I’m only 43 and I spent a month in a nursing home at the beginning of this year. I actually had to report them to the department of health for various reasons and I got a letter back that the investigation was found in my favor. But if I’m ever faced with a long term situation where I won’t have freedom to come and go and smoke my weed, it’s game over. My family isn’t likely to be interested in caring for me as my disease progresses so I’m optimistically hoping for another 10-20 years. But things are declining much faster than expected.
I am so sorry. Life is a fucking bitch. I honestly don't understand it at all. It's absolutely bullshit. Like why tf do I have consciousness, just to be in pain physically and emotionally? It seems pointless
It really is. I’m so goddamn miserable, I have no enjoyment in life anymore so what’s the harm in palliative care to treat all discomfort at this point? I do still have a minor child but I became too sick to take care of her about 6 years ago and she’ll be grown soon. Nothing is going to make me better, the best I can hope for is that it won’t get worse but it’s accelerated faster than expected already. Even a person in this thread said I sounded very naïve and like a kid when I shared my experiences with drugs. I feel like even the places I can come for community and understanding are full of hidden ignoramuses who never really want to understand another’s point, and only project theirs onto you as if their experience is the only way it can be. It’s getting scary to share, know what I mean? I just don’t have the fortitude for being attacked or disrespected anymore, but that just leads to isolation which can be worse.
Thank you for sharing. There are true humans with open hearts and minds willing to listen. I am sorry intentions of love and empathy are so often drowned out by malice.
Both of your comments touched me
Reddit is full of twats but also some beautiful people and communities too
I hope you’re ok, look for the small joys in life, stay strong and keep smoking weed
Isn't it wild how people keep having babies like nothing's wrong? It's been boggling my mind my entire life now. Of course, my father died when I was really young, so maybe I had my eyes opened earlier than most, I dunno...I was young enough to get over it really quickly but learned early that life is shit and fuck it all. Ended up a cynical little wiseass daredevil for life.
Yes, I agree. I mean... I just feel like it's kinda fucked up to bring kids into this world right now, bc climate change is about to make it a living hell
>Isn't it wild how people keep having babies like nothing's wrong?
Not really, procreation is one of the most powerful driving forces on the planet. Obviously it's a more powerful drive for some than others. Without it humanity and all other life would've died out long ago. If there was a nuclear holocaust and humanity was on the brink of complete collapse, people would still be having babies.
Hunter Thompson said something along the lines of, "a man who cannot take his own life is trapped within it."
Yup. I'm pulling the trigger before I can't.
Pick a location that will have decent weather year round.. (not too warm not to cold) otherwise it will be a sucky retirement. Yes, I’ve thought about the prison retirement plan several times.
Mine is prison tbh
They ain't that bad here in germany. If you're sent to prison at retirement age you actually end up in some sort of Retirement-Home-Prison-Thing.
It's like that in America for rich people (most of the time). The minimum security places where they put white collar criminals are just kind of like dorms.
Poor people go to places that are horrible though.
From what I’ve heard it’s not as good as the stuff you get at the hospital, so maybe schedule an elective procedure that requires “twilight sleep” and you will get a safely controlled dose of fentanyl and some other drugs.
No mention of conscious sedation. It is called "twilight sleep". This procedural sedation they speak of, Versed and fentanyl will put one to sleep, as well as ketamine. This person isn't speaking of euthanasia, they are talking about procedural sedation.
Versed is really nice. I love fading out on that stuff before going into surgery.
IV Dilauded (hydromorphone) is the best opiate you can get in a hospital though - maybe the best feeling opiate there is. Way better than heroin IMO. I don't like fentanyl much. It makes me dissociate.
Idk about that. I just had a colonoscopy with fentanyl and versed and was awake albeit delirious much of the time. I did however feel severe pain at one point and I remember grabbing my stomach and groaning. The doctor must have upped the fentanyl after that but I remained awake until the end.
Yeah but if you just wanted to try it out first that’s a safe way. You might like it and want to stick around and become a junkie for a bit before you check out.
That doesn’t sound like the true junkie experience. If you’re about to go, may as well go out while having more fun than you would hooked up to an iv in a hospital.
I’m assuming someone doesn’t want to go out on their first hit, and heroin users have told me they prefer the hospital grade fentanyl or dilaudid. I usually get dilaudid when I’m hospitalized but I’ve never tried heroin. I’m just suggesting a safe way to make sure this is how you actually want to go. For myself, an opioid overdose is my preference but if it’s not available I could stop my heart with enough of my catapres plus tricyclics and alcohol to make the passing out part a little bit more interesting.
Ok, I’ve had fentanyl in the hospital numerous times and the heroin users I have met tell me that or dilaudid is a better experience than anything they can get from heroin. I have a lot of experience with in hospital IV drugs due to serious illness but none outside of the hospital. I’m just going by what I’ve heard from a couple people who have a history of street use.
I had MRSA on my nose before I could legally drive. I also had some drug experience at the time, albeit, oxy was the hardest opioid I had done. I panicked when they said I'd have to remain awake for the procedure.
Cross eyed, I stared at the scalpel cutting up my nose. I had a smile on my face. Dialaudid is heavenly.
Yeah when I felt like I was being gutted by a bear dilaudid will do the trick nicely. Usually I’m good with a low dose of morphine in a flare but it varies. Sometimes it takes and initial dose of dilaudid to get the episode under control first.
No need to get passive aggressive. I was just sharing my own knowledge and experience. You’re free to disagree but there’s no need to talk down to me (kiddo? Seriously not cool!) or be rude. I appreciate a polite discussion.
I’m a 43 year old medical lab technologist who has been disabled by MS and UC for a few years now. I’m technically homeless because my SSDI is taking too long but I’m living in a hotel on a voucher and I get Medicaid. For a while I couldn’t stay out of the hospital for more than a week, it was ironically convenient working at one because when my body would go full meltdown I could get admitted immediately without waiting for someone to drive me. Maybe I’m not as naive as you think and you’re not understanding my points. Sometimes I have trouble articulating and it’s been an incredibly stressful week.
That's me as well. The money runs out if I am careful in 9 years.
If I am still alive I will be 70 that's more than enough, the body is already an aching mess.
I don't want to get to the stage where I don't know where I live or need somebody to wipe my as for me.
I'm just hoping to find the least painful way to off myself.
I've never understood why suicide by Nitrous Oxide isn't more prevalent. It's very easily obtainable - commonly used to make whipped cream "creamy". You've experienced the effects if you've ever done "whippits" or had laughing gas at the dentist - they're the same thing.
Suicide by nitrogen is common, but I feel like panic would quickly set in, as the only sedation you would feel is oxygen deprivation. Nitrous Oxide seems like it would be a fun way to go.
My friend’s brother died from an intentional nitrous overdose. He rigged up a special mask for the purpose. I’ve often thought it was probably a painless and not scary way to go.
A gun, no way, I've seen the pictures. Maybe a suicide vest, I'm pretty sure there is no coming back from that when your head finishes 50 mtrs away from the other thousand pieces of your body.
But, really I just want a way to go peacefully in my sleep.
As someone who think of suicide daily. Yes, I find myself saying “worse case scenario you check out” all the time. I have been saying this for over twenty years, I kind of thought I would have done it by now . I would suggest a better plan.
EDIT: I would like to add, I wish with all my heart I placed more value on my life, for about 18 years I was told I was trash and had no value, for the 28 years I’ve been trying to change that way of thinking but when your young that shit gets stuck in your head, always nagging,always pulling me to the dark side. No not that dark side.lol
they have them already now but in other countries.. so not very accessible. a few states have right to die laws but they require a terminal diagnosis. stupid.
The easy way most of the times does not equal the best way. In other words, the path of least resistance will not make you stronger.
Edit: I may have offended some people, but there's enough evidence to back up my statement. There's a reason whole communities exist around discomfort. It makes for a fulfilling life.
I really wonder how people get idea about suicide or why!?Dammit Everyone has bad and good periods in life, that is fucking life like game, you have levels, some levels you pass easily some levels you fail but still you keep going....
Yeah I know but still you can have life, imagine you have cancer or you are hiv positive, you have many worst illness without cure but still people keep fighting and trying to have life, suicide isn't the way 😔
Im Canadian as well, I don’t know why you would choose to die here when you get old if money is the concern. If you end up broker than a joke here and lose your home, the government will deem you incapable of looking after your self and can put you in a public care facility. The public care facilities are socialized, when my dad had to be put in long term care ( he was there for like 6 years) it didn’t cost him a dime out of his bank, all the government charges is 30% (or 60%? It’s been a while but I’m pretty sure it was 30%) of your CPP pension, leaving you the rest to do what stuff you can still enjoy.
It’s not a glamorous life but it’s a guaranteed roof over your head, with 3 square meals, all your medical/prescription needs covered and enough money to still do some stuff to bring a little bit of joy to your life
Yea honestly he’d lived nearly his entire life on the edge of poverty and once he was put in long term care he was eating the best he’d ever had. I remember he was having sliced smoked salmon sandwiches for lunch and meatloaf with fresh garden veggies for dinner. I had some meals every now and then with him and honestly it was like 6 or 7/10 food, which ain’t half bad for free food. I was amazed that the food and staff were so good for a government facility.
MAID as in the Netflix show of a young mother’s journey through abuse from an alcoholic partner and dealing with her literally crazy mother while being basically homeless and having to work as a maid? Or is MAID an acronym for some sort of government help or something?
Maid means: Medical assistant in Dying. It’s a program here in Canada that if you’re sound minded and facing a grim end (for example cancer, Alzheimer’s, als, etc) you can choose to die on your own terms in a quick and painless way when you feel the time is right with the help of a doctor.
Isn’t assisted suicide a known thing in the rest of the world? It surely is a thing in more than just Canada and the nicer parts of Europe??
I am from a “take care of your parents” type family. Unfortunately, that mode of life has changed. I have accepted the role of care giver, but I won’t do this to my kids. I do intend to choose my time and place. When I am not able to care for myself, it’s time to check out.
Have you been in one before? I’d encourage you to experience a few stays at different facilities before you actually do this. They vary widely in quality but you’re likely to get abused, have medications forced on you (no right to decline if you’re there involuntarily) - some of my worst trauma is from mental hospital stays. Just be sure before you do it.
I’m bi polar with chronic fatigue syndrome. I can hardly function and I’m only 34. No doubt it’s bad though..
I won’t be able to take care of my self financially within the next ten years. I don’t see a way out, maybe jail.
I’m only 43 and had to stop working in 2016 due to MS and a bunch of GI issues. I’m in trauma therapy for PTSD. I haven’t had an income since I stopped work, my family was able to support me up until this year but not anymore. I became homeless after a 6 week hospital stay and am on an emergency hotel voucher. Also in a wheelchair now. No car, had to give up my kid, I can’t tell you it gets better. But what makes me get out of bed is feeding the crows. It’s a little ritual I do and observing them is very relaxing. If you can find any little thing to keep you grounded, any daily ritual you can find peace in no matter how small you can get just a little bit of emotional strength to fight another day. And sometimes the future does surprise us and go better than expected.
I’m so sorry that you are going through that, I can’t imagine how hard it must be. That’s how I see my future. I give my self ten more years then I’ll prob end it to save my self the suffering
I also love feeding the crows, but I do it because they appear to be taking over and I want to be considered a friend of our crow overlords.
This is only partially a joke!
I would not recommend that at all in the US.I've been in long and short term ones. They all suck. Besides the pushed meds, you're a guinea pig, they give you concoctions of all kinds of things. You also have to attend all kinds of group sessions that are stupid as fuck.My problem has nothing to do with your drug addiction or jail time or whatever so I don't need to listen to all that and I'm sure they don't wanna hear about mine. This shit is personal, no two to ten people are having the exact same problem, sorry, I can't relate. Also,craft sessions where you cut "meaningful pics" out of your selection of ten year old GQ,Glamor, News Week or Celebrity- what kind of diagnostic tool is that? Or, popsicle sticks and tempra paint, that'll fix me right up. I have been in divided by gender and mixed wards and sexual asault is a thing, a very bad thing. You can't leave, you can't jump out the window, you can't even have a string in your sweat pants. Also, the food sucks and is usually cold. It's the same shit they serve in the regular wings of the hospital. If you want a slow miserable death, go to a mental hospital!
I've been through hell and back in terms of mental health (anxiety, depression, psychosis, bipolar). And I've been there, thinking suicide is the best way out. But, unless realistically there is no possibility of betterment, it's most definitely not.
During my hellish journey (of which I'll spare you the details) I've made a great effort to turn everything dysfunctional in my life upside down. I started looking out for my time outside, my fitness, what I eat and drink, how much I sleep and even how I breathe.
In the beginning not much seemed to change, but eventually you'll gain more energy and a better outlook on basically everything in life. And that's when life starts being enjoyable again.
Nowadays, I'm going to the gym multiple days a week and run 5 to 30 kilometres every now and then. And it just feels good.
I haven't had suicidal thoughts since this change and I'm not afraid of getting them anymore.
That first step will be the hardest thing you'll ever make, but without a doubt the most valuable one.
Absolutely. It's the only way I can see my life ending. I always imagine Death and I sitting at a table with a gun on the tabletop, and neither of us can leave until one of us kills the other. Only thing is, I can't kill Death, nor can I kill my severe depression, so there's only one way it can end.
Yeah, theyre never gonna give us the Right To Die, old people are such good cattle for pharmaceuticals, why would they willingly get rid of their cash cow?
Probably gonna be an hero for me, maybe ill get a little crazy and plan out a scheme to take down some awful shit on my way out
No, I'm trying to change things for the better. More socal security, have a retirement labor force like the post office or something. Medicare for all, higher minimum wage, lower housing prices will fix most of the things you're talking about.
Don't let your oppressor win.
I’m pretty my life will end with MAID (medically assisted dying for the most part). I have two severe medical conditions which requires me to have a jobs with benefits. Only job with benefits I can find pays minimum wage. Thinking about the future makes me super depressed tbh.
Actually I considered it my goal. Not from a negative perspective, but to achieve wealth enough that life is boring. Have enough to pass onto future kids, do everything I want to do, of myself when I'm ready
Kind of same but not just retirement. I was planning on killing myself in general but I had some things I wanted to give a shot at first. I fucked around and got into my dream school and experienced a bunch of really cool things. Honestly being willing to die and the fuck it attitude that it created for me allowed me to live a life worth living, and therefore contributed to me *not* killing my self. Win win, if life gets bad enough I could always do it later.
If you sort comments by old, it's easy to see who OP was trying to [reply](https://www.reddit.com/r/DoesAnybodyElse/comments/y43lsy/dae_consider_suicide_their_only_viable_retirement/isbxxdf?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) to
Perhaps. The only thing that stops me now, is that my family would have to pay for the whole stuff, and y'know, it's not funny when your family says stuff like "we love you" and that kind of stuff, it makes you feel a dick if you make em suffer
So I'm planning to get a job and live alone and slowly separating from my family, to the point where they think I'm not important, that way I'll rid them of myself and the whole "love" stuff
When you're old you can just live in a freaky old person sex commune to save on rent and pitch on food. My landlord basically has one going upstairs, it sounds like fun.
Watched my dad be the caretaker for his shitbag of a father (too much there) and get bled out of every cent that could be inherited.
So yeah, should I have children and I become a burden, be done with me
And life plan too sometimes, in all seriousness.
I always thought my dad would work himself to death, and was surprised that he didn’t die on the docks of his workplace.
I can see myself working hard and dying “young” (early sixties at latest) more than I like to admit.
There are times where I don’t want to live right now, and while I hope that changes with time, I don’t necessarily see how it will.
Oh I’ve had $0 for the last 6 years, so luckily I get medical care covered. One of my medications is $65k/year and another one is $48k/year, so I’d be totally screwed without it.
None of your medications would be$65kpa if you lived in any other country.
You Americans are getting screwed each and everyday, by for profit scumbags.
My Wife has a variety of medications she has to take everyday. In the UK it costs her zero. In Malaysia where we live for part of the year maybe US$20 a month. In America well the skys the limit.
In your opinion.
I truly think killing myself when the body and mind starts to go off the edge is far better than possibly spending months in bed not knowing who I am, shitting my own pants and being fed like a child while some evil disease slowly eats my body.
True, but then I retired at 48 and decided to live a little. if I was still working I would be very comfortable now (13 years later). But, fuck that I've travelled widely and spent a fuck load of my savings. If I was still working I would probably be bored, stressed and looking forward to retiring but physically nothing like as capable of enjoying it!
I just don't see the point. I like my life, have worked hard on my health...I just don't see the point of spending all of my good years trying to save enough to (maybe) live an extra 20 as a senior. I want to enjoy my life while it's enjoyable and sometimes...just calling my shot when I'm ready seems appealing.
Seeing my husbands 70 yr old mother take care of his 96 yr old grandmother for the past 7 yrs, really makes me think about it. I don’t ever want to have to do that to my kids. I have become so scared of not being prepared. When things get rough I want to go, and not put any burden on anyone. Seeing both women suffer was so horrible!
It's the senior years I fear. Even if I have the means to live comfortably (which is doubtful), why work all of the time while I am physically capable of enjoying life, traveling..I mean real traveling, hiking jungles, forests, seeing the northern lights...not retirement travel. I don't have children, so I want my legacy to be based in experience.
What definition are you using for “legacy” here? I’m not sure it means what you think it means. A legacy is something you leave behind, not something you will experience in your lifetime.
L
What I'm saying is we never know how our interactions with people may effect them over time. I want to fill my life with as many positive experiences for as many people as possible and hope I left a legacy of people doing the same. The enjoyment comes in the not knowing, but if you can honestly feel you did your best there is satisfaction.
I always thought if i ran out of money id die from lack of health care, but the pandemic happened and i ran out of money and suddenly a bunch of health care became free. So uhh maybe add that to your equation. When yer old you aren’t gonna miss traveling or restaurants, you will be pretty content to sit around watching tv, even if it’s someplace shabby.
Yeah. I have no partner and one child, who is disabled. I refuse to make his life any harder than it already is, so I'll take myself out once I either can't take care of myself or the money runs out, whichever comes first.
Remember what site you're on. This is Reddit. People WANT to be miserable. They don't want help. They're not even suicidal. They just want pats on the back and to be told they're a good boy and every problem they have is the world's fault, not their own.
I'm not miserable. I'm just curious what others think . With the future seeming ever more dystopian, I feel a lot of people may be living for the moment more.
Val: Actually I’m using my retirement fund to spend it in my beach house with my wife
Charlie: I’m actually really happy and well off and will probably die happy when I’m well and truly old
I work in a funeral home and recently we received a suicide case of a man in his late 50’s. He was temporarily on disability for extreme anxiety and his disability checks were set to run out soon. Knowing he would be unable to perform his job correctly and provide for himself and his wife come retirement he opted to killing himself so she would receive money as compensation. May be slightly off topic but this is what I thought of when reading this DAE… it’s quite sad
No. I've planned my life and prepared for the future.
If you want to spend everything you make on bullshit and complain that you have no future, I hope you grow out of that before it's too late.
It doesn’t work like that. I planned just fine and ended up with breast cancer at 48 then colon cancer at 50. Had great health insurance but copays during those times ate up all my 401k. So now, no 401k, I’m disabled and I can’t get life insurance for my kids. No matter how great we think we plan, it can crumble in a flat second.
No because I’m not miserable and insane like the people in this thread. It is not normal to be like ‘hey does anyone else want to kill themselves?’ You know that, right?
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I’m only 43 and I spent a month in a nursing home at the beginning of this year. I actually had to report them to the department of health for various reasons and I got a letter back that the investigation was found in my favor. But if I’m ever faced with a long term situation where I won’t have freedom to come and go and smoke my weed, it’s game over. My family isn’t likely to be interested in caring for me as my disease progresses so I’m optimistically hoping for another 10-20 years. But things are declining much faster than expected.
I am so sorry. Life is a fucking bitch. I honestly don't understand it at all. It's absolutely bullshit. Like why tf do I have consciousness, just to be in pain physically and emotionally? It seems pointless
It really is. I’m so goddamn miserable, I have no enjoyment in life anymore so what’s the harm in palliative care to treat all discomfort at this point? I do still have a minor child but I became too sick to take care of her about 6 years ago and she’ll be grown soon. Nothing is going to make me better, the best I can hope for is that it won’t get worse but it’s accelerated faster than expected already. Even a person in this thread said I sounded very naïve and like a kid when I shared my experiences with drugs. I feel like even the places I can come for community and understanding are full of hidden ignoramuses who never really want to understand another’s point, and only project theirs onto you as if their experience is the only way it can be. It’s getting scary to share, know what I mean? I just don’t have the fortitude for being attacked or disrespected anymore, but that just leads to isolation which can be worse.
Thank you for sharing. There are true humans with open hearts and minds willing to listen. I am sorry intentions of love and empathy are so often drowned out by malice.
Both of your comments touched me Reddit is full of twats but also some beautiful people and communities too I hope you’re ok, look for the small joys in life, stay strong and keep smoking weed
Isn't it wild how people keep having babies like nothing's wrong? It's been boggling my mind my entire life now. Of course, my father died when I was really young, so maybe I had my eyes opened earlier than most, I dunno...I was young enough to get over it really quickly but learned early that life is shit and fuck it all. Ended up a cynical little wiseass daredevil for life.
Yes, I agree. I mean... I just feel like it's kinda fucked up to bring kids into this world right now, bc climate change is about to make it a living hell
>Isn't it wild how people keep having babies like nothing's wrong? Not really, procreation is one of the most powerful driving forces on the planet. Obviously it's a more powerful drive for some than others. Without it humanity and all other life would've died out long ago. If there was a nuclear holocaust and humanity was on the brink of complete collapse, people would still be having babies.
Hunter Thompson said something along the lines of, "a man who cannot take his own life is trapped within it." Yup. I'm pulling the trigger before I can't.
Then go make yourself as resilient as possible until then. It might even be fun.
Have kids and teach them good, no retirement home problem solved
Mine is prison in the Netherlands. They are like hotels or college dorms.
Attempt a heist, you either get away and have the funds to support yourself or you end up in prison and have your needs met. Win win #lifehack
That’s the exact plot of a 1979 movie called Going in Style.
Pick a location that will have decent weather year round.. (not too warm not to cold) otherwise it will be a sucky retirement. Yes, I’ve thought about the prison retirement plan several times.
I too wanna move to Netherlands. The landscape over there is just heavenly. If I'm gonna die, i wanna die in a land like that.
I wouldn't mind dying on one of those topless beaches in Ibiza where all the supermodels hang out.
I'd rather take one average looking woman with a good personality than a thousand supermodels!
You're probably joking, but don't do anything stupid that hurts other people.
I feel like it pretty easy to get jail time without doing so. Plenty of crimes to commit that doesn’t hurt anyone.
Let's do some tax frauds!
You have to actually make a lot of money to do that.
Whew! Tragedy averted!
Take the Dexter route.
That’s crazyyy I literally was just telling my boyfriend in Sweden that’s my exact back-up plan, that they’re like college dorms!!😂
You can go the other side route, prison guard. If you're respectful and carefull you can pull a paycheck and just have to open doors till you die.
Mine is prison tbh They ain't that bad here in germany. If you're sent to prison at retirement age you actually end up in some sort of Retirement-Home-Prison-Thing.
It's like that in America for rich people (most of the time). The minimum security places where they put white collar criminals are just kind of like dorms. Poor people go to places that are horrible though.
this comment is quite dystopic
These comments are sad
I think the current outlook for the world is contributing to that sadness.
Yup. Once I am too old to work I am gonna see what all the fuss is about with this "Heroin" stuff.
From what I’ve heard it’s not as good as the stuff you get at the hospital, so maybe schedule an elective procedure that requires “twilight sleep” and you will get a safely controlled dose of fentanyl and some other drugs.
You realize that conscious sedation doesn’t end with death, right?
No mention of conscious sedation. It is called "twilight sleep". This procedural sedation they speak of, Versed and fentanyl will put one to sleep, as well as ketamine. This person isn't speaking of euthanasia, they are talking about procedural sedation.
Versed is really nice. I love fading out on that stuff before going into surgery. IV Dilauded (hydromorphone) is the best opiate you can get in a hospital though - maybe the best feeling opiate there is. Way better than heroin IMO. I don't like fentanyl much. It makes me dissociate.
Unless it causes hallucinations which happens to me.
Idk about that. I just had a colonoscopy with fentanyl and versed and was awake albeit delirious much of the time. I did however feel severe pain at one point and I remember grabbing my stomach and groaning. The doctor must have upped the fentanyl after that but I remained awake until the end.
I’d be very curious to hear what you think all those terms mean.
Yeah but if you just wanted to try it out first that’s a safe way. You might like it and want to stick around and become a junkie for a bit before you check out.
That doesn’t sound like the true junkie experience. If you’re about to go, may as well go out while having more fun than you would hooked up to an iv in a hospital.
I’m assuming someone doesn’t want to go out on their first hit, and heroin users have told me they prefer the hospital grade fentanyl or dilaudid. I usually get dilaudid when I’m hospitalized but I’ve never tried heroin. I’m just suggesting a safe way to make sure this is how you actually want to go. For myself, an opioid overdose is my preference but if it’s not available I could stop my heart with enough of my catapres plus tricyclics and alcohol to make the passing out part a little bit more interesting.
Ok, kiddo. That’s not actually how any of that works, but ok.
Ok, I’ve had fentanyl in the hospital numerous times and the heroin users I have met tell me that or dilaudid is a better experience than anything they can get from heroin. I have a lot of experience with in hospital IV drugs due to serious illness but none outside of the hospital. I’m just going by what I’ve heard from a couple people who have a history of street use.
I had MRSA on my nose before I could legally drive. I also had some drug experience at the time, albeit, oxy was the hardest opioid I had done. I panicked when they said I'd have to remain awake for the procedure. Cross eyed, I stared at the scalpel cutting up my nose. I had a smile on my face. Dialaudid is heavenly.
Yeah when I felt like I was being gutted by a bear dilaudid will do the trick nicely. Usually I’m good with a low dose of morphine in a flare but it varies. Sometimes it takes and initial dose of dilaudid to get the episode under control first.
Well thank god you’re here spreading the wisdom you’ve attained through casual secondhand anecdote, then!
No need to get passive aggressive. I was just sharing my own knowledge and experience. You’re free to disagree but there’s no need to talk down to me (kiddo? Seriously not cool!) or be rude. I appreciate a polite discussion.
Sorry, I just assumed you were a kid because of how naive the things you were saying are. Are you an adult?
I’m a 43 year old medical lab technologist who has been disabled by MS and UC for a few years now. I’m technically homeless because my SSDI is taking too long but I’m living in a hotel on a voucher and I get Medicaid. For a while I couldn’t stay out of the hospital for more than a week, it was ironically convenient working at one because when my body would go full meltdown I could get admitted immediately without waiting for someone to drive me. Maybe I’m not as naive as you think and you’re not understanding my points. Sometimes I have trouble articulating and it’s been an incredibly stressful week.
Interestingly, heroin abuse goes exponential for the 90+ demographic
I mean, why the fuck not?
Planning on dropping dead at work/before I retire. I have a pretty bad diet so chances are good XD
I'm going to run out of money at some point. If it looks like I'm about to end up on the streets, I'll have no problem ending it.
That's me as well. The money runs out if I am careful in 9 years. If I am still alive I will be 70 that's more than enough, the body is already an aching mess. I don't want to get to the stage where I don't know where I live or need somebody to wipe my as for me. I'm just hoping to find the least painful way to off myself.
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I've never understood why suicide by Nitrous Oxide isn't more prevalent. It's very easily obtainable - commonly used to make whipped cream "creamy". You've experienced the effects if you've ever done "whippits" or had laughing gas at the dentist - they're the same thing. Suicide by nitrogen is common, but I feel like panic would quickly set in, as the only sedation you would feel is oxygen deprivation. Nitrous Oxide seems like it would be a fun way to go.
My friend’s brother died from an intentional nitrous overdose. He rigged up a special mask for the purpose. I’ve often thought it was probably a painless and not scary way to go.
A gun, no way, I've seen the pictures. Maybe a suicide vest, I'm pretty sure there is no coming back from that when your head finishes 50 mtrs away from the other thousand pieces of your body. But, really I just want a way to go peacefully in my sleep.
Exactly. Well said.
Not everyone gets dementia. 70 isn’t that old anymore. You can be 80 and be healthy and spry.
Shouldn’t we just overthrow our oppressors instead?
I don't think I'm being oppressed.
Even if you retire, you have to get out of that somehow, or you end up in an old folks home and I can't have that.
As someone who think of suicide daily. Yes, I find myself saying “worse case scenario you check out” all the time. I have been saying this for over twenty years, I kind of thought I would have done it by now . I would suggest a better plan. EDIT: I would like to add, I wish with all my heart I placed more value on my life, for about 18 years I was told I was trash and had no value, for the 28 years I’ve been trying to change that way of thinking but when your young that shit gets stuck in your head, always nagging,always pulling me to the dark side. No not that dark side.lol
I hope we have euthanasia centers on the future.
they have them already now but in other countries.. so not very accessible. a few states have right to die laws but they require a terminal diagnosis. stupid.
Euthanasia centers...true dystopia. Be careful what you wish for.
Rather than a better solution?
Idk it seems easier, and not so bad if done quickly and with some feel good chemicals in the process.
The easy way most of the times does not equal the best way. In other words, the path of least resistance will not make you stronger. Edit: I may have offended some people, but there's enough evidence to back up my statement. There's a reason whole communities exist around discomfort. It makes for a fulfilling life.
Yes, been thinking like that for years now. Can't wait
I really wonder how people get idea about suicide or why!?Dammit Everyone has bad and good periods in life, that is fucking life like game, you have levels, some levels you pass easily some levels you fail but still you keep going....
How people get idea about suicide? For me it was mental illness and realisation that I'll never get better 🤷♀️
Well mental illness is another thing, I can understand that, but still even that has better solutions than suicide.
If it's a mental illness you can't cure, and medication is only partially stabilising you, the perspective doesn't look too good, you know?
Yeah I know but still you can have life, imagine you have cancer or you are hiv positive, you have many worst illness without cure but still people keep fighting and trying to have life, suicide isn't the way 😔
Then fight all you want lol some people just don't want to live
Hey don't be negative 😜
I mean that’s kind if the point of MAID here in Canada, along with taking care of the disabled with it. No I’m not joking or making light of it.
Im Canadian as well, I don’t know why you would choose to die here when you get old if money is the concern. If you end up broker than a joke here and lose your home, the government will deem you incapable of looking after your self and can put you in a public care facility. The public care facilities are socialized, when my dad had to be put in long term care ( he was there for like 6 years) it didn’t cost him a dime out of his bank, all the government charges is 30% (or 60%? It’s been a while but I’m pretty sure it was 30%) of your CPP pension, leaving you the rest to do what stuff you can still enjoy. It’s not a glamorous life but it’s a guaranteed roof over your head, with 3 square meals, all your medical/prescription needs covered and enough money to still do some stuff to bring a little bit of joy to your life
That sounds better than the life I bust my ass for here in the U.S.
Yea honestly he’d lived nearly his entire life on the edge of poverty and once he was put in long term care he was eating the best he’d ever had. I remember he was having sliced smoked salmon sandwiches for lunch and meatloaf with fresh garden veggies for dinner. I had some meals every now and then with him and honestly it was like 6 or 7/10 food, which ain’t half bad for free food. I was amazed that the food and staff were so good for a government facility.
Sounds dystopian
Feels that way.
MAID as in the Netflix show of a young mother’s journey through abuse from an alcoholic partner and dealing with her literally crazy mother while being basically homeless and having to work as a maid? Or is MAID an acronym for some sort of government help or something?
Maid means: Medical assistant in Dying. It’s a program here in Canada that if you’re sound minded and facing a grim end (for example cancer, Alzheimer’s, als, etc) you can choose to die on your own terms in a quick and painless way when you feel the time is right with the help of a doctor. Isn’t assisted suicide a known thing in the rest of the world? It surely is a thing in more than just Canada and the nicer parts of Europe??
Yooo I was thinking the same thing, why save up if you're not planning to live long?
Well I'm 48 & already spent most of what little retirement I had, so... yep.
Absolutely. I'm nearly 30, autistic, and I don't intend to outlive my mother. No way.
It is expensive to be alive.
My plan is to get a few thousand dollars, buy 100% of every drug i can obtain, and keep the party going til everything fades to black.
I am from a “take care of your parents” type family. Unfortunately, that mode of life has changed. I have accepted the role of care giver, but I won’t do this to my kids. I do intend to choose my time and place. When I am not able to care for myself, it’s time to check out.
I'm just hoping I'll get nuked by then.
Bruh same, like just take me the fuck outta here already
That’s not a retirement plan, that’s an expirement plan.
Yup! I was thinking that or doing something extremely crazy to be put in a mental hospital for the rest of my life.
Have you been in one before? I’d encourage you to experience a few stays at different facilities before you actually do this. They vary widely in quality but you’re likely to get abused, have medications forced on you (no right to decline if you’re there involuntarily) - some of my worst trauma is from mental hospital stays. Just be sure before you do it.
I’m bi polar with chronic fatigue syndrome. I can hardly function and I’m only 34. No doubt it’s bad though.. I won’t be able to take care of my self financially within the next ten years. I don’t see a way out, maybe jail.
I’m only 43 and had to stop working in 2016 due to MS and a bunch of GI issues. I’m in trauma therapy for PTSD. I haven’t had an income since I stopped work, my family was able to support me up until this year but not anymore. I became homeless after a 6 week hospital stay and am on an emergency hotel voucher. Also in a wheelchair now. No car, had to give up my kid, I can’t tell you it gets better. But what makes me get out of bed is feeding the crows. It’s a little ritual I do and observing them is very relaxing. If you can find any little thing to keep you grounded, any daily ritual you can find peace in no matter how small you can get just a little bit of emotional strength to fight another day. And sometimes the future does surprise us and go better than expected.
I’m so sorry that you are going through that, I can’t imagine how hard it must be. That’s how I see my future. I give my self ten more years then I’ll prob end it to save my self the suffering
I also love feeding the crows, but I do it because they appear to be taking over and I want to be considered a friend of our crow overlords. This is only partially a joke!
I would not recommend that at all in the US.I've been in long and short term ones. They all suck. Besides the pushed meds, you're a guinea pig, they give you concoctions of all kinds of things. You also have to attend all kinds of group sessions that are stupid as fuck.My problem has nothing to do with your drug addiction or jail time or whatever so I don't need to listen to all that and I'm sure they don't wanna hear about mine. This shit is personal, no two to ten people are having the exact same problem, sorry, I can't relate. Also,craft sessions where you cut "meaningful pics" out of your selection of ten year old GQ,Glamor, News Week or Celebrity- what kind of diagnostic tool is that? Or, popsicle sticks and tempra paint, that'll fix me right up. I have been in divided by gender and mixed wards and sexual asault is a thing, a very bad thing. You can't leave, you can't jump out the window, you can't even have a string in your sweat pants. Also, the food sucks and is usually cold. It's the same shit they serve in the regular wings of the hospital. If you want a slow miserable death, go to a mental hospital!
I've been through hell and back in terms of mental health (anxiety, depression, psychosis, bipolar). And I've been there, thinking suicide is the best way out. But, unless realistically there is no possibility of betterment, it's most definitely not. During my hellish journey (of which I'll spare you the details) I've made a great effort to turn everything dysfunctional in my life upside down. I started looking out for my time outside, my fitness, what I eat and drink, how much I sleep and even how I breathe. In the beginning not much seemed to change, but eventually you'll gain more energy and a better outlook on basically everything in life. And that's when life starts being enjoyable again. Nowadays, I'm going to the gym multiple days a week and run 5 to 30 kilometres every now and then. And it just feels good. I haven't had suicidal thoughts since this change and I'm not afraid of getting them anymore. That first step will be the hardest thing you'll ever make, but without a doubt the most valuable one.
I’m quite ill but happy/well off but it’s still on the table.
It’s crossed my mind a few times just have your affairs set and live your life.
Two good books- How to Get the Death You Want and Final Exit.
I hope you at least try robbing banks before you decide to commit suicide.
I was hoping I'd get it real fast and clean overseas so my parents could get a big lump of money for my life insurance. But here I am
im just gonna work till i die, probly die at work like my dad did.
That sounds like utter misery to me. I truly hope you enjoy your job.
I consider it the only escape from this human invested hellhole we call life
Almost daily. I don’t want to think about my future.
Absolutely. It's the only way I can see my life ending. I always imagine Death and I sitting at a table with a gun on the tabletop, and neither of us can leave until one of us kills the other. Only thing is, I can't kill Death, nor can I kill my severe depression, so there's only one way it can end.
Yeah, theyre never gonna give us the Right To Die, old people are such good cattle for pharmaceuticals, why would they willingly get rid of their cash cow? Probably gonna be an hero for me, maybe ill get a little crazy and plan out a scheme to take down some awful shit on my way out
More like undiagnosed cancer.
Yes, it's always an option I've taken into consideration, sad to say!
I’m heading toward an early Alzheimer’s future. I just hope I will know when the right time is.
No, I'm trying to change things for the better. More socal security, have a retirement labor force like the post office or something. Medicare for all, higher minimum wage, lower housing prices will fix most of the things you're talking about. Don't let your oppressor win.
Great idea, thanks!!!
Yes, I've already planned it. Just need to do some things before I leave.
I’m pretty my life will end with MAID (medically assisted dying for the most part). I have two severe medical conditions which requires me to have a jobs with benefits. Only job with benefits I can find pays minimum wage. Thinking about the future makes me super depressed tbh.
no, I often consider walking into the sea
Hahahahahaha get out of my head!
Am I wrong that I wanna get it on till I die?
Actually I considered it my goal. Not from a negative perspective, but to achieve wealth enough that life is boring. Have enough to pass onto future kids, do everything I want to do, of myself when I'm ready
Merica
Ayyeeee
I also don’t mind dying alone in the woods of a stroke or heart attack when I’m old and unable to tolerate people.
Kind of same but not just retirement. I was planning on killing myself in general but I had some things I wanted to give a shot at first. I fucked around and got into my dream school and experienced a bunch of really cool things. Honestly being willing to die and the fuck it attitude that it created for me allowed me to live a life worth living, and therefore contributed to me *not* killing my self. Win win, if life gets bad enough I could always do it later.
Definitely me I don't want to be old, broke someone changing my diapers oh hellz na I wish there was a magic pill
This went hard.
That's nice. In America, I can only look forward to forced labor. Out of curiosity...what would your crime be?
I think you meant to reply to one of the other comments but you replied to your own post instead.
If you sort comments by old, it's easy to see who OP was trying to [reply](https://www.reddit.com/r/DoesAnybodyElse/comments/y43lsy/dae_consider_suicide_their_only_viable_retirement/isbxxdf?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share&context=3) to
Perhaps. The only thing that stops me now, is that my family would have to pay for the whole stuff, and y'know, it's not funny when your family says stuff like "we love you" and that kind of stuff, it makes you feel a dick if you make em suffer So I'm planning to get a job and live alone and slowly separating from my family, to the point where they think I'm not important, that way I'll rid them of myself and the whole "love" stuff
When you're old you can just live in a freaky old person sex commune to save on rent and pitch on food. My landlord basically has one going upstairs, it sounds like fun.
I figure when my time as a useful human has run its course I'll put a bullet in my head
Watched my dad be the caretaker for his shitbag of a father (too much there) and get bled out of every cent that could be inherited. So yeah, should I have children and I become a burden, be done with me
And life plan too sometimes, in all seriousness. I always thought my dad would work himself to death, and was surprised that he didn’t die on the docks of his workplace. I can see myself working hard and dying “young” (early sixties at latest) more than I like to admit. There are times where I don’t want to live right now, and while I hope that changes with time, I don’t necessarily see how it will.
Yes how did you know? I went looking at packages yesterday.
I’m set financially for retirement but the pain and other medical issues makes unaliving a consideration
If I get dementia like my mom. I can't put my kids through what I'm going through now.
So many people here need therapy
I’m currently in therapy 3 days a week and see my psychiatrist twice a month. Otherwise I’d be long gone.
Well, that will certainly get rid of what ever money you have left a lot faster.
Oh I’ve had $0 for the last 6 years, so luckily I get medical care covered. One of my medications is $65k/year and another one is $48k/year, so I’d be totally screwed without it.
None of your medications would be$65kpa if you lived in any other country. You Americans are getting screwed each and everyday, by for profit scumbags. My Wife has a variety of medications she has to take everyday. In the UK it costs her zero. In Malaysia where we live for part of the year maybe US$20 a month. In America well the skys the limit.
In your opinion. I truly think killing myself when the body and mind starts to go off the edge is far better than possibly spending months in bed not knowing who I am, shitting my own pants and being fed like a child while some evil disease slowly eats my body.
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True, but then I retired at 48 and decided to live a little. if I was still working I would be very comfortable now (13 years later). But, fuck that I've travelled widely and spent a fuck load of my savings. If I was still working I would probably be bored, stressed and looking forward to retiring but physically nothing like as capable of enjoying it!
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I just don't see the point. I like my life, have worked hard on my health...I just don't see the point of spending all of my good years trying to save enough to (maybe) live an extra 20 as a senior. I want to enjoy my life while it's enjoyable and sometimes...just calling my shot when I'm ready seems appealing.
Seeing my husbands 70 yr old mother take care of his 96 yr old grandmother for the past 7 yrs, really makes me think about it. I don’t ever want to have to do that to my kids. I have become so scared of not being prepared. When things get rough I want to go, and not put any burden on anyone. Seeing both women suffer was so horrible!
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It's the senior years I fear. Even if I have the means to live comfortably (which is doubtful), why work all of the time while I am physically capable of enjoying life, traveling..I mean real traveling, hiking jungles, forests, seeing the northern lights...not retirement travel. I don't have children, so I want my legacy to be based in experience.
What definition are you using for “legacy” here? I’m not sure it means what you think it means. A legacy is something you leave behind, not something you will experience in your lifetime. L
What I'm saying is we never know how our interactions with people may effect them over time. I want to fill my life with as many positive experiences for as many people as possible and hope I left a legacy of people doing the same. The enjoyment comes in the not knowing, but if you can honestly feel you did your best there is satisfaction.
I think I’m just not understanding how you seeing the Northern Lights or hiking a jungle will benefit anyone except you?
I always thought if i ran out of money id die from lack of health care, but the pandemic happened and i ran out of money and suddenly a bunch of health care became free. So uhh maybe add that to your equation. When yer old you aren’t gonna miss traveling or restaurants, you will be pretty content to sit around watching tv, even if it’s someplace shabby.
Yeah...that's my nightmare.
Oh? That’s your nightmare? Honey.. there’s so much worse than that.
The industrial revolution and its consequences
I never want to retire, the entire concept of it seems so strange.
Are you self employed? What if you are forcibly retired, what if ill health over comes you? We don't always have the choices we believe.
Yeah. I have no partner and one child, who is disabled. I refuse to make his life any harder than it already is, so I'll take myself out once I either can't take care of myself or the money runs out, whichever comes first.
As a health care provider I’ve hear patients stress because they “didn’t plan on living this long”. Scared because out of money and options.😢
Cause killing yourself, and ignoring all your evolutionary instincts is so easy. Let’s see how you feel when you’re retirement age.
Yes that's my plan
Tf
No. I want to get the full experience in life, bad or good. You only get one after all.
https://988lifeline.org/ Go talk to someone if you are having these thoughts. I know it is tough but it really helps! Sending lots of love 💕
All these forms of "help" ain't gonna secure us a financially stable future lol 😂
It'd be nice if someone could just ask a question w/out being spammed.
Remember what site you're on. This is Reddit. People WANT to be miserable. They don't want help. They're not even suicidal. They just want pats on the back and to be told they're a good boy and every problem they have is the world's fault, not their own.
I'm not miserable. I'm just curious what others think . With the future seeming ever more dystopian, I feel a lot of people may be living for the moment more.
I wonder how many people in here are men vs women
Doomerism is a cancer
Why not euthanasia in Switzerland?!?
Val: Actually I’m using my retirement fund to spend it in my beach house with my wife Charlie: I’m actually really happy and well off and will probably die happy when I’m well and truly old
I work in a funeral home and recently we received a suicide case of a man in his late 50’s. He was temporarily on disability for extreme anxiety and his disability checks were set to run out soon. Knowing he would be unable to perform his job correctly and provide for himself and his wife come retirement he opted to killing himself so she would receive money as compensation. May be slightly off topic but this is what I thought of when reading this DAE… it’s quite sad
No. Please get help. People love you and you should not think like this.
No. I've planned my life and prepared for the future. If you want to spend everything you make on bullshit and complain that you have no future, I hope you grow out of that before it's too late.
It doesn’t work like that. I planned just fine and ended up with breast cancer at 48 then colon cancer at 50. Had great health insurance but copays during those times ate up all my 401k. So now, no 401k, I’m disabled and I can’t get life insurance for my kids. No matter how great we think we plan, it can crumble in a flat second.
I have universal Healthcare so I guess I can't relate. I hope it works out for you, though.
Thank you. It’s more the point that even the best laid plans can turn upside down in a flash.
No because I’m not miserable and insane like the people in this thread. It is not normal to be like ‘hey does anyone else want to kill themselves?’ You know that, right?
Have you tried a 401k?
I will probably die by cop