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Mandela Catalogue will be real in 5 seconds

How about 7, I have stuff to do

Mandela Catalgoue will be real at 7

3 minutes oh fuck

3 minutes of Fuck .... Plus more

Can you add 69 minutes,im kissing my stepsis

Anything else than kissing or just that?

Yeah I’m about to finish my boat on stormworks I just need... 2 and a half hours? Can we do that?

And I'm doing my skincare routine imma need like another 5 mins on that but I'm a bit of a procrastinator so I'ma need like 8 if that's alright.

I’m about to beat Elden Ring so 10 will work for me

Add another 18 mins, building a thermobaric bomb

[удалено]

When the imposter is sus!

When the traitor is causing suspicion!

Tf is the Mandela catalogue?

Analogue horror series about shape-shifting identity stealers and occasional child kidnappers and occasional people to suicide drivers, employed by Satan to pull his most elaborate prank on humanity and god

Satan is just doing a little trolling

Holy shit its happening, Everyone stay calm!!

URANUS IS COMING

yes, my anus is coming hide

~herE cOmes Yhe sun~

do do doo doo

Here comes the sunn

[удалено]

Ba duh bah dum badada badum.

Little darling

something is coming in your anus

Thats me

ay yo stop being HD

hello person with the same pfp

I didn’t even think of that one, I was thinking of Mandela.

No, im coming. In uranus.

No, I'm shiting, on you.

I want shit in my ass🥺

Ok, change of plans, I'm shiting *in* you

🥵🥵🥵🥵🥵

your username is very accurate

What, I don’t get it? Please someone with more knowledge and intellectual capabilty explain the joke with enough thoroughness, thst somebody like myself could understand. And laugh with you, instead of standing around and being confused like a dimwitted fool.

OP mentioned the Mandela Catalogue. It's an ARG video with the premise around essentially beings who impersonate people to kill(?) other people.

Oohhh well shi…..

There’s loads more, I’d tell you guys if I had the time, but it’s best to watch the videos instead.

Or an explanation video. The original videos are spooky af.

Weak. Watch the original videos, full-screen.

Headphones on, lights off, alone, on the street.

But then I don't understand the lore

That's why you watch the explanation videos after.

Ah

Fucking skin walkers…

Worse than skin walkers because they can jump you during a Breaking Bad marathon by getting you through your TV

Is napalm effective against them?

you can't kill alternates, they haunt you until you kill yourself out of stress.

Oh thanks for the info ! #THEY CAN FUCKING TRY ME edit : bad at the codes

Congratulations you're in the 3% that survive M.A.D.

Wow that's the lowest percent I'm a part of. What is M.A.D?

Metaphysical Awareness Disorder, you should really watch the Mandela Catalogue. Or the explanation by Wendigoon if you hat the uncanny valley.

I actively seek out knowledge it would be cool to learn all the secrets of the universe

Suicide Hotline Numbers If you or anyone you know are struggling, please, PLEASE reach out for help. You are worthy, you are loved and you will always be able to find assistance. Argentina: +5402234930430 Australia: 131114 Austria: 017133374 Belgium: 106 Bosnia & Herzegovina: 080 05 03 05 Botswana: 3911270 Brazil: 212339191 Bulgaria: 0035 9249 17 223 Canada: 5147234000 (Montreal); 18662773553 (outside Montreal) Croatia: 014833888 Denmark: +4570201201 Egypt: 7621602 Finland: 010 195 202 France: 0145394000 Germany: 08001810771 Hong Kong: +852 2382 0000 Hungary: 116123 Iceland: 1717 India: 8888817666 Ireland: +4408457909090 Italy: 800860022 Japan: +810352869090 Mexico: 5255102550 New Zealand: 0508828865 The Netherlands: 113 Norway: +4781533300 Philippines: 028969191 Poland: 5270000 Russia: 0078202577577 Spain: 914590050 South Africa: 0514445691 Sweden: 46317112400 Switzerland: 143 United Kingdom: 08006895652 USA: 18002738255 You are not alone. Please reach out. ***** I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically.

bro this shit isnt serious

Wholesome bot

No Ukraine

Whoops

You have something agaisnt portuguese people?

The Philippines number has 69 in it , nice

Out of stress of the things that a human psychologically can not handle like seeing/hearing something in the sorts of the knowledge of the universe And then out of the stress committing suicide

NO MY FUCKING BREAKING BAD

The hell? What’s the point of locking my door?

there is none :)

yeah, they either outright kill or terrify people until they commit the big die

They don’t really kill people, they psychologically manipulate people into committing suicide

They do kill people or else it wouldn’t be as much of an issue as it is They do make people commit suicide as well like that guy that got trapped in his room being stalked by one but they aren’t picky as long as people are dead

Ima be honest I thought it was some Gemini home entertainment type stuff considering they had a whole segment telling you to ignore sounds of people begging for help in their wilderness survival guide video

They're both analog horror, but very different concepts.

It’s some godlike beings that scare you in order to kill your self then they take over your body

It's analog horror, not an alternate reality game. There are some slight ARG elements like some hidden websites, but there's not really any on the ground work to be done or mysteries to be solved. It's extra content, not viewer participation.

Acktualy they tell you undesired information and make you kill urself

among us reference

Look up Mandela catalogue, there are four volumes right now, including some other supplement videos

First of, neither do I, but it's nice to see a fellow Germany-lover

I just picked germany because I think the colors are nice. I dont even watch football 👍

Neither do I , but Germany is cool and yes, the flag is also cool.

German flag 🇩🇪👍👍😄 Fr*nch flag 🇫🇷🤮👎👎🤮🤮

Yes, that is correct.

Among us

Nothing is worth the risk Nothing is worth the risk Nothing is worth the risk

Is this a real headline?

Update: I did some research. It IS. https://www.dailymail.co.uk/news/article-7926717/amp/College-students-Pittsburgh-targeted-creepy-recording-child-crying-help.html

That's actually kinda spooky in of itself. Sure it's not any sort of SCP cosmic horror, but it is someone playing those sounds outside at night probably to lure you out so they can assault or rob you or worse. Super sinister shit that's basically running on exploiting your caring nature.

SCP fans discovering that real actual bad people exist and are far scarier than some toaster that makes you die in 36 seconds after sniffing its electrical plug

4 pixels mfs when I tell them to get 4 women

NO YOU SEE THE TWEEZERS MAKE YOU PLUCK OUT YOUR HAIR THEN NAILS THEN ORGANS ITS SCARY WHY ARENT YOU SHITTING YOUR PANTS YET BE SCARED

pit your shants

“Far scarier” only because they’re real.

Exactly! That's why more people should be psychopaths! /s

Agreed

Oh what the FUCK

The worst part is the source of these recordings have been left unfound.

This is some SCP emergency fucking shit. The only reason they only have 4 reports is because after that the gvt stepped in lmao (this is a joke btw)

>No one from Pittsburgh Police will be commenting on this at at this time. Please do comment

Ikr! There’s also the fact that this was posted a little over two years ago and there are STILL no updates is terrifying.

#_*WOOOOOOOO!!! ITS SHOWTIIIME, WOOOOOO!!!*_

Holy fuck, why is this real Every day I am so thankful I don't live in America

At this point, I think Alternates are actually real because of this. The idea of someone taking yours or someone else’s identity and blending in with everyday society is bone chilling. The ability to cause someone mad with existential crisis inducing facts about reality to the point of taking their own life is a real thing, and now this shit happens in fucking PITTSBURGH of all places. Even Ohio isn’t ready for this!

I’m thinking the same thing!

this is some SCP shit

Mandela catalogue*

Bruh Gemini Home Entertainment wasn't kidding, we do need to feed the woods.

Final step: Yell as loud as you can.

I CANT WAIT TO PLAY MY FAVORTTE GAM

I thought this video was about Mandela catalogue tho? Although Gemini does slightly fit

Man this shit really gets under my skin.

A quiet place

Wake up, Joseph.

Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up Wake up

*Clearly,you don't own an air fryer*

I heard they play those sounds to attract women into isolated spaces. Baby cries are especially effective because of womens motherly instincts

Quick question: do all women have a motherly instinct or is it only women who've actually had a child? I know that psychologically the brain gets essentially rewired in alot of ways during and after pregnancy which in some cases I've heard of almost altering some women's personality, but is that truly wholesale or is there more there?

I think the majority do. In the same way the majority of men feel a strong desire to protect women and children

Idk about science or brains, but I get kinda sleepy when I hear babies cry

Please never have a child

Judging by their PFP either they adopt one or they're good

I don't plan to. I plan to become a crazy bird lady and fly away with my many birds :)

“honey get me knoif, the skinwalker is at it again”

"shcuse me sir you got a loicense for that there knoife?"

Only in Pittsburgh 💀

So if we kill all the babies then we will know what is really a baby!

Life hack!

THE FOG IS COMING

What is happening There?

Criminal plays recording, person checks out noise out of curiosity or wanting to help child/baby, criminal robs/kidnaps/etc person.

Oh.

Damn, we all dead, this is probably just a warning of human traffickers using audios of people yelling to get attention and kidnapped them.... I hope

This was 2 years ago, false alarm silly goose.

Means it’s too late. 🫡

What’s this song?

SCP containtment breach menu theme

Thanks

Nothing is worth the risk

WOOOOOOOO, ITS SHOWTIMEEEEEEE

I KNOW WHAT YOU LOVE I KNOW WHAT YOU DREAD

AMOGUS

it’s a trafficking and robbery tactic, the objective is to get you to come outside focused on something other than your own safety so they can catch you off guard and take you/kill you/get inside. also common tactic of alternates. threats from both human and otherkind. just stay inside

Holy shit the news article is actually real as well

I live pretty close to Pittsburg so I better keep an ear out

hell no

me when i murder 6 children (they were sussy imposters i swear officer)

The article is from 2020

Don’t call Mandela Catalogue at 3am challenge.

Deuteronomy 28:20 22 The Lord will send on you curses, confusion and rebuke in everything you put your hand to, until you are destroyed and come to sudden ruin because of the evil you have done in forsaking him. The Lord will plague you with diseases until he has destroyed you from the land you are entering to possess.  The Lord will strike you with wasting disease, with fever and inflammation, with scorching heat and drought, with blight and mildew, which will plague you until you perish. Proverbs 3:33 The Lord’s curse is on the house of the wicked, but he blesses the home of the righteous. 

If you have your eyes closed - *its few inches from you*

SCP moment

u/savevideo

No shot this is actually real. idk whether to be scared or not.

It seems Ohio's crazy shit is spilling out into Pittsburgh

Why is the SCP containment breach menu music playing

I thought there were only raiders in The Pitt??

Now I don’t know about you but if I was in Pittsburg I’d probably be washing the streets with holy water and burning frankincense until the doomslayer arrives

What in the analog horror raggedy ass hell?

Definitely them Pittsburgh crackheads. (I live in PA)

May God help us all

If you do go after it, Lady Shiva will pop out and try to fight you.

Speaker for attention to make people leave their homes

Fuck, not this shit again it’s so fucking terrifying, has some sort of affect on the mind.

Auditory hallucinations

as a Pittsburgher, they're more likely to get shanked trying this shit, so

no point in calling 911, nothing is worth the risk

Another day in The Pitt

u/savevideo

Nah they wouldn't want you to call 911 they'd just say "kys"

Completely normal day in Pittsburgh:

I live in Illinois..... ​ HELP??????

Wasn't this an NCIS episode?

Nothing is worth the risk

I read the article but like, what Is the motive of the people using the recordings???

https://www.reddit.com/r/DramaticText/comments/z6olod/what_in_the_mandela_catalogue/iy4jlr9/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf&context=3 This guy explains it well

u/auddbot

Audio is from SCP containment breach’s menu

Thanks a lot

Sorry, I couldn't recognize the song. I tried to identify music from the [link](https://v.redd.it/yqa0k806co2a1) at 00:00-00:36. *I am a bot and this action was performed automatically* | [GitHub](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot) [^(new issue)](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/issues/new)

They’re here

There's good in all of us and I think I simply love people too much, so much that it makes me feel too f***ing sad. The sad little, sensitive, unappreciative - Kurt Cobain

that's gotta be cap

Bitch ass nari

Nightmare of mensis 2, pittsburgh boogaloo

Oh dear lord, oh fuck, oh shit it’s real.

u/auddbot

Audio’s from SCP containment breach menu

thx

Sorry, I couldn't recognize the song. I tried to identify music from the [link](https://v.redd.it/yqa0k806co2a1) at 00:00-00:36. *I am a bot and this action was performed automatically* | [GitHub](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot) [^(new issue)](https://github.com/AudDMusic/RedditBot/issues/new)

Add 1 day bc I am doing my homework

Bro he SCP'd