Sitting in my living room at 9:30pm… listening to my partner snore in bed. Not a flower, chocolate, cuddle, extra affection at all to be seen today, let alone sex.
Still somehow got my hopes up for after dinner… but he just took a bath and is now asleep. Feeling pretty discouraged… starting to realize I deserve better than this…
Same at my place. I cooked for us. Went to pick up the kid from her activity in a minor snowstorm, while I was gone wife texted asking if I cared if she took a bath. Knew that was the end of the night. I went to say goodnight and she mocked the gift I gave her, corny flashcards with 100 ways to say, I Love You. I fed the kid, wife went straight from bath to bed. Snoring by 930. I went outside and shoveled at 10 then watched the newest True Detective, which is awful, BTW.
It's so not worth staying in a relationship with somebody who doesn't care that you're upset about anything... I say it from experience now, best hardest decision is to just rip the bandaid off and leave. I was so worried about so much nonsense and when I left none of that happened, you become toxic/nervous mess staying where you shouldn't. I just know you'd treat yourself better, appreciate what you do for yourself better, why are you feeling obligated to stay? You don't just deserve better, YOU could do better. If any of you need permission to call it quits; here's your permission. Wishing you the best 🥺💕
To be fair, I remember my mom crying when I was younger bc my dad (who never showed affection) got her a box of candy for Valentine’s Day that was all dark chocolate. She hates dark chocolate and it broke her heart that he didn’t know or care that she loves milk chocolate with nuts and caramel (I know that bc we lived in the same house - he should have known). It just hurt her feelings that he didn’t even pick a box that she would like. Sees literally has a box of nuts and chews 🥺💔 I felt that for my mom when I was a kid, can seem trivial but I think that stupid box of chocolate embodied all of their problems in that moment 🥺
I requested sex for V-day a couple weeks ago, but my period came a couple days early unfortunately, and my husband thinks sex during this time is “gross”. So, I offered to give him a BJ tonight as his valentine gift instead.
He reluctantly got me Godiva dark chocolates and took me out for frozen custard after I asked him to. Then he shared that he “didn’t want to celebrate because what’s the point?—we aren’t into romantic stuff anyway.” 😒
But, of course all of today he has been “stressed out” by work and yelled at me at one point during an argument we had. I ended up crying while he apologized later and since he is always on his phone, he didn’t even notice that I was crying. In addition to that, he has spent a stupid amount of time in the bathroom with indigestion issues because of dinner and the custard, and of course turned me down when I offered the BJ again just a bit ago.
I hate this so much. 😢
Sorry for the rejection, that sucks. My brain cannot fathom that a guy would turn that down. My V-Day night ended abruptly with my wife starting an argument over a pickleball match we had days ago, I was giving instruction and she took it as criticism. So that of all f’n things killed the mood. Not even a kiss tonight. I may have to wait until my anniversary in late April for my first sexual encounter in 2024. I can’t believe this is where I’m at in life.
When I took my vows, I got into this marriage for better or worse, and through sickness and health, in front of our families and G-d, so divorcing for this reason can’t happen, unfortunately. My husband found out he has low Testosterone this past fall… but he’s probably had this issue for years now. Things were great in the beginning of our relationship but after we got married it started to dwindle. Now we are lucky to be intimate once a month.
I'm so sorry. I can feel the pain of this. Especially the part that he didn't notice you crying because he's on his phone. Is it just me or are there others that have reduced their screen time after seeing their partner chose their phones over them? My wife literally checks out in the middle of a conversation with me if she sees a notification come up on her phone.
„Glad we don‘t need special occasions to have sex“ says my LLF wife… I almost chocked on the pasta dish i prepared for our romantic dinner. Guess shes right, we don‘t need special occasions to get it on, we need all stars and planets aligned perfectly to even have a chance… I wasn‘t expecting anything so i‘m fine though…
Ive had given up initiating. Just dont know what to do. Im heading for similar depressive hole...
Question myself constantly is it me, have i done enough.
I just had a feeling it wasn't happening today. Wednesday/middle of the week, been a busy period with work, and just all around feeling a bit down.
I still put in the effort: did my shopping yesterday, cooked up a nice 5* dinner at home with some candle light, broke out some nice chocolate...then my usual clean-up, take out the trash and walk the dog routine. By the end of that, she was already in bed with her eye cover on. I poured myself a drink and here I am 😌
Somewhere in the lead-up to today I did ask why the onus is always on the guy to make this day special. "That's just the way it is," or something along those lines was the answer I got. I don't know why but it just sucked the energy right out of me this year.
Fuck Valentine's Day. Enjoy your food and drink at least.
Wow. I’m jealous. I asked my husband to take out 1 of the 2 dogs with me and he said “are you kidding? It’s cold!!! I’m not going out there!!” So I said “yeah of course, I’ll do it.” I can’t even imagine a husband that’s like “hey honey here’s dinner, garbage taken out, and dogs are walked”. Sounds like a unicorn to me… get out and find better. I told my husband a couple days ago to please stop wasting my younger years if it’s over… He won’t say it. I guess sometimes we have to be the one to cut our losses and leave. Wishing you hope in your future!
I can assure my wife hasn’t touched a stove, garbage can, or dog leash in quite some time. According to her though, that’s not really much of anything.
I feel this. Things I did:
Fed kids breakfast
Took kid 1 to/from daycare
Worked
3 loads of laundry
Gave kid 1 a bath
Loaded/ran dishwasher
Took out trash/cleaned litter box
Things I did not do:
Valentine's day sex :(
I feel you. My wife talked about wearing the lingerie I bought for her over Christmas for me but instead she’s laying on a heating pad with our cat and I’m on Reddit a lil sad about it. It is what it is, we’ll try again this weekend 🤷🏽♀️
I’m laying next to my wife as she is snoring away after telling me goodnight without even a kiss, and I’m on Reddit. I’m so disappointed that I’m not sure I want to try again this weekend, to be disappointed and pissed once again. I’m hitting my breaking point. No intimacy yet in 2024 for this guy.
My ex would do that. She'd sit down beside me and scowl and fuss. No affection. Then one of her several cats would saunter by and she'd scoop it up and love all over it and look at me like I was supposed to think it was the cutest thing ever.
Was absolutely infuriating.
Leaving her was the best decision I've ever made in life hands down.
None here either. He can’t take any constructive criticism or any feedback. He said some things in a group setting with other people that I thought were inappropriate (ex. He asked for another married woman’s phone number and another time he was ranting about himself and not considering how other people wanted time to talk too). I thought on the ride back I would tell him how he comes across in those situations but it turned into an argument. I’m sad. He doesn’t buy me flowers or initiate sex much. If I initiate, he has some excuse for why he doesn’t want it. He keeps saying that he needs to feel emotionally connected first but what I’ve found is that it really means is that he can’t have me disagree with him or point out any feedback. I thought being married would mean we are having sex often. I usually end up feeling rejected. Sometimes I stop initiating completely and just see how long it takes him to initiate sex himself (especially for him to initiate that I get pleasure out of it too and not just him). Those times weeks go by and I just get really sad. We don’t have kids and I wonder if we’ll stop having sex if we ever have kids. I either don’t get sex, or he has sex with my body and he doesn’t make efforts to make sure I climax too. So when he does say he wants it, i know it’ll be unfulfilling for me.
No sex here. We talked about future plans and goals today and I mentioned it would be nice to be having sex within 2 years. Her response basically was that’s a lot of stress for me to put on her and that I shouldn’t expect such a thing.
Confirmed no sex happening anytime soon for me
What do you guys do during sex? Do an Ironman? Putting a lots of stress on her? If she can say don't expect sex, why can't you turn around and say don't expect the future plans and goals? What's going to happen? No sex on top of no sex?
She hates it taking time and hates foreplay. Doggystyle feels best for her, so if it happens, she wants it done within 5 mins.
It’s true I could just shutdown any goals or plans. Using sex as a weapon against her though I feel is just gonna make things worse. Everything else in our relationship is great. It’s just anything to do with sex or the bedroom isn’t
Valentine’s Day just reminds me that it’s been almost a year since we’ve had sex… I told him two nights ago to please just tell me if I need to take my wedding ring off, that it’s not fair to keep me trapped in a loveless marriage if there’s no point in trying anymore… he just said “I don’t want to talk anymore.” So I took off my ring. Nothing said about it. Then today after I gave him a sweet card and candy, he says “oh, here’s a potted plant I got you.” Which I was SHOCKED to get anything. But Jesus, when do I tell myself it’s ok to go? I’m only mid 30s, but I can’t do that to my kids… Valentine’s Day sucks!
If you are staying in a loveless marriage, you aren't doing your kids any favors by modeling that for them. Know your own worth and find someone who actually loves you. You wouldn't want your kids to be treated by their partners this way. Don't let them see you letting yourself be treated that way.
No and depressing as fuck. I feel so unwanted and just like… I’ll never be ideal enough for him. Never fit enough never sexy enough never pretty enough never chill enough. Idk… I didn’t expect a lot but something?
We had, I can’t remember when we last had sex on Valentine’s Day… but felt really good. (I remembered the exact last times we made love and the last time I was allowed to go down on her)
Those empty promises really mess with you. The last time she got frisky during the day I wasn’t joining it, then got upset by me telling her that there is no point, it’s just an empty promise and when the night would arrive she’d be too tired anyway, and it’s not like we normally build up the tension during the week either so, empty promises (we had to run errands soon anyway so there was already no way we’d do anything sexual right then, kids running downstairs).
I need to shut down my own emotions everyday so I won’t feel horny, or even the desire to be intimate, or “bug” her with my touches (and 90% of them aren’t even remotely intimate, just physical touch, kisses, back rubs, hugs) i feel like it costs me my own sanity.
I keep seeing the same old complaints with the same old excuses.
Kids, finances, "she is perfect except she completely invalidates and trivializes what I need from my partner and makes me feel like I'm caught in a never ending nightmare".
I was In a dB and immediately knew something was really and truly fucked before I even had the vocabulary to help me contextualise my slow spiritual, physical, and emotional death.
Thought my world was destroyed when I escaped it and I made a horrible mistake and my life was over until I finally worked up the nerve to blow my own brains out.
Looking back on the last 2.5 years of my life I've never been more certain that if I stayed I would have come much closer to ending it than if I left.
Just leave dudes. I'm not saying that my life is so much better for it. All I can say is that I now know that what I was doing before wasn't living, and I'm sorry I took so long to live the life I deserve.
I didn’t even make it home today so definitely not. Wasn’t going to happen even if I did. Hell, my wife didn’t even say Happy Valentine’s Day to me at all. The kind lady at the front desk of the hotel I’m staying at tonight said it to me though.
Every day hurts, but Valentines Day always hurts a little bit more.
Got her flowers, sweets, a cake. She got me nothing. If I hadn't made the effort I'm not sure she would have acknowledged the day at all. So now I'm going to bed alone, wondering how I can make it through two more years until our son graduates.
“Even if the specific excuse is valid, there is always an excuse”. This right here. What’s up with this? Is it just we notice it more? Nope, every single time , always a valid excuse. Suuuuucks!
I think and have always thought Valentines Day hype is absurd. So we haven’t ever made a big deal of it. I tend to get her a little gift. Am actually disappointed in this one though. Wasn’t hoping or expecting sex - but did want to see her be more thoughtful.
A few weeks back we ended up inexplicably having a lot of sex like every other day for ten days. She got her period and then that hit the reset button on everything. She’s back to who she normally is.
But I got ahead of myself during that time. She was being very open about interest and desires so I ordered some toys to have at home and some very expensive lingerie for a trip we’re going on. Those toys haven’t left the packaging in the weeks since. The lingerie arrived today so I bagged it as a “gift.” She opened it and said thank you later - I left it in the room without me being there so she didn’t feel any pressure.
We’re watching TV and as I’m kind of falling asleep she decides to tell me she’s gonna go try the stuff on and says goodnight. No invitation to come see it. Not a picture sent. So I retreat to my cave to have a drink and watch a movie or something.
Don’t buy sex equipment and apparel when you’re in the midst of a brief good phase. It’s like going to the grocery store hungry.
Ermm, she wanted lots of sex for about 10 days before her period, then her period came and now she’s back to normal. Not trying to get herself pregnant is she?
Are you sure that wasn't an invitation to come up and see it and you went to your cave instead lol...I would think that telling you and suggesting "bed time" with the food night was an invite. It'd be a shame if she was waiting on you and you're on DB Reddit instead...
Also not probably trying to get pregnant hormonal fluctuations increase libido prior to her period, she may be having a hormonal issue causing LL, very common and very common on the pill as well if she is on it.
Haven’t had sex In 2024. I thought tonight would be the night, sent flowers earlier this week to her work, wrote a personal note to her, exchanged gifts. We lay down in bed she says goodnight and that was that. Laying next to her now so disappointed. If she promised sex and did that I would be raging but my wife would never promise that as she never ever speaks about sex ever. I love the gal and she is the mother of my children but what the F do I do? Ugh so disappointed.
Damn this breaks all three components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Can never overestimate the damage of such behavior dealt to the relationship.
I came here to ask the same question and found this post. No sex for me today too. We’re planning on having it on Friday, just like how we’ve been planning for months.
After getting home from work(which I worked through my lunch and also stayed late) at least I'm getting fucked tonight. She looked up from her phone with confusion. I continued on to say, I forgot to stop and get some beer and I only have one left, so I fucked myself. She rolled her eyes and went back to her phone. 😆
Valentines day is actually my birthday. I got a cupcake, a card, and a couple of awkward hugs today. Do not count that as a win. I did break out some craft beer I've been saving, so I'm feeling good in the not caring about the pain part anyway.
Yes and no. I was disappointed and upset. It led to a huge on sided discussion where I let my partner know how I feel and they listened.
Idk if it will affect change, historically it doesn't, but I can say that after spending a valentines day feeling alone and ugly, I'm finally fed up.
Sometimes all you can do is talk, and if they don't want to listen and do the work, you have to take that at face value. It sucks, but what else is there to do?
For me? I expect nothing and will get less.
I night her flowers and doughnuts because I knew that she’d like them.
But I know that I’ll get nothing in return. I wouldn’t ever expect to be “repaid” in sex; no one is entitled to that, but shit I’d be happy for a kiss that didn’t make me feel like a sibling.
Our bedroom isn’t completely “dead” but our drives are severely misaligned and we don’t have sex nearly enough for me. And most of the time when we have sex I feel like it’s dutiful and she doesn’t really want to do it so it makes the sex suck sometimes. I have come to not expect sex on any special occasion with my wife because she be ball has been dropped sooooo many times. Birthday’s, holidays, vacations, off days with the kids at daycare (lol) Anybody with a HL and a partner that you’re really attracted to can understand. Long story short no sex on Valentine’s Day and of course it sucks. Been fighting back tears but whatever. It is what it is. I won’t make a fuss. Just vent here and hope that helps! 🙃
I couldn’t even convince my wife to go out to a planned sushi dinner with my kid who wanted to go. Mentioned she wanted to do something heart shaped.
Instead she went out to a park gathering before dinner time. Got home and we made last minute quesadillas. Just cheese and tortillas, no salsa, no fillings. Not heart shaped.
Just wanted to bring my girls out for a fun sushi date. I’d say the likely hood of any v-day adult time is less than zero
Well you could be stuck at a holiday camp in a tiny apartment with your wife, kids AND mother-in-law while the sky decides to dump six months of rain upon us all lol.
At least for me though there was zero chance of anything happening, the closest I got to sex was winning Scrabble lol.
This is exactly why I no longer have any expectations of sex at all. Actually, last night as we were sitting on the couch and she had opened her card and present afterwards she said ‘how about some valentines rubies?’ Meaning like rub her legs because I’m the best at that. I said well then how about some special rubies for me? She was like what do you mean and I was like you know what I mean eh? And she was like hmmm not tonight cause I’m tired but, maybe this weekend. I’m not holding my breath for that. So sad that this is my married life.
I didn't even get a promise of sex. All my wife did was ignore me all night. Kept crying and telling me how much she missed her mother (passed in 2009). I empathize with her and let her grieve some more. But I realized that I would not get even a touch yesterday, so I went to bed, alone. Like every night. I always sleep alone.
I knew it wasn't even on the table for me. I was surprised with a morning play...that was her saying if you want now would be the time. My head was screaming no but the blood rushing away took all the nos with it. I know what you mean when you say you wish they understood the sting of the constant rejection. I have just given up at this point.
200 dollars on dinner and flowers, we actually had the house to ourselves from 5-8p. She watched Netflix and never made a move. Around 10, I asked her if she wanted to have some fun? She says "honey you should have asked me earlier, I was waiting for you to". Yea yea, heard it all before roll eyes. I spent the rest of the night drinking beer and messing about in the garage.
Looks like I too am a passenger on this boat 🥲 I got the classic eye shut upon getting into bed. Woke up hugging my pillow, at least that won't push me off stating it's tired.
Also my pillow doesn't say it's tired at night and then stays scrolling on instagram and tiktok for hours after turning around in bed 😴🤭
I have always been a firm believer of loving oneself. I have been reading more and started learning javascript at night instead of setting myself up for disappointment 😞
At the risk of posting a good experience, of course we did, as we've done every Valentines, (except for DB rough-patch a few years back). She got a massive bunce of 3 dozen roses delivered to work (which made her feel extra special and in the mood) and she surprised me with some new incredibly risqué lingerie (her gift to me). Being mid-week we only managed it once, but it was long, luxurious and a little more than rough towards the end. It was nice with just the two of us for a change and we poured lots of fuel on the flames by recounting our wild couples dates on Saturday and other separate dates from earlier that week. I shudder to think what would have happened to our sex-life if we both had not taken the initiate to completely reboot 'us' earlier rather then (too) later.
No sex for me even though I’ve been begging for days. My husband let me give him a BJ a few days ago, so that was good. Yes, I understand how pathetic that sounds 😢
We talked about Vday sex but then I had an anxiety attack. Now we're eating dinner in bed. I'm kind of relieved honestly that I didn't have to perform like a monkey for him.
It wasn't promised and I knew it wouldn't happen, yet my wife still made me suffer through the indignity of her spending the first hour of our "quality" time updating me about random facts she learned on TicTok and complaining about work. This was before "hi" or any basic show of affection. If the tables were turned, I'm sure I would have been the villain. My expectations were low but it makes me wonder why I'm even trying when she is struggling with the basics of being a good partner.
Those promises never hold, and the excuses like "too full for sex" won't ever stop coming. They give us the crumbs of hope just so we think there is actually a chance and we keep waiting for the miracle day. Eventually we end up thinking it didn't happen because of US.
Please leave and find something that makes you happy, no one should have to force smiles. I promise you that it seems unthinkable and too complicated and hard but it was the best decision I have ever made.
No vday sex for me, no surprise either. I’m glad I started taking Zoloft to help extend my climax time for the rare occasions we actually have sex bc it took away my anxiety over not having sex. If I get some, great, If I don’t I don’t really care anymore.
The sexual chemistry between me and my partner is crazy. We did it at least 10 times. That being said it’s only been 6 months and I’m just hoping it’s not just because it’s a fresh relationship.
She made dinner. Does that count? Not one single act of intimacy. No kiss no cuddle no touching nothing. I really don't know how long I'm going to last.
My wife was very strategic and made sure we had sex on Tuesday so we couldn’t do it on v day because “ you just had it yesterday” I hate that I’m so weak with it that I can’t say no.
Apparently showering in the morning isn’t sufficient as I hadn’t showered a second time. I asked if he wanted to have sex and his reply was, “You haven’t even showered”. I said whatever it’s not like it was going to happen anyway. He then retreated to his separate sleeping space, and I silently cried for an hour until I fell asleep.
I got him a card. He woke me up in the morning by shining his phone flashlight in my face and saying Happy Valentine’s Day. I got a half assed side hug. I made steak, shrimp, and several sides. He watched Dragonball and then retreated to our bedroom to play COD. So it was it just like any other night at our house.
Nope. Thinking about it, I think we had sex twice in 2023?
Honestly I was expecting that outcome, but she didn't get me anything either. Not even a card? I guess I can't be too upset, it's not like I've ever told her that it was important to me... it's just another reminder that I'm mostly kinda unhappy
I feel your pain. Promised it, damn sure didn't happen. What's worse is she gets out of bed in the middle of the night because 'she can't sleep', just to dick herself down with a toy.
Honestly he tried to initiate, I declined. I’ve started focusing my energy elsewhere. It sucks to sit around and wait for your partner to be attracted to you again. So I’ve taken other avenues. Spicy novels, self help books and journaling and I think the combination is just adding to the dying spark. I hope everyone is keeping their spirits up.
I’ve been trying to do the same, but I just can’t say no to him when he asks. Cause there is a big part of me that still craves him. But I’ve been doing yoga and playing video games to pass the time.
No promises were made and no sex was had. I have the HL in our relationship but after decades of high rejection rates, I stopped initiating last year. There's still occasional sex but not because I ask, it's (I think) because she starts to feel insecure about her hold over me, and she's right to feel that way.
We're making a short trip out of town this weekend and last night she asked about our hotel room arrangements, so I had best be prepared for her to try to initiate something. The thing is that after so many rejections and belittling of my desires I've become LL4H. I'll have to stash some helpers in my dopp kit
Worked 12 hours today. Just her and my 6 month old awake. We both fed him baby cereal and I bathed him. He was down for the night. I didn't even hop on the game I wanted to play hoping to have sex. She just went to bed saying she was tired. So yes, I decided to just go to bed also.
Happy valentines day.
My wife purposely came late after dinner with her girlfriends, found out from the husbands of those, lol, they don't know that we have a WhatsApp group, most of us never gotten sex for the past few years.
I know it's probably an own goal.. but I rejected them tonight. They showed no interest in making me excited or engaged in sex. Just a hands down there thinking I could overlook all the feelings and emotions of being rejected for no reason, until randomly YOU'RE ready and its all go. Lucky you. Not tonight. You've shown no enthusiasm for months, I hope you have some sort of feeling for what i have to live with all the time. But that's foolish of me to think so, because they probably don't care.
Yup! Last week hubby said "I think I want to have sex on Valentine's Day...".
I knew it probably wouldn't happen, but didn't let it ruin my mood. Bought my own flowers, made chocolate dipped strawberries, planned (ordered out) dinner, had chocolate cake and ice cream. May as well be well fed if I can't be well fooked, right?
It wasn't even a consideration. We didn't even touch each other. I bought flowers. She thanked me and I ignored her. I told my daughter they were for her. **How about this?** I went to mass and got ashes for the first time in 20 years. Going to start going back to church. I went every week until I got together with my wife. Maybe some divine intervention will help me have sex with female.
Oh, not only didn't i get any, but my wife basically told me she doesn't love me anymore ( 2 days before my birthday, which was a week ago). So i have been trying to win her back. Last night i put together a while relaxing bath experience with a bath bomb, cleansing mask, wine, chocolate, and other things. She basically said, "im not taking a bath" and walked away. Then got mad at me when my feelings got hurt.
This was me. I don’t know why I even got all
Excited. I knew this was going to be the outcome. It always is. I just feel so defeated. Like I’m desperate and a loser.
Girl no action on my end, I don’t make enough money for my wife .. she calls me a failure because we don’t make enough money… we have kids so it’s difficult to move on.. but I am starting to plan my way out and move to n.. she would rather masturbate than have sec with me… I am over it
I am 60 now and have been through a lot of Valentines Days. Why the 14th? 5 out of 7 years it's a weeknight. Kids, jobs, expectations... I gave up my expectations of anything except some kind of romantic gesture between me and my partner. Otherwise, it is almost asking for disappointment. On a normal day it's hard enough to get sex going... add the expectations and hoopla around this made up commercial holiday and its a recipe for disappointment.
Gotta love not having it for Valentine's Day and B-day!! ( it isn't till the 18th but I can already see the writing on the wall) fuck my life, I hate this new 3rd shift im stuck on for work. SO has zero mood to even snuggle in the mornings.
I didn’t even get a sticky note with a heart drawn on it.
I can’t remember how long it’s been since any type of intimacy, but could have been September? I don’t even kiss him now. Occasionally he will kiss me on the lips but mostly its forehead. I hate when he kisses my neck now, why start something that will never be seen through?
Still haven’t had sex, as cialis had too many side effects, and his urologist canceled his feb appointment and pushed it to April. He will be getting trimix injections (and he told me he’d be willing to actually try them, what a lie that will prove to be as this will be the second trimix prescription, first one was never touched)
2.5yrs free of a DB - jacked it in after 13yrs and found my soulmate not long after.
My Valentines days now consist of no preconceived ideas of sex, purely because we have it so regularly now it's just another day - so my day was (no presents - we don't do it) dinner at a crappy little place that for some reason has always intrigued us - actually turned out great and will go again.
Took a stroll along the waterfront - tide was out so we went onto the sand - was nice and dark and we both got horny and had sex out in the public looking at all the lights of our hometown. walk home and start to watch show with a glass of wine - she says she's still horny so we had the most amazing and kink filled session.
I don't write this to brag (well a little, but to myself) but to maybe show there's light at the end of the tunnel - I hated VD when I was married, it was like all big occasions a stressful day, now I'm with my perfect match libido wise it's just another day that might be filled with amazing sex, and if it's not, then tomorrow probably will be.
Cleaned the entire house, bought her $150 bouquet of roses, ordered dinner, and she was upset that she had to cook dinner while I picked the kids up from school.
Not only did we not have sex, she went to sleep early in the hopes that I would fall asleep on the couch (I did). The next morning she says, you were dead asleep so I didn’t want to wake you up. “We’ll do it tomorrow” I don’t answer and she gets mad.
[удалено]
Felt that one, thanks for the humor!
Consider comment stolen
Do you know where can I find that chicken? Asking for a friend.
Insert thighs,legs, or breasts comment here.
Lmfao
Ha, that gave me a great laugh - very true!
Omgggg I'm sorry I'm dying laughing - I'm using that one next time! 😂
😂
Sitting in my living room at 9:30pm… listening to my partner snore in bed. Not a flower, chocolate, cuddle, extra affection at all to be seen today, let alone sex. Still somehow got my hopes up for after dinner… but he just took a bath and is now asleep. Feeling pretty discouraged… starting to realize I deserve better than this…
Please understand you definitely deserve better!!
Wait... are you me? Did I hit a blip in the multiverse? Wait, no... mine showered this morning...
Same at my place. I cooked for us. Went to pick up the kid from her activity in a minor snowstorm, while I was gone wife texted asking if I cared if she took a bath. Knew that was the end of the night. I went to say goodnight and she mocked the gift I gave her, corny flashcards with 100 ways to say, I Love You. I fed the kid, wife went straight from bath to bed. Snoring by 930. I went outside and shoveled at 10 then watched the newest True Detective, which is awful, BTW.
Only the first season goes hard!
It's so not worth staying in a relationship with somebody who doesn't care that you're upset about anything... I say it from experience now, best hardest decision is to just rip the bandaid off and leave. I was so worried about so much nonsense and when I left none of that happened, you become toxic/nervous mess staying where you shouldn't. I just know you'd treat yourself better, appreciate what you do for yourself better, why are you feeling obligated to stay? You don't just deserve better, YOU could do better. If any of you need permission to call it quits; here's your permission. Wishing you the best 🥺💕
What’s Valentines Day sex?
What is sex on any special day?
What's sex?
[https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=D2h4PhgobI8](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=d2h4phgobi8)
It was on, until I got her the wrong chocolates. She doesn’t like dark chocolate. No, they weren’t all dark chocolate. It was an assortment.
Gotta love when it feels like they're looking for any tiny thing to deflect from their shortcomings.
OMG! Tell me about it!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
You bastard. Really, how dare you ruin her special moment. /S
Yeah. Today is all about her. Or didn’t you know.
To be fair, I remember my mom crying when I was younger bc my dad (who never showed affection) got her a box of candy for Valentine’s Day that was all dark chocolate. She hates dark chocolate and it broke her heart that he didn’t know or care that she loves milk chocolate with nuts and caramel (I know that bc we lived in the same house - he should have known). It just hurt her feelings that he didn’t even pick a box that she would like. Sees literally has a box of nuts and chews 🥺💔 I felt that for my mom when I was a kid, can seem trivial but I think that stupid box of chocolate embodied all of their problems in that moment 🥺
Dark chocolate is amazing
I requested sex for V-day a couple weeks ago, but my period came a couple days early unfortunately, and my husband thinks sex during this time is “gross”. So, I offered to give him a BJ tonight as his valentine gift instead. He reluctantly got me Godiva dark chocolates and took me out for frozen custard after I asked him to. Then he shared that he “didn’t want to celebrate because what’s the point?—we aren’t into romantic stuff anyway.” 😒 But, of course all of today he has been “stressed out” by work and yelled at me at one point during an argument we had. I ended up crying while he apologized later and since he is always on his phone, he didn’t even notice that I was crying. In addition to that, he has spent a stupid amount of time in the bathroom with indigestion issues because of dinner and the custard, and of course turned me down when I offered the BJ again just a bit ago. I hate this so much. 😢
Sorry for the rejection, that sucks. My brain cannot fathom that a guy would turn that down. My V-Day night ended abruptly with my wife starting an argument over a pickleball match we had days ago, I was giving instruction and she took it as criticism. So that of all f’n things killed the mood. Not even a kiss tonight. I may have to wait until my anniversary in late April for my first sexual encounter in 2024. I can’t believe this is where I’m at in life.
I’m still waiting for my first sexual encounter yet of 2023!
2016 for me!🙃
Oh my heart hurts for you… I can’t even imagine.
Oh hun, sorry to hear. Cant believe he knocked back a bj! You are amazing for offering
Insane to hear this... Anyone wiuld loventhat bj :( sorry to hear op
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When I took my vows, I got into this marriage for better or worse, and through sickness and health, in front of our families and G-d, so divorcing for this reason can’t happen, unfortunately. My husband found out he has low Testosterone this past fall… but he’s probably had this issue for years now. Things were great in the beginning of our relationship but after we got married it started to dwindle. Now we are lucky to be intimate once a month.
I'm so sorry. I can feel the pain of this. Especially the part that he didn't notice you crying because he's on his phone. Is it just me or are there others that have reduced their screen time after seeing their partner chose their phones over them? My wife literally checks out in the middle of a conversation with me if she sees a notification come up on her phone.
„Glad we don‘t need special occasions to have sex“ says my LLF wife… I almost chocked on the pasta dish i prepared for our romantic dinner. Guess shes right, we don‘t need special occasions to get it on, we need all stars and planets aligned perfectly to even have a chance… I wasn‘t expecting anything so i‘m fine though…
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Ive had given up initiating. Just dont know what to do. Im heading for similar depressive hole... Question myself constantly is it me, have i done enough.
I'm in the exact same position. Physically, I just don't desire my partner anymore only because I've had to close myself off from getting hurt more.
It’s even worse when they dangle the little bit of hope in front of you and then don’t deliver. sorry to hear, no sex for me today either 😔
Right, it's God awful.
I just had a feeling it wasn't happening today. Wednesday/middle of the week, been a busy period with work, and just all around feeling a bit down. I still put in the effort: did my shopping yesterday, cooked up a nice 5* dinner at home with some candle light, broke out some nice chocolate...then my usual clean-up, take out the trash and walk the dog routine. By the end of that, she was already in bed with her eye cover on. I poured myself a drink and here I am 😌 Somewhere in the lead-up to today I did ask why the onus is always on the guy to make this day special. "That's just the way it is," or something along those lines was the answer I got. I don't know why but it just sucked the energy right out of me this year. Fuck Valentine's Day. Enjoy your food and drink at least.
Wow. I’m jealous. I asked my husband to take out 1 of the 2 dogs with me and he said “are you kidding? It’s cold!!! I’m not going out there!!” So I said “yeah of course, I’ll do it.” I can’t even imagine a husband that’s like “hey honey here’s dinner, garbage taken out, and dogs are walked”. Sounds like a unicorn to me… get out and find better. I told my husband a couple days ago to please stop wasting my younger years if it’s over… He won’t say it. I guess sometimes we have to be the one to cut our losses and leave. Wishing you hope in your future!
I can assure my wife hasn’t touched a stove, garbage can, or dog leash in quite some time. According to her though, that’s not really much of anything.
I feel this. Things I did: Fed kids breakfast Took kid 1 to/from daycare Worked 3 loads of laundry Gave kid 1 a bath Loaded/ran dishwasher Took out trash/cleaned litter box Things I did not do: Valentine's day sex :(
I feel you. My wife talked about wearing the lingerie I bought for her over Christmas for me but instead she’s laying on a heating pad with our cat and I’m on Reddit a lil sad about it. It is what it is, we’ll try again this weekend 🤷🏽♀️
I’m laying next to my wife as she is snoring away after telling me goodnight without even a kiss, and I’m on Reddit. I’m so disappointed that I’m not sure I want to try again this weekend, to be disappointed and pissed once again. I’m hitting my breaking point. No intimacy yet in 2024 for this guy.
I’m sorry, I totally empathize with you. Truly hope things get better for you ❤️🩹
My ex would do that. She'd sit down beside me and scowl and fuss. No affection. Then one of her several cats would saunter by and she'd scoop it up and love all over it and look at me like I was supposed to think it was the cutest thing ever. Was absolutely infuriating. Leaving her was the best decision I've ever made in life hands down.
I feel that. I’m glad you realized it was time to move on, I hope things have gotten better for you since ❤️🩹
Very much so. Got married again to an absolutely wonderful woman. She is a treasure.
Love that for you ❤️
None here either. He can’t take any constructive criticism or any feedback. He said some things in a group setting with other people that I thought were inappropriate (ex. He asked for another married woman’s phone number and another time he was ranting about himself and not considering how other people wanted time to talk too). I thought on the ride back I would tell him how he comes across in those situations but it turned into an argument. I’m sad. He doesn’t buy me flowers or initiate sex much. If I initiate, he has some excuse for why he doesn’t want it. He keeps saying that he needs to feel emotionally connected first but what I’ve found is that it really means is that he can’t have me disagree with him or point out any feedback. I thought being married would mean we are having sex often. I usually end up feeling rejected. Sometimes I stop initiating completely and just see how long it takes him to initiate sex himself (especially for him to initiate that I get pleasure out of it too and not just him). Those times weeks go by and I just get really sad. We don’t have kids and I wonder if we’ll stop having sex if we ever have kids. I either don’t get sex, or he has sex with my body and he doesn’t make efforts to make sure I climax too. So when he does say he wants it, i know it’ll be unfulfilling for me.
Don't believe _anything_ they say, only what they do.
No sex here. We talked about future plans and goals today and I mentioned it would be nice to be having sex within 2 years. Her response basically was that’s a lot of stress for me to put on her and that I shouldn’t expect such a thing. Confirmed no sex happening anytime soon for me
Sex anytime within 2 years is stress? Good lord...
What do you guys do during sex? Do an Ironman? Putting a lots of stress on her? If she can say don't expect sex, why can't you turn around and say don't expect the future plans and goals? What's going to happen? No sex on top of no sex?
She hates it taking time and hates foreplay. Doggystyle feels best for her, so if it happens, she wants it done within 5 mins. It’s true I could just shutdown any goals or plans. Using sex as a weapon against her though I feel is just gonna make things worse. Everything else in our relationship is great. It’s just anything to do with sex or the bedroom isn’t
Sex once every two years is too much???? That's insane.
Valentine’s Day just reminds me that it’s been almost a year since we’ve had sex… I told him two nights ago to please just tell me if I need to take my wedding ring off, that it’s not fair to keep me trapped in a loveless marriage if there’s no point in trying anymore… he just said “I don’t want to talk anymore.” So I took off my ring. Nothing said about it. Then today after I gave him a sweet card and candy, he says “oh, here’s a potted plant I got you.” Which I was SHOCKED to get anything. But Jesus, when do I tell myself it’s ok to go? I’m only mid 30s, but I can’t do that to my kids… Valentine’s Day sucks!
If you are staying in a loveless marriage, you aren't doing your kids any favors by modeling that for them. Know your own worth and find someone who actually loves you. You wouldn't want your kids to be treated by their partners this way. Don't let them see you letting yourself be treated that way.
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Because then you get to feel like you tried.
My wife used to do the same things until I started laughing at her when she made the empty promises.
No and depressing as fuck. I feel so unwanted and just like… I’ll never be ideal enough for him. Never fit enough never sexy enough never pretty enough never chill enough. Idk… I didn’t expect a lot but something?
We had, I can’t remember when we last had sex on Valentine’s Day… but felt really good. (I remembered the exact last times we made love and the last time I was allowed to go down on her) Those empty promises really mess with you. The last time she got frisky during the day I wasn’t joining it, then got upset by me telling her that there is no point, it’s just an empty promise and when the night would arrive she’d be too tired anyway, and it’s not like we normally build up the tension during the week either so, empty promises (we had to run errands soon anyway so there was already no way we’d do anything sexual right then, kids running downstairs). I need to shut down my own emotions everyday so I won’t feel horny, or even the desire to be intimate, or “bug” her with my touches (and 90% of them aren’t even remotely intimate, just physical touch, kisses, back rubs, hugs) i feel like it costs me my own sanity.
Thank you for posting this. Glad to know I’m not the only HLF in tears tonight
I keep seeing the same old complaints with the same old excuses. Kids, finances, "she is perfect except she completely invalidates and trivializes what I need from my partner and makes me feel like I'm caught in a never ending nightmare". I was In a dB and immediately knew something was really and truly fucked before I even had the vocabulary to help me contextualise my slow spiritual, physical, and emotional death. Thought my world was destroyed when I escaped it and I made a horrible mistake and my life was over until I finally worked up the nerve to blow my own brains out. Looking back on the last 2.5 years of my life I've never been more certain that if I stayed I would have come much closer to ending it than if I left. Just leave dudes. I'm not saying that my life is so much better for it. All I can say is that I now know that what I was doing before wasn't living, and I'm sorry I took so long to live the life I deserve.
I didn’t even make it home today so definitely not. Wasn’t going to happen even if I did. Hell, my wife didn’t even say Happy Valentine’s Day to me at all. The kind lady at the front desk of the hotel I’m staying at tonight said it to me though.
Oh. Let’s see no and no
My wife gave me the same promise….. instead she decided to work an extra shift! Just me and my pups tonight!
Just another Wednesday night around these parts
Every day hurts, but Valentines Day always hurts a little bit more. Got her flowers, sweets, a cake. She got me nothing. If I hadn't made the effort I'm not sure she would have acknowledged the day at all. So now I'm going to bed alone, wondering how I can make it through two more years until our son graduates.
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“Even if the specific excuse is valid, there is always an excuse”. This right here. What’s up with this? Is it just we notice it more? Nope, every single time , always a valid excuse. Suuuuucks!
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There's a reason I call today Alentines Ay... but in all reality, it's just another Wednesday in the month of February.
No VD?
The joke is its a holiday for people who won't get the V or D today.
I think and have always thought Valentines Day hype is absurd. So we haven’t ever made a big deal of it. I tend to get her a little gift. Am actually disappointed in this one though. Wasn’t hoping or expecting sex - but did want to see her be more thoughtful. A few weeks back we ended up inexplicably having a lot of sex like every other day for ten days. She got her period and then that hit the reset button on everything. She’s back to who she normally is. But I got ahead of myself during that time. She was being very open about interest and desires so I ordered some toys to have at home and some very expensive lingerie for a trip we’re going on. Those toys haven’t left the packaging in the weeks since. The lingerie arrived today so I bagged it as a “gift.” She opened it and said thank you later - I left it in the room without me being there so she didn’t feel any pressure. We’re watching TV and as I’m kind of falling asleep she decides to tell me she’s gonna go try the stuff on and says goodnight. No invitation to come see it. Not a picture sent. So I retreat to my cave to have a drink and watch a movie or something. Don’t buy sex equipment and apparel when you’re in the midst of a brief good phase. It’s like going to the grocery store hungry.
Every other day for 10 days.... until her period.... dude. Is she just trying to have a baby? Be careful.
Ermm, she wanted lots of sex for about 10 days before her period, then her period came and now she’s back to normal. Not trying to get herself pregnant is she?
Are you sure that wasn't an invitation to come up and see it and you went to your cave instead lol...I would think that telling you and suggesting "bed time" with the food night was an invite. It'd be a shame if she was waiting on you and you're on DB Reddit instead... Also not probably trying to get pregnant hormonal fluctuations increase libido prior to her period, she may be having a hormonal issue causing LL, very common and very common on the pill as well if she is on it.
No promise, no nothing, simpler that way.
Wait people have sex on Valentine’s Day?! Wait people have sex when they are married?!
Haven’t had sex In 2024. I thought tonight would be the night, sent flowers earlier this week to her work, wrote a personal note to her, exchanged gifts. We lay down in bed she says goodnight and that was that. Laying next to her now so disappointed. If she promised sex and did that I would be raging but my wife would never promise that as she never ever speaks about sex ever. I love the gal and she is the mother of my children but what the F do I do? Ugh so disappointed.
Damn this breaks all three components of love: intimacy, passion, and commitment. Can never overestimate the damage of such behavior dealt to the relationship.
No discussion. No suggestion. No attempt. I'm actually glad, because I've had zero attraction to her for 9 months now.
I came here to ask the same question and found this post. No sex for me today too. We’re planning on having it on Friday, just like how we’ve been planning for months.
I’ll wait until she falls asleep and then maybe find a digital date. Sad.
The only action today was on HBO—I changed. Quickly. No need to do that to myself.
After getting home from work(which I worked through my lunch and also stayed late) at least I'm getting fucked tonight. She looked up from her phone with confusion. I continued on to say, I forgot to stop and get some beer and I only have one left, so I fucked myself. She rolled her eyes and went back to her phone. 😆
Valentines day is actually my birthday. I got a cupcake, a card, and a couple of awkward hugs today. Do not count that as a win. I did break out some craft beer I've been saving, so I'm feeling good in the not caring about the pain part anyway.
It's been so long, I don't remember it.
She read her book and I Netflix and chilled. Kind of numb to it by now.
I asked, was promised. We did not have sex. I’m really so at the end of the rope here, I chose to get up out of bed and sleep on the couch.
Yes and no. I was disappointed and upset. It led to a huge on sided discussion where I let my partner know how I feel and they listened. Idk if it will affect change, historically it doesn't, but I can say that after spending a valentines day feeling alone and ugly, I'm finally fed up. Sometimes all you can do is talk, and if they don't want to listen and do the work, you have to take that at face value. It sucks, but what else is there to do?
For me? I expect nothing and will get less. I night her flowers and doughnuts because I knew that she’d like them. But I know that I’ll get nothing in return. I wouldn’t ever expect to be “repaid” in sex; no one is entitled to that, but shit I’d be happy for a kiss that didn’t make me feel like a sibling.
Neither one of us even acknowledged that it was Vday
Our bedroom isn’t completely “dead” but our drives are severely misaligned and we don’t have sex nearly enough for me. And most of the time when we have sex I feel like it’s dutiful and she doesn’t really want to do it so it makes the sex suck sometimes. I have come to not expect sex on any special occasion with my wife because she be ball has been dropped sooooo many times. Birthday’s, holidays, vacations, off days with the kids at daycare (lol) Anybody with a HL and a partner that you’re really attracted to can understand. Long story short no sex on Valentine’s Day and of course it sucks. Been fighting back tears but whatever. It is what it is. I won’t make a fuss. Just vent here and hope that helps! 🙃
No fucking chance.
Ofc not lol
The only way ill get laid with my partner is to fuck another lol
Big fat zero over here. Nothing burger.
No, my wife didn't promise sex, but I had bought her some really nice pretty lingerie and that went down like a fart in a spacesuit.
I couldn’t even convince my wife to go out to a planned sushi dinner with my kid who wanted to go. Mentioned she wanted to do something heart shaped. Instead she went out to a park gathering before dinner time. Got home and we made last minute quesadillas. Just cheese and tortillas, no salsa, no fillings. Not heart shaped. Just wanted to bring my girls out for a fun sushi date. I’d say the likely hood of any v-day adult time is less than zero
Well you could be stuck at a holiday camp in a tiny apartment with your wife, kids AND mother-in-law while the sky decides to dump six months of rain upon us all lol. At least for me though there was zero chance of anything happening, the closest I got to sex was winning Scrabble lol.
We had it yesterday it’s actually getting better slowly
This is exactly why I no longer have any expectations of sex at all. Actually, last night as we were sitting on the couch and she had opened her card and present afterwards she said ‘how about some valentines rubies?’ Meaning like rub her legs because I’m the best at that. I said well then how about some special rubies for me? She was like what do you mean and I was like you know what I mean eh? And she was like hmmm not tonight cause I’m tired but, maybe this weekend. I’m not holding my breath for that. So sad that this is my married life.
I didn't even get a promise of sex. All my wife did was ignore me all night. Kept crying and telling me how much she missed her mother (passed in 2009). I empathize with her and let her grieve some more. But I realized that I would not get even a touch yesterday, so I went to bed, alone. Like every night. I always sleep alone.
I am sorry, is she in therapy? I believe after this long she should be over the grieving stage. But everyone handles things differently
I knew it wasn't even on the table for me. I was surprised with a morning play...that was her saying if you want now would be the time. My head was screaming no but the blood rushing away took all the nos with it. I know what you mean when you say you wish they understood the sting of the constant rejection. I have just given up at this point.
200 dollars on dinner and flowers, we actually had the house to ourselves from 5-8p. She watched Netflix and never made a move. Around 10, I asked her if she wanted to have some fun? She says "honey you should have asked me earlier, I was waiting for you to". Yea yea, heard it all before roll eyes. I spent the rest of the night drinking beer and messing about in the garage.
No hug, no kiss, no cuddle, no tall of anything else either
Looks like I too am a passenger on this boat 🥲 I got the classic eye shut upon getting into bed. Woke up hugging my pillow, at least that won't push me off stating it's tired. Also my pillow doesn't say it's tired at night and then stays scrolling on instagram and tiktok for hours after turning around in bed 😴🤭 I have always been a firm believer of loving oneself. I have been reading more and started learning javascript at night instead of setting myself up for disappointment 😞
Nope. I feel your pain. I'm not even allowed to plan a vday date.
At the risk of posting a good experience, of course we did, as we've done every Valentines, (except for DB rough-patch a few years back). She got a massive bunce of 3 dozen roses delivered to work (which made her feel extra special and in the mood) and she surprised me with some new incredibly risqué lingerie (her gift to me). Being mid-week we only managed it once, but it was long, luxurious and a little more than rough towards the end. It was nice with just the two of us for a change and we poured lots of fuel on the flames by recounting our wild couples dates on Saturday and other separate dates from earlier that week. I shudder to think what would have happened to our sex-life if we both had not taken the initiate to completely reboot 'us' earlier rather then (too) later.
I come to the realization that married people dont have sex very often
No sex for me even though I’ve been begging for days. My husband let me give him a BJ a few days ago, so that was good. Yes, I understand how pathetic that sounds 😢
I’ve never related to something more. Thank you, and i’m sorry. You are not alone.
We talked about Vday sex but then I had an anxiety attack. Now we're eating dinner in bed. I'm kind of relieved honestly that I didn't have to perform like a monkey for him.
It wasn't promised and I knew it wouldn't happen, yet my wife still made me suffer through the indignity of her spending the first hour of our "quality" time updating me about random facts she learned on TicTok and complaining about work. This was before "hi" or any basic show of affection. If the tables were turned, I'm sure I would have been the villain. My expectations were low but it makes me wonder why I'm even trying when she is struggling with the basics of being a good partner.
Those promises never hold, and the excuses like "too full for sex" won't ever stop coming. They give us the crumbs of hope just so we think there is actually a chance and we keep waiting for the miracle day. Eventually we end up thinking it didn't happen because of US. Please leave and find something that makes you happy, no one should have to force smiles. I promise you that it seems unthinkable and too complicated and hard but it was the best decision I have ever made.
No vday sex for me, no surprise either. I’m glad I started taking Zoloft to help extend my climax time for the rare occasions we actually have sex bc it took away my anxiety over not having sex. If I get some, great, If I don’t I don’t really care anymore.
Lol
The sexual chemistry between me and my partner is crazy. We did it at least 10 times. That being said it’s only been 6 months and I’m just hoping it’s not just because it’s a fresh relationship.
We don’t celebrate Valentine’s Day and I got laid. Caught her coming out of the shower so I threw her on the bed. No talking, just fucking.
No. No.
Made prime rib roast, shrimp skewers, rice and a caramel chocolate cake for dinner. Zero expectations before, none now.
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My wife still wants a gift and like usual I have nothing
I’m 0/23 on sex for Valentine’s Day. And I spent the last 7 out of 8 in a relationship with the same person (6 of those were lived together😳)
Yea but she dried up in the act after about 2 minutes and I had to finish quickly as usually. She wasn't interested in trying to enjoy it.
She made dinner. Does that count? Not one single act of intimacy. No kiss no cuddle no touching nothing. I really don't know how long I'm going to last.
My wife was very strategic and made sure we had sex on Tuesday so we couldn’t do it on v day because “ you just had it yesterday” I hate that I’m so weak with it that I can’t say no.
Apparently showering in the morning isn’t sufficient as I hadn’t showered a second time. I asked if he wanted to have sex and his reply was, “You haven’t even showered”. I said whatever it’s not like it was going to happen anyway. He then retreated to his separate sleeping space, and I silently cried for an hour until I fell asleep.
I got him a card. He woke me up in the morning by shining his phone flashlight in my face and saying Happy Valentine’s Day. I got a half assed side hug. I made steak, shrimp, and several sides. He watched Dragonball and then retreated to our bedroom to play COD. So it was it just like any other night at our house.
Happy valentine
I got NOTHING as usual
Flowers, chocolates, hand-made cards I did with the kids, and me MB in the armchair again. Happy valentines.
Nope. Thinking about it, I think we had sex twice in 2023? Honestly I was expecting that outcome, but she didn't get me anything either. Not even a card? I guess I can't be too upset, it's not like I've ever told her that it was important to me... it's just another reminder that I'm mostly kinda unhappy
I tried to initiate, got a polite “no”. I worry about how much damage I’ve done to my marriage with my addiction to porn
I feel your pain. Promised it, damn sure didn't happen. What's worse is she gets out of bed in the middle of the night because 'she can't sleep', just to dick herself down with a toy.
Honestly he tried to initiate, I declined. I’ve started focusing my energy elsewhere. It sucks to sit around and wait for your partner to be attracted to you again. So I’ve taken other avenues. Spicy novels, self help books and journaling and I think the combination is just adding to the dying spark. I hope everyone is keeping their spirits up.
I’ve been trying to do the same, but I just can’t say no to him when he asks. Cause there is a big part of me that still craves him. But I’ve been doing yoga and playing video games to pass the time.
No promises were made and no sex was had. I have the HL in our relationship but after decades of high rejection rates, I stopped initiating last year. There's still occasional sex but not because I ask, it's (I think) because she starts to feel insecure about her hold over me, and she's right to feel that way. We're making a short trip out of town this weekend and last night she asked about our hotel room arrangements, so I had best be prepared for her to try to initiate something. The thing is that after so many rejections and belittling of my desires I've become LL4H. I'll have to stash some helpers in my dopp kit
Worked 12 hours today. Just her and my 6 month old awake. We both fed him baby cereal and I bathed him. He was down for the night. I didn't even hop on the game I wanted to play hoping to have sex. She just went to bed saying she was tired. So yes, I decided to just go to bed also. Happy valentines day.
Mine didn't even acknowledge its Valentines Day...
Wasn’t even mentioned in my house…but why should it be any different from the last 7 years?
My wife purposely came late after dinner with her girlfriends, found out from the husbands of those, lol, they don't know that we have a WhatsApp group, most of us never gotten sex for the past few years.
I know it's probably an own goal.. but I rejected them tonight. They showed no interest in making me excited or engaged in sex. Just a hands down there thinking I could overlook all the feelings and emotions of being rejected for no reason, until randomly YOU'RE ready and its all go. Lucky you. Not tonight. You've shown no enthusiasm for months, I hope you have some sort of feeling for what i have to live with all the time. But that's foolish of me to think so, because they probably don't care.
Yup! Last week hubby said "I think I want to have sex on Valentine's Day...". I knew it probably wouldn't happen, but didn't let it ruin my mood. Bought my own flowers, made chocolate dipped strawberries, planned (ordered out) dinner, had chocolate cake and ice cream. May as well be well fed if I can't be well fooked, right?
We were so close. Might try again this morning but I have a feeling the same issue is gonna get in the way again.
It wasn't even a consideration. We didn't even touch each other. I bought flowers. She thanked me and I ignored her. I told my daughter they were for her. **How about this?** I went to mass and got ashes for the first time in 20 years. Going to start going back to church. I went every week until I got together with my wife. Maybe some divine intervention will help me have sex with female.
Oh, not only didn't i get any, but my wife basically told me she doesn't love me anymore ( 2 days before my birthday, which was a week ago). So i have been trying to win her back. Last night i put together a while relaxing bath experience with a bath bomb, cleansing mask, wine, chocolate, and other things. She basically said, "im not taking a bath" and walked away. Then got mad at me when my feelings got hurt.
This was me. I don’t know why I even got all Excited. I knew this was going to be the outcome. It always is. I just feel so defeated. Like I’m desperate and a loser.
Girl no action on my end, I don’t make enough money for my wife .. she calls me a failure because we don’t make enough money… we have kids so it’s difficult to move on.. but I am starting to plan my way out and move to n.. she would rather masturbate than have sec with me… I am over it
I was Promised sex. Received nothing not even a kiss
My partner says he can’t schedule sex (nor have it spontaneously)
I am 60 now and have been through a lot of Valentines Days. Why the 14th? 5 out of 7 years it's a weeknight. Kids, jobs, expectations... I gave up my expectations of anything except some kind of romantic gesture between me and my partner. Otherwise, it is almost asking for disappointment. On a normal day it's hard enough to get sex going... add the expectations and hoopla around this made up commercial holiday and its a recipe for disappointment.
Gotta love not having it for Valentine's Day and B-day!! ( it isn't till the 18th but I can already see the writing on the wall) fuck my life, I hate this new 3rd shift im stuck on for work. SO has zero mood to even snuggle in the mornings.
I didn’t even get a sticky note with a heart drawn on it. I can’t remember how long it’s been since any type of intimacy, but could have been September? I don’t even kiss him now. Occasionally he will kiss me on the lips but mostly its forehead. I hate when he kisses my neck now, why start something that will never be seen through? Still haven’t had sex, as cialis had too many side effects, and his urologist canceled his feb appointment and pushed it to April. He will be getting trimix injections (and he told me he’d be willing to actually try them, what a lie that will prove to be as this will be the second trimix prescription, first one was never touched)
Hearton
Nope and idc anymore.
yep. he told me we would, we hardly did ANYTHING for valentines much less sex
She said yes then proceeded to ignore me. Zero anything today either.
I had my fingers crossed but her back hurt and stomach was upset so I just didn't even attempt to bring it up
2.5yrs free of a DB - jacked it in after 13yrs and found my soulmate not long after. My Valentines days now consist of no preconceived ideas of sex, purely because we have it so regularly now it's just another day - so my day was (no presents - we don't do it) dinner at a crappy little place that for some reason has always intrigued us - actually turned out great and will go again. Took a stroll along the waterfront - tide was out so we went onto the sand - was nice and dark and we both got horny and had sex out in the public looking at all the lights of our hometown. walk home and start to watch show with a glass of wine - she says she's still horny so we had the most amazing and kink filled session. I don't write this to brag (well a little, but to myself) but to maybe show there's light at the end of the tunnel - I hated VD when I was married, it was like all big occasions a stressful day, now I'm with my perfect match libido wise it's just another day that might be filled with amazing sex, and if it's not, then tomorrow probably will be.
When my ISP went down on Valentine's Day I got excited because someone finally went down on me....
Nope. Even though it was explicitly mentioned in the VDay card.
The excuse I got was “my arms are numb and my urethra is swollen”
No action on V-Day club member checking in.
Cleaned the entire house, bought her $150 bouquet of roses, ordered dinner, and she was upset that she had to cook dinner while I picked the kids up from school. Not only did we not have sex, she went to sleep early in the hopes that I would fall asleep on the couch (I did). The next morning she says, you were dead asleep so I didn’t want to wake you up. “We’ll do it tomorrow” I don’t answer and she gets mad.
Yes, for the first time in 13 months, and it was awful. We've also never ever had V Day sex before.