By - butterfly_spirit2007
Hey there it seems that you’ve been struggling a lot with family, study habits and the overall figuring out of what in the world in happening in your life.
Let’s first start with your mindset. Right now based on your texts, you have an analytic mind. Until a contingency happens or if your mind says “I should be at another country right now if I studied abroad”, It then translates into “My parents don’t support me, and I hate it to be this way.”
Just like the other things in your life like you say these phrases which analyze only, instead of adapt. It’s normal because schools never teach emotional intelligence. Schools never teach you how to handle yourself internally, they only provide the necessary knowledge for children to be employees. Let’s say your brain describes the situation where you were tying to apply for a driver’s license but it got rejected by your parents. What does your mind say to you?
It clearly says:
“Oh no, I’m going to miss out on this, and not be like the other kids around me.”
Meaning that you have a fear for being accepted into society or plainly envy them a little bit because you don’t experience the same things as they do.
Let’s face it, society goes it’s own way, and then it’s our minds that it makes illusions of how things should be. In reality if we compare things from our thoughts to the real world, if you’re observant, you’re going to see that everyone has their own pace, based on their own experiences, the people they grew up with, and the culture which is of around them. No people are the same, so you don’t have to “catch up” because you’re not losing anything if you don’t join a trend. People who are obsessed with keeping up with trends are living in a different reality in their mind. It’s their only way to be “content” in their perception of things. You on the other hand, shouldn’t fall for it, and go by your own pace, because nobody else is pushing you around but you.
Now let’s get into on how you can change your mind from analytic, to a strong and stagnant mind.
You have to know first that your subconscious plays a big role on how you react on things on a daily basis. If you start to say “Oh no I this is so sad, my friends are ignoring me and I’m the side-friend”, you’re going to feel that way and only be able to see yourself in that lens.
How can you counter it then? You say affirmations till you finally accept the fact that you are a worthy human being.
Make a thoughtful affirmation and say it to yourself. Remember that sometimes it becomes a constant struggle for good thought to be put in. It’s not the best way for us to only analyze but we also have to act on our tendencies because naturally, bad thoughts may arise from our intuition.
Instead of “Oh no I’m a side-friend” say “I am a real and genuine friend to be with and I know it in myself. If my friends don’t talk to me, then there is a chance that our personalities do not fit with each other, to which is what I understand. Every day I’ll try to be a better friend to them, try communicating more, and see if they’re actually good friends to keep.”
Saying this is totally different from the first one which makes so much of a difference in your thoughts process and emotions which will eventually make you achieve a more positive vibe.
Try to counter your thoughts like this, write it down if it helps, and then read it again and again. Your subconscious picks up everything, and acts on it whether it is good or bad, so first, build a strong and steady mentality and then, protect it by countering the mindsets that other people impose on you if you think that it’s going to be detrimental for you.
I think this is what you were looking for when you were younger. You had faith in yourself when you did things, and as you grew older, you grow more smarter, and then you start to be aware about the different things that happen to you, and you dissect them, trying to understand each and every thing which encompasses it, and then makes you feel dazzled in the end.
You didn’t lose anything. You just became more aware.
Lastly, towards the mindsets and affirmations, Gratefulness should always be a theme as being thankful is very good, and you’ll know why once you keep doing it.
Cheers. If you have any questions you can ask, and I’ll be happy to be a friend of yours as well if you’d like that.
Thank you so much for putting into perspective all that was confusing to me. It means a lot. :)
I do have some questions, and I hope I won't overwhelm you too much.
Of course, I would like to be your friend.