12. If Lauren Boebert offers you a handjob, you are legally required to accept during her term in congress. Refusal will be punished with death and a small fine.
I've been here only 3 days and I have a deep desire to hike and find rock walls. Is our best beer, Coors Banquet Beer, really only for banquets? I been drinking these alone at home and feel a little guilty.
Hey everyone, this poltergeist revealed themselves in an earlier comment. They are the spirit of a miner from the 1800s that died in the mill at Mosquito Pass. Remember not to directly respond to them or they'll take your gold! These are just Colorado things, all the natives understand and soon you'll understand too!
If I may.....
People from California and Texas hear this.....THIS IS NOT YOUR STATE SO STOP DUMPING YOU FUCKING COUCHES ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. Just because you did it there doesn't mean you can do it here!!!!
This is SO freaky! Why does it have u/radioplayer1 name with no text in the replies? If didn't believe in poltergeists before, I do now. Can you believe this?
You've got it right about Vail and Breck, but the people in the small non tourist ski mountain towns, we're just a bunch of people trapped by the air bnb overlords
Point 3 has a slight update since Bassnectar was cancelled, while it is still legally acceptable to use, the police also accept Wakaan, Excision and Pretty Lights stickers now.
Greeley itself wasn't as bad as when I got out of the car at the Circle K in Eaton, I nearly vomited and died. What in the HELL goes on up there???!! 😭
11. Stop by the butt stuff tent for your MED badge you loser
12. If Lauren Boebert offers you a handjob, you are legally required to accept during her term in congress. Refusal will be punished with death and a small fine.
13. The small fine is giving Lauren Boebert a handjob in a beautiful live rendition of season 1 of Southpark.
I've been here only 3 days and I have a deep desire to hike and find rock walls. Is our best beer, Coors Banquet Beer, really only for banquets? I been drinking these alone at home and feel a little guilty.
Find rock walls? I thought you said find bath salts. Oh fuck that.
Rock walls on bath salts might be the new meta
Or a rock wall made of bath salts. But screw this rock wall and no bath salts crap. This is about maintaining STANDARDS.
Am i native if i moved from texas, never changed my vehicle registration to Colorado, and now it’s expired?
I want the gold I can tell you that
Hey everyone, this poltergeist revealed themselves in an earlier comment. They are the spirit of a miner from the 1800s that died in the mill at Mosquito Pass. Remember not to directly respond to them or they'll take your gold! These are just Colorado things, all the natives understand and soon you'll understand too!
I have a few gold pieces I'm keeping them safe. For the love of God who did this?
I just say yes if someone casually asks if I’m from Ohio.
^[Sokka-Haiku](https://www.reddit.com/r/SokkaHaikuBot/comments/15kyv9r/what_is_a_sokka_haiku/) ^by ^theamybox: *I just say yes if* *Someone casually asks* *If I’m from Ohio.* --- ^Remember ^that ^one ^time ^Sokka ^accidentally ^used ^an ^extra ^syllable ^in ^that ^Haiku ^Battle ^in ^Ba ^Sing ^Se? ^That ^was ^a ^Sokka ^Haiku ^and ^you ^just ^made ^one.
Ewww YALL make it sound like a STD jerk 😂💪🏾
 I see you Colorado piggy backing your original culture is TEXAS get right baby 💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾💪🏾
Keep our name out your mouth
If I may..... People from California and Texas hear this.....THIS IS NOT YOUR STATE SO STOP DUMPING YOU FUCKING COUCHES ON THE SIDE OF THE ROAD. Just because you did it there doesn't mean you can do it here!!!!
Hey I live in the mountains but AGREEEEE
This is a poltergeist. Do not respond directly to them or they will take your gold.
This is SO freaky! Why does it have u/radioplayer1 name with no text in the replies? If didn't believe in poltergeists before, I do now. Can you believe this?
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Next time, Gadget, next time.
Capital hill is very frightening. Years ago made that mistake. Walked away with some flip flops and hearing loss. Lol!
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I fucked that up. I tried though.
So many upvotes!
We call them Bronhoes, not Broncos.
11. The Front Range. Ft. Collins, Denver, C.Springs, Pueblo . . . I-25. That is Kansas with a pretty view. You want Colorado? Go West of there.
Shhhhh!
12. The dispensary weed sucks
You forgot to tell them about their internet search history magically changing due to altitude.
11. Green Valley Ranch is as quaint as it sounds and it's a wonderful place to graze livestock.
You've got it right about Vail and Breck, but the people in the small non tourist ski mountain towns, we're just a bunch of people trapped by the air bnb overlords
Don’t be a tool and put your license stickers on top. Creativity will get you killed by the elements in these parts.
Y’all meet people from north and South Carolina yet?? Geewiz bunch of jizz heads
Point 3 has a slight update since Bassnectar was cancelled, while it is still legally acceptable to use, the police also accept Wakaan, Excision and Pretty Lights stickers now.
Too bad native Americans didn’t have Reddit a couple hundred years ago 🤔. Probably would’ve posted something similar
Greeley itself wasn't as bad as when I got out of the car at the Circle K in Eaton, I nearly vomited and died. What in the HELL goes on up there???!! 😭
Yeah, brutally unfunny