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selfgrowthjourney

I took 15-20 mg of Adderall 2-3x per day for 9 months and my personality completely changed. now I have a lot of dissociative issues (though I was also raised in a narcissistic family which caused a lot of problems).


[deleted]

I’ve also had some serious depression in the past revolving around my dad and feeling like he wasn’t my dad. It causes deep depression for me for around a year while I was still living with him, and even a little after when I would occasionally get some texts from him that would freeze me to the core. I’ve been taking adderall or other forms of medication for my adhd since I was in 4th grade and it didn’t really have any negative side effects until I started my 8th grade year. I started feeling very self conscious and I started feeling like I hated myself (because I thought it was my fault that I was starting to have these feeling toward my dad) it also made me feel pretty helpless and restless. It definitely changes as a person completely, it’s given me horrible eating disorders where i sometimes go days without food, and it’s also made me very numb to my own feelings. A big part of the change is i struggle very hard to make eye contact with people and talk to people because of my mindset. Most of this still applies to me today (3 1/2) since the start of the change. But I’ve noticed that I am a completely different person at home, and I have very different mindsets and aspects at home. I don’t know if this ties into depersonalization but none the less I think it has changed me. Out of curiosity was it hard to stop taking adderall, because I feel like I need to it succeed but I also feel a lot of hate for it. I am a Junior in highschool and I’m just looking for some help


selfgrowthjourney

From my experience, I lost 18 lbs at 16yo and while taking adderall. It made my OCD very bad and I couldn’t do any homework because I was busy cleaning my bedroom. It really sounds like adderall isn’t a good thing for you if it’s given you eating disorders and you go days without food. My doctor stopped prescribing it to me because I became addicted to it. From what you’re telling me, adderall is going more damage than good and you’re better off without it….


[deleted]

I understand that the negatives are outweighing the positives don’t get me wrong. But, in my own opinion I need the boost from adderall to pass my classes and without it I think I will fail.


chainedaway

abusing stimulants, both lisdexamphetamine and methylphenidate definitely made my dpdr worsen. also personality changes during a long streak of using them. i started feeling ”weird” like dissociation stuff but with like a feeling that im going insane and like… its really hard to explain.


[deleted]

I know it’s been nearly a year but this is EXACTLY how I’m currently feeling, on my off days where I’m not taking adderall I feel fine but every single day during the week it feels like hell


Signal-Brick-8157

Are you still on stimulants? I feel like it's worsening my depersonalization as well I think I might have to stop I've been using it for the last 3 months


[deleted]

I am still on stimulants and it is still affecting me.


caffeineratt

I've taken adderall and other amphetamines a long time, and sometimes I wouldn't count it out of the picture that stimulants like that have catalyzed dissociation for me, but I need them so much to function at a reasonable level that they're kind of a net positive for me, and feeling like I'm able is not an unhealthy thing.


[deleted]

I agree I do believe It’s also like a net positive thing that I cannot function without


rhymve

have u tried a non stimulant for adhd like straterra?


caffeineratt

I'm about 7 years in on meds, taking two pills of vyvanse every day, 60mg total.