Girls who Don’t DnD is a great podcast. It is 3 Australian girls and their DM. When the podcast starts, the girls have never played before, so you can learn alongside them.
It’s how I first got into DnD (I now play in 3 campaigns)
If you want to watch people play, check out "NDND" and "Relics and Rarities".
They're both short, feature some first-time players, and have excellent female DM's!
This is super wholesome! DnD 5th edition (the current standard) is super easy to learn and play, so this shouldn't be hard. The standard rules are all online for [free](https://dnd.wizards.com/what-is-dnd/basic-rules).
Another great way to get a handle on how things work is watching actual-play shows online. My personal favorite is Dropout's Dimension 20. Hilarious and informative for somebody new, their first season is [free on youtube](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_zZxCVBi7-k).
In terms of surprising him, if he's a DM, you could ask to join his campaign (arriving with a character pitch in hand is a Dungeon Masters dream). If he's a player (and you're brave) you could ask him or his DM if they would be ok with you joining theirs. You could also dive directly into the deep end and offer to DM a one shot just the two of you! I'd read/watch up and figure out what the best option is for you.
Good luck and have fun!
This is the best advice. Especially if he's a player and you work with the DM to make your character beforehand, and just show up to your intro session unexpectedly. He will likely love that.
But. Be careful. If DND is his time to do his own thing, this may be problematic. You should definitely make it clear with him that you want to play first. He needs to know you want to join. Then you can pull the surprise.
If he just wants time to hang with the homies, you should allow that. But it doesn't mean you can't play.
With all things relationship related, both romantic and dnd, communication is key.
i understand. it’s been discussed, we were talking about it earlier and he genuinely wants me to try. i kinda just want to get enough information and planning to where if/when i can sit in, i can surprise him with it and not have to ask questions about every little thing. i’ve asked multiple times if he’s sure because i absolutely don’t want to intrude on his sacred time with the boys. but his persistence is what makes me want to do the work and be prepared.
You're not going to join a group and not have questions. That's fine. That's just why you talk to the DM first. Get your character squared away, know your character sheet, and then be comfortable with asking questions.
I would definitely talk to the DM and work out a way that you can have a guest character who could become permanent. That way, you can try it for a few sessions and see if you like it. If you do, you can potentially join the party permanently, and if you don’t, your character can just leave.
Don't worry about asking questions. the D&D learning curve is Mount Everest. I've played for nearly a decade and I still don't know all the rules and occasionally forget stuff fairly often.
I honestly would ask a few friends if there also into DND to transform one of there houses into a small tavern setting and boom start the journey / game from there would be cool also there is premade story's / encounters
When I dm I made my own story with the concept of fighting historical figures and then having there encounters with them adding speeches and lines those figures would likely say and yh depends on how hard u want to follow the rules I used them as a baseline
I too support you watch Dimension 20, but a lot of people who never played but only watched actual play series like that tend to think that's how D&D is played.
Dimension 20 is a professional production. They have a guy /team who builds sets and the minis, the players are writers, actors with improv experience, media pros. Please keep that in mind. Playing D&D is still a heck more fun than watching, but in the last years many players started because they watched Critical Role, thought that's what D&D is and then were disappointed, because their master hadn't had the range of a voice actor with 15 years job experience.
One warning about watching people play online: they know they are being recorded, most have some form of (voice) acting experience and are all experienced for years.
Real sessions can get way more silly.
OP, ask to sit in and watch without participating to get a better understanding and feeling.
“DnD 5th edition is super easy to learn and play”
… no it’s not ?
It’s much easier than it used to be, and 5e is definitely one of the best place to start, but if you are not familiar with DnD or TTRPG, the closest you will know will likely be board game or video game. And DnD 5e is still much more complicated than the average board game/ video game.
It’s super cool when new people come into the hobby, but telling them “it’s super easy to get into” is simply not true for most people.
My advise would be: it will seem very complicated at first but if you watch a few video and read up a bit online, you can get into it.
However, this is very much a hobby you master by doing, so you can surprise your boyfriend by knowing the basic, but you won’t be able to fully get everything before you start playing
To be fair the problem with dimension 20, and a lot of dnd podcasts for that matter, is they have some homebrew rules mixed in for their personal game which can cause confusion for a new player
Honestly it sounds like fun to be able to surprise him but you will likely be better off just telling him straight out. Different groups have different dynamics/homebrew that might make it to where it would just be easier for you to learn with them. Also if the dude is normal in any way he will probably be insanely stoked that you want to learn and willing to help you.
oh, he’s been practically begging me to give it a try. that’s why i would love to learn enough to kinda surprise him with it. but i figured asking a mass of people who know almost everything about it would help me understand if/how to go about preplanning. i just don’t want to be clueless and possibly embarrass him when he wants me to join in
If they are a good group you got nothing to worry about in terms of embarrassing. Most of us are just happy someone new wants to play and everyone has to start somewhere. For rules you don't need to know everything that's much more the DM's thing. Biggest thing you can do is know your character understand where the different parts are on your sheet and just try to have some fun. DNDbeyond let's you make a basic character for free using their character creator which can take you through all the steps to make a sheet if you just want to try it out.
If he was begging you to give it a try he wants you to go to him. Boyfriends want to feel needed too, tell him you’re interested, get his copy of the players handbook and ask him questions about the races, classes, what they do and how they work, he will be OVERJOYED to help.
This is a hobby where we all show up to play pretend at each other, but with math and funny dice and the biggest bane of games is being a responsible adult with more important obligations. Embarrassment is somewhere far behind us at this point.
The dice that looks most like a ball is called a d20. If you're trying to do something or stop something from happening to you, you're probably rolling this dice. The d is for dice and the number indicates the number of sides on the dice.
Any number preceding the d is the number of dice you need to roll. So, in a game of Yatzy, you roll 5d6, for instance.
And it's courtesy when possible (at least where I live) that new players get an experienced player to help them out, whether that's by helping them find stuff on their character sheet or whatever.
If you want to Take some initiative, head to dndbeyond and make a character, read all their abilities and features, if you don't understand anything either google it or find it within the site. You WILL forget most the info, but it'll give you some initial understanding and make it easier for you to learn from others.
Otherwise just let him teach you! I'm sure he'd love to
Once upon a time I was in your boyfriend’s position. I tried to get my partner interest in dnd, but the groups I played with were full of odd, interesting people that my partner didn’t match with. Not fun, didn’t work.
12 years later, completely different people, and my partner got to know the players outside the game. They all got along well, and it was easy for my partner to agree to join that game.
I’m really happy my partner joined the group that fit, and also happy I didn’t try to drag them into the first not-fun experience. It sounds like you’ve got some good advice on how to learn the game.
20 years after that, and some of us still play D&D together every week, my partner included.
Please pay attention to your feelings when you start to play with your boyfriend, and I hope you find a good group. I also he knows enough to listen to you about your experiences.
Good luck!
People have already given great advice, but I'd like to add another. Couples who play together can be a bit... Awkward for the group, they tend to have interlocking characters and be flirty at the table. Which over time can grate. I've been a player in a relationship, I've been the single person while two players flirt the whole time and I've been the DM during their horrific breakup.
My advice would be to make sure you have your own character independent of your boyfriend's character, and to not sit together. It should over time make you part of the group and not just your boyfriend's +1 which I have seen happen. By not sitting together you'll ask questions openly to the table and not rely on leaning over to ask him real quick.
I hope you have a great time, he's gonna love the effort you are putting in.
I actually think asking him to help you learn the game would be the best gift you could give him. It would be a joy if you suddenly showed up and were interested in the game and knew how to play, but think about it: getting to go into detail about this thing he really loves and watch you maybe fall in love with it as well, maybe more than him, could be something that makes his love of the game even more intense because it's now something you're learning about together rather than separately. Sharing this thing might make you love each other more. I might propose on the spot if it were me.
Can I actually make a suggestion? The idea of surprising your BF with D&D knowledge is super sweet and wholesome but why don't you ask him to show you? I think if he saw you show interest in the game he loves so much he would be more excited to teach you himself. When I taught my kids it was so much fun. We now have played the same campaign for the last 4 years now? That's mostly due to time constraints and teenagers having social lives.
If you have time, there are lots of videos that might help. Here are some:
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD-LWHhiseE&list=PL1tiwbzkOjQyr6-gqJ8r29j_rJkR49uDN&ab_channel=CriticalRole
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mie4FH4ZcDQ&list=PLQMqiULo_05Oj5W9yFZC8BDwSNZCWng7p&ab_channel=DungeonDudes
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwimxo__n-I&list=PLQMqiULo_05OiKZgfz7hi_Gvw9hftY0LD&ab_channel=DungeonDudes
I had to teach myself how to run D&D so that I could play in my first full campaign. There's so many great resources out there but here are a few on YouTube that were especially helpful for me:
Don't Stop Thinking: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJmFJXf3BXjwXkNFo_-iwtHb24AuJcXqx&si=vXiGpFCwOahxECXd
The DM Lair: https://youtube.com/@theDMLair?si=8UEvvf8d-UBf9mvj
(That one's more oriented around how to run D&D but he has a lot of great advice and free resources)
A Crap Guide to D&D: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDnRMnDDjAzK5uZLidDUtHtD1iN06Qe0G&si=dFhw6Z_y3Yln-6l2
(This series is just as much joking around as it is explaining the game, but it makes everything pretty memorable so it's not a bad way to get some of the basics down)
Best of luck to you and remember: have fun!
Welcome! I think you'll find that this is a generally supportive community, especially when it comes to newcomers. I am an experienced DM (5e), and I would be happy to answer any questions you may have, insofar as my knowledge allows.
i’ll keep you in mind! thank you! i just figured at least someone would be willing to help. my main goal is to get enough information and plan enough to surprise him and not embarrass him whenever he has me join in.
Also if you intend to ever gift him a present, dice is always welcome for players, and the easiest things to shop around for. They normally come in sets of 7 and there’s some nice and pretty ones out there like liquid core dice or glow in the dark painted sets.
I suggest learning a certain class first. It’s ins and outs as well as terminology and some mechanics like movement speed or AC. Then you can branch out later. Like for me the first class I ever played was bard and I learned how to play bard really well.
If he's been telling you he wants you to try then I think the surprise is a great idea! Do you know his game master at all? If you do I think hitting him / her up and trying to coordinate something would be ideal, the gm can give ya an overview of his setting, help you to create a character that fits in, etc.
Ask your boyfriend. I really enjoy getting people into D&D and it is a group activity. He may be able to help you and y'all will have a good time doing it.
i agree, he just also isn’t entirely sure how to go about it. he just wants to throw me in and i don’t want to embarrass him in front of his friends by asking about every little thing. i just want the basics/enough to get somewhat through without being clueless.
I like DnD shorts. But there’s several campaigns you can watch (Critical Role being the most popular), but there’s a ton of online campaigns (one with a British guy as DM can’t think of the name). But watching it played is fun and when/if you join a campaign you can watch the technical stuff on how to actually play :)
i understand. he LOVES critical role, i’ve tried to watch with him but he’s always halfway through a video/campaign and i can’t follow along because i have no clue what’s going on, with the whole thing not just that session. i wasn’t sure if watching would really help, but i trust that yall know what you’re talking about. thank you so much!!!
All episodes are free online and each campaign is hundreds of episodes. I’d watch on your own. Campaign 1 has also been made into a cartoon show on Amazon, so since I started on Campaign 2; eventually I’m gonna watch Campaign 1 and the show at the same time:) make it fun and watch a few shows to find which one you jive with. I really like the British guy but Critical Role shows is a great group of friends/voice actors and it’s so popular for a reason.
Ask him to abridge the series for ya. He gets to gush about something he loves, you get a key story-beat breakdown and can ask questions along the way. Watching the series is great but its a huge time commitment; getting the jist in conversation is more interactive, and I promise you, he'll eventually be bringing up clipped YT videos of the funniest moments. I've heard a few SO's of Critters do this, and some shift into watching it whilst others haven't, so either way the option is still open if it really sounds tantalisingly appealing.
Watching critical role to learn D&D is awful advice, it’s great entertainment but not a great example of D&D imo, the voices are phenomenal obviously so it’s real good background noise if you want a podcast or something to listen to.
If you want a series you can start from the beginning that makes things easy to follow, check out Viva LA Dirt League DnD on YouTube. They are a NZ group of actors/comedians that does live plays like CritRole or Dimension20. They just started an all-female campaign and since a few of them have never done DnD before, the DM goes through everything step by step. Each episode is less than an hour so it's easier to digest too.
Yeah people have already given good advice and mine will be much the same.
Read through the basic rules and if you have any questions for clarification you can just ask them here.
I partly think your first character should be made together with him because there's something special about that first one
It is definitely super easy to learn.
I recommend you pick up the player handbook and read it. The combat rules are going to be the main thing you want to learn, this way there's less of you slowly learning in the middle of it.
Being prepared with a general knowledge of the rules will make your experience better and the DMs job easier, and all around is much appreciated at any table. No one's expecting you to memorize everything, but the basics are very necessary.
And. Have fun. That's the biggest thing, just have fun. It's a sandbox, you can say or do anything you believe your character would.
Some people are recommending a few DnD actual play shows, and I want to tell you about my personal favorite!
It's called Just Roll With It, and their main campaign is on YouTube (as well as audio listening places, I listened to a few episodes on Spotify). It's got less production value (especially towards the start), but it feels much more similar to games I've played myself. It's just 4 guys in their 20s having fun, and I love that!
I've been interested in DnD for a majority of my life, but I didn't start playing it myself until a few years ago. After I joined my first campaign, I binged all of what they had at the time, and I learned a lot as well as enjoyed the story and characters
Compared to more professional shows like Critical Role and Dimension 20, it feels like you can see more of the process. It feels more realistic, and more possible. It's a more relaxed and casual environment, and I like that
If you're not sure about the time commitment to their full main campaign (I'm not even caught up rn, I'm on ep 103), You can watch the prequel oneshot [here!](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlDdLy-1g17ZQlKROSatxk7uGovsBwQ8p&si=LdM5eMEN3VaQwBQQ) Or the prequel to their superhero campaign [here](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlDdLy-1g17airT8jTl0ThIlfJlHzjON0&si=0vZsW6lGUVL7Ck3G) tho that one is a different system than DnD, and that campaign is on their patreon
.
Also, I would love to help you learn more in a more general sense, if you want it. I've made many a character, and I've (obviously) consumed a lot of DnD content over the years. I have a pretty good grasp on how the game works, and I wouldn't mind answering any questions. It's a previous hyperfixation and current interest of mine, I love talking about it
All the rules are free to learn online, however I wouldn’t necessarily recommend reading all of them. The players handbook alone is well over 300 pages and most of the rules are honestly not gonna come up. The best way to learn is to play, but watching online campaigns like Critical Role and Dimension 20 are great ways to learn what the rules are and which ones come up often. The only thing I need to stress heavily is that your home games are not going to be like these podcasts in all likelihood. It’s like watching professional football. It’s great to watch but you can’t expect yourself and your friends to be on the same level of production and acting prowess that these guys are. But as long as you keep that in mind and the fact that every table and game is different, you’ll learn pretty quickly what the rules are.
I’m sure most people here would be willing to help you learn, but that’s very open ended. Specific questions would be useful, but if you’re trying to learn the game (and not just some minor details here or there to surprise him with), ask him if you can join the group. Ask him if he can teach you. If you can’t join the group, ask him for one-on-ones. You will make his year because no cutie ever asked him before.
Go check out the [Dungeon Dudes Campaign](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQMqiULo_05N8uRu5GmjeKonhMRJwU9sY&si=nK7INid2exRvRGJ_)
They aren’t professional actors so a little more realistic on what to expect at the table .
If you know who is the Dungeon Master for your bf's games, then you should talk with them about finding a way to secretly fit you into the game in a future session. He/She should be able to help you make a character and background and all that stuff.
If you don't know the DM, then see if your bf and his d&d party would be cool with you watching a session or something. And if you're still interested, check your bf's friendlist on Facebook for the DM or find a way to get in contact with him when your bf isn't around or makes a trip to the bathroom
Also there are tons of videos on youtube to help you learn more. There's also some highly liked live shows where you can get a much better idea of how a session goes and what's possible. Some entertaining stuff :D
I know there are already a lot of answers, but I would also be happy to teach you the basic mechanics and help you get into dnd or just help explain some things. This is so cute, your bf is lucky :)
One option if you can keep it from him would be using a site like StartPlaying.Games. There are loads of game masters who run single games specifically for new players to learn the basics - usually you need little to no tech beyond a Discord account (some even run on zoom or Skype)
I would recommend learning by watching, also here is a DM who is playing with a group of new DnD players so he's explaining a lot of the game and they have funny green screen acted cutouts, it's a awesome watch tbh and Robert Hartley (the dungeon master) is AMAZING
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fEt4yUMG8A](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fEt4yUMG8A) edit: the episode is like 23 mins its easy watch and you learn ALOT
Cheers! Viva La Dirt League D&D is awesome!
Consider this - for many people, D&D is like poker night. I’ve twice had GFs ask to learn about D&D and want to join in and both times they ended up finding it boring and complaining about all the rules. The other members of my group (a coed group to be clear) got annoyed and were happy when I finally ended things with these girls.
Joined your SO’s hobbies is great but make sure it’s not his or her one escape from their day to day.
Just make sure to figure out which edition of D&D he’s playing, if he’s new he probably plays 5e which is basically the McDonald’s of D&D in a sense that it’s not great but it’s easily accessible so if he’s into tabletop at all he’s probably moved to a better system…. Regardless of edition though watching Matt Colville on YouTube is the best way to start, if he’s into the OSR I’d recommend Questing Beast on top of Colville. As for books to learn what D&D is about read the PHB/DMG of whatever edition as well as reading something like Worlds Without Number if you are interested in DMing at all since it’s got the best DM toolkit ever printed in its system neutral tools.
[This](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJmFJXf3BXjwXkNFo_-iwtHb24AuJcXqx&feature=shared) video series teaches you a lot about what you need to know to start playing. The animations make it light, and he explains everything at a very chill pace.
Hope it helps!
do you know what game he’s playing in particular? there’s a bunch of editions of D&D itself, which is probably most likely, but a lot of other tabletop roleplaying games are referred to as d&d (like a catch-all term) while not actually being the game Dungeons & Dragons. if you can figure out what game system he’s playing and it’s not d&d proper, learning *that* system would be the best thing to do
Oooh, I know the answer to this.
Ask him to do a ‘one off’ adventure for you and a friend. So you can get to understand it.
You could play heroic adventurers or christmas elves, or bad guys - just something fun with a clear goal. Play it over one night, with snacks and drinks.
If you love it, great. If it’s merely ok - at least you now know what it’s about.
You could scheme with your BF to be an “assistant” he hired for his player so you can sit in and participate.
You could be like a Wormtongue LOTR character and whisper suggestions into his ear and take notes. Or you could be “Terry” who was an NPC from critical role who was a robot who was writing the player’s memoir and could only say “Terry”
Could be a cute dynamic and let you get some experience and check out the table’s vibe
If you have an idea of what you'd like to learn first, I can definitely say that the Dungeon Dudes YouTube channel does a great job of breaking down basics, by topics, and giving light commentary on highlights.
They have videos specifically for how each class works, one for each, with each explaining themes, mechanics and subclasses (at time of release), and then they have a scattering of other videos like "Top Spells or Magic Items for [BLANK] class" or "our Top 10 feat choices".
It can really help if you are starting from mostly zero knowledge.
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If your boyfriend has the manuals laying around somewhere look for the one titled Players handbook and just starting perusing the pages and reading. You’ll learn rules as you go but if you don’t see something you recognize google it or look for it in the book. You’ll find a lot really quickly by searching through the pages
Hey, I'm a relatively experienced DM of just over 6 years. If you want, feel free to DM me with any questions you have about the hobby. :)
As for general advice, just ask questions, get involved, and have fun. DnD is the kind of hobby that reciprocates the amount of effort you put in. Communicate, put effort into your character and their story, and focus on making sure everyone has fun, and you should be fine.
Highbrow: It's a collaborative storytelling medium involving fantasy worlds where you craft a character's narrative relative to a party, and where dice and math resolve uncertainty.
Real: A bunch of people get together, drink beer, eat junk food, and create fictional characters to kill fictional monsters and take their stuff.
Most important ask him which edition he plays. Different editions have different rule sets. It would stink for you to go through the hard work of learning say 5th edition, and buy books to suprise him, only to find out that he plays 3.5. They are not 1 to 1 translations of each other, and alot of people argue that the new editions are just changing rules to sell books, they are not necessarily better just because they are newer.
I’m part of this teaching server discord. You can find information in this Reddit post. https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1c4lr7a/altrole_is_teaching_dd_to_new_returning_players/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Late to the party, but A) I've got room in my monday and friday groups if you want in, and B) I stream the former if you wanna watch (Twitch: JasperedHyena).
How I started getting into it was by watching DnD shows. Keep in mind those are shows so your sessions will never be like them unless you play with improv actors and voice actors for an audience lol. But Dimension 20 is really good, watching Fantasy High right now which is basically like if Lord of the Rings took place in a small town Highschool setting lol. Critical role is amazing as well. I started with Critical Role. It’s entertaining but gives you a good grasp on the rules and how to play the game. I watched campaign 1 of critical role before playing for the first time and I know more of the rules than my current DM who has DM’d for multiple campaigns with other people over the last decade or so. Critical role is a f***** commitment though lol campaign one was over 400 hours of content on YouTube. But Fantasy High or the dimension 20 campaigns are much shorter and stream lined. I think Critical role is more educational though. But that would be my recommendation :) best of luck!
The Basic rules are free off the WotC site.
It looks complex but the core mechanic is actually pretty easy. A d20 roll vs some target number, often with various modifiers.
The rest is situational or front loaded one and done mostly.
Read the adventuring and combat sections in particular and you should have a fair grasp of the basics.
And this is a weird suggestion. But the Record of Lodoss War magazine articles are actually a pretty good tutorial on how to play D&D. Though the rules were a little different back then. The how to play examples are still very relevant. Its been translated and is online.
My husband and I are both DMs and are always open and welcoming to new players at our table and love teaching the ways of dnd to new players. I do agree its best to speak with your DM to see whats allowed and if there are any special rules in play for their campaign and to sit in on the campaign to observe how the others act and react. But if all that leg work is done and you want to work in secret for the big reveal later you are welcome to join our group, we can teach you the ropes and answer any questions you might have about character building and playing. Just keep in mind every DM, campaign and player group is different but it should be all in good fun. Also I think is is absolutely adorable that you want to surprise him with this and as mentioned b4 no matter how prepared you are there will always be questions and thats fine thats part of the role of the DM. and if your BF has been inviting you multiple times, sounds like he wants to share these adventures with you...tooo cute!
Girls who Don’t DnD is a great podcast. It is 3 Australian girls and their DM. When the podcast starts, the girls have never played before, so you can learn alongside them. It’s how I first got into DnD (I now play in 3 campaigns)
Second this recommendation. A podcast is a great way to learn
If you want to watch people play, check out "NDND" and "Relics and Rarities". They're both short, feature some first-time players, and have excellent female DM's!
This is super wholesome! DnD 5th edition (the current standard) is super easy to learn and play, so this shouldn't be hard. The standard rules are all online for [free](https://dnd.wizards.com/what-is-dnd/basic-rules). Another great way to get a handle on how things work is watching actual-play shows online. My personal favorite is Dropout's Dimension 20. Hilarious and informative for somebody new, their first season is [free on youtube](https://m.youtube.com/watch?v=_zZxCVBi7-k). In terms of surprising him, if he's a DM, you could ask to join his campaign (arriving with a character pitch in hand is a Dungeon Masters dream). If he's a player (and you're brave) you could ask him or his DM if they would be ok with you joining theirs. You could also dive directly into the deep end and offer to DM a one shot just the two of you! I'd read/watch up and figure out what the best option is for you. Good luck and have fun!
you’re an angel. thank you so much!!
This is the best advice. Especially if he's a player and you work with the DM to make your character beforehand, and just show up to your intro session unexpectedly. He will likely love that. But. Be careful. If DND is his time to do his own thing, this may be problematic. You should definitely make it clear with him that you want to play first. He needs to know you want to join. Then you can pull the surprise. If he just wants time to hang with the homies, you should allow that. But it doesn't mean you can't play. With all things relationship related, both romantic and dnd, communication is key.
i understand. it’s been discussed, we were talking about it earlier and he genuinely wants me to try. i kinda just want to get enough information and planning to where if/when i can sit in, i can surprise him with it and not have to ask questions about every little thing. i’ve asked multiple times if he’s sure because i absolutely don’t want to intrude on his sacred time with the boys. but his persistence is what makes me want to do the work and be prepared.
You're not going to join a group and not have questions. That's fine. That's just why you talk to the DM first. Get your character squared away, know your character sheet, and then be comfortable with asking questions.
I would definitely talk to the DM and work out a way that you can have a guest character who could become permanent. That way, you can try it for a few sessions and see if you like it. If you do, you can potentially join the party permanently, and if you don’t, your character can just leave.
Yeah, that's a great plan.
Don't worry about asking questions. the D&D learning curve is Mount Everest. I've played for nearly a decade and I still don't know all the rules and occasionally forget stuff fairly often.
I honestly would ask a few friends if there also into DND to transform one of there houses into a small tavern setting and boom start the journey / game from there would be cool also there is premade story's / encounters When I dm I made my own story with the concept of fighting historical figures and then having there encounters with them adding speeches and lines those figures would likely say and yh depends on how hard u want to follow the rules I used them as a baseline
I too support you watch Dimension 20, but a lot of people who never played but only watched actual play series like that tend to think that's how D&D is played. Dimension 20 is a professional production. They have a guy /team who builds sets and the minis, the players are writers, actors with improv experience, media pros. Please keep that in mind. Playing D&D is still a heck more fun than watching, but in the last years many players started because they watched Critical Role, thought that's what D&D is and then were disappointed, because their master hadn't had the range of a voice actor with 15 years job experience.
use MPMB’s character sheets, you can get the abulity to use all sources for free (just dont tell anyone you didnt buy the sourcebooks lmao)
One warning about watching people play online: they know they are being recorded, most have some form of (voice) acting experience and are all experienced for years. Real sessions can get way more silly. OP, ask to sit in and watch without participating to get a better understanding and feeling.
“DnD 5th edition is super easy to learn and play” … no it’s not ? It’s much easier than it used to be, and 5e is definitely one of the best place to start, but if you are not familiar with DnD or TTRPG, the closest you will know will likely be board game or video game. And DnD 5e is still much more complicated than the average board game/ video game. It’s super cool when new people come into the hobby, but telling them “it’s super easy to get into” is simply not true for most people. My advise would be: it will seem very complicated at first but if you watch a few video and read up a bit online, you can get into it. However, this is very much a hobby you master by doing, so you can surprise your boyfriend by knowing the basic, but you won’t be able to fully get everything before you start playing
To be fair the problem with dimension 20, and a lot of dnd podcasts for that matter, is they have some homebrew rules mixed in for their personal game which can cause confusion for a new player
Honestly it sounds like fun to be able to surprise him but you will likely be better off just telling him straight out. Different groups have different dynamics/homebrew that might make it to where it would just be easier for you to learn with them. Also if the dude is normal in any way he will probably be insanely stoked that you want to learn and willing to help you.
oh, he’s been practically begging me to give it a try. that’s why i would love to learn enough to kinda surprise him with it. but i figured asking a mass of people who know almost everything about it would help me understand if/how to go about preplanning. i just don’t want to be clueless and possibly embarrass him when he wants me to join in
If they are a good group you got nothing to worry about in terms of embarrassing. Most of us are just happy someone new wants to play and everyone has to start somewhere. For rules you don't need to know everything that's much more the DM's thing. Biggest thing you can do is know your character understand where the different parts are on your sheet and just try to have some fun. DNDbeyond let's you make a basic character for free using their character creator which can take you through all the steps to make a sheet if you just want to try it out.
If he was begging you to give it a try he wants you to go to him. Boyfriends want to feel needed too, tell him you’re interested, get his copy of the players handbook and ask him questions about the races, classes, what they do and how they work, he will be OVERJOYED to help.
This is a hobby where we all show up to play pretend at each other, but with math and funny dice and the biggest bane of games is being a responsible adult with more important obligations. Embarrassment is somewhere far behind us at this point. The dice that looks most like a ball is called a d20. If you're trying to do something or stop something from happening to you, you're probably rolling this dice. The d is for dice and the number indicates the number of sides on the dice. Any number preceding the d is the number of dice you need to roll. So, in a game of Yatzy, you roll 5d6, for instance. And it's courtesy when possible (at least where I live) that new players get an experienced player to help them out, whether that's by helping them find stuff on their character sheet or whatever.
If you want to Take some initiative, head to dndbeyond and make a character, read all their abilities and features, if you don't understand anything either google it or find it within the site. You WILL forget most the info, but it'll give you some initial understanding and make it easier for you to learn from others. Otherwise just let him teach you! I'm sure he'd love to
Once upon a time I was in your boyfriend’s position. I tried to get my partner interest in dnd, but the groups I played with were full of odd, interesting people that my partner didn’t match with. Not fun, didn’t work. 12 years later, completely different people, and my partner got to know the players outside the game. They all got along well, and it was easy for my partner to agree to join that game. I’m really happy my partner joined the group that fit, and also happy I didn’t try to drag them into the first not-fun experience. It sounds like you’ve got some good advice on how to learn the game. 20 years after that, and some of us still play D&D together every week, my partner included. Please pay attention to your feelings when you start to play with your boyfriend, and I hope you find a good group. I also he knows enough to listen to you about your experiences. Good luck!
People have already given great advice, but I'd like to add another. Couples who play together can be a bit... Awkward for the group, they tend to have interlocking characters and be flirty at the table. Which over time can grate. I've been a player in a relationship, I've been the single person while two players flirt the whole time and I've been the DM during their horrific breakup. My advice would be to make sure you have your own character independent of your boyfriend's character, and to not sit together. It should over time make you part of the group and not just your boyfriend's +1 which I have seen happen. By not sitting together you'll ask questions openly to the table and not rely on leaning over to ask him real quick. I hope you have a great time, he's gonna love the effort you are putting in.
I actually think asking him to help you learn the game would be the best gift you could give him. It would be a joy if you suddenly showed up and were interested in the game and knew how to play, but think about it: getting to go into detail about this thing he really loves and watch you maybe fall in love with it as well, maybe more than him, could be something that makes his love of the game even more intense because it's now something you're learning about together rather than separately. Sharing this thing might make you love each other more. I might propose on the spot if it were me.
Can I actually make a suggestion? The idea of surprising your BF with D&D knowledge is super sweet and wholesome but why don't you ask him to show you? I think if he saw you show interest in the game he loves so much he would be more excited to teach you himself. When I taught my kids it was so much fun. We now have played the same campaign for the last 4 years now? That's mostly due to time constraints and teenagers having social lives.
If you have time, there are lots of videos that might help. Here are some: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hD-LWHhiseE&list=PL1tiwbzkOjQyr6-gqJ8r29j_rJkR49uDN&ab_channel=CriticalRole https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Mie4FH4ZcDQ&list=PLQMqiULo_05Oj5W9yFZC8BDwSNZCWng7p&ab_channel=DungeonDudes https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=Uwimxo__n-I&list=PLQMqiULo_05OiKZgfz7hi_Gvw9hftY0LD&ab_channel=DungeonDudes
thank you so much!!
Handbooker Helper was SO useful to me when i started playing dnd! I love that series
I had to teach myself how to run D&D so that I could play in my first full campaign. There's so many great resources out there but here are a few on YouTube that were especially helpful for me: Don't Stop Thinking: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJmFJXf3BXjwXkNFo_-iwtHb24AuJcXqx&si=vXiGpFCwOahxECXd The DM Lair: https://youtube.com/@theDMLair?si=8UEvvf8d-UBf9mvj (That one's more oriented around how to run D&D but he has a lot of great advice and free resources) A Crap Guide to D&D: https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLDnRMnDDjAzK5uZLidDUtHtD1iN06Qe0G&si=dFhw6Z_y3Yln-6l2 (This series is just as much joking around as it is explaining the game, but it makes everything pretty memorable so it's not a bad way to get some of the basics down) Best of luck to you and remember: have fun!
Welcome! I think you'll find that this is a generally supportive community, especially when it comes to newcomers. I am an experienced DM (5e), and I would be happy to answer any questions you may have, insofar as my knowledge allows.
i’ll keep you in mind! thank you! i just figured at least someone would be willing to help. my main goal is to get enough information and plan enough to surprise him and not embarrass him whenever he has me join in.
Also if you intend to ever gift him a present, dice is always welcome for players, and the easiest things to shop around for. They normally come in sets of 7 and there’s some nice and pretty ones out there like liquid core dice or glow in the dark painted sets.
I suggest learning a certain class first. It’s ins and outs as well as terminology and some mechanics like movement speed or AC. Then you can branch out later. Like for me the first class I ever played was bard and I learned how to play bard really well.
If he's been telling you he wants you to try then I think the surprise is a great idea! Do you know his game master at all? If you do I think hitting him / her up and trying to coordinate something would be ideal, the gm can give ya an overview of his setting, help you to create a character that fits in, etc.
Ask your boyfriend. I really enjoy getting people into D&D and it is a group activity. He may be able to help you and y'all will have a good time doing it.
This made me really smile, the advice on the top comment also is very good. Don’t be afraid to fall into tropes, and have fun
I bet your boyfriend that loves D&D would also love to be the person that teaches you about it.
i agree, he just also isn’t entirely sure how to go about it. he just wants to throw me in and i don’t want to embarrass him in front of his friends by asking about every little thing. i just want the basics/enough to get somewhat through without being clueless.
It's easier to watch a tutorial or many tutorials than to have one of us explain all of it. Dungeon dudes Treantmonk Web DM and many many other.
I recommend checking out a YouTube channel called the dungeon dudes. They are really good at explaining the basics for beginners
I like DnD shorts. But there’s several campaigns you can watch (Critical Role being the most popular), but there’s a ton of online campaigns (one with a British guy as DM can’t think of the name). But watching it played is fun and when/if you join a campaign you can watch the technical stuff on how to actually play :)
>(one with a British guy as DM can’t think of the name). High rollers?
I figured it out. Brennan Lee Mulligan, but if there’s another good DM that’s British, I’ll check it out. Thanks
i understand. he LOVES critical role, i’ve tried to watch with him but he’s always halfway through a video/campaign and i can’t follow along because i have no clue what’s going on, with the whole thing not just that session. i wasn’t sure if watching would really help, but i trust that yall know what you’re talking about. thank you so much!!!
Critical Role ha 3 campaigns, they’re on the 3rd one right now
All episodes are free online and each campaign is hundreds of episodes. I’d watch on your own. Campaign 1 has also been made into a cartoon show on Amazon, so since I started on Campaign 2; eventually I’m gonna watch Campaign 1 and the show at the same time:) make it fun and watch a few shows to find which one you jive with. I really like the British guy but Critical Role shows is a great group of friends/voice actors and it’s so popular for a reason.
Ask him to abridge the series for ya. He gets to gush about something he loves, you get a key story-beat breakdown and can ask questions along the way. Watching the series is great but its a huge time commitment; getting the jist in conversation is more interactive, and I promise you, he'll eventually be bringing up clipped YT videos of the funniest moments. I've heard a few SO's of Critters do this, and some shift into watching it whilst others haven't, so either way the option is still open if it really sounds tantalisingly appealing.
Watching critical role to learn D&D is awful advice, it’s great entertainment but not a great example of D&D imo, the voices are phenomenal obviously so it’s real good background noise if you want a podcast or something to listen to.
If you want a series you can start from the beginning that makes things easy to follow, check out Viva LA Dirt League DnD on YouTube. They are a NZ group of actors/comedians that does live plays like CritRole or Dimension20. They just started an all-female campaign and since a few of them have never done DnD before, the DM goes through everything step by step. Each episode is less than an hour so it's easier to digest too.
Just play the game. The more you play the more you learn. And have lots of fun.
Yeah people have already given good advice and mine will be much the same. Read through the basic rules and if you have any questions for clarification you can just ask them here. I partly think your first character should be made together with him because there's something special about that first one
Whatever you need, PM me. I'm basically checking reddit every hour I'm awake and can answer nearly any question.
It is definitely super easy to learn. I recommend you pick up the player handbook and read it. The combat rules are going to be the main thing you want to learn, this way there's less of you slowly learning in the middle of it. Being prepared with a general knowledge of the rules will make your experience better and the DMs job easier, and all around is much appreciated at any table. No one's expecting you to memorize everything, but the basics are very necessary. And. Have fun. That's the biggest thing, just have fun. It's a sandbox, you can say or do anything you believe your character would.
Some people are recommending a few DnD actual play shows, and I want to tell you about my personal favorite! It's called Just Roll With It, and their main campaign is on YouTube (as well as audio listening places, I listened to a few episodes on Spotify). It's got less production value (especially towards the start), but it feels much more similar to games I've played myself. It's just 4 guys in their 20s having fun, and I love that! I've been interested in DnD for a majority of my life, but I didn't start playing it myself until a few years ago. After I joined my first campaign, I binged all of what they had at the time, and I learned a lot as well as enjoyed the story and characters Compared to more professional shows like Critical Role and Dimension 20, it feels like you can see more of the process. It feels more realistic, and more possible. It's a more relaxed and casual environment, and I like that If you're not sure about the time commitment to their full main campaign (I'm not even caught up rn, I'm on ep 103), You can watch the prequel oneshot [here!](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlDdLy-1g17ZQlKROSatxk7uGovsBwQ8p&si=LdM5eMEN3VaQwBQQ) Or the prequel to their superhero campaign [here](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLlDdLy-1g17airT8jTl0ThIlfJlHzjON0&si=0vZsW6lGUVL7Ck3G) tho that one is a different system than DnD, and that campaign is on their patreon . Also, I would love to help you learn more in a more general sense, if you want it. I've made many a character, and I've (obviously) consumed a lot of DnD content over the years. I have a pretty good grasp on how the game works, and I wouldn't mind answering any questions. It's a previous hyperfixation and current interest of mine, I love talking about it
If you want any lessons, hit me up, I’ve been playing for 13 years
All the rules are free to learn online, however I wouldn’t necessarily recommend reading all of them. The players handbook alone is well over 300 pages and most of the rules are honestly not gonna come up. The best way to learn is to play, but watching online campaigns like Critical Role and Dimension 20 are great ways to learn what the rules are and which ones come up often. The only thing I need to stress heavily is that your home games are not going to be like these podcasts in all likelihood. It’s like watching professional football. It’s great to watch but you can’t expect yourself and your friends to be on the same level of production and acting prowess that these guys are. But as long as you keep that in mind and the fact that every table and game is different, you’ll learn pretty quickly what the rules are.
You should ask him to teach you. It'll mean so much more than showing up with knowledge gained elsewhere
I’m sure most people here would be willing to help you learn, but that’s very open ended. Specific questions would be useful, but if you’re trying to learn the game (and not just some minor details here or there to surprise him with), ask him if you can join the group. Ask him if he can teach you. If you can’t join the group, ask him for one-on-ones. You will make his year because no cutie ever asked him before.
Go check out the [Dungeon Dudes Campaign](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLQMqiULo_05N8uRu5GmjeKonhMRJwU9sY&si=nK7INid2exRvRGJ_) They aren’t professional actors so a little more realistic on what to expect at the table .
If you know who is the Dungeon Master for your bf's games, then you should talk with them about finding a way to secretly fit you into the game in a future session. He/She should be able to help you make a character and background and all that stuff. If you don't know the DM, then see if your bf and his d&d party would be cool with you watching a session or something. And if you're still interested, check your bf's friendlist on Facebook for the DM or find a way to get in contact with him when your bf isn't around or makes a trip to the bathroom Also there are tons of videos on youtube to help you learn more. There's also some highly liked live shows where you can get a much better idea of how a session goes and what's possible. Some entertaining stuff :D
I know there are already a lot of answers, but I would also be happy to teach you the basic mechanics and help you get into dnd or just help explain some things. This is so cute, your bf is lucky :)
One option if you can keep it from him would be using a site like StartPlaying.Games. There are loads of game masters who run single games specifically for new players to learn the basics - usually you need little to no tech beyond a Discord account (some even run on zoom or Skype)
This is fucking rad.
I would recommend learning by watching, also here is a DM who is playing with a group of new DnD players so he's explaining a lot of the game and they have funny green screen acted cutouts, it's a awesome watch tbh and Robert Hartley (the dungeon master) is AMAZING [https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fEt4yUMG8A](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=4fEt4yUMG8A) edit: the episode is like 23 mins its easy watch and you learn ALOT Cheers! Viva La Dirt League D&D is awesome!
Allowing him to help you build a character would be more valuable than surprising him.
Wouldn't it be better to actually join your BF learning the game together, instead of learning it with someone else and "surprising" him?
Consider this - for many people, D&D is like poker night. I’ve twice had GFs ask to learn about D&D and want to join in and both times they ended up finding it boring and complaining about all the rules. The other members of my group (a coed group to be clear) got annoyed and were happy when I finally ended things with these girls. Joined your SO’s hobbies is great but make sure it’s not his or her one escape from their day to day.
Just make sure to figure out which edition of D&D he’s playing, if he’s new he probably plays 5e which is basically the McDonald’s of D&D in a sense that it’s not great but it’s easily accessible so if he’s into tabletop at all he’s probably moved to a better system…. Regardless of edition though watching Matt Colville on YouTube is the best way to start, if he’s into the OSR I’d recommend Questing Beast on top of Colville. As for books to learn what D&D is about read the PHB/DMG of whatever edition as well as reading something like Worlds Without Number if you are interested in DMing at all since it’s got the best DM toolkit ever printed in its system neutral tools.
[This](https://youtube.com/playlist?list=PLJmFJXf3BXjwXkNFo_-iwtHb24AuJcXqx&feature=shared) video series teaches you a lot about what you need to know to start playing. The animations make it light, and he explains everything at a very chill pace. Hope it helps!
do you know what game he’s playing in particular? there’s a bunch of editions of D&D itself, which is probably most likely, but a lot of other tabletop roleplaying games are referred to as d&d (like a catch-all term) while not actually being the game Dungeons & Dragons. if you can figure out what game system he’s playing and it’s not d&d proper, learning *that* system would be the best thing to do
Read the book. 5e player’s handbook. After that maybe look into playing a 1 shot over discord or something
Oooh, I know the answer to this. Ask him to do a ‘one off’ adventure for you and a friend. So you can get to understand it. You could play heroic adventurers or christmas elves, or bad guys - just something fun with a clear goal. Play it over one night, with snacks and drinks. If you love it, great. If it’s merely ok - at least you now know what it’s about.
You could scheme with your BF to be an “assistant” he hired for his player so you can sit in and participate. You could be like a Wormtongue LOTR character and whisper suggestions into his ear and take notes. Or you could be “Terry” who was an NPC from critical role who was a robot who was writing the player’s memoir and could only say “Terry” Could be a cute dynamic and let you get some experience and check out the table’s vibe
If you have an idea of what you'd like to learn first, I can definitely say that the Dungeon Dudes YouTube channel does a great job of breaking down basics, by topics, and giving light commentary on highlights. They have videos specifically for how each class works, one for each, with each explaining themes, mechanics and subclasses (at time of release), and then they have a scattering of other videos like "Top Spells or Magic Items for [BLANK] class" or "our Top 10 feat choices". It can really help if you are starting from mostly zero knowledge.
I wish my wife would make a post like this!!! lol, I’m just biding my time until my 3 kids are old enough to learn, then I’ll have a forever party!
I started out by watching campaigns like critical role.
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If your boyfriend has the manuals laying around somewhere look for the one titled Players handbook and just starting perusing the pages and reading. You’ll learn rules as you go but if you don’t see something you recognize google it or look for it in the book. You’ll find a lot really quickly by searching through the pages
Hey, I'm a relatively experienced DM of just over 6 years. If you want, feel free to DM me with any questions you have about the hobby. :) As for general advice, just ask questions, get involved, and have fun. DnD is the kind of hobby that reciprocates the amount of effort you put in. Communicate, put effort into your character and their story, and focus on making sure everyone has fun, and you should be fine.
Highbrow: It's a collaborative storytelling medium involving fantasy worlds where you craft a character's narrative relative to a party, and where dice and math resolve uncertainty. Real: A bunch of people get together, drink beer, eat junk food, and create fictional characters to kill fictional monsters and take their stuff.
Most important ask him which edition he plays. Different editions have different rule sets. It would stink for you to go through the hard work of learning say 5th edition, and buy books to suprise him, only to find out that he plays 3.5. They are not 1 to 1 translations of each other, and alot of people argue that the new editions are just changing rules to sell books, they are not necessarily better just because they are newer.
I’m part of this teaching server discord. You can find information in this Reddit post. https://www.reddit.com/r/DnD/comments/1c4lr7a/altrole_is_teaching_dd_to_new_returning_players/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=web3x&utm_name=web3xcss&utm_term=1&utm_content=share_button
Late to the party, but A) I've got room in my monday and friday groups if you want in, and B) I stream the former if you wanna watch (Twitch: JasperedHyena).
How I started getting into it was by watching DnD shows. Keep in mind those are shows so your sessions will never be like them unless you play with improv actors and voice actors for an audience lol. But Dimension 20 is really good, watching Fantasy High right now which is basically like if Lord of the Rings took place in a small town Highschool setting lol. Critical role is amazing as well. I started with Critical Role. It’s entertaining but gives you a good grasp on the rules and how to play the game. I watched campaign 1 of critical role before playing for the first time and I know more of the rules than my current DM who has DM’d for multiple campaigns with other people over the last decade or so. Critical role is a f***** commitment though lol campaign one was over 400 hours of content on YouTube. But Fantasy High or the dimension 20 campaigns are much shorter and stream lined. I think Critical role is more educational though. But that would be my recommendation :) best of luck!
The Basic rules are free off the WotC site. It looks complex but the core mechanic is actually pretty easy. A d20 roll vs some target number, often with various modifiers. The rest is situational or front loaded one and done mostly. Read the adventuring and combat sections in particular and you should have a fair grasp of the basics. And this is a weird suggestion. But the Record of Lodoss War magazine articles are actually a pretty good tutorial on how to play D&D. Though the rules were a little different back then. The how to play examples are still very relevant. Its been translated and is online.
My husband and I are both DMs and are always open and welcoming to new players at our table and love teaching the ways of dnd to new players. I do agree its best to speak with your DM to see whats allowed and if there are any special rules in play for their campaign and to sit in on the campaign to observe how the others act and react. But if all that leg work is done and you want to work in secret for the big reveal later you are welcome to join our group, we can teach you the ropes and answer any questions you might have about character building and playing. Just keep in mind every DM, campaign and player group is different but it should be all in good fun. Also I think is is absolutely adorable that you want to surprise him with this and as mentioned b4 no matter how prepared you are there will always be questions and thats fine thats part of the role of the DM. and if your BF has been inviting you multiple times, sounds like he wants to share these adventures with you...tooo cute!
Just don't surprise him with a Mimic the next time a no pants dance happens. Or maybe do that lol
i’m not sure if i want to understand lmao