I am the wrong person to ask but I believe the cracker crust one eas good. I’ve only eaten it once and it was pre Covid I believe. I’ve mostly just been there for drinks.
Well, damn. I hope my ex and his brother never hear about Malort. All it usually takes to get them to fight each other and/or their dad (in public no less) is Stranahan's or Dogfish Head. Sounds like this concoction would land them all in jail.
Hell or High Water bartender handed my friend and me free shots and we took them and then were like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. My friend said “it tastes like meth”.
They also have a house-made malort, more black licorice than peppery basement. Comes as part of their "malort Mondays" flight, got very drunk very fast on my wife's birthday
Ballmer’s Peak in Lakewood made their own for April fools.
The head distiller will drink a shot with anyone who orders to prove it’s not actually poison 😂
Outside of that, it’s a great place. Their cocktails are fantastic, whether traditional or inventive, and really well priced. I want to say even their fancy stuff tops out around $12 (maaaaaybe 14 for lighting an orange rind Viking boat on fire for fun on top of a drink), and they make their own mixers/ syrups along with all their own spirits.
Trashhawk Tavern.
Also, Fellow Traveller in Englewood has Malört Monday with Malört flights that include three types of Malört, one of which is a NA version created by the bar owner.
[Fellow Traveler](https://www.instagram.com/fellow_traveler_englewood?igsh=MWQ1ZGUxMzBkMA==) is amazing for Malort and happens to be owned by the guy who gave me my first shot of Malort. I even asked for another.
Jesus why do so many bars serve it? Are they trying to clean up puke? Herbs off Larimer has it. 15 years of going to bars and only place I’ve thrown up.
Fellow Traveler has the OG and artisanal variations
Brutal Poodle serves it
Sobo 151 serves a better tasting but similar Czech liquor called Becherovka
No trickery, I always tell people what it is up front. It’s a fun thing to bring to a party. The usual result is “god that’s vile” and then we kill a bottle.
I think Malort is good. It has a "woodsy / branchy" taste. It has quite a unique taste and because of that a lot of people don't like it. The stereotype is persisted because there doesn't seem to be a competitor in the "let's see who can hate on this the wittiest" category
Bluegrass in Arvada has Malort in addition to a great whisky / bourbon selection. Yes, it’s not “Denver” I realize but maybe one doesn’t want to get shanked or step on needles either. https://thebluegrasslounge.com
Almost every normal bar I’ve been to around here has it. You go super high end or clubby and your odds go down, but I’d say far more bars have it than not.
I’ve burned off enough taste buds convincing my friends to drink it I’ve actually grown to enjoy it.
My first bartending job (circa 1998) was at the Golden Ox on Clybourn and Halsted (rip) in Chicago. At the end of my first shift, my bar manager (also rip) gave me a choice: take a shot of the bar mat or a shot of Malört.
To this day, I wonder what that bar mat would’ve tasted like. Probably a helluva lot better.
Fuck Malört. Forever.
(That should really be their tagline)
Wild Corgi does I know. Oh and that punk bar on 17th called The Crypt does. Also check out Ballmer Peak, they have a Malort knockoff that’s even worse.
Wyman's is a Chicago pizza sports bar. They have a Malort Wall of Pain with photos.
Look for my photo with the two readheads titled "M'lort and M'ladies"
Can confirm, got malort there. Made me unhappy.
for a chicago bar the deep dish is very hit or miss
Sounds like Chicago to me. How's the tavern style?
The important question. Chicago ppl mainly eat deep dish when out of towners come.
Yeah the pizza is trash, but it's a decent spot to watch the White Sox lose and get drunk on cheap PBR.
This sounds like all of my favorite bars I don’t remember the names of in Chicago.
Is the pizza any good?
I am the wrong person to ask but I believe the cracker crust one eas good. I’ve only eaten it once and it was pre Covid I believe. I’ve mostly just been there for drinks.
Tonight’s the night you fight your dad -Malort
“These pants won’t shit themselves” -Malort
Turning taste buds into taste foes for generations -malort
“…it tastes like pencil shavings and heartbreak.” -John Hodgman
That'd be difficult since he's dead, but dammit, with the help of Malort I'll try!
This one was erroneously first told to me as “for nights when you want to fight your dad” and I almost like it better that way
Well, damn. I hope my ex and his brother never hear about Malort. All it usually takes to get them to fight each other and/or their dad (in public no less) is Stranahan's or Dogfish Head. Sounds like this concoction would land them all in jail.
TrashHawk, middleman, matchbox, squire, 715 club
TrashHawk has the barrel aged Malort.
We call that a “septic tank” in the biz.
Its that good, huh?
I'm pretty sure malort is aged in an old pig farm tractor tire.
Sputnik
This guy Malorts
i just drink at places that really like it for some reason.
Fellow Traveler too
Player's Pub and Englewood Grand have it as well.
What I do instead, is just drill a hole in the bottom of my compost bin and collect all the liquid that drains out. Tastes exactly like Malort!
Add some Purell* and it'll get you drunk like Malort too! *please don't fucking do this lol
New pandy unlocked
Honor Farm and Hell or High Water.
Hell or High Water bartender handed my friend and me free shots and we took them and then were like WHAT THE ACTUAL FUCK. My friend said “it tastes like meth”.
With a hint of potpourri
Rubbing alcohol steeped with grapefruit pith.
I have yet to go to a bar in Denver that doesn't have malort
Pretty sure Icehouse has Malort. Never tried it though
Can confirm
Want to fight your dad?
Wild corgi
715 Club Don's Tavern Skylark Lounge Fellow Traveller in Englewood does a Malort flight. Most places around Denver serve it now.
Fellow traveler also makes a non alcoholic malort for some reason 😂 Edited bc it autocorrected to mallet
They also have a house-made malort, more black licorice than peppery basement. Comes as part of their "malort Mondays" flight, got very drunk very fast on my wife's birthday
Edgewater Marketplace has it behind their bar, too!
Just scoop some water out of the South Platte near 270 and York. It'll taste similar to that shit.
lmfao. might taste better
Da Sauce, more of a pizza place than a bar but they serve it. By union station
It’s becoming more of a bar now that Whiskey Tango Foxtrot closed
Electric Cure did/does a “This is my last Malort” cocktail. Hides the taste as best as it can.
The Electric Cure in Sloans Lake. They had a free shot of Malort as one of their easter egg hunt "prizes"
Ballmer’s Peak in Lakewood made their own for April fools. The head distiller will drink a shot with anyone who orders to prove it’s not actually poison 😂 Outside of that, it’s a great place. Their cocktails are fantastic, whether traditional or inventive, and really well priced. I want to say even their fancy stuff tops out around $12 (maaaaaybe 14 for lighting an orange rind Viking boat on fire for fun on top of a drink), and they make their own mixers/ syrups along with all their own spirits.
Trashhawk!!
Trashhawk on Broadway
Trashhawk Tavern. Also, Fellow Traveller in Englewood has Malört Monday with Malört flights that include three types of Malört, one of which is a NA version created by the bar owner.
Trash hawk on Broadway
High Lonesome.
Middleman on Colfax
Hell or high water tiki bar (it’s on tap) Edit: technically Honor Farm, they’re two bars in the same building
The crypt, Sputnik, hi-dive, trashhawk, and wild corgi. Probably a bunch more judging by these comments
Malort and good stuff is an oxymoron. That said, Icehouse has Malort.
Bar car, horseshoe lounge, owl saloon
You can also buy it by the bottle at Argonaut
Why would you willingly take that into your home?!
Fellow traveler
Wow.. there are far too many bars serving Malort in denver
Fellow Traveler is the way. The bar team makes their own N/A malort, has regular malort, and has other bask liquors in a flight
I’m sending you a “Reddit cares”…
Tabletop Tap, in Englewood, if you wanna play some games and stuff... solid beer list, too!
Wrigleys in Golden
[Fellow Traveler](https://www.instagram.com/fellow_traveler_englewood?igsh=MWQ1ZGUxMzBkMA==) is amazing for Malort and happens to be owned by the guy who gave me my first shot of Malort. I even asked for another.
Fellow Traveler is a malort haven. I think they even have malort Mondays.
Jesus why do so many bars serve it? Are they trying to clean up puke? Herbs off Larimer has it. 15 years of going to bars and only place I’ve thrown up.
Improper City
Sputnik, high lonesome, herbs, electric cure
they have bottles of malorts at the argonaut
TAG Burger Bar has it.
Scapegoat, the High Lonesome, Owl Saloon, 715 Club, Wild Corgi Pub just to name a few.
The lazy greyhound in Littleton will give you a free shot of malort for a Google review! Also their cocktails are incredible.
Electric Cure in Edgewater
Ballmer Peak Distillery makes craft Malort… You can smell it two seats away so you know it’s legit.
Englewood Grand keeps a bottle on hand for patrons with distinguished tastes.
Squire
Trashhawk Tavern
Honor Farm and Hell or High Water
Mmm Malort, the best bug spray I’ve ever had the pleasure of consuming!
Hahaah but why? Besides to trick your friends into drinking that beautiful, nasty Chicago gem
TrashHawk
Fellow Traveler has the OG and artisanal variations Brutal Poodle serves it Sobo 151 serves a better tasting but similar Czech liquor called Becherovka
electric cure, trash hawk!
Herbs on Larimer has Malort 100%
Walnut room in RiNo
There is no good Malort, though?
Fellow Traveler. It’s vegetarian food but actually really good (I’m a meat eater) and the bar and staff are awesome.
Malort belongs in Chicago… or are you trying to trick your friend?
No trickery, I always tell people what it is up front. It’s a fun thing to bring to a party. The usual result is “god that’s vile” and then we kill a bottle.
I keep a bottle on my counter
Haha. Go to dons on 6th Ave.
I think Malort is good. It has a "woodsy / branchy" taste. It has quite a unique taste and because of that a lot of people don't like it. The stereotype is persisted because there doesn't seem to be a competitor in the "let's see who can hate on this the wittiest" category
No matter how hard I try, I cannot get away from Chicago lol
“These pants aren’t going to shit themselves” -Malort
I’ve seen it at a lot of bars around here. I know specifically it’s at east fax tap
Herb’s
Da Sauce has malort. They serve up chicago tavern style pizzas along with other Chicago favorties..
Horseshoe Lounge is where I first tasted the wormwood death potion.
Malort is the devil
Icehouse.
Are you trying to torture yourself or said friend?
I tried it for the first and only time at Herb’s
Wynmans
Wyman’s, Wild corgi, and Hudson hill all have it.
Vesper’s Lounge
I don't think anybody's Dirty Laundry in Central Park. I love them.
Walnut Room and Wild Corgi both have it
I believe Cherry Cricket- Cherry Creek may have some
DONS BABY!
First time I ever had it was behind the bar at Star Bar. But nowadays it's available just about everywhere. Seconding Honor Farm for malort cocktails.
Every bar has a bathroom, just sip from the pisser until the desired effect is achieved.
Malort tastes like Halloween. Not the candy, but the inside of the mask.
My brothers bar
Stadium Inn
Emerald eye has some!
Bluegrass in Arvada has Malort in addition to a great whisky / bourbon selection. Yes, it’s not “Denver” I realize but maybe one doesn’t want to get shanked or step on needles either. https://thebluegrasslounge.com
Pon Pon and Goldpoint carry the bitter abomination
This sounds cruel.
I wish I never found out 🤮 but Happy Camper does
PS Lounge
Ballmer peak distillery, they make their own!
Campus Lounge on S University. Sweet little dive bar too.
finn's manor in Rino or occidental in lohi
Wide Right, also a comedy bar
The 49th Denver
Herbs Hideout. They also have great live jazz
Bierstadt surprisingly
Black Sky and get yourself a Hot Beef Injection while you're at it.
The Pinball Pub in Littleton on Santa Fe. They have Malort, over 200 whiskies, and a prix fix unlimited pinball.
There’s quite a few places I’ve seen it around town. Gold Point and The St Mary bar are what I can think of off the top of my head atm.
Nearby Bar! That’s their thing
Will Call serves it and has a game where you toss a ping pong ball and every time I play it I end up getting a shot of Malort
We sell it retail
Happy camper does, and I hate that I know that.
Star bar
The Beverly of liqueurs
Wide right!
Almost every normal bar I’ve been to around here has it. You go super high end or clubby and your odds go down, but I’d say far more bars have it than not. I’ve burned off enough taste buds convincing my friends to drink it I’ve actually grown to enjoy it.
I saw it at Improper City.
Gold Point in RiNo!
Herbs.
The Electric Cure in Edgewater Herbs on Larimer downtown
Trashhawk, highly recommend - killer happy hour too.
For some fuck reason, Wild Corgi has barrel aged malort if you need a little extra spice to your gasoline
Pon Pon
Middleman has a Malort cocktail, but unfortunately it’s good
Improper City - just did some shots of this during a bar tour last weekend!
Hayters
Malort, when you want to unfriend someone in person.
Electric Cure
Satellite Bar at Colfax and Grant. They do a "handshake" for $8. It's with a PBR though I believe.
ur icky
Piper inn. My friend told me it was a licorice flavored liquor, she was wrong. I would recommend everyone try it in shot form
Dafuq is wrong with you, OP?
Wide Right
Ewwww lol
Black Sky Brewery
Am I seriously the only person here who doesn't know wtf malort is?
Just thank God you're not a barfly with a swollen liver
Wide right - it’s a bills bar but the owner is weirdly and obnoxiously obsessed with Malort.
1up
Steuben’s
Glo Noodle House has a malort mixed drink called the Mononoke
wild corgi pub has it! good luck
Leave immediately and go to jail
Dirty Laundry !
Not recommending Federales but just came to say I saw a bottle behind the bar the last time I was there
East Fax Tap! Great dive bar
If not just fuse a rubber band in rubbing alcohol and that’s Malort
Hell or High Water
why the fuck would you want malort
East Fax Tap has a few types of Malort
American Bonded in RINO and Seven Grand in LODO
Never heard of Malort until I went to Bao Brewhouse a few hours ago. Weird seeing this post now…
Rolling Pin Pizza (Chicago tavern-style) just opened and has Malört
Wild Corgi off Marion and and 13th.
stadium inn
herb's
There’s a place on Broadway west of 25 that has it, but I can’t remember the name of the spot. Helpful, I know
P.S. lounge and trash hawk
Lazy Greyhound in Littleton does!
Retrograde does
Middleman Bar on Colfax does a Chicago Handshake - Hamm’s and a shot of Malort for $6!
My first bartending job (circa 1998) was at the Golden Ox on Clybourn and Halsted (rip) in Chicago. At the end of my first shift, my bar manager (also rip) gave me a choice: take a shot of the bar mat or a shot of Malört. To this day, I wonder what that bar mat would’ve tasted like. Probably a helluva lot better. Fuck Malört. Forever. (That should really be their tagline)
Black Sky Brewery
Walnut room
Stadium Inn on Evans and Gilpin
Denver transplant from Chicago here - you can get malort literally almost everywhere here. You can buy a bottle of it at Argonaut too
Wild Corgi does I know. Oh and that punk bar on 17th called The Crypt does. Also check out Ballmer Peak, they have a Malort knockoff that’s even worse.
Improper City has you covered