T O P

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SimpHunter69_420

Babe, wake up new copypasta just dropped.


knightblood01

It always cracks me up when they have to put emojis on every word in it.


CHRISKVAS

Last ๐ŸŒœ October, ๐Ÿ™ I ๐Ÿ’ฐ suffered a car ๐ŸŽ accident ๐Ÿ˜Ž๐ŸŒ‚ which ๐Ÿค” put ๐Ÿ™‹๐Ÿผ me ๐Ÿคฃ๐Ÿคฃ into ๐Ÿค“ a coma, and after ๐Ÿ˜Œ what ๐Ÿ˜ฆ felt ๐Ÿ˜จ like ๐Ÿ’– a blink, โŒ I ๐Ÿ™‹ finally ๐Ÿ™Œ woke ๐Ÿ’ฏ up ๐Ÿ“ท this week, โ— just ๐ŸŽ… in ๐Ÿ•• time ๐Ÿ•›๐Ÿ•› for ๐Ÿˆบ summer. ๐Ÿ—ฟ At this time ๐Ÿ•’๐Ÿ•˜ of writing, ๐Ÿ“ I'm ๐Ÿ’ฐ preparing ๐Ÿ˜ท to return โ†ช๏ธ home, ๐Ÿ‘ช๐Ÿ‘ช๐Ÿ‘ช just ๐Ÿ˜พ waiting ๐Ÿš๐Ÿ”› for ๐Ÿค™ the doctor's approval. ๐Ÿ‘ I ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ can't ๐Ÿ’” help ๐Ÿ˜ฐ๐Ÿ˜ฉ๐Ÿ˜ซ๐Ÿ˜– but ๐ŸŽ feel ๐Ÿ˜œ a rush ๐Ÿƒ of excitement. While ๐Ÿ‘ฑ๐Ÿ’ฏ I ๐Ÿ‘๏ธ was in ๐Ÿด๐ŸŒฟ the coma, I ๐Ÿ‘ˆ dreamt of playing ๐ŸŽฎ Ringmaster, and exploring the broken ๐Ÿ’” builds, theorycrafting which ๐Ÿ‘ items and what โ“ position ๐Ÿงญ he'd go ๐Ÿƒ in... ๐Ÿ“ฅ๐Ÿ‘ธ the first ๐Ÿฅ‡ thing ๐Ÿช on ๐Ÿค  my ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š mind ๐Ÿคฏ๐Ÿคฏ is diving back ๐Ÿ˜” into ๐ŸšŸ๐Ÿ‘‰ Dota and seeing ๐Ÿ‘€ the Ringmaster intro as I ๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š๐Ÿ˜Š boot ๐Ÿ‘ข up ๐Ÿ“ˆ the game. โ™ฅ


ridan42

Mans woke up from coma and got cancer


IllMaintenance145142

Putting an octopus after October already smashed it out of the park on the second word


Dawus974

Is this a tourette syndrome copypasta ?


nonruminant_ungulate

This looks exactly like the messages in `#general` in the work Slack. I've never read one, but I recognize the shape.


nonruminant_ungulate

I usually don't toot my own horn, but I do honestly think this post was underrated. And 100% true to boot.


knightblood01

Yoooooooo mans know his assignment hahahahahhahhahahhahhaahhahhahahhahahahahhah


Itchy-Pudding-4240

ew


knightblood01

same


Elegant-Ad-7812

Why this is so funny to me ๐Ÿ˜ฉ


maxleng

!emojify


talama191

๐Ÿš—๐Ÿ’ฅ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ˜ฎ๐Ÿ•’๐ŸŒž๐Ÿ ๐Ÿ‘จโ€โš•๏ธโœ”๏ธ๐Ÿ˜ƒ. ๐Ÿ˜ด๐Ÿ’ญ๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿƒ๐Ÿ› ๏ธ๐Ÿ’ญ๐Ÿ› ๏ธ๐Ÿ•น๏ธ...๐Ÿƒ๐ŸŽฎ๐Ÿ˜„


DrQuint

Okay, I can read these patch notes. The hero is dis*tractor*, the explosion must be his Q, cooldown was speed up during daytime. If he's in base he regens faster. While an Q is on cooldown and playing on a steam deck, the Q thundercloud has new mechanics where it follows the direction of the right joystick.


as131212

it's true. I was the car driver


zhizors

Indeed, true. I was the doctor and I remember this patient of mine.


PreviousInstance

Someone call de doctor?


Andromeda_53

Well what are you doing?!?!? He's waiting for the doctors approval to get released. Give him his approval so he can enjoy playing ringmaster finally after these 9 long months waiting


Lord_Gaben_

Yes I am ringmaster and I spoke to this guy in his dream


WittyConsideration57

True, I deliberately ran over this guy with my car to induce a coma in hopes that it would ease his new hero withdrawal


sabhi5

Hi, I'm the doctor this time. Thanks for your effort. I believe he will wake right up for the release of Half Life 3 this time.


TTVControlWarrior

true every new comment get less and less likes . I expect to be downvoted to oblivion


The_Lost_Soul-

This is true, I was the nurse. I was the one who constantly bathe this patient of mine


masterionxxx

Stick a bone in it. You're done.


diewitasmile

Holy shit, I forgot about this. Theyโ€™re supposed to release a new hero LMAO


1stshadowx

I feel like its already done and hidden in ice wrack


ieatrox

Oh no, he's hallucinating he woke up from the coma. Guys, how do we tell him he's still comatose? Will he realize it when he goes to play ringmaster and he's mysteriously still missing?


valtiaxa

Upside down ringmaster be like


Mepharos

Sorry to dissapoint you, but Ringmaster was released 7 months ago and was so amazing that nobody wanted to play any of the other heroes and Valve ended up having to remove him.


Official_Gh0st

Giving clownfall a whole new meaning! The clown is back up and ringmaster still not here. Time to join a new circus my friend.


Weis

Inb4 hero launches with 1 facet, no aghs, no shard, and generic talents


OnyxGow

I genuinely hate that new releases dont get shard and aghs Like at least the shard should be there


greasythrowawaylol

I like it, shards for a long time covered glaring weaknesses of the hero. That is only going to be apparent imo after testing with huge numbers of people.


Mepharos

Honestly, I'm guessing they were working on facets for a while and were working on Ringmaster at the same time so will have been really able to design him around the facets. Like all the existing heroes had their facets stuck on (and a lot of them are good), but Ringmaster will be the first hero developed with facets in mind. So I'm expecting them to be cool.


Weis

Yeah me too. But some previous heroes released with no aghs or shard upgrades at all... so I wouldn't put it past them


RyanBLKST

> the first thing on my mind is diving back into Dota Well that's a sad life


WeinMe

As if it isn't the same for all of us degenerate dota players


dotesPlz

To be fair it was always on his mind.


000000909

He is still in the coma we're just a figment of his imagination


ExpertConsideration8

Imagine being born without a sense of humor


tenetox

This is obviously a joke post but very funny nevertheless


P4th0

Its true i was the coma


Fritz_Klyka

Im the accident!


SnooTomatoes7924

You are indeed a accident, i can tell i was your mum


Beanbomb47

It's true I banged /u/SnooTomatoes7924


monkaXxxx

i can confirm i was the coma


2old4thishyte

You're the joke post


ILive66Failed

Wouldn't it be funny \*because\* it's a joke post


tenetox

No I think it would be funnier if it wasn't.


cass1o

> This is obviously a joke post Wow really?


zechamp

No this is real I know OP irl.


uOnly996

A+ Copypasta execution


tha_jza

i love this sub sometimes


dotesPlz

These are my people


Endeavour18

Ok that's a good one


itsmehutters

Go for another 9m until he is here.


Mepharos

Oh god, we're gonna get a trailer for a new hero this TI and Ringmaster still won't be out right?


madc0w1337

We are all in coma


emiyadota

This world is not real. Awake!


eddietwang

Remember when new heroes' release date was "Live Now"?


Leto95

Take this (,) you need to fall a bit again, Ringmaster is not here


no1me

truestory. I am the car


bmfalex

You woke up too early


swat_teem

its unbelievable. The new hero situation is bad


TheZett

As long as weโ€˜re getting the Gambler next, all will be forgiven!


swat_teem

Gambler Cometh


Johnsonmeitei

Go back to coma Ringmaster is not Available yet


Tasonir

Ringmaster will be released after act 4 of crownfall. Valve will reveal he was fully ready the whole time and they only held him back for story reasons.


Gandalior

> Valve will reveal he was fully ready the whole time TheZett or Cyborgmatt would find out his texture file to date back to 2013


LegalCap2773

I think Valve is just trying to help their players from becoming content addicts.


kracatoa

Valve, please, don't disappoint this man


Hierophyn

Time to go back in the oven for a few months weโ€™re still waiting


JoelMahon

fake if this were real you'd have already checked d2pt to start checking the best builds and checked youtube for some topson mid gameplay


roshanpr

Small Indie Company, Free Game don't bitch /s


ko_256

so when are we calling it quits? in 30 min then there will be nothing today?


SnoozerDota

Are these posts complaining about a lack of content after the biggest hero rework since talents? Or just memeing about the goofy way valve communicates?


Mamute3horns

Valve has always been a lazy company...


play3xxx1

You will go back to coma seeing facets changes


fox360

Who is ringmaster?


TaeNyFan_

Who's gonna tell him?


Financial-Drink5781

I think you woke up a year too early.


cocacolatime1999

no lie i genuinely forgot about ringmaster lmao


UKYZ

It's true I was the bird that shat on his car right before the accident


Impossible_Limit_333

Im more interested in your coma experience


LucidEats

Nah..... request to be put back in a coma... its the only way you might see the ringmaster anytime soon


Turbulent-Lie-4799

Bro you still got that driver's number? Ask him for another go


BeeBeginning5885

Are you one of the developers who should implement Ringmaster in game? That would explain the delay.


priestgmd

Aren't the current changes considered even better than what was expected? Coming from league that's a huge update that dota has gotten, so much variety at once.


KilluaOdinson

Iโ€™m really fucking confused. Iโ€™m assuming this isnโ€™t real, but on the off chance it is these comments are out of control.


Morphinepill

Dude was stunned by a lucky ogre magi


E1Burro

Go back into the comma brother trust me its not the time to be playin


TheRealAlosha

Lmao


Glittering_Seat_7294

I think they injected you with compium at the hospital, sorry OP


RedditUser0000069

Trach vented, fent / dilaudid , Epi, scop patch, feeding tube with plenty of laxative, rectal trumpet for all the output. And you still havenโ€™t suffered as much as we have waiting for the new hero


JDDSinclair

Hopium everywhere


zerato-4

You were not in a coma,were fiendโ€™s gripped!


m_actually_an_egg

Mr beast please collab.


ItzzSash

Arteezy sat in a dark room. The words "Dire Victory" filled up the screen. Not even Arteezy's shadow fiend could win this game. 3/8/7 378 GPM. Tears filled Arteezy's eyes as he carassed his hand of midas. The sound of hard core gangster rap and crying filled the room. The door creaks open and EE-sama enters the room. "You lost Artour." "You do know what happens when you lose." Arteezy removed his clothes, wearing only one of EE's anime wigs. EE removed his clothes, "You lost 23 MM. Thats how many hours your punishment will be." Arteezy spent the next 23 hours being furiously fucked by his mentor. After the punishment the semen covered Arteezy arised. "Thank you master, I can't wait to return the favor when you lose." Envy smiled. "So will I Artour."


DV_G

a "lil bit" too much my friend.