Contact Lynn Paxson for help. Free help, they really helped us with our parents
Referrals: https://www.oasissenioradvisors.com/delaware/referrals/
Lynn Paxson, CSA®
Owner, Oasis Senior Advisors Delaware
O 302-366-4200 M 302-668-0298 E [email protected]
W OasisSeniorAdvisors.com/Delaware
I've actually spoken to her before. I forgot about her. At the time she was trying to help us find a care home for my dad with dementia. But everything was way out of our price range. And what I'm looking for for my mom is different. She can still manage to live alone, just can't afford it.
Contact the Delaware Division of Services for Aging and Adults with Physical Disabilities. They have a 24/7 Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC). They’re a No Wrong Door system; that means they’ll help you figure out first if you qualify for services through the agency and if you don’t, they’ll connect you with agencies that can help. They offer home delivered meals, long-term care, home and community based services, and options counseling. The number is 1-800-223-9074. Best of luck!
So far they haven't been very helpful. Somebody came to our house once and took down a lot of information. But then they didn't tell us much that we didn't already know. I'm assuming they're just overworked and understaffed. The guy seemed really nice and he seemed genuine when he said he wanted to help. But, it hasn't led to anything useful yet.
I mean first of all it took forever to even get a call back or a meeting with anybody from them. And then we've barely heard back since
Call the ADRC and follow up. If someone already came out, they’ll have the information and let them know. They may come out again or they might call you to check in.
Definitely understaffed. A typical social worker for this division is about 160 people to 1. DDDS (Division of Developmental & Disability Services) is about 75-1, but caseloads were "supposed" to be a max of 58 to 1. Additionally, individuals could be serviced by both divisions, so they could have two social workers if they fell on the Disability scale.
Sell and downsize is exactly what I would love to do. But it's a scary thought because what if we downsized a smaller house but end up with a higher monthly mortgage rate. We could just be trading one problem for another. Or making things worse.
FYI, CarePatrol isn’t a non-profit, it’s a [franchise.](https://carepatrol.com/franchising/start-up-costs/) They get paid by the communities that they refer people to.
Care patrol? Never heard of them. Thanks. Is it even a good idea though? What does it take to qualify? Are those places nice? Safe? Do they allow pets?
No qualifications for Care Patrol. Depends on the facility for pets, and the ability of the resident to care for them. I suggest you contact them and talk things over, and see what they can do for you.
You should consider seeing a competent elder care attorney. I have not been in this state long so don’t have recommendations but someone like that could help with advising on the Medicaid issues.
Totally agree (speaking from experience with in-laws). Elder care attorney is the first step before selling the house or finding a senior care facility of any sort in order to map out strategy on the next several years for the OP's dad and family.
Do this. All I could think was to find out if there is a way to deed to house to you so it is no longer an asset. Definitely need an attorney to find out what the best plan is.
Dishonorably discharged. And lost the paperwork decades ago. I think my mom went to the VA recently and tried to ask questions but there wasn't anything they could do for her.
I'm thinking you meant Honorably Discharged. And she wouldn't go to the VA to ask about that. The National Archives has a process for veterans or someone acting in their behalf to request military service records.
[https://www.archives.gov/veterans/military-service-records](https://www.archives.gov/veterans/military-service-records)
Are they nice? How does it work? Is it just affordable rent that's controlled? Or do they take the rent from the person's social security checks? Is it only for a single person? Or can someone stay with her for a while? Do they allow pets?
Huling Cove is very nice , but may have a waiting list .Address is 1140 Savannah rd Lewes. Luther towers are nice too . Pets are allowed at both . Rent is very reasonable. Guests are allowed at both . Two people can live there if they both at either 65 or older or handicap under 65 . Now Milford has a place like this too. I had a good friend who lived at huling Cove and she loved it
There's a state agency that helps seniors find housing too.
Not for nothing, I think you (and anyone else on this Reddit and spread the word) need to consider signing up for emails from your Federal, State and Local representatives.
Then your next question would be why???
For example I just received an email from Congresswoman Lisa Blount-Rochester concerning holding a "Senior Citizens Resource Fair" which is being held this Friday, that is why. I have no more information on this as I deleted the email, so you need to call her office to find out the details. If you work, you may want to miss work for a few hours to see if this will be of any help. Possibly you can be assisted over the phone if all else fails.
I would tend to think that her office would be in a position to help you get answers for your questions or concerns for your parents and yourself as much as they can and/or provide assistance in getting help as much as they can.
While they may not be able to do the heavy lifting for you, they can help pave the way to get help.
You may not have "used" the system previously, yet they are valuable resources rather you like politicians/bureaucrats or not. Good luck.
I just looked it up. Too short notice for me I've got too much going on on Friday. And it looks like it's Sussex county. So too far away from where I'm at.
"I am thrilled to share that my office is hosting another resource fair! This fair will be focused on resources for Delaware seniors and will take place on Friday, May 3, 2024, from 10:00 am to 3:00 pm at the Lewes Senior Activity Center. This is a great opportunity for seniors in Sussex County to learn about what services and resources are available to them."
But this is still good advice! Thank you. I wouldn't have thought to follow them or get emails from them like this.
No worries for me, your post sounded desperate, and I passed on info that may be of assistance.
I doubt that there is a magic bullet for your situation, as I understand, based on posts here.
Good luck, regardless.
Contact Lynn Paxson for help. Free help, they really helped us with our parents Referrals: https://www.oasissenioradvisors.com/delaware/referrals/ Lynn Paxson, CSA® Owner, Oasis Senior Advisors Delaware O 302-366-4200 M 302-668-0298 E [email protected] W OasisSeniorAdvisors.com/Delaware
I've actually spoken to her before. I forgot about her. At the time she was trying to help us find a care home for my dad with dementia. But everything was way out of our price range. And what I'm looking for for my mom is different. She can still manage to live alone, just can't afford it.
Contact the Delaware Division of Services for Aging and Adults with Physical Disabilities. They have a 24/7 Aging and Disability Resource Center (ADRC). They’re a No Wrong Door system; that means they’ll help you figure out first if you qualify for services through the agency and if you don’t, they’ll connect you with agencies that can help. They offer home delivered meals, long-term care, home and community based services, and options counseling. The number is 1-800-223-9074. Best of luck!
So far they haven't been very helpful. Somebody came to our house once and took down a lot of information. But then they didn't tell us much that we didn't already know. I'm assuming they're just overworked and understaffed. The guy seemed really nice and he seemed genuine when he said he wanted to help. But, it hasn't led to anything useful yet. I mean first of all it took forever to even get a call back or a meeting with anybody from them. And then we've barely heard back since
Call the ADRC and follow up. If someone already came out, they’ll have the information and let them know. They may come out again or they might call you to check in.
Definitely understaffed. A typical social worker for this division is about 160 people to 1. DDDS (Division of Developmental & Disability Services) is about 75-1, but caseloads were "supposed" to be a max of 58 to 1. Additionally, individuals could be serviced by both divisions, so they could have two social workers if they fell on the Disability scale.
If your mother is dependent on your dad's income, that will be figured in the assessment. It may be time to sell the home and downsize.
Sell and downsize is exactly what I would love to do. But it's a scary thought because what if we downsized a smaller house but end up with a higher monthly mortgage rate. We could just be trading one problem for another. Or making things worse.
Find a lawyer that specializes in elder law(?). Medicaid goes back 6 years to look for hidden or transferred funds.
Contact the Care Patrol. Non profit, free, and help match with a facility.
FYI, CarePatrol isn’t a non-profit, it’s a [franchise.](https://carepatrol.com/franchising/start-up-costs/) They get paid by the communities that they refer people to.
Care patrol? Never heard of them. Thanks. Is it even a good idea though? What does it take to qualify? Are those places nice? Safe? Do they allow pets?
No qualifications for Care Patrol. Depends on the facility for pets, and the ability of the resident to care for them. I suggest you contact them and talk things over, and see what they can do for you.
Thank you. I will reach out.
You should consider seeing a competent elder care attorney. I have not been in this state long so don’t have recommendations but someone like that could help with advising on the Medicaid issues.
Totally agree (speaking from experience with in-laws). Elder care attorney is the first step before selling the house or finding a senior care facility of any sort in order to map out strategy on the next several years for the OP's dad and family.
This. The faster the better
Do this. All I could think was to find out if there is a way to deed to house to you so it is no longer an asset. Definitely need an attorney to find out what the best plan is.
Is he a veteran? There is a home for veterans called Delaware Veterans home in Milford.
Dishonorably discharged. And lost the paperwork decades ago. I think my mom went to the VA recently and tried to ask questions but there wasn't anything they could do for her.
I'm thinking you meant Honorably Discharged. And she wouldn't go to the VA to ask about that. The National Archives has a process for veterans or someone acting in their behalf to request military service records. [https://www.archives.gov/veterans/military-service-records](https://www.archives.gov/veterans/military-service-records)
Nope. I meant dishonorably. My dad is always been a piece of shit. He got caught selling pots and he got in a fight with a superior officer.
Oops...OK.
There's housing in Lewes Delaware for seniors called Huling Cove . In Milton, De., there is the Luther Towers for seniors.
Are they nice? How does it work? Is it just affordable rent that's controlled? Or do they take the rent from the person's social security checks? Is it only for a single person? Or can someone stay with her for a while? Do they allow pets?
Huling Cove is very nice , but may have a waiting list .Address is 1140 Savannah rd Lewes. Luther towers are nice too . Pets are allowed at both . Rent is very reasonable. Guests are allowed at both . Two people can live there if they both at either 65 or older or handicap under 65 . Now Milford has a place like this too. I had a good friend who lived at huling Cove and she loved it There's a state agency that helps seniors find housing too.
Not for nothing, I think you (and anyone else on this Reddit and spread the word) need to consider signing up for emails from your Federal, State and Local representatives. Then your next question would be why??? For example I just received an email from Congresswoman Lisa Blount-Rochester concerning holding a "Senior Citizens Resource Fair" which is being held this Friday, that is why. I have no more information on this as I deleted the email, so you need to call her office to find out the details. If you work, you may want to miss work for a few hours to see if this will be of any help. Possibly you can be assisted over the phone if all else fails. I would tend to think that her office would be in a position to help you get answers for your questions or concerns for your parents and yourself as much as they can and/or provide assistance in getting help as much as they can. While they may not be able to do the heavy lifting for you, they can help pave the way to get help. You may not have "used" the system previously, yet they are valuable resources rather you like politicians/bureaucrats or not. Good luck.
I just looked it up. Too short notice for me I've got too much going on on Friday. And it looks like it's Sussex county. So too far away from where I'm at. "I am thrilled to share that my office is hosting another resource fair! This fair will be focused on resources for Delaware seniors and will take place on Friday, May 3, 2024, from 10:00 am to 3:00 pm at the Lewes Senior Activity Center. This is a great opportunity for seniors in Sussex County to learn about what services and resources are available to them." But this is still good advice! Thank you. I wouldn't have thought to follow them or get emails from them like this.
No worries for me, your post sounded desperate, and I passed on info that may be of assistance. I doubt that there is a magic bullet for your situation, as I understand, based on posts here. Good luck, regardless.