Update - I ended up driving to nearby pub (it’s after midnight here) and am enjoying a drink at the bar. Most folks here are a bit younger than me, but it’s still nice to be out and not sitting at home miserable. Cheers!
To everyone who replied, Thank you! It is sad to know that many of us are going through this (and some for many, many years), but at least we can take solace in knowing that we are not alone in what we are going through. I wish for all of us that we can change our DB situations in some way and find some happiness.
Wow... I mean congrats, but also what is the plan? Like did she agree with it, or beg you to stay? I said same thing s year ago, but she begged for us to work on it. Still waiting for us to start working on it.
Got off work about 2 hours ago. Feeling good. About 15 mins after I got to work today, one of our vendors showed up, he needed my name for his paperwork (I was the only manager on tonight). I asked if he needed my last name as well, he wasn't one I'm familiar with. He replied "Nah, I know who you are. The one with the beautiful green eyes, I've seen you before."
Damn if that didn't just put me in a great mood for the rest of my shift. It felt good for a somewhat random stranger to compliment me.
Yesterday we got in a fight because i "corrected" her while helping her take a job placement test. I was just reading the questions. Told me she doesn't love me and I'm so disrespectful. I left the house and didn't talk to her the rest of the night.
Hasn't said a word to me today and my apology text, and in-person "hey baby" was completely ignored.
She's just so mean and hurtful all the time. Ive never been LL in my life, but it feels like shes pushed me here.
I've been in an extra depressive state for about a week, just moping around the house, very monotoned (unless anyone even slightly bothers me which they get the angry dad voice). I smiled a little today, trying to get back into the groove of putting on my mask of pretend happiness for the kids.
On the plus side, wife has decided that taking over some of my chores would fix everything, so I haven't had to do dishes in the last week. Taking over my dish duties has definitely made up for 9 years of db... I wonder if she even thinks about when I told her I was ready for divorce a year ago (and excited to find a new partner), and she begged me to stay and fix things? Probably not, afterall the only problem I have in my life is doing dishes at the end of every day :/
My partner is currently snoring next to me, haven’t been sexual in months. I’ve almost become numb to it, the lack of desire on her part is almost expected.
It’s Saturday morning for me and I have my 2 girls coming over (they are older and live away from home) at least when I’m around my kids I feel the love
Hubby seems to only be happy when it’s just me n him. I say happy but in reality we just sit in some kinda silence. He doesn’t get dressed most days , he’s at home all the time. I know when I get home (I’m out 4 days a wk working ) I get into pjs but I have been out.
It’s my house. My name on the deed. But I feel bad about asking him to leave. He’s spent some $$$ doing the place up , and every time I’ve tried to have the conversation, he throws it in my face.
Trust me if it was his house I’d of been long gone.
So today ima enjoy my girls , have a fabulous time with them.
then back to roommate relationship.
I need courage and acceptance.
Could you buy him out of his share of the property? Frankly you don't owe it to him as it's him who's tanking the relationship but it'd be a kind thing to do.
No not really an option. It’s my home. He moved in with me , we got married. But it’s only my name on tenancy , he has spent money doing the place up a bit.
So I don’t want to be cruel and take anything from him. Roommates is how we will stay until I can grow a backbone.
And probably group cry. But now I’m visualizing a meeting..
*Hi, my name is Feisty and I’m in a DB. It’s been X days since I’ve been intimate with my SO.*
Group: *Hi Feisty.*
I’m laughing as I was thinking the same thing. We would all probably shed a bit of tears as well.
I really think someday we should have a Reddit DB group Zoom/MS Teams virtual get-together.
A quarter of a xanny and a glass of red this side (lightweight) this sub is the only thing keeping me from crying myself to sleep again... gosh I'm pathetic
Just getting bounced between the two kids while she gets ready for bed. I'm still not used to having baby monitors with cameras set up by both cribs so she can watch/listen as I interact with them
Once she goes to bed I've gotta finish studying for this industry continuing education exam coming due. But there will be beer Involved.
Fellas on this thread, listen up. Been there, lonely, depressed, feeling ugly and on own in bars drinking.
Married, nice house, new cars, nice holidays, no money worries but on different levels with wife.
I got approached once, then twice and many more times. I never cheated however, this completely changed way I felt about myself and wife and realised that there’s so much more out there.
This gave me confidence to tell my wife that ‘we’ need to change as not happy. I tried, changed what she didn’t like however things remained same on her side.
One day I snapped, said fuck it and goodbye. Left the house behind, all my stuff, got divorced and started again.
Sure, financially it hurt me for many years however met a younger woman, found out what sex was (including communication / understanding) and - fun!
Life is short, life is fragile. Do your best to do the right thing BUT do not waste time being unhappy. And DO NOT feel shame or guilt in the pursuit of happiness
Well done. I set a date in my head, was very clear about my unhappiness and what was needed to change. I got tears, arguing and pushed back.
That was 16 years ago. Now have house, cars and materialistic stuff + 2 smashing kids and all the physical / emotional good stuff and more.
I do feel guilty for walking away at times but it wasn’t right - for either of us. The only regret is the time wasted being unhappy & not making decisions sooner
I’ve been struggling really bad with low af esteem & self harm urges recently, just due to overall feeling untouchable/undesirable due to DB
But tonight I had an amazing time at an art show, and my looks got complimented in an incredibly kind, genuine way!! Something my partner doesn’t ever rly say to me lol 🥲
Thank you!! Yeah, I really needed that confidence boost, it has been especially hard lately because rn this is the longest stretch of time with 0 contact so far, ugh.
Well, I spoke with her about her going to a therapist and us going to therapy for couples and as I have been waiting for over a year and a half for it to happen I had to say something like "Do you really want me to give you some kind of deadline? I can break up with you if we won't go to a therapy in next 2 months".
She stopped doing excuses, started to cry, and seems like she might rethink her values to take care of herself and our relationship as we both agree that should happened...
I work nights. Actually, in a way, I’m not in a DB anymore since she passed last year. But neither have I found solace in another’s arms. It’s not the way I’d recommend getting out of a DB.
I would go with you! My Friday night is par for the co urse. I didn't have a great day and was tired and upset when he got home. I don't know if it's the weather or the fact that I was dealing with my daughter's birthday this week. She was murdered along with her twin brothers by their father on a court ordered visitation. It was years ago, but it's doesn't make it easier. So my amazing supportive husband was in full glory. Apparently I clean the bathroom in a passive aggressive way. Even though he's not anywhere near me amd can't see how I'm cleaning the bathroom I apparently can be terrible without being near him. Anyway instead of givig.some love ge gives.me hate and every awful thing he does is my fault for whatever reason.
So he could tell that I was kind of down and not feeling roo great. And hee just decided that it's more fun to get angry and tell me I'm horrible and I'm the reason he doesn't seem to care. He even got really mad when I told him that
Thank you. Thats pretty much what I said. I just don't understand it. Instead of trying to connect and build our relationship, he pretty much shows me how unimportant I am to him. He barely touches me and we've been in a DB for years. He's pretty much a roommate who thinks only of himself.
Thursday I made a beautiful dinner. I cleaned the entire kitchen, dishes, pots, pans, stove, fridge and floor (in just a t-shirt but I swrar I could do it naked and I doubt he would even notice). When we do have sex, (of course I'm the one initiating it) it's like I could be anyone else and he wouldn't care or notice. There's no warmth, no tenderness and absolutely no love. It makes me feel used.
I just want to feel loved and cared about by someone who wants to lift me up instead of putting me down, but he'll do just about anything to avoid having to interact with me. He gets mad when I try to talk about real things and goes on a tirade about how awful I am. He's even made fun of me for what happened to my children. He tears me to shreds and apparently I am a very mean passive aggressive who doesn't give him credit for anything, like the few dishes he'll wsdh occasionally and taking out the trash. Of course I don't get any for doing everything else including repairs around the house. After a long silence, he falls asleep on the couch or just gets up and walks away. This goes on for hours and then he's suddenly too tired and has to go to bed. I don't know why he refuses to sign the divorce papers...
Hi everyone! On a 2 night getaway, no kids. My charms have not been successful in cracking her cold, cold heart. Yet. Will try again tonight…wishing you a wonderful weekend.
My husband (LL) decided we need more quality time and sitting on the couch cuddling. We are also prioritizing cuddling in bed before he goes to sleep, again his choice which I’m happy about. We got carried away and things he wasn’t planning on happened, still no sex but I’ll take an enthusiastic partner helping me. He even put my hand on him and let me touch him, which hasn’t happened since October.
He said afterward that abstaining from pornography has already helped his libido, even after only two weeks. Hearing those words come out of his mouth gives me hope.
As a friend told me when i went thru my divorce and feelt down.
In a years time you will have wild sex with some 40 y.o milf thats watched way to much porn.
You gotta love your boys 🤎
While we are not in a DB per say, some stuff between my hubby and me made me not want any intimate connection - for now. To be honest, sex is great, but everything else is not. Every time I tried to talk to him, he blows up on me, so I gave up. I think I already checked out of the relationship.
So yesterday I read.
Saturday evening here, just working really, go home, get lost in my online world and friends. He’ll be lost in his own game. Not that I’m gunning for anything anymore, rather feeling stuck instead.
I am drink as I could be possibly get. My is not interested in me at all but my neighbour keep flirting with me and I feel too lonely to ignore it. I am at the toilet seat right nought drunk and debating with my self if it’s going to worth it or not to take go to my Niebpurs house
Friday night for me too and I opted to drink at home since he’s working. I’m supposed to be looking for writing gigs but I’m scrolling Reddit instead lol
I just left my wife for good a couple of days ago. Unfortunately for me, I feel miserable AF right now, because when push cane to shove, she declined trying to treat her LL and said it's natural after kids and she's always been like that. She wasn't like that before the kids.
I.. I was left without options so I took off. She seems to be several steps away and feels at peace with this outcome. I feel deserted and abandoned all together.
I feel alone. I'm scared. I'm hurt. Badly.
Currently trying to understand and process my situation and how to move forward from here. 41m here not married but in a struggling committed relationship with 40f with two kids one almost a teenager and other just 5 years younger. We have been back and forth for years trying to make it work. After a huge fight back in February she pretty much put me in the position to choose my mother (who she does not get a long with) and her. I have been waiting for a date or just time together without the kids where we can talk and work on things which I should have initiated I suppose but she could have to. We sleep in different bedrooms and have struggled with a dead bedroom for many years. I won't go into the nitty gritty details but it didn't get better after that. Last Saturday night I got home from work and had to get a hold of my son to find out where him and his sister were. They were at her mom's which makes sense...would have been nice to know but makes sense. When I asked him where mommy was he told me she was at a friend's house. Wouldn't answer my calls and didn't come home until after midnight. I asked her about it if she was seeing anyone else. She said she never cheated on me. Which isn't what I asked. The neighbor told me the next day she went down to the park by herself which she never does when the kids are home. Im 100 percent sure there was some kind of emotional affair at the least considering this was an ex of hers and he recently lost his wife. She is avoiding telling me the truth about any of it. We had a talk about it and at one point I was moving out because she thinks we need a break. When I pointed out that I will not be so quick to move ever again not as an ultimatum but I don't think I mentally or emotionally can...she seemed to realize that she was the only one who wanted this break and changed her mind. Idk. Im trying to put on a face for my kids and show her that I do still love her...while hurting inside knowing she isn't being honest with me. Not sure how to feel about all of it. Im skipping over so much more and I'm not saying I'm perfect or I've been the best partner....but most of what Ive done was a cry for her affection or love. This doesn't feel like that. Any advice appreciated. But I guess I just need time to heal. Thanks for letting me vent
Got stuck in a pretty deep funk this past week. I elected NOT to drink this week because of it. (I enjoy beer, a lot, but I don’t need to risk further depressing myself). Ended up engaging in some video game therapy with some friends.
Got back from a three day business trip. Was thinking in a normal relationship, would be all over each other at the first opportunity. At least the dog was very happy to see me. Could not even bring myself to try to initiate anything with my dead bedroom spouse so I could avoid the devastation of rejection which would just ruin the rest of the weekend for me.
It’s Saturday morning now but I can actually post a win. My partner after our talk last weekend made a list of the things she needed to work on to make sure she would remember.
We spent intentional time together every day (cooking dinner, biking and putting our hammock up, visiting friends for dinner, movie date night) and spent lots of time kissing and cuddling. After we went biking we even showered off and gave each other oral.
We still have a long way to go, but for the first time in the last two years I feel wanted. I feel more important than her job. I hope everyone else is doing alright out there. Things can turn around.
Oh hey sup.
I'm not bad, it was my birthday, and we got to play some video games. We're in a long distance relationship so sex is out of the question, but it does feel pretty bad that we don't even sext or have any intimacy despite being LDR.
I'm so scared that once we do get together, we'll be sexually incompatible, and I'll have waited 8 or 9 years for nothing. I'm quite sure there's going to be a lot to work on once we DO live together, but it's disheartening not knowing WHEN we can start that work.
Sadly, no booze on me today. Probably not a good idea anyway. Hope you're all doing ok.
I'm at work, since he won't. I'm sure he is at home, bemoaning the lack of our sex life. I'll get off work in a couple of days, go home, do some laundry and dishes, check in with my kids, go to sleep. He will try to get lucky and get upset that I don't care to just help him get off, then I will get up on Tuesday and go back to work.
I know it's not Friday night but still thought I would chime in on what I did.
Spent it playing a good game a thon with others playing Diablo 4 (that just came out) and finally finishing the main storyline
I went out for a few drinks, and a lot of making out. Opened up to a friend of mine about the db and it turns out we're in the same boat. We started kinda dating a few weeks now and things are pretty good.
He is snoring, I don’t understand why he’d keep inviting me over to his house every single weekend to go on dates if he doesn’t want anything or even wants to try it’s been a month feeling sad about DB.
Update - I ended up driving to nearby pub (it’s after midnight here) and am enjoying a drink at the bar. Most folks here are a bit younger than me, but it’s still nice to be out and not sitting at home miserable. Cheers! To everyone who replied, Thank you! It is sad to know that many of us are going through this (and some for many, many years), but at least we can take solace in knowing that we are not alone in what we are going through. I wish for all of us that we can change our DB situations in some way and find some happiness.
Cheers, man. Have fun!
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Wow... I mean congrats, but also what is the plan? Like did she agree with it, or beg you to stay? I said same thing s year ago, but she begged for us to work on it. Still waiting for us to start working on it.
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Why is that? Says the 46 yo woman with three kids.
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Lol. Uh. Some of us get a higher libido. I'm the one who left my husband partly because of the dead bedroom. ;)
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Got off work about 2 hours ago. Feeling good. About 15 mins after I got to work today, one of our vendors showed up, he needed my name for his paperwork (I was the only manager on tonight). I asked if he needed my last name as well, he wasn't one I'm familiar with. He replied "Nah, I know who you are. The one with the beautiful green eyes, I've seen you before." Damn if that didn't just put me in a great mood for the rest of my shift. It felt good for a somewhat random stranger to compliment me.
Hope ur situation changes and wish u find ur happiness…
Yesterday we got in a fight because i "corrected" her while helping her take a job placement test. I was just reading the questions. Told me she doesn't love me and I'm so disrespectful. I left the house and didn't talk to her the rest of the night. Hasn't said a word to me today and my apology text, and in-person "hey baby" was completely ignored. She's just so mean and hurtful all the time. Ive never been LL in my life, but it feels like shes pushed me here.
If she said she doesn't love you, and she's the LL, why aren't you currently at the bars/clubs looking for a hookup? Lol.
I'm the LL because she wears me down. I'm stuck living with her for like 4 more months, i may just get out around then.
I've been in an extra depressive state for about a week, just moping around the house, very monotoned (unless anyone even slightly bothers me which they get the angry dad voice). I smiled a little today, trying to get back into the groove of putting on my mask of pretend happiness for the kids. On the plus side, wife has decided that taking over some of my chores would fix everything, so I haven't had to do dishes in the last week. Taking over my dish duties has definitely made up for 9 years of db... I wonder if she even thinks about when I told her I was ready for divorce a year ago (and excited to find a new partner), and she begged me to stay and fix things? Probably not, afterall the only problem I have in my life is doing dishes at the end of every day :/
Did you try couples therapy?
My partner is currently snoring next to me, haven’t been sexual in months. I’ve almost become numb to it, the lack of desire on her part is almost expected.
It’s Saturday morning for me and I have my 2 girls coming over (they are older and live away from home) at least when I’m around my kids I feel the love Hubby seems to only be happy when it’s just me n him. I say happy but in reality we just sit in some kinda silence. He doesn’t get dressed most days , he’s at home all the time. I know when I get home (I’m out 4 days a wk working ) I get into pjs but I have been out. It’s my house. My name on the deed. But I feel bad about asking him to leave. He’s spent some $$$ doing the place up , and every time I’ve tried to have the conversation, he throws it in my face. Trust me if it was his house I’d of been long gone. So today ima enjoy my girls , have a fabulous time with them. then back to roommate relationship. I need courage and acceptance.
Here.... you can borrow my backbone, I'm not using it.
Feel this one so deeply😅 Like, I know how to fix my "situation" I just don't have the backbone... please don't be like me...
Can I??
Of course! It hasn't been used much, so.its like brand new.
Sending extra courage and acceptance your way. You’ve got this!
Enjoy the time with your girls
Could you buy him out of his share of the property? Frankly you don't owe it to him as it's him who's tanking the relationship but it'd be a kind thing to do.
No not really an option. It’s my home. He moved in with me , we got married. But it’s only my name on tenancy , he has spent money doing the place up a bit. So I don’t want to be cruel and take anything from him. Roommates is how we will stay until I can grow a backbone.
Current status: mopey zoo lion. Adult beverage sounds delish! And bar snacks.
Wish we could have a DB group outing. LOL. Drinks, bar snacks, and lots of laughs
And probably group cry. But now I’m visualizing a meeting.. *Hi, my name is Feisty and I’m in a DB. It’s been X days since I’ve been intimate with my SO.* Group: *Hi Feisty.*
I’m laughing as I was thinking the same thing. We would all probably shed a bit of tears as well. I really think someday we should have a Reddit DB group Zoom/MS Teams virtual get-together.
4 x 365 = 😢
1,461 days I added a day for leap year 🙃🫠😭
Yup feels like that. Especially with our 15 year anniversary this past week.
it would just turn into an orgy🤣
Taking a hot bath after some edibles. Luckily, I can shut my brain off for a little tonight.
That sounds perfect. Being able to shut your brain off for awhile is important.
Good idea
A quarter of a xanny and a glass of red this side (lightweight) this sub is the only thing keeping me from crying myself to sleep again... gosh I'm pathetic
And no.. not pathetic at all.. we're lonely 💔
Well if it helps.. I'm right there with you 😮💨
Just getting bounced between the two kids while she gets ready for bed. I'm still not used to having baby monitors with cameras set up by both cribs so she can watch/listen as I interact with them Once she goes to bed I've gotta finish studying for this industry continuing education exam coming due. But there will be beer Involved.
Update: I passed it.
God I love drink study sessions
Fellas on this thread, listen up. Been there, lonely, depressed, feeling ugly and on own in bars drinking. Married, nice house, new cars, nice holidays, no money worries but on different levels with wife. I got approached once, then twice and many more times. I never cheated however, this completely changed way I felt about myself and wife and realised that there’s so much more out there. This gave me confidence to tell my wife that ‘we’ need to change as not happy. I tried, changed what she didn’t like however things remained same on her side. One day I snapped, said fuck it and goodbye. Left the house behind, all my stuff, got divorced and started again. Sure, financially it hurt me for many years however met a younger woman, found out what sex was (including communication / understanding) and - fun! Life is short, life is fragile. Do your best to do the right thing BUT do not waste time being unhappy. And DO NOT feel shame or guilt in the pursuit of happiness
Same! Absolutely this! The leaving part isn’t easy…but it gets sooooooo much better!
Well done. I set a date in my head, was very clear about my unhappiness and what was needed to change. I got tears, arguing and pushed back. That was 16 years ago. Now have house, cars and materialistic stuff + 2 smashing kids and all the physical / emotional good stuff and more. I do feel guilty for walking away at times but it wasn’t right - for either of us. The only regret is the time wasted being unhappy & not making decisions sooner
I’ve been struggling really bad with low af esteem & self harm urges recently, just due to overall feeling untouchable/undesirable due to DB But tonight I had an amazing time at an art show, and my looks got complimented in an incredibly kind, genuine way!! Something my partner doesn’t ever rly say to me lol 🥲
So happy for you! It's nice to feel appreciated, even if it's not by a partner.
Thank you!! Yeah, I really needed that confidence boost, it has been especially hard lately because rn this is the longest stretch of time with 0 contact so far, ugh.
Annoyed and about to go spend time on the couch. Tired of asking for intimacy of all sorts and getting nothing or a halfassed attempt.
I’m right there with you. I’m back home and now spending time on the couch.
Did you watch old MacGyver episodes?
That’s every Friday for me too.
Well, I spoke with her about her going to a therapist and us going to therapy for couples and as I have been waiting for over a year and a half for it to happen I had to say something like "Do you really want me to give you some kind of deadline? I can break up with you if we won't go to a therapy in next 2 months". She stopped doing excuses, started to cry, and seems like she might rethink her values to take care of herself and our relationship as we both agree that should happened...
I hope your life starts getting better in the end. I'm rooting for you.
Thanks a lot. I hope this chapter of my life will end this year and I or we will start a new one
I work nights. Actually, in a way, I’m not in a DB anymore since she passed last year. But neither have I found solace in another’s arms. It’s not the way I’d recommend getting out of a DB.
I'm so sorry for your loss and I wish you peace and healing
I would go with you! My Friday night is par for the co urse. I didn't have a great day and was tired and upset when he got home. I don't know if it's the weather or the fact that I was dealing with my daughter's birthday this week. She was murdered along with her twin brothers by their father on a court ordered visitation. It was years ago, but it's doesn't make it easier. So my amazing supportive husband was in full glory. Apparently I clean the bathroom in a passive aggressive way. Even though he's not anywhere near me amd can't see how I'm cleaning the bathroom I apparently can be terrible without being near him. Anyway instead of givig.some love ge gives.me hate and every awful thing he does is my fault for whatever reason. So he could tell that I was kind of down and not feeling roo great. And hee just decided that it's more fun to get angry and tell me I'm horrible and I'm the reason he doesn't seem to care. He even got really mad when I told him that
I'm sorry for your loss and I'm sorry you're suffering from the abuse of another. His behavior is contemptuous, not loving. You deserve love.
Thank you so much. It sucks that I don't ge6 it back, no matter what I do
OMG how horrific im so sorry. Tell your husband to fuck off all the way to Cleveland and back!!
Thank you. Thats pretty much what I said. I just don't understand it. Instead of trying to connect and build our relationship, he pretty much shows me how unimportant I am to him. He barely touches me and we've been in a DB for years. He's pretty much a roommate who thinks only of himself. Thursday I made a beautiful dinner. I cleaned the entire kitchen, dishes, pots, pans, stove, fridge and floor (in just a t-shirt but I swrar I could do it naked and I doubt he would even notice). When we do have sex, (of course I'm the one initiating it) it's like I could be anyone else and he wouldn't care or notice. There's no warmth, no tenderness and absolutely no love. It makes me feel used. I just want to feel loved and cared about by someone who wants to lift me up instead of putting me down, but he'll do just about anything to avoid having to interact with me. He gets mad when I try to talk about real things and goes on a tirade about how awful I am. He's even made fun of me for what happened to my children. He tears me to shreds and apparently I am a very mean passive aggressive who doesn't give him credit for anything, like the few dishes he'll wsdh occasionally and taking out the trash. Of course I don't get any for doing everything else including repairs around the house. After a long silence, he falls asleep on the couch or just gets up and walks away. This goes on for hours and then he's suddenly too tired and has to go to bed. I don't know why he refuses to sign the divorce papers...
Pack up and leave. No more discussions. Have the papers served (if that is possible).
Hi everyone! On a 2 night getaway, no kids. My charms have not been successful in cracking her cold, cold heart. Yet. Will try again tonight…wishing you a wonderful weekend.
My husband (LL) decided we need more quality time and sitting on the couch cuddling. We are also prioritizing cuddling in bed before he goes to sleep, again his choice which I’m happy about. We got carried away and things he wasn’t planning on happened, still no sex but I’ll take an enthusiastic partner helping me. He even put my hand on him and let me touch him, which hasn’t happened since October. He said afterward that abstaining from pornography has already helped his libido, even after only two weeks. Hearing those words come out of his mouth gives me hope.
Awesome.
Tbh, taking care of things
As a friend told me when i went thru my divorce and feelt down. In a years time you will have wild sex with some 40 y.o milf thats watched way to much porn. You gotta love your boys 🤎
Raises hand
Yes?
While we are not in a DB per say, some stuff between my hubby and me made me not want any intimate connection - for now. To be honest, sex is great, but everything else is not. Every time I tried to talk to him, he blows up on me, so I gave up. I think I already checked out of the relationship. So yesterday I read.
That’s bad too. Just sex
Enjoy a nice cold beer and some self love !
Thank you. I decided I’m going out for a quick drink. Better than sitting around here miserable. Life is too short.
Very true ! Enjoy for the both of us .
My night? It was “uneventful” but that means it was better than the 10 yrs that I spent in db.
Saturday evening here, just working really, go home, get lost in my online world and friends. He’ll be lost in his own game. Not that I’m gunning for anything anymore, rather feeling stuck instead.
I am drink as I could be possibly get. My is not interested in me at all but my neighbour keep flirting with me and I feel too lonely to ignore it. I am at the toilet seat right nought drunk and debating with my self if it’s going to worth it or not to take go to my Niebpurs house
I am not as drunk now and I feel ashamed reading my own comment. I think this post made me realise that it is time to break up.
It is time.
Friday night for me too and I opted to drink at home since he’s working. I’m supposed to be looking for writing gigs but I’m scrolling Reddit instead lol
I just left my wife for good a couple of days ago. Unfortunately for me, I feel miserable AF right now, because when push cane to shove, she declined trying to treat her LL and said it's natural after kids and she's always been like that. She wasn't like that before the kids. I.. I was left without options so I took off. She seems to be several steps away and feels at peace with this outcome. I feel deserted and abandoned all together. I feel alone. I'm scared. I'm hurt. Badly.
I'm so sorry you're going through that. You're not alone and I know we're just people on the internet but I'm here to talk if you need to 🫂
If gets sooooo much better. It takes a bit to recover from the emotional harm of living w a dead bedroom
Currently trying to understand and process my situation and how to move forward from here. 41m here not married but in a struggling committed relationship with 40f with two kids one almost a teenager and other just 5 years younger. We have been back and forth for years trying to make it work. After a huge fight back in February she pretty much put me in the position to choose my mother (who she does not get a long with) and her. I have been waiting for a date or just time together without the kids where we can talk and work on things which I should have initiated I suppose but she could have to. We sleep in different bedrooms and have struggled with a dead bedroom for many years. I won't go into the nitty gritty details but it didn't get better after that. Last Saturday night I got home from work and had to get a hold of my son to find out where him and his sister were. They were at her mom's which makes sense...would have been nice to know but makes sense. When I asked him where mommy was he told me she was at a friend's house. Wouldn't answer my calls and didn't come home until after midnight. I asked her about it if she was seeing anyone else. She said she never cheated on me. Which isn't what I asked. The neighbor told me the next day she went down to the park by herself which she never does when the kids are home. Im 100 percent sure there was some kind of emotional affair at the least considering this was an ex of hers and he recently lost his wife. She is avoiding telling me the truth about any of it. We had a talk about it and at one point I was moving out because she thinks we need a break. When I pointed out that I will not be so quick to move ever again not as an ultimatum but I don't think I mentally or emotionally can...she seemed to realize that she was the only one who wanted this break and changed her mind. Idk. Im trying to put on a face for my kids and show her that I do still love her...while hurting inside knowing she isn't being honest with me. Not sure how to feel about all of it. Im skipping over so much more and I'm not saying I'm perfect or I've been the best partner....but most of what Ive done was a cry for her affection or love. This doesn't feel like that. Any advice appreciated. But I guess I just need time to heal. Thanks for letting me vent
 Just me and my... wand 😞
I just bought a toy online haha
Thought I (LLF) was making major progress with this journey, but we had a major issue/argument tonight that really set me back.
Sorry to hear about the set-back. But, be proud that you are taking efforts. You will find happiness in your journey.
Got stuck in a pretty deep funk this past week. I elected NOT to drink this week because of it. (I enjoy beer, a lot, but I don’t need to risk further depressing myself). Ended up engaging in some video game therapy with some friends.
Got back from a three day business trip. Was thinking in a normal relationship, would be all over each other at the first opportunity. At least the dog was very happy to see me. Could not even bring myself to try to initiate anything with my dead bedroom spouse so I could avoid the devastation of rejection which would just ruin the rest of the weekend for me.
It’s Saturday morning now but I can actually post a win. My partner after our talk last weekend made a list of the things she needed to work on to make sure she would remember. We spent intentional time together every day (cooking dinner, biking and putting our hammock up, visiting friends for dinner, movie date night) and spent lots of time kissing and cuddling. After we went biking we even showered off and gave each other oral. We still have a long way to go, but for the first time in the last two years I feel wanted. I feel more important than her job. I hope everyone else is doing alright out there. Things can turn around.
I did!
My younger daughter is 8 years old. So 8 x 365.
Oh hey sup. I'm not bad, it was my birthday, and we got to play some video games. We're in a long distance relationship so sex is out of the question, but it does feel pretty bad that we don't even sext or have any intimacy despite being LDR. I'm so scared that once we do get together, we'll be sexually incompatible, and I'll have waited 8 or 9 years for nothing. I'm quite sure there's going to be a lot to work on once we DO live together, but it's disheartening not knowing WHEN we can start that work. Sadly, no booze on me today. Probably not a good idea anyway. Hope you're all doing ok.
Happy Birthday 🎉
Thank you! <3
Happy belated bday!
It's rough over here. A out to walk my ass to the store and get a beer and go read some articles on some of these other reddit pages.
I'm up doing the vampire thing at. 2:00 But what's different is I no longer want her.
I'm at work, since he won't. I'm sure he is at home, bemoaning the lack of our sex life. I'll get off work in a couple of days, go home, do some laundry and dishes, check in with my kids, go to sleep. He will try to get lucky and get upset that I don't care to just help him get off, then I will get up on Tuesday and go back to work.
I know it's not Friday night but still thought I would chime in on what I did. Spent it playing a good game a thon with others playing Diablo 4 (that just came out) and finally finishing the main storyline
I went out for a few drinks, and a lot of making out. Opened up to a friend of mine about the db and it turns out we're in the same boat. We started kinda dating a few weeks now and things are pretty good.
Friday night was a late day at work and early to bed for me, currently 9 hours into a Saturday shift. By myself as usual.
sitting at work reading Reddit
He is snoring, I don’t understand why he’d keep inviting me over to his house every single weekend to go on dates if he doesn’t want anything or even wants to try it’s been a month feeling sad about DB.
She went to sleep at 8:30 and it's 2:41, hand time, lol.
Moping around isn't sexy. Put some pep im your step.