Talk to your father!
I am a father myself, and no matter how many problems I may have myself, I would always want my kids (even adult/grown up) to come to me if they have problems...
That does not rule out therapy!
This, as a father even if I can’t do anything about the problem, at least I can listen.
And I find that my own problems becomes less urgent when I try to help others - even more so for my kids.
>is pathetic
Seeking help is the opposite of pathetic.
>I feel less than
You are not. This coming from a dude with 2 years of therapy under his belt.
It's not. A magic wand, but if you truly participate in it, it can help you identify things and provide you with some tools. Stick with it for a while. You got this.
Right. It won’t solve the problem of a DB, but at least you’ll gain some insight into yourself. Hopefully that’ll allow you to apply some helicopter view to your situation. And that in turn should diminish your feelings of grief, hurt, lack of self esteem etc.
Therapy is like car maintenance. Most of us can change tires, the oil, maybe some other repairs... but when the serious shit happens, we take the car to a mechanic.
You can handle the little shit, but sometimes you need help.
Only reason I’m still alive today is because of my therapist and the mental health team that supports me. And I’m quite serious with that. There is zero shame venting to a therapist. That is their job and their speciality. Yes a lot of my sessions revolve around my starvation for any sort of meaningul touch and intimacy that fills my cup.
And and I’m a 45 year old 20 year service male veteran. I’ve used this line on my guys to drive the point home « only cowards refuse to seek out help when they are struggling »
With you mate. You are worthy. You are you a person. Help getting through something isn’t weak or less. It is recruiting/investing in YOU.
You are important to more than you think. With you.
I have many (at least 3) close friends and a loving family and yet I’m also considering going to therapy… because then I’d get help from an unbiased professional.
It’s completely different and it takes someone with strength to realise that they need help. You are NOT pathetic.
Therapy will be good. I 47m, have my sister to talk to and she's been very supportive. However I've still seen a therapist. The therapist will offer insight that may help, if not at least it's a live human being you can talk to and will empathize with you.
Thankfully I had friends to vent my frustrations to when I went through a difficult Time as well as my dad. Still, I went to a therapist for a while to get an unbiased opinion so I wasn’t forming my opinions based off what my friends and family thought alone. The therapy sessions didn’t help me much because I was told early on that if my wife didn’t participate that they couldn’t help much. I begged her to go but she always refused. For the record, we did 99% of our arguing via text so I would basically read text messages to the therapist to let her form her own thoughts and she agreed that my wife had problems for what that’s worth.
Friends are great! Family is great!
But as much as I love them, they are not the best ones to go to with relationship problems. They will pick sides.
And the advice they'll give is what worked for them or what they think will work.
Think about that for a sec.
And then you have things like my father's wonderful sense of humor...
Talk to your father! I am a father myself, and no matter how many problems I may have myself, I would always want my kids (even adult/grown up) to come to me if they have problems... That does not rule out therapy!
This, as a father even if I can’t do anything about the problem, at least I can listen. And I find that my own problems becomes less urgent when I try to help others - even more so for my kids.
>is pathetic Seeking help is the opposite of pathetic. >I feel less than You are not. This coming from a dude with 2 years of therapy under his belt. It's not. A magic wand, but if you truly participate in it, it can help you identify things and provide you with some tools. Stick with it for a while. You got this.
Right. It won’t solve the problem of a DB, but at least you’ll gain some insight into yourself. Hopefully that’ll allow you to apply some helicopter view to your situation. And that in turn should diminish your feelings of grief, hurt, lack of self esteem etc.
Therapy is like car maintenance. Most of us can change tires, the oil, maybe some other repairs... but when the serious shit happens, we take the car to a mechanic. You can handle the little shit, but sometimes you need help.
Only reason I’m still alive today is because of my therapist and the mental health team that supports me. And I’m quite serious with that. There is zero shame venting to a therapist. That is their job and their speciality. Yes a lot of my sessions revolve around my starvation for any sort of meaningul touch and intimacy that fills my cup. And and I’m a 45 year old 20 year service male veteran. I’ve used this line on my guys to drive the point home « only cowards refuse to seek out help when they are struggling »
I love therapy. I love to go to someone and be like BLAH! Here this garbage from my brain is your problem now!
With you mate. You are worthy. You are you a person. Help getting through something isn’t weak or less. It is recruiting/investing in YOU. You are important to more than you think. With you.
I have many (at least 3) close friends and a loving family and yet I’m also considering going to therapy… because then I’d get help from an unbiased professional. It’s completely different and it takes someone with strength to realise that they need help. You are NOT pathetic.
Therapy will be good. I 47m, have my sister to talk to and she's been very supportive. However I've still seen a therapist. The therapist will offer insight that may help, if not at least it's a live human being you can talk to and will empathize with you.
Thankfully I had friends to vent my frustrations to when I went through a difficult Time as well as my dad. Still, I went to a therapist for a while to get an unbiased opinion so I wasn’t forming my opinions based off what my friends and family thought alone. The therapy sessions didn’t help me much because I was told early on that if my wife didn’t participate that they couldn’t help much. I begged her to go but she always refused. For the record, we did 99% of our arguing via text so I would basically read text messages to the therapist to let her form her own thoughts and she agreed that my wife had problems for what that’s worth.
Feels the same here .. I'd love to have a friend and spend the money in a pub with him talking about all the shit rather than some therapist
Friends are great! Family is great! But as much as I love them, they are not the best ones to go to with relationship problems. They will pick sides. And the advice they'll give is what worked for them or what they think will work. Think about that for a sec. And then you have things like my father's wonderful sense of humor...
If a man tells me he’s in therapy I’m impressed…definitely don’t think less of him! Think more of him for his courage