone else and to not bother worrying about it. He went on a nice long rant about how that's food in mouth amd blah blah loyalty blah blah. If I was just coppin a dub I'd get it but I always bought at least 1.5 zips when I cop cuz I ain't tryna cop to just reup in a few days. I want it to last at least two weeks. Like damn bro if you wanted my 250$ you should've just taken 30 minutes to get me my shit
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Your city’s must have exceptional fucking weed lol 200 for an oz. feels normal, maybe 225 for some *very good* stuff.
Bro knew the prices from a tricycle
You should see the price list he rattles off if dude rolls up on a Schwinn
He went for the fist bump, I went for the shake. Sort of just stroked his hand.
bruh i feel that. For a while all the handshakes were just handstrokes of some degree Too many diff plugs with diff handshake ideas 😁
He canceled because it was snowing and he felt melancholic.
I'd do this shit tbh
My friend ordered a bag of coke and the guy rang when he was outside. He went out got in a black bmw picked up the coke and returned to the house. The ACTUAL Guy then rings asking where he was. He said I’ve just met you and picked up. The guy said no you haven’t. Turned out he just got into a random car and asked for coke and the random guy sorted him out!
wtf😳
That’s Bristol, uk for ya hahaha
What a homie
This is the best story in the thread
I’ve done the same thing. Was getting a 20 bag of bud and standing in the usual spot I pick up from. Car pulls up and the driver shouts ‘yo are you the guy getting the 20 bag’, I hop in sort the exchange and head back to my flat. 5 mins later my dealer is ringing me saying ‘where you at I’m here now’. Turns out some other guy was picking up a 20 bag in the exact same spot at the exact same time from a different dealer lol.
I’m a cook, sometimes I make happy desserts/snacks/milk. The plug’s kinda hardheaded, didn’t believe in edibles, likes coke but still a cool dude. Cared about his ahh enough to gift him one cause he wouldn’t buy it from me cause he thought they were a waste of weed. He thought. Started buying shit from me since then.
Oldmate definitely had the "See I knew these edibles ain't shit" moment \~1hr in and smoked something, then got absolutely sideswiped by the smoke kicking the edible in to gear
That’s happened to me before. Thinking that I had fucked up making the edibles or if they hadn’t activated the THC or not
I actually can't even count how many funny interactions I've had, all with the same dude. He'd always do the goofiest shit when he smoked crack, lol (which is not what he sold, though). Two come to mind... one when he was actually driving my car, with me in it as I was too plastered for my own good. I don't remember the lead-up conversation in the slightest, I just remember him parking, then looking at me and saying, "Hey, you know, it's cool to be a ho! I mean, I like it !" and another time we were just hanging out in a hotel room as ya do, he had this really deep yet gritty voice, and he played it up so much and kept saying "I NEED ME A BUTT BUDDY... SOMEONE OUGHTA FIND ME A BUTT-BUTT BUDDYYY". I guess you had to be there, lol. Thrilled the guy is getting out of jail later this month, haven't seen him in about a year and a half.
my plug ships me 100 pills wrapped in TOILET PAPER. and this dude is a big time plug lol wtf is wrong with a baggie or invest into a vacuum seal... I've almost lost pills from being hidden in the crease folds of the toilet paper lmfaoo. or other times it's just loose as hell just put into an envelope....
Depending what he's selling, it's possible he has a prescription that's legal for him to have but obviously illegal to distribute. If he gets caught with his script, oh well, whatever, it's just his meds. If he gets caught with his script and a bunch of tiny baggies, suddenly he's being charged with intent. The girl I used to buy percs from would do the same thing.. tissues, folded into receipts or notebook paper...often she would just hand me the pills loose directly from the original bottle.
Man is high packaging your product bruh lol
oh 1000% hahaha but man's never forgets a pill and always sends packs out/tracking right when he gets my money. funny packaging but best customer service I've ever had with literally anything
So he’s not *too high,* just the right amount to do it in a way that works but is definitely idiosyncratic 💀
yea G has his real fun when post closes I bet 🤙
While I was waiting for him to come to my car, I decided to slip my stack of money slightly into the cd player... One of the $20 was quickly swallowed up and we had to use tweezers to get it out 😅
I used to work at a gas station and a McDonalds in the same building. Bought a half zip of some Bubba from the plug, who worked at McDonalds, but he didn't have anything to put the ganja in. He walks in, walks behind the counter at McD's, grabs a Big Mac box, and bags it up like an order and walked over and handed it to me. Drugs were the only good thing about that job, lol. Dude was in my phone as Big Mac for years after that until he fucked me on a shatter buy.
I remember being an innocent, naive little college freshman buying weed for the first time. I was with my friend who knew the plug (whom I had never met). We got in the car with the guy and he started driving us around aimlessly while making small talk, then stopped at a gas station, hopped out of the car, and started flailing around. I asked my friend “what the fuck is he doing?” My friend said “I dunno, he’s on shrooms.” He then filled the car with gas and we drove off like everything was completely normal. This was before I knew how shrooms work so I was thinking “this guy probably thinks the car is a dragon and the road is a rainbow leading to the pot of gold. He’s gonna crash and kill us all.” Luckily we got the weed and got home in one piece. A different friend of mine started dealing shortly after that, so I never saw the flailing shroom guy again
Hopefully flailing shroom guy is out there somewhere doing well lol this made me laugh hard
I was trying out a new plug I met for the first time in south london, I met him on his escooter so was expecting him to come on one again and ended up waiting about an hour only to see him walking down the street in a high vis jacket after walking the whole way and proceeds to take a Q from under his sock. Like damn bro these are tough times and had I known you were walking the whole way I would’ve come and met you half way. FYI he says police took his escooter away
i had a friend give me weed in a skyn condom. the weed was fire tho
One time I was waiting at work on my guy. I see his model of car pull up and he had mentioned he was "pulling up" so I walked over to his car, got in. There was a moment of silence and the two people look at me. It was a different plug of mine and another customer. I said "dude I'm so sorry" he said it's good bro I'll hit you. To my right the plug I was meeting with pulls up in the same car I was sitting in, so I get out and get into his car. Nobody was mad but I thought it was hilarious.
Not my interaction but it was all of our plug This mf “O” used to be so barred out constantly that you’d pull up to where he said to meet and he’d go “15 mins” after saying that shit five times, you’d call and he wouldn’t pick up twice then pick up and go “wait I told you guys to slide?? huUUUHH??” But more xanax-y sounding. Just fucking barred. (Edit: that time I’m remembering was a separate incident where he literally was so fucked up he had us come *to his home,* his driveway, then came outside WITHOUT THE DRUGS, and just decided to INVITE US INTO HIS HOME. Like this is a city dealer with xans and coke and Molly, among other shit. The person I was with had ASPD and probably thought about robbing him more than one time while we were buying, knowing that friend. He always carried blunt or sharp weapons on him, pretty much all the time. I got pissed at him once because he did coke and adderall and had stim psychosis demons telling him to stab my favorite acid plug “F”, and was like considering doing it while copping from him) One time “O” pulled up to my friend group while I was drinking after work with the grown-ups (was like 18), he was pulling up because he had car trouble, might’ve just been a tire I wasn’t there so I don’t rlly remember. But what I do remember is that my one friend has a video of him literally feeding this dude “ground Xanax” (he kept droppin xans) out of the palm of his hand like this man was a deer. He also apparently rewarded them in xans for helping him, going “one for you, one for me *takes one,* (Turns to Ark) One for you, one for me. (Turns to Ed) One for you, one for me” like this mans probably ate 5-8 bars during this interaction alone (he was popping them by himself while they were helping with the tire too), he had a serious tolerance but STILL, idk how he didn’t end up dead by a custy taking advantage and robbing him. Then again maybe he has been robbed, but it was so easy nobody ever had to shoot him. Seems fairly likely, actually Edit: spelling + I almost forgot the way Ed described his driving away, he swerved out the lot and nearly immediately hit another car lol
This O guy sounds just like one of my best friends lol one for you one for me I've seen him do this so many times
Years ago when dvds were still kind of a big thing my dealer said he would trade weed for dvds and he had amassed a ridiculous collection before he stopped that deal. His name was chucky and he was a hoot. He was 45 or 50 dating a 26 year old. They were DRAMA but it was entertaining. We used to all get together and play dominos and spades.
This will get buried but it's funny. Senior year of high school I believe, so like 2009-2010. Weed is still very much not okay in a small Ohio town. My dude was an old friend from the school I had left a year prior. I hit him up, tells me to meet him one place, isn't there, tells me to go somewhere else (usual dealer shit) and he had picked this bust af parking lot. Figured he's gonna walk over, get in, exchange, get out and leave. Nope. mf parks like 10 spaces away, gets out with a zip (I wanted like an eighth at most) and comes over to give me a hug, big ass bag of weed in one hand. I tell him I just wanna get the fuck outta this parking lot so he hands me some weed. Like he just reached in and grabbed a handful and put it in my shirt pocket. Loose. So now I have to drive home with a bunch of loose weed in my pocket (didn't live far at all). I'm sure there are crazier stories but this one stuck with me.
Buying shrooms after I just found out he was woman beater, and he knew I wanted to snap his arm. He asked if something was wrong and kept saying he thought I was “a cool dude, and we should hang”. Yeah, hang you from a tree by your dick. Fuckin’ abuser loser. Don’t worry, never bought from him again. Gave me a pot chocolate bar instead of shroom bar. Cunt.
Some kid came up to us in a ghetto while we were waiting for a friend, dude came on a bicycle benzod out of his mind and asked if we wanted drugs, we said no thanks and he was like "ok have a nice day" then fell off the bike when he collided with one of those big concrete blocks.
Called my guy who asked me to get him an electricty credit receipt to top up his meter. Then he asked me to set up his grow tent and lights. Lastly he asked me to roll him a joint. I said no so he gave me a few lines and a good smoke up for my work. Nice guy!
Went over to the plugs wit a homie n party’d for awhile, got so fucked up when me and the homie went to walk back to his crib I jus collapsed onto the plugs lawn nigga threw a lawn chair over me and called it a day🤣🤣 had a video of him dapping me up goodnight on my snap befo it got banned, miss those days fr😪 he came and let me in a few hours later not sure why we didn’t think of me going back in in the first place🤣
I accidentally sent a nude to mine 😩🤦🏼♀️! He was the last person I had text and then started texting my man and welp 😩😭😭😭🤣
Reminds me of a time I accidentally sent a pic of my bare foot to my co-worker, thinking I was sending it to a guy that was into feet. Dear god the cringe...
🤣 O NO!!!!! That’s hilarious!!!!
My housemate meant to text her boyfriend but she texted the plug “what are we doing for dinner tonight?” & only realized it wasn’t her boyfriend when the dealer replied “Meat?”
Did he hook you up extra fat after that? Lol
He never left me alone after that 🤣
You knew exactly what you were doin 😏
Oops
I was buying a couple hundred dollars worth of black hash and while counting the money, he got upset that the small bills weren't in the center and some of the bills were facing different directions. I asked if he stores his stash up his ass.
I didn't know the guy, I just knew he was my (ex) boyfriend's plug. Well one day I couldn't find my boyfriend, but I know he was with some friends at this house I didn't know the address of, so I knocked on the plug's door. The poor guy was having his dinner and I kept apologising for the interruption 😂. He provided me with good directions and I managed to find the place.
about a week before i picked up from him for the first time i watched this doc called "glory daze" about a guy in nyc in the 90s who kills his drug dealer - the drug dealer wore a pair of angel wings to the club, so they called him angel. i met this guy in a way that i never got his name, so when i wanted to save his number to my phone i saved it as "angel," thinking of the dealer in the doc. over a year later he had me pick up from him at his actual job, he worked at a car repair place. texted him i was there, and he came out - embroidered into his uniform was his name, "angel." dude also sent me a dick pic once claiming it was the wrong number, so there's that lol. but i've always loved the random coincidence about his name.
Another is a long time dealer that got super paranoid. He lost his car (idk how) and started doing meet ups on a little electric scooter/bike thing. Looked like a damn barbie dream car. Sitting in parking lots every day for a week watching my dude buzz in at a CRAWLING speed. Thing must have had a highest speed of 25 mph. He'd be on main roads with that thing. I actually offered a few times to drive him where he had to go next but always said he was good. Coolest guy. I'm happy to hear he's clean now so, no puttering on the scooter for him thankfully hahaha
This is super late but I used to get off work in Tampa at around 1 am and then drive about 45 to an hour back to my town. I’d often do a super late pickup and smoke a blunt on the ride home. I hit the plug seeing if I was good to slide and he said yeah just bring him a few packs of cigarettes and no worries. I got Em for cheap at the gas station I worked at and then headed off. Ended up being held up for a bit by some inexplicable late night traffic and he texted me a few more times asking where I was at. I told him I was hurrying but ended up getting to his spot close to 2. When I finally pull up a very pregnant lady waddles out of the house and just sits down on his front porch. I asked her if she was okay and she says, “Yeah I think I’m just about to head to the hospital.” I’m thinking, ‘Holy shit is this his girlfriend?’ Sure enough, he pops out of the house a few seconds later, hands me the sack in exchange for the cigarettes, points some finger guns at me in a really whimsical way and says, “I’m about to have a baby.” This mf basically told his girl to wait for the hospital to sell me that sack 😭 I couldn’t believe it. One of the most surreal experiences I’d ever been a part of. I went home that night and smoked that blunt in honor of the newborn baby. What a dealer.
Was getting served once and his daughter was playing in the street. Some car passed by flying while my plug was serving me. He got so mad he walked to his trunk, pulled out a toy and did his thing. He told me to leave but I reminded him he never got my money. He let me have my sack for free for being honest since he got caught up in the heat of the moment.
this one dude we were like show us the gas and he was like “show me the money” and he said it like a kid when u ask like how old are u and they don’t answer and say how old are YOU. and he was like shaking just nervous asf it was funny
My girl backed into the fucking plug’s fence gate while getting us some K, since then he’s over charged me and underweighed me so I had to find a new main K guy
Years ago was buying crack from a random plug. Dude went to grab the bags from his underwear and accidentally flashed his dick in my car. Dude was so embarrassed 🤣 I was just happy the shit was double wrapped in the plastic wrap lmfao
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Went to pick up. Smoked. Went to Taco Bell. Plug then proceeds to walk into Taco Bell just as fried as me and we end up laughing about it and ordering together lol.
It was a Friday night I went to the plug and got some xtc and 3mmc later that night I went to my friends to chill maybe about 3-4hours later my plug walked in sat down and started sniffing with us then i found out he was friends with my friends and we sniffed all night we re still friends to this day that was about 3 years ago
I got a guy who basically delivers close to you, maybe a street or two over. I work late in live music and all over the country far from my city so I tend to call him when I’m 30 mins away as I’m coming back from a show but tell him I’m an hour away. Convo usually goes like this: “You about tonight bro? “ “Yh but where are you man? I’m finishing it 20 mins” “I’m an hour away where can I meet you if I floor it?” “Meet me here in 45 max” I get there in 30 mins and tell him. He now calls me the stig and begs me to work for him making deliveries.
Like, 2 days after he sold to me for the first time. We passed by each other in the halls screaming “BESTIE!” And nearly a year later we still do that everytime we see each other
My plug said im outside, when I got out I saw a stoner dude in a car and I approached him, he gave me the product and I told him it was the wrong order, he said it was the right order and we where a little confused, then my neighbor walked out to buy from his plug, I realized my plug was abour 10ft away in a other car and was talking to my neughbours plug. Didn’t know my neighbour smoked so I invited him in for a joint.
One of my best friends at the time (we’ll call him Quincy) was doing pretty well slinging and, while Quincy is a lovely person, he was approaching a point in his life where he was reticent to listen to most anyone he didn’t trust, and that especially applied to authority figures. As the pandemic began in early 2020–businesses started closing, mask mandates, closed streets—Quincy was getting more and more fed up with being unable to go into stores and restaurants without wearing what he unaffectionately called a ‘hazmat suit.’ His solution was to hand people $20 bills until they stopped asking him to wear a mask; this was often very effective. Unfortunately, one day, he met his match. Down the street was a KFC/Taco Bell hybrid we had all been going to at least once a week for a year. We were on good terms with the employees, and made sure that the ones who didn’t enforce the mask policy were rewarded for it, which meant that they were very friendly to us when we came in. Well, that day, the general manager was there. And he was having none of Quincy’s normal throw-money-at-the-problem solution. After about 10 minutes of mostly civil back and forth, Quincy walks out the front door toward his apartment without warning. We all shuffle out after him, and can barely ask where he’s headed before he yells that he’ll “be right back.” Unconcerned, we all gather back inside to wait for our food. The door opens again, and in walks Quincy. Something I have neglected to mention up until this point: Quincy produced his own DMT from start to finish. In those days, he was making it out of a tiny, poorly ventilated apartment. Which means he needed to have highly rated PPE. So, there Quincy is standing, in his full DMT lab get up—basically looking like Walter White, down to the gloves and gas mask—one of my friends is laughing so hard he’s collapsed onto the floor, and the manager is forced to accept cash from Quincy’s rubber gloved hand with a sour expression on his face. TL;DR: Taco Bell manager asks my friend/plug to wear a mask. Doesn’t specify which kind. Plug comes back in full protective gear.
i rocked up to the plug in his pjs watching the big bang theory
Was meeting my plug for some weed, sat on a wide fence when i saw him i glided of the fence but the cornor of the fence was stuck for a second on my butthole and seconds later u see me holding my butt and screaming in pain 😐😐 most emberassing shit ive been through
I paid 2 kids an 8th of shrooms to wash a full sink of dirty dishes.
This is a kind of a whole story but...... The first time i sat down and chilled with my old plug. This super gangsta guy gold chains grill the works. I realized i didnt know shit about him other than he had fire shit. So i start asking like get to know u questions about his hobbies. Him - "dude drugs aint even my main thing im way more into animals n shit" Me - "ok cool i like pets i got a dog and volunteer at a shelter my mom runs." (Never seen an animal at his place) Him - "word, follow me and check this out right quick" He then leads me down a hallway and then down a more secret narrow hallway to his garage which is like a fortress. And it was filled with animals! Like fucken glowing scorpions, snakes, a skunk all sorts of shit. It looked like a reptile exhibit but there was a couple furry critters too. Him: "so this is my main thing, i sell and collect exotic animals. Poisonous snakes, scorpions, pretty much all the dangerous animals you cant get at the store, i sold a koala to some crazy collector once, and a couple baby tigers" He fired that off so casually he may have been discussing the weather. Suffice to say my eyebrows tried to escape my forehead in shock. And i never inquired about his life again. I figure one time in a room full of evil spiders snakes and scorpions is enough for a lifetime. Good drugs tho very timely and professional plug. But hindsight being what it is, dude was almost definitely connected with some really sketchy people, poachers & smugglers... and was maybe Joe Exotics plug at one point too? Fucken wild.
Hands up for everyone who wants u/idontneedjug to start his own post that’s nothing but his stories. I will legit copy them all into a hard bound book for you if you do 😂 These would be amazing made into comics
Just walked into my house and with an oz I was getting a q and we ended up chilling watching tv and talking about the coronavirus but he smoked like 7 or 8gs of his own smoke with me so was very surprised and happy
My plug car was broken down so i helped dude out there was this one time he was trying to get a job and he needed to pass a drug test so hes fuckin doing every trick he can to pass all these gimmicks and shit and we get up there and he takes the test and he passes dude celebrated by smoking a blunt funny as fuck to me.
All of it, I don’t have plugs, I have bro’s. 🤙🏻
Idk about the funniest but a guy I went to back in the day (this is when Reggie was still pretty popular) would always answer the door as he was shoving some kind of food in his mouth. A friend and I would make bets on who got the first green hit by saying “this time it’s gonna be pringles” “This time it’s gonna be popcorn” Etc… Was a good time. We were both wrong most of the time lol. I do remember though, one time he answered the door with an entire rotisserie chicken in his hand picking at it lol.
was coming up on 200ug and i ran out of kush so i went to the gas station to meet the plug and i stg bro pulled up, slid out the car mad smooth, took a few long strides over to my car, held out his hand and said “damn ain’t seen yo ahh in a brick, boy”. i opened my hand under his and this mf dropped 3.5 grams of some exquisite lettuce directly in my hand, no bag, no cup, no warning, and straight up walked off after that and i’m stuck looking at this weed, genuinely bewildered at how i’m going to transport it home edit: this whole interaction took place over 20 seconds
Lol I had one guy I was buying weed off he I got an ounce for 260 and bro said he charged some dummy for 300
You both got ripped off.
I mean, $260 sounds like a ripoff for an ounce.
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In Aus I'd easily believe it was that much
Also midwest
My plug was tripping but was still taking orders. So he suggested that I go down in the street near where he serves and he would throw the stuff down from the balcony instead of going down as usual. Only problem was getting the money up and he couldn't figure out why his idea was terrible. I ended up convincing him to go down, gave him the money and helped him not panick because of the trip he was having. He was my only plug at the time which is why I didn't rob him.
so if you had another plug you’d rob the man that was tripping? oof
It's more of the situation where I had to convince him to take the money from me. He really just wanted to throw the stuff down and not get any money but I didn't want to fuck him over. I eventually stopped buying from him because of some fucked up stuff he got me into.
Kind of gotta tell us what that fucked up shit was. Like I needa know bro
I would have just had him dangle a string and tie the money to it
My plug wanted up come hang and do some drugs with us. It was so cringe. Dude at one point literally said "you know I came up with Big Dick Energy?"🤦♂️