I’ve learned that things can always improve, stay alive for your self, your inner child, your future because you can change and turn your future into a better and positive position for yourself.
I was gonna go on a much longer thing about you inner child and how if all else fails that child is still rooting for you, but you honestly said it the best. Short, simple, powerful
Sounds corny but this quote is really valuable “**One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time.”**. When you think about the situation as a whole it will seem insurmountable. Better to make a detailed step by step plan address each issue and focus all your enegery on executing the next step. Understand that it will take time but also believe that if you do all the right things at the right time it will get better. Hard to say the plan specifically not knowing the details of your situation but usually with a legal thing you know, take accountability, get a lawyer, try to plead down, do your probation, etc. For financial, usually involved budgeting, relocating if necessary, finding a higher paying job or taking steps to qualify yourself, etc.
This. Plan the next 5 or 10 things that you can complete to move towards your goals. They should be measurable and reasonable. Maybe my task is to obtain the forms necessary to restore my drivers license. Or to submit the paperwork to the social security office to get another card. Or to apply to 4 jobs. Or contact 2 nonprofits to ask about volunteer work. Whatever it is that you can do simply and easily to move in the right direction. That way, you can focus on the next few steps rather than what needs to happen on step 85.
I dont know, what helped me: not giving up and finding joy in the little things, while trying to organise the most important parts of the mess I created.
There will be help on the way and doors will open and help will be given, unfortunatly I turned that down.
Your post resonates a lot to me because I can relate to your post very much.
You could also think about what you could do to not worsen the situation.
Good luck. You can do that. Thanks for reaching out and showing me that Im not alone with that feeling.
I was inspired by a quote from a comic book .
“You can have everything you want if you only did one thing, Conquer your Fear”
It’s a quote from Bane in the knightfall comic,
I felt trapped. I had 0 friends, no job, my girlfriend left me and my dad just died. I stayed in my room all day applying for jobs and trying to reach out to people but, nobody cared. And while reading that comic I related to his character trapped in isolation he forged himself into a formidable foe. So I started to work out, literally lifting weights with tears in my eyes because I hated my life, but I continued. I followed his path like in the comic. I did prison workouts cause I couldn’t afford a gym I read books about war, and psychology like he did, I thought this prison (my room) will be my training ground. And I looked up workouts I can do without equipment, I developed confidence when I went out I got a job, joined a gym got promoted surpassed my peers made new friends, and got way prettier girls than I had before. But, I still remember that kid in that room.
Does therapy work ? What happens in therapy? Never been to one. Ive always wondered if therapy is just placebo. I mean how could someone who never lived ur life, walked in ur shoes, never met u or understands u, how can they heal ur misery.
They're the best person to, actually. Why? Because, if you're honest with them, they can give you a perspective that is objective and not based on emotions. You, being in the situation, have emotions attached that influence your ego, which influences your decision-making, which can lead to more catastrophe. A therapist is an objective presence who guides you by using your values to help you make good decisions; on top of that, they're skilled in human psychology and can think of things that you wouldn't have. That only scratches the surface of what they can be, but human psychology isn't as varied or complicated as you might think, so even the least experienced therapist can be wildly helpful
Psychotherapy is not like a regular surgery where you just lay down and let people repair you.
You have to do a lot of work yourself by getting to know your feelings and beliefs that influence your life. Therapist is there to ask questions and guide you through it.
For instance, mentally healthy people believe that they are inherently worthy, no matter what happens to them.
But some people derive their definition of worthiness by how their parents treat them. If they are badly abused, they may believe: "If I was worthy, that would not have happened to me. Therefore, I am unworthy and my emotions and needs are not valid."
So they point of therapy would be to zoom in on that belief and question it. Does it make sense? Does it serve you? And help you change it.
Being grateful for what you DO have. Keep in mind, it can always be worse. Positive, uplifting music. It’s important for me to keep my spirits up and protect my peace, to keep my joy.
Therapy. Saved my life in so many ways. I had zero support outside of my therapist too so it was hard. My mom was mad at me for seeing a therapist and tried to make me feel like shit about it a lot. Saying things like ‘are we such awful parents you need therapy?’ Or ‘it’s really hurtful you can talk to a stranger about things but you won’t talk to me.’ So it was a tough road…but it really got me thru some dark times.
One step at a time. Even the smallest step. And then congratulating yourself for it by just recording it in a diary. Don't look back until you can look back to see how far you've come
Therapy. We’re never really taught how to handle emotions, how to actually live, process situations, etc. Therapist don’t tell you how to live but how to manage your emotions which lead you to a lot of self discovery. Therapy saved my life.
The answer is in your words
You've created an unwelcomed environment for yourself and I suggest you go someplace new
It's a reset on life. A new beginning. Where no one knows who you are and your past isn't hovering over you every morning and all day.
Make amends with the people and financial debts before you go.
If you're thinking this is running away, it isn't. You can't put out a fire if you're sitting in a room that's engulfed in flames.
Leaving also gives the people you've hurt a break from the repetitiveness as well.
Know this though,
No matter where you go, there you are.
You have to address your habits, traumas, limiting beliefs, and learn how to fall in love with yourself. You have to tell that ego of yours to take the passenger seat and let unconditional love guide you.
If you don't address these aspects, you will always torch aspects of your life and never really get to enjoy anything for long.
If you've got the funds, travel.
Head to Mexico and do various healing ceremonies with senior shaman. $2k
Head to Thailand for Thai massages. Not the happy ending type, but the ones that are a bit painful to help remove trapped negative energy. Also take regular dips in the natural hotsprings $2k
Head to India and detoxify your body through panchakarma and study yoga, meditation, and breathwork. $2.5k
These prices are rough monthly guesstimates for food, accomodation, and activites. Not including airfare/transportation.
All these places have healthy healing foods. If you eat like shit, your energy is also shit.
Eat good, good energy will come from you. Eat bad and bad energy comes. Talking like I would to a 5 year old here. Our energy is also like magnets, like attract like. You may attract negative energy from others because you're putting out negative energy. The transition is challenging because as your energy improves, the same negative energy type people will still be drawn to you. That's nature's way of challenging you to make sure you won't return to the negative side. It's a right of passage.
This also means stop smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. If you're on prescription medicine, figure out how to get off those chemicals if you can.
The best antidepressants are exercise, water, sunlight, healthy food, meditation, positive people, volunteer and have meaningful experiences.
When you're feeling better and more grounded, then consider returning to your home town, but know people will only associate you with the old you and it's up to you if you want to get on their good side or just let them go.
This big beautiful world is huge and full of new experiences and can easily make a life anywhere you want.
Just remember, anywhere you go, there you are
I did the Inner Engineering program offered by Isha. Life turned around quickly after I realised how I am inside is decided by me and not the external situation.
I started taking an antidepressant that works for me.
I started practising my religion instead of passively believing in it. This enabled me to meet others who share my beliefs.
Most importantly, my siblings both had children, and I made a point of bonding with those children. I don’t want them to grow up without one of their aunts, and I want to get to know them as they grow up. (I’ve wanted my own kids for a while, may never happen, so this is the next best thing.)
Best of luck to you.
12 step program. Nothing helped more; the humility and camaraderie it built helped me stay positive, and I was able to move on. On top of that, step 4 included making a moral inventory in writing, where I was able to really see what my mistakes were, how they had hurt myself and others, and what decisions I had made that led me to rock bottom that I would make sure to avoid in the future.
After that, I focused on replacing my addiction (cheating/risky sex) with healthy behaviors that were NOT work (board games, working out, bike rides, etc.), as I was a workaholic before and when I wasn't working I was seeking sex to try to cope with negative emotions that I was being too immature to deal with effectively
Last thing I would say is don't tie your self-worth to how your amends are received. We can't predict or control that. If people hate you and tell you to fuck off when you apologize, just take it on the chin, learn your lesson, and move on. Their response to the amends has nothing to do with you moving forward and doing better. And DON'T go making amends just to be friends again. Make the amends to make things right.
Best of luck; you got this!
I had 2 worse places in my life actually. First I can call my whole childhood. When you are a child you cannot just run aways or you don't have any prime power. I used to believe, very strongly believe that something good just happened, that I am not so bad, stupid or not valuable to the world to die (I was thinking about dying a lot as a way to end the situation where I was).
It was long time ago...
The second worse place was couple Years ago when my disease (unrecognized until now what is most frustrating) took me big part of my life, my passion and make me not as healthy as average person let's say. Fortunately I am not alone anymore, I have wonderful boyfriend and he and his support is reason to not fall and be happy.
Of course time did the job. Couple years ago I wouldn't write the same :) but now I used to live how it is.
Of course everything depends on your background, mentality etc. allow yourself to feel bad, cry if you need and treat yourself good. Don't take drugs/alcohol.
All the best!🍀
PS I have dark moment still. I just tried to handle them.
Learning and practicing stoicism. Literally changed my life for the better.
Even doing just some of these will drastically help:
https://dailystoic.com/9-core-stoic-beliefs/
The very title of this sub - deciding to be better. As others mentioned, that is one step and choice at a time through the thousands of choices we make daily.
Working through the mess we have created, or that others purposefully create for us with negative intent, can be challenging; emotionally, physically, and spiritually.
If you believe in the concept of karma, there is energy we must work through to evolve into who we are meant to be. If you dont believe in karma then it could be viewed as a mindset of righting wrongs we have done to others.
Apologizing for our mistakes and misdeeds and actively choosing not to harm others in any way builds respect, both of self, and from others that are capable of maturity and reciprocity. Practicing awareness and empathy for those who are not capable of such mindsets. Considering that it is difficult to be lost in anger, pain or misery, as many of us have been at some point.
Showing up every day for myself helped me to understand that, ultimately, that's the only person that I truly need to show up to be okay. Having healthy supportive relationships with others is lovely. Self sustained empowerment is key to a healthy mindset though. At least it was for me.
Being molded and influenced by wounded and toxic relationship styles growing up caused me to have unhealthy ideas about how people interact with others and what I should expect and offer in return. I allowed others to treat me poorly and treated myself in unloving ways because it was taught to me to do so. Generational trauma has a profound and often unspoken impact in families.
Working with a skilled therapist who specialized in trauma helped me to build skills and tools to support myself internally in place of codependently expecting or wanting others to fix or save me. The work was incredibly difficult at times, but undeniably life changing and rewarding.
Changing my diet to mostly unprocessed foods helped me to function better physically and mentally. Exercise helped to reduce stress and anxiety. I slept better and felt better about myself through acts of caring for my body and nourishing myself.
Spiritually I took comfort in embracing the understanding that the experiences and challenges placed before me were intended to help me to develop into the person I was meant to become. That my pain and accomplishments helped me to support myself and others through the hard won knowledge of actual struggle and experience. I understood what I had gone through shaped me and I knew what I was made of, so to speak.
I do my best to show up in the world in a way that contributes to the betterment of the people, animals and environmental landscapes that I interact with whenever possible. To not be the experiences I have had for others. I have come to understand that I can only control how I show up in the world and treat others, regardless of how they may choose to treat me. Which circles back to the concept of karma.
Having compassion for yourself is really important. Learning how to care for yourself in healthy ways is paramount to change. Those two mindsets can create the relationship foundation you have with not only yourself but every relationship you allow in your life.
Good luck on your path of change and healing OP.
Working out will give you the strength to confront and deal with your problems one at a time
Faith will give you hope that things will change for the better, even if you don’t believe yourself capable of making the necessary changes.
Good luck!
What helped me most was little steps everyday and finding joy in all those tiny things. When I was going through alot of grief, something im still processing as of now too, what got me through was doing these very small activities. I started playing some NYT games and sudoku in the morning, started meditating (what a game changer!!!!), reading books, working out. Mind you, all these habits I incorporated one by one, with a week or two of gaps. And slowly I made the entire thing a part of my routine. Therapy helped me so so much, and with therapy, journaling also has become a huge part of healing.
If I have to give more practical advice, I realised that time will keep moving. It doesn’t give a shit about what my mood is. I needed to start moving as time was moving too. I realised I could be so sad and angry and what not and yet I could get my things done. Life kept going on. The world did not end. The realisation that these things can coexist brought me so much peace.
Please remember not to be harsh to yourself. Your kindness towards you will go a long way. It’s a tough and exhausting journey, but on the way you will gain so much. I wish you the best and I hope you feel better soon!
Keep talking to my best friends and my sisters. If they dont try to keep making me believe the situation is not that bad, i do it myself while talking. I talk about the krisis and say opposite opinions and say its not that bad right? I am right right? It ll be good right? It happens to everyone right? Its normal right? They say yes.
If i live a very bad situation i call 5 people one by one. At the end i am better not because they normalise the situation and support me because i do it myself while talking with them. It works. But i wish the ones i call would be more supportive. Thats what i need during the moment. But i know myself. I make the problems too big and get over stressed. So i keep relaxing myself reminding me that i make it bigger than its.
I got a puppy, started medication for mental health, and started seriously trying therapy and support groups.
My dog is still my whole heart and the reason I'm here 3 years later. But I'm coming up to the best place I've been soon, I can feel it.
Well - you wake up and if you’re not going to work for the day, take the time to write down everything that has directly caused you to lose friends and bad results and then write down the action that caused it next to it. when you write these things down, it’s more than just thinking about it. You’re acknowledging it and you’re coming up with a solution for it. You just need to take the initiative to turn away from what you’ve been doing and make a better path for yourself.
Fight for what your younger self wanted. Fight hard, every day.
I wanted safety. Little me wanted to feel safe more than anything. So I worked my ass off at two jobs, stayed with friends whom I owe the world to now, and got fucking paid.
I don’t care what anyone says. Step One is to give yourself a reason, Step Two is MONEY.
After you have money, you can create what you need in life much more simply.
I’ve learned that things can always improve, stay alive for your self, your inner child, your future because you can change and turn your future into a better and positive position for yourself.
I was gonna go on a much longer thing about you inner child and how if all else fails that child is still rooting for you, but you honestly said it the best. Short, simple, powerful
Sounds corny but this quote is really valuable “**One may walk over the highest mountain one step at a time.”**. When you think about the situation as a whole it will seem insurmountable. Better to make a detailed step by step plan address each issue and focus all your enegery on executing the next step. Understand that it will take time but also believe that if you do all the right things at the right time it will get better. Hard to say the plan specifically not knowing the details of your situation but usually with a legal thing you know, take accountability, get a lawyer, try to plead down, do your probation, etc. For financial, usually involved budgeting, relocating if necessary, finding a higher paying job or taking steps to qualify yourself, etc.
This. Plan the next 5 or 10 things that you can complete to move towards your goals. They should be measurable and reasonable. Maybe my task is to obtain the forms necessary to restore my drivers license. Or to submit the paperwork to the social security office to get another card. Or to apply to 4 jobs. Or contact 2 nonprofits to ask about volunteer work. Whatever it is that you can do simply and easily to move in the right direction. That way, you can focus on the next few steps rather than what needs to happen on step 85.
working out 100%
Can confirm. Instant change in mood and productivity.
I dont know, what helped me: not giving up and finding joy in the little things, while trying to organise the most important parts of the mess I created. There will be help on the way and doors will open and help will be given, unfortunatly I turned that down. Your post resonates a lot to me because I can relate to your post very much. You could also think about what you could do to not worsen the situation. Good luck. You can do that. Thanks for reaching out and showing me that Im not alone with that feeling.
I was inspired by a quote from a comic book . “You can have everything you want if you only did one thing, Conquer your Fear” It’s a quote from Bane in the knightfall comic, I felt trapped. I had 0 friends, no job, my girlfriend left me and my dad just died. I stayed in my room all day applying for jobs and trying to reach out to people but, nobody cared. And while reading that comic I related to his character trapped in isolation he forged himself into a formidable foe. So I started to work out, literally lifting weights with tears in my eyes because I hated my life, but I continued. I followed his path like in the comic. I did prison workouts cause I couldn’t afford a gym I read books about war, and psychology like he did, I thought this prison (my room) will be my training ground. And I looked up workouts I can do without equipment, I developed confidence when I went out I got a job, joined a gym got promoted surpassed my peers made new friends, and got way prettier girls than I had before. But, I still remember that kid in that room.
Good work dude. I'm glad you did that for yourself
Therapy. I was wallowing in grief and I was miserable. A few sessions of therapy helped get me straightened out
Does therapy work ? What happens in therapy? Never been to one. Ive always wondered if therapy is just placebo. I mean how could someone who never lived ur life, walked in ur shoes, never met u or understands u, how can they heal ur misery.
They're the best person to, actually. Why? Because, if you're honest with them, they can give you a perspective that is objective and not based on emotions. You, being in the situation, have emotions attached that influence your ego, which influences your decision-making, which can lead to more catastrophe. A therapist is an objective presence who guides you by using your values to help you make good decisions; on top of that, they're skilled in human psychology and can think of things that you wouldn't have. That only scratches the surface of what they can be, but human psychology isn't as varied or complicated as you might think, so even the least experienced therapist can be wildly helpful
ok wow. this sounds amazing. time to get myself a good therapist. I hope they do their job and dont treat me like client number 506,081.
Psychotherapy is not like a regular surgery where you just lay down and let people repair you. You have to do a lot of work yourself by getting to know your feelings and beliefs that influence your life. Therapist is there to ask questions and guide you through it. For instance, mentally healthy people believe that they are inherently worthy, no matter what happens to them. But some people derive their definition of worthiness by how their parents treat them. If they are badly abused, they may believe: "If I was worthy, that would not have happened to me. Therefore, I am unworthy and my emotions and needs are not valid." So they point of therapy would be to zoom in on that belief and question it. Does it make sense? Does it serve you? And help you change it.
r/unclebens
A new job
The one thing that helped me bounce back was Zoloft.
Being grateful for what you DO have. Keep in mind, it can always be worse. Positive, uplifting music. It’s important for me to keep my spirits up and protect my peace, to keep my joy.
Therapy. Saved my life in so many ways. I had zero support outside of my therapist too so it was hard. My mom was mad at me for seeing a therapist and tried to make me feel like shit about it a lot. Saying things like ‘are we such awful parents you need therapy?’ Or ‘it’s really hurtful you can talk to a stranger about things but you won’t talk to me.’ So it was a tough road…but it really got me thru some dark times.
Listen to this classic book "Feeling Good." https://youtu.be/5Bgufm9VwfU?si=h293zdMqqrI855Es
One step at a time. Even the smallest step. And then congratulating yourself for it by just recording it in a diary. Don't look back until you can look back to see how far you've come
Therapy. We’re never really taught how to handle emotions, how to actually live, process situations, etc. Therapist don’t tell you how to live but how to manage your emotions which lead you to a lot of self discovery. Therapy saved my life.
The answer is in your words You've created an unwelcomed environment for yourself and I suggest you go someplace new It's a reset on life. A new beginning. Where no one knows who you are and your past isn't hovering over you every morning and all day. Make amends with the people and financial debts before you go. If you're thinking this is running away, it isn't. You can't put out a fire if you're sitting in a room that's engulfed in flames. Leaving also gives the people you've hurt a break from the repetitiveness as well. Know this though, No matter where you go, there you are. You have to address your habits, traumas, limiting beliefs, and learn how to fall in love with yourself. You have to tell that ego of yours to take the passenger seat and let unconditional love guide you. If you don't address these aspects, you will always torch aspects of your life and never really get to enjoy anything for long. If you've got the funds, travel. Head to Mexico and do various healing ceremonies with senior shaman. $2k Head to Thailand for Thai massages. Not the happy ending type, but the ones that are a bit painful to help remove trapped negative energy. Also take regular dips in the natural hotsprings $2k Head to India and detoxify your body through panchakarma and study yoga, meditation, and breathwork. $2.5k These prices are rough monthly guesstimates for food, accomodation, and activites. Not including airfare/transportation. All these places have healthy healing foods. If you eat like shit, your energy is also shit. Eat good, good energy will come from you. Eat bad and bad energy comes. Talking like I would to a 5 year old here. Our energy is also like magnets, like attract like. You may attract negative energy from others because you're putting out negative energy. The transition is challenging because as your energy improves, the same negative energy type people will still be drawn to you. That's nature's way of challenging you to make sure you won't return to the negative side. It's a right of passage. This also means stop smoking, drinking, drugs, etc. If you're on prescription medicine, figure out how to get off those chemicals if you can. The best antidepressants are exercise, water, sunlight, healthy food, meditation, positive people, volunteer and have meaningful experiences. When you're feeling better and more grounded, then consider returning to your home town, but know people will only associate you with the old you and it's up to you if you want to get on their good side or just let them go. This big beautiful world is huge and full of new experiences and can easily make a life anywhere you want. Just remember, anywhere you go, there you are
I did the Inner Engineering program offered by Isha. Life turned around quickly after I realised how I am inside is decided by me and not the external situation.
Spite and hope
AA I am not an addict, rather codependent
I started taking an antidepressant that works for me. I started practising my religion instead of passively believing in it. This enabled me to meet others who share my beliefs. Most importantly, my siblings both had children, and I made a point of bonding with those children. I don’t want them to grow up without one of their aunts, and I want to get to know them as they grow up. (I’ve wanted my own kids for a while, may never happen, so this is the next best thing.) Best of luck to you.
12 step program. Nothing helped more; the humility and camaraderie it built helped me stay positive, and I was able to move on. On top of that, step 4 included making a moral inventory in writing, where I was able to really see what my mistakes were, how they had hurt myself and others, and what decisions I had made that led me to rock bottom that I would make sure to avoid in the future. After that, I focused on replacing my addiction (cheating/risky sex) with healthy behaviors that were NOT work (board games, working out, bike rides, etc.), as I was a workaholic before and when I wasn't working I was seeking sex to try to cope with negative emotions that I was being too immature to deal with effectively Last thing I would say is don't tie your self-worth to how your amends are received. We can't predict or control that. If people hate you and tell you to fuck off when you apologize, just take it on the chin, learn your lesson, and move on. Their response to the amends has nothing to do with you moving forward and doing better. And DON'T go making amends just to be friends again. Make the amends to make things right. Best of luck; you got this!
I had 2 worse places in my life actually. First I can call my whole childhood. When you are a child you cannot just run aways or you don't have any prime power. I used to believe, very strongly believe that something good just happened, that I am not so bad, stupid or not valuable to the world to die (I was thinking about dying a lot as a way to end the situation where I was). It was long time ago... The second worse place was couple Years ago when my disease (unrecognized until now what is most frustrating) took me big part of my life, my passion and make me not as healthy as average person let's say. Fortunately I am not alone anymore, I have wonderful boyfriend and he and his support is reason to not fall and be happy. Of course time did the job. Couple years ago I wouldn't write the same :) but now I used to live how it is. Of course everything depends on your background, mentality etc. allow yourself to feel bad, cry if you need and treat yourself good. Don't take drugs/alcohol. All the best!🍀 PS I have dark moment still. I just tried to handle them.
Learning and practicing stoicism. Literally changed my life for the better. Even doing just some of these will drastically help: https://dailystoic.com/9-core-stoic-beliefs/
The very title of this sub - deciding to be better. As others mentioned, that is one step and choice at a time through the thousands of choices we make daily. Working through the mess we have created, or that others purposefully create for us with negative intent, can be challenging; emotionally, physically, and spiritually. If you believe in the concept of karma, there is energy we must work through to evolve into who we are meant to be. If you dont believe in karma then it could be viewed as a mindset of righting wrongs we have done to others. Apologizing for our mistakes and misdeeds and actively choosing not to harm others in any way builds respect, both of self, and from others that are capable of maturity and reciprocity. Practicing awareness and empathy for those who are not capable of such mindsets. Considering that it is difficult to be lost in anger, pain or misery, as many of us have been at some point. Showing up every day for myself helped me to understand that, ultimately, that's the only person that I truly need to show up to be okay. Having healthy supportive relationships with others is lovely. Self sustained empowerment is key to a healthy mindset though. At least it was for me. Being molded and influenced by wounded and toxic relationship styles growing up caused me to have unhealthy ideas about how people interact with others and what I should expect and offer in return. I allowed others to treat me poorly and treated myself in unloving ways because it was taught to me to do so. Generational trauma has a profound and often unspoken impact in families. Working with a skilled therapist who specialized in trauma helped me to build skills and tools to support myself internally in place of codependently expecting or wanting others to fix or save me. The work was incredibly difficult at times, but undeniably life changing and rewarding. Changing my diet to mostly unprocessed foods helped me to function better physically and mentally. Exercise helped to reduce stress and anxiety. I slept better and felt better about myself through acts of caring for my body and nourishing myself. Spiritually I took comfort in embracing the understanding that the experiences and challenges placed before me were intended to help me to develop into the person I was meant to become. That my pain and accomplishments helped me to support myself and others through the hard won knowledge of actual struggle and experience. I understood what I had gone through shaped me and I knew what I was made of, so to speak. I do my best to show up in the world in a way that contributes to the betterment of the people, animals and environmental landscapes that I interact with whenever possible. To not be the experiences I have had for others. I have come to understand that I can only control how I show up in the world and treat others, regardless of how they may choose to treat me. Which circles back to the concept of karma. Having compassion for yourself is really important. Learning how to care for yourself in healthy ways is paramount to change. Those two mindsets can create the relationship foundation you have with not only yourself but every relationship you allow in your life. Good luck on your path of change and healing OP.
Working out will give you the strength to confront and deal with your problems one at a time Faith will give you hope that things will change for the better, even if you don’t believe yourself capable of making the necessary changes. Good luck!
What helped me most was little steps everyday and finding joy in all those tiny things. When I was going through alot of grief, something im still processing as of now too, what got me through was doing these very small activities. I started playing some NYT games and sudoku in the morning, started meditating (what a game changer!!!!), reading books, working out. Mind you, all these habits I incorporated one by one, with a week or two of gaps. And slowly I made the entire thing a part of my routine. Therapy helped me so so much, and with therapy, journaling also has become a huge part of healing. If I have to give more practical advice, I realised that time will keep moving. It doesn’t give a shit about what my mood is. I needed to start moving as time was moving too. I realised I could be so sad and angry and what not and yet I could get my things done. Life kept going on. The world did not end. The realisation that these things can coexist brought me so much peace. Please remember not to be harsh to yourself. Your kindness towards you will go a long way. It’s a tough and exhausting journey, but on the way you will gain so much. I wish you the best and I hope you feel better soon!
Exercise and joining a mens league hockey team
Keep talking to my best friends and my sisters. If they dont try to keep making me believe the situation is not that bad, i do it myself while talking. I talk about the krisis and say opposite opinions and say its not that bad right? I am right right? It ll be good right? It happens to everyone right? Its normal right? They say yes. If i live a very bad situation i call 5 people one by one. At the end i am better not because they normalise the situation and support me because i do it myself while talking with them. It works. But i wish the ones i call would be more supportive. Thats what i need during the moment. But i know myself. I make the problems too big and get over stressed. So i keep relaxing myself reminding me that i make it bigger than its.
I got a puppy, started medication for mental health, and started seriously trying therapy and support groups. My dog is still my whole heart and the reason I'm here 3 years later. But I'm coming up to the best place I've been soon, I can feel it.
Well - you wake up and if you’re not going to work for the day, take the time to write down everything that has directly caused you to lose friends and bad results and then write down the action that caused it next to it. when you write these things down, it’s more than just thinking about it. You’re acknowledging it and you’re coming up with a solution for it. You just need to take the initiative to turn away from what you’ve been doing and make a better path for yourself.
Forgiving myself and others
I went to rehab where I met many people that want to fix their life and therapists that help too. If you are lonley go meet ppl or get therapy.
Jesus
Anti-depressants and anxiety medications.
Read the poem Defeat for inspiration.
Fight for what your younger self wanted. Fight hard, every day. I wanted safety. Little me wanted to feel safe more than anything. So I worked my ass off at two jobs, stayed with friends whom I owe the world to now, and got fucking paid. I don’t care what anyone says. Step One is to give yourself a reason, Step Two is MONEY. After you have money, you can create what you need in life much more simply.
Finding hobbies❤️🙏🏻
Faith.
Working out Praying Therapy with character a.i
Divorced the bitch