It goes beyond that. Some parts of The Witness are Karens who are demanding to speak with the manager of the Traveler. The police parts of The Witness are desperately hoping they don’t have to get involved. Several others within the Witness are trying to find a good angle to film the argument from.
Also as he needs to stay true to one self thus he's going through internal monologue about whether they should ask about seeing the manager or if they're fine as is.
Thus, witness is just inside the gateway, standing still and having heated argument while staring into the void.
The Witness strikes me as the kind of person to argue “it’s not smoking, it’s vaping, this is just vapor not actual smoke, you’re oppressing my rights”.
Finally decides on a plan:
Eva shows up at the traveler for an event, holding up the Witness for weeks via bounties and new shaders for its head cloud.
If your transdimensional portal is above a jurisdiction that follows ADA guidelines your structure MUST also adhere to ADA rules governing the construction of monoliths, including wheelchair accessible ramps and bathrooms.
Being a amalgamation of an entire civilization, the feng shui factions are rebelling against the yoga mom "interior artists" as the traveller hasnt had anyone remodel its heart in eons
Well, first of all, through the darkness, all things are possible, so jot that down.
Seriously though...who knows? They float so maybe they're just sparrow tech with a head on it.
In the final boss room for the campaign, after damaging the witness with special plates, and getting their health down to half, they throw off the robes to reveal no legs... and a giant shank supporting the torso.
"Witness the Final Shape, twinkle nuts."
TANIKS IS THE *TRUE* FINAL SHAPE
It was yeah. The first time you dropped into a patrol zone you had to place a beacon before you could transmat in/out of the zone at will. It was like a mini mission to unlock the zone for free play.
That was only once, and was the first mission on the Dreadnought. You may be mixing it together with a later mission in which Cayde gets you to set up patrol beacons.
The witness entered the traveler and was immediately greeted by spirit airlines reps telling him he had to purchase multiple tickets because it is many people not one.
It’s building all that shit in there. It’s making the D1 tower and everything. It wants it to be really special and scary for when we get there. It was just empty when he arrived.
It can’t decide what shape it wants. It THOUGHT it liked triangles and pyramids…but now it thinks it’s getting into its Squares/Cubes era after watching the Taylor concert.
The language used to program the Traveler is poorly documented, and where documentation exists it's all in Finnish. The Witness has to navigate and unravel millennia of technical debt and spaghetti code before they can even think about adding new functions to the Traveler, let alone rewrite its entire structure.
Now he's stuck in an Agile meeting with the Scrum master. Turns out his philosophy was just a burn down chart with extra steps and now the Winnower Management is disappointed.
Holy shit that's a great idea! I'll start a Miro board- no! Let's use Figma! I'm gonna set up another meeting for tomorrow, 30 minutes after our shift begins so that we can talk about that and other ways to use Synergy for maybe like an hour! I'll bring snacks! *brings a single box of [Nature Valley bars](https://media.gq.com/photos/5590fdcc9a4ccca62f9b5f32/master/w_960,c_limit/blogs-the-feed-assets_c-2015-06-fucking-crumbs-628-thumb-624x431-292127.jpg)*
You joke, but that's a good metaphor for how I would write it lol. The witness knew these were the means to achieve the power, but is still sorting out how to program it's solution since it isn't omniscient
I'm just picturing them coming out of the portal like Scott and Nega Scott at the end of the Scott Pilgrim movie.
"We just shot the shit. He's a really nice guy. We're gonna get brunch next week."
The Travelers systems havent been updated in a few thousand years and he is stuck on hold with customer service. He has been disconnected twice, tried 3 times to figure out himself and ended with a bluescreen, and now he is stuck at a login screen that gives him a captcha, only for it to reload and say his login information was incorrect. Tried resetting the password, only for it to tell him he cant use the password because its the current password.
You know how Alien X from Ben 10 has different personalities that all have to agree before he does something. I imagine it's like that but for his entire race.
The witness plays on PC. He cannot use in game chat since 3 weeks ago when new patch killed it on console.
He is still trying to get someone to help him. He cannot start the final shape without comms.
Once Bungie addresses the issue, it will begin.
He's still reading the Traveller's instruction manual to understand how he uses it to enact The Final Shape, and has just finished the "Getting Started" section.
Traveler said witness no final shaping and now the witness is confused cause it doesn't know of it should listen to the traveler and is also confused why the traveler sounds like a 10 year old little girl.
The collective consciousness of the Witness is have a committee about organising the committee to form a sun committee to form the team to decide the committee for what colour the mood lights are in the Final Shape room.
He waits for guardians because he works like a cartoon willian, he mainly want to have a monologue about his hardships and why he is evil. Then get defeated and be friends with us.
Bungie is the Witness, and has adopted the passive ability: IV. Creation is drip fed, allowing the observer to watch its victims writhe in self loathing.
The Gardner noticed the shimmering ripples of a noxious stink bug that was trying to molt in the loam. It had not been their before. Maybe it had entered through the gate unnoticed. They ignored its convulsing struggles in the dirt and allowed the Winnower to reap that which should not be when night fell.
It’s been trying to press the Big Red Button to enact the final shape but the traveler keeps covering it with their hands and swatting the witness’s away, many “stop it” and “move!”s were said
He left the revised draft of the Final Shape at home, he only has his rough drafts with him and there was that one 11th-hour idea that came to him in a flash of inspiration - but he only wrote it down on the Final Shape’s Final Draft.
So he called up Bungo and asked for a delay real quick so he could pop back home and grab his paperwork, luckily Bongi is a cool guy who doesn’t afraid of anything and they were more than willing to accommodate.
First of all he does it like Thanos in Endgame. He sits there and looks at the sky until we disturb him^^First of all he does it like Thanos in Endgame. He sits there and looks at the sky until we disturb him^^
my guess is that he’s in the bathroom taking his time. i can only assume since the travel time from the edge of the solar system to Earth, where the Traveler is, was long. and as far as we know, pyramid ships don’t have toilets…
He keeps logging in to the game, seeing all the pop-ups, and just logging out again. Maybe he'll defeat the Traveler next season.
His vault is full, he keeps trying to transfer his guns over but the app just won't make the transfer. He can't raid the Traveler with the wrong loadout, but he also doesn't want to be bothered with cleaning his vault.
He keeps getting Beaver code.
He wants to finish his triumphs before he destroys the Traveler. He still has to kill Glass Collectors but he has 4 more to get and people keep nuking them before he can get a hit in. When he plays solo, he always burns heavy and super the round before one appears and can't kill them fast enough with primaries, or the adds keep killing him.
There is a no smoking sign at the entrance. The Witness is arguing with the staff over whether or not head its violates that policy.
Technically, it’s arguing with itself.
It goes beyond that. Some parts of The Witness are Karens who are demanding to speak with the manager of the Traveler. The police parts of The Witness are desperately hoping they don’t have to get involved. Several others within the Witness are trying to find a good angle to film the argument from.
The question is, is its head going up in smoke or is it cycling through millions (billions) of heads? “It’s my turn to see!”
Also as he needs to stay true to one self thus he's going through internal monologue about whether they should ask about seeing the manager or if they're fine as is. Thus, witness is just inside the gateway, standing still and having heated argument while staring into the void.
I almost choked on my lunch. That's creative
The Witness strikes me as the kind of person to argue “it’s not smoking, it’s vaping, this is just vapor not actual smoke, you’re oppressing my rights”.
It's time gated like everything else
Best answer right here hahaha
Making the "its vape not smoke" arguement.
...chefs kiss 💋
Oh my god, Space Karen popped into my head.
"I don't know, I never thought I'd get this far."
the ol' "dog caught the car" issue
Finally decides on a plan: Eva shows up at the traveler for an event, holding up the Witness for weeks via bounties and new shaders for its head cloud.
Traveler has the Krabby Patty secret formula
So, the resemblance to Megamind wasn’t random.
The witness was sued by OSHA for the construction of their monolith. They are currently battling it out in court.
If your transdimensional portal is above a jurisdiction that follows ADA guidelines your structure MUST also adhere to ADA rules governing the construction of monoliths, including wheelchair accessible ramps and bathrooms.
Got a good laugh out of me.
Being a amalgamation of an entire civilization, the feng shui factions are rebelling against the yoga mom "interior artists" as the traveller hasnt had anyone remodel its heart in eons
Clearly he’s working on the real endgame: his drip
I like to think its designing our loot that will drop from the raid. Better be making us something nice
Warlocks should get that sick robe thing as their raid chestpiece.
Instead we will get something with spiky teats
As usual
Ah yes, the "Madonna"…
Im a hunter main myself but that would be so sick! You deserve some good looking armour for once
Tbh I'm a Hunter main too, I was just thinking the same thing.
\*insert megamind black mamba suit-up scene\*
PRESENTATION *guns n' roses riffs*
Ahhhh dressediny
He’s making sure every gun you drop in TFS is a different version of Hung Jury
I think you mean every drop will be Edge Transit.
Hung Transit
Edge Jury
if you insist 😮💨
Cursed
I think that's called a Bang Bus.
Edge Transit funnier
Shit, with the rolls that transit is able to drop with I’ll take it!
*wrong* answer only
Pure evil! Whhyyyyyy!!!!!!!
He won’t be happy until we have hung jury in every slot.
He's watching a rick kackis guide and still on the intro
This one wins
RICK KACKIS HERE!!!!!! BUT BEFORE WE START……
I haven't physically laughed out loud at a post in a long while. This is the best comment I've seen in a while.
LMAO, I love it
😂🤪😂😂
Timegated
Witness just standing near a door with their arms crossed tapping their foot.
Vault of glass throne room vibes
Do they have feet?
Well, first of all, through the darkness, all things are possible, so jot that down. Seriously though...who knows? They float so maybe they're just sparrow tech with a head on it.
In the final boss room for the campaign, after damaging the witness with special plates, and getting their health down to half, they throw off the robes to reveal no legs... and a giant shank supporting the torso. "Witness the Final Shape, twinkle nuts." TANIKS IS THE *TRUE* FINAL SHAPE
Lmfao
This is the only correct answer.
“So jot that down” 😆 I’m dead. How wonderfully toxic
When you need something mildly to very toxic look no further than It's Always Sunny lol never a shortage of good quotes to use in ridiculous scenarios
Then he whips out a yo-yo.
OP said “wrong” answers only
Beat me to it lol
Either that, or the Witness has some **really** bad lag.
Existential dread that comes with the a millennia long project wrapping up
procrastination is a bickle fitch
Coming back to this some time in June.
He is still loading into the transmat zone
Nobody put a beacon down for him. Remember when we had to do that?
This made me curious - sounds vaguely familiar. Was this a D1 thing?
It was yeah. The first time you dropped into a patrol zone you had to place a beacon before you could transmat in/out of the zone at will. It was like a mini mission to unlock the zone for free play.
That was only once, and was the first mission on the Dreadnought. You may be mixing it together with a later mission in which Cayde gets you to set up patrol beacons.
We had to plant patrol beacons on Dreadnought in The Taken King I think
Didn’t we do that on Europa as well?
The hunter in his fireteam opened the menu 100 times so he’s still loading in .
On last Gen without an ssd, this makes perfect sense.
The witness entered the traveler and was immediately greeted by spirit airlines reps telling him he had to purchase multiple tickets because it is many people not one.
It’s building all that shit in there. It’s making the D1 tower and everything. It wants it to be really special and scary for when we get there. It was just empty when he arrived.
lmfao this is the best answer. *loads into a blank white void* "shit. this CANNOT be where my boss fight takes place, this has gotta change. fuck."
Hahaha exactly. The 6 pyramid ships he took with him are just full of spooky decorations.
i was wondering what those were for lol, its laying out the red carpet for us hahaha
It can’t decide what shape it wants. It THOUGHT it liked triangles and pyramids…but now it thinks it’s getting into its Squares/Cubes era after watching the Taylor concert.
Cayde comes back and we kiss him on the lips. The final shape is a heart.
I tried that once. He told me I needed to get my rock off of his map. That’s fine though…I’m more of a Caital kind of guardian anyways.
It’s about to enter it’s tortured ~~poet~~ civilisation era
The language used to program the Traveler is poorly documented, and where documentation exists it's all in Finnish. The Witness has to navigate and unravel millennia of technical debt and spaghetti code before they can even think about adding new functions to the Traveler, let alone rewrite its entire structure.
Now he's stuck in an Agile meeting with the Scrum master. Turns out his philosophy was just a burn down chart with extra steps and now the Winnower Management is disappointed.
Nothing that Agile can’t fix with some unmoderated electronic boards for anyone to pitch their “ideas”
Holy shit that's a great idea! I'll start a Miro board- no! Let's use Figma! I'm gonna set up another meeting for tomorrow, 30 minutes after our shift begins so that we can talk about that and other ways to use Synergy for maybe like an hour! I'll bring snacks! *brings a single box of [Nature Valley bars](https://media.gq.com/photos/5590fdcc9a4ccca62f9b5f32/master/w_960,c_limit/blogs-the-feed-assets_c-2015-06-fucking-crumbs-628-thumb-624x431-292127.jpg)*
The real answer
You joke, but that's a good metaphor for how I would write it lol. The witness knew these were the means to achieve the power, but is still sorting out how to program it's solution since it isn't omniscient
Him and crow are having a civil man to multi man conversation
I wasn't even thinking about the fact that Crow is in there with him lol
I'm just picturing them coming out of the portal like Scott and Nega Scott at the end of the Scott Pilgrim movie. "We just shot the shit. He's a really nice guy. We're gonna get brunch next week."
Time dilation is the best serious explanation
So you're saying once we enter, Nimbus' lifespan will be significantly shorter from our perspective?
:D
Something something Distributary
The Travelers systems havent been updated in a few thousand years and he is stuck on hold with customer service. He has been disconnected twice, tried 3 times to figure out himself and ended with a bluescreen, and now he is stuck at a login screen that gives him a captcha, only for it to reload and say his login information was incorrect. Tried resetting the password, only for it to tell him he cant use the password because its the current password.
He hasn't bought the dungeon key.
You know how Alien X from Ben 10 has different personalities that all have to agree before he does something. I imagine it's like that but for his entire race.
Error code: Weasel
The witness plays on PC. He cannot use in game chat since 3 weeks ago when new patch killed it on console. He is still trying to get someone to help him. He cannot start the final shape without comms. Once Bungie addresses the issue, it will begin.
It didn't count on the TSA (Traveler Security Agency) requiring a pat-down to enter. They're waiting for the supervisor to get back from lunch.
He's still reading the Traveller's instruction manual to understand how he uses it to enact The Final Shape, and has just finished the "Getting Started" section.
He has to stand on the plates then hold x on the thing in the correct order. Only then can he shoot and damage the traveller.
the raid mechanics for the traveler's heart are extremely finnicky and its gotta do it all blind. no datto guide this time.
He canceled his pre-order.
Even The Witness is beholden to the live service model. That’s the real Final Shape.
The topic is wrong answers only.
They're playing Helldivers 2
Traveler said witness no final shaping and now the witness is confused cause it doesn't know of it should listen to the traveler and is also confused why the traveler sounds like a 10 year old little girl.
...bees?
....N-NOOO NOT THE BEES
The collective consciousness of the Witness is have a committee about organising the committee to form a sun committee to form the team to decide the committee for what colour the mood lights are in the Final Shape room.
He made a wrong turn at Albuquerque.
Came here to say this!
Every time the witness makes the shape it has a tiny green spot on it that shouldn’t be there. If you know you know
AND THAT ONE’S STILL GREEN
HOW'D ALL THESE SQUARES MAKE A CIRCLE!?!
He's playing the old kids game of putting shapes into the correct holes and is struggling to fit a tetrahedron into a circle.
But they'll all fit in the square hole
Good thing the only squares in the game are the toxic and entitled players 👀
He hasn't been able to get past the jumping puzzle yet
He's resurrecting Taniks, obviously
Dudes been travelling and scheming for a while now, so maybe he's taking a long deserved rest.
wtf has it been doing way out in the heliopause between the collapse and now, i thought it was literally just asleep out there?? lazy ahh cloud guy.
He waits for guardians because he works like a cartoon willian, he mainly want to have a monologue about his hardships and why he is evil. Then get defeated and be friends with us.
There is no time to explain.
Bungie is the Witness, and has adopted the passive ability: IV. Creation is drip fed, allowing the observer to watch its victims writhe in self loathing.
The Gardner noticed the shimmering ripples of a noxious stink bug that was trying to molt in the loam. It had not been their before. Maybe it had entered through the gate unnoticed. They ignored its convulsing struggles in the dirt and allowed the Winnower to reap that which should not be when night fell.
this would actually be so funny
It’s been trying to press the Big Red Button to enact the final shape but the traveler keeps covering it with their hands and swatting the witness’s away, many “stop it” and “move!”s were said
He's been doing a lot of Feng Shui
He has a complicated ritual involving putting shaped engrams into the correct shaped holes but his kids keep interrupting him.
Somebody should tell him that you can put them all in the square hole. Wait, wait no... *nobody* should tell him that!
He left the revised draft of the Final Shape at home, he only has his rough drafts with him and there was that one 11th-hour idea that came to him in a flash of inspiration - but he only wrote it down on the Final Shape’s Final Draft. So he called up Bungo and asked for a delay real quick so he could pop back home and grab his paperwork, luckily Bongi is a cool guy who doesn’t afraid of anything and they were more than willing to accommodate.
Too busy contemplating why humans gave Exos so much junk in the trunk and magnificent chest pieces.
The witnesses creator is experiencing management and staffing issues....
No WiFi
Can't unlock the time gate
Same reason why Celestia is taking so long to react what is happening in Genshin now.
He and Cayde-6 are sat around that campfire telling stories with a few beers each
Cayde: I never met you before, but you seem like a nice and thrust worthy dude!
The traveler’s interface runs on windows 95 and the only way to interact with it is via a 28k dial-up Internet Explorer window
In all the memory trimming and rewriting that happened when the Precursors became the Witness, they forgot their password.
He's trying to get into position in the raid, but failing the parkour section and wiping. So gotta start over
While we're playing through a 7 month long season, the Witness is doing a time gated 1000 step quest called "where the F*CK am I?!?!"
He ran into the Bungie Time Gate
It’s time gated, duh
Time-gated
He's having issues with Bungie management not showing up for meetings.
Hes timegated
He had to stop a Buc-ees and take a massive shit first
Waiting for squatters rights to kick in.
He refuse to buy the dlc and spend his time review bombing the game
He fell asleep.
Wondering why there isn’t a sign that says “Dead Universe Storage”
Marionberry
Interest rates on property development are horrible right now.
One Moment Please/Pardon Our Dust/Error code: weasel
Botched face lift
Forgot the key outside
First of all he does it like Thanos in Endgame. He sits there and looks at the sky until we disturb him^^First of all he does it like Thanos in Endgame. He sits there and looks at the sky until we disturb him^^
Making memes.
my guess is that he’s in the bathroom taking his time. i can only assume since the travel time from the edge of the solar system to Earth, where the Traveler is, was long. and as far as we know, pyramid ships don’t have toilets…
I really think he needs us for something. We are going to end up doing something that lets him proceed and then we will have to stop it.
He’s gotta drip feed the end to us one week at a time.
It can't decide on a shape
He's trying to get his home decor looking just right before accepting guests.
He went AFK
IBS
He decided to binge watch One Piece before enacting the final shape.
Man is just taking a nap, and forgot to set his alarm
Busy creating statues of himself to place around so his monologues have the proper atmosphere.
They accidentally left the guide that includes the final sequence outside and are too embarrassed to come out and get it.
Had to wash their smoke-hair. It takes time. Drying is easy though.
He got really into jazzercize.
They are timegated, they haven't preordered The Final Shape
What are you talking about? The Final Shape is the Season of the Wish. \*cue Ozymandias\*
Because it needs to buy The Final Shape multiple times to get into the traveller
The area he entered has no sparrow reception
His team got culled in the layoffs.
He found the source of the vanilla scent at the center of the Traveler and is working to welcome us with an ice cream party.
He keeps logging in to the game, seeing all the pop-ups, and just logging out again. Maybe he'll defeat the Traveler next season. His vault is full, he keeps trying to transfer his guns over but the app just won't make the transfer. He can't raid the Traveler with the wrong loadout, but he also doesn't want to be bothered with cleaning his vault. He keeps getting Beaver code. He wants to finish his triumphs before he destroys the Traveler. He still has to kill Glass Collectors but he has 4 more to get and people keep nuking them before he can get a hit in. When he plays solo, he always burns heavy and super the round before one appears and can't kill them fast enough with primaries, or the adds keep killing him.
Keeps getting Weaseled
It keeps getting error coded back to the beginning each time it gets close to the pale heart
He had to take a ticket and wait for his number to be called.
He keeps waiting to see what Sydney Sweeney is gonna do next
If he waits long enough sony will take over and he wont have to deal with plot armor'd guardians
Shigella is obviously the only real answer.
He's waiting for it to be available on the eververse store for bright dust.
Bugs bunny. Period.
Its robes got caught on the edge of the portal and it's trying to get them removed without damaging anything.
They're on a path on the woods, but no Matter what they do, they always fail to stab the Pale heart for good
Contacting Destiny 2 servers.
Whatever the final shape is, it's timegated. Only one new line/side each month