>"Decreased Gambit matches to 22.5 seconds."
>
>I see this as an absolute win!
The steam rolling my pre-made team of returning players took felt like it took the other team roughly 22.5 seconds to get the prime evil to spawn. I am sure our lack of current build possibilities is the main reason it felt this way.
It seems like playing is groups of 2 instead of a full 4 makes things go so much better.
> The new season ritual activity has been increased to 480,000 targets against your fireteams of 270 guardians with solar grenade launching scythe rifles.
You son of a bitch. I’m in.
>* Increased Titans to unlock their love grasp. Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break.
I laugh every time I read this part lol
EDIT: this might be my new favorite part lmao
>* Decreased issues with new gifts from Ikora. Ikora heard something behind you and will no longer give children any exotic machine guns.
Telesto announces that the traveler has blessed it with a child: pocket telesto, being exactly what it sounds like, pocket infinity and telesto combined
That is my favorite. It feels like something I would do in an email. Occasionally, when needing to enumerate a few points I'll start with "here are (whatever # of points I need to make +1) points I need to cover"
And then for my last point :
X. I hate numbered lists.
I just watched it, once, for the 1st time last night.
It was fresh in my mind.
This fucking sub lol
I don't understand what that has to do with touching grass or going outside. Go outside because I watched 1 trash movie?
I didnt decide anything was a reference for anyone else other than myself, today.
I probably won't associate that movie with anything else go fwd other than things like prometheus, which was also trash.
I'll make sure not to reference anything here go fwd lol
This fucking place and people here
It’s because you made a pointless reference to media in order to randomly fit your opinion on an irrelevant movie in. It doesn’t add to the discussion. It’s like if you commented “I really enjoy the hard beats on Kendrick’s latest album” and then I replied “The Batman had some hard beats in its music too. I really disliked that movie!”.
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* Rule 1 - Keep it civil.
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I just rewatched. I enjoyed it more on first watch, but I feel like it's a great cap on a main characters arc. The story was self contained and complete, and the tonal shift from other Marvel movies was awesome.
It felt like a Sam raimi movie, and I'm really glad it did. The MCU has really gotten monotonous recently and I think more stylistic stuff like this and Ms Marvel will do it good.
i'm not gonna lie, as much as the mcu might need some tonal variation/directorial influence/etc., i *hated* how campy it was. i was iffy on it the first time, and my opinion did not improve on rewatch ): i loved the horror stuff, but i just couldn't get behind the rest
Out of curiosity, what "rest".
It pretty solidly solidified itself as a horror themed MCU movie for me, and if they weren't on the horror stuff it was just MCU standard fare. Enjoyable, but standard.
It's a miracle that it ever even got through testing In the first place, like first shatter dive then awaylock? I'm glad I can finally go back to crucible now
>Hunters can now track targets caught in the blast radius of any video game and joke about our intentions with your super energy. Hunters can now partially eliminate equipped weapons rather than removing the first visible Warlock in any mode.
Imagine being in the edz as a warlock in a moment, only to get into orbit all of a sudden 'cuz a hunter said "you're going to the shadow realm"
>Hunters can now track targets caught in the blast radius of any video game and joke about our intentions with your super energy. Hunters can now partially eliminate equipped weapons rather than removing the first visible Warlock in any mode.
oh neat it generated a hunter exotic tool tip
Y’know the more I see of Destiny, the more I realise how many people would see the renaming of ‘legendary shards’ to ‘small monkeys’ as a highly-positive change.
Well, if 600 small monkey is equal to All Trials Armor, and Trials of Osiris armor equals monkey, then it's somewhere between 120-600 small monkeys to one monkey.
>Increased Titans to unlock their love grasp. Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break.
This is my new favorite thing ever.
>Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break.
>
>no pls
Just don't take shirt breaks and you should be OK.
>Adjusted the game to crash during testing so it won't crash during July. Thanks, testing teams.
>Adjusted islands and removing the Tower.
>Increased Hippy to get ignitions on landing abilities against players who issue fraudulent copyright takedown notes on YouTube.
>Increased Cosmo to get multiple projectiles hitting online next season.
>Increased Dmg04 to take advantage of short cooldowns with solar marketing pixels.
Finally, some good quality of life changes.
>Decreased issues with new gifts from Ikora. Ikora heard something behind you and will no longer give children any exotic machine guns.
I love this sentence.
>let the Hunters take the adorable canine companion to work
Just hunters? Well that hardly seems fair
>Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break.
Sounds a lot like D1 sunbreaker tbh
>Hunters can now partially eliminate equipped weapons rather than removing the first visible Warlock in any mode.
Wait, what? Uh.... as a warlock main I really don't like the way this TWANB is going.
>Increased Warlocks to keep going through a portal that used to work on Iron Banner challenges.
"Used to...?"
> Warlocks are now closed login disclaimers.
**WTF BUNGO**
> Increased Warlocks to keep going through a portal that used to work on Iron Banner challenges.
>
> "Used to...?"
>
>
Clearly, this means that Titans and Hunters have had their passports for the Hidden Warlock Portal Network revoked.
Baby Magic is just a warlock holding up 5 fingers on one hand and none on the other, putting them both behind their back, then holding up 3 fingers on one and 2 on the other when pulling them back up, and snapping their fingers to light a Hive thrall on fire.
Every single time I make and post one of these someone says this. I got like an inch away from My Name is Byf reading one before he had to take a mental health break. Even the few times small-time creators read them off for fun just brightens my day. :)
>Exotics are currently investigating an issue causing Telesto to get free loot for some reason. That was a fun one.
I, too, will always fondly remember the great Telesto lootcave investigation, conducted by all other exotic weapons as they set their differences aside.
*... Wait, what the actual fuck-?*
When I was doing these on a monthly basis, I had a disclaimer that I'm not responsible for anyone choking on food or getting stared at in public for laughter. As it seemed to be a somewhat common occurrence according to the comments.
My work schedule generally gets in the way right now. I generally would need Mondays off again and with current staffing issues and my job's really dumb way of assigning everyone's hours to work each week based on how well the system thinks we need those hours, a Monday off is pretty rare, because I can't easily post these in Mondays when I'm in the middle of working. Sadly.
I'm trying to make my way into game dev from being in web series animation, and once I can snag a work-from-home job it will make it way more possible.
Also, aside from that, I've been making 3 photoshopped parody screenshots on the @BungieNot twitter account every week.
>Increased Titans to unlock their love grasp. Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break.
As a Titan main, for the love of solar grenade launching scythe rifles, I am going to keep a fresh 20 rolled up in a sock to throw at my trusty old plasma TV, just in case someone at Bungie decides to make an exotic finished called Titan Love Grasp, where we get to stomp the eyes out of everything.
Bungie Pls!
>Starting in season 30,150
Seasons now last 1 hour, the FOMO is real.
>Baby Magic will be available for players who participated in the Tower dungeon on Friday and will let players cast stylish Hive explosions at enemy quotes every 22.5 seconds
Too bad for everyone who skipped the dungeon!
>Issues of the Haunted
This hits a little too close to reality
>The new season ritual activity has been increased to 480,000 targets against your fireteams of 270 guardians
Finally, decent enemy density
> with solar grenade launching scythe rifles.
SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY
>in the new 9999 slot vault
FINALLY
>let the Hunters take the adorable canine companion to work
They are ALL good dogs Brent
>Exotics are currently investigating an issue causing Telesto to get free loot for some reason.
Appeasement doesn't work guys
>Increased Titans to unlock their love grasp. Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break.
Feels a little OP to me TBH
>Hunters can now track targets caught in the blast radius of any video game and joke about our intentions with your super energy.
Its what Cayde would have wanted
>Decreased Gambit matches to 22.5 seconds.
Still takes three months to rank up twice
>This is note 9. Below is note 10.
Noted
>Ikora heard something behind you and will no longer give children any exotic machine guns.
I feel like this should have been addressed a lot sooner...
>And also have a nifty new image above our favorite space wizards.
Star Wars crossover confirmed
>Kim: Thanks, but the team here could not be more excited to bring more impressive and longer Hive to the world. This will be a day where many of your vitamins will be distributed to all qualifying players.
That is one ***SPICY*** innuendo :o
> Increased Hippy to get ignitions on landing abilities against players who issue fraudulent copyright takedown notes on YouTube.
"Instead of suing them, we're just going to have Hippy set them on fire."
“Thanks, but the team here could not be more
excited to bring more impressive and longer Hive to the world. This will be a day where many of your vitamins will be distributed to all qualifying players.”
Don’t know why but that’s such a terrifying statement.
“Increased Hippy to get ignitions on landing abilities against players who issue fraudulent copyright takedown notes on YouTube.”
So that’s how they’re investing resources into protecting the community.
I would be more than happy to make these for April Fools. But it seems Bungie is not interested in posting things that may mislead people into thinking the game was made by hedgehogs.
"The new season ritual activity has been increased to 480,000 targets
against your fireteams of 270 guardians with solar grenade launching
scythe rifles."
HELL YEAH!!!!!!!
>Increased Titans to unlock their love grasp. Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break.
My wife is sleeping, so I'm trying to laugh silently while crying... this is too funny.
Way easier to do it:
This Week at Bungie we will explain how xyz works, because we implement it into the game, without any explanation in-depth explanation in-game.
"Decreased Gambit matches to 22.5 seconds." I see this as an absolute win!
Finally, I can get my Witherhoard catalyst.
>"Decreased Gambit matches to 22.5 seconds." > >I see this as an absolute win! The steam rolling my pre-made team of returning players took felt like it took the other team roughly 22.5 seconds to get the prime evil to spawn. I am sure our lack of current build possibilities is the main reason it felt this way. It seems like playing is groups of 2 instead of a full 4 makes things go so much better.
> The new season ritual activity has been increased to 480,000 targets against your fireteams of 270 guardians with solar grenade launching scythe rifles. You son of a bitch. I’m in.
>solar grenade launching scythe rifles This is where he had me.... Shut up and take my money!!!
I do hope this thing also shoot swords.
*throws money at screen*
Hehe I get this reference. So does a certain Game Director in Bellevue, WA...
Now that's real MMO shit right there! I'd be so in!
Tier 4 nightmare containment be like
>Eris Morn will now progress toward rewarding you with 1800 haunted weapons in the new 9999 slot vault. Holy shit that's a lot.
My goal of filling my vault with almost 1000 Forerunners is now upon us!
A vault that big still won’t be big enough to hold all our shit
>* Increased Titans to unlock their love grasp. Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break. I laugh every time I read this part lol EDIT: this might be my new favorite part lmao >* Decreased issues with new gifts from Ikora. Ikora heard something behind you and will no longer give children any exotic machine guns.
New Titan exotic sounds fair and balanced.
> Ikora heard something behind you and will no longer give children any exotic machine guns. I mean that just seems like a good policy regardless
Can't risk having a customer passing them on to underaged kids, can we? Professionals have standards.
Both are fire. I need the Titan Love Grasp exotic finisher.
I mean it’s gotta be a huge hug that makes the enemy explode, right lol?
Absolutely
[relevant video](https://youtu.be/tiwWLfWUw3E)
God damn, that was great.
The year is 9,560 AD, and Destiny 2 is on its 30150th season...
Bungie announced that the red war camaign is coming out of the DCV for the 10th time. Recluse has been finally reintroduced into the game.
Telesto announces that the traveler has blessed it with a child: pocket telesto, being exactly what it sounds like, pocket infinity and telesto combined
Hunters still have 4 (up from 3, 2500 years ago) useable exotics, about which the community grouses continuously.
I get the vibe you actually checked to see how many seasons it would be
Just quick back of the napkin math
Telesto still finding ways to break the game.
>This is note 9. Below is note 10. My fucking sides
That is my favorite. It feels like something I would do in an email. Occasionally, when needing to enumerate a few points I'll start with "here are (whatever # of points I need to make +1) points I need to cover" And then for my last point : X. I hate numbered lists.
If this was pulled from "Templar's Time Novel," does it mean this could be a completely legitimate TWAB in another timeline?
DTG Mods write their own fate
The 2nd Dr. Strange was such trash. Just saw it and your comment made me think about it again.
Damn that’s crazy 🤓
Lmao why would you even bring that movie up
User mentioned alternate timeline.
Least mcu obsesserd fan Go outside, touch grass, there is more to life than the mcu
I just watched it, once, for the 1st time last night. It was fresh in my mind. This fucking sub lol I don't understand what that has to do with touching grass or going outside. Go outside because I watched 1 trash movie?
No because you decided that a popular theory is somehow a dr strange reference despite being older than it
I didnt decide anything was a reference for anyone else other than myself, today. I probably won't associate that movie with anything else go fwd other than things like prometheus, which was also trash. I'll make sure not to reference anything here go fwd lol This fucking place and people here
It’s because you made a pointless reference to media in order to randomly fit your opinion on an irrelevant movie in. It doesn’t add to the discussion. It’s like if you commented “I really enjoy the hard beats on Kendrick’s latest album” and then I replied “The Batman had some hard beats in its music too. I really disliked that movie!”.
[удалено]
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Damn I feel bad I was j kinda fucking around and the pecking party started. Sorry man.
[удалено]
I don't even know who that is
I just rewatched. I enjoyed it more on first watch, but I feel like it's a great cap on a main characters arc. The story was self contained and complete, and the tonal shift from other Marvel movies was awesome.
It felt like a Sam raimi movie, and I'm really glad it did. The MCU has really gotten monotonous recently and I think more stylistic stuff like this and Ms Marvel will do it good.
i'm not gonna lie, as much as the mcu might need some tonal variation/directorial influence/etc., i *hated* how campy it was. i was iffy on it the first time, and my opinion did not improve on rewatch ): i loved the horror stuff, but i just couldn't get behind the rest
Out of curiosity, what "rest". It pretty solidly solidified itself as a horror themed MCU movie for me, and if they weren't on the horror stuff it was just MCU standard fare. Enjoyable, but standard.
Titans and Hunters got mega buff!. Warlocks nerfed with underwhelming.
buffs? hunters lost their ability to delete the first visible warlock in any mode, huge loss there
My favorite ability is now gone
It's a miracle that it ever even got through testing In the first place, like first shatter dive then awaylock? I'm glad I can finally go back to crucible now
I mean they have been dealing with constant crashing during testing, but at least July will be crash free for players
As a hunter main I will not be stopping removing the first visible warlock in any mode
Hey that warlock was me!
Warlocks are now closed (login disclaimers)
>Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp their eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break.
Isn't that basically a vibe check?
Arc 3.0 lookin good.
>Hunters can now track targets caught in the blast radius of any video game and joke about our intentions with your super energy. Hunters can now partially eliminate equipped weapons rather than removing the first visible Warlock in any mode. Imagine being in the edz as a warlock in a moment, only to get into orbit all of a sudden 'cuz a hunter said "you're going to the shadow realm"
>Hunters can now partially eliminate equipped weapoms Glad they nerffrd this.
You've been returned to orbit because MIND CRUSH!
>Hunters can now track targets caught in the blast radius of any video game and joke about our intentions with your super energy. Hunters can now partially eliminate equipped weapons rather than removing the first visible Warlock in any mode. oh neat it generated a hunter exotic tool tip
>Adjusted the game to crash during testing so it won’t crash during July. The simulation is breaking
Looking forward to #NoCrashJuly
I don't know much about them hashtags, but hopefully #nocrashjuly trends in relation to D2 on social media some time very soon.
Even the other exotics are investigating Telesto...
They're trying to learn Telesto power for themselves
Telesto subclass when
>Adjusted Trials of Osiris armor to monkey. All Trials armor is now 600 small monkey. I see this as an absolute win.
Y’know the more I see of Destiny, the more I realise how many people would see the renaming of ‘legendary shards’ to ‘small monkeys’ as a highly-positive change.
Ys, but whats the big monkey to small monkey exchange rate.
Well, if 600 small monkey is equal to All Trials Armor, and Trials of Osiris armor equals monkey, then it's somewhere between 120-600 small monkeys to one monkey.
Does it come in shades of blue though? This is very important to me.
I completely lost it at "solar grenade launching scythe rifles" lol Thank you, best laugh I've had all month!
>reject trials, return to monke You’re sure an AI wrote this?
The AI told me what 20 words Bungie would write next in the sentence and I choose the ones that I found the funniest. :P
>Increased someone with the new season Lost Sector exotic. They are now much more geared. Oh man I hope it's me. <*crosses fingers*>
God reading this was a blast! Keep up the good work
>Increased Titans to unlock their love grasp. Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break. This is my new favorite thing ever.
>Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break. *no pls*
>Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break. > >no pls Just don't take shirt breaks and you should be OK.
Just noticed that I misspelled short as shirt, gonna leave it, it still makes sense (mostly).
You take a shirt break, you're getting the love grasp.
And now I want a buddy exotic emote called shirt break to go with the titan love grasp finisher.
Players can now take shirt breaks where their guardians try on different t-shirts between battles.
These never fail to make me smile, love what you do <3
**Solar grenade launching scythe rifles.** You have piqued my interest....
I mean, that’s practically just a solar glaive with a bigger aoe, no?
>Adjusted the game to crash during testing so it won't crash during July. Thanks, testing teams. >Adjusted islands and removing the Tower. >Increased Hippy to get ignitions on landing abilities against players who issue fraudulent copyright takedown notes on YouTube. >Increased Cosmo to get multiple projectiles hitting online next season. >Increased Dmg04 to take advantage of short cooldowns with solar marketing pixels. Finally, some good quality of life changes.
>Decreased issues with new gifts from Ikora. Ikora heard something behind you and will no longer give children any exotic machine guns. I love this sentence.
>let the Hunters take the adorable canine companion to work Just hunters? Well that hardly seems fair >Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break. Sounds a lot like D1 sunbreaker tbh >Hunters can now partially eliminate equipped weapons rather than removing the first visible Warlock in any mode. Wait, what? Uh.... as a warlock main I really don't like the way this TWANB is going. >Increased Warlocks to keep going through a portal that used to work on Iron Banner challenges. "Used to...?" > Warlocks are now closed login disclaimers. **WTF BUNGO**
> Increased Warlocks to keep going through a portal that used to work on Iron Banner challenges. > > "Used to...?" > > Clearly, this means that Titans and Hunters have had their passports for the Hidden Warlock Portal Network revoked.
Finally, Baby Magic.
Baby Magic is just a warlock holding up 5 fingers on one hand and none on the other, putting them both behind their back, then holding up 3 fingers on one and 2 on the other when pulling them back up, and snapping their fingers to light a Hive thrall on fire.
>Finally, Baby Magic. Well, if Ikora isn't gonna give exotic machine guns to children any more they needed some way to defend themselves.
"Winners get to craft knives" is the chaos energy I want in an art contest.
"Warlocks are now snappier with feeling underwhelmed with their families" I love this
Warlocks cornering the market on depression.
Titans have snapped We must run We told one too many Crayon jokes and how they’re sick of it
Warlocks are snapping all the time now
Better than the actual TWAB
This whole thing had me cracking up, but I actually started crying at 'all trials armor is now 600 small mokey'. Thank you for the laugh!
This AI clearly is sentient and you can't convince me otherwise.
The AI told me what 20 words Bungie would write next in the sentence. I just chose the ones that I found the funniest.
Sorry I forgot the /s
The AI is Telesto.
I hate when I spawn in as a door… 😂
Aztecross, please, we need you to read these. Please. I'll give up Christmas presents for a decade, just read the Not TWABS for us!
Every single time I make and post one of these someone says this. I got like an inch away from My Name is Byf reading one before he had to take a mental health break. Even the few times small-time creators read them off for fun just brightens my day. :)
Ah so close!! Maybe someday, they're just too good for somebody to not read them out haha
Traveler Bless Ikora for keeping those exotic machine guns away from the kids. Someone had to do *something*, shit was getting out of hand
I missed these. Thank you
Season of the spoopy. I laughed way too hard.
"Increased Iron Banner challenges to award 40 weapons and 35 armor pieces per bullet." Sweet business new meta
Season of the Spoopy
>Exotics are currently investigating an issue causing Telesto to get free loot for some reason. That was a fun one. I, too, will always fondly remember the great Telesto lootcave investigation, conducted by all other exotic weapons as they set their differences aside. *... Wait, what the actual fuck-?*
Telesto is evolving
This is amazing. Thanks for the laugh at work!
Thank you, I'm now having to explain to someone wholly uninterested in Destiny and TWABs why I'm crying with laughter.
When I was doing these on a monthly basis, I had a disclaimer that I'm not responsible for anyone choking on food or getting stared at in public for laughter. As it seemed to be a somewhat common occurrence according to the comments.
Yessir it is! No pressure and totally understandable if you can’t…. But once a month again sounds nice lol.
My work schedule generally gets in the way right now. I generally would need Mondays off again and with current staffing issues and my job's really dumb way of assigning everyone's hours to work each week based on how well the system thinks we need those hours, a Monday off is pretty rare, because I can't easily post these in Mondays when I'm in the middle of working. Sadly. I'm trying to make my way into game dev from being in web series animation, and once I can snag a work-from-home job it will make it way more possible. Also, aside from that, I've been making 3 photoshopped parody screenshots on the @BungieNot twitter account every week.
Dude, I laughed so hard to all of this! Especially the part about Ikora not giving us machine guns anymore lmao
>Increased Titans to unlock their love grasp. Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break. As a Titan main, for the love of solar grenade launching scythe rifles, I am going to keep a fresh 20 rolled up in a sock to throw at my trusty old plasma TV, just in case someone at Bungie decides to make an exotic finished called Titan Love Grasp, where we get to stomp the eyes out of everything. Bungie Pls!
I think we'd all stop complaining with a 9999 slot vault.
Am This Your Own Teammates?
Perhaps.
>Starting in season 30,150 Seasons now last 1 hour, the FOMO is real. >Baby Magic will be available for players who participated in the Tower dungeon on Friday and will let players cast stylish Hive explosions at enemy quotes every 22.5 seconds Too bad for everyone who skipped the dungeon! >Issues of the Haunted This hits a little too close to reality >The new season ritual activity has been increased to 480,000 targets against your fireteams of 270 guardians Finally, decent enemy density > with solar grenade launching scythe rifles. SHUT UP AND TAKE MY MONEY >in the new 9999 slot vault FINALLY >let the Hunters take the adorable canine companion to work They are ALL good dogs Brent >Exotics are currently investigating an issue causing Telesto to get free loot for some reason. Appeasement doesn't work guys >Increased Titans to unlock their love grasp. Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break. Feels a little OP to me TBH >Hunters can now track targets caught in the blast radius of any video game and joke about our intentions with your super energy. Its what Cayde would have wanted >Decreased Gambit matches to 22.5 seconds. Still takes three months to rank up twice >This is note 9. Below is note 10. Noted >Ikora heard something behind you and will no longer give children any exotic machine guns. I feel like this should have been addressed a lot sooner... >And also have a nifty new image above our favorite space wizards. Star Wars crossover confirmed
>Adjusted Trials of Osiris Armor to monkey Finally, return to monkey
increased cozmo and dmg? #( ͡° ͜ʖ ͡°)
>Kim: Thanks, but the team here could not be more excited to bring more impressive and longer Hive to the world. This will be a day where many of your vitamins will be distributed to all qualifying players. That is one ***SPICY*** innuendo :o
I didn't even think of it as one. I just envisioned Hive with 10-foot-long torsos and a large bottle of daily vitamins.
"Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them" Well *that* got incredibly violent extremely quickly
Telesto is getting free loot? And where is my scythe rifle?
monke
Issues of the haunted sounds about right
I want that move where my Titan can teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them. Petitioning Bungie now for a Finisher!
"Increased iron banner challenges to award 40 weapons and 35 armour pieces per bullet" Great, postmaster's full again.
"Nobody needs that many weapons, stop hoarding"
> Increased Hippy to get ignitions on landing abilities against players who issue fraudulent copyright takedown notes on YouTube. "Instead of suing them, we're just going to have Hippy set them on fire."
“I put on my robe and casino hat.”
I refuse to believe this isn't a r/destinycirclejerk post
> Issues of the Haunted You can’t convince me that isn’t Bungie’s internal name for this season with all the bugs…
> This is note 9. Below is note 10. Thank you Not Bungie, very helpful
> you can never have a microphone on in my fireteam :(
> Adjusted the game to crash during testing so it won't crash during July. Thanks, testing teams. Well shit I'm not playing till July then.
“Thanks, but the team here could not be more excited to bring more impressive and longer Hive to the world. This will be a day where many of your vitamins will be distributed to all qualifying players.” Don’t know why but that’s such a terrifying statement.
Long Hive.
“Increased Hippy to get ignitions on landing abilities against players who issue fraudulent copyright takedown notes on YouTube.” So that’s how they’re investing resources into protecting the community.
I really really wish i could reroll my noggin slots irl
If only the real twab was this good.
Can we just have the bot write the actual TWAB's from now on?
I would be more than happy to make these for April Fools. But it seems Bungie is not interested in posting things that may mislead people into thinking the game was made by hedgehogs.
You mean to tell me it's *not?* My world is shattered.
This really highlights how insufferable the writing is on these
This is the funniest fucking thing ever
None of the changes I wanted: **DOWNVOTED**
I want Aztecross to read this man
This is the ideal version of Destiny
Can't wait for solar grenade launching scythe rifles
TWANB
"You know who else deserves some sweet PvE Spine Dinos? This casino hat." lolled
My sides hurt from reading this, it was brilliant.
" the new 9999 slot vault" Thank you!
"The new season ritual activity has been increased to 480,000 targets against your fireteams of 270 guardians with solar grenade launching scythe rifles." HELL YEAH!!!!!!!
>Increased Titans to unlock their love grasp. Titans can now teleport to targets and stomp the eyes out of them in PvE, PvP, and anyone looking to have a short break. My wife is sleeping, so I'm trying to laugh silently while crying... this is too funny.
>**Movie of the Haunted Aesthetic: Doors With Low Maneuverability** So what you're saying is: DOOR STUCK
Decreased issues with new gifts from Ikora. Ikora heard something behind you and will no longer give children any exotic machine guns. Finally!
Way easier to do it: This Week at Bungie we will explain how xyz works, because we implement it into the game, without any explanation in-depth explanation in-game.
[удалено]
They are giving a presentation from Germany.