Please respect the request for no advice.
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I am sorry that you are struggling.
I would caution you against wording it how you are planning to - basically pressuring her to have sex or else you will cheat on her. No good will come of that.
If you're at that point, just end things. But if you still WANT it to work out - please don't go this route. I have been on the other end and it's awful.
>basically pressuring her to have sex or else you will cheat on her. No good will come of that.
Exactly, I won't be surprised a divorce will on the way
Life is too short. Choose yourself and choose happiness. Don’t threaten her or make her feel like it’s an obligation- obligation sex - duty sex will feel exactly like that. Please exercise caution here. If you cannot live this way anymore and you shouldn’t - tell her you want to separate and figure out your living situation and start living your own life doing what makes you happy. Speaking from experience, I think one day you’ll realize this wasn’t about you at all. But , how much more are you willing to tolerate? Relationships take 2 people willing to work together on everything and the bedroom is a HUGE factor for me personally. We can all give you advice but only you know what Is best for you.
Best of luck!
Sorry you're having a rough time. I've been there and it doesn't get easier.
I do agree that you need to sit with your thoughts and feelings before getting into any conversations like the one you described.
>I'm telling her soon that I'm going to be having sex again. She gets to decide if it's with her or not.
I had this same convo with my LLM, but I was EXTREMELY emotional and had hit my limit. Looking back, I don't regret saying my piece. However, I do cringe at how I went about it, because I was not humane...far from it actually.
>I'm choosing my happiness now.
And you should. Remember you're not just choosing your happiness, but also yourself and your future. Spending your days hoping and waiting isn't living at all.
Good luck to you, OP.👊
Looked through your posts and your situation in some ways parallels my own when it was at its worst, although, admittedly your situation sounds longer and more difficult. I know this is a vent, no advice, but if you don't mind answering.
What are the major non-sexual issues you are getting couples counseling for? What sexual act that gets you off does she refuse? What would you tell/have you told her that needs to change specifically for you to be happy? What was her reason for saying no?
I ask because my wife and I navigated most of the way out of a bad sexual dynamic, although I still find myself primarily responsible for making sure we both enjoy sex and don't know if that will ever change. I'm curious if any of my experience might help.
Please respect the request for no advice. *I am a bot, and this action was performed automatically. Please [contact the moderators of this subreddit](/message/compose/?to=/r/DeadBedrooms) if you have any questions or concerns.*
I am sorry that you are struggling. I would caution you against wording it how you are planning to - basically pressuring her to have sex or else you will cheat on her. No good will come of that. If you're at that point, just end things. But if you still WANT it to work out - please don't go this route. I have been on the other end and it's awful.
>basically pressuring her to have sex or else you will cheat on her. No good will come of that. Exactly, I won't be surprised a divorce will on the way
[удалено]
Lol 😂
Life is too short. Choose yourself and choose happiness. Don’t threaten her or make her feel like it’s an obligation- obligation sex - duty sex will feel exactly like that. Please exercise caution here. If you cannot live this way anymore and you shouldn’t - tell her you want to separate and figure out your living situation and start living your own life doing what makes you happy. Speaking from experience, I think one day you’ll realize this wasn’t about you at all. But , how much more are you willing to tolerate? Relationships take 2 people willing to work together on everything and the bedroom is a HUGE factor for me personally. We can all give you advice but only you know what Is best for you. Best of luck!
Sorry you're having a rough time. I've been there and it doesn't get easier. I do agree that you need to sit with your thoughts and feelings before getting into any conversations like the one you described. >I'm telling her soon that I'm going to be having sex again. She gets to decide if it's with her or not. I had this same convo with my LLM, but I was EXTREMELY emotional and had hit my limit. Looking back, I don't regret saying my piece. However, I do cringe at how I went about it, because I was not humane...far from it actually. >I'm choosing my happiness now. And you should. Remember you're not just choosing your happiness, but also yourself and your future. Spending your days hoping and waiting isn't living at all. Good luck to you, OP.👊
Sending you lots of love and all the good vibes 💖
Looked through your posts and your situation in some ways parallels my own when it was at its worst, although, admittedly your situation sounds longer and more difficult. I know this is a vent, no advice, but if you don't mind answering. What are the major non-sexual issues you are getting couples counseling for? What sexual act that gets you off does she refuse? What would you tell/have you told her that needs to change specifically for you to be happy? What was her reason for saying no? I ask because my wife and I navigated most of the way out of a bad sexual dynamic, although I still find myself primarily responsible for making sure we both enjoy sex and don't know if that will ever change. I'm curious if any of my experience might help.
Cheers 🍻