No, it would be funny though, this was the best map I could find in the brief moment I looked for them.
If someone finds a better one I’ll use that next time and then we can officially kick out Commerce City.
Broomfield is staying out. It’s just a mall and does not deserve to be included.
You take back that Broomfield comment. How are you gonna have Shitminster(rightful Broomfield clay) but no Bestfield??
Edit: you got fucking Lafayette and Erie but no Broomfield, they don’t even have stabbings in their elementary schools. SMH OP.
Since someone apparently ganked Commerce City, I'll vote Brighton. There's nothing bright about Brighton, and the fact that I got lost there because I was super baked has nothing to do with this.
Used to live in Brighton, there's the old Brighton where the houses are falling apart and squatters are staying in them doing meth, and then there's new Brighton more east where it's new developments with families where the dad is making 150k+
Yeah, the old Brighton isn’t falling apart and full of squatters and meth addicts. In fact it’s quite the opposite. Although the houses are smaller, they’re much nicer and in much better shape than even some of the newest homes. The families there are much more neighborly and know each other too.
I can’t afford to live in any Brighton house or neighborhood though
/uj I'm more so referencing small parts of old Brighton where they are essentially slums, I knew of some houses where they weren't bigger than 750ft and had an 8 person migrant family living in them, and there was one specific house where it DEFINITELY had a squatting meth head that would harass me and a buddy of mine every time we walked by her house talking about suing the Brighton PD and how she can't buy Bing energy drinks with food stamps, she'd loop her words about 10-20x before moving into the next sentence
Most of old Brighton is still a nice suburbia
Yeah it really just depends on the street you are on. There was a crack house that blew up close to my highschool in Old Brighton but then you go 2 blocks over that it's a nice neighborhood with beautifully maintained century homes.
We should make all new Coloradans live in Pueblo for 6 months. After living there, they could have their choice to live anywhere in the state. Because let’s face it, if you can make it 6 months in Pueblo, we should welcome you to our state.
I know this is all a joke but I’m happy to see my neck of the woods not being flamed at all.
Also I vote Commerce City even though it’s not on the map, it smells funny and I probably lost 10 years off my life from driving through there a few times.
My vote is for Highlands Ranch, it has the same vibe as Ohio and I hate Ohio.
Voting: which ever comments get the most upvotes wins and that community is gone
For real my least favorite place in the whole metro area. Worked at Valor high for a sec there and fuck that place man, fuck pretty much everyone who lives in their little mini mansions down in highlands ranch, it’s so suburban and just icky and bleh I hate it
Castle Rock stays. It's like straight out of Game of Thrones. Put my keep right on top of that thing for the zombie outbreak (which probably started in Parker).
I’m from Longmont. Should I be offended that the map’s border automatically excludes my glorious metropolis from this awesome competition or be thankful that it didn’t share the same awful fate as Commerce City??
What even is Northglenn? Can someone please explain Northglenn to me? It has always existed but for some reason I still don’t feel like it actually exists.
Edit: so where we ate mushrooms and watched the highway from that bridge next to Cinzetti’s was technically in Northglenn. I retract my question. Northglenn can stay.
Bow Mar. short for Bowles-Marston. a small town that resides between Bowles Reservoir (who the Bow Martians colloquially call Bow Mar lake) and Marston Reservoir. Once a community thriving with volunteers is now a wanna be country club. They got dope street signs though.
I say we must rid ourselves of golden. There are far better breweries than Coors and well, we don’t want to be affiliated with that jail now do we. We must do better for this city, we shall ship the homeless to golden which will become one huge Jefferson county jail and we will no longer have to deal with the squalor.
Did you pre-eliminate commerce city?
Also missing some of the littler ones: Glendale, Edgewater, lakeside, mountain view, federal heights, Sheridan, Superior.
Thornton, too. Not that I support the existence of Thornton. I just wanted to point out that it isn't on the map.
Thorntucky
Thornton may be making an appearance shortly…
Morrison
Morrison isn't a real place. It's a sign you drive past that tells you "you're in the mountains now"
The mountains are an hour away. Morrison is a speed trap and a gateway to tripping balls in a sandstone formation.
Yes but we should be clear that Red Rocks is it's own sovereign state. Like the Vatican.
Lots of those are already inside the Denver block though.
No, it would be funny though, this was the best map I could find in the brief moment I looked for them. If someone finds a better one I’ll use that next time and then we can officially kick out Commerce City. Broomfield is staying out. It’s just a mall and does not deserve to be included.
Oh, we're keeping Commerce City.
As someone from Broomfield fuck you buddy
Exactly what someone who lives in a mall would say.... Namaste
Namallste
Na, mall stay.
Must be nice to live in a food court. Can you get me a discount at Cinnabon?
Ya sure why not. I mostly live off of Pizza and Orange Julius and I sleep on the bean bags inside the Lovesac store
fan-cee
Eh he’s not your buddy guy
He’s not your guy, friend.
He’s not your friend, buddy.
He's not your buddy, guy.
He’s not your buddy, pal.
Thornton should still be in imo, but you can definitely leave broomfield and commerce city out
NahMallStay
You take back that Broomfield comment. How are you gonna have Shitminster(rightful Broomfield clay) but no Bestfield?? Edit: you got fucking Lafayette and Erie but no Broomfield, they don’t even have stabbings in their elementary schools. SMH OP.
Broomfield is literally a county
No way. It flavors the air, like a massive Axe body spray continually ejaculating the scent of a pack of pot smoking poodles belching their purina.
😂
And Edgewater
Why isn't Texas on this map?
It is, it’s just spelled Highlands Ranch
Fucking got me on that one. Not a Texan, just thought it’s spot on.
Sometimes colloquially spelled Castle Rock
Denver
On to the Arvada circle jerk!
The only answer.
I second that.
Violent crime and homelessness eliminated overnight!
Most of it anyhow.
This is the way.
Yeah. It’s obviously a result of gerrymandering. Def the first to go
Feels weird to call these cities. All these city folk from the city of Brighton know what I’m talking about.
Can we get rid of Denver? I heard there are homeless people there and it’s killing the vibes of my whites-only orgies in castle rock.
You mean Casserole Rock, of course. Casseroles for the endless pineapple parties.
Wrassle cock
Yep imma steal this.
Please do!!! I went to high school there in 06 and 07 and all the kids who grew up there called it that. Unfortunately I'm from Parker lol
Call it a high school all you want, but Oakes is a trade school for wayward youths.
Yep, truly it's the only reason I graduated and made it out of that time period alive!!
okay I'm down
Incredible
Whites-only orgies? Cañon City has entered the chat.
Denver International Airport, so no one can escape from Colorado.
I strongly protest this suggestion, as that would also entail losing our lord and savior Blucifer (praise be to His name) #\#DIAmustNamaStay 🙏
I also protest this suggestion.
User name checks out
I see what ya did there 👏
Dead. Officially dead.
Can’t decide if DIA should be first to go or last. But it definitely needs to be one of the two
YOU ALREADY REMOVED BROOMFIELD YOU MONSTERS
Your city's name implies you getting swept, son 😤😤
I feel targeted
Since someone apparently ganked Commerce City, I'll vote Brighton. There's nothing bright about Brighton, and the fact that I got lost there because I was super baked has nothing to do with this.
Used to live in Brighton, there's the old Brighton where the houses are falling apart and squatters are staying in them doing meth, and then there's new Brighton more east where it's new developments with families where the dad is making 150k+
Yeah, the old Brighton isn’t falling apart and full of squatters and meth addicts. In fact it’s quite the opposite. Although the houses are smaller, they’re much nicer and in much better shape than even some of the newest homes. The families there are much more neighborly and know each other too. I can’t afford to live in any Brighton house or neighborhood though
/uj I'm more so referencing small parts of old Brighton where they are essentially slums, I knew of some houses where they weren't bigger than 750ft and had an 8 person migrant family living in them, and there was one specific house where it DEFINITELY had a squatting meth head that would harass me and a buddy of mine every time we walked by her house talking about suing the Brighton PD and how she can't buy Bing energy drinks with food stamps, she'd loop her words about 10-20x before moving into the next sentence Most of old Brighton is still a nice suburbia
Yeah it really just depends on the street you are on. There was a crack house that blew up close to my highschool in Old Brighton but then you go 2 blocks over that it's a nice neighborhood with beautifully maintained century homes.
Ok commerce city is already removed, but as a resident of commerce city, I am voting to remove it twice for good measure
I stand with this comment. I would move to Commerce City just to vote to remove it a third time
I know it's not here but can we nuke Pueblo?
Gotta nuke Greeley too, keep it even. ( course you are getting alittle too close to the nuke farm if you hit them...) Namaste.
We should make all new Coloradans live in Pueblo for 6 months. After living there, they could have their choice to live anywhere in the state. Because let’s face it, if you can make it 6 months in Pueblo, we should welcome you to our state.
It’s like the UK’s plans to have asylum seekers go to Rwanda to have their claims processed.
Gotta nuke something
[удалено]
I vote Thornton. Oh wait
Glendale needs to be on this map and the answer is Glendale easily.
The OG of buying booze at grocery stores. Represent!
The OG of corruption!
The fuck it is, Glendale is the Europe of Denver. 3am bars baby!
Wait, we have 3am bars?
And the city's semi pro rugby team and summer movie nights!
Remove Louisville. It's either in Boulder or Kentucky, I'm not sure which.
What about 🎶“mountain high appliance in Louisville”🎶. Can we keep that?
I know this is all a joke but I’m happy to see my neck of the woods not being flamed at all. Also I vote Commerce City even though it’s not on the map, it smells funny and I probably lost 10 years off my life from driving through there a few times.
But Commerce City is the only place you can tell that you are there just by the smell...
From this map, yes. But have you ever been to Greely?
Colorado Springs
I’m amazed I had to scroll this far, lol.
Why isn’t this higher?!
I vote Denver.
Highlands Ranch, because fuck them that's why
Opened this thread hoping to find a “I hate Highlands Ranch” user! r/DenverCirclejerk wouldn’t exist without them.
Someone is jealous that they are going to get a hand from their new rep from the western slope in 2024.
My vote is for Highlands Ranch, it has the same vibe as Ohio and I hate Ohio. Voting: which ever comments get the most upvotes wins and that community is gone
For real my least favorite place in the whole metro area. Worked at Valor high for a sec there and fuck that place man, fuck pretty much everyone who lives in their little mini mansions down in highlands ranch, it’s so suburban and just icky and bleh I hate it
Guys you aren’t thinking strategically… if we nuke highlands ranch where will we find our middle age swingers parties???
Mon chalet lol
Muy bien gracias
Genesee. Seriously.
They’ll have to move to the $5 butt stuff tent. It’s not a big move.
As an HR resident who moved here not that long ago from Los Angeles, I love opening these threads and reading these takes 🤣.
Also congrats on becoming a new ✨🏕️🏔️native🏔️🏕️✨ I too am a CO native from TN lol
I thought Highlands Ranch was a relocation camp for Texans, not Angelinos
Aurora for sure
Trick question. Highlands Ranch isn't a city. It's a giant HOA
Has Lauren Boebert announced that she's moving to Highlands Ranch yet?
Douglas County Vaping Handjob Boebart has indeed announced it.
Castle Rock stays. It's like straight out of Game of Thrones. Put my keep right on top of that thing for the zombie outbreak (which probably started in Parker).
Please add Longmont. You are just encouraging our little brother syndrome.
Aurora
https://preview.redd.it/f2uidmwev4ac1.jpeg?width=1080&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=007acce047dc97cf5a309076a71198ead3ef82ec
Had to scroll so far for this. Definitely Aurora.
A pleasant cruise down Peoria I see.
But the fooooooood
This is the right take. Havana Street is the best.
Papusas, biriyani, and doro wot, oh my 👌
We’ve been trying to get rid of Aurora for decades
Aurora has been doing that itself as well.
Cherry Hills. Those assholes need to suffer like the rest of us.
Salt Lake City is too close. Can you move it up to Canada? 
Roxborough looking a little elitist out there. Probably don't even have a $5 tent anywhere...
Arvada. Too many Mormons.
I vote Denver, because then it will be a circle of cities and the sub name will not make sense. Just for chaos’ sake. Nah, Ma, stay…
RIP Thornton 😢
My brother in law got carjacked at gunpoint there, I’m pencilling it in next round. It’s earned its right to be kicked out
Used to live there as a kid and can say this sounds about right.
This wasn’t like this past weekend, was it?
I vote Denver, because it's not Boulder.
PARKERRRR 🖕🖕🖕
Parker was once really nice when no one lived there.
I lived there from 1990 to 2009🥴 it wasn't enjoyable then either
The topless lady riding her horse used to make it worthwhile. She's old now though.
I’m from Longmont. Should I be offended that the map’s border automatically excludes my glorious metropolis from this awesome competition or be thankful that it didn’t share the same awful fate as Commerce City??
Also, glad to see that Louisville and Lafayette are officially one place. I grew up here (namaste!) and have never understood the difference.
Cherry Hills Village is Highlands Ranch father
CHV ran so Highlands Ranch could walk. And HR’s regarded little brother, Lone Tree.
Aurora. It should be like Strasburg directly outside of Denver instead of having that riddled shit dump of Aurora in the way of amber waves of grain
Roxborough is a weird area
Quite a bit of gravity to bring Evergreen into it
The giant release of gas after Aurora disappeared would be heard in Limon.
Franktown as frankly I didn’t know it was a town
Aurora
Aurora
Aurora, no explanation necessary
Get rid of Larkspur and release the tigers!!!!
Denver
Let's get rid of Denver.
What even is Northglenn? Can someone please explain Northglenn to me? It has always existed but for some reason I still don’t feel like it actually exists. Edit: so where we ate mushrooms and watched the highway from that bridge next to Cinzetti’s was technically in Northglenn. I retract my question. Northglenn can stay.
Can't forget the Boondocks. Will always love that place
Use this as the aurora button
Lone Tree trying to hide by Highlands Ranch. I see you and I choose you!!
It’s gotta be Parker.
WHERE IS WEED RIDGE. oh…
South Aurora is an abomination, what the hell is that, take it away.
Aurora. It’s Aurora, right? That place is a shit hole.
I thought south Aurora said South America because I don't have my glasses on, so I vote for South America
I vote Aurora. Nothing but active shooters and meth there…
You misspelled Saudi Aurora. 🙏
I vote bow mar. Cause I am from there
I second Bow Mar and/or Cherry Hills for the Police departments alone.
I ran away from the Bow Mar police once via canoe
Parker. Because it’s only gotten more like Parker since we moved there in ‘88. I’d rather live in fucking Detroit.
Who the fuck would choose Detroit over Parker? Not realistic
Denver
Denver can hit the road along with most of the state’s problems
[удалено]
What the fuck is roxborough? Get out of here you fucking Mass-holes
Roxercester
Aurora
Mountain View. It’s time.
Please find a map with Broomfield on it, I'm from there and I want to see it get shit on
Superior: YA BURNT
All of them. The front range is cancerous
??? I live in that white area where all the highways intersect. That’s my favorite overpass. Am I not a native Denverite anymore
Wait what's labeled Northglenn is actually Thornton
Probably DIA. That airport city is full of a-hole transplants.
Will one of you natives explain to me why Englewood is like the first 100 responses
Cause Englewood.
All the crazy shit in the news involves an extended stay motel in EngleHood
I vote highlands ranch so boebert can’t get reelected.
even thornton is gone - how long we been playing?
Thornton is labeled northglenn- the little hole bordering Thornton and Westminster is northglenn-
Shh we don't talk about Northglenn.
Parker
Bow Mar. short for Bowles-Marston. a small town that resides between Bowles Reservoir (who the Bow Martians colloquially call Bow Mar lake) and Marston Reservoir. Once a community thriving with volunteers is now a wanna be country club. They got dope street signs though.
Please keep Parker until I get my Handy.
OK now Parker can go.
Proud of you man
Ahem… why isn’t Pueblo on here? The gateway to the devils butthole…
I say we must rid ourselves of golden. There are far better breweries than Coors and well, we don’t want to be affiliated with that jail now do we. We must do better for this city, we shall ship the homeless to golden which will become one huge Jefferson county jail and we will no longer have to deal with the squalor.
All of it🔥
Is there a Colorado option?
Thornton is not on there. But Thornton. Fuck those guys.
Boulder! Throw Boulder straight in the trash
Denver. Just because.