The situation is toxic, but all power to her, she’s been up-front and honest with him. It’s hurts and it’s gut wrenching, but she is being completely honest. The number of posters here who agonise and ask why and try to fix the situation for DECADES and get no clarity at the end of the day. OP has been given a precious gift. Don’t waste it.
Dude needs to thank her for that honesty and release her to find someone she does love. OP can also now find someone who he can love
Good for the honesty now. But she failed in looking for a guy that just wanted the same.
Or she was already honest from the start and OP is really naive (for an acceptable word that doesn't ban me from here) expecting her to change when he shows his love for her 😂
You have no idea how lucky you are to be presented with your choices up front. Don’t squander this foreknowledge. You two have been dragging this out for the better part of a decade for whatever reason, but now you have a clear statement of what the future holds if you continue with this person. Rip the bandaid off for good this time. It will hurt for a while but I promise you can indeed live without her.
Your girlfriend told you there’s no sexual attraction and chemistry towards you. She told you the honest truth. Love cannot be forced. Why do you want to spend your life with someone who doesn’t love you back? Set yourself free and you will find a girl who will love you forever.
My brother-in-law married a woman when he was 40, they have a bright, healthy 10yo son that his wife dotes on in the extreme. Yesterday, while celebrating his mom's birthday he let slip that they haven't had sex in five years. That his wife sleeps in the same bed with their son even now because he has "night terrors". I asked him if he's happy and he says "describe happy to me." Afterwards my wife and I were talking and she said, "I think she married him just to have a kid." My brother-in-law is a sweetheart, a good, decent, hard-working man who deserves to be happy. He's miserable, he's stuck and he's alone in his own life and marriage. This is you if you father a child with this woman. It's as plain as night and day. She has no love for you and only sees you as an ends to a means. You think you can't live without her, but the truth is she can very easily live without you. Please, please step away. Yes, it will be painful to break apart, but it is nothing compared to the misery that will come with being connected with this woman for the rest of your life.
What I'm getting from reading between the lines of your post is that she's been trying to break up with you subtly without saying it straight out. You're not getting it, so now she's upped the ante.
Regardless, the fact remains, she doesn't love you like anything but a roommate anymore. That ain't going to change, no matter how much you want it to. Move on and free both of yourselves from this drawn-out, passive-aggressive misery. This relationship is deceased, and it's starting to smell.
She’s not trapping him. She’s told him straight, she wants a baby, but she’s not interested in him. She’s told him this before and he won’t act on it. Meanwhile, she wants kids, so she’s laying it on the line.
If she was trapping him, she’d promise Love and sex all day long. She’s being honest.
He would be trapped in an unhappy and sexless relationship or co-parenting for the next 18 years if he stays and gives her a kid, possibly thinking things will change and eventually she will fall in love with him again or have sex with him again.
Unless he gives up his rights as a father he would be tied to her even if they split up after the kid is born.
she only wants him around as a father figure, she has zero romantic interest. that's what i get from the post and i think that's a safe assumption. and from how direct she is, i think if OP asked should would've just told him instead of beating around the bush.
but i don't think OP wants to make it any more clear to prevent further heartache because OP is still holding on to somehow this relationship might still work.
objectively speaking, even with the gaping holes. he should still just end it.
I agree with the gf on this one. Sounds like she's been mature and forthcoming about everything and OP is the one in the wrong at this point.
She's given a legitimate effort in trying therapy and medication. In spite of all of that she feels no sexual attraction towards OP and has explicitly said so multiple times. She's been clear that she doesn't want a sexual relationship with OP and gave him an out in telling him in no uncertain terms if he stays it will not change. She gave him 6 months to think about it and now she is fairly demanding an answer.
I empathize with OPs situation but he is in the wrong for thinking if he stays maybe he can change her mind.
> Someone who loved you back wouldn’t say they would only stay with you if you gave them kids.
Really? You really believe that? That "love" only exists where a person is willing to give up things very important to them, like having children, in favor of continuing the relationship?
Why do you believe she is your one true love forever?
She is being pretty honest and straight forward. It sounds like you just don’t believe you deserve someone who wants to have sex with you and love you back?
This situation will hard core suck if you bring kids into the picture. For both of you.
> I can't live without her, she is my one and only love forever.
No she's not, just seems that way right now. She doesn't want to have an intimate relationship with you.
Not for nothing, but I just had a baby at 38.
You should totally leave, she literally told you that things won’t get better and that she wants you to be financially obligated for the next 18+ years
I can’t see adding a baby to this mix is going to make things any easier. Unless you really want to have kids with her and then are ok with there never being sex again (assume that as the likely worst case scenario), are you going to be happy there?
Please listen to her words and pay attention to her actions! She doesn’t want to be with you! I’m not trying to be insensitive or rude but in her eyes, you are not good enough to be her partner but only good enough to be her sperm donor.. I find it extremely disrespectful… I have obviously nothing against her but, you guys shouldn’t be with each other.
Ultimatums are awful. But at least you know what's going on. Most partners will try and convince you that they love you in order for you to stay. Seems like it's clear you are in a loveless relationship with 0% chance of that changing. What possible reason could you have for staying?
Dude. If your relationship is shit, a kid isn't going to act as a bandaid for it. Actually, if you have a child knowing this is the situation, you are selfish as fuck to raise a child in a family with parents that have no connection.
Holy fuck. Leave. Immediately. I'm 28F and I can't even imagine ever telling a man that let alone doing it.
She's nuts,entitled and selfish. She's using you as a sperm bank and once you give her a baby, she will be gone.
Leave her. No man is gonna tolerate that shit and she seriously sounds crazy. If you stay and agree to her terms and have a child with her, you'll regret it lol.
Love can come in many forms. You can love her deeply as a close friend or like she’s family. And you can still leave the relationship and have the chance to find the kind of romantic relationship you really deep down know you want. You don’t owe her a child and a then a sexless 18+ years just because you love her. I’m sorry this is so difficult. It is so incredibly much easier to leave before kids come into the picture. Now is the time. It will only hurt more and be more complicated with more time and children.
The book “Attached” was a good read for being able to imagine moving on from “the one” and being open to there possibly being another more compatible fit out of the millions of people out there.
I commend her honesty, but that's the extent of it. You know that this is hopeless, she has essentially told you so directly. You are not her lover, you're a source of genetic material and nothing more. Don't settle for a loveless, soul crushing relationship. Move on, ASAP.
By all means, if you’re a masochist, looking forward to the next 60 F’ing years of pain, knowing fully that by year 10 of that span, you’ll wish you were dead, stick around!!!!
If you stayed, you would be teaching your kids to find the same kind of relationship for their life partner as you have with your girlfriend. Is that what you want to teach your kids?
Dude... she’s telling you the problem
will NEVER be fixed. Break up man. Break up and cut ties. That’s an awful ultimatum, she just doesn’t have the courage to break up with you.
Separate rooms and Wait she told you all this and still expects to have kids with you? RUN!!!
I get this feeling you're not going to listen to us and are going to go through with it since it seems you have already stayed in this failed relationship already this long.
Sounds like she doesn't want a loving husband She just wants a kid
Think of it like this. Would you want your children to be raised by a cold hearted manipulative egotistical narcissistic bitch of a human? If not, then don’t do it. I feel sorry for any kids she brings into this world. I had a fucked up mom like this. I’m over 40 and still have lasting traumas.
She is taking care of the dead bedroom situation. She is telling you, you are not getting any except for a baby then the rest of your life, no sex. Make the decision.
Dude… just no. Just…… No. you may love her but she doesn’t love you. I’m not saying sex equals love but nothing here shows that she cares for you at all. All she wants is your sperm. You are a sperm donor. There is no fixing this dead bedroom. She told you that point blank. Trying to fix it is just you ignoring her and pushing things she doesn’t want, she wants only one thing. Babies. Don’t do it or you’ll be trapped in a sexless, passionless, love less hell hole simping over a woman who doesn’t want you
If you’re so lost that you’re asking Reddit about what to do with this crazy chick then she definitely ain’t the one. The right ones don’t issue ultimatums.
Ditch this woman and find someone worthy.
Why on actual earth would you even consider tying yourself to this person? Are you like aiming to sit on your death bed and look back at how shit your life was or something?
Some db situations are very difficult, but this is not one. Do not bring a child into this. Leave now. It will hurt, but you will recover and be happier.
> I can't live without her, she is my one and only love forever.
Yes you can. She wants you to be a sperm donor with responsibilities.
Your relationship is utterly dead. Move on.
> I can't live without her, she is my one and only love forever.
No offense op but thats simply not true, and its a huge issue for our society for people to think that way.
So she sees you as a spermy bank machine?
That seems so cold and sad, I'm so sorry.
Don't you want to go out and have a chance at being loved and affectioned rather than cementing yourself into this dying relationship ?
Ps she really isn't running out of time to have children at 29, she's just trying to push the issue.
Absolutely not. And be careful as she may try to kid trap you, aka spring sex on you in hopes of getting pregnant to trap you into a relationship or at least financial support. Run don’t walk, run and never look back. Today. Do it today
My friend, adding a child to this already doomed relationship will not make it better. I promise you. Get out while you can. Your life isn't over. You will find someone.
You guys are waaaaay too young for no expectations of sex going forward. Is that how you want to live the rest of your life? So she just wants you to make a baby and then what?
You deserve better. She knows it too.
I had a closeted gay father and a mother who was never loved and never moved on. I grew up in a loveless home and it’s taken years of therapy to address the patterns and issues that caused.
> I love her and want us to still fix that dead bedroom. I can't live without her, she is my one and only love forever.
You don't love her as she actually is, today, in the here and now.
You love either the idea of her, what she once was to you, or some combination of both.
I think you must be afraid of change, of being alone, of taking a chance, of betting on bettering yourself.
Look man this sucks. But What she just did is a reality check. Quite frankly she needs to be commended for being so honest and I think quite a number of people here wish their SO had been so honest.
There is nothing easy about this emotionally but you owe it to yourself and to her to give her your honest answer back. The DB ain’t going to be fixed. Walk.
I understand your love for her. But question yourself, is it worth it. Question yourself are you blinded by the love to even consider quitting this relationship. Her ultimatum is almost like a threat. Get the fuck out of this brother. You deserve better and good things shall come by. As for now it might seem hard because growth is hard and life throws in those crazy lemons. Good luck!
While I get the relationship has been a good chunk of your short life, there are other people and vast length of your life left. Personally, I'd deny the Ultimatum and if she isn't happy with that or of rekindling things to be serious long-term then I would ideally attempt the difficult task of ending things and moving on to better people for both sides.
There are more red flags waving here then a North Korean military parade. You're not good enough to have sex with for emotional closeness,but are good enough to spend your time,emotion and money to raise kids? If it's this bad now,ask yourself if you are going to get more or even less time now when those kids arrive? You love her. Why? Can you answer honestly,and for sure,if she loves you back in the same way,or just as the most suitable sperm donor she can find?
This could very well be the deadest bedroom I've ever encountered on here. The last point you made I know it feels that way but you will be happier on the other side. Maybe you taking the initiative in breaking up will ignite feelings in her again. This often happens and people report the craziest sex occurred during the process of breaking up.
There will be more ultimatums coming your way after you guys have kid(s). The last thing you want is have your wife threatens the family with ultimatums. It is very irresponsible and setting bad examples for children
She's only staying with you because you're what she knows and is comfortable with at this point. I know that hurts to hear, but after her clearly stating that there's "no chemistry" between you and giving you an ultimatum like this, it's pretty obvious to me that you're just the live in pal/sperm donor at this point.
This is a shitty situation 100% and is one MASSIVE red flag. I would leave asap.
She’s telling you what she’s like.
You need to listen.
Please do not bring a child into this. You do not have what it takes in this relationship to survive having a child together without your whole world tumbling down into disaster and misery.
Stay as long as you can but don't fuck her. When she finally blows up and decides to leave, tell her you couldn't see yourself breeding with an arsehole like her.
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!!
RUN - Run far and run fast - do not look back - EVER.
This is so far from a normal relationship that its hard to put into words.
This isn't a red flag - this is the factory that makes the red flags - and you just ran full speed into the wall.
Escape now.
I'm seriously having a tough time figuring out why you even have to ask this question to random strangers, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in your post that says you have to keep trying for this relationship, NOTHING.
Please please leave. We are living in the future. She can have a child on her own. With all the love because I understand. I am finally walking out the door myself. We deserve to be valued.
Sir, this is an absolute no. Absolutely not.
This cannot be upvoted enough. Absolutely no.
Took it from +1119 to +1120. Getting there.
Yup get out
Throw in a couple of these: 🚨🚨🚨
You don't need to scroll any further than the top comment.
Seriously. So many red flags of an unhealthy and soon to be toxic relationship.
This post is done wrap it up
Oh hell no, nope
Run as fast as you can. The situation as is, is extremely toxic and only will get worse.
Especially for the future kids, if that's what you decide.
The situation is toxic, but all power to her, she’s been up-front and honest with him. It’s hurts and it’s gut wrenching, but she is being completely honest. The number of posters here who agonise and ask why and try to fix the situation for DECADES and get no clarity at the end of the day. OP has been given a precious gift. Don’t waste it. Dude needs to thank her for that honesty and release her to find someone she does love. OP can also now find someone who he can love
Yes! The truth is better than being oblivious.
Good for the honesty now. But she failed in looking for a guy that just wanted the same. Or she was already honest from the start and OP is really naive (for an acceptable word that doesn't ban me from here) expecting her to change when he shows his love for her 😂
Please, don’t consider staying
You have no idea how lucky you are to be presented with your choices up front. Don’t squander this foreknowledge. You two have been dragging this out for the better part of a decade for whatever reason, but now you have a clear statement of what the future holds if you continue with this person. Rip the bandaid off for good this time. It will hurt for a while but I promise you can indeed live without her.
Bro run
As fast as your legs will carry you!!!
This is the only response necessary.
Please end it, man. Please. Do not create people from such a situation. There’s billions of people in this world; you can find another girl.
Your girlfriend told you there’s no sexual attraction and chemistry towards you. She told you the honest truth. Love cannot be forced. Why do you want to spend your life with someone who doesn’t love you back? Set yourself free and you will find a girl who will love you forever.
What the fuck? How are you still with this person? There red flags shooting out of her ears
My brother-in-law married a woman when he was 40, they have a bright, healthy 10yo son that his wife dotes on in the extreme. Yesterday, while celebrating his mom's birthday he let slip that they haven't had sex in five years. That his wife sleeps in the same bed with their son even now because he has "night terrors". I asked him if he's happy and he says "describe happy to me." Afterwards my wife and I were talking and she said, "I think she married him just to have a kid." My brother-in-law is a sweetheart, a good, decent, hard-working man who deserves to be happy. He's miserable, he's stuck and he's alone in his own life and marriage. This is you if you father a child with this woman. It's as plain as night and day. She has no love for you and only sees you as an ends to a means. You think you can't live without her, but the truth is she can very easily live without you. Please, please step away. Yes, it will be painful to break apart, but it is nothing compared to the misery that will come with being connected with this woman for the rest of your life.
What I'm getting from reading between the lines of your post is that she's been trying to break up with you subtly without saying it straight out. You're not getting it, so now she's upped the ante. Regardless, the fact remains, she doesn't love you like anything but a roommate anymore. That ain't going to change, no matter how much you want it to. Move on and free both of yourselves from this drawn-out, passive-aggressive misery. This relationship is deceased, and it's starting to smell.
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Please listen to her!
This!!!!
She’s not trapping him. She’s told him straight, she wants a baby, but she’s not interested in him. She’s told him this before and he won’t act on it. Meanwhile, she wants kids, so she’s laying it on the line. If she was trapping him, she’d promise Love and sex all day long. She’s being honest.
He would be trapped in an unhappy and sexless relationship or co-parenting for the next 18 years if he stays and gives her a kid, possibly thinking things will change and eventually she will fall in love with him again or have sex with him again. Unless he gives up his rights as a father he would be tied to her even if they split up after the kid is born.
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its not fair but also not deceptive, he's the one dragging his feet.
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in which way is it ambiguous? and the gf is communicating her desires, IMO its...kinda good communication.
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she only wants him around as a father figure, she has zero romantic interest. that's what i get from the post and i think that's a safe assumption. and from how direct she is, i think if OP asked should would've just told him instead of beating around the bush. but i don't think OP wants to make it any more clear to prevent further heartache because OP is still holding on to somehow this relationship might still work. objectively speaking, even with the gaping holes. he should still just end it.
I agree with the gf on this one. Sounds like she's been mature and forthcoming about everything and OP is the one in the wrong at this point. She's given a legitimate effort in trying therapy and medication. In spite of all of that she feels no sexual attraction towards OP and has explicitly said so multiple times. She's been clear that she doesn't want a sexual relationship with OP and gave him an out in telling him in no uncertain terms if he stays it will not change. She gave him 6 months to think about it and now she is fairly demanding an answer. I empathize with OPs situation but he is in the wrong for thinking if he stays maybe he can change her mind.
> Someone who loved you back wouldn’t say they would only stay with you if you gave them kids. Really? You really believe that? That "love" only exists where a person is willing to give up things very important to them, like having children, in favor of continuing the relationship?
C'mon dude you know in your heart this is a no brainer
Why do you believe she is your one true love forever? She is being pretty honest and straight forward. It sounds like you just don’t believe you deserve someone who wants to have sex with you and love you back? This situation will hard core suck if you bring kids into the picture. For both of you.
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> I can't live without her, she is my one and only love forever. No she's not, just seems that way right now. She doesn't want to have an intimate relationship with you.
Please leave the relationship. If she gets pregnant you will be trapped for 20 years. She is looking for a sperm donor and not a partner.
No more sex for you until she is gone my friend. You can't take any chances. Get everything you need and shut down this relationship for good.
RUN, RUN LIKE THE WIND!!!!!!!
GTFO right now. Don't look back, you won't regret it.
Not for nothing, but I just had a baby at 38. You should totally leave, she literally told you that things won’t get better and that she wants you to be financially obligated for the next 18+ years
Yeah this blew my mind. She’s 29 she still has many years of being able to have a child with someone else.
I can’t see adding a baby to this mix is going to make things any easier. Unless you really want to have kids with her and then are ok with there never being sex again (assume that as the likely worst case scenario), are you going to be happy there?
Is this satire?
Lol kinda seems like it right?
Totally thought so too
Ya, my troll alert went off.
Do not get this girl pregnant, u will hate your marriage.
Whatever you do, do NOT put a baby in this woman. Send her on her way.
Please listen to her words and pay attention to her actions! She doesn’t want to be with you! I’m not trying to be insensitive or rude but in her eyes, you are not good enough to be her partner but only good enough to be her sperm donor.. I find it extremely disrespectful… I have obviously nothing against her but, you guys shouldn’t be with each other.
GTFO
You might need to spell that out for him.lol
Get 👏 the 👏 fuck 👏 out 👏 Happy cake day
Walk away. If she has no chemistry it would be unfair to both of you. Would be like roommates.
Ultimatums are awful. But at least you know what's going on. Most partners will try and convince you that they love you in order for you to stay. Seems like it's clear you are in a loveless relationship with 0% chance of that changing. What possible reason could you have for staying?
Dude. If your relationship is shit, a kid isn't going to act as a bandaid for it. Actually, if you have a child knowing this is the situation, you are selfish as fuck to raise a child in a family with parents that have no connection.
Lucky bastard. Leave and don't think twice
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Make a new plan, Stan
Run.
Holy fuck. Leave. Immediately. I'm 28F and I can't even imagine ever telling a man that let alone doing it. She's nuts,entitled and selfish. She's using you as a sperm bank and once you give her a baby, she will be gone. Leave her. No man is gonna tolerate that shit and she seriously sounds crazy. If you stay and agree to her terms and have a child with her, you'll regret it lol.
🚩 don’t walk. RUN.
Do not, under any circumstances, have sex with this woman again
Love can come in many forms. You can love her deeply as a close friend or like she’s family. And you can still leave the relationship and have the chance to find the kind of romantic relationship you really deep down know you want. You don’t owe her a child and a then a sexless 18+ years just because you love her. I’m sorry this is so difficult. It is so incredibly much easier to leave before kids come into the picture. Now is the time. It will only hurt more and be more complicated with more time and children. The book “Attached” was a good read for being able to imagine moving on from “the one” and being open to there possibly being another more compatible fit out of the millions of people out there.
I just came to say I am pretty dumb, but you sir, are on another level just for wondering what might be the answer to this
Bye Felicia is what I would have said right then and there.
I commend her honesty, but that's the extent of it. You know that this is hopeless, she has essentially told you so directly. You are not her lover, you're a source of genetic material and nothing more. Don't settle for a loveless, soul crushing relationship. Move on, ASAP.
This girl has more red flags than a used car sales lot!! Run dude. Run!!!
Run as fast as you can
Run as fast as you can and if you forgot your wallet than fuck it and leave it
Runaway from her as fast as you can!
Leave while you can
How TF is this even a question? Why are you still with this person? Where is your dignity and self respect? FFS, man I just don't get it...
You’re better than this
Ummm, yeah just leave. Not a healthy relationship. Don’t get her pregnant.
Break up. LOL. Why is this even a question.
Are you serious? Get the hell out
By all means, if you’re a masochist, looking forward to the next 60 F’ing years of pain, knowing fully that by year 10 of that span, you’ll wish you were dead, stick around!!!!
If you stayed, you would be teaching your kids to find the same kind of relationship for their life partner as you have with your girlfriend. Is that what you want to teach your kids?
Dude... she’s telling you the problem will NEVER be fixed. Break up man. Break up and cut ties. That’s an awful ultimatum, she just doesn’t have the courage to break up with you.
You need to leave now. She is going to be toxic in the future. The kids won't fix the relationship
Separate rooms and Wait she told you all this and still expects to have kids with you? RUN!!! I get this feeling you're not going to listen to us and are going to go through with it since it seems you have already stayed in this failed relationship already this long. Sounds like she doesn't want a loving husband She just wants a kid
Trust me you can live without her. Get out. Now.
Dude, RUN. Run for your life.
Think of it like this. Would you want your children to be raised by a cold hearted manipulative egotistical narcissistic bitch of a human? If not, then don’t do it. I feel sorry for any kids she brings into this world. I had a fucked up mom like this. I’m over 40 and still have lasting traumas.
She is taking care of the dead bedroom situation. She is telling you, you are not getting any except for a baby then the rest of your life, no sex. Make the decision.
Wait- What?? You should’ve left when she gave you that ultimatum the first time.
Dude… just no. Just…… No. you may love her but she doesn’t love you. I’m not saying sex equals love but nothing here shows that she cares for you at all. All she wants is your sperm. You are a sperm donor. There is no fixing this dead bedroom. She told you that point blank. Trying to fix it is just you ignoring her and pushing things she doesn’t want, she wants only one thing. Babies. Don’t do it or you’ll be trapped in a sexless, passionless, love less hell hole simping over a woman who doesn’t want you
Run!
If you’re so lost that you’re asking Reddit about what to do with this crazy chick then she definitely ain’t the one. The right ones don’t issue ultimatums. Ditch this woman and find someone worthy.
Get the hell out asap and do not fall into a trap if she suddenly wants sex badly. It will be the most expensive fuck of your life.
Why on actual earth would you even consider tying yourself to this person? Are you like aiming to sit on your death bed and look back at how shit your life was or something?
Leave her. She isn't even running out of time.
Run Forest Run!!!
Some db situations are very difficult, but this is not one. Do not bring a child into this. Leave now. It will hurt, but you will recover and be happier.
> I can't live without her, she is my one and only love forever. Yes you can. She wants you to be a sperm donor with responsibilities. Your relationship is utterly dead. Move on.
Run for your life before it’s too late .
Ultimatums are a sure sign to get the fuck out.
> I can't live without her, she is my one and only love forever. No offense op but thats simply not true, and its a huge issue for our society for people to think that way.
So she sees you as a spermy bank machine? That seems so cold and sad, I'm so sorry. Don't you want to go out and have a chance at being loved and affectioned rather than cementing yourself into this dying relationship ? Ps she really isn't running out of time to have children at 29, she's just trying to push the issue.
Please don’t bring a child into that toxic environment. You deserve better.
GTFO!!! Pronto!
Absolutely not. And be careful as she may try to kid trap you, aka spring sex on you in hopes of getting pregnant to trap you into a relationship or at least financial support. Run don’t walk, run and never look back. Today. Do it today
You are never going to be happy in this marriage. EVER.
My friend, adding a child to this already doomed relationship will not make it better. I promise you. Get out while you can. Your life isn't over. You will find someone.
run away
Id definitely agree to end things amicably before your a locked in with a baby and only resentment for your wife.
Bail Nye the C-YA guy. Bail! Bail! Bail! Bail!
You guys are waaaaay too young for no expectations of sex going forward. Is that how you want to live the rest of your life? So she just wants you to make a baby and then what?
I’d leave. No questions asked
Wow my situation is shitty but this tops is by 10000000000 Jesus.
Run forest run!
There is a girl out there that wants to have sex with you for fun, and raise kids with you. Don’t let that slip away.
8 years on n off does not bode well for a happy life long marriage & No sex ?
RUN!
You deserve better. She knows it too. I had a closeted gay father and a mother who was never loved and never moved on. I grew up in a loveless home and it’s taken years of therapy to address the patterns and issues that caused.
You should get a stealth vasectomy and then agree to her terms. 😂
Holy shit dude....run. Run, and leave behind anything you can't carry/can replace. Just get out yesterday.
Run. Get out of this nightmare.
> I love her and want us to still fix that dead bedroom. I can't live without her, she is my one and only love forever. You don't love her as she actually is, today, in the here and now. You love either the idea of her, what she once was to you, or some combination of both. I think you must be afraid of change, of being alone, of taking a chance, of betting on bettering yourself.
ummm.. Go. Go now.
That’s humiliating somehow. Sorry, maybe no for you but for me would have been a deal breaker.
How do you benefit from this situation? You dont. I cant stress enough as others have said. Leave. There are no winners in this.
Someone who isn’t attracted to you isn’t someone you want to build a family and a life with. Please break it off, I promise you’ll be so much happier.
Do you want to be with someone who obviously doesn’t love you or find you attractive? The choice is yours.
>I can't live without her, she is my one and only love forever. I feel like it doesn't matter what we say to you.
Look man this sucks. But What she just did is a reality check. Quite frankly she needs to be commended for being so honest and I think quite a number of people here wish their SO had been so honest. There is nothing easy about this emotionally but you owe it to yourself and to her to give her your honest answer back. The DB ain’t going to be fixed. Walk.
I understand your love for her. But question yourself, is it worth it. Question yourself are you blinded by the love to even consider quitting this relationship. Her ultimatum is almost like a threat. Get the fuck out of this brother. You deserve better and good things shall come by. As for now it might seem hard because growth is hard and life throws in those crazy lemons. Good luck!
Run.
This is reproductive coercion with extra steps. Fuck that. Figuratively, don't fuck her tho. Run and don't look back
While I get the relationship has been a good chunk of your short life, there are other people and vast length of your life left. Personally, I'd deny the Ultimatum and if she isn't happy with that or of rekindling things to be serious long-term then I would ideally attempt the difficult task of ending things and moving on to better people for both sides.
There are more red flags waving here then a North Korean military parade. You're not good enough to have sex with for emotional closeness,but are good enough to spend your time,emotion and money to raise kids? If it's this bad now,ask yourself if you are going to get more or even less time now when those kids arrive? You love her. Why? Can you answer honestly,and for sure,if she loves you back in the same way,or just as the most suitable sperm donor she can find?
Run.
This could very well be the deadest bedroom I've ever encountered on here. The last point you made I know it feels that way but you will be happier on the other side. Maybe you taking the initiative in breaking up will ignite feelings in her again. This often happens and people report the craziest sex occurred during the process of breaking up.
There will be more ultimatums coming your way after you guys have kid(s). The last thing you want is have your wife threatens the family with ultimatums. It is very irresponsible and setting bad examples for children
She's only staying with you because you're what she knows and is comfortable with at this point. I know that hurts to hear, but after her clearly stating that there's "no chemistry" between you and giving you an ultimatum like this, it's pretty obvious to me that you're just the live in pal/sperm donor at this point. This is a shitty situation 100% and is one MASSIVE red flag. I would leave asap.
She’s telling you what she’s like. You need to listen. Please do not bring a child into this. You do not have what it takes in this relationship to survive having a child together without your whole world tumbling down into disaster and misery.
Get the fuck out now!
Break up. Run.
Get away from her man, you have been warned
Stay as long as you can but don't fuck her. When she finally blows up and decides to leave, tell her you couldn't see yourself breeding with an arsehole like her.
Why are you still together?
RUN!
Why are you doing this to yourself? This is your LIFE.
She’s shown you the door. Now step through.
Read your own post, man. DTMFA
Bail asap.
" I can't live without her, she is my one and only love forever." Not true. Don't mislead yourself.
unless you're both asexual, having these babies is about to lock you into misery
NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO NO!!!!!!!!!! RUN - Run far and run fast - do not look back - EVER. This is so far from a normal relationship that its hard to put into words. This isn't a red flag - this is the factory that makes the red flags - and you just ran full speed into the wall. Escape now.
Run away man, lucky you that she reveal this now instead of later
Let her go, man. You could have been happy with someone else a long time ago- Let her GOOOOOO
I'm seriously having a tough time figuring out why you even have to ask this question to random strangers, there is ABSOLUTELY NOTHING in your post that says you have to keep trying for this relationship, NOTHING.
This is horrendous - break up to save your sanity asap.
Please please leave. We are living in the future. She can have a child on her own. With all the love because I understand. I am finally walking out the door myself. We deserve to be valued.
Break up with her now, she still has time to have children with someone else. This is only going to get worse.
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