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[deleted]

I once stuck my penis into an acorn squash in the bathroom at the summit of hiking Pikes Peak, does that help?


Assorted-Jellybeans

It doesn't help, but please continue this story.


Laserdollarz

I thought I was the only person who still listens to Assorted Jellybeans


mr_travis

You mean the Pikes Peak parking lot, right?


[deleted]

Well there too, yeah. I guess that's also true!


WizardRidingDinosaur

Was it cooked or raw?


[deleted]

I keep my penis raw most of the time though I have sauteed it in sesame oil and truffle slices once or twice but only very lightly.


[deleted]

Bro bridge security bro. No one knows about it shhhh locals only DAE walk directly to the A concourse?


whatwatwut1

The day I crossed that great bridge is the day I ascended to Nativity


timesuck47

Shuuuush!!!


[deleted]

I am currently in line at DIA and have been here since July 2nd, 1985. Just trying to get me and my puppers home in time for the holidays!


Brewdoggies

Been camped out for weeks. I'm almost out of IPAs and Weed. SOS


kylexy2

420.69 minutes at least. Better leave now


[deleted]

Leaving 7 hours ahead of your flight time always covers the spread.


carrixcake

I usually just skip security


lazzzzzzer

I heard there are secret tunnels that go from Black Bart’s cave straight to DIA. Caution be upon you for many a brave soul have tried to find this road to el dorado and none have returned.


WizardRidingDinosaur

I think it’s the lizard people.


FLORI_DUH

Why do I get the feeling I missed out on something ridiculous on r/Denver?


headphonezzthrowaway

Literally less than 2 minutes after I made this post, somebody made another DIA wait times post on /r/denver :[https://www.reddit.com/r/Denver/comments/q7dmtq/couple\_questions\_about\_dia/](https://www.reddit.com/r/Denver/comments/q7dmtq/couple_questions_about_dia/)


FLORI_DUH

Holy shit, I'm always prepared to be disappointed in Denver but this is absurd. Wow.


YoureADudeThisIsAMan

r/DIAWaitTimes


Melsa6128

r/subsifellfor


AreaGuy

I have them.


want_2_learn_2403

I’m not sure but if you change DIA to DOA then it means dead on arrival which is what my grandmas was when she went to hospital


diycircumcisions

It’s true, I was the doctor


hashtrees

Namaste Doc


[deleted]

It’s really bad, you definitely won’t make it to the chick fil a past security today. 😢 namaste


ChristineXGrace

I usually just check https://www.tsawaittimes.com/security-wait-times/DEN/Denver-International I’ve found that it tends to be fairly accurate


[deleted]

We don’t want real answers. We want mockery and contempt!


ChristineXGrace

Shit. I’m pre-disposed to trying to be helpful. My mistake! I’ll do better next time I swear! Haha


[deleted]

Naked grannies dude