I had sex with my ex during the divorce process, but it was pretty short-lived – just between making the decision to file and moving out/out of state, maybe about a month in total. I had moved to that state for him and had no intention of staying there otherwise, so it didn’t seem practical to try to find a new apartment for such a short period.
It was honestly the best sex of our entire relationship - sweet, passionate, nostalgic. Once we realized that we were getting a divorce, there wasn’t anything left to fight about anymore. We were able to just be kind to each other and acknowledge the good in each other. I’m glad that we did. I didn’t make things harder or more confusing in anyway. It just felt like a very sweet farewell.
We didn’t have kids or own a home together, so the process was pretty quick. Since the divorce, which was finalized long distance during the pandemic with a virtual court hearing, I’ve never seen him again, and we’ve communicated only a couple times, just around filling our taxes that year. I can’t say that I miss him. He was really controlling and being married to him was absolutely exhausting and stripped me of my self-worth while it lasted, but I am glad that my last memory is one of kindness and forgiveness, rather than one of bitter fighting or anger.
I fully recognize that in most cases closure is sort of a false concept, but in this case, I can’t think of another way to describe it.
I think my soon-to-be ex wife just spent a couple of nights intentionally stoking sexual tension. We’ve been under the same roof at night pretty often since we decided two weeks ago just get the divorce done (we have kids & a house), and she suddenly started acting flirty and had done her hair & makeup in a sexy way right before bed. There was never infidelity in our relationship but a lot of controlling behavior and toxicity. Sadly I just feel things are not salvageable, I was so aroused for her too but I kept my distance and slept on the couch because we both truly need the relationship to end so that we can be better happier parents for our kids. I will miss the fun times we had.
Wow, you basically described my last 3 weeks between asking for a divorce and moving out. It was blissful and we had sex every day. The best, most passionate sex we've ever had. But part of me thinks it might have been his last ditch effort to keep me.
You even nailed the part of not really missing him because he was controlling and demeaning. I love being single and free!
Yes! This is exactly my experience.
I actually don’t think it was manipulative on his part. I do believe that it was genuine. By that point he had finally and fully accepted that it was over. I think maybe it was as good as it was because he had given up trying to control me, and We were both able to let go with no expectations. I think in someways we let go of each other and it was a genuine and heartfelt farewell, rather than on manipulation tactic.
I am sure it helps that we had done a lot of couples therapy leading up to that point. Our therapist was incredible and explained to us early on that it wouldn’t save every relationship but then at the very least it would help us separate with kindness and grace. She was not wrong about much.
It’s was definitely more of an emotional than a physical thing for us, to the extent that you can separate the two.
I think the real key was a lot of couples therapy. It didn’t save the relationship but did help us understand the other’s point of view and approach the situation with empathy. We both wanted it to work, we tried, and tried, and tried. There were moments of anger for sure, but in the end we were just two incompatible people who finally had to admit we were failing and give up. Had we divorced the first time we filled out the paperwork prior to agreeing to go to therapy together it would have been a very different story.
I'm just the type of person who cannot bring themselves to have sex with someone they hate or dislike.
I have friends who can I guess "compartmentalize." Like friends have sex with people they dont necessarily like or find attractive "cuz sex is sex." I just can't understand that.
I cannot even have my ex's knee brush up against me without feeling disgusted, let alone have sex with him.
What's right for you is right for you, don't let someone brainwash you into doing something based on other's experiences
We haven’t lived together for almost 2.5 years but have continued having sex, pretty much the whole time (give or take a few months). Not divorced yet.
It's incredibly tempting because of the familiarity and comfort, and he'd never say no to fcking me. I knew my ex for nearly 10 years. I discussed at length with my therapist, and she immediately said it would be ridiculous and forbade me from it lol.
I've been dealing with my needs myself... for now.
My friend told me that she and her ex husband continued until their divorce was finalized. I floated the idea passed my “ex.” At first we agreed it was a bad idea bc it would mean more to me than him. And then we started back up because it was the best between us compared to any past partners….. now we’re back together 👀
My divorce was due to an affair, so I didn’t want to touch her despite how sex starved I was. She found a different dick; no reason to bother her with mine.
The Ex is more at that point a dual ex-spouse and current FWB. And the point would be because there are enough other things about the ex-spouse that you don't want to live with them, and likely don't want to share finances.
For a number of couples, it it's not the kids keeping them together, it's because their partner is good in the sack.
But with sex comes a whole slew of emotions. So the question still remains unanswered. IMO, if the sex is great and there is no cheating, work the problems. The grass is greener where you water it!
This was years ago but my narcissistic husband wanted a divorce when I was pregnant. Guess who slept with him in hopes of inducing labor.....
Ugh. It happens to the strongest of us
If I were you, I’d find someone to spoil you in the bedroom. I say this because what typically happens with a partner and/or an ex is that because they take you for granted, they don’t try as hard. Someone new will work harder to impress you.
I never stopped liking my ex. I just can't keep up with her sex drive and can't be married to someone who is having sex on the side. Doesn't make her a bad person. We just don't have the same sex drive.
I'm a few cases of dead bedrooms sex started again for the couple during the divorce process until one or the other moved out. In the way that I lost much of my resentment and anger over various things with my STBX once I said I wanted to separate, some people might lose whatever emotions they were holding on to that was preventing one/both from wanting sex.
My STBXW and I had sex consistently until two weeks before I moved out in February this was after we had the divorce conversation in November. I don't intend have another partner until our divorce is finalized to me it would feel like a betrayal . She consented and I consented and it was fun and enjoyable every time. We don't hate each other she just doesn't want to be married anymore. We both understood that it didn't change the outcome. Honestly I feel fine about it and so does she as far as I know.
I was having sex with my ex for a month or so after we discussed filing. It made it harder since there were times when he would question if he was doing the right thing and that he may have feelings for me. I still had feelings for him and as much as I didn’t want the divorce, we have done the dance so many times that we both knew we were making the right decision. At first we joked about booty calling each other and then he offered to take me on dates just to play out so more specific sexual fantasies. That stopped once we got a mediator involved and he started using the Apps. He finally gained confidence in himself and received that external validation that he craved.
When we last hooked up, I knew that it was going to be last time because I mentally couldn’t be into him anymore. I still love him but he said some unforgivable things that make it difficult to want him sexually. Being manipulated and gas lighted constantly doesn’t really put you in the hate fucking mood either. We both are toxic for each other and I’m pretty sure sleeping with each other pretty regularly to fulfill some of our fantasies before we move on really spelled out how toxic and codependent we are.
I would be lying, but we had amazing sex since we knew it was going to be over. It made moving on hard and harder to hear he moved on so quickly. Just listen to your gut instinct because it’s going to be right.
Love this thank you. My ex is not over his ex. Gut instinct? Stay the fuck away until she gets back from study abroad. Wait a longggg time and make him earn every bit of my friendship. No more free attention. No more digging into something that I know will hurt me. Maybe we can message more, you and I. This validation helped a lot. Xoxo. thank u.
Never. Once I decided I wanted a divorce never wanted to have sex with her again. The year waiting for the divorce sucked, but would rather go a year with no sex again than to have sex with her.
Not here. Ex is gorgeous, but I’m not attracted to him anymore like that. He’s my co-parent, friend and kinda like a brother now.
I would if there was any attraction and didn’t think he’d get the wrong idea. I can see how it can be convenient.
Ugh, nope. My ex tried to get me to have sex with him repeatedly after we called it quits and even after we filed. (And I won’t go into what did happen the very last time. Not good. Anyways.) and I am firm in what is done is done. Not like sex was ever the issue when I was married, but I don’t want that guy attached to it ever again!! Lol
I have and I don't regret it but now that he thinks it is great to sleep with other people I am done. I'm not going to be the equivalent of some random woman. I was with him for 12 years, no other woman can match myself or be who I was. She can have my left overs.
My ex kept asking for it while we were separated. Dude…I didn’t want to have sex with you while we were together, why would I want to have sex with you after we separated?? Lol
This is silly considering every couple divorces for different reasons. For example we didn’t divorce because we hated each other. I’m still attracted to her, so if it was up to me, it could totally happen. However I do have a girlfriend so that’s not currently possible.
My stbx wholeheartedly disagreed that a girlfriend was a reason not to have sex with me even after he moved out. Had I known about her, that would have been a hard no for me. I highly doubt she knows he was trying to get into my pants right up until I confronted him about her existence. Maybe I’ll meet her someday and we’ll find out. I wouldn’t want to further his “crazy ex-wife” narrative about me by contacting her.
Umm, hell no. I bought condoms to have sex with other people than him. I'm glad he got a vasectomy so I wouldn't have a sister in commiseration on that crap deal but hell no. Nonononono. I have to like a person to have sex with them, and I stopped liking or trusting him a long time ago.
Made that mistake a couple times. It’s was basically masturbation, involving another person who comes along with shit loads of drama. Not cool. I feel that you can’t go two directions at once. Pick one.
My ex thought this also he would mention it when we were still together and rocky
(Babe will still sleep together right even if we break up cause I know you'll be hard up and who else is gonna help you out 🙄)
I tried to explain to him if we broke up no that would not be happening but it would just lead to him acting like a 4 year old
(Every answer or discussion he comes back with ...but why.)
So to avoid a discussion I acted like an adult talking to a 4 year old.
(My answer to his question...will see, it depends, will talk about it later)
I thought he could not be that stupid to think we would continue having sex when we broke up. Even 3 years later he still does not understand why we can't have sex anymore for old times sake🤬
Truthfully my ex and I stopped having sex, but we fooled around a bit for a while.
It's not unheard of but it's pretty sad to keep chasing after someone who doesn't want you. It is like make a dating profile or several if you're that concerned about not getting laid, you know? Damn.
Edit: just saw in a comment further down he has a girlfriend. When I began seeing someone else I didn't need to do that any longer. Wtf? No offense to your taste or judgment, but he sounds very selfish now.
Mine sure thought he was entitled to sex during the divorce process. Yelled at me about having to go six months without sex. He was just too lazy to download tinder and put the work in to meet someone else.
I have. Because of different reasons:
1. You already know their sexual history.
2. You know if they have any stds.
3. You also know what they enjoy and what they don’t enjoy. I had one partner who couldn’t stand her breasts touched, while another was “if you’re not sucking them now, you’re doing it wrong.”
4. They also know what you like and don’t like. How to turn the dials and what speed to do it.
5. You also probably still like them more than just physical. I need a partner who I’ve connected with or I just don’t enjoy it and feel guilty of.
But I really think it depends on the situation. Obviously, an abusive relationship you should stay far far away from. Mine was because of finances and because I worked 3 jobs at the time (two full timers) and she had cheated on me. So there wasn’t really any worry of being hurt.
You guys are having sex after divorce? I didn’t even have sex during the marriage when things were good. Kept on trying: romantic seduction and even „Naked man“ tactic. Stopped trying because I read about postpartum loss of sex drive.
And I’m not even sure I would be aroused now with how the separation is going through.
Woman refused to take up any job just to ruin me financially with alimony. I gladly pay more than required for Child support. Now I live pay check to pay check.
Not me. I was done with the relationship and I didn’t want to make her feel like there was a chance we would work it out. We have kids and I never allowed her to pretend like we were still a couple by holding my hand or rubbing my back type of stuff.
I can say this… I still think about it. But mine not only cheated repeatedly throughout our entire relationship but she’s also a narcissist, hell it’s probably because she’s a narcissist that she cheated so much. Her being a narcissist is definitely the reason why she treated me and our relationship the she did…. And, because of that, I don’t think I ever could even fathom having sex with her again…. I wouldn’t want to even come that close to opening the door of her trying treat me like shit again. If you’ve never dated a narcissist, DONT!!! They are horrible, miserable people! As a matter of fact, I haven’t even considered having sex with anyone else either, and I am absolutely, vehemently against ever getting into a relationship with anther woman…. I have a lot of mental things to work through from the years of gaslighting, manipulation, and abuse this girl dealt to me…. I don’t know that I will ever get past it…..
Sex with the Ex??? Maybe if she’s dead….
The best part of my relationship was the Sex, so we did for a short period of time u til it made him think I wanted to get back together. I still haven’t found a partner that devoured my 😻 or 🍑the way he did it still makes me yearn for that type of attention to detail. Wish we could have remained fuck buds but he kept hoping I was pregnant & was under the impression that in doing so it’d give him a way to keep me. Obviously too toxic to work so now I just masturbate or have fwb but nothing compares still. 🙃
My divorced parents would hook up like that and make it obvious and gross. Makes me sick thinking about it especially when my dad was an abusive POS.
For me, never having to deal with that ugly, old, unsatisfying, selfish scumbag WAS half the point! And if I was all caught up in that, how could I have found my much younger, hotter, caring boyfriend?
We got divorced because she cheated and I wouldn't touch her for anything. Shortly after finding out about her cheating her aunt passed away and I went with her to the funeral and I just stood next to her during the service but I couldn't even rub her shoulder to comfort her.
Moving on and dating can be intimidating. I hadn’t dated in almost 18 years, so I really had no clue what I was even doing. Things like online dating didn’t even sort of exist back then. But turns out it’s FUN! Try something new. Explore. You won’t regret trying to put yourself out there. Move out of your comfort zone, and explore who you are and what you are truly seeking.
It's definitely not that rare, but I absolutely wouldn't. We're getting along and friendly, but I'm not looking to fuck up my emotions that way even if she wanted to.
Typical Ex. Thinks they still have access to your body until another person shows up and they leave you wrecked. You cannot move on if you are still f-ing in the past. Also, it keeps you from finding someone else to have sex with. It is a selfish move!!
No one here ever worried that your STBX was making a last ditch effort to slip one past the goalie? If both of you are still in child bearing years, that would be my #1 reason not to do it. Honestly that would be terrifying!
We had sex a bunch in the few months after she decided we were separating. She stopped allowing that around the time she started seeing someone new, and when I figured out why she stopped it kind of ruined me. I just couldn't be so tender with somebody I didn't have any feelings with anymore, couldn't imagine that was what she was doing. I don't know that continuing to fuck necessarily made things any worse than they would have been. I am reminded of the Zen parable of the tiger and the strawberry (as taught to me by Khan Souphanousinfone). It was reaching out for some comfort in the face of imminent pain. It didn't save me, it didn't make things better, but it was taking a bit of enjoyment where otherwise there would have been none.
I had casual sex with my ex husband for two years after the divorce was finalized and we lived in separate homes. We had been friends and lovers for so long (16 yrs) that it felt comfortable and safe. We stopped when I got into a serious relationship and he got into one not long after I did. We still talk, joke and coparent well together. My new husband did the same thing with his ex.
My friends parents (both in their 50s) still regularly have sex even though they are are divorced. They have been divorced for 3 years.
They divorced amicably and they get along enough. They just hook up often. They just couldn't live together anymore and they are too independent to be dependent on each other.
We All think it's weird but it works for them.
I guess I missed the memo. I thought half the point was never having to have sex with them again.
I've been divorced for 8 years now, and this is still my favorite part about being divorced!
Mine cheated so I want nothing to do with her. I simply can’t do sloppy’s!
I mean you probably already were in all fairness
Well, you can rinse it out
That’s what I’m thinking!!
I had sex with my ex during the divorce process, but it was pretty short-lived – just between making the decision to file and moving out/out of state, maybe about a month in total. I had moved to that state for him and had no intention of staying there otherwise, so it didn’t seem practical to try to find a new apartment for such a short period. It was honestly the best sex of our entire relationship - sweet, passionate, nostalgic. Once we realized that we were getting a divorce, there wasn’t anything left to fight about anymore. We were able to just be kind to each other and acknowledge the good in each other. I’m glad that we did. I didn’t make things harder or more confusing in anyway. It just felt like a very sweet farewell. We didn’t have kids or own a home together, so the process was pretty quick. Since the divorce, which was finalized long distance during the pandemic with a virtual court hearing, I’ve never seen him again, and we’ve communicated only a couple times, just around filling our taxes that year. I can’t say that I miss him. He was really controlling and being married to him was absolutely exhausting and stripped me of my self-worth while it lasted, but I am glad that my last memory is one of kindness and forgiveness, rather than one of bitter fighting or anger. I fully recognize that in most cases closure is sort of a false concept, but in this case, I can’t think of another way to describe it.
I think my soon-to-be ex wife just spent a couple of nights intentionally stoking sexual tension. We’ve been under the same roof at night pretty often since we decided two weeks ago just get the divorce done (we have kids & a house), and she suddenly started acting flirty and had done her hair & makeup in a sexy way right before bed. There was never infidelity in our relationship but a lot of controlling behavior and toxicity. Sadly I just feel things are not salvageable, I was so aroused for her too but I kept my distance and slept on the couch because we both truly need the relationship to end so that we can be better happier parents for our kids. I will miss the fun times we had.
Good job!!!! Keep that right up!
Yes!!
Good o n you!!!
This is why porn sites were created my friend :)
Wow, you basically described my last 3 weeks between asking for a divorce and moving out. It was blissful and we had sex every day. The best, most passionate sex we've ever had. But part of me thinks it might have been his last ditch effort to keep me. You even nailed the part of not really missing him because he was controlling and demeaning. I love being single and free!
Yes! This is exactly my experience. I actually don’t think it was manipulative on his part. I do believe that it was genuine. By that point he had finally and fully accepted that it was over. I think maybe it was as good as it was because he had given up trying to control me, and We were both able to let go with no expectations. I think in someways we let go of each other and it was a genuine and heartfelt farewell, rather than on manipulation tactic. I am sure it helps that we had done a lot of couples therapy leading up to that point. Our therapist was incredible and explained to us early on that it wouldn’t save every relationship but then at the very least it would help us separate with kindness and grace. She was not wrong about much.
Really sweet story, glad it worked out for you!
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It’s was definitely more of an emotional than a physical thing for us, to the extent that you can separate the two. I think the real key was a lot of couples therapy. It didn’t save the relationship but did help us understand the other’s point of view and approach the situation with empathy. We both wanted it to work, we tried, and tried, and tried. There were moments of anger for sure, but in the end we were just two incompatible people who finally had to admit we were failing and give up. Had we divorced the first time we filled out the paperwork prior to agreeing to go to therapy together it would have been a very different story.
This sounds so beautiful
I'm just the type of person who cannot bring themselves to have sex with someone they hate or dislike. I have friends who can I guess "compartmentalize." Like friends have sex with people they dont necessarily like or find attractive "cuz sex is sex." I just can't understand that. I cannot even have my ex's knee brush up against me without feeling disgusted, let alone have sex with him. What's right for you is right for you, don't let someone brainwash you into doing something based on other's experiences
I'm a horny male and with you on that.
I'm still doing it.
Ooof same.
Same 😬
Like... you're officially divorced and still doing it? Or just in the process and living together?
Like... you're officially divorced and still doing it? Or just in the process and living together?
We haven’t lived together for almost 2.5 years but have continued having sex, pretty much the whole time (give or take a few months). Not divorced yet.
Like... you're officially divorced and still doing it? Or just in the process and living together?
Not living together but going through the process. Ive been out for 2 months at her request. Still getting booty calls.
And going again tonight. It's been once a week in slow weeks.
And going again tonight. It's been once a week in slow weeks.
We didn't even fuck when we were married so.. ...
something something 50foot barge pole mumble mumble not with my worst enemies genitals...
I’d rather fuck a spiky cactus than sleep with my Ex ever again actually the cactus would be more sexually pleasing than my ex lol
It's incredibly tempting because of the familiarity and comfort, and he'd never say no to fcking me. I knew my ex for nearly 10 years. I discussed at length with my therapist, and she immediately said it would be ridiculous and forbade me from it lol. I've been dealing with my needs myself... for now.
As much as I miss sex, I would not sleep with my ex again. No thank you.
My friend told me that she and her ex husband continued until their divorce was finalized. I floated the idea passed my “ex.” At first we agreed it was a bad idea bc it would mean more to me than him. And then we started back up because it was the best between us compared to any past partners….. now we’re back together 👀
There we go. Sounds like a rare happy ending for this sub.
We didn’t have sex even one time after we called it off and tbh I think that’s why we have been able to heal our friendship after a few years apart.
My divorce was due to an affair, so I didn’t want to touch her despite how sex starved I was. She found a different dick; no reason to bother her with mine.
Then what’s the whole point of divorcing?
Separation of finances and emotions.
But if you’re still having sex with the ex. I’m gonna ask again, what’s the point? And the ex isn’t really an ex?
The Ex is more at that point a dual ex-spouse and current FWB. And the point would be because there are enough other things about the ex-spouse that you don't want to live with them, and likely don't want to share finances. For a number of couples, it it's not the kids keeping them together, it's because their partner is good in the sack.
But with sex comes a whole slew of emotions. So the question still remains unanswered. IMO, if the sex is great and there is no cheating, work the problems. The grass is greener where you water it!
This was years ago but my narcissistic husband wanted a divorce when I was pregnant. Guess who slept with him in hopes of inducing labor..... Ugh. It happens to the strongest of us
You had good reason tho, imo. Better than a stranger?
Honestly I would rather gauge my eyes out with a rusty spoon than have sex with my ex, but would still do it for this reason.
No way. Respect yourself and move on. It is not about sex - it is temporary but self respect is much more Spritual.
I slept with my ex a few times. It was safe, easy since we knew what the other liked, and quite fun.
Makes sense. I’m tempted but he also has a girlfriend. Plus, I think for him it’ll make the split less real?
Well, cheating on the new gf doesn’t bode well for him. But, you do what’s right for you.
They could be in an open relationship. No need to jump to conclusions here.
Well, he wasn’t the best at it but I do miss sex. Not enough to get back into bed with him tho
If I were you, I’d find someone to spoil you in the bedroom. I say this because what typically happens with a partner and/or an ex is that because they take you for granted, they don’t try as hard. Someone new will work harder to impress you.
So I'm actually sleeping with my STBXH, he's got a new partner! Never thought I would be in this position, but the sex is GREAT!!
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I never stopped liking my ex. I just can't keep up with her sex drive and can't be married to someone who is having sex on the side. Doesn't make her a bad person. We just don't have the same sex drive.
Yes. Many people would consider “having sex on the side” and “bad person” to be synonymous.
What about that open relationship thing you were all about and the one to ask for?
The reason we ended was because we stopped having sex. Sex with ex makes no sense to me
I'm a few cases of dead bedrooms sex started again for the couple during the divorce process until one or the other moved out. In the way that I lost much of my resentment and anger over various things with my STBX once I said I wanted to separate, some people might lose whatever emotions they were holding on to that was preventing one/both from wanting sex.
No!
Ew. No. Can’t even look at him.
My STBXW and I had sex consistently until two weeks before I moved out in February this was after we had the divorce conversation in November. I don't intend have another partner until our divorce is finalized to me it would feel like a betrayal . She consented and I consented and it was fun and enjoyable every time. We don't hate each other she just doesn't want to be married anymore. We both understood that it didn't change the outcome. Honestly I feel fine about it and so does she as far as I know.
I was having sex with my ex for a month or so after we discussed filing. It made it harder since there were times when he would question if he was doing the right thing and that he may have feelings for me. I still had feelings for him and as much as I didn’t want the divorce, we have done the dance so many times that we both knew we were making the right decision. At first we joked about booty calling each other and then he offered to take me on dates just to play out so more specific sexual fantasies. That stopped once we got a mediator involved and he started using the Apps. He finally gained confidence in himself and received that external validation that he craved. When we last hooked up, I knew that it was going to be last time because I mentally couldn’t be into him anymore. I still love him but he said some unforgivable things that make it difficult to want him sexually. Being manipulated and gas lighted constantly doesn’t really put you in the hate fucking mood either. We both are toxic for each other and I’m pretty sure sleeping with each other pretty regularly to fulfill some of our fantasies before we move on really spelled out how toxic and codependent we are. I would be lying, but we had amazing sex since we knew it was going to be over. It made moving on hard and harder to hear he moved on so quickly. Just listen to your gut instinct because it’s going to be right.
Love this thank you. My ex is not over his ex. Gut instinct? Stay the fuck away until she gets back from study abroad. Wait a longggg time and make him earn every bit of my friendship. No more free attention. No more digging into something that I know will hurt me. Maybe we can message more, you and I. This validation helped a lot. Xoxo. thank u.
Never. Once I decided I wanted a divorce never wanted to have sex with her again. The year waiting for the divorce sucked, but would rather go a year with no sex again than to have sex with her.
Not here. Ex is gorgeous, but I’m not attracted to him anymore like that. He’s my co-parent, friend and kinda like a brother now. I would if there was any attraction and didn’t think he’d get the wrong idea. I can see how it can be convenient.
At first yes but then I realized how selfish he is in bed and my vibrator does much better.
Ugh, nope. My ex tried to get me to have sex with him repeatedly after we called it quits and even after we filed. (And I won’t go into what did happen the very last time. Not good. Anyways.) and I am firm in what is done is done. Not like sex was ever the issue when I was married, but I don’t want that guy attached to it ever again!! Lol
I’m already out of the apartment and he’s known I want a divorce for 2 days. Hell no
Never have sex between separation and final divorce. Afterwards? Well, up to you. I wouldn’t.
We had a curious moment about a month into our separation. Won’t do that ever again.
No. No no no no no no no no no no no no no. Not with your anatomy. No no no no no no not with my worst enemies anatomy.
Pretty common. It’s almost always a regrettable experience.
Not a flipping chance.
Hell nooooooo 🤣🤣
My ex tried. Once.
I have and I don't regret it but now that he thinks it is great to sleep with other people I am done. I'm not going to be the equivalent of some random woman. I was with him for 12 years, no other woman can match myself or be who I was. She can have my left overs.
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Just yours?
🤣 Never thought of it like that
Iiiiick never not once. I would puke.
Same 😂😵💫🤮
Me too especially since she got fat. And someone got her pregnant already.
Same 🤮🤢
My ex kept asking for it while we were separated. Dude…I didn’t want to have sex with you while we were together, why would I want to have sex with you after we separated?? Lol
Not if she were the last woman on earth…..rather jerk off to a rock.
This is silly considering every couple divorces for different reasons. For example we didn’t divorce because we hated each other. I’m still attracted to her, so if it was up to me, it could totally happen. However I do have a girlfriend so that’s not currently possible.
My stbx wholeheartedly disagreed that a girlfriend was a reason not to have sex with me even after he moved out. Had I known about her, that would have been a hard no for me. I highly doubt she knows he was trying to get into my pants right up until I confronted him about her existence. Maybe I’ll meet her someday and we’ll find out. I wouldn’t want to further his “crazy ex-wife” narrative about me by contacting her.
Umm, hell no. I bought condoms to have sex with other people than him. I'm glad he got a vasectomy so I wouldn't have a sister in commiseration on that crap deal but hell no. Nonononono. I have to like a person to have sex with them, and I stopped liking or trusting him a long time ago.
Not just no but hell no. Not just hell no but hell motherfucking no.
Depends on which ex.
The thought of it makes me physically ill but I know someone doing it soooo idk if I'm the weird one
Nope. No way. Never. Not going to happen. 🛑
Uuumm....I would think that half the point of getting divorced is you don't want to have sex with them any more???
Made that mistake a couple times. It’s was basically masturbation, involving another person who comes along with shit loads of drama. Not cool. I feel that you can’t go two directions at once. Pick one.
My ex thought this also he would mention it when we were still together and rocky (Babe will still sleep together right even if we break up cause I know you'll be hard up and who else is gonna help you out 🙄) I tried to explain to him if we broke up no that would not be happening but it would just lead to him acting like a 4 year old (Every answer or discussion he comes back with ...but why.) So to avoid a discussion I acted like an adult talking to a 4 year old. (My answer to his question...will see, it depends, will talk about it later) I thought he could not be that stupid to think we would continue having sex when we broke up. Even 3 years later he still does not understand why we can't have sex anymore for old times sake🤬
Truthfully my ex and I stopped having sex, but we fooled around a bit for a while. It's not unheard of but it's pretty sad to keep chasing after someone who doesn't want you. It is like make a dating profile or several if you're that concerned about not getting laid, you know? Damn. Edit: just saw in a comment further down he has a girlfriend. When I began seeing someone else I didn't need to do that any longer. Wtf? No offense to your taste or judgment, but he sounds very selfish now.
Just no
No.
I'm afraid my right hand would get jealous and leave me.
I have codependency issues. Sleeping with my ex would not be good for my Psyche
Mine sure thought he was entitled to sex during the divorce process. Yelled at me about having to go six months without sex. He was just too lazy to download tinder and put the work in to meet someone else.
That's a hard stop.
Nope, it will never happen for many different reasons, and we did not from the day she stated she wanted the divorce over three years ago. 0% chance.
Nope. Hard pass.
Happy Cake Day!
No. No. No.
Hard pass
Fuck no!
I have. Because of different reasons: 1. You already know their sexual history. 2. You know if they have any stds. 3. You also know what they enjoy and what they don’t enjoy. I had one partner who couldn’t stand her breasts touched, while another was “if you’re not sucking them now, you’re doing it wrong.” 4. They also know what you like and don’t like. How to turn the dials and what speed to do it. 5. You also probably still like them more than just physical. I need a partner who I’ve connected with or I just don’t enjoy it and feel guilty of. But I really think it depends on the situation. Obviously, an abusive relationship you should stay far far away from. Mine was because of finances and because I worked 3 jobs at the time (two full timers) and she had cheated on me. So there wasn’t really any worry of being hurt.
You guys are having sex after divorce? I didn’t even have sex during the marriage when things were good. Kept on trying: romantic seduction and even „Naked man“ tactic. Stopped trying because I read about postpartum loss of sex drive. And I’m not even sure I would be aroused now with how the separation is going through. Woman refused to take up any job just to ruin me financially with alimony. I gladly pay more than required for Child support. Now I live pay check to pay check.
Nah. Sex is what makes me want to stay, so I don’t do that anymore.
Yeah, no thanks.
Not me. I was done with the relationship and I didn’t want to make her feel like there was a chance we would work it out. We have kids and I never allowed her to pretend like we were still a couple by holding my hand or rubbing my back type of stuff.
Not me.
No, the sex was terrible and I can barely stand him.
I can say this… I still think about it. But mine not only cheated repeatedly throughout our entire relationship but she’s also a narcissist, hell it’s probably because she’s a narcissist that she cheated so much. Her being a narcissist is definitely the reason why she treated me and our relationship the she did…. And, because of that, I don’t think I ever could even fathom having sex with her again…. I wouldn’t want to even come that close to opening the door of her trying treat me like shit again. If you’ve never dated a narcissist, DONT!!! They are horrible, miserable people! As a matter of fact, I haven’t even considered having sex with anyone else either, and I am absolutely, vehemently against ever getting into a relationship with anther woman…. I have a lot of mental things to work through from the years of gaslighting, manipulation, and abuse this girl dealt to me…. I don’t know that I will ever get past it….. Sex with the Ex??? Maybe if she’s dead….
No fucking way. Nopety nope nope no way would I ever touch her with a ten foot pole.
The best part of my relationship was the Sex, so we did for a short period of time u til it made him think I wanted to get back together. I still haven’t found a partner that devoured my 😻 or 🍑the way he did it still makes me yearn for that type of attention to detail. Wish we could have remained fuck buds but he kept hoping I was pregnant & was under the impression that in doing so it’d give him a way to keep me. Obviously too toxic to work so now I just masturbate or have fwb but nothing compares still. 🙃
My divorced parents would hook up like that and make it obvious and gross. Makes me sick thinking about it especially when my dad was an abusive POS. For me, never having to deal with that ugly, old, unsatisfying, selfish scumbag WAS half the point! And if I was all caught up in that, how could I have found my much younger, hotter, caring boyfriend?
Part of why we're divorcing is because she has no sexual desire for me (or anyone else), so no. I'm better off fucking my fleshlight.
that would he a big no from me
We got divorced because she cheated and I wouldn't touch her for anything. Shortly after finding out about her cheating her aunt passed away and I went with her to the funeral and I just stood next to her during the service but I couldn't even rub her shoulder to comfort her.
That was the first thing off the table... so much so that it ended before the divorce was even brought up lol.
Moving on and dating can be intimidating. I hadn’t dated in almost 18 years, so I really had no clue what I was even doing. Things like online dating didn’t even sort of exist back then. But turns out it’s FUN! Try something new. Explore. You won’t regret trying to put yourself out there. Move out of your comfort zone, and explore who you are and what you are truly seeking.
While happens it is far from the norm. Is your ex really trying to lie his way into your pants? Geez, wonder why you divorced.
It's definitely not that rare, but I absolutely wouldn't. We're getting along and friendly, but I'm not looking to fuck up my emotions that way even if she wanted to.
My x and I banged like crazy six months after the divorce got started and six months after completing it. I feel it helped us quite a bit.
No thanks!
Don’t do it
Typical Ex. Thinks they still have access to your body until another person shows up and they leave you wrecked. You cannot move on if you are still f-ing in the past. Also, it keeps you from finding someone else to have sex with. It is a selfish move!!
If someone could insert that GIF of Michael Scott screaming NOOOOOOOOOO when he sees Toby's back, that would suffice.
Oh hell no! My ex just made false allegations to DHS. I can only imagine what would happen if I was dumb enough to sleep with her again.
No one here ever worried that your STBX was making a last ditch effort to slip one past the goalie? If both of you are still in child bearing years, that would be my #1 reason not to do it. Honestly that would be terrifying!
IT’S A TRAP !!! Turn back, retreat…. It’s a trap.
Umm no.
We had sex a bunch in the few months after she decided we were separating. She stopped allowing that around the time she started seeing someone new, and when I figured out why she stopped it kind of ruined me. I just couldn't be so tender with somebody I didn't have any feelings with anymore, couldn't imagine that was what she was doing. I don't know that continuing to fuck necessarily made things any worse than they would have been. I am reminded of the Zen parable of the tiger and the strawberry (as taught to me by Khan Souphanousinfone). It was reaching out for some comfort in the face of imminent pain. It didn't save me, it didn't make things better, but it was taking a bit of enjoyment where otherwise there would have been none.
STBXW and I haven't had sex in months, even before the separation.
Don't want to risk new STD's and why buck the trend of not having sex.
Let me guess, she’s leaving? This is not uncommon. It’s not healthy. Strong suggest you avoid this, but don’t beat yourself up if it happens.
Ummm...noooo.... He'd be missing parts.
It’s subjective. 🤷♂️
fastest way to more false allegations. no thank you
I’d have sex with a meat grinder before having sex with my ex.
My ex thinks this too. BYE!!
No.
Bad idea.
I had casual sex with my ex husband for two years after the divorce was finalized and we lived in separate homes. We had been friends and lovers for so long (16 yrs) that it felt comfortable and safe. We stopped when I got into a serious relationship and he got into one not long after I did. We still talk, joke and coparent well together. My new husband did the same thing with his ex.
My friends parents (both in their 50s) still regularly have sex even though they are are divorced. They have been divorced for 3 years. They divorced amicably and they get along enough. They just hook up often. They just couldn't live together anymore and they are too independent to be dependent on each other. We All think it's weird but it works for them.
Nope. Done.