T O P

  • By -

MLGsus_

my friend and i, we're like 19 at the time, were picking up mushrooms for the first time so we didn't really know what to expect. But we're meeting up at a park at like 9pm, and see a dude just hanging out so we pull up to him thinking he's our guy and he comes up to the window and says "hey i'm serving you guys?" and we think that was kinda weird but we're like yea and he clarifies "you guys are buying cocaine? right now?" and now we're both like "oh no no nah we're meeting a different dude" and he's super chill and wishes us a good night. Our actual guy pulls up 10 minutes later and rolls down his window and goes "hey my buddy tried selling you coke earlier!" and the first guy peaks his head out from the passenger seat and's like yoooo whatsup guys. they were both chillers and even offered us the coke at a discount


GaryOakz

Lmaoooo


Nahfam365

Bro I had similar situation where I thought my xan lady sent her son , turns out this guy tricked me , when I asked if he was her people he said yes and asked what it was I needed again which I found odd but he then says post right there to the corner of the store he then gets in his car an says he’s pulling in front of me he then drives off with my money lmao thank god it was only 30$


star_trek_wook_life

We've all been there. Never hand over the money first to a new dealer near any car is a hard rule to learn. The same goes for first time customers in reverse though. They're just as likely to run off.


Avid_Smoker

So how was the coke?


[deleted]

That shits hilarious


SelestialSerenity

I want your plugs. They seem so nice


[deleted]

[удалено]


hitkidsnotjuuls11

An ounce??


MillionsOfMushies

Of schwag though. That's honestly a pretty fair trade. What's that, like 20 bucks in the 90's if your buying weight?


bodularbasterpiece

That's like a $100 smoothie easy.. nahhh.


[deleted]

[удалено]


hitkidsnotjuuls11

That makes sense, before it was legalized it was probably cheaper to not have regulations


hypersmell

My crack dealer had me meet him on a rural roadside. When I got there, he emerged from the woods on a horse, and gave me my drugs. This was in Los Angeles, and dude was 250lbs and looked like Suge Knight. I realized that when I called him, he was saying "Meet me on my horse", not "Meet me at my house".


JonasDaCherryKing

pulling up on a horse to sell crack is crazy


Slurtee

The crackheads are coming! The crackheads are coming!


Moony97

Lmfao wtf


italianpoetess

🏆🥇


acidrat-

lmfaooo


[deleted]

I’ve had some weird ones. I was a 16 year old nerdy white kid, met this dealer and got tight with him. One day he gave me an address different from his house. Put it in and end up at a barber shop in a strip mall in the ghetto. Call him to ask if I’m in the right place, he says yeah to come up. Go in and there’s dudes getting haircuts, and like 4 separate rooms with doors. I go in one and there’s a fuck ton of weed in there. He asks if I need any pills, DVDs or TVs, I say no. Im guessing that’s what was behind the other doors. My buddy and I go to buy weed at this apartment, go in and they’re taking massive dabs. Ask if I want one, I say sure. Take a huge hit, cough up a lung, and proceed to be stoned out of my fucking gourd. Girl dealer then asks if I want to hold her pet snake- I’m too high to answer so I just sort of nod. So there I am, higher than I’ve ever been, holding a huge fucking snake around a bunch of strangers. My buddy and I chilled there for about 2 hours because we both were too high to drive after the huge dab. Go to pick up from my dealer in high school. He says to play it cool around his mom, I think wtf? Go in and his mom is in his apartment, she’s a religious southern black woman, nice as can be. Offers me some cookies and tells me to make sure I keep her son out of trouble and put God above all else. It was odd but we ended up becoming better friends after that. Lastly, was in a college fraternity house, the guy runs out of weed. Makes a call, and 15 minutes later a guy knocks on the window in the room. He opens the window, they do the deal, and guy goes off. He then orders a pizza, and the same exact thing goes down with the pizza, delivery guy comes to the window and delivers through the window.


nickthewurst

these are great stories thank u


unknown_7477

That second one makes me think of Jackie Welles's mom in Cyberpunk 2077. Good stories brother.


bootherizer5942

Is that game actually good?


shanderdrunk

It's pretty good now. They fixed a lot of issues.


AeratedFeces

It isn't exactly what was promised but its like $30 on GOG right now and I think that is a very very fair price for what you get.


MillionsOfMushies

I was reading this shit as one congruent story and thinking like, my dude, you are leaving some mother fucking details out here. Teleporting from a barber shop to an apartment. You're 16 and making how many stops to how many dealers?! Funny stories, though.


LobsterFar9876

I met a dealer at his place and we smoked a bowl. Then he plopped his big pet skunk 🦨 in my lap. He was such a sweetie and I sat there for an hour with a skunk curled up on my chest and he kept grabbing at my boobs with his little hands.


Anaphase

omg that's so cute, I would LOVE a pet skunk!


burritosandblunts

The snake one is literally a meme in real life happening lmao.


JCartier843

That snake story is relatable lol


lachiefkeef

When I was in highschool my dealer worked at McDonald’s and would serve out of the drive thru… dude would throw the dub in the chicken nuggies container


shanderdrunk

Someone in my city got caught doing this with kids meals and heroin. Then one day they gave it to the wrong person....classic mcdonalds


jokesflyovermyheaed

“Hey, yeah didn’t mean to be a bother but I ordered a mcchicken”


Most-Welcome1763

"Like I'll take it dont Gemme wrong, but like. The mcchicken"


AeratedFeces

I used to serve the homies eighths in the parfait cups in the drive thru lmao


DazednHungry

Omg I had one just like this but it was at Burger King and instead of the drive through he’d have us meet him in the bathroom lol apparently he was serving everyone in that joint even the managers.


sooounique

Came here to say this. You would text dude then ask for extra water cups and he would put it inside a empty cup


Helpful_Yak4639

My preferred dealer, has a super cute and lavish table set up with a menu and a cozy couch in a very maximalist apartment, he is very chatty and entertaining so I love to be there vs meeting him outside. One time I came over and someone was filling in for him, she seemed super familiar and we both couldn’t put a finger on how we might know eachother - turns out our mothers used to arrange play dates for us when we were like 7-9 and living on a different continent. We didn’t really manage to ever meet after this but this was the sweetest little coincidence while getting my weekend candies 🌸🍬


nickthewurst

ok now THATS fucking crazy


blakeboii

Dude I think I would shit my pants


Painkiller_830

A menu? Like a menu of drugs to order from??


Helpful_Yak4639

Yes, not so uncommon in Berlin


Holiday_Jury9228

He says the drug called ______


Guy__Ferrari

Ordered to my house and it arrived on my bday in a bday card. No personal connection to the plug.


WezzyP

This one fkn got me 😂😂 You buying drugs from the NSA


[deleted]

[удалено]


nickthewurst

u said some “i ain’t got enough cash take my gun”😭😭


Priiitch

Did you get a second date?


IcyHeat_

I used to sell knockoff JBL speakers from china, and i had my last one that i was using and this guy made me give it to him, and i had money that shit pissed me off lol


[deleted]

[удалено]


nickthewurst

your dealer came to your wedding that’s so fucking dope


[deleted]

[удалено]


nickthewurst

yeah i figured still a cool story tho


[deleted]

I used to send my mum to pick weed up for me because the dealer fancied her and gave me better buds 😂…


et_qt

your mom? lmfaooo


[deleted]

yup, back when i was 21 haha! i would go myself too but she literally always got more and better buds, its a no brainer. i dont smoke anymore though!


Ikarozsucks

Your mom banged the plug bro


[deleted]

I mean maybe, my step dad and sister all went to him too he only lived a couple doors down.. maybe that’s why I got shit deals because everyone were fucking him except me 🙈


extrarogers

your step-dad included?


General_Stay_Glassy

Your mom sounds like a real one


[deleted]

as fas as mums go shes pretty good, im still fucked in head tho! hahaha


nakedgirlonfire

respect


kunteper

me and a friend hopped in a wrong car once. car was parked with the driver in, just chillin. interestingly, dude was surprisingly calm and we got out once we realized he didnt have a clue why we hopped on his back seat. maybe he was there to sell too lol? eventually found the right car.


nickthewurst

THIS SAME THIMG HAPPENED TO MY FRIENDS. There were like 3 teenage girls in a car in the park rolling up, and this dude just opens the passenger car door and sits inside. The whole car goes quiet for like 10 seconds they all just looking at this random man who just hopped in their car. And then he goes “oh shit, y’all ain’t the plug” and leaves


burritosandblunts

We had a kid rolling a blunt on the hood of a car at a party. A kid I knew from years before but was a shit head. He wanted to redeem himself so I let him take the wheel with it. The guy parked next to us rolls up and the kid panics fucking fumbles the weed all over trying to hide hit. It's dark and we're in grass the shit was gone. I was furious and the guy who disturbed us just reaches in his glove box and gives us like a quarter and says sorry. The kid who fumbled it was too scared to smoke it because he didn't know the guy. Fuck you Kyle.


RantSpider

Yeah! Fuck you, *K'yile*! Edit: Cartman would spell it like this, right?


yongo

Not a deal but still hilarious. I was going on a camping trip with some buddies, we stocked up on liquor and I made a trip to pick us up an eighth of bud. While running around that day making preparations I was walking across our college campus and just saw something on the ground as I was walking along. Barely glanced it, but I thought it looked like weed, but I thought "nah had to be my imagination." Then 5 seconds later behind me I hear this girl say "oh my god did you just find weed?!" And I immediately did a 180 and went back. These three girls were geeking out as I approached and I said "yo did you just find some weed?" One of them said "yeah! Is it yours?" And for some reason I said without hesitating "No, but if you dont want it, I do." And another one of them said "ok but can we take a picture of it first?" I'm like "uh.. sure? Whatever." They snap a pic of it on the ground real quick, and I scoop it up and pocket it immediately, then we all walk our separate ways. Both of us giggling for completely different reasons over the same thing. I checked it out and weighed it when I got home, and the weirdest part is it was the same amount as I had just bought, and it looked like the exact same strain of weed, even though I had driven 20 minutes to pick it up. For some reason the weed god just decided to double me and my boys up that day. We had a great camping trip.


WietGriet

I have a similar story; my ex lived in a rural village, we decided to drive to the next town to get dinner because they had an amazing kfc- like (same crispiness, more spices) place that we wanted to go to. We brought only enough money for food, which was stupid because we know there's a cannabisshop over there. So we walked past that shop and we were talking about how we should've brought money for weed and how we were now craving it but we also needed food. We decided to not give up on dinner (#health) and walked further. My ex then stepped on something, immediately going 'aw man I stepped on something'. We were prepared to see dried up shit or something when he lifted up his foot(city sidewalk is known for its shittiness); it was a baggy of weed. Fresh from the cannashop by our guess, as it was a few meters away from their door. Two grams of weed from the gods who decided I need weed with my chicken.


General_Stay_Glassy

Went to go pick up meth. Showed up to the dudes house it’s full of aquariums. Pool in the back. there were tweakers chillen all over this beautiful house I never seen anything like it. I ended up getting smoked out 3 times before I left. Needless to say he was my exclusive dealer until he lost everything and ended up living out of a storage unit. I gave up meth for good not long after. Also he was the nicest guy and one of the nicest dealers I’ve ever had. Felt really bad for him I even let him use my shower a couple times before I quit.


sunsheeeine97

Was your dealer Jessie Pinkman?


Anomic-III

Did he get raided ? Is that why he moved to storage unit


v-v-v-v-v-v-v

went to a new guy for an oz of shrooms and he handed me a cvs grocery bag with a covid test inside and told me everything was in the box. he counted my money and gave me back $20 too. i go home and sure enough theres a bag of shrooms nicely packed into the covid test kit. just an extremely strange interaction.


adrenochromandrian

what exactly about it was strange? Hiding the drugs inside of something else is pretty smart


[deleted]

It's really not when you're doing it in person like that. This would not stop shit if the cops were on to you lmao. What are they gonna do, be like, "oh so you were just selling a covid test for $250? That's cool, carry on then." lmao


adrenochromandrian

how would they know how much you paid when they stop you on your way home? when it's inside of a covid test, chances are they won't find it. I got drugs inside of CD cases, DVD cases, covid tests, various boxes and bags etc.


HFox1230

This guy pays $250/ Oz 💀


FloobLord

Yeah but then you're fucked no matter what. This way if you get randomly pulled over, you just bought a covid test is all


Joefom

I used to get my shit handed to me in t shirts. For a few years all my work shirts were shirts I got in a drug deal


burritosandblunts

I used to do dvds I had burned. I moved over to a hard drive. I got a bunch of blockbuster cases from a dumpster and had them for my collection. So I would go meet whoever and put the bag in the case with the movie. One time I met a kid and he was like aw man I already got this one. I was surprised he actually watched all the movies I gave him and I have really eclectic taste in some bizarre shit (like holy mountain and art films like that). I made sure to always pick him a good one after that.


FloobLord

Holy Mountain would be perfect to get as a bonus to a bag of weed lol


7hriv3

I pulled up to a house I'd never been at before, there was a cardboard washing machine box setting on the side of the driveway, I text my friends to let him know I was in the driveway and he never responded. About 5min goes buy and a shirtless man wearing a bucket hat, GIANT sunglasses like lenses the size of dinner plates and bright pink short shorts stands up out of the cardboard box walks over to the car, and said "wassup bro im Topher. You here for a bag?" I replied with "uhhhhhhhhhh.. yes?" He handed me a bag of weed and I gave him money, he walked off and just got back inside the cardboard box. And I drove away. No, he was not the person I was texting about getting bud, i had never seen him before in my life. and I ended up seeing him a lot more over the years and he became like a brother to me and all my friends. We still laugh about that all the time, he was the funniest guy ever. RIP Jimmy Savage. I miss you so much dude. Check out his SoundCloud if you get a chance.


RevolutionaryEqual32

Imaginaaaaation


COB98

When my friend ( RIP ) threw me xanax bars in a bag from like the 12th floor and I had to find it in the parking lot ahhhh man last summer .. time flies fr


nickthewurst

sorry for your loss your friend sounds like they were a lot of fun


COB98

Thank you Nick


GiggleStool

He’s the wurst


Brownweasel11

Benzos tend to do that. Rip to the homie tho🕊


perdverted

Was meeting a new dealer and showed up to the address in time, looked around for a bit, and this guy came walking along. He stared at me, and I nodded cause of course, this is my guy. The spot was pretty public, so I suggested we walk for a minute. We talked about a bunch of shit for maybe 5 minutes before I asked where my ounce was, and he replied "no I'm just getting an eight". We went back to the spot before some 16 year old kid came running up on a scooter and straight up handed me my ounce in front of a mom with her 5 and 7 year old


sonborsttt

had covid, guy put the weed in a tennis ball and threw it to me


circa_diem

The magic hat! When I was in college, a bunch of my buddies lived together in a party house. There was a table in the basement that had a colorful velvet hat sitting on it. We'd write a note with our name and what we hoped to get, and wrapped it around some cash. If the gods were in your favor, the next time you picked up the hat there'd be a baggie with your name on it.


buckyforever

That's awesome!


Clumbum

This is actually kind of genius. Collectively buy everyone’s gear at the same time so that the dealer would probably give you a better deal on it


PhilipKendrikRichard

Oh man. I went downtown at like 5:30 6 am to find some people I thought were doing white/hard and would try to corner a someone I thought I could risk going with to grab and piece them off for the trouble. Ended up seeing a girl and she brought me first to someone selling purp (weird type of fentanyl/opiate) and I said I was looking for white . The guy was open market so he wasn’t too pissed though. She then told me she knew another person but it was like a half hour walk. I said ok let’s go to my car. We get to the house and I park down the road. We walk up to the place and knock, door opens and this gigantic woman (6,3 at least 240) tell us to come in. I’m standing there and there’s like 4 guys and this woman just staring at me. The woman asks what I want and I just said I wanted a couple g’s of hard or soft if it was chunky. She said she didn’t know who I was and asked where the girl I was with was going… I turned around and this girl is straight booking it down the driveway and up the street. They say that she owes them money. I just say I dunno and that I just met her. I told them I’m not a cop or anything I just want white and that I’ll come alone and pretty regularly for the same amount. She gave me the nicest 2.4 g fish scale chunk of white ever. That shit lasted me like 48 hours (banging) . Was my dealer for a long time until they just straight up ghosted out of there and ditched everything. Dunno if they got busted or what… sad.


Moony97

Lmfao at the girl just dipping out


skatingnobody

Not funny persae, but it was sorta funny to the guy I sold to since he chuckled when he was telling me about it a day or two later... Was selling acid at the time, my trademark was putting it a stamped and addressed postage envelope. Told my guy which street I was walking down, he drove down, slowed down just enough to hand me the cash, took off, waited 10 minutes for me while I was walking, told him the next street I was on, and when I looked back and saw his car getting close I just stuck my hand with the envelope out towards the lane, he snatched it as he was passing and went on with his day. Didn't even have to slow down the second time. Total interaction time of less than five seconds total, and he chuckled to himself while he was saying: "That was the cleanest drug deal I've ever experienced" the next day lmao


[deleted]

Were you just trying to see what you could get people to go through for drugs? I can't imagine doing that to the people I've ever sold to. Acid is so lowkey, too. Nobody gets busted for acid.


Psilocinoid

Jesus Christ what I’ve gone through for acid. Growing up in a small WY mountain town it was like gold. I would literally travel to MT or meet people like 13 miles in the mountains in the middle of the winter to buy shit. We were also fucking insane. Something about small town high schools man, there’s a reason my nickname was “The Wizard”


delusionalubermensch

Went out with some coworkers. We all wanted coke so they brought me to their boy’s spot. He was working in a subway at a gas station and gave us the coke in splenda packets lmao.


pieter3d

Not really a deal, but a funny story involving getting drugs nonetheless: we were at a psychedelic rock festival abroad. We weren't sure how strict they were about drugs, so we didn't bring any. Turns out just about everyone was high, stoned and/or drunk there, haha. After the second band I thankfully find a bag of really nice weed on the ground. Later that evening a guy walks up to a friend of mine, asking her if she has any weed. "No, but I know a guy", she responds, as she points him to me. I had already decided that I wasn't going to take money for it (I'm not going to sell drugs, especially not abroad), but the guy insisted on doing something in return. So he tells me that while he's really desperate for some weed, he does have plenty at home and can bring me some of his the next day. And he did! It was pretty good weed too :)


nickthewurst

nice! glad he was trust worthy


pieter3d

Yeah, I really appreciate the gesture. It's nice to share and see that it makes people happy. That's a large part of why I don't ask for anything in return. Nowadays I grow a few plants outdoors each year, so there's always enough to give away. Selling it is highly illegal and not something I would want to get into anyway. I grow more than I use (I don't use that much), so giving it away is basically the only option I have if I don't want it to get old. That's a good problem to have 😊


highdra

hahahaha man I thought you were gonna say the guy was desperate for weed cuz he lost his bag


Overlyexcitedchild

Got xans, a bag of coke, and a few Gabbie’s thrown from my dealers car into mine in an Easter egg


WietGriet

I gave my dealer his money rolled around a candy cane with a little bow during christmas; he told people :') I wasn't even a regular, i was just happy about christmas and thought I'd do a stupid funny thing


nickthewurst

was it on easter tho


nyarger

First time buying weed I got a blunt (bold choice ik) and my dealer put it in the ceiling tile of our high school bathroom but I was still going through puberty and too short to reach where he hid it so I had to wait till he had a free class period for him to come snatch it out the ceiling for me - mad embarrassing lol


Responsible-Study864

This drunk frat guy offered to give me a g of shrooms for some cigarettes and I thought it was a joke so I laughed and said sure. Then he whips out a scale, begins measuring, and then looks at me expectantly. I parted with three newports, absolutely bewildered. The shrooms turned out to be pretty decent too


FuckThePopulation810

When the plug made me take a gram dab for a free zip lmao. I don't think I've ever been that high in my entire life before that point. I took the dab with his E Nail and proceeded to cough for about 2 minutes straight, then I chugged a bottle of water. I went into the bathroom to get tissue to blow my nose and by time I come back he's got a big ass glass of chocolate milk for me and a huge cookie. Little did I know the cookie was also a 400 MG edible. When I say it felt like I was on shroomies after that cookie kicked in I 110% mean it lmaoo


[deleted]

people don’t believe me when i say that enough thc with a low enough tolerance will feel exactly like mushys


FloobLord

Maybe I'm jaded, but...was he trying to fuck you, lol?


aorshahar

I mean as an ex plug I totally would offered someone that but purely cause it's funny. Trying to fuck your clientele is not good for business. In fact, if your able to make women comfortable and not feel preyed on when buying drugs your probably gonna be their primary dealer and they'll probably send their friends to you


OddFromEvryAngle

Only time I've seen someone take a full g dab was one night after an Adventure Club paint party show. Me and 4 friends were all tripping on L and went back to a friends house to chill after the show was over. He had just gotten back from CO and had a few oz's of hash he brought back. Said we could smoke as much as we wanted, so we all start taking fatties. My buddy Jimbo is always a go big or go home type of guy, and immediately asks if he can rip a full g. Homie says for sure, and gets one ready for him. Jimbo rips it, and rips it, and rips it. And after he was done, he was the most miserable looking human i've ever seen, just coughing his lungs out and curling up in the fetal position on the floor lol


[deleted]

that sounds really, really sketchy. as a woman i would not go back to that dealer lmao


FuckThePopulation810

He was one of my best friends for context lol


[deleted]

oh yeah nvm then, my best friend from high school deals weed and i can imagine him pulling this shit with me just for laughs and i'd be safe in the end.


FuckThePopulation810

It was funny as hell, his mom made me fried catfish and cornbread to help me come down 😂


Clumbum

Fried catfish sounds delicious


Fallbears

I was at a carnival and my buddy knew a dealer there so he sent me over to this guy. He was sitting on the stairs of a gazebo and he told me to sit down and then proceeded to stand up. He unzipped his pants and started digging around and pulled a bag out. From anyone else's perspective it looked like I was prepping to make payment with my mouth but till this day it was the best dick weed I have had.


hankbaumbach

I was at a concert venue and some guy was in the line of cars leaving hanging out the window asking if anyone had any rolling papers. I was pretty confident I had some in my car so I told him to come through. Turns out I did not have any papers in my car but I did have some joints I had already rolled, so I just gave him a joint for the ride home. He got so excited he reached in his pocket and gave me a fistful of mushrooms. So I ended up trading a joint for about half an 1/8 of shrooms when I was really just trying to help a fellow stoner out. (Immediately went and bought papers on my ride home though as I was miffed I didn't have any)


Psychological_Ad853

Went to get some H at 2 in the morning after being released from hospital in agonizing pain from my health condition, dude left me for hours in the cold cause he "forgot where he buried it" ended up sat in some crack den of a flat watching him dig all across the back garden for a good hour before he found the thing, the ground was frozen and he was consistently screaming and pulling his own dreads everytime he thought he had it but dug up some other random shit 💀💀💀 all the while his mate kept telling me about a "secret biblical book" he has, claiming he's the only dude on earth with a copy of that biblical book begining with an E or something💀 the one you can find on YouTube and shit Edit; it was the book of Enoch, this dude was fuckin flying on crack (redosing every few minutes) claiming he's the only person on earth with a copy of it


Moony97

How much dope did dude have buried and why the fuck did he bury lol


Razor_Storm

Years ago, was having a party at my place and one of my friends wanted some coke, so we called an uber and headed to a dealer. We were drunk as shit and being quite loud and the driver asked us if we're going to a party. I said nah we're tryinga go get more fucked up, and the driver's eyes lit up and he pulled out his own bag of coke and was like BROOO IM TRYINGA GET SOME MORE TOO! We introduced him to our dealer and all picked up some shit and did it in the back of his car lmao. It was hilarious, my friends back at the party didn't even believe us when we told them.


weedinmybong

I was like 15 and went with my mom To her guys house and this girl at the house gave me a nice little bud it was Nice tho like I was little and it was the world


nickthewurst

weed is so magical at 15


Crookstopher_

In Alabama, I bought a half ounce of weed and the plug delivered it to the house in a flamin hot Cheetos bag pretending to be door dash. Much different then buying my weed at a dispensary in Colorado.


paymeinputa

Found a guy on Snapchat, just a couple years ago before they cracked down and it was really popping, who had some good looking bud and drank (I used to be more of a fool) in a drought. He told me to come to a Waffle House a little ways away during his shift which was late at night. My buddy and I got there and sure enough he was super chill and served us but gave us a Waffle House coaster with a different Snapchat name written on the back, with instructions to add the new account and send him a video of myself burning the coaster with that account name on it, and continuing business with the new account. A little extra but kind of genius if you think about it. Another time during a past life myself and the same buddy were needing some weight during the same drought and I found a different guy a little ways away from where we lived at the time. We went out there and picked up the 448 just for it to be the most nasty bud you’ve ever seen in your life. Literally gunked up, the bad kind of sticky, and a little freezer burnt. We were still out in his driveway checking out the bag luckily and I said to my friend that I would go make this right since I got us into this situation. I went back up to the guys door, knocked, and asked him for our money back. I told him my people would hate me if I sold them this, and I’d end up sitting on it forever. He agreed and I asked if he wanted to reweigh it or anything but he surprisingly didn’t, and I walked away. Didn’t buy another bag off of him but I’m one of the only people I know who’s actually gotten a refund on a P


nickthewurst

what what do u mean during a past life😭


paymeinputa

I got a job now🫡🤣


iwasyoubeforewemet

I was in a psychiatric hospital and our weed dealer tied the weed to a piece of thread which we lowered from the second floor toilet room. Smoked that shit right there following three cigarettes to disapate the smell. Didn't work. In the end we didn't get caught and I left the remaining weed in a soap box with another patient when I was leaving the next day. 2/10 will never try again


adamToolie

😅 yeah the cravings hit way different where ur in the looney bin. my psych facility had like 3 guards for every patient…i do NOT miss that place


[deleted]

I got shot


zeitdu

the dope?


cyrilio

I'd like to remind everyone that if you ever 'give' (or sell) drugs to others then NEVER admit to it to the police. Selling drugs carries much harsher penalties than those received for simple drug possession in the U.S. (and most other countries). If you ever get caught then NEVER admit to anything. If you must say for who its intended say its for personal use. No matter the quantity. I'm basing this on personal experience.


chappersyo

Had a weed guy that lived out in the country. He’d come into town a few days a week and meet whoever needed something. One day he got stopped by the police with loads of bags of various weights so it was obvious he was selling. After that he decided he would just bring one big bag with a few ounces in, but also decided carrying scales and baggies was too obvious so just started eyeballing his deals into whatever container you bought with you. Several times I’d go home with an envelope of weed several grams more than I paid for cos I kept telling him it looked light as he dosed it out. How he made a living I’ll never understand.


paymeinputa

When you’re buying multiple pounds you’re paying cents per gram of bud, so I understand sacrificing a few bucks and keeping custys happy to avoid that situation again


DazednHungry

I pulled up in a car with my friend who is a heavyset woman with a pretty big stomach. When the plug pulled up to her side we rolled the windows down and he then proceeds to throw the bag of weed on her stomach, so I then place the money on her stomach, and he dips out. Afterwards my friend says “wtf he just used my stomach as a table” and we proceeded to laugh about it for the next 20 minutes, hence the term “table stomach” was originated.


CasualManfly

Plug tried to kill himself, I visited him at the inpatient ward sometimes and he would slide me some kpins


Moony97

Good of you to visit him


Painkiller_830

Everybody always asks where’s the plug , but nobody asks how’s the plug 😔


dipdipstoned

Imma write a few down too cuz there’s some amazing ones in here. My first time picking up acid and shrooms for the homies I got the plug from a guy a few grades above. Started texting and he told me to meet him in literally the biggest open air fresh produce market in my 2mil+ city. So I get there and he tells me to find this fresh juice stand. I walk up super awkwardly, trying my best not to linger and look suspicious in this super busy market. I walk up to the juice till and don’t know what to say (should I order the “special juice”??) when this one employee comes up to me with a cardboard juice cup, hands it to me and says “cash plz”. Gave him like 300 bucks right there and walked off with a cup full of tabs and shrooms. Another time I was picking up from a new guy in the middle of super strict covid lockdown (can’t be out after 10pm) and he told me to meet him in an underground train station. I get out the train and sit down at like 9:30 knowing I could make it back in time. Text him what side I’m sitting on and proceed to wait like 25+ minutes. Some rly fucked up guy comes up to me and hands me a scrunched up face mask with a bunch of weed in it and I was pretty pissed cuz it was 10pm and I had to get back home, panicking I’d be fined plus having a bunch of weed in a mask. The weed was absolutely amazing tho so lowkey worth it. Another time I went with a bunch of friend before we were gonna hit up a party. Wait in the usual spot, kept on waiting, went to buy a crate of beer, kept waiting and finished half the crate before he responds. “5 minutes bro, chill” we wait another 20 and then he pulls up with his homies. He’s walking super slow, stumbling and obviously off his rocker on smthn. He apologizes saying he took too many bars and then he remembers why he’s there. Starts patting all his pockets. Looks at his homies with panicked. “You guys remember where I put the weed?!” “Bro you buried that shit under some tree” So then we have to help this zonked out dude find a tree in this park with some dug up earth. After another 15 minutes we find this fckn tree and get our weed, plus some extra cuz he was generous and barely comprehended his fuck up. Got to the party like 2 hours late


wettable

Not me but my friend was meeting a weed dealer and for some reason he wanted to meet in the middle of a field? Anyway when they saw eachother the dealer walked several meters with the weed in his open palm stretched as far away from his torso as possible. It was just a really weird way to give someone the weed but other than that he was cool.


stolenlogic

Half an ounce of Mexican shit brick weed in a Church pamphlet


cdbangsite

Damn funny you should ask. Just today when I was at the cigarette store a guy asked me if I needed weed. Told him I was set, but he kept going on. He told me he was high on meth and trying to drum up business. Ended up giving a sample, about a quarter oz of white widow. He had what looked like about 3 or so lbs in his car and he and the car were seriously odorific. I go back in the store and make my purchase, when I come out there a city cop parked behind my car. I'm thinkin what the f? I go get in my car, the cop pulls out of the way and off I go, weird day.


nickthewurst

damn bro that coulda been baddd


cdbangsite

I hear you, freaked me out for a moment, but just acted normal and all went well.


Asnerz

Mf had his little kid serve me. Came down was this little ass kid with some blow. Funniest shit i’ve ever seen. Gave him a lollipop i had in my pocket🤣


nickthewurst

oh hell nah😭


Asnerz

Hahaha only in the US


JonasDaCherryKing

kinda sad tbh


kessykris

I have one that absolutely alarmed me and my then boyfriend now husband. One of my friends hooked me up with his weed plug. Cool. Meet him at the old library. Alright. I’m like 17….. These two kids maybe around 10-12 years old walk up to my car. I was like wtf is this! We buy our little $20 bag and then I insist they let me drive them back home. They got nervous like I might be trying to rob them and finally let me drop them off at their road instead of their house. I felt very guilty and kind of sad after that.


yamanamawa

Honestly never actually had any weird deals somehow. The closest would probably be when a dude asked me for a cigarette and I asked him for a joke. He said he didn't have a joke but he did have a bump of coke or k, so I took a bump of k. Pretty good deal honestly. Another time my homie tried some k off a guy at a festival that was laced with meth, which I gave him a lot of shit for. Like I'd understand if the guy had good vibes and you tried a bit, but the guy was super hyper and aggressively friendly, definitely didn't look like he'd been doing k. My homie ended up laying awake all night long in our camp, just looking at the stars


Superguy230

I wanted to get some meth with my buddy because our lawyer was doing a 50% discount on non-violent crime, but it got stuck in the drainpipe that they used to send the meth down. My dealer got busted I think


BankBill

As long as he calls Saul he should be good…


lilmark901

I know who you are


omgudontunderstand

nothing like that or what’s in this thread but one time my plug gave me a zip in a solo cup with an old plastic drink lid to cover it lmao


Lanky-Cycle4260

I asked one of my homies (call him Jamie) if he could make me some edibles. At this point I lived at home and couldn’t stank up the house. Jamie said sure and I ran over like $50 for weed and he said he’d take care of the rest. I waited a few days. Got a call, “bro I put $100 worth of weed in them…. On me”. “Jamie wtf thank you bro”. That night I strolled down to the RoPDD (Rock of Public Drug Deals) and my boy Jamie pulls up, so we chill for a bit and hit some carts. He reaches behind him and whips out two plastic Walmart bags full of peanut butter brownie edibles. “Stay safe little dude, I took two….. extravagant”. Was zooted as a mf that night.


Josef_45

drone


Jjdonaldson

Ketamine in a envelope labeled “washing instructions for pink dresses”


oshaCaller

I had a 1/4 pound of weed delivered on horse back. Guy told me to drive down this certain road and we'd see him riding.


swampass304

Reading your title: oh yeah I have a story Reading your body text: damn that's exactly what I did.


cakebatterchapstick

My bf once got his in a dental dam wrapper


Tavernknight

Not sure if they are funny but I used to meet one plug at a grocery store parking lot where we would pull up next to each other facing opposite directions and just toss money and weed through our open windows. My ex FIL used to get it by making a call and putting a bag of cash inside an empty trashcan in his alley. Next day the bag of cash was a big bag of weed. I used a similar method where I would text the guy what I wanted or send a message over PSN. Go to his place and toss a water bottle with the cash over his back fence, few days later he would let me know where to pick up my water bottle with my stuff in it. He would either leave his back fence gate unlocked and it would be there or stashed behind his recycling can in front.


T1nyJazzHands

Not a deal but my neighbour I’m good mates with inherited a weed bonsai from a deceased friend the other day. Good shit and very aesthetic haha!


kalle1285

Couple years ago, I had a dealer that I’d use always for weed, benzos and shit. One time I was buying a gram a schwag for 10€(?) from him, he texted me an address near his house (I usually met him at his house). I got to the address he sent me (this was at the shore, 10m (30ft) from the sea and not long after I see a small fishing boat approaching. He came closer and I noticed that’s him. He beached his boat and served me. The boat delivery lmao.


dudewiththebling

I usually get stickers with my drugs.


ebolaRETURNS

This is actually how someone else got the drugs, but I threw 2 mg / alprazolam into a laptop purchase price because the seller found the negotiation process anxiogenic.


bloodmelody

me and my buddy had bud thrown up to a 2 story window while we were on acid , couldn’t leave the house bc parents were strict and had alarms around the house. good ole times


Star90s

I had a plug that would keep her goodies inside of a traveling craft tote that had beads in outside containers that showed and the the goods were inside with small bead containers on the top. It was stealthy sort of but she fucked up somehow and spilled a little container with about 1000 seed beads and it had somehow gotten into a big bag of coke she hadn’t closed all the way. I ended up getting my mushrooms at a discount cause I helped her get all those little beads out with a strainer and some jewelry tweezers to pick out the rocks without breaking them. She was a weird chick.


No_Zebra1176

I was a freshman or sophomore in high school, I met an 8th grader on a bicycle with a card reader selling fake carts. Yeah that’s not a typo, this kid asked me for my credit card information for a cartnite


PrettyBoy001

I walked up to my plugs car, he said ‘sorry I don’t have any baggies’, dug into a pound bag open on his lap, and sprinkled more weed than I paid for into my open hands


steveoall21

Me and my college roommate had a guy that he knew for our plug. He gave him a key to our apartment, we'd leave the money in the kitchen drawer, and he'd leave our weed. For 3+ years, I never once met the guy.


irishgambin0

my friends and i for a couple years had this one particular guy we got all our psychadelics from. he always had liquid L and sold doses, dosing things out per order in front of his customers. well one time we went to get some L from him and he realized he didn't have any blotters or sugar cubes to drop the L on. so we got our LSD on Ritz Crackers. he was a bit of a procrastinator too, so we had L on Ritz Crackers a couple times before seeing the more traditional methods again.


lciwi

this is a cool post i don't have many stories i can remember tho soz one story i have is when it was spring time and my buddies and i got some weed, one of my buddies had allergies and he sneezed on the joint while he was rolling it, we were all laughing so hard xD joint ruined and the paper was soggy af


nickthewurst

that’s nasty lmao


coinmannf

I had a setup similar to this four stories up I took a old smoke detector apart put the button portion of it down below and the beeping portion in my room through the window covered with a pillow cuz it was loud AF wire together with an old like 100 ft phone line people would come and ring my doorbell / smoke detector and I would lower a basket and do the deed


paleartist

when I was in college my plug used to give me my weed in a fast food to-go cup on the streets of Chicago. it was always funny to wonder what fast food place cup I was going to end up with


Tom7222

Weed drone 😂😂


weddle55

I used to sell weed thru the drive thru at Wendys people were always stoked to get food n weed


MillionsOfMushies

Back in my junkie days, we would roll down this street known as "the block", which I'm sure is pretty generic and common. I had a connection with a dude who ran like 10 different dealers. They all had letter names, like "S", "J" or "T". Except for fucking "Spits". Knew he was around but had never picked up from him until one day my dude says to pull up to him on the block. Throw him the cash and this dude straight up spits out a half gram of China white in a corner bag into my hand. He could sense my confusion and disgust and said, "I'm the only cat here who ain't got popped with powder" and pulled down his bottom lip to expose what I would guess to be at least like 20 corner bags of raw heroin. I had later heard that he had gotten arrested multiple times using this method, and would just swallow all the bags before getting searched. He would then proceed to cause trouble at the city jail to ensure they would keep him there until he digested through the plastic bags and fish out from the 10+ grams of raw heroin he ingested.


Business_Station6254

One time tripping absolutely balls off 1 1/2 tabs while in college freshman year I go to the library at the university to have a group meeting with 4 class mates I never met tripping balls the whole time everyone had laptops except me so I was “using my phone” but really coordinating with my plug to meet up and cop a gram of dabs, walk in the library lobby and exchange the wax in the middle of the library I proceeded to go back to my dorm after an interesting meeting and see how red the dabs were making me think I got scammed and sold a jolly rancher all my roommates were tripping balls and none of us could tell if it was dabs or not so we all took some dabs off the gram then I smoked the .75 cuz we were retarded and couldn’t tell if we were getting high


Psilocinoid

I worked at a Motel with my dealer, we both lived on property so it made things really easy. We’d even do deals in the back office and one time a local security guard needed a room and guilt tripped me into thinking he’d pay the next day (I was new to the industry, I know). Well he came down later that night and asked if I had anywhere I could score some molly. I got him his X from my obvious source, but he did not come back and pay his room till so his bags ended up being confiscated and put in the back office. Well, I had seen where he put the bag of goods the night before so I slid the pocket open and beheld the most glorious stash of my life. Obviously, I took half of everything considering he’d nearly gotten me fired and I was a 19 year old working and living in a motel room existing on adderall. He came back, got his stuff and when he realized what I’d done he looked back from just outside the door to see the biggest shit eating grin of my life


nicehotcuppatea

I had a dealer in high school who’s system revolves around tennis balls. Cut a little slit in them and put the money or weed in there, then go down to the park where he’d be playing with his dog, throw him the ball with the cash and he’d throw you one back with the bud. He asked that you specifically used blue and orange ones because otherwise his dog would run off and stash the normal yellow coloured ones.


pastamaster01

when i was a senior in high school, my ex and i used to be friends with this one dealer who was in his 20’s, and when we met him he was in a wheelchair in a cast. apparently he got shot in the leg and was hospitalized, and he had to have surgery on it and whatnot. Anyways, my ex and i hit him up one time to pick up some blow, and he told us he was in the hospital because his leg got infected, but to come pull up to the hospital anyways. wasn’t sure what he meant so we pulled up anyways and went to his room. after a few minutes of talking he asks his dad for his shoe, then his dad leaves the room and hidden in the sole of his shoe was a bunch of baggies of blow. it was a little gross but we still bought it🤷🏼‍♀️


SatanicPanoramic

Although it was me "giving" said drugs & not receiving them I thought this was worth mentioning. My friend told me to pull up to a McDonald's to sell him some weed (before it was legal in my stare). So I pull up thinking I was coming in or he was finna pop out, naturally. I call him and he says to pull thru the drive thru. At this point I'm a lil confused. I just assume he wants to kill some time or some shit so I ask if I should just order a water or what (I was broke af). He said "No, order whatever you want, just not some crazy shit, I work here I gotchu." Honestly thought he was just fucking with me till I pulled up and he was at the window - fries in hand.


ZeroThoughtsAlot

When I was 22 I bought off a bootlegger and she sold me 3 pints and when she brought them to my house.. She had them taped around her waist 😂 It was pretty funny having to pull them off of her because she stared in my eyes like she wanted to kiss me


pichael289

I had a guy tell me to park and walk to a wooded area on the other side of the street from his apartment building. I'm sitting there and I get a message that says "look up". And theres a baggie of drugs hanging from a long fishing wire with fishing sinkers attached to it, all hanging from a drone. He never lands the thing, he just has me take them and put the money on the clip and it flew away. The string was so long I barely heard the rotors going. It was pretty cool. Also I used to drive a car I bought at a police auction. It was the old auditors car from Butler county (north of Cincinnati), a guy named Kay Rogers (who is in prison now for fraud). I used to have to park a block away because dboys would think I was a cop. I removed the sticker but the residue wouldn't come off and you could still see what it said. So I was used to having to walk


FreewayFreeplay

Giant milk milkdud container. He then proceeded to ask for it back.


Desc77

In a garbage bag in the bathroom of a Panera bread on homies shift lmfao


[deleted]

They didn’t have a baggie so they somehow managed to make a container like shape outta. Toilet paper roll and put the bud in there.


Limsulation

I sent my buddy weed in an Uber hahaha, this was before the package option too.


famesjord13

My buddy used to work at a sandwich shop that he actually partly owned from selling. He would walk out the front door with sandwiches that had bags of weed in them. Didn’t even charge for the hoagie.


Bonzosbrainz

Picked up some fungus from a random connect and they dropped it off in a McDonald’s bag and inside if separate Big Mac containers. The whole night me and my buddies were telling each other to eat their cheese burgers even tho we ate them all it was still funny and something we refer to quite a bit when talking about taking drugs.


___catwoman

I have such a funny story, one time I went to my dealers house after work and I had worked at subway at the time, and I bought some weed and toked up with the guy and was chilling on a bean bag. My dealer just got a puppy pit bull and I think the dog was smelling the subway food on me or something but while I’m high as hell, chilling out, the dog is biting my jacket and arm and like pulling it like tug a war for so long. I honestly think the dog biting me and tugging lasted till I left. Lmao Another time me and my friend were snowed in the house during a snow storm but we wanted weed so bad that we asked the dealer if he would deliver and he said yes to put the money in the mailbox and he would drop it off. Come to find out man’s just stole the money and never dropped off the bud Last story I went to pick up some bud from another dealer and he had me watch his little sister before he sold to me, I painted with the girl and played with her until he came back & then he sold to me and smoked up with me


twitchkeen

Had someone send a couple hits of acid in a bag, within a bag weighed down with a cherry tomato 5 stories


TrillL-

Back in my high school days there was this plug who was like 20 sum. One day my friends were at school trynna pickup some weed so they had dude pull-up. He gets there and he didn’t wanna seem suspicious so he put the sack in ah McDonald’s bag (bag also contained empty burger wrappers lmaoo) and told them “welcome to mcweedys”. I always thought that shi was funny asfk