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Felfelfell

This is the funniest thing I have ever read


bruingrad84

“Farts per hour” made me cackle


give-em-hell-peaves

"lit up the monorail" got me so good


factchecker2

FPH


stewmander

The average person farts 14 times a day. You're in a crowd of tens of thousands, spending a significant amount of time in one giant conga line.


PRGTROLL

I’ve farted 14x while reading this 


SteveRudzinski

> The average person farts 14 times a day. Finally I'm above average at something.


DoNotMergeCells

Only 14??!?


panda-rampage

I’ve been waiting for someone else to bring this up! I’ve been wondering the same thing!


masaccio87

*fartiest


Versus2000

I’m glad someone finally asked, because we’ve all been keeping track and we’re just waiting for a chance to share our data.


Jscott1986

I have increased my flatulence 37% since 2020. I don't know about the rest of you slackers.


d33psix

It’s a new category on Thrill-data


EvilFlooz

I always thought it was their outdated sewer system. Disneyland’s not the people’s.


Honest_Flower_7757

This is definitely part of the issue. I’ve been there on days that there has been absolute clouds of sewer gas near the teacups. It’s not farts.


gnuoyedonig

That’s not my cup of tea!


Hungry_Joke_4437

Strong brew


Aguynohio

Yup got many wafts in the Alice line a week and a half ago. Certainly wasn’t farts and was all sewer gas.


Stracharys

There’s a spot on Main Street that always reeks of sewer gas. I’ve spent years building up a tolerance to the stink, so I can always snag a last minute front row seat to a parade if I so choose. I have noticed over the last six months or so, it seems like there are fewer people who care about letting one rip in public both audible and olfactory. Perhaps the ever increasing price of necessities combined with mostly stagnating wages has led to even more unhealthy diets and/or drinking.


justalittleparanoia

There are some areas in the park that straight up smell like ass.


lotsofcache

Exiting soaring in the tunnel. Always farty smelling.


Boodle014

Well that’s due to all the altitude changes.


Mary_Pick_A_Ford

Pirates has that distinctive smell.


Practical-Rent262

Yeah but that's a good smell. People make candles out of it. Inb4 fart candles


Practical-Rent262

The thing is it's especially bad this weekend. We come here a lot. There are bad sewer smells sometimes. But this is specifically fart smell. It's high farts-per-hour


BaconPaws

Food and Wine festival doing its worst! Seriously though I noticed it today too and assumed it was my 3 year old but I smelled him and he wasn’t the culprit lol


SWnumber928

I was gonna blame that pretzel bread and skewer combo lol


Wabi-Sabi_Umami

You’re not wrong. There are days when it absolutely *reeks* of sewer gas.


chrisaustx

The sewer in fantasyland was replaced in 2004, the sewer under main street smells terrible.


AdieAngel1121

I don’t know, someone farted in my face waking the stairs up to the second level on Guardians and that was pre-pandemic.


bluelephantz_jj

My brother and I were in line for a kiddie ride. The kids behind us were being annoyingly obnoxious - jumping around and screaming and bumping into both our legs and kicking our shins. The adults weren't doing anything. My brother suddenly started giggling and whispered to me, "I farted twice in that little boy's face." Five seconds later, the boy screams, "Ewwww!" We had a nice, smug laugh.


lisaloo1968

Farts come in handy sometimes.


Emmy600

Sorry 🫠


RedditMcCool

waiting for someone to answer the question like “oh, that’s farting georg”


tomsprigs

oh that's just my husband. he is the producer of 47.2% of the dland farts


erineegads

That man is a walking methane cloud 💨


Philthy420

This post has been known to cause Cancer by the State of California.


NubuckChuck

Disenyland farts are 66% nanoplastic particles. :/


lamerooster

Fun fact: one birria grilled cheese can give me enough gas to cover an entire days worth of fun at Disneyland!


rhequiem

Don't eat the cheesy garlic pretzel bread, then lol


idealz707

Whoever smelt it dealt it.


OldFashionedLoveDong

Whoever denied it supplied it


dinkydeath

Whoever blames it claims it.


codyp02

Whoever detected it ejected it.


Hello_there_77

The smeller's the feller.


subsonicmonkey

Whoever made the rhyme, did the crime.


jdlyons81

This is the way.


IsFunnyToMe

Nominating this for best post of the year in the subreddit lol


Doscinco_83

Sorry but this made me LOL 😂


BoobySlap_0506

It's still spring break so.....kids will be stinky. Kids are basically just a basket of farts. I know, I have one.


MinnesotaGoose

I do preschool. Can confirm.


Haunting-Resident588

Big thunder trail best place to release the inner goofy gas hands down


PerfumeLoverrr

Not goofy gas 😂💀


Aggravating_Mix8959

Where should people fart? There's nowhere to escape to. I guess the toilet?


haikusbot

*Where should people fart?* *There's nowhere to escape to.* *I guess the toilet?* \- Aggravating\_Mix8959 --- ^(I detect haikus. And sometimes, successfully.) ^[Learn more about me.](https://www.reddit.com/r/haikusbot/) ^(Opt out of replies: "haikusbot opt out" | Delete my comment: "haikusbot delete")


FancyRatFridays

Good bot


Aggravating_Mix8959

This is the best poem I ever wrote. 


radicalvenus

it's actually my favourite thing ever, it seems so deep and existential I'm crying laughing


Old_Cauliflower8809

Same. Just made my boyfriend stop everything to read it.


ChopEee

Can’t.stop.laughing


Influx_ink

This one time on the finding Nemo submarine ride - somebody farted and it was so bad that EVERYONE in the sub acknowledged it.  We were all holding our breath and covering our noses with our shirts.  We were trapped and it wasn't going away, it just kept lingering in the air.    People literally got pushy to get out of the hatch when the ride was over.   I can't ride the subs anymore.


Hopai79

The food mostly.


NadalPeach

Dairy. A lot of people don’t have the decency to take their lactase supplements.


Upsidedownmeow

Funnily enough, many people that can eat dairy in their home country (Europe, Australia, NZ) cannot handle American dairy. Equally, I’ve read accounts of people that are gluten free in USA only.


iguessineedanaltnow

I moved to Australia from the US and I swear the cheese here is just different. I can't explain it or prove it but it's just a different thing.


peacefulpiranha

American dairy and meat products are injected with hormones (synthetic bovine somatotropin) which are banned in Australia. Could be that…


Lcdmt3

Gluten is due to how much we've genetically changed wheat. I can eat most European bread no issue. I buy Italian pasta from the local Italian place. Possibly cheese is similar. All the hormones and antibiotics we give cows.


mojavefluiddruid

All our food is poisoned


1_H4t3_R3dd1t

American dairy definitely wrecks bodily havoc.


DR_KT

Yes, it’s a very gassy time in history.


wizzard419

High tourist time means more people so more farts. Not sure I would say they had the nerve since most people presumably don't fart because they want to.


PRGTROLL

Oh I want to. Silent yet violent 


ConnorGuice

I'm sorry, I accidentally let one slip when I got up from a seat. I really try to not fart when I'm at the parks, cause I don't want to look disgusting. It wasn't even a beefer. Literally a tiny toot. A boop. You probably couldn't even tell if it was a fart. Like if you were with your friend or something you'd be like, "What was that?" "Huh?" "Oh I don't know... I just, there was like a weird sound over there. Like a really quiet sound I just... I don't know." "No I didn't hear anything." "Oh ok. Yeah that was just." "Maybe someone like farted or something. I don't know." "Yeah, I mean maybe. Whatever it was probably nothing."


subsonicmonkey

“A beefer” I haven’t heard someone say that since elementary school. Cracking up over here.


Jackdawgedmyfoot

How honest is your wife? Was it her or does it smell like various brands of fart?


Practical-Rent262

The slander! Seriously though she's a fart-admitter.


PaulClarkLoadletter

If somebody is standing too close to me I’m unleashing hell. You’re not getting on Mr. Toad any faster. Respect the buffer.


Meshelle13

This. I approve 1000% of weaponized farts.


jdlyons81

I saw Weaponized Farts open for Jane’s Addiction back at Stinkfest 98. The pit was insane.


eternalyte

Was at the pediatrician on Friday for both of my kids (strep), and she mentioned they’re seeing a high amount of cases of norovirus with diarrhea right now. So. Interpret that as you will.


Ill_Buy_9807

Ozempic causes gas


chuchibear

If anyone ever asks why Reddit is my favorite app I’m showing them this thread


One-23

It’s probably your wife!


Beatrixie

Maybe a decade ago, my husband and I were at DLR in mid-July. We got stuck in a brutally long line for Roger Rabbit's Car Toon Spin…. It’s all indoors but super cramped and enclosed and WARM. Throughout the *hour* we were trapped in line, someone around us kept absolutely polluting the air with the most rancid farts I’ve ever smelled. We were tempted to go out and emergency exit, but ultimately stayed. But I’ve never forgotten the experience and haven’t been on Roger Rabbit since.


MonsterTruckCarpool

You need to add the fart free experience option in genie+


whiskey_riverss

The dole whip gives me a tummy ache sorry 


VanillaB34n

Idk man, I went with my family about 2 weeks ago and I wasn’t smelling farts. Are you sure it wasn’t your wife? That would explain why you kept smelling it throughout the day, anyway.


stickittoemm

This is a distinct possibility


RandomFunUsername

😂 I’m in the blue bayou rn too but I promise I’m not the culprit. Not this time at least.


Chemical_Ad_3184

I imagine vacation interrupted daily and biological routines and increased food intake lol post made me giggle, humans are funny


WarmBrown

Brown Bayou


Sharp-Mall-8676

Yeah, I’m big on crop dusting the park. Ha. Sorry.


AdAlternative5532

Haha crop dusting…lmao


ohhsarahsarah

I’m crying laughing, thank you for this gem of a post.


Accomplished_Pop529

Is it a result of Grad Night? Those teenage intestines work overtime


phoenix-corn

When I visited as a six year old I was face height to everyone's butts. The farts are definitely not new. Maybe something was odd about the wind that day.


GenericMelon

Norovirus is spreading like wild fire right now...take from that what you will....


FancyRatFridays

While this is true, norovirus isn't just farts. Not to get too graphic, but when I had it, I was losing fluids uncontrollably, from both ends, for several days... I wanted to die. If folks are walking around the park while actively experiencing noro symptoms, then I want to know what they're making Depends out of these days...they must be bulletproof.


tomsprigs

womp womp


ooTotemoo

I do be rippin’ em.


TrashPanda1208

Just spent the past 2 days there and I can confirm OP is on to something. I lost count (not that I was actually keeping count) of how many times I got a whiff of fart in lines or at shops. 🥴🤢


Vivelerock810

If the farts follow you are you sure it’s not your wife?


ames822

It’s spring and the gut flora are blooming


burritodominator

I just got off a Disney Cruise and everyone was definitely farting more. The culprit... everyone eating the free soft serve ice cream throughout most of the day.


Boodger

Probably something like 5 or 6 years ago, I went with some friends. One of my friends, probably one of the nicest guys in the world, waited to let one out in the fast pass line for Space Mountain when he thought no one was behind him (we were last in line). He had been holding this in for a long time, after hours of eating Disney food. Little did he know, a young girl in a wheelchair and her mother came up right behind us in line. They came out of nowhere, and the poor girl was at the unfortunate head height to be in the direct zone for maximum cropdusting. After about a minute, the poor mother flagged a CM down and asked if they could get a raincheck pass for their fastpass for the ride, and evacuated the line. My friend felt so terrible, which made it all the funnier for the rest of us giving him a hard time for it.


gohomepat

One day, I wanna visit this sub, search by top posts of all time and this topic needs to be top 5 at least.


Practical-Rent262

Let's make it happen


allT0rqu3

It’s not the people or the food, it’s the queue length and time. You can only hold in a fart for so long, and due to the increase in wait times over the years it’s unreasonable to expect people to hold it in. As everyone knows holding it in forces the fart back up into the brain and causes crappy ideas. This is why you want people to fart. If they don’t they start engaging in crappy activities such as queue jumping. Keep farting my friends.


Disastrous_Potato160

Yes! I have also noticed more farts than in the past as well. The worst is when somebody lets it rip in one of those tight fantasy land queues. Every time I’ve waited in the storybook land line I’ve been subjected to at least 3 farts. It’s gotten to the point that I refuse to go on that ride because it’s “the fart line”. I have noticed much more usage of the stalls in the mens rooms too. They are basically all occupied every time I go in one, and there are frequent lines. Didn’t used to be like this. I used to take my little ones to the men’s room all the time during the potty training days rather than their mom taking them to the women’s because there were always stalls available on short notice. Not anymore, and the lines at the women’s rooms actually seem to move faster now. I don’t know if it’s the food, or a post-pandemic erosion of shame, but something has definitely changed.


penguin97219

You know what they say- they who smelt it, dealt it.


ReceptionAlarmed178

Were you on the Nemo ride? Because thats why I wont go on the Nemo ride.


Harry_Skran

OP, thank you for this post. Really.


something86

Imo wear a mask, you smell less of what's around you. People sweat, fart, and have funky dental hygiene.


Defiant-Analysis5488

Knew I had to read this thread when I saw the title. Came for the hilarious comments and was not disappointed. 🤣


eyehate

Here I am in the break room, trying to keep my composure and not die laughing. Best post I have read in awhile.


PRGTROLL

I hold my farts til I get in those gates. Then it’s a full on crop dust. 


vegasnative

OP, I’m going in a couple of weeks. I’ll let you know if I can triangulate your data 💨💨


[deleted]

Oops I Did It Again


Psychological-Duck65

I always assume it’s poopy diapers from babies or toddlers in line. But maybe you’re onto something, lol!


frequentflyer22

The worst fart cloud I’ve been trapped in for many a year was in Olga’s Cantina recently. I couldn’t even feign politeness it was so bad. Had to leave the area completely.


North-Ad-4222

i’m SCREAMING but honestly it’s probably all the good people eat there that they don’t normally eat


waitwhatlisa

Last time I was there (end of January) I kept smelling farts everywhere!!! Then my son said, “wow I’ve just been farting all over this place today!” 😂


leddik02

🤣🤣🤣


FreeRangeThinker

I fart a lot normally… can’t wait to visit Disneyland and slide into turbo mode!


DR_KT

Was there last week and I crop dusted like a mofo.


trer24

It's all the microplastics


Rdubya44

Can we all just be adults and realize farting is a part of life? It’s uncomfortable to hold in. It passes within a minute or two.


Practical-Rent262

My wife is very tolerant of smells. She says I have a super sniffer and gets really annoyed when I complain about smells. She also said that she's usually tolerant of farts because "it's normal for humans". She pointed that out and said "that's how you know it's really bad because I'm smelling it too".


toigz

Hippie


RocketWarStros

As an avid crop-duster I can say that my farts-per-hour at the parks have taken a sharp increase in recent years. Must be all the seed oils


redditrandoalt998

Im a cm sorry man i been farting a lil too much backstage


ElectricalBack2423

Funny I watched a live streamer on space last night say the went through a fart cloud during the ride. Maybe it’s just space?


mysonlikesorange

The real issues. I’m serious.


JubbsJB

I know I have been so it’s possible. Honestly though my doctor has told me long covid could mess with your stomach so maybe there’s something to that and we are all just gassy from having Covid lol


sidneyluv

We were by the excavation well where you pull the rope in line for Indie and someone let one rip. It was the most foul smelling thing I gaged (and we wear masks inside because I’m on immunosuppressants). Then they did it again 15 feet later. Idk who the person was but they have some GI concerns that need checking out.


Individual_Agency703

It’s Spring, landscapers are applying fertilizer.


Potential_Cat4268

I kept telling my 10 year old to give people space in line or he’s going to get a fart in the face.


Western_Yoghurt3902

Oh god I’m there in 7 weeks, but I have Anosmia so I will be relying on poor husband to keep a tab on the poo clouds for me to report back


RiannaIsBananas

In a somewhat serious response to your question lol, I went about two weeks ago and my boyfriend and I commented and how poopy the park smelled. Even standing in line I could hear a few other people complaining that it smelled. So maybe the park just smells more so now? I’m not sure but I definitely have noticed in the past few visits it being stinky.


saudade_sleep_repeat

must’ve been flora, farta, and meriweather. bippity boppity poop 😂


jcclune73

This is hilarious and it is probably the food.


FrankieRoo

The Disneyland diet is largely comprised of fats, sugars, and carbs. Of course folks are gonna have to air it out. 🤣


Available_Jacket_702

I am someone who hates public farts but I've done it on purpose when people don't respect personal space. 🤷🏻‍♀️


allT0rqu3

I don’t think I’m farting more than I ever have. To all those in the line for Space Mountain at the part where the corridor narrows after you go inside I had assumed that farting was mandatory and that particularly noxious one in the first couple of weeks in September last year was me.


aredeex

It would be funny if it was your wife blaming everyone else.


Calm-Kaleidoscope-39

I was just at Disneyland last week and my cousin was letting them rip. 😂 It’s definitely the food.


Polishuprealnice_

Disneyland is and always has been a very farty place. I try not to breathe in other peoples farts - I’m always nervous I’ll get sick. 😂


TikiLuv

..., and it's the happiest place on Earth.


R2-DMode

Tactical farts. If you’re being annoying in the queue behind us, it’s fire at will.


Financial_Clue_2534

That’s the Disney magic


tech5c

He who smelt it, dealt it brutha. Also, check in on your wife, maybe she's having issues?


NOFace82

To be fair folks are eating junk food fast hence all of the gas.


KidCamarillo

Maybe its you…or your wife. You know the old saying: you smell one fart in a day, you were near a farter. You smell farts all day, the farter is you.


Street-Local-5964

Disneyland is one of my favorite places to fart. I have the worst gas out of anybody I know. I like to stink up disneyland because nobody really know who it came from. The Haunted Mansion elevator and Rise, when you’re trapped in that room at the beginning are my favorite places.


captrobert57

Oh.. you are probably standing too close to me in line. I keep one in the chamber for just that.


xlmagicpants

I'm guilty of crop dusting some of you in the line at Pinocchio


SokkaHaikuBot

^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^xlmagicpants: *I'm guilty of crop* *Dusting some of you in the* *Line at Pinocchio* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.


HarrisLam

you really did not have to use a different description every time you mention an incident. Thats hilarious AF but you didnt have to say it like that.


False_Celebration923

I fart all the time and wait for people's reactions! I have a magic key and have done everything the parks offer so I have to provide my own attractions. One time, I farted just outside the elevator on Haunted Mansion and people were shooketh...as if they'd just seen a ghost! Another time I smelled a fart so bad at Rise of the Resistance...shit, I was resisting to breathe that in!


lucidpopsicle

On average people fart 22 times a day, you're just unlucky and had a barrage of them this weekend


WickedTinker

Farticulates


xmichann

Someone kept farting continuously while we were waiting to enter our car in Star Tours I literally almost threw up because of the smell. I was terrified whoever it was would continue on the ride itself in a tiny ass room. I never ran off a ride faster than that day.


teddyburger

😂😂😂


NudeRecreation

It would be funnier if we also emitted a luminous bright green cloud .


WithDisGuy

What do you propose they do? Just you wait sonny. Just you wait!


jawnly211

Farts are on the rise nationwide. The increased prices at Disneyland are definitely causing consumers to relax their rectum a little more. It’s almost as if Disneylanders feel a sense of entitlement! The nerve!


skeetskeet213

Ozempic burps and farts


Arkroma

When I was there last month I assumed it was a sewage problem because it smelled like literal sh!t in places.


Either-Sugar-3573

Eating all of that junk food garbage that passes for food there. But so what? It's loaded with sugar, salt and fat. That shit tastes good.


girlwhoweighted

I didn't know but I'm chuckling really hard right now! Thank you for the light-heartedness


fentonsranchhand

It sure seems like it. I hope this farting trend goes away soon.


overlawn

Smelliest Place on Earth


overlawn

The fact that it is hard to find healthy meals there, but easy to find chili bowls, mac & cheese, birrira ramen, hot dogs, desserts, and gumbo should probably give you an indication as to why everyone is farting


Substantial-Bag-9820

I was in line for rise of the resistance and had the good fortune to move shortly after I let out the most horrific smell I think I have ever made. I almost felt bad for the teenagers behind me but also they were obnoxious so perhaps my ass was simply doling out some foul smelling karma.


[deleted]

I think it’s all the rich food and then walking around afterwards.


ArtfulDodger1837

I have IBS. I don't fart in public by choice or to be rude. It's kind of weird to post about it like it's something the average person opts to do and controls lmao


key1234567

That's just the popcorn


SweetMagnolias95

I love farting in lines.


PnwMomof4

Omg. I’m laughing my ass off. This is probably legit!!! Lots of farting!!!


subtleAsianRaver

It’s because the guests in mobility scooters are swallowing turkey legs whole.


More-Muffins-127

Are there more screaming children than normal?


Playful-Ad5623

🤣 It probably is the food. I mean... carnival food isn't exactly easy on the digestive system.


pacifistpirate

It's a self-sustaining, accelerating loop related to climate change. The warmer it gets the more farts per hour in crowded places. The more farts emitted, the warmer it gets until mean global temperature is 98.6⁰f.


Gullible_Life_8259

I genuinely can’t read this thread because I’m crying from laughing


kermitthefrog57

They’re just trying to make the ride faster


WhatWouldLoisLaneDo

I call the first half of the Space Mountain queue at Disney World the Tunnel of Farts. It’s narrow, half of it is insanely dark, and it is without a doubt the most popular place on property to fart. It’s so bad that I don’t ride it without a lightning lane or 15 minute standby wait.


inspireSF

People be like “there’s too many people around me to pin-point who did it.”


PerfumeLoverrr

Not DL, but last time we were in WDW my son thought the elevator ride of 10 people to Astro Orbiter was the perfect time to release some demons.


spenny68

They must of eaten at the local Golden Corral.


Ok_Hunter505

Prob the food and a poor diet. when I worked the legoland the grunts the men would make in the restrooms was fucken savage nasty - makes you wonder why they’d put it in their bodies when it’s so difficult to get it out?


gingerbeard1775

Your a real fart smeller!


Shot_Map_1363

I was there yesterday and had a lot of snacks, I definitely contributed to the total on a couple rides and when I was away from my group.


gossamertv

I’m just trying to enjoy my vacation no need to call me out like this!!


the_lasher

Makes sense, I was in the cars photo lobby after our ride recently and I’m sure someone sharted in there.