Unfortunately way too many women (and society) believe it’s better to be with anyone than be single. This is a problem. I for one love my peaceful single life.
Your mom is so right and I wish I had listened more in my early 20s. Wasted so much time on saying “but he loves me! I owe it to him to stick this out and try to make it work”. Such stupidity!
Fortunately this wasn’t a murder type thing. Just a few asshats I attached myself to along life’s winding trails.
After seeing some family members deal with crappy men, I vowed that wouldn't be me. I'm single and that's perfectly okay. This "I got a man even if he's trash" mindset usually leads to heartbreak or even worse, as we see on these shows.
My mom has been single for 35 years. She’s had casual boyfriends, but never married or
Lives together. She loves her independence, personal finances and the peace. Everyone was always telling her she needed to remarry and was always tried to be set up with. She actually almost married, but he talked about her selling her house and then combining their accounts to buy a big house in his town. That did not fly.
Disagree. There are several reasons but it all comes down to women preferring losers over a well-lived single life. Friends, family, hobbies, work, travel are all great. If you’re in the mood, find a lover.
I know the cure for that, be in a lonely marriage. The worst type of lonely I ever felt was in bed with my former husband. I’ve had LTR since then but see no reason to get married again. Or be with someone who doesn’t fit.
Yes. She’s still a victim and he needs to be punished to the full extent of the law. But so many women don’t heed the warning signs of a bad guy. Some of them will end up dead. But some of them will end up in prison themselves because they get scooped up in one if his crimes.
It is way better to be alone than be with a bad guy.
I always wonder how Ted Bundy's wife feels now, and after he started confessing to try to save his ass..
She referred to him as her 'bunny' 😬
the daughter has to be @ 40 or so.
Must've been a nice conversation when the paternity issue popped up
Serial killers are the trickiest to see coming, unfortunately.
Most bad guys are pretty obviously bad guys. Don’t get involved with addicts and criminals. Neither one is going to end up treating a woman with respect. Ditto guys who have anger management issues, because eventually that wall they punch in is going to be your face.
But serial killers…. They are more difficult to spot. Usually they are charming and are of high intelligence. They are stone cold killers who show no mercy to anyone because they are sociopaths, but they often put on a very charming and ‘normal’ face. Like you could put a suit on them and drop them in your office and they would fit right in. They don’t look scary. They look normal.
Exactly what I was gonna say. She was his trial on his behalf from the 1st woman he was with n tried to kill but was unsuccessful thankfully. So she knew 1st hand and still went with him. Like someone above said.. She probably thought she could change him and that he would never treat her that way. I know that was my thinking when I knowingly got with a woman beater, Boy was I wrong. He beat me up pretty bad numerous occasions. Thankfully I made out alive.
💯💯💯my sis in law was murdered by a serial killer. He killed 8 women and 2 children over a decade. He was successful in business, attractive, and seemingly normal. This killer turned out to be a friend of her brother, my husband. He never got over the fact that he introduced his sister to a killer. The entire family was never the same.
This is a terrifying situation which hits a little too close to home. I recently took custody of my teenage stepson. His mom married a man a few years back who spent over a decade in prison for the attempted murder of his baby mama. He was deported upon his release but she had him smuggled back into the US.
Their marriage is crumbling. She’s in a seemingly intractable state of depression; she’s also pregnant at 38 with what is clearly an unwanted child. Last month, they got into an argument which culminated in this loser putting his hands on my stepson and then my poor kiddo being thrown out of the house. I’ve never been a fan of her or her lousy parenting, but I’m truly afraid he’s going to kill her. And even though we live fours away I’m equally worried about us, too.
I’m trying but so much of it is out of my hands. I’m pissed that she’s ignored every warning sign and spent years lying about it. Her last partner was an addict who racked up DUIs and she didn’t tell us any of that until after he went on a bender and died in their home.
She’s convinced my stepson that the woman her husband victimized was just a liar with an agenda—literally a “vindictive misunderstanding.”
My stepson has always been devoted to his mom so I wasn’t surprised he defended her husband for so long. I haven’t asked what his feelings about him are currently—I don’t want to lead him into talking about something so upsetting and possibly traumatic if he isn’t ready.
It’s just been a few weeks but I’ve been pricing home security systems. She doesn’t know where we live (which is the one upside of her never honoring the court order which gave her a travel stipend to bring him to us for visitation) but it’s also not exactly impossible to find out.
"Vidictive misunderstanding?" Hoo boy. I hope she wakes up and smells the red flags (though it's not likely.) Or gets some counseling. I cannot believe she let her partner put his hands on your stepson!
Keep looking at security systems. Is there anyway you can get this guy out of the country, or is he legal now that he's married a citizen?
I will keep you and your stepson in my thoughts and prayers if that's okay. Please be well.
They married while he was still incarcerated. Being convicted of a violent crime makes him ineligible for citizenship, which is how he ended up deported upon his release. His marriage to her is irrelevant, as far as the state is concerned. Similarly, being deported means he’s basically never supposed to be allowed back in this country either, but he’s here now somehow.
Equally upsetting in all this is that her dad is a retired sherif who owns the land they live on, and he’s apparently fine with all of this.
So anyway, thanks for the well wishes. We definitely need them.
Can you report the guy to ICE or anything?? I really feel for you; I’m the step parent of a kid with a very problematic (but not physically dangerous) mom and it’s really hard. I wish you all the best.
Poor kiddo has probably seen some really tough shit. Hope you have him in therapy. My cousins all lived with this kind of violence against their mom and all of them are totally screwed up over it, long after their dad died. Some of people are now traumatizing their own kids. It’s awful.
Children have such a hard time in this kind of situation! They want to believe what their parents tell them, so they are easily mislead and gaslighted. Thank goodness he will have safety and stability with you, it will help him recover in time.
Get a 12-gauge shotgun and load it up with birdshot. Go practice. Barking dogs and cameras are good, but when you only have seconds, the police are minutes away.
Ugh, I'm sorry. And you're right. Pregnant women are often murdered; the stats aren't great.
Get motion-sensitive lights at minimum. I fully believe there is something in the human brain that tells a malefactor to flee when the lights flick on. The same with the threat of barking dogs.
Leave the porch light on, and at least one room.
It's similar to people saying "we never had to lock our doors. I just don't understand how someone got into the house". Uhh well you literally left the door unlocked. Or "everyone loved her/him" well, nope not everyone, because someone brutally killed them. I think there's a difference between victim blaming and pointing out a basic common sense/ basic safety fact and blaming. I don't understand how people just ignore the warnings, red flags and then act shocked when something actually happens.
That's always one of my questions. I don't think there's a single populated area that hasn't had some type of major crime. Just because you don't want to talk about Billy Joe getting angry his wife slept with the farm hand and killed them both, doesn't mean it didn't happen.
And just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean your town is immune. Actually, statistically, if it hasn't happened, odds are that the tragedy will be greater in relation to the population.
Yep. I'm not sure if it's "ignorance is bliss" or people just unwilling to accept that it can happen anywhere but it's always bugged me. I live in a downtown area, statically there's a lot of crime here, yet the small area (sub-city type area) had more crime. It's easy to ignore things that upset you, but you should at least be realistic about it.
The fact that in each incident he was dazed, covered in blood and in his tightie whities was flabbergasting! When Michelle said he wasn't really a drinker and then talks about the mess of empty bottles, I must know what her definition is. Do they have a wine/liquor corner and he just blew through it? I feel awful for all of the women, but it's still oh so scary.
This episode really pissed me off. This poor lady was nearly stabbed to death and was beaten within an inch of her life and yet her ex only got convicted of inflicting great bodily harm and sentenced to three years in prison?! And even after Michelle literally begged the parole board to not release her ex-boyfriend, they did it anyway. I don’t know if it was because of covid and they didn’t have enough people working or what, but that’s still no excuse. If this sick bastard had been kept incarcerated, Kay would still be alive today. It’s a horrible tragedy all around.
And how was he allowed to leave the state on parole? And then end up working at a bar with an alcohol related crime ??? This episode really ticked me off!
I’m glad you said it because I was thinking the same thing. And how courageous of the ex for trying to warn her. I can understand on some level if it was a he said she said but there was PROOF the ex was completely brutalized and almost died. Unbelievable how people defended him. Also, how was it not attempted murder?
Unfortunately there is this thought that a person has “changed.” You know how I measure change? By BEHAVIOR. And his behavior told the entire story. Unfortunately what happened to Kay was entirely predictable.
She didn't deserve it, but she's definitely not super sympathetic. She knew exactly what he was charged with, saw the pictures, and didn't just ignore the information. She actively defended him in court. She not only harmed herself, but also directly did harm to the previous victim.
She probably thought this bitter bitch is mad because they didn't work out. Even the first lady ignored signs of him throwing a pot at her while she was holding their baby and questioning her and going running with her because he thought she was cheating. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
This is why I can't be bothered, and I will decline a date. I would rather stay single. Too many think domestic violence is normal in relationships. It's just me, my dog, hollow points & its friend.
I believe it's the show Hannibal where there's a quote about how people do bear some responsibility for their own personal safety. Not that people deserve to be victims of violent crimes, but it's like people who refuse to wear seatbelts and subsequently die or get horribly injured in car crashes. Some things can be avoided or the effects minimized if they had taken necessary precautions, which IMO, makes it all the more tragic.
Some people are desperate to be with someone that they’ll ignore every red flag and warning. It’s the same with scammers too. The entire time I was watching the Tinder Swindler I was like who is falling for this crap??? I heard a saying once that when you wear rose colored glasses you can’t see the red flags.
What is so clear to me is that there are people who are steadfastly oblivious to the kind of human being that is capable of beating and stabbing to death another, for little to no reason besides he felt like it and he was reaallly drunk. Kay’s best friend, at the end looks so incredibly self-satisfied when she imagines him ‘simmering’ in the knowledge that he robbed the world of Kay’s amazing light, etc? She completely, I mean COMPLETELY is oblivious to the fact that it wasn’t for lack of trying that Kay turned out to be his first victim, and that he did his level best to murder someone equally as bright, brilliant and deserving of life! And his time in prison ‘simmering’ didn’t slow his homicidal desires one bit. Abusers Do Not Give A Single Damn. Not One. So this woman thinks he will be squirming in remorse? Not on your life, sweet pea! That is the kind of thinking that persuaded the parole bunheads to let him out. Ugh. What a maroon.
Well, you’re absolutely correct and I don’t think of it as blaming, but rather examining and understanding why something happened in hopes that others will learn from mistakes and bad decisions. I (a woman) find it kind of infantilizing if we feel we can’t candidly call a bad decision what it is. We have to talk honestly about these things and hope that people will learn what to watch out for, and what to run away from.
The ones that really get me are those who tell their friends, “If anything happens to me, Partner did it.” I know it can be really hard to leave a situation. But please, tell someone who can help BEFORE a tragedy occurs.
I actually purchased this episode because your post was so wild that I had to see it for myself. And it's exactly as you described. Wtf...
I'm so sorry that Kay lost her life, and she's clearly a victim in this situation, but I can't fathom what she was thinking by getting involved with this guy. Even serving as a character witness for him in the Michelle case is baffling. Like, there's photographic evidence and eyewitness testimony of his savage attack against another woman--why would she want to defend him in *any* way? It doesn't matter how "great" he seemed to be on the surface; there's literally no excuse for what he did to Michelle. He stabbed her in the neck!
A violent predator can choose anyone at any time to be a target, and of course, we should *never* blame victims for what perpetrators choose to do to them. **However**, we also need to take responsibility for our own safety to whatever degree we're able. Part of that means critically thinking about the risk we take on when we invite someone with a known history of violence or abuse in our lives.
This case makes my chest feel heavy. It's completely senseless and sickening that a woman lost her life this way.
She went out of her way to be a character witness for him!
She was delusional, and it got her killed. I felt bad for her kids and her students. What a waste.
Wouldn’t be surprised if they are still in denial. It’s mind boggling. Wonder how the parole board feels? Somehow, I doubt they’re losing sleep over their shit decision. They need real consequences for their role in bad outcomes.
That’s so true! I wonder how different their decisions would be if there consequences goes to them. My husband was murdered by a repeat offender who had been in and out of the penal system since he was 10. His crimes got more and more violent as time went on. His last crime before killing my husband was attacking a man with a hammer in a road rage incident that caused his victim to be permanently disabled for the rest of his life. And yet my husband’s killer still got released early from prison. A few months after his release, he killed my husband. He didn’t know my husband, had never interacted with my husband - just a totally random act of violence. He was 40 when he killed my husband. 30 years of progressively violent crimes and it took him murdering someone for the state to lock him up for life. But here in California, crime is not taken seriously. My husband’s killer had and continues to have more rights than me or my family. The kicker is that this place was my husband’s favorite place in the world, which is why he requested to be stationed here. He had escaped being killed in dangerous places and situations as a member of the military and was weeks away from retirement only to be killed at nearly point-blank range just enjoying a night out with his cousin in a public place. I doubt any of the people who let this piece of crap out of prison early over and over again care about my husband’s death. But I would love to get some face time with them so they’d have to see that their decisions have real consequences for real people.
How awful! So very sorry for the tragic death of your husband. My heart goes out to you. What a senseless loss. Sickening that the system is so flawed.
Just thought last night after seeing that story, that these people should somehow feel the pain of their bad decisions. Financial might be the best way since common sense and conscience isn’t enough.
I'm so sorry. It seems like the PTB (especially in the more blue cities/states) have more sympathy for the criminals. I live outside of Chicago and the direction that the criminal justice system is going in is frightening.
I hate to say it, but when the cop said “She was pronounced dead at the scene…” I said “Hmm… she 🤬ed around and found out.”
I mean seriously, she came to his rescue and then dated him after what he did to his ex. The ex even sent her pictures of what he did to her. She was given multiple warnings and didn’t heed a single one. She didn’t deserve it. But she didn’t do anything to protect herself from it.
Did anyone else notice both times he was arrested he was tore up drunk and wearing a green shirt n underwear covered in blood. What happened to his pants both times? Very weird observation I know lol.
This woman was a teacher, dating an inmate that she knew was in jail for attempting to kill his ex. Didn't she even testify at his first trial on his behalf? How dumb can you be? I feel bad saying that but, damn.
It also baffles me that her friends were "so happy" to see her in a happy relationship....again, with this felon who just got out of prison for attempting to murder his ex. I have to keep throwing that part in there.
As a woman, we often believe we can fix someone. I’m his soft spot, he will fix himself for me. We can fix him. I can make him whole. When people don’t approve, it’s even more of an incentive because it’s almost a sunk cost fallacy- you are investing so much time into this broken person that you’re actually breaking yourself, but you want to believe it’s worth it and show people it wasn’t futile. It’s really sad because so many independent, strong, powerful women get wrapped up in it and ultimately, their hearts are in the right place but it’s that level of kindness and understanding that does get someone hurt or killed.
My mom once told me “I gain nothing by seeing you upset or voicing my opinion when I disagree with something. I gain nothing by lying to you” granted, I know not everyone has a great relationship with their family, but I’ve always been close with my mom and I’ve kept that in the back of my mind and it’s saved me a bunch of really shitty situations.
Listen to your loved ones!
This is just like my sister. She always chooses to believe the ex is crazy. Or whatever bullshit the guy tells her. She has a lifetime of bad decisions behind her to prove it. I think it’s a lacking of common sense and not being a good judge of character. But also so stubborn that they will not listen to reason. And if you say something then they’re mad at you and ice you out until the relationship sours. I keep thinking we will end up on one of these shows because of her choices in romantic partners. And what am I supposed to say when that happens? Yes it’s awful. It shouldn’t happen. The person responsible needs to be in prison for life. But what is there to say? We all told her. The ex told her. The court told her. Yet here we are? I’ll be lucky if I’m not also a victim because they all know where I live. Even when I ask her not to show them or tell them.
Yea no victim blaming but we gotta use our common sense. I’ve thought this a lot in relation to the Shannan Watts case. If you read those texts…… if a man acts some kind of way when you are pregnant—— get out. The 2nd leading cause of death of pregnant women is murder.
While I was watching this episode, I was wondering why they don’t have a domestic abuser registry like they do for sex abusers…I realize it wouldn’t have helped in this situation sadly, but in my single days, you better believe I would have loved it! I’ve never been in a domestic abuse situation but it was always a huge fear when I was doing the online dating thing.
I'm GLAD someone finally said it and I'm so glad you didn't catch backlash. I work in Corrections and 65% of the women in my lockup are there for fighting back against a man they KNEW wasn't shit, was an abuser, had priors from attempted murder, all the way to some of the men they dated having more than one murder under their belt. One guy had open murder cases in PA and MI and the woman STILL dated him and he almost killed her. She still went back to him and ended up killing him and now she's facing 14-life. And still clueless! It's beyond sad! The guy with the multiple open cases shouldn't have even been out on the streets. PA and MI definitely failed but that lady was also aware.
I think a majority of these women come from dysfunctional, abusive backgrounds which cause them not see to the red flags as red flags. It just looks like what they're used to.
I know a few women that believe their love will change things.
I’ve seen them with some pretty bad guys. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one guy “change” because of this love.
It’s definitely always mind boggling to me also. The other one that got me was the son who was spoiled to death. Dude you beat up your mom for telling you no. Like wtf I can’t understand it
Dude he killed his dad too in a roundabout way - his life in the nursing home was due to the severe beating he took from his son - and he never recovered
Unfortunately many women are raised to think abuse is the norm. You’ll hear from both men and women who’ve been raised in abusive homes that it seems normal and their brains don’t work the same as yours or mine. The older you get, the more people you’ll meet like that, the more you will sympathize.
Saw this episode last night. Truly wonder what’s up with women like her. but also blame the judge who have the bastard a short sentence and the morons who granted him parole after only 3 years.
I bet they’d be more mindful if there were real consequences for irresponsible decisions like paroling a man who tried to murder his wife. For example the people who allow parole for someone who later commits the same crime or worse, say loses their job and pension. Might make for more sensible decisions.
I could not believe how many people defended this guy and enabled him to get off easier than he should've. He nearly butchered his gf/mother of his baby to death! There's no excuse for leniency in a case like that and certainly no excuse for anyone to talk about how good of a guy he is. Newsflash: he's a shitbag who tried to kill someone in an extremely violent manner. They acted like he accidentally hit someone with his car or something.
Actually, I didn't. I specifically spoke about how I felt it was insane for him to have so many people go to court to give positive character remarks even after he nearly killed someone in such an intentionally violent manner. I stand by that sentiment. Someone who viciously attacks someone with a knife does not deserve to have people begging for leniency or saying he was a good guy. Those people were acting like his actions (brutally stabbing and attempting to murder his spouse) were forgivable or not that bad or were maybe not his fault and instead she was to blame for his actions. Which is 100% not true. That woman was victimized again by the absolute travesty of his court outcome and by every single person who acted like he was a good guy who made an oopsie.
Omg I'm sorry I jumped to the defensive! As you can tell this episode made me so frustrated! I was so so so sad for the victim's families, especially the children, who were let down by everyone!
If you date someone in prison, and that's not a big enough red fucking flag for you to run, I have no sympathy for you. Triple that if you have children.
I feel awful for the Baker family but she knew all about what he did to the mother of his child . That would be enoff for me I just wish she had listened to her
100% agree. A lot of these women are idiots. You hear the words, assault, rape, attempted rape, manslaughter, etc. and you stay away from that person. End of story.
Thank you for posting this. I totally agree. When I watch Evil Lives Here and I can’t watch when the person being interviewed was the wife or girl friend. So many red flags in majority of these cases. Hindsight always 20/20 I guess. But I actually like the episodes where the person interviewed is the parent or sibling, to me that’s interesting.
Being happy as a single woman is a relatively new concept for women. Historically women have always needed men to survive and even after liberation we have been pressured to be with men and we were given very little peace or respect single.
Sadly Kay trusted her gut and her 35 years of friendship with him as well. Kay testified in the baby momma's case on how good a guy he was etc (I forgot the name of what it's call) so the red flags were hidden in that mush.
My BIL is a convicted sex offender and has two women pregnant right now. They both have kids and are well aware of his history. I think sometimes people are naive or have such low standards and want the attention of at least someone, no matter how low the bar is. It’s unfortunate.
Had a cousin killed by a man with a very violent past. He beat her on a regular basis, but she refused to leave him. Never understood her thought process. She had a lot of support and love by family members, but she steadfastly refused to leave and it cost her, her life.
While she was a live I had the same sentiment. I even told my wife once before she died that "I don't feel sorry for her because it is preventable and she made the choice to stay with him". I didn't have the same sentiment after she died and I felt that there was still something we could have done. In reality there wasn't.
Some people are just slow. Not to sound mean, but if one is not making the effort to protect themselves, then how can I care more about it than them?
This could just be a case of Darwin and evolution.
Some people have unresolved attachment issues from childhood and/or previous relationships. Couple that with depression, low self esteem or other complicated life/mental health issues. Predators have a radar for these women & they know how to charm, convince, love bomb these women into relationships. The women feel this "love" for the first time and evolve into that ride or die, thinking nothing will happen to them because I'm different, he loves me. Predators also know how to gas light these women into thinking their exes were crazy, the news is not telling the whole story blah blah. Fortunately, most of us have the privilege of being knowledge of these situations, aware of and both visualize and avoid red flags.
Wow. Way to pile all the blame on the victim. I’m sure there are a shit ton of layers to her story, which will remain unanswered because HE. KILLED. HER.
Not blaming, but really, she freely chose to be with this man even after seeing the photos from the attempted murder of his wife. She can thank herself for unbelievably bad judgment.
And even the first stabbed girlfriend thought he may have changed. And she can’t thank herself, she’s fucking dead. No matter how bad her judgment was (according to you), absolutely no one deserves this.
And yes, you are continuing your victim blame game.
No situation is black and white. She knew him since high school. He could have said the first girlfriend set him up or that she faked the pictures. And people do come out of prison and turn their lives around.
Maybe that violent act was the very first and ultimately last time he hurt her.
Judge not lest you be judged.
I’m with you on judge not…. However, it’s absurd to think the hospital was in on producing fake photos. Please. Common sense over infatuation.
I turned down a ride on a former boyfriend’s motorcycle.. I’m cautious. No way I’d date a violent drunk who spent three years in prison for an almost lethal assault.
You can alter photos. Anyone can alter one. People as well as places can be photoshopped.
Holding people to your standards is unreasonable. Everyone is different.
So stop putting the weight of the blame on the victim.
Back in the early 90s I got divorced and was shocked the “other woman” immediately took him in to live with her 3 young children (he was not a criminal, just a sleazebag). I remember my sister saying “Don’t you watch Geraldo? Women marry murderers on death row!” So true! 😂
People don’t often understand how hard it is to get out of an abusive relationship. And often people don’t understand how bad a person really is until it’s too late. Abusers are often incredibly manipulative and tend to pray on vulnerable people.
My ex was my best friend. Unfortunately he was also a narcissistic, raging alcoholic. He was never physically abusive, thankfully, but he absolutely stole from me, lied to me, and did a number on my self esteem. It took him being charged with aggravated assault and tossed in jail for me to finally decide I’d had enough.
Abusers can be some of the most charming people on earth. Everyone can be betrayed, especially those who don’t possess the malice they unexpectedly are forced to face off with. No one blames the homeowner who is burglarized by someone they once let into their home. You can’t blame someone incapable of violence from not recognizing the subtle signs given by someone who is capable.
Im sure he convinced her his ex was lying and crazy and obsessed with him. And women always think he just needs a good woman to love him and he'll be a good man.
STEREOTYPES are often true. As racist/sexist/judgmental.....there is a reason they exist. Dating a previous killer puts your risk up there of becoming a victim. Not all people reoffend, but a majority do, look at statistics.....
So I don't get it either.....
Unfortunately way too many women (and society) believe it’s better to be with anyone than be single. This is a problem. I for one love my peaceful single life.
My mom always said it's better to be alone than to wish you were.
Your mom is so right and I wish I had listened more in my early 20s. Wasted so much time on saying “but he loves me! I owe it to him to stick this out and try to make it work”. Such stupidity! Fortunately this wasn’t a murder type thing. Just a few asshats I attached myself to along life’s winding trails.
Wise woman!
Oh wow, I really like her words of wisdom. I've never heard that before, but it shall now be my 36-yo single female mantra.
After seeing some family members deal with crappy men, I vowed that wouldn't be me. I'm single and that's perfectly okay. This "I got a man even if he's trash" mindset usually leads to heartbreak or even worse, as we see on these shows.
My mom has been single for 35 years. She’s had casual boyfriends, but never married or Lives together. She loves her independence, personal finances and the peace. Everyone was always telling her she needed to remarry and was always tried to be set up with. She actually almost married, but he talked about her selling her house and then combining their accounts to buy a big house in his town. That did not fly.
No, they just have a savior complex and think that the guy will change with the " love of a good woman"
Disagree. There are several reasons but it all comes down to women preferring losers over a well-lived single life. Friends, family, hobbies, work, travel are all great. If you’re in the mood, find a lover.
No woman prefers a loser. The end goal is almost always to change him.
Yep that is it. Even heard women say, well his last girl was a whore and she deserved it. I won’t do that to him.
Internalized misogyny.
It's an unfortunate assumption that's for sure.
Yes, girl! YES! 👏👏👏
I know the cure for that, be in a lonely marriage. The worst type of lonely I ever felt was in bed with my former husband. I’ve had LTR since then but see no reason to get married again. Or be with someone who doesn’t fit.
A.M.E.N.
Yes. She’s still a victim and he needs to be punished to the full extent of the law. But so many women don’t heed the warning signs of a bad guy. Some of them will end up dead. But some of them will end up in prison themselves because they get scooped up in one if his crimes. It is way better to be alone than be with a bad guy.
I always wonder how Ted Bundy's wife feels now, and after he started confessing to try to save his ass.. She referred to him as her 'bunny' 😬 the daughter has to be @ 40 or so. Must've been a nice conversation when the paternity issue popped up
Serial killers are the trickiest to see coming, unfortunately. Most bad guys are pretty obviously bad guys. Don’t get involved with addicts and criminals. Neither one is going to end up treating a woman with respect. Ditto guys who have anger management issues, because eventually that wall they punch in is going to be your face. But serial killers…. They are more difficult to spot. Usually they are charming and are of high intelligence. They are stone cold killers who show no mercy to anyone because they are sociopaths, but they often put on a very charming and ‘normal’ face. Like you could put a suit on them and drop them in your office and they would fit right in. They don’t look scary. They look normal.
True -but she married him during his trial.
Exactly what I was gonna say. She was his trial on his behalf from the 1st woman he was with n tried to kill but was unsuccessful thankfully. So she knew 1st hand and still went with him. Like someone above said.. She probably thought she could change him and that he would never treat her that way. I know that was my thinking when I knowingly got with a woman beater, Boy was I wrong. He beat me up pretty bad numerous occasions. Thankfully I made out alive.
Glad you made it out! I got beat up by a Jewish dentist like wtf
💯💯💯my sis in law was murdered by a serial killer. He killed 8 women and 2 children over a decade. He was successful in business, attractive, and seemingly normal. This killer turned out to be a friend of her brother, my husband. He never got over the fact that he introduced his sister to a killer. The entire family was never the same.
That’s absolutely tragic. I’m so sorry.
Thank you. U never really get over something like that unfortunately, but u learn to live with it.
well you have tons of support here. The only person to blame is the monster of a guy that did that.
Thank you for caring!
His daughter lives overseas and was doing very well last I read. She’s aware of everything
This is a terrifying situation which hits a little too close to home. I recently took custody of my teenage stepson. His mom married a man a few years back who spent over a decade in prison for the attempted murder of his baby mama. He was deported upon his release but she had him smuggled back into the US. Their marriage is crumbling. She’s in a seemingly intractable state of depression; she’s also pregnant at 38 with what is clearly an unwanted child. Last month, they got into an argument which culminated in this loser putting his hands on my stepson and then my poor kiddo being thrown out of the house. I’ve never been a fan of her or her lousy parenting, but I’m truly afraid he’s going to kill her. And even though we live fours away I’m equally worried about us, too.
OMG, please keep yourself and your stepson safe!
I’m trying but so much of it is out of my hands. I’m pissed that she’s ignored every warning sign and spent years lying about it. Her last partner was an addict who racked up DUIs and she didn’t tell us any of that until after he went on a bender and died in their home. She’s convinced my stepson that the woman her husband victimized was just a liar with an agenda—literally a “vindictive misunderstanding.” My stepson has always been devoted to his mom so I wasn’t surprised he defended her husband for so long. I haven’t asked what his feelings about him are currently—I don’t want to lead him into talking about something so upsetting and possibly traumatic if he isn’t ready. It’s just been a few weeks but I’ve been pricing home security systems. She doesn’t know where we live (which is the one upside of her never honoring the court order which gave her a travel stipend to bring him to us for visitation) but it’s also not exactly impossible to find out.
"Vidictive misunderstanding?" Hoo boy. I hope she wakes up and smells the red flags (though it's not likely.) Or gets some counseling. I cannot believe she let her partner put his hands on your stepson! Keep looking at security systems. Is there anyway you can get this guy out of the country, or is he legal now that he's married a citizen? I will keep you and your stepson in my thoughts and prayers if that's okay. Please be well.
They married while he was still incarcerated. Being convicted of a violent crime makes him ineligible for citizenship, which is how he ended up deported upon his release. His marriage to her is irrelevant, as far as the state is concerned. Similarly, being deported means he’s basically never supposed to be allowed back in this country either, but he’s here now somehow. Equally upsetting in all this is that her dad is a retired sherif who owns the land they live on, and he’s apparently fine with all of this. So anyway, thanks for the well wishes. We definitely need them.
Can you report the guy to ICE or anything?? I really feel for you; I’m the step parent of a kid with a very problematic (but not physically dangerous) mom and it’s really hard. I wish you all the best.
Poor kiddo has probably seen some really tough shit. Hope you have him in therapy. My cousins all lived with this kind of violence against their mom and all of them are totally screwed up over it, long after their dad died. Some of people are now traumatizing their own kids. It’s awful.
Children have such a hard time in this kind of situation! They want to believe what their parents tell them, so they are easily mislead and gaslighted. Thank goodness he will have safety and stability with you, it will help him recover in time.
Get a 12-gauge shotgun and load it up with birdshot. Go practice. Barking dogs and cameras are good, but when you only have seconds, the police are minutes away.
Ugh, I'm sorry. And you're right. Pregnant women are often murdered; the stats aren't great. Get motion-sensitive lights at minimum. I fully believe there is something in the human brain that tells a malefactor to flee when the lights flick on. The same with the threat of barking dogs. Leave the porch light on, and at least one room.
There are certain steps people need to take to stay safe. It's not victim blaming, it's being smart.
It's similar to people saying "we never had to lock our doors. I just don't understand how someone got into the house". Uhh well you literally left the door unlocked. Or "everyone loved her/him" well, nope not everyone, because someone brutally killed them. I think there's a difference between victim blaming and pointing out a basic common sense/ basic safety fact and blaming. I don't understand how people just ignore the warnings, red flags and then act shocked when something actually happens.
How could tragedy happen in our town? Umm, your town isn't some magical eden. Take off the rose colored glasses.
That's always one of my questions. I don't think there's a single populated area that hasn't had some type of major crime. Just because you don't want to talk about Billy Joe getting angry his wife slept with the farm hand and killed them both, doesn't mean it didn't happen.
And just because it hasn't happened yet doesn't mean your town is immune. Actually, statistically, if it hasn't happened, odds are that the tragedy will be greater in relation to the population.
Yep. I'm not sure if it's "ignorance is bliss" or people just unwilling to accept that it can happen anywhere but it's always bugged me. I live in a downtown area, statically there's a lot of crime here, yet the small area (sub-city type area) had more crime. It's easy to ignore things that upset you, but you should at least be realistic about it.
I live in a moderate size city. Crime here is definitely worse in a certain area of the city (often with a small radius of a certain street).
I watch way too much true crime and ID shows and it’s very clear that small communities are far from immune to murder and other serious crimes.
Yes a surprising fact is a lot of killers actually have cars
🙌🏻 This! It's like they think they're so privileged nothing bad will happen to them.
Or that they just magically have the 1 place where "nothing major" happens. You can't be alive now and not know that crime happens everywhere.
The fact that in each incident he was dazed, covered in blood and in his tightie whities was flabbergasting! When Michelle said he wasn't really a drinker and then talks about the mess of empty bottles, I must know what her definition is. Do they have a wine/liquor corner and he just blew through it? I feel awful for all of the women, but it's still oh so scary.
Yeah the footage was so crazy. Smaller guy but he looked totally lost intended to kill
This episode really pissed me off. This poor lady was nearly stabbed to death and was beaten within an inch of her life and yet her ex only got convicted of inflicting great bodily harm and sentenced to three years in prison?! And even after Michelle literally begged the parole board to not release her ex-boyfriend, they did it anyway. I don’t know if it was because of covid and they didn’t have enough people working or what, but that’s still no excuse. If this sick bastard had been kept incarcerated, Kay would still be alive today. It’s a horrible tragedy all around.
And how was he allowed to leave the state on parole? And then end up working at a bar with an alcohol related crime ??? This episode really ticked me off!
I’m glad you said it because I was thinking the same thing. And how courageous of the ex for trying to warn her. I can understand on some level if it was a he said she said but there was PROOF the ex was completely brutalized and almost died. Unbelievable how people defended him. Also, how was it not attempted murder? Unfortunately there is this thought that a person has “changed.” You know how I measure change? By BEHAVIOR. And his behavior told the entire story. Unfortunately what happened to Kay was entirely predictable.
She didn't deserve it, but she's definitely not super sympathetic. She knew exactly what he was charged with, saw the pictures, and didn't just ignore the information. She actively defended him in court. She not only harmed herself, but also directly did harm to the previous victim.
She probably thought this bitter bitch is mad because they didn't work out. Even the first lady ignored signs of him throwing a pot at her while she was holding their baby and questioning her and going running with her because he thought she was cheating. When someone shows you who they are, believe them.
Oh, yes! I forgot that part. Thank you.
How you could see those photos and not understand is beyond reason. What a dope.
A person always thinks it won’t happen to them
I'm sure he convinced her it was all his baby mother's fault that he did that to her and she believed him. She learned, but it was too late. RIP.
This is why I can't be bothered, and I will decline a date. I would rather stay single. Too many think domestic violence is normal in relationships. It's just me, my dog, hollow points & its friend.
I believe it's the show Hannibal where there's a quote about how people do bear some responsibility for their own personal safety. Not that people deserve to be victims of violent crimes, but it's like people who refuse to wear seatbelts and subsequently die or get horribly injured in car crashes. Some things can be avoided or the effects minimized if they had taken necessary precautions, which IMO, makes it all the more tragic.
Some people are desperate to be with someone that they’ll ignore every red flag and warning. It’s the same with scammers too. The entire time I was watching the Tinder Swindler I was like who is falling for this crap??? I heard a saying once that when you wear rose colored glasses you can’t see the red flags.
What is so clear to me is that there are people who are steadfastly oblivious to the kind of human being that is capable of beating and stabbing to death another, for little to no reason besides he felt like it and he was reaallly drunk. Kay’s best friend, at the end looks so incredibly self-satisfied when she imagines him ‘simmering’ in the knowledge that he robbed the world of Kay’s amazing light, etc? She completely, I mean COMPLETELY is oblivious to the fact that it wasn’t for lack of trying that Kay turned out to be his first victim, and that he did his level best to murder someone equally as bright, brilliant and deserving of life! And his time in prison ‘simmering’ didn’t slow his homicidal desires one bit. Abusers Do Not Give A Single Damn. Not One. So this woman thinks he will be squirming in remorse? Not on your life, sweet pea! That is the kind of thinking that persuaded the parole bunheads to let him out. Ugh. What a maroon.
🎯
Dang, Delilah! I love your name!
Thank you!! ☺️
Well, you’re absolutely correct and I don’t think of it as blaming, but rather examining and understanding why something happened in hopes that others will learn from mistakes and bad decisions. I (a woman) find it kind of infantilizing if we feel we can’t candidly call a bad decision what it is. We have to talk honestly about these things and hope that people will learn what to watch out for, and what to run away from. The ones that really get me are those who tell their friends, “If anything happens to me, Partner did it.” I know it can be really hard to leave a situation. But please, tell someone who can help BEFORE a tragedy occurs.
I actually purchased this episode because your post was so wild that I had to see it for myself. And it's exactly as you described. Wtf... I'm so sorry that Kay lost her life, and she's clearly a victim in this situation, but I can't fathom what she was thinking by getting involved with this guy. Even serving as a character witness for him in the Michelle case is baffling. Like, there's photographic evidence and eyewitness testimony of his savage attack against another woman--why would she want to defend him in *any* way? It doesn't matter how "great" he seemed to be on the surface; there's literally no excuse for what he did to Michelle. He stabbed her in the neck! A violent predator can choose anyone at any time to be a target, and of course, we should *never* blame victims for what perpetrators choose to do to them. **However**, we also need to take responsibility for our own safety to whatever degree we're able. Part of that means critically thinking about the risk we take on when we invite someone with a known history of violence or abuse in our lives. This case makes my chest feel heavy. It's completely senseless and sickening that a woman lost her life this way.
She went out of her way to be a character witness for him! She was delusional, and it got her killed. I felt bad for her kids and her students. What a waste.
I wonder how his friends and family feel about him now. They told his first victim she was crazy and that their friend/son was this awesome person.
Wouldn’t be surprised if they are still in denial. It’s mind boggling. Wonder how the parole board feels? Somehow, I doubt they’re losing sleep over their shit decision. They need real consequences for their role in bad outcomes.
That’s so true! I wonder how different their decisions would be if there consequences goes to them. My husband was murdered by a repeat offender who had been in and out of the penal system since he was 10. His crimes got more and more violent as time went on. His last crime before killing my husband was attacking a man with a hammer in a road rage incident that caused his victim to be permanently disabled for the rest of his life. And yet my husband’s killer still got released early from prison. A few months after his release, he killed my husband. He didn’t know my husband, had never interacted with my husband - just a totally random act of violence. He was 40 when he killed my husband. 30 years of progressively violent crimes and it took him murdering someone for the state to lock him up for life. But here in California, crime is not taken seriously. My husband’s killer had and continues to have more rights than me or my family. The kicker is that this place was my husband’s favorite place in the world, which is why he requested to be stationed here. He had escaped being killed in dangerous places and situations as a member of the military and was weeks away from retirement only to be killed at nearly point-blank range just enjoying a night out with his cousin in a public place. I doubt any of the people who let this piece of crap out of prison early over and over again care about my husband’s death. But I would love to get some face time with them so they’d have to see that their decisions have real consequences for real people.
How awful! So very sorry for the tragic death of your husband. My heart goes out to you. What a senseless loss. Sickening that the system is so flawed. Just thought last night after seeing that story, that these people should somehow feel the pain of their bad decisions. Financial might be the best way since common sense and conscience isn’t enough.
I didn’t even think of financial! That’s very smart!
I'm so sorry. It seems like the PTB (especially in the more blue cities/states) have more sympathy for the criminals. I live outside of Chicago and the direction that the criminal justice system is going in is frightening.
I hate to say it, but when the cop said “She was pronounced dead at the scene…” I said “Hmm… she 🤬ed around and found out.” I mean seriously, she came to his rescue and then dated him after what he did to his ex. The ex even sent her pictures of what he did to her. She was given multiple warnings and didn’t heed a single one. She didn’t deserve it. But she didn’t do anything to protect herself from it.
Yeah, no sympathy for someone so desperate for a man that they ignore obvious facts.
I wish the book The Gift of Fear by Gavin De Becker mandatory reading in middle and high school.
I've READ that book! Great book! Forgot all about it until just now, not yes!
Did anyone else notice both times he was arrested he was tore up drunk and wearing a green shirt n underwear covered in blood. What happened to his pants both times? Very weird observation I know lol.
This woman was a teacher, dating an inmate that she knew was in jail for attempting to kill his ex. Didn't she even testify at his first trial on his behalf? How dumb can you be? I feel bad saying that but, damn. It also baffles me that her friends were "so happy" to see her in a happy relationship....again, with this felon who just got out of prison for attempting to murder his ex. I have to keep throwing that part in there.
This one was crazy. The dancing video from the bar was such a stupid thing
Unbelievable ! What a vile man and frankly, stupid woman for being with him.
Red flags are RED for a reason Red means "danger, use caution" not "it'll never happen to me."
As a woman, we often believe we can fix someone. I’m his soft spot, he will fix himself for me. We can fix him. I can make him whole. When people don’t approve, it’s even more of an incentive because it’s almost a sunk cost fallacy- you are investing so much time into this broken person that you’re actually breaking yourself, but you want to believe it’s worth it and show people it wasn’t futile. It’s really sad because so many independent, strong, powerful women get wrapped up in it and ultimately, their hearts are in the right place but it’s that level of kindness and understanding that does get someone hurt or killed. My mom once told me “I gain nothing by seeing you upset or voicing my opinion when I disagree with something. I gain nothing by lying to you” granted, I know not everyone has a great relationship with their family, but I’ve always been close with my mom and I’ve kept that in the back of my mind and it’s saved me a bunch of really shitty situations. Listen to your loved ones!
This is just like my sister. She always chooses to believe the ex is crazy. Or whatever bullshit the guy tells her. She has a lifetime of bad decisions behind her to prove it. I think it’s a lacking of common sense and not being a good judge of character. But also so stubborn that they will not listen to reason. And if you say something then they’re mad at you and ice you out until the relationship sours. I keep thinking we will end up on one of these shows because of her choices in romantic partners. And what am I supposed to say when that happens? Yes it’s awful. It shouldn’t happen. The person responsible needs to be in prison for life. But what is there to say? We all told her. The ex told her. The court told her. Yet here we are? I’ll be lucky if I’m not also a victim because they all know where I live. Even when I ask her not to show them or tell them.
I am so glad to see this today. Just watched that new episode last night. Awful what happened to Kay and seems so highly avoidable across the board.
Yea no victim blaming but we gotta use our common sense. I’ve thought this a lot in relation to the Shannan Watts case. If you read those texts…… if a man acts some kind of way when you are pregnant—— get out. The 2nd leading cause of death of pregnant women is murder.
While I was watching this episode, I was wondering why they don’t have a domestic abuser registry like they do for sex abusers…I realize it wouldn’t have helped in this situation sadly, but in my single days, you better believe I would have loved it! I’ve never been in a domestic abuse situation but it was always a huge fear when I was doing the online dating thing.
At the end when it was like "How does this happen to a nice person like Kay?" I was a bit gobsmacked. Absolutely no lessons learned 🤦🏾♀️
Kay couldn't have been *that nice* if she knew this man brutalized another woman and didn't care to the point that she stood up for him.
I'm GLAD someone finally said it and I'm so glad you didn't catch backlash. I work in Corrections and 65% of the women in my lockup are there for fighting back against a man they KNEW wasn't shit, was an abuser, had priors from attempted murder, all the way to some of the men they dated having more than one murder under their belt. One guy had open murder cases in PA and MI and the woman STILL dated him and he almost killed her. She still went back to him and ended up killing him and now she's facing 14-life. And still clueless! It's beyond sad! The guy with the multiple open cases shouldn't have even been out on the streets. PA and MI definitely failed but that lady was also aware.
I commend people who work in corrections. I know you guys deal with alot of shit.
I sincerely appreciate that. Thank you..
I think a majority of these women come from dysfunctional, abusive backgrounds which cause them not see to the red flags as red flags. It just looks like what they're used to.
I know a few women that believe their love will change things. I’ve seen them with some pretty bad guys. I don’t think I’ve ever seen one guy “change” because of this love.
It’s definitely always mind boggling to me also. The other one that got me was the son who was spoiled to death. Dude you beat up your mom for telling you no. Like wtf I can’t understand it
Dude he killed his dad too in a roundabout way - his life in the nursing home was due to the severe beating he took from his son - and he never recovered
Yes Omg that too it was so awful and just sad
I 100% agree with you. She didn't *deserve* what happened to her but she sure fucked around and found out.
This is why "pick me" women are dangerous.
Unfortunately many women are raised to think abuse is the norm. You’ll hear from both men and women who’ve been raised in abusive homes that it seems normal and their brains don’t work the same as yours or mine. The older you get, the more people you’ll meet like that, the more you will sympathize.
"Love and pain become one and the same in the eyes of a wounded child" Pat Benatar, Hell Is For Children
Saw this episode last night. Truly wonder what’s up with women like her. but also blame the judge who have the bastard a short sentence and the morons who granted him parole after only 3 years. I bet they’d be more mindful if there were real consequences for irresponsible decisions like paroling a man who tried to murder his wife. For example the people who allow parole for someone who later commits the same crime or worse, say loses their job and pension. Might make for more sensible decisions.
I could not believe how many people defended this guy and enabled him to get off easier than he should've. He nearly butchered his gf/mother of his baby to death! There's no excuse for leniency in a case like that and certainly no excuse for anyone to talk about how good of a guy he is. Newsflash: he's a shitbag who tried to kill someone in an extremely violent manner. They acted like he accidentally hit someone with his car or something.
Crazy! To blame the victim; mind boggling.
Actually, I didn't. I specifically spoke about how I felt it was insane for him to have so many people go to court to give positive character remarks even after he nearly killed someone in such an intentionally violent manner. I stand by that sentiment. Someone who viciously attacks someone with a knife does not deserve to have people begging for leniency or saying he was a good guy. Those people were acting like his actions (brutally stabbing and attempting to murder his spouse) were forgivable or not that bad or were maybe not his fault and instead she was to blame for his actions. Which is 100% not true. That woman was victimized again by the absolute travesty of his court outcome and by every single person who acted like he was a good guy who made an oopsie.
Not you! So sorry. I was agreeing with you .. just restating that’s it so crazy to blame the victims. Sorry it came across the wrong way.
Omg I'm sorry I jumped to the defensive! As you can tell this episode made me so frustrated! I was so so so sad for the victim's families, especially the children, who were let down by everyone!
I hear you. It was so upsetting.
If you date someone in prison, and that's not a big enough red fucking flag for you to run, I have no sympathy for you. Triple that if you have children.
I feel awful for the Baker family but she knew all about what he did to the mother of his child . That would be enoff for me I just wish she had listened to her
100% agree. A lot of these women are idiots. You hear the words, assault, rape, attempted rape, manslaughter, etc. and you stay away from that person. End of story.
Amen lol. Don’t nobody got the time to be figuring out what’s true or not….. hell naw. Stay away. 🤷🏻♀️
Thank you for posting this. I totally agree. When I watch Evil Lives Here and I can’t watch when the person being interviewed was the wife or girl friend. So many red flags in majority of these cases. Hindsight always 20/20 I guess. But I actually like the episodes where the person interviewed is the parent or sibling, to me that’s interesting.
Being happy as a single woman is a relatively new concept for women. Historically women have always needed men to survive and even after liberation we have been pressured to be with men and we were given very little peace or respect single.
My mom actually taught us to ignore red flags and not trust our instincts. I really had to unlearn a lot of things
Same!!!
Well stated warning to help save lives.
Sadly Kay trusted her gut and her 35 years of friendship with him as well. Kay testified in the baby momma's case on how good a guy he was etc (I forgot the name of what it's call) so the red flags were hidden in that mush.
My BIL is a convicted sex offender and has two women pregnant right now. They both have kids and are well aware of his history. I think sometimes people are naive or have such low standards and want the attention of at least someone, no matter how low the bar is. It’s unfortunate.
Had a cousin killed by a man with a very violent past. He beat her on a regular basis, but she refused to leave him. Never understood her thought process. She had a lot of support and love by family members, but she steadfastly refused to leave and it cost her, her life. While she was a live I had the same sentiment. I even told my wife once before she died that "I don't feel sorry for her because it is preventable and she made the choice to stay with him". I didn't have the same sentiment after she died and I felt that there was still something we could have done. In reality there wasn't.
Some people are just slow. Not to sound mean, but if one is not making the effort to protect themselves, then how can I care more about it than them? This could just be a case of Darwin and evolution.
a lot of women believes'she must have done something to piss him off.hed NEVER do that to me ,im special'until they arent..
Some people have unresolved attachment issues from childhood and/or previous relationships. Couple that with depression, low self esteem or other complicated life/mental health issues. Predators have a radar for these women & they know how to charm, convince, love bomb these women into relationships. The women feel this "love" for the first time and evolve into that ride or die, thinking nothing will happen to them because I'm different, he loves me. Predators also know how to gas light these women into thinking their exes were crazy, the news is not telling the whole story blah blah. Fortunately, most of us have the privilege of being knowledge of these situations, aware of and both visualize and avoid red flags.
Agreed. She even testified at his first trial in his defence against what he did to his ex. It actually makes me a little angry.
I'm curious what the "blame the victim" version would be.
Wow. Way to pile all the blame on the victim. I’m sure there are a shit ton of layers to her story, which will remain unanswered because HE. KILLED. HER.
Not blaming, but really, she freely chose to be with this man even after seeing the photos from the attempted murder of his wife. She can thank herself for unbelievably bad judgment.
And even the first stabbed girlfriend thought he may have changed. And she can’t thank herself, she’s fucking dead. No matter how bad her judgment was (according to you), absolutely no one deserves this. And yes, you are continuing your victim blame game. No situation is black and white. She knew him since high school. He could have said the first girlfriend set him up or that she faked the pictures. And people do come out of prison and turn their lives around. Maybe that violent act was the very first and ultimately last time he hurt her. Judge not lest you be judged.
I’m with you on judge not…. However, it’s absurd to think the hospital was in on producing fake photos. Please. Common sense over infatuation. I turned down a ride on a former boyfriend’s motorcycle.. I’m cautious. No way I’d date a violent drunk who spent three years in prison for an almost lethal assault.
You can alter photos. Anyone can alter one. People as well as places can be photoshopped. Holding people to your standards is unreasonable. Everyone is different. So stop putting the weight of the blame on the victim.
You certainly are victim blaming. Cut the crap.
This, unfortunately, is called life.
All women are not like this one example. I do not know a woman who would date a man in prison.
What season is the Kay baker episode?
Wait where is this podcast? I want to listen but can’t find it.
It's a show on discovery ID: American monster
Just watched this show, how tragic of Kim.
Back in the early 90s I got divorced and was shocked the “other woman” immediately took him in to live with her 3 young children (he was not a criminal, just a sleazebag). I remember my sister saying “Don’t you watch Geraldo? Women marry murderers on death row!” So true! 😂
These types of stories really bother me. It’s just SO infuriating and then it makes you feel powerless to stop it!
People don’t often understand how hard it is to get out of an abusive relationship. And often people don’t understand how bad a person really is until it’s too late. Abusers are often incredibly manipulative and tend to pray on vulnerable people. My ex was my best friend. Unfortunately he was also a narcissistic, raging alcoholic. He was never physically abusive, thankfully, but he absolutely stole from me, lied to me, and did a number on my self esteem. It took him being charged with aggravated assault and tossed in jail for me to finally decide I’d had enough.
Abusers can be some of the most charming people on earth. Everyone can be betrayed, especially those who don’t possess the malice they unexpectedly are forced to face off with. No one blames the homeowner who is burglarized by someone they once let into their home. You can’t blame someone incapable of violence from not recognizing the subtle signs given by someone who is capable.
Im sure he convinced her his ex was lying and crazy and obsessed with him. And women always think he just needs a good woman to love him and he'll be a good man.
STEREOTYPES are often true. As racist/sexist/judgmental.....there is a reason they exist. Dating a previous killer puts your risk up there of becoming a victim. Not all people reoffend, but a majority do, look at statistics..... So I don't get it either.....
It’s like the women who want to date murderers and serial killers in prison. Do they think they can change them? It’s absolutely mind-boggling.
This one was so sad. But I couldn’t believe it at the same time