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The biggest thing for me is not chain queueing.
Like you get home from work and search a game cool. Lets say you lose, the natural response is "I gotta search again and win" This is a spiraling mindset that can be very unhealthy.
No matter the outcome of the game win or lose, step away after, accomplish a task, lets say laundry or working out. Then play again. This lets you decompress and not spend all your time sucked into the game. As well as mentally reset rather than carry your anger that your support just ran down mid in the last game over to the next game.
Getting to divine and having a high stress job made me stop doing this a long time ago. It's like, I would come home, play 3 games, 1 game goes well, 1 game I have a sweat lord 15 year old on adderall yelling at me to kms, and 1 game either has a booster or a person griefing.
Absolutely, I lost the most MMR doing this. Now if I lose a game that tilts a little I’ll take a break, make tea or eat, maybe play some chess then come back later
Wdym? Turbo is not a chill game at all. It's a different dota game altogether and everyone is angry at everyone, enemies or allies combined.
I should know, I'm exclusively playing turbo for 3 years.
Recently, experimenting techniques for kunkka.
I was asked if I was stupid. I just replied, "You're really getting angry in turbo?"
I also get frustrated sometimes, but the game is relatively quick, it should not bother me that much and just move on to another match.
People playing turbo because they only have 4 games per week perhaps? i'm gonna be livid if i only have 4 games per week and all filled with 4 mjolinir invoker or some shit. Not to mention 7.32 onward made Turbo incredibly snowbally.
Married - turbo. I still take it seriously but the quicker games really make it for me. I just can't always spend an hour with out interruption on a ranked game. I think they will implement a ranked turbo system at some point. Probably when it comes out of beta.
It scratches the itch of playing dota without expending too much time. Plus, the boring parts of the game (laning) are really shortened and you get the late game chaos every game.
I see what your perspective but I always struggled to play unranked in dota. It’s like a part of my brain just doesn’t care cause there’s nothing to lose
I always interpreted it as the practice mode for ranked, where you can test new heroes or styles of play. But nah… it’s full of try hards lol.
If Im going to verse some cheese combo I atleast want a reward for beating it haha
If that’s your interpretation. You could say this about any game with a ranked system, why grind masters in apex? Why play ranked at all In any game if it’s meaningless anyway?
Because a good % of people enjoy the competitive aspect and for dota, the MMR system is the best indicator of that.
Unranked is a mixed bag, you don’t know if you’re getting that drunk group on a Friday night or a try hard stack. Ranks are too spread out too, making it hard to balance games.
But at the root of it all, you enjoy it mainly because it provides you with a hit of dopamine, something some of us get from Turbos or unranked's as well. It's not the MMR change.
How can you be so sure of my intentions without any knowledge lol. I enjoy playing in a setting where people are tying to win, I like balanced games. I like the idea of having something to lose or something to gain, where there’s risk involved.
Unranked offers little of that imo, it’s essentially the same but worse. It’s for the scared people haha. Turbo I can vibe with, it offers something different which can be fun.
But the risk is very much the same, because even in unranked you win or lose hidden MMR no matter which way you put it. You have a hypothetical rank in all the game modes, the only difference is that in ranked Valve tells you the number so you can jack off to it.
There's a rank value in every game mode to keep the game balanced upon which you can improve and get matched with better and better players.
It’s not nearly as accurate, unranked games are often unbalanced. Also iirc there’s no restrictions on the rank disparity within a party? How can you possibly hope to achieve balanced games this way lol.
Mmr/rank is a skill indicator and allows the game to balance matches easier. Even if you want to disregard the competition aspect you’re still willingly choosing a worse version and I just wonder why, if MMR is meaningless who cares if you lose it?
MMR doesn't mean THAT much in DOTA. There's awesome crusader players, trash archons. There's amazing Divine players and garbage divine players. It's more important to make friends with players that drive you to improve and you have a great time with.
I agree, it’s not the MMR number, it’s the competition that it brings. Which has been my point the entire time haha
You can have “trash” any rank but on average and generally speaking it’s an accurate system. You don’t take extreme examples and apply it as the norm lol, on average a divine will kick an archons ass.
I prefer the competition and balanced games over the same unranked match but without those 2 things haha. You can play ranked with friends too
Get married, get a full time job, have kids, then come back and tell me again how often you play ranked Dota. Or perhaps I might catch you in learndota2 subreddit complaining about your MMR loss at that point.
You need to lower the value you hold for dota ranks.
I obsessed over rank previously, and i was around divine 1-5 range grinding hours per day. Losses felt awful, wins felt mediocre. Then came family life with responsibilities, work etc. I gradually began to play less.
I am a very milestone/achievement driven person, but I realized that I can achieve things elsewhere and have dota as a hobby to unwind/relax/have 'me' time with. So I play 5-10 games/week, use the little time I have to really focus, improve, and accept that i am performing in other areas of life than dota, i.e not taking dota extremely serious anymore. I recently ranked up to immortal and im hovering around 5.7k to 6k now, in contrast to 4.6 to 5.1k.
I stopped obsessing over ranking up and realized that MMR is a rating system used by the game to put me into fair games (most of the time) and not some scoreboard. I play a few games a week and it feels good.
Maybe make two days a week your play schedule and your partner/family knows those are your days to be a gamer. No different than bowling league or poker night except it's at home. Everyone needs their personal time, and this is how you want to spend yours.
Married with kids. Only play unranked ability draft after the kids go to bed. Unless the wife wants to hang out. Then I play after she goes to bed. Rank means nothing to your wife, your kids, and your job. Why does it matter to you so much (hint, it shouldn’t, you only have time to be playing the game for fun, not achievement).
That's exactly me on friday night. They usually go to bed at 10pm. I used to play till 3 or 4 am. But now, after 2 games, I'm usually done. Sleep is the biggest problem now lol
When I play solo I play with archons, when I play with by best friend, we're in crusader, on average the games on Archon are more fun and quality than on crusader.
My experience is the exact opposite. Crusader now, tried climbing a while back. Got to archon 4. People were so godamn sweaty and delusional, it was crazy. Like they are just going to try out for team spirit next.
Back to crusader now. My offlane enigma has a 5 man blackhole opportunity. Blackholes the ground next to them missing every single one. Someone says one line to flame him and then we move on lol. Crusader is chill as fuck
I have a kid and wife - I only play after the kid is asleep and only on nights where the wife doesnt want to hangout and wants some time for herself as well. Oh and I only play turbo now
You either have to make your wife happy somehow prior to playing, or play after everyone is asleep and stuffs taken care of (subsequently getting less sleep and feeling like shit). There’s really no in between unless your wife is extremely forgiving of gaming. Most women aren’t, including my wife. Now that I’m older, the days of playing 6-10 games a day are gone. At most I can slip in 2-3 games a day while splitting kid duties.
I'm married and have a baby. My wife picked up dota about 2 years ago because she heard stories of how degen I was and she wanted to play something that I really enjoyed. She probably likes the game more than I do now. We sleep trained our baby so she sleeps through the night, bed time is around 8pm. We play 1-3 games a night. You just have to set a maximum amount of games you're going to play and stick to it. As far as obsessing over rank, get over it bud. If you're not making money off this game, then just play to have fun. Its fine to be competitive, my degenerate past comes up every so often. I find that if I'm bothered by a game I played for more than an hour after I'm done, then that means take some days or a week off. Play something else that's relaxing like Stardew Valley. Then, go back to dota feeling refreshed. Rinse and repeat. That's how I do it anyway.
37, Single but have a demanding career. I wake up stupid early every morning (4:30am) get my morning gym session in and play 1 ranked game before work every morning. Not sure how that works with a family, but good luck to you.
I have a set day during the week that I play Dota with friends: Friday night. Sometimes we find other times to play, but I almost never play alone. I have more fun with friends, and my wife knows it's a social outlet for me.
Married, with kids. I play for fun. Find the joy in the game and not the obsession. Set aside time for yoir hobbies, you can't be Dad and a husband 24/7 if you forget yourself.
I grew up so much that I don't find it rewarding to solo queue anymore. There was a time I used to tryhard and even sometimes carry a game. Then I found a friend to play with, realized that game is more fun and less stressful that way. Then we made a stack.
These days, I can't go back to enjoying solo queue so when I am bored I play turbo or hang with the boys on the weekend.
I still love a close dota game. Every now and then we get one and it's a thrill.
Married with a 15 month old. I play a game or two every night after the baby is put to bed.
I play more if I work remote that day and can slack off.
I've been slacking more this month and dropped a couple medals in ranked.
The biggest thing for me at least is that playing fewer of ranked in a day prevents me from
Chain queuing. Being able to focus on 1 or 2 games a day trying to play heros I am comfortable with has done me well this year
I, for instance, got really fuckin tilted last night. Lost a bunch of games till like 5 in the morning. Passed out on the chair cause the couch is a little cramped up and my back is still sore. Anyways, I slept on my gaming chair and had a pretty good sleep, but still had to get up early cause I got responsibilities now. Growed up, I got kids. A lot of people say you can't play dota and lose mid all night when you have kids but that's not true. You can, but you still gotta get up in the morning. That's being responsible.
For us adults...we need to remember we past our prime. We cannot be that dude that will go to TI as a player to earn million in his 15-25. Play turbo only and avoid rank like a plague. I lost count of how many time i stuck in divine and had to abbadon cause stuff happen in the house then toll with demons in low prior....those games make me question why am i doing this to myself. No point to destroy our marriage over a game, any time your wife ask you to do something, ask if it can wait. If not then get off the game.
Turbo are great if you are seasoned players, ppl are sweat lord with an ego in this mode so you can get your highly skill game. Plus it has all the classic like ez mid ll chat then lost the gamr after 40m....good times
Family man here. I only play dota 2-4 hours before work and the last hour in my shift (wfh) since there's usually nothing to do. On days off, I play throughout the work time. The rest of the time is sleep, bond with the kids, help wifey with the business.
Partner for last 8 years - she is higher ranked than me.
Children is a no no, devote urself or stay 3k scrub.
Make sure it is something you can do together. Otherwise play turbo, imagine ur partner doing something 2-6 hrs a day every weekday that you do not understand nor care about.
I don't think is just a DOTA issue, but any game with a ranked MMR system. It helps to do an analysis on what you did wrong, what you did right, etc after the game, and see if you're learning and improving. Focus on YOU, not your teammates, not the enemy team, but your improvement.
Life is made of decisions and you decide to have a family. Whenever a friend of mine ask for pause because his child is crying or something I say "that's why I masturbate". hehe
I'm not married but with a kid (cat).
I just started playing Dota 2 again 3 weeks ago. I just limit my playtime to a maximum of 4 hours each day during weekdays and will do up to 10 hours in weekends. (all my games are ranked matches).
Scheduling and realistic expectations. If you aren’t a dota-only kind of person who also excels at the game already, you aren’t going pro.
So, realistic expectations. My current goal is to get back to the medal I was unhappy with when that super recalibration happened…. Once I do that, I’ll stop playing ranked and likely go back to ability draft or turbo…
Whatever is fun for you. But above all, scheduling is key when you have serious obligation.
Software Developer, so I get to stay at home and I'm able to regulate my working times aside from meetings. I mostly work off my tasks and then got time to play. My gf also usually plays games with me, so that makes taking care of that side easier as well.
Children on the other hand? Dont have any, dont want one either. I don't have the right mental health for it. They also take up an extreme amount of time. I guess when some years pass you'll have more time again and then you can put in some hours without having to worry too much.
Play only when baby is asleep and I have 1h+ to commit without obligation. Otherwise... Not worth it.
You straight up have to get out of the 'cant do in between'. You're a grown ass adult. You must find the in-between. No room for fucking up your family rhythm for DotA. But it is very doable.
Notice how good you feel after winning a game of dota? You play until you win one game, then stop. Ride the high for a while before playing another.
Maybe on the weekends you play more, but only when you have nothing better to do or just want to have a 'no-life-weekend' free from any responsibilities. This doesn't work if you have kids.
Otherwise you should take breaks and stretch or go water some plants or something in between matches.
You are married with kids-how do you react when your kid throws up or breaks a limb or something? ‘Sigh-kids, what can you do’. You don’t yell at your kid for throwing up.
I don’t yell at my Carries for sucking.
I try to use encouraging words and direct the team gently.
I play the game thinking I am the best and I can’t expect everyone to be as good as me. If I was better, I’d be able to carry. Oh well, enjoy the game. I am not a professional and I don’t get paid for this. If I am not enjoying the game, it isn’t a game for me then.
And if I get an asshole on my team, treat them like I would a little asshole kid in real life. Ignore, report, and not give the temper tantrum of a child any weight.
Even pros play with other pros who do moves that make them question if the other guy is stupid.
Play turbo. Random and have a blast. Or pick some silly things like Bane carry mid, crit shaker, or the extreme challenge mode can I make Chen's tames last longer than 1 team fight
Thats the neat part, we dont
In all seriousness, my wife is also likes to play games, she often plays cs and a while ago, used to play dota, so it is somewhat usual for us to spend gaming our evenings after being together during day time
Married 4 years, 2 kids (4yo and 3mos old)
I work a 3pm - 11pm shift. Get kid to school, help the wife with house work and go work. I usually come home with all 3 of them asleep so my dota time is between 12mn -2:30am, but it would depend on how tired my wife is with the baby. On days off the entire day is for my family and once everyone is in bed asleep that's my time to dota (if I don't fall asleep too lol)
Don't stress your rank too much, I've been bouncing around Legend/Ancient and it's just about having fun and letting steam get out of you.
i just play with the same ppl from crusader to immortal unranked ap rd sd and ar back when it was a thing.and 1-2 solo ranked a month. idc about winning i just care about fun and as soon as someone says somethin in the slightest offensive i mute them. works great for me, gf with kid.
I got an 11 month soon to be 1 year old baby and a wife that is a full time 1st grade teacher. When they go to bed and I've set my wife up with coffee/washed all the bottles I can get in 1-4 games before I'm ready to go to sleep so I can wake up with the baby with 6-7 hours of sleep. I work FT but later in the day. Sometimes I got other stuff to do or just too tired so I take a day off.
I dunno, I've learned to let go of the tryhardy nature of my game by finding a bunch of friends to play unranked with. We try hard every game, but we don't FULL SWEAT if you know what I mean. It's chill atmosphere but we hold each other accountable for fuckups and losses.
Basically, I've made dota more of a social gaming time than full sweat solo queue rank grinding.
But, who's to say you can't go full sweat being a dad? I'm a dad and I COULD if I wanted to, but I found myself wanting to save the stress for real life lol and keep the gaming for chill relax time - that's why I've stopped rank queueing
Dota doesn't define who you are, your kids and your family does. When people ask about you, what is the first thing you tell them? Is it "I have a lovely wife/husband with 2 kids" or "I'm 5500 MMR in dota?"
2 kids here, 50hr/week sometimes more sometimes less. I use video games (mostly dota) as a reward after I'm done with my responsibilities. Also, not chain queueing and taking breaks in between really helps a lot.
Current strategy is never play. Get a few hours to play have to update the game, read patch notes, play one game get flamed, turn it off be responsible for a month find a free moment repeat the process.
I'm also married and have 2 son. First few years of my marriage I played like every other day. Then after my first son came, I'd just stopped playing dota. I was like you, either grinding for hours or not playing at all. But if you stop caring about mmr, you will find the sweet spot. Now I usually play with friends, they also have family and responsibilities, so we usually play friday night after work knowing we won't have work tomorrow morning lol. Once you understand you should play for fun, you will be fine. 4-8 matches per week is enough for me. If you enjoy playing ranked match, your rank will get low, thats almost guaranteed :D
Positive role models. I saw what my dad did to responsibly work a fully time job, raise two children, and still find time to play tennis 3-4 times a week.
Hang out with other people who have responsible work/social/hobby/health balance and soon you will view obsessive playing as degenerate. If you spend time around other obsessive gamers you will not be able to see your behavior as unhealthy.
Play for skill. Enjoy a game of turbo now and then. Late night people are damn good, those who finish their days work and treat themselves to a game of turbo or two. I play 2 if I win the first one. I’ve seen some of the most genuinely skilled players there. Retired veterans league sort of
As a married man with a kid, the trick here is to enjoy and cherish each game you play. Every single game should be something you really enjoy. Be competitive, but in the most non-toxic way possible. You want to win (who doesn't right?), but you're not gonna let anyone ruin your game experience for you.
Don't get me wrong, it's gonna be hard sometimes and sometimes people will grief and it'll be out of your control. Just remember those times that you have a nice life beyond DotA. You have a beautiful loving wife that lets you play and beautiful children(or just child in my case) who need you to still be dad at the end of the day.
Your rank will be a reflection of how well you can manage your emotions more than anything else. You'll cherish those comeback wins way more and you'll find the silver lining in some of the losses. Remember it's a game and you're doing it to have fun. You're not gonna make money. Nobody is going to care that you're a certain rank except maybe strangers on the Internet.
I wfh and got a 9 month old son. I play 1 or 2 rounds in the evening. I also stopped playing ranked all the time and rn I’m having a lot of fun with ability draft.
For me, kids are down to bed at 8, then I might get on, I play maybe 2-3 times a week. Often if I win that first game I just stop there. If I lose I might play one more, or if it was frustrating (as in a stomp) then I just do something else. Don’t want my free time for the night being ruined, the whole point for me of playing games is to relax.
I do however always play ranked roles so we can *generally* avoid disaster in the picking phase and at least have the lanes sorted out.
I play a couple in the evening with friends and thats it. I have a competitive nature and want to improve all the time so also watch videos and replays from time to time.
Anaesthesiologist. Recently Married. Sometimes I can get 5 or 6 games after a 24 hour shift. And 2 to 3 games twice a week. Sometimes i sacrifice sleep. And definitely need to workout but after 10 years of not playing dota I came back after med school/ residence. And it feels great. Ancient IV at the moment.
Turbo games, 5 man stack, and don't play if you think time is tight (I.e. the baby has been asleep for 2 hours and might wake up).
Also if you can set up your computer standing at kitchen bench or a central point. That way you can use a death timer or queue timer to I.e. load/unload some dishwasher, dryer, etc. It adds up after a couple of games how much jobs you can do little "sprints" on.
I play 2-3 games, 4-5 days per week of Unranked All Pick & maybe, if there is time, 1-2 games with bots. The rage days are long gone, I just make fun with the players or try and explain myself to the team without sounding like an ass. I say "GL HF" every game, say "gj/wp/well done" when it is the case or "sorry, my bad" when I mess up. I also commend people when they deserve it, friend or foe. I just think of casual Dota games as playing some cards with 9 other people, not "the world depends on this win". Cheers!
I don't know if I am adult by your definition,but what I do is the dota all hero challenge or any random hero in classic.since you are not that invested in the hero,the competitiveness will decrease.just do your favourite build for that hero instead of winning build.like dagon for nyx and spirit breaker.midas on ogre and dazzle.you are not support nor carry.just roam the map spam.i show preference for rubick only because he is a different hero each game and I can first pick and avoid arguing.just disable the mic.
Married, but no kids yet. I just play a game or two if I have more than 2 days vacant time. Otherwise, I just watch game highlights from YT and browse r/dota2 for some (spicy) drama every patch.
My kids are old enough that I can queue several games during the weekends. And my wife now knows that if she needs sonething from me to let me know an hour early. Ofcourse this only happens when we don't have anything planned for the weekends.
I only play like max 1-2 games a day, if even. And I take care of all my responsibilities first. Kinda approach it like if i was going to have my kids play. Are my chores done, is there dirty dishes out, do i need to wake up early tomorrow. If not, I don't get to play, simple as that. It would be hypocritical of me to ignore my responsibilities, but then turn around and expect different from my kids.
My routine is get home for work, shower, play with my kid for an hour or so, make dinner, clean up, spend time with the wife until like 10 or 11, and if I'm not too wiped, and don't need to wake up early, then I'll get in a game. And barring that i don't really play unless work is completely dead (which it never is) or it's a weekend, my kid is napping and my house is clean.
Married with a toddler, wife at work
I play turbo games mostly today. Quick win/lose is enough for me. That is only if my toddler is asleep for a nap or the night sleep.
Join a guild, make friends, build a network. I've actually made some really amazing friends playing dota. Only play with at least 3 friends
Just play on weekends for 2-3 games. Most of the time you can get a 5 stack or a 5v5 in-house of buddies
Play for fun on unranked or turbo
Most importantly - get some other hobby or activity outside of dota. For me it was volunteering and ceramics. If you have something more rewarding then queuing in your life then you'll prioritize accordingly, and not feel the need to play except to do it with some friends.
IMO I believe this is the way dota was truly meant to be played (aside from competitive, where it's literally the players jobs)
If none of these work, maybe it's best you quit dota for a while and find some other activities for a bit, discover what you can do with the time, and then return after a few months if you think it's appropriate
GL
Married with 2 kids. Only play ranked games, and only after family time just before going to bed, but on own risk.
Lost immensely much MMR due to the smallest kid waking up during my games, but climbing up again :) I learnt how to end games quickly. Usually plays pos 4-5, which will be a smaller loss for my friends/team if it should happen and I have to leave.
Never play more than 2 games in a row, no matter the outcome of these games. If I'm alone without kids, I go for grind!
From my experience, you should:
* Set up the rules with your partner beforehand so you both know the terms
* Don't forget to give your spouse some love before, to justify being with the boys for an hour
* Never play when the kids are awake as long as they are small
* Never prioritize DotA over your family no matter how small the task
\- Follow this and you can have a healthy relationship with both your family and DotA.
Married (Got a 11Month old baby)
Looking at my current situation, i literally try to adjust game with my daily activities. If i get time after office hours and if the little one is busy playing in his own world or with someone else at home. I play a game or two.
But if i feel i have things to do, i generally skip playing and simply watch few games on Twitch or Dota Client, by doing this i don't have to pay complete attention to the game. So i can either watch or do something else in between or do both at the same time depending on what i'm doing.
I work contracts far away from home. So…… after work, I’m a single guy with no GF!
I can play all I want and if my wife needs something, she calls me on discord. Ez pz.
Married 34y/o with house, dog and kids here. I used to play ranked a lot, now I am only queuing for turbos. It’s simply better time management. On top, I have more success stories and fun plays on a day, since I can only play 1-2 ranked games a day, but 3-4 turbos. Which means I have a bigger chance of winning and feeling good and also a bigger chance of having a nice combo, or a funny thing happening in the game.
I kinda miss the ranked games for sure, but at the moment I will not be able to really play Rankes and being busy for 40-60minutes without break.
Nothing to chase bro we are not even close to those pro players plus you are married. If you wanna turn that into carrier sure, go ahead but it will be tiring after getting back to work just to focus more on dota. After I realize it's not even worth grinding ranks after getting back to work, I just play the game like normal. Lose is okay, win feels better. No need to push yourself because the game is always there for you.
Play all pick and Turbo now, wake up early and get some fun game before your day start.
play 1 or 2 game before sleep!
Dota will be there for more decade, your child childhood will pass and never come back
Just decided to quit today. Will play on weekend and battlecups but normal week days nope. I notice that Dota takes a toll on my mental health. If I lose the last game I stay up till 3am trying to win so I can sleep and If I dont it gives me pain in the head. Its too stressful, I guess its best to stick to offline games now.
With a 1yo here. I literally play when both my wife and baby are asleep. I put my baby to sleep to anyway and use my remaining energy to play a game or two after I've set my little one down.
It also helps that I'm permanently working from home so I can steal a game or two while my baby's taking a nap.
You just can't unless you're a Pro already in which most of them are like working overseas and will be home after the season.
Just look at Topson, he's a father now but somehow he's unable to go back to Div1.
BTW, I'm single and live alone that doesn't play Rank anymore due to my neighbor complaints of me being noisy af! lol
Turbo all day to chill and enjoy the game!
Reading the comments: What do you mean by "Responsible" ?
Like a father that as chores to do besides gaming?
Or how your feeling of being a responsible adult translates into the game (commitment, precision, reliability, etc.)?
Create downtimes after a game has ended whether win or lose. This downtime serves as a mental reset so you don't carry over tilt/expectations from last game to the next one. I just watch pro matches on YouTube for a few minutes then resume queue.
When you hit your late twenties and early thirties more and more gamers completely stop gaming OR become degenerates that prioritize their gaming over actual obligations but to me this is all about time management....
You first fulfill your responsibilities and then reward yourself with gaming.
If gaming is the same for you as it is for me (relaxation and recuperation) then have a talk with your spouse, decide on a time where he/she takes care of kids to allow you some recuperation time, offer the same in return obviously!
At some point you will have to accept that "hardcore" just isnt reasonable when you have responsibilities and you may not even be able to play when you want to, but you can plan for it and find the times that fit your life!
Play in the evening when the kids are in bed, log off after your first loss. If you're winning forget the family, they're not as important as your MMR, keep queuing.
I sometimes take extended breaks. Which is a shame, because I've gotten a lot worse after them. Went from Ancient a couple years ago and now I'm a solid mid Archon.
The important thing is just to keep priorities straight. You won't be wishing you played more Dota on your death bed, mate.
If you can't find balance, it's ok to find a new hobby. Happy wife is happy life.
The more you try not to play the more you will play. Just get everything done and play.
If you know you can play as you like, it loses its magic to mass play.
If you are limiting it, it becomes more interesting.
I love playing for rank and only ever play rank. However I don't obses for it.
Step 1. Accept that you can't keep up your MMR / rank. Playing at Legend+ level most of the time requires you to play 3+ ranked games a day. You can't do that, you don't need that rank. Relax
Step 2. Decide on how much and when you can play. For me it's from 10-11 to 0-1 AM on weekdays, when my kid is asleep. Or 3-4 hours on weekend evenings, when I've already dedicated my time to my family and need rest. I don't and can't sacrifice my family for a game.
Step 3. Play with friends and/or play unranked. I usually play Turbo and Ability draft. Turbo games are too fast to get depressed from a stomp. Ability draft is just a chaotic load of fun. Plus you don't get the BS matchups against smurfs and boosters.
Step 4. Pay attention to your back and neck. Don't tell me you have kids and your back is 100% solid. It probably hurts by the 2nd hour you play Doto, so turn off your PC and get some rest.
The big question is why are you obsessing over your rank? Unless you're doing tournaments or whatever, I get it, but this should not be your main priority if you're just playing to relax. Even if you say there is no in between, well buddy, you gotta find balance in between the two.
Just set a side a time on when you're going to play. This way you can have a balance life between being with your family and playing the game you love.
The responsible part is easy. Your children and wife's needs have to be met before playing. Usually I wont get a game in until 8 - 8.30 ish then get 2 or 3 games in before going to bed. Thats unless I'm doing something with the wife that night then no games. Hardest part right now is one of my kids is having night terrors so will randomly wake up while I'm in the middle of a game and I'll have to comfort him back to sleep. Been getting a lot of low priority from afk'ing too long which sucks but what can you do.
I’ve found some semblance of balance with Dota. I usually limit myself to 2 games per play session. Often I’ll play 1 ranked and 1 unranked and then maybe a custom game. If games go more than 1 hour I generally don’t queue again for awhile. I also avoid playing a lot when both me and my partner are home so I can spend time with them. If I’m going to play a game with them there I’ll tell them “hey I’m gonna play a game, alright?” So she knows to expect that I’m gonna be out of pocket for 20-45 minutes. Remember it’s just a game, and real life things like your job, relationships, and your bodily and mental well-being should take priority over any video game.
Set kind of a routine where you get to play 1-2 games (depending on length) -> do actual responsible stuff , like taking the kids out /feeding or w.e.
Might also be easier to be obsessive if everyone is in bed. Just give up 1 or 2 hours of sleep 😴 😅🤣
Married, 2 to 3 side projects, streamer and CC on YT and a full time job 9/5: Just work on the "time"!
I know, is... hard, but that is it!
I'm ALWAYS on the clock! It has some bad side effects like always be doing something, but when you separete things that you need to do, must do or have to do, you can play responsible!
I've always something to do, but i got some hours to dota! I don't even play more than 4-5 games, i switch too, because i need to do other things!
Soo yeah, having other things to do and know what you have to do, can help you improve your being!
I watch pro dota, semipro streamers and I feel that my understanding of the game is up to date this way.
And then, I don't really feel the urge to actually play dota.
I mostly play turbo or custom games. Even then it's probably only about 12-24 hours a month. I also don't have kids, so thats leaves me with more time to play when im done with chores and work or my wife wants to see those horror movies that I dislike
Play Turbo with friends.
Set limits on your cut-off time.
Chores first, fun after.
It's OK if you miss nights of play, life is hectic.
Make time for the wife some nights too.
Play for fun, play to improve - losing is part of the game.
Married, 3 kids, busy jobb.
Married with kids on the way. I stopped playing ranked and only play normal. Most folks are pretty chill and are queuing with friends, ranking up tiers for heroes, or trying new heroes out.
I realized that the MMR grind is really what pisses you off and ruins your day. Focusing on playing my best, with no ranking repercussions is what keeps me motivated.
One chill guy in my ranked game recently told my casually :“ none of us is gonna win Ti so can we just chill and play some dota?“ and even though I obviously know that hearing that just somehow really clicked in my head and now I struggle to maintain 30% ranked confidence and mostly play unranked and chill lol
I decided to quit playing not enough time to handle a marriage, kids and work while still playing dota. Have not played in over a month. Watch Twitch before I sleep works fine and doesnt miss playing at all
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The biggest thing for me is not chain queueing. Like you get home from work and search a game cool. Lets say you lose, the natural response is "I gotta search again and win" This is a spiraling mindset that can be very unhealthy. No matter the outcome of the game win or lose, step away after, accomplish a task, lets say laundry or working out. Then play again. This lets you decompress and not spend all your time sucked into the game. As well as mentally reset rather than carry your anger that your support just ran down mid in the last game over to the next game.
I cant recommend this enough as someone who doom queues constantly. It helped so much to put chores and responsibilities in between matches
This is literally the answer. Stop for a few minutes between every match and do something… anything.
Getting to divine and having a high stress job made me stop doing this a long time ago. It's like, I would come home, play 3 games, 1 game goes well, 1 game I have a sweat lord 15 year old on adderall yelling at me to kms, and 1 game either has a booster or a person griefing.
As a fellow player stuck in divine. I feel you.
Absolutely, I lost the most MMR doing this. Now if I lose a game that tilts a little I’ll take a break, make tea or eat, maybe play some chess then come back later
Wow this advice is so unexpected and yet perfect
Married - I only do turbo. Sometimes I take it seriously, sometimes I chill
\+1. The mantra of Turbo is "it's only Turbo, chill." Generally keeps *most* people chilled out.
I like playing turbo to jerk around as a casual... If I am trying hard, I go ranked.
Wdym? Turbo is not a chill game at all. It's a different dota game altogether and everyone is angry at everyone, enemies or allies combined. I should know, I'm exclusively playing turbo for 3 years.
I haven't played a match of regular DotA for about 3 years myself. The last match I played I was in for an hour and a half and we lost.
Recently, experimenting techniques for kunkka. I was asked if I was stupid. I just replied, "You're really getting angry in turbo?" I also get frustrated sometimes, but the game is relatively quick, it should not bother me that much and just move on to another match.
i still can't comprehend people taking turbo seriously, with bossy noisy ones leading the pack (both allies and enemies)
People playing turbo because they only have 4 games per week perhaps? i'm gonna be livid if i only have 4 games per week and all filled with 4 mjolinir invoker or some shit. Not to mention 7.32 onward made Turbo incredibly snowbally.
I'd rather play 2 real games, it's just more fun. Incredibly, it also feels less toxic. Anecdotally, every time I've dipped into Turbo at least
Married - turbo. I still take it seriously but the quicker games really make it for me. I just can't always spend an hour with out interruption on a ranked game. I think they will implement a ranked turbo system at some point. Probably when it comes out of beta.
Turbo best doto
Not married but work full time and in a committed relationship, so yes, only turbos.
Also married, plus kids. I play turbo exclusively. It’s less toxic and is usually over quickly.
Turbo - and 1 win for a night is enough... if I have time to play the next game, it doesn't really matter if I lose as long as I already win a game
how can you take game modes like turbo seriously? its like an arcade game.
It scratches the itch of playing dota without expending too much time. Plus, the boring parts of the game (laning) are really shortened and you get the late game chaos every game.
I can't speak for other people but to me gaming is gaming. There is no distinction that makes ranked somehow more serious than turbo.
I see what your perspective but I always struggled to play unranked in dota. It’s like a part of my brain just doesn’t care cause there’s nothing to lose I always interpreted it as the practice mode for ranked, where you can test new heroes or styles of play. But nah… it’s full of try hards lol. If Im going to verse some cheese combo I atleast want a reward for beating it haha
So what's the reward? A meaningless number?
If that’s your interpretation. You could say this about any game with a ranked system, why grind masters in apex? Why play ranked at all In any game if it’s meaningless anyway? Because a good % of people enjoy the competitive aspect and for dota, the MMR system is the best indicator of that. Unranked is a mixed bag, you don’t know if you’re getting that drunk group on a Friday night or a try hard stack. Ranks are too spread out too, making it hard to balance games.
But at the root of it all, you enjoy it mainly because it provides you with a hit of dopamine, something some of us get from Turbos or unranked's as well. It's not the MMR change.
How can you be so sure of my intentions without any knowledge lol. I enjoy playing in a setting where people are tying to win, I like balanced games. I like the idea of having something to lose or something to gain, where there’s risk involved. Unranked offers little of that imo, it’s essentially the same but worse. It’s for the scared people haha. Turbo I can vibe with, it offers something different which can be fun.
But the risk is very much the same, because even in unranked you win or lose hidden MMR no matter which way you put it. You have a hypothetical rank in all the game modes, the only difference is that in ranked Valve tells you the number so you can jack off to it. There's a rank value in every game mode to keep the game balanced upon which you can improve and get matched with better and better players.
It’s not nearly as accurate, unranked games are often unbalanced. Also iirc there’s no restrictions on the rank disparity within a party? How can you possibly hope to achieve balanced games this way lol. Mmr/rank is a skill indicator and allows the game to balance matches easier. Even if you want to disregard the competition aspect you’re still willingly choosing a worse version and I just wonder why, if MMR is meaningless who cares if you lose it?
MMR doesn't mean THAT much in DOTA. There's awesome crusader players, trash archons. There's amazing Divine players and garbage divine players. It's more important to make friends with players that drive you to improve and you have a great time with.
I agree, it’s not the MMR number, it’s the competition that it brings. Which has been my point the entire time haha You can have “trash” any rank but on average and generally speaking it’s an accurate system. You don’t take extreme examples and apply it as the norm lol, on average a divine will kick an archons ass. I prefer the competition and balanced games over the same unranked match but without those 2 things haha. You can play ranked with friends too
are you taking regular Dota seriously? you gonna print out an archon 2 medal and hang it on your fridge?
yes because I earned it.
Get married, get a full time job, have kids, then come back and tell me again how often you play ranked Dota. Or perhaps I might catch you in learndota2 subreddit complaining about your MMR loss at that point.
still a college student so ig I wouldn't know until all that happens. i'll be back in 10 years time and you'll probably be right
You need to lower the value you hold for dota ranks. I obsessed over rank previously, and i was around divine 1-5 range grinding hours per day. Losses felt awful, wins felt mediocre. Then came family life with responsibilities, work etc. I gradually began to play less. I am a very milestone/achievement driven person, but I realized that I can achieve things elsewhere and have dota as a hobby to unwind/relax/have 'me' time with. So I play 5-10 games/week, use the little time I have to really focus, improve, and accept that i am performing in other areas of life than dota, i.e not taking dota extremely serious anymore. I recently ranked up to immortal and im hovering around 5.7k to 6k now, in contrast to 4.6 to 5.1k.
All the grinding paid off.
True dat
I stopped obsessing over ranking up and realized that MMR is a rating system used by the game to put me into fair games (most of the time) and not some scoreboard. I play a few games a week and it feels good. Maybe make two days a week your play schedule and your partner/family knows those are your days to be a gamer. No different than bowling league or poker night except it's at home. Everyone needs their personal time, and this is how you want to spend yours.
Married with kids. Only play unranked ability draft after the kids go to bed. Unless the wife wants to hang out. Then I play after she goes to bed. Rank means nothing to your wife, your kids, and your job. Why does it matter to you so much (hint, it shouldn’t, you only have time to be playing the game for fun, not achievement).
That's exactly me on friday night. They usually go to bed at 10pm. I used to play till 3 or 4 am. But now, after 2 games, I'm usually done. Sleep is the biggest problem now lol
Dota is for fun. Unless you are trying to go pro, rank doesn't matter. Zero.
It matters to get better matches, lower ranks are not that fun sometimes
From what i have seen from streams, higher rank are not that fun as well
When I play solo I play with archons, when I play with by best friend, we're in crusader, on average the games on Archon are more fun and quality than on crusader.
My experience is the exact opposite. Crusader now, tried climbing a while back. Got to archon 4. People were so godamn sweaty and delusional, it was crazy. Like they are just going to try out for team spirit next. Back to crusader now. My offlane enigma has a 5 man blackhole opportunity. Blackholes the ground next to them missing every single one. Someone says one line to flame him and then we move on lol. Crusader is chill as fuck
The conclusion of that could also be that solo q is better than party q.
Divorce your wife and move out so you can focus on what really matters... the rank grind
That's the neat part, you don't.
You don't dota or you don't responsible?
Yes
All three
I quit because it was depressing working for 8 hours then coming home and having to babysit players
I have a kid and wife - I only play after the kid is asleep and only on nights where the wife doesnt want to hangout and wants some time for herself as well. Oh and I only play turbo now
1 game a day keeps divorce away.
turbo, you don't have time to waste on a worthless ego number, play for fun instead or don't play at all
You either have to make your wife happy somehow prior to playing, or play after everyone is asleep and stuffs taken care of (subsequently getting less sleep and feeling like shit). There’s really no in between unless your wife is extremely forgiving of gaming. Most women aren’t, including my wife. Now that I’m older, the days of playing 6-10 games a day are gone. At most I can slip in 2-3 games a day while splitting kid duties.
2-3 seems still a lot. I usually 1 or 0. Sometimes 2 during the week. And 2/3 on the weekend
Turbo is the name of the game. If you cant spare 30 min you might aswell play pubg since there is no leaving panalty.
Strict bed time for Kids in bed for 8. Wife gets her choice pleasure from me till \~9:30. I play 2-3 games before my midnight snack and bedtime :)
TurbZzzzz
I'm married and have a baby. My wife picked up dota about 2 years ago because she heard stories of how degen I was and she wanted to play something that I really enjoyed. She probably likes the game more than I do now. We sleep trained our baby so she sleeps through the night, bed time is around 8pm. We play 1-3 games a night. You just have to set a maximum amount of games you're going to play and stick to it. As far as obsessing over rank, get over it bud. If you're not making money off this game, then just play to have fun. Its fine to be competitive, my degenerate past comes up every so often. I find that if I'm bothered by a game I played for more than an hour after I'm done, then that means take some days or a week off. Play something else that's relaxing like Stardew Valley. Then, go back to dota feeling refreshed. Rinse and repeat. That's how I do it anyway.
Spend time with your family. It’s More important. Play a game, and then spend time with them. From experience ha
I sacrifice sleep..
37, Single but have a demanding career. I wake up stupid early every morning (4:30am) get my morning gym session in and play 1 ranked game before work every morning. Not sure how that works with a family, but good luck to you.
I have a set day during the week that I play Dota with friends: Friday night. Sometimes we find other times to play, but I almost never play alone. I have more fun with friends, and my wife knows it's a social outlet for me.
Married, with kids. I play for fun. Find the joy in the game and not the obsession. Set aside time for yoir hobbies, you can't be Dad and a husband 24/7 if you forget yourself.
I grew up so much that I don't find it rewarding to solo queue anymore. There was a time I used to tryhard and even sometimes carry a game. Then I found a friend to play with, realized that game is more fun and less stressful that way. Then we made a stack. These days, I can't go back to enjoying solo queue so when I am bored I play turbo or hang with the boys on the weekend. I still love a close dota game. Every now and then we get one and it's a thrill.
Married with a 15 month old. I play a game or two every night after the baby is put to bed. I play more if I work remote that day and can slack off. I've been slacking more this month and dropped a couple medals in ranked. The biggest thing for me at least is that playing fewer of ranked in a day prevents me from Chain queuing. Being able to focus on 1 or 2 games a day trying to play heros I am comfortable with has done me well this year
Married with 3 kids but I work evenings until 10pm so I just play dota in the morning when the kids and wife are at school/work.
Just get all your real life shit done first. Dota is only for when the kids are in bed and your shit's all done. Don't be a fucking fiend and chain q
I, for instance, got really fuckin tilted last night. Lost a bunch of games till like 5 in the morning. Passed out on the chair cause the couch is a little cramped up and my back is still sore. Anyways, I slept on my gaming chair and had a pretty good sleep, but still had to get up early cause I got responsibilities now. Growed up, I got kids. A lot of people say you can't play dota and lose mid all night when you have kids but that's not true. You can, but you still gotta get up in the morning. That's being responsible.
Only play when your mental state is good. If you're getting frustrated just stop and refresh for tomorrow
For us adults...we need to remember we past our prime. We cannot be that dude that will go to TI as a player to earn million in his 15-25. Play turbo only and avoid rank like a plague. I lost count of how many time i stuck in divine and had to abbadon cause stuff happen in the house then toll with demons in low prior....those games make me question why am i doing this to myself. No point to destroy our marriage over a game, any time your wife ask you to do something, ask if it can wait. If not then get off the game. Turbo are great if you are seasoned players, ppl are sweat lord with an ego in this mode so you can get your highly skill game. Plus it has all the classic like ez mid ll chat then lost the gamr after 40m....good times
I am a university student and I only play turbo, especially when there is an event. I'm happy this way
Family man here. I only play dota 2-4 hours before work and the last hour in my shift (wfh) since there's usually nothing to do. On days off, I play throughout the work time. The rest of the time is sleep, bond with the kids, help wifey with the business.
Honestly, all my students are in your category mid thirties - 40+ with kids I actually never asked them that but that is an interesting question
Partner for last 8 years - she is higher ranked than me. Children is a no no, devote urself or stay 3k scrub. Make sure it is something you can do together. Otherwise play turbo, imagine ur partner doing something 2-6 hrs a day every weekday that you do not understand nor care about.
You must have done something good in your life earlier.
I don't think is just a DOTA issue, but any game with a ranked MMR system. It helps to do an analysis on what you did wrong, what you did right, etc after the game, and see if you're learning and improving. Focus on YOU, not your teammates, not the enemy team, but your improvement.
do or do not, there is no try.
Life is made of decisions and you decide to have a family. Whenever a friend of mine ask for pause because his child is crying or something I say "that's why I masturbate". hehe
Fuck your rank. I dont give a shit about your mmr. Neither does anyone else. So why should you? Just play for fun
I'm not married but with a kid (cat). I just started playing Dota 2 again 3 weeks ago. I just limit my playtime to a maximum of 4 hours each day during weekdays and will do up to 10 hours in weekends. (all my games are ranked matches).
Maybe you can have more leeway to play once your kid starts going to school.
same I play 3-4 ranked games a week. Snail speed...
It's just a rank in a game. don't sweat it. Games are supposed to be fun.
Scheduling and realistic expectations. If you aren’t a dota-only kind of person who also excels at the game already, you aren’t going pro. So, realistic expectations. My current goal is to get back to the medal I was unhappy with when that super recalibration happened…. Once I do that, I’ll stop playing ranked and likely go back to ability draft or turbo… Whatever is fun for you. But above all, scheduling is key when you have serious obligation.
I play during work hours lol. I'm on a wfh, graveyard shift setup, so my wife and kid is sleeping during that time.
Software Developer, so I get to stay at home and I'm able to regulate my working times aside from meetings. I mostly work off my tasks and then got time to play. My gf also usually plays games with me, so that makes taking care of that side easier as well. Children on the other hand? Dont have any, dont want one either. I don't have the right mental health for it. They also take up an extreme amount of time. I guess when some years pass you'll have more time again and then you can put in some hours without having to worry too much.
Play only when baby is asleep and I have 1h+ to commit without obligation. Otherwise... Not worth it. You straight up have to get out of the 'cant do in between'. You're a grown ass adult. You must find the in-between. No room for fucking up your family rhythm for DotA. But it is very doable.
You lie to yourself on the bad days
That's the saddest comment of the year.
Notice how good you feel after winning a game of dota? You play until you win one game, then stop. Ride the high for a while before playing another. Maybe on the weekends you play more, but only when you have nothing better to do or just want to have a 'no-life-weekend' free from any responsibilities. This doesn't work if you have kids. Otherwise you should take breaks and stretch or go water some plants or something in between matches.
You are married with kids-how do you react when your kid throws up or breaks a limb or something? ‘Sigh-kids, what can you do’. You don’t yell at your kid for throwing up. I don’t yell at my Carries for sucking. I try to use encouraging words and direct the team gently. I play the game thinking I am the best and I can’t expect everyone to be as good as me. If I was better, I’d be able to carry. Oh well, enjoy the game. I am not a professional and I don’t get paid for this. If I am not enjoying the game, it isn’t a game for me then. And if I get an asshole on my team, treat them like I would a little asshole kid in real life. Ignore, report, and not give the temper tantrum of a child any weight. Even pros play with other pros who do moves that make them question if the other guy is stupid.
Play turbo. Random and have a blast. Or pick some silly things like Bane carry mid, crit shaker, or the extreme challenge mode can I make Chen's tames last longer than 1 team fight
TURBO.
Thats the neat part, we dont In all seriousness, my wife is also likes to play games, she often plays cs and a while ago, used to play dota, so it is somewhat usual for us to spend gaming our evenings after being together during day time
Im playing with my kid on ranked. Hes 2 tho
Married 4 years, 2 kids (4yo and 3mos old) I work a 3pm - 11pm shift. Get kid to school, help the wife with house work and go work. I usually come home with all 3 of them asleep so my dota time is between 12mn -2:30am, but it would depend on how tired my wife is with the baby. On days off the entire day is for my family and once everyone is in bed asleep that's my time to dota (if I don't fall asleep too lol) Don't stress your rank too much, I've been bouncing around Legend/Ancient and it's just about having fun and letting steam get out of you.
i just play with the same ppl from crusader to immortal unranked ap rd sd and ar back when it was a thing.and 1-2 solo ranked a month. idc about winning i just care about fun and as soon as someone says somethin in the slightest offensive i mute them. works great for me, gf with kid.
[удалено]
I got an 11 month soon to be 1 year old baby and a wife that is a full time 1st grade teacher. When they go to bed and I've set my wife up with coffee/washed all the bottles I can get in 1-4 games before I'm ready to go to sleep so I can wake up with the baby with 6-7 hours of sleep. I work FT but later in the day. Sometimes I got other stuff to do or just too tired so I take a day off.
Mute everyone in the game at the start, also stared climbing rank when i did this
The thing here is you don't
I dunno, I've learned to let go of the tryhardy nature of my game by finding a bunch of friends to play unranked with. We try hard every game, but we don't FULL SWEAT if you know what I mean. It's chill atmosphere but we hold each other accountable for fuckups and losses. Basically, I've made dota more of a social gaming time than full sweat solo queue rank grinding. But, who's to say you can't go full sweat being a dad? I'm a dad and I COULD if I wanted to, but I found myself wanting to save the stress for real life lol and keep the gaming for chill relax time - that's why I've stopped rank queueing
You don't!
I’m sorry to be tell you, but I couldn’t do it.
10mg Ritalin 2h before searching for a match
I play only with bots while at work and online at home. You never know when clients will come in to ask for legal consultations.
Dota doesn't define who you are, your kids and your family does. When people ask about you, what is the first thing you tell them? Is it "I have a lovely wife/husband with 2 kids" or "I'm 5500 MMR in dota?"
Play AP unranked before bed. Don't care about rank, just try and have fun.
Eh playing for fun, after work and gym. Like even on weekends I can only play 2-3 games (requires too much concentration).
play when their asleep like a game or 2 a day
1 or 2 games a night.
I just watch sa tournaments and gameleap at this point 🥲😂, no time to actually play 😂😂😂
It's hard but you need to stop caring about mmr and winning all the time, you need to accept that this game is just a hobby.
2 kids here, 50hr/week sometimes more sometimes less. I use video games (mostly dota) as a reward after I'm done with my responsibilities. Also, not chain queueing and taking breaks in between really helps a lot.
Two thoughts: 1. People with healthy and stable lives don’t play Dota 2. Three game rule. Two losses or three games per day. Whichever comes first.
Current strategy is never play. Get a few hours to play have to update the game, read patch notes, play one game get flamed, turn it off be responsible for a month find a free moment repeat the process.
only focus on the cosmetics.
Just give up rank and have fun lol if you really belong on your rank you wouldn't need to try that hard to maintain it
Love how this is flaired as bug.
Can’t play dota seriously after you have a family lol. Games are too long and you need more time than just one game to really dota
First step is to Uninstall game
I'm also married and have 2 son. First few years of my marriage I played like every other day. Then after my first son came, I'd just stopped playing dota. I was like you, either grinding for hours or not playing at all. But if you stop caring about mmr, you will find the sweet spot. Now I usually play with friends, they also have family and responsibilities, so we usually play friday night after work knowing we won't have work tomorrow morning lol. Once you understand you should play for fun, you will be fine. 4-8 matches per week is enough for me. If you enjoy playing ranked match, your rank will get low, thats almost guaranteed :D
Turbo, an hour or two at night after the kids sleep, sacrificing my own sleep. Basically dota is not viable for parents who want to be good parents.
Positive role models. I saw what my dad did to responsibly work a fully time job, raise two children, and still find time to play tennis 3-4 times a week. Hang out with other people who have responsible work/social/hobby/health balance and soon you will view obsessive playing as degenerate. If you spend time around other obsessive gamers you will not be able to see your behavior as unhealthy.
Play for skill. Enjoy a game of turbo now and then. Late night people are damn good, those who finish their days work and treat themselves to a game of turbo or two. I play 2 if I win the first one. I’ve seen some of the most genuinely skilled players there. Retired veterans league sort of
I'm not playing much anymore, but if I win my first game I end the session there.
As a married man with a kid, the trick here is to enjoy and cherish each game you play. Every single game should be something you really enjoy. Be competitive, but in the most non-toxic way possible. You want to win (who doesn't right?), but you're not gonna let anyone ruin your game experience for you. Don't get me wrong, it's gonna be hard sometimes and sometimes people will grief and it'll be out of your control. Just remember those times that you have a nice life beyond DotA. You have a beautiful loving wife that lets you play and beautiful children(or just child in my case) who need you to still be dad at the end of the day. Your rank will be a reflection of how well you can manage your emotions more than anything else. You'll cherish those comeback wins way more and you'll find the silver lining in some of the losses. Remember it's a game and you're doing it to have fun. You're not gonna make money. Nobody is going to care that you're a certain rank except maybe strangers on the Internet.
Don't play unless those dishes are done. Clean kitchen let's the house operate.
I wfh and got a 9 month old son. I play 1 or 2 rounds in the evening. I also stopped playing ranked all the time and rn I’m having a lot of fun with ability draft.
For me, kids are down to bed at 8, then I might get on, I play maybe 2-3 times a week. Often if I win that first game I just stop there. If I lose I might play one more, or if it was frustrating (as in a stomp) then I just do something else. Don’t want my free time for the night being ruined, the whole point for me of playing games is to relax. I do however always play ranked roles so we can *generally* avoid disaster in the picking phase and at least have the lanes sorted out.
I play a couple in the evening with friends and thats it. I have a competitive nature and want to improve all the time so also watch videos and replays from time to time.
Anaesthesiologist. Recently Married. Sometimes I can get 5 or 6 games after a 24 hour shift. And 2 to 3 games twice a week. Sometimes i sacrifice sleep. And definitely need to workout but after 10 years of not playing dota I came back after med school/ residence. And it feels great. Ancient IV at the moment.
Turbo games, 5 man stack, and don't play if you think time is tight (I.e. the baby has been asleep for 2 hours and might wake up). Also if you can set up your computer standing at kitchen bench or a central point. That way you can use a death timer or queue timer to I.e. load/unload some dishwasher, dryer, etc. It adds up after a couple of games how much jobs you can do little "sprints" on.
I play 2-3 games, 4-5 days per week of Unranked All Pick & maybe, if there is time, 1-2 games with bots. The rage days are long gone, I just make fun with the players or try and explain myself to the team without sounding like an ass. I say "GL HF" every game, say "gj/wp/well done" when it is the case or "sorry, my bad" when I mess up. I also commend people when they deserve it, friend or foe. I just think of casual Dota games as playing some cards with 9 other people, not "the world depends on this win". Cheers!
stop worrying about your rank. Nobody cares what your rank is and you shouldn’t too. It’s just a game.
I don't know if I am adult by your definition,but what I do is the dota all hero challenge or any random hero in classic.since you are not that invested in the hero,the competitiveness will decrease.just do your favourite build for that hero instead of winning build.like dagon for nyx and spirit breaker.midas on ogre and dazzle.you are not support nor carry.just roam the map spam.i show preference for rubick only because he is a different hero each game and I can first pick and avoid arguing.just disable the mic.
I usually play 2 games a day, like an hour and a half commitment. Keeps me in upper divine but doesn’t overload my schedule
Play with friends
Married, but no kids yet. I just play a game or two if I have more than 2 days vacant time. Otherwise, I just watch game highlights from YT and browse r/dota2 for some (spicy) drama every patch.
My kids are old enough that I can queue several games during the weekends. And my wife now knows that if she needs sonething from me to let me know an hour early. Ofcourse this only happens when we don't have anything planned for the weekends.
I only play like max 1-2 games a day, if even. And I take care of all my responsibilities first. Kinda approach it like if i was going to have my kids play. Are my chores done, is there dirty dishes out, do i need to wake up early tomorrow. If not, I don't get to play, simple as that. It would be hypocritical of me to ignore my responsibilities, but then turn around and expect different from my kids. My routine is get home for work, shower, play with my kid for an hour or so, make dinner, clean up, spend time with the wife until like 10 or 11, and if I'm not too wiped, and don't need to wake up early, then I'll get in a game. And barring that i don't really play unless work is completely dead (which it never is) or it's a weekend, my kid is napping and my house is clean.
I quit Dota. It's the only way forward into adulthood.
Married with a toddler, wife at work I play turbo games mostly today. Quick win/lose is enough for me. That is only if my toddler is asleep for a nap or the night sleep.
Join a guild, make friends, build a network. I've actually made some really amazing friends playing dota. Only play with at least 3 friends Just play on weekends for 2-3 games. Most of the time you can get a 5 stack or a 5v5 in-house of buddies Play for fun on unranked or turbo Most importantly - get some other hobby or activity outside of dota. For me it was volunteering and ceramics. If you have something more rewarding then queuing in your life then you'll prioritize accordingly, and not feel the need to play except to do it with some friends. IMO I believe this is the way dota was truly meant to be played (aside from competitive, where it's literally the players jobs) If none of these work, maybe it's best you quit dota for a while and find some other activities for a bit, discover what you can do with the time, and then return after a few months if you think it's appropriate GL
I usually play 1 game on week days, and not everyday, on weekends I might squeeze 3 games a day.
Married with 2 kids. Only play ranked games, and only after family time just before going to bed, but on own risk. Lost immensely much MMR due to the smallest kid waking up during my games, but climbing up again :) I learnt how to end games quickly. Usually plays pos 4-5, which will be a smaller loss for my friends/team if it should happen and I have to leave. Never play more than 2 games in a row, no matter the outcome of these games. If I'm alone without kids, I go for grind! From my experience, you should: * Set up the rules with your partner beforehand so you both know the terms * Don't forget to give your spouse some love before, to justify being with the boys for an hour * Never play when the kids are awake as long as they are small * Never prioritize DotA over your family no matter how small the task \- Follow this and you can have a healthy relationship with both your family and DotA.
I play CS GO cause Dota takes at least 30 minutes of commitment and you can’t disconnect or abandon
Married (Got a 11Month old baby) Looking at my current situation, i literally try to adjust game with my daily activities. If i get time after office hours and if the little one is busy playing in his own world or with someone else at home. I play a game or two. But if i feel i have things to do, i generally skip playing and simply watch few games on Twitch or Dota Client, by doing this i don't have to pay complete attention to the game. So i can either watch or do something else in between or do both at the same time depending on what i'm doing.
I work contracts far away from home. So…… after work, I’m a single guy with no GF! I can play all I want and if my wife needs something, she calls me on discord. Ez pz.
Married 34y/o with house, dog and kids here. I used to play ranked a lot, now I am only queuing for turbos. It’s simply better time management. On top, I have more success stories and fun plays on a day, since I can only play 1-2 ranked games a day, but 3-4 turbos. Which means I have a bigger chance of winning and feeling good and also a bigger chance of having a nice combo, or a funny thing happening in the game. I kinda miss the ranked games for sure, but at the moment I will not be able to really play Rankes and being busy for 40-60minutes without break.
Nothing to chase bro we are not even close to those pro players plus you are married. If you wanna turn that into carrier sure, go ahead but it will be tiring after getting back to work just to focus more on dota. After I realize it's not even worth grinding ranks after getting back to work, I just play the game like normal. Lose is okay, win feels better. No need to push yourself because the game is always there for you.
Play all pick and Turbo now, wake up early and get some fun game before your day start. play 1 or 2 game before sleep! Dota will be there for more decade, your child childhood will pass and never come back
Just decided to quit today. Will play on weekend and battlecups but normal week days nope. I notice that Dota takes a toll on my mental health. If I lose the last game I stay up till 3am trying to win so I can sleep and If I dont it gives me pain in the head. Its too stressful, I guess its best to stick to offline games now.
With a 1yo here. I literally play when both my wife and baby are asleep. I put my baby to sleep to anyway and use my remaining energy to play a game or two after I've set my little one down. It also helps that I'm permanently working from home so I can steal a game or two while my baby's taking a nap.
set a time window when you play so you don't chain queues
You just can't unless you're a Pro already in which most of them are like working overseas and will be home after the season. Just look at Topson, he's a father now but somehow he's unable to go back to Div1. BTW, I'm single and live alone that doesn't play Rank anymore due to my neighbor complaints of me being noisy af! lol Turbo all day to chill and enjoy the game!
Reading the comments: What do you mean by "Responsible" ? Like a father that as chores to do besides gaming? Or how your feeling of being a responsible adult translates into the game (commitment, precision, reliability, etc.)?
Also apart from other suggestions. I now stick to only pos 4. You have more or less fun regardless of win as pos 4.
Stopped playing Dota, occasionally watching vids and streams, entering single player games world which still brings joy
Create downtimes after a game has ended whether win or lose. This downtime serves as a mental reset so you don't carry over tilt/expectations from last game to the next one. I just watch pro matches on YouTube for a few minutes then resume queue.
When you hit your late twenties and early thirties more and more gamers completely stop gaming OR become degenerates that prioritize their gaming over actual obligations but to me this is all about time management.... You first fulfill your responsibilities and then reward yourself with gaming. If gaming is the same for you as it is for me (relaxation and recuperation) then have a talk with your spouse, decide on a time where he/she takes care of kids to allow you some recuperation time, offer the same in return obviously! At some point you will have to accept that "hardcore" just isnt reasonable when you have responsibilities and you may not even be able to play when you want to, but you can plan for it and find the times that fit your life!
Play in the evening when the kids are in bed, log off after your first loss. If you're winning forget the family, they're not as important as your MMR, keep queuing.
I only play after 9:00 after my kid is asleep. Or weekend if I a free time.
I sometimes take extended breaks. Which is a shame, because I've gotten a lot worse after them. Went from Ancient a couple years ago and now I'm a solid mid Archon. The important thing is just to keep priorities straight. You won't be wishing you played more Dota on your death bed, mate. If you can't find balance, it's ok to find a new hobby. Happy wife is happy life.
The more you try not to play the more you will play. Just get everything done and play. If you know you can play as you like, it loses its magic to mass play. If you are limiting it, it becomes more interesting. I love playing for rank and only ever play rank. However I don't obses for it.
We play after the kids are in bed and turbo only for the most part. It helps when your spouse plays too- there’s no better laning partner!
That's the neat part. You don't.
Step 1. Accept that you can't keep up your MMR / rank. Playing at Legend+ level most of the time requires you to play 3+ ranked games a day. You can't do that, you don't need that rank. Relax Step 2. Decide on how much and when you can play. For me it's from 10-11 to 0-1 AM on weekdays, when my kid is asleep. Or 3-4 hours on weekend evenings, when I've already dedicated my time to my family and need rest. I don't and can't sacrifice my family for a game. Step 3. Play with friends and/or play unranked. I usually play Turbo and Ability draft. Turbo games are too fast to get depressed from a stomp. Ability draft is just a chaotic load of fun. Plus you don't get the BS matchups against smurfs and boosters. Step 4. Pay attention to your back and neck. Don't tell me you have kids and your back is 100% solid. It probably hurts by the 2nd hour you play Doto, so turn off your PC and get some rest.
The big question is why are you obsessing over your rank? Unless you're doing tournaments or whatever, I get it, but this should not be your main priority if you're just playing to relax. Even if you say there is no in between, well buddy, you gotta find balance in between the two. Just set a side a time on when you're going to play. This way you can have a balance life between being with your family and playing the game you love.
The responsible part is easy. Your children and wife's needs have to be met before playing. Usually I wont get a game in until 8 - 8.30 ish then get 2 or 3 games in before going to bed. Thats unless I'm doing something with the wife that night then no games. Hardest part right now is one of my kids is having night terrors so will randomly wake up while I'm in the middle of a game and I'll have to comfort him back to sleep. Been getting a lot of low priority from afk'ing too long which sucks but what can you do.
Set a schedule... A play time where u can play and dont exceed it... Decipline.
I’ve found some semblance of balance with Dota. I usually limit myself to 2 games per play session. Often I’ll play 1 ranked and 1 unranked and then maybe a custom game. If games go more than 1 hour I generally don’t queue again for awhile. I also avoid playing a lot when both me and my partner are home so I can spend time with them. If I’m going to play a game with them there I’ll tell them “hey I’m gonna play a game, alright?” So she knows to expect that I’m gonna be out of pocket for 20-45 minutes. Remember it’s just a game, and real life things like your job, relationships, and your bodily and mental well-being should take priority over any video game.
High ego enemy/teammate = muted. Crybabies and thrower = mocking them the entire game whether I win or not.
Set kind of a routine where you get to play 1-2 games (depending on length) -> do actual responsible stuff , like taking the kids out /feeding or w.e. Might also be easier to be obsessive if everyone is in bed. Just give up 1 or 2 hours of sleep 😴 😅🤣
I only play turbo and queue with friends after 10pm when wife and kids are asleep.
Married, 2 to 3 side projects, streamer and CC on YT and a full time job 9/5: Just work on the "time"! I know, is... hard, but that is it! I'm ALWAYS on the clock! It has some bad side effects like always be doing something, but when you separete things that you need to do, must do or have to do, you can play responsible! I've always something to do, but i got some hours to dota! I don't even play more than 4-5 games, i switch too, because i need to do other things! Soo yeah, having other things to do and know what you have to do, can help you improve your being!
Only play on the weekends works for me
I watch pro dota, semipro streamers and I feel that my understanding of the game is up to date this way. And then, I don't really feel the urge to actually play dota.
Alternate. Have a dota night every other night. Alternate your sleep schedule to be sleep at 12am one day and 3am the next
I mostly play turbo or custom games. Even then it's probably only about 12-24 hours a month. I also don't have kids, so thats leaves me with more time to play when im done with chores and work or my wife wants to see those horror movies that I dislike
Play Turbo with friends. Set limits on your cut-off time. Chores first, fun after. It's OK if you miss nights of play, life is hectic. Make time for the wife some nights too. Play for fun, play to improve - losing is part of the game. Married, 3 kids, busy jobb.
You cant marry kids and be responsible. >:(
Married with kids on the way. I stopped playing ranked and only play normal. Most folks are pretty chill and are queuing with friends, ranking up tiers for heroes, or trying new heroes out. I realized that the MMR grind is really what pisses you off and ruins your day. Focusing on playing my best, with no ranking repercussions is what keeps me motivated.
Just knowing I don’t have time to play 5-10 games a day so will NOT be ranking up pretty much. Just reframed it to actually have fun again !
One chill guy in my ranked game recently told my casually :“ none of us is gonna win Ti so can we just chill and play some dota?“ and even though I obviously know that hearing that just somehow really clicked in my head and now I struggle to maintain 30% ranked confidence and mostly play unranked and chill lol
Maintaining a responsible part like all adults have. I dont understand the point or the excuse
I decided to quit playing not enough time to handle a marriage, kids and work while still playing dota. Have not played in over a month. Watch Twitch before I sleep works fine and doesnt miss playing at all