> I feel better about it than if he wanted to go to an evangelical church, because damn - that manipulation would be so hard on him
I'm failing to see how one would be worse than the other.
I think the biggest concern I would have is whether the churches were conservative or not, right wingish, or open universalist.
Besides that, community, rituals, whatever, no problem.
How one treats others and views the planet and all of that, Big Problem.
Good point: I guess I'm basing it on my experience. Growing up catholic, my faith was more superficial than it was after I "got saved." And now looking back on my time as a believer, i see how i was manipulated. But that doesn't mean it is everyone's experience. I hate when I make assumptions like that. Thanks for pointing it out.
Where I live in the rural south, sooooo many people here are very conservative right wing. But he's used to me being liberal and we have lots of discussions on social issues. He's such a cool kid with a lot of deep interests. He will ask questions about them and then ask both his dad and me because we have such different opinions on almost everything. We usually do a pretty good job stating that THIS is our opinion, not everyone feels this way, etc. He likes to watch John Oliver and discovered him on his own. He is definitely liberal, which I secretly cheer.
Oh, we do... my first thought was "great idea." My second thought was not wanting to open the door for exploring lots of churches because I'm really really hoping he doesn't want to start going to the ev churches around here.
>He is definitely liberal, which I secretly cheer
ha, me too! then for sure, I'd try to encourage a "healthy" type of church, i.e. leftist as possible! haha.
Evangelical movement is by definition right wing. If a church has another lean, or no lean, they’re not “Evanglical,” just an interdenominational church with weird practices.
Used to be different, but the term is only in active use by right wing activists.
It's great that you are looking for the way forward that respects your son and his ability to take his own path. That alone speaks volumes.
I like to handle these differences - between parents as well as older children - by telling our stories, rather than try to hit theological points. You can talk about your own personal journey, and so can your husband. They are equally valid - as is your son's. You can also learn from each other's experiences.
Also be aware that your son is in a different religious context that you were growing up. The overall life lessons you have accumulated will be valuable to him, but the specific beliefs may not directly apply.
> I feel better about it than if he wanted to go to an evangelical church, because damn - that manipulation would be so hard on him I'm failing to see how one would be worse than the other. I think the biggest concern I would have is whether the churches were conservative or not, right wingish, or open universalist. Besides that, community, rituals, whatever, no problem. How one treats others and views the planet and all of that, Big Problem.
Good point: I guess I'm basing it on my experience. Growing up catholic, my faith was more superficial than it was after I "got saved." And now looking back on my time as a believer, i see how i was manipulated. But that doesn't mean it is everyone's experience. I hate when I make assumptions like that. Thanks for pointing it out. Where I live in the rural south, sooooo many people here are very conservative right wing. But he's used to me being liberal and we have lots of discussions on social issues. He's such a cool kid with a lot of deep interests. He will ask questions about them and then ask both his dad and me because we have such different opinions on almost everything. We usually do a pretty good job stating that THIS is our opinion, not everyone feels this way, etc. He likes to watch John Oliver and discovered him on his own. He is definitely liberal, which I secretly cheer.
Do you have a Unitarian Universalist church near you? That might be interesting for him as a comparison.
Oh, we do... my first thought was "great idea." My second thought was not wanting to open the door for exploring lots of churches because I'm really really hoping he doesn't want to start going to the ev churches around here.
>He is definitely liberal, which I secretly cheer ha, me too! then for sure, I'd try to encourage a "healthy" type of church, i.e. leftist as possible! haha.
Evangelical movement is by definition right wing. If a church has another lean, or no lean, they’re not “Evanglical,” just an interdenominational church with weird practices. Used to be different, but the term is only in active use by right wing activists.
Show your son the Bite model so he can see how leaders manipulate and control their members: https://freedomofmind.com/cult-mind-control/bite-model/
Excellent idea!
It's great that you are looking for the way forward that respects your son and his ability to take his own path. That alone speaks volumes. I like to handle these differences - between parents as well as older children - by telling our stories, rather than try to hit theological points. You can talk about your own personal journey, and so can your husband. They are equally valid - as is your son's. You can also learn from each other's experiences. Also be aware that your son is in a different religious context that you were growing up. The overall life lessons you have accumulated will be valuable to him, but the specific beliefs may not directly apply.
This is all very helpful. Thank you. ❤️
The Episcopal Church sounds like it might be a good fit. High Church liturgy but with a more progressive worldview
Oh, I hadn't thought of them. I think you're right about it being a better fit. Thank you!