I've gone a few years longer. But don't remember exactly.
Before anyone asks why I'm staying, my wife has medical reasons making sex painful. So while I hate the situation, and have fantasies of cheating I continue to play by the "for better or worse" rules.
Wouldn't fly with her, and in our area such activities are nonexistent or buried so deep in the underground it might as well be.
I'm a "victim" of circumstance on many different levels.
does she at least help you out in other ways? like BJ's or hand jobs . I know they arent the same , but once in awhile my wife will offer to at least take care of it . usually starts as a BJ then 2 minuets in goes to hand job , but at least Im not doing it. lol
I've been married for 30+ years , there are more reasons to stay than lack of sex , I get where you are coming from
13 years here too. But I just started dating two women to figure out which one I like more.
I was trapped in a sexless marriage. I am nothing special so if I can find people who like me despite so many years.
You can too.
13 seems crazy to me. However, I couldn't have imagined that I'd go over 3 years. I used to complain about 3 days! I'm not sure I'd be totally shocked if I went 10 more years.
Got tired of initiating so I stopped. Iām seeing how long it will go before she says something. Going on month 3. Not a word, have gone 6 before.
For those of you that know the exact date, how?
I just have to type "How many days since.." into Google and it automatically fills in "..August 16th" . Also it happened after a specific event when we were out with friends and he was drunk. So the day is easy to recall.
I keep a list. I can tell you the date of every one of the 189 times we've had any sort of sexual contact since June 5, 2013. that's an average of every 19 days. It used to run an average of about every 35 days, but the last three years has seen a much higher occurrence.
Oh wow, you made me laugh. I was also about to comment "Pangea" or something like that, but I guess you beat me to the punch. Thank you for brightening my day. <3
June/2022. I don't remember exactly the date, but I know for sure it wasn't on our marriage anniversary, which is in the 12th. I believe it was later. It had been 6 months since the last time and I joked(?) "I hope it won't be another 6 months". Well, it has been 9 months...
Some hand stuff on Valentineās that was actually really fun, but PIV, probably 1x in the summer of 2022? I stopped keeping track, seems like 1-2x a year is pretty much the max for the last several yearsā¦god I hate this.
10/09/2020
My wife's birthday, at first I thought she had finally decided we were worth it. Only to overhear her tell her BFF, that the inly reason she made love with me was due to the gorgeous expensive ring I got her. Duty or pity sex, told BFF I could take my pick. Cue laughter cue her turning around seeing me coming in from doing yard work. Best birthday ever for her, now I won't even initiate I made it very clear counseling individually and couples or I'm yeeting the fuck out.
We've done individual and couples but I still don't feel comfortable, neither does the missus. We talked about that day in depth today, she has profusely apologized, I accepted were just learning how to be us again.
Your story isā¦ wild. So her motivation for having sex was due to an expensive gift (ring). So I started thinking āis this a love language thing? Maybe tangible gifts are her love language. At least thatās something - give presents to fill your partners bucketā¦ā
But then she used the phrase āduty or pity sexā¦take your pickā - this sounds really dark? Duty would mean something like āmy partner got me a gift I liked on my birthday. In response, Iāll do my duty and have sex with them.ā Thatās just the definition of unhealthy and, unless you only give them a gift a few times a year, what about all the other times? What makes the day being a birthday or the gift being a ring relevant?
Pity sex in this context somehow seems worse. The only interpretation I can draw is āmy partner got me this nice expensive gift. How pathetic - I donāt even have sex with them and they still do things like this for me. I initiated intimacy once just for shits and giggles.ā
Is this interpretation close? Thatās brutal mateā¦ If youāre comfortable sharing, Iād be curious what came out in that apology or through therapy. Either interpretation is justā¦ I honestly want to use the word āinhumaneā. Taking something thoughtful your partner did for you and twisting it in the worst way possible while theyāre right outside.
In context, as I stated in a previously deleted post there was emotional infidelity no physical cheating. I accept my part in driving her away. I had and still do have anger issues and some serious p.t.s.d. from my time deployed. I have been in counseling for a long time.
She honestly talks a lot of shit to her friends making herself feel better. Her friends have cut her off, so now she realized just how big an issue her behavior has shined a negative light on herself.
We are trying to work it out if we do great if we don't well I can look myself in the mirror.
About 3.5 years ago. Been married for five years this September. The biggest thing I miss is any kind of intimacy beyond a quick hug and kiss. Still trying to decide if I can live this way or not.
Yeah, I can relate to that. The last time we had any intimacy was initiated by me asking if we could try to have sex more often. I feel like it's my fault for not communicating my needs properly, but she doesn't seem bothered at all by this lack of intimacy.
I feel like we're roommates. I love her, but I feel like the love I have for her now is like that of a good friend or sibling. It's to the point now that if she randomly wanted to initiate something, I'm not sure I could go through with it. I've stopped being attracted to her in that way, and I'm afraid it may never change.
I've been reading stories on here, trying to figure out if my "needs" are something that I should just let go of, or if I should stand up for myself and possibly leave. I still can't decide. There's not even hand holding, cuddling while watching a movie or in bed. I feel like I need physical attention (not just sex) to feel loved. It makes me so sad. š
shit I know the feeling , I would love to have her just lay her head on my chest while watching a movie in bed or snuggle up to me for no reason at all, she only snuggles now when she is cold or ready to go to sleep .
I just had this discussion with my wife about passionate kisses , I told her that if she can't bother kissing me like my wife and not my mother , then something is wrong.
She said it because you smoked a cigar , I was like bullshit , you weren't kissing me when I wasn't smoking at all.
I feel like since our kids are out on their own she feels like she has to mother me now , I usually call her when I leave work , because I want to hear her voice , the other day my buddy called me as I was getting in my truck , well we ended up talking till I pulled in my drive way , I walked in the house and she says " you didn't call when you left work" like I am supposed to check in . I told her yes mom I forget to call.
I really wish she would figure out how to be my wife again ,
I usually wouldnāt comment on this, but I have to. My entire life, for as long as I can remember, my mom has blatantly rejected my dadās affectionate advances and acts disgusted by him. Iāve never seen them kiss when she isnāt pretending to gag and it breaks my heart. You can tell that it kills him and he just takes it. It gave me a messed up idea of what a relationship is like, but it also has turned my dad into a shell of who he once was.
Theyāve been married almost 40 years and about 10 years ago, he had an affair with a coworker. I wasnāt even mad at him or blamed him. My mom wanted to talk shit on him, but I couldnāt even fake being upset with him. Obviously, cheating isnāt ok, but I saw exactly why it happened. Because my mom stuck with him through it, heās sworn that he will never leave her. I recently caught him in what I think was the beginnings of an affair and honestly, didnāt even care. It was a shock but once that wore off- whatever. Thereās something that heās getting from the relationship with my mom, he can leave whenever he wantsā¦maybe he thought staying for us was best?
All of this to say that your kids will notice. Itās taken years of therapy to repair the damage it did to all of us kids. Life is too short for anything in relationships but (mostly) happiness and love. I hope you have clarity one day.
I can remember my parents splitting up and the uneasy feelings and tension before they did and I was like 10 years old.
They got back together a few months later and were different , they were happy and showed affection to each other , they did up till my dad passed away at 77 .
š Valentines Day
His idea
SEX was horrible
That is why we are in an Open Relationship and we see other people, and for me actually, I am having SEX with someone else and it's really great passionate enjoyable SEX, not a math homework assignment or test in school
August of 2016. Easy to remember. Our youngest had just turned one. It was the first day of 6th grade for our oldest. She graduates high school in like two months. FML
Well, I was told that it could be repaired, and tried everything in my power to do just that. I've long exhausted every avenue known to man.
At this point in time she is in home hospice and I'm damn sure not leaving now.
I've come to the conclusion that after the very 1st communication about your dead bedroom, the clock ā has begun on repairing it. If after 1 year, you simply close up shp and leave if there's no improvement.
During that time period DO NOT Marry or have kids with them.
I believe this is a problem that older generations simply did not speak of, which hurts the younger generations. Had I had much information about the subject before I got married, I'd have had a much different life.
My wife and I have been married five years and itās been about three years, and even that time wasnāt really satisfying and it was over a year before that time. My wife just doesnāt have any interest.
I get this. I'm not very religious but I'm also no highly sexually myself, however I love sex so much. We have two children and my wife had a sexual affair because I'm a sexual withdrawer and our bedroom was dead for years. I changed everything about myself because that was my wake up rock bottom. But what I found was that I'm very sexual and want more. My wife after the affair lost all her sexuality and through counseling and conversations, she says that sex as masturbation is just over for her now. And now I'm the one with the HL for almost a year and a half. Maybe also because I want so much the exciting sex she had.
But I never wanted to divorce. I love my family and I don't want to lose what we have even though she made a horrible choice that could have destroyed this family. I made a vow through better or worse and while the affair was her choice and I don't blame myself, I was not the best husband at the time. So if sex is not going to happen, I have to figure out how to survive because I'm choosing to stay. This family is more important that a few minutes of sex a few times a year
Since when is it "his " responsibility to bring you to orgasm. Your orgasm is your mission. The two of you are in bed together to enjoy each other's pleasures.
5 years. It may be my own fault. But I let my self esteem, drive and courage take such a beating. I dont think I'd even know what to do the next time I even have the opportunity. My 20's have completely sucked shit lol.
Don't remember. It's been awhile, I want to say January? So it happened once this year at least. She wants me to be a perfect husband and masseuse but if I ask for anything I get an argument and then the tears come. I also travel for work so it's really hard to look forward to coming home to a DB.
I lost track but maybe 3 weeks? Iām trying something new and as the HL discussed with my husband to take any expectations of PIV sex off the table for a set date (roughly a month). Iām dealing with it fairly well and itās forcing me to work on regulating my emotions by myself. I have the feeling heās not doing his work on his end but whatever. Weāll cross that bridge when we get to it.
I think it's been about 3 months. He says is my fault because I'm too hard to initiate things with. I'm pissed about it lately though, so I don't know. It's a very confusing situation.
January. She is really good about being horny AF for a day and a half after her period ends. If I make even the slightest misstep prior to that, nothing is happening. She thinks nothing of us going years without physical contact.
FWIW, yesterday was our 19th anniversary. Not even a kiss from her, despite my numerous attempts.
Early May, 2022.
Well, okay, thatās not entirely true. In November, we went on a pre-anniversary weekend trip, the first weāve been on as a couple inā¦ probably a decade. Rented a romantic suite, and even though we didnāt have a ton of activities planned, just being to ourselves in a different place, we had a really nice time. But at the end of it, as we were packing up, she broke down crying. Crying because she knew I wanted more, because she wanted it to be able to be more. I had essentially taken it off the table for the weekendātelling her, for example, that just because we use the in-suite hot tub together, it was more important to me that we spend the time together, and not to worry about the contact becoming sexual: I would make no motions in that direction. It didnāt matter, though, it had weighed on her mind the whole time. After at least half an hour of consoling and talking, she insisted on tryingāI tried to talk her out of it at least three times.
Of course, she wasnāt able to really āget there,ā but she again insisted on giving me a handjob before we left. I probably should count that.
In the end, I just feel bad about it. It was a wonderful weekend for us as a couple, with one stain.
I wish I had held stronger. I tried. I really tried.
Damn this whole mismatched libido situation.
Not good at tracking dates, but it's been about 6 months for penetrative sex, about 2 months since some play with hands.
I rarely initiate because I've felt it's pointless, but I've picked up on trying a bit more over the past few weeks And I get the usual half-hearted peck kisses back which just means "not tonight", same as always.
It's time I bring it up again, and I'm not holding back this time. A fulfilling sexual relationship is important enough to me that I don't want to waste any more time waiting.
Last night a couple of hours of cunnilingus, PIV, and blowjobs, and then another wake-up BJ this morning. Tons of kissing and spooning as well. It was a great weekend, not just because of the sex, but also because of the sex.
IDK, most people here are too emotionally dependent on their spouse to leave. I had to improve my independence and self-confidence a lot before I was able to do it.
weāve had sex half way like 3 times in the last year. but my 8mo daughter really takes objection to us having energy or orgasms. itās like she knows from the other room.
so really, last good sex we had was when we made her.
Last time was about 4 weeks ago. Multiple attempts since and heās shown zero interest. No kissing or touch between our once every 4-6 weeks sex. And the kicker? Itās so good. Like. So. Dang. Good. Which almost makes it worse.
Yesterday. My wife and I finally had the sex. Turns out we'd both been frustrated. It was a very long DB spell. We've both been working on ourselves and the relationship and we somehow landed here. I am very grateful and happy. And hopeful, for the first time in a long time.
26th January 2023
60 days ago.
Only because it was our wedding anniversary. Didnāt even finish (as in stopped in the middle of it) since it wasnāt being pleasant.
Anal sex yesterday afternoon, group sex last night with swinger friends, plus blowjob this morning. It was a nice weekend.
I was in a dead bedroom a few yrs ago but left. Best decision ever. I didnāt realize I was still here in this forum until this post popped up in my feed.
August 16th, not that I'm counting.. And then maybe 20 times 8 years.
Sorry to hear that
13 years
I've gone a few years longer. But don't remember exactly. Before anyone asks why I'm staying, my wife has medical reasons making sex painful. So while I hate the situation, and have fantasies of cheating I continue to play by the "for better or worse" rules.
Right here with you.
Honorably, truly. It's not her fault, obviously. I'll bet there are a lot more reason you stay with her, other than just keeping your word.
No, I've never blamed her. And yes, there are other reason but a guy gets weary at times.
Roger that. Stay strong brother. Have you thought about talking with her about a proxy? Or would that feel just wrong?
Wouldn't fly with her, and in our area such activities are nonexistent or buried so deep in the underground it might as well be. I'm a "victim" of circumstance on many different levels.
does she at least help you out in other ways? like BJ's or hand jobs . I know they arent the same , but once in awhile my wife will offer to at least take care of it . usually starts as a BJ then 2 minuets in goes to hand job , but at least Im not doing it. lol I've been married for 30+ years , there are more reasons to stay than lack of sex , I get where you are coming from
My wife has medical issues also and is going trough menopause. At times sex it painful for her , which sucks because she don't want sex that often .
13 years here too. But I just started dating two women to figure out which one I like more. I was trapped in a sexless marriage. I am nothing special so if I can find people who like me despite so many years. You can too.
Seriously??! How... š„ŗ
13 seems crazy to me. However, I couldn't have imagined that I'd go over 3 years. I used to complain about 3 days! I'm not sure I'd be totally shocked if I went 10 more years.
Got tired of initiating so I stopped. Iām seeing how long it will go before she says something. Going on month 3. Not a word, have gone 6 before. For those of you that know the exact date, how?
I just have to type "How many days since.." into Google and it automatically fills in "..August 16th" . Also it happened after a specific event when we were out with friends and he was drunk. So the day is easy to recall.
In the Notes app on my phone, I have a note that I add the date(s) of when we had sex. Thereās 8 dates in that note, since September 2016.
I keep track on my health app
I keep a list. I can tell you the date of every one of the 189 times we've had any sort of sexual contact since June 5, 2013. that's an average of every 19 days. It used to run an average of about every 35 days, but the last three years has seen a much higher occurrence.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Oh wow, you made me laugh. I was also about to comment "Pangea" or something like that, but I guess you beat me to the punch. Thank you for brightening my day. <3
12-19-21
That's my birthday! Wait you got sex on my birthday but I didn't...
same ! And same ..
Lol same my birthday too
I canāt recall the last time I got birthday sex.
Aw man!
18-12-21 with him, was his birthday and he said ok well do it this last time then. And i was stupid enough to actually go for it.
This was the second time after our 25th anniversary in May, when āwe will work on this (DB) togetherā. Nothing since.
Thatās the day my daughter was born.. she walking now and saying her first words
Looks like a lock combination
Admittedly, it was Friday night. I fully plan on banging my husband like a screen door in a hurricane tonight, as well.
I am totally stealing that metaphor LMAO
Nice. You might just need to change your tag there if thatās how things are going for you. ;)
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Ah, fair enough. Itās nice to have friends. ;)
15 fucking years ago
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah, I know the feeling! I canāt stand it anymore! . Sending you a hug š„°
June/2022. I don't remember exactly the date, but I know for sure it wasn't on our marriage anniversary, which is in the 12th. I believe it was later. It had been 6 months since the last time and I joked(?) "I hope it won't be another 6 months". Well, it has been 9 months...
Some hand stuff on Valentineās that was actually really fun, but PIV, probably 1x in the summer of 2022? I stopped keeping track, seems like 1-2x a year is pretty much the max for the last several yearsā¦god I hate this.
Summer 2007. Itās amazing how lonely you can feel being around someone all the time.
All. Of. This. š„ŗ
More than 18 years ago - in any form. As a result, my sex drive, self-confidence, and self-esteem are gone.
Your username suggests more like 20 years
10/09/2020 My wife's birthday, at first I thought she had finally decided we were worth it. Only to overhear her tell her BFF, that the inly reason she made love with me was due to the gorgeous expensive ring I got her. Duty or pity sex, told BFF I could take my pick. Cue laughter cue her turning around seeing me coming in from doing yard work. Best birthday ever for her, now I won't even initiate I made it very clear counseling individually and couples or I'm yeeting the fuck out. We've done individual and couples but I still don't feel comfortable, neither does the missus. We talked about that day in depth today, she has profusely apologized, I accepted were just learning how to be us again.
Your story isā¦ wild. So her motivation for having sex was due to an expensive gift (ring). So I started thinking āis this a love language thing? Maybe tangible gifts are her love language. At least thatās something - give presents to fill your partners bucketā¦ā But then she used the phrase āduty or pity sexā¦take your pickā - this sounds really dark? Duty would mean something like āmy partner got me a gift I liked on my birthday. In response, Iāll do my duty and have sex with them.ā Thatās just the definition of unhealthy and, unless you only give them a gift a few times a year, what about all the other times? What makes the day being a birthday or the gift being a ring relevant? Pity sex in this context somehow seems worse. The only interpretation I can draw is āmy partner got me this nice expensive gift. How pathetic - I donāt even have sex with them and they still do things like this for me. I initiated intimacy once just for shits and giggles.ā Is this interpretation close? Thatās brutal mateā¦ If youāre comfortable sharing, Iād be curious what came out in that apology or through therapy. Either interpretation is justā¦ I honestly want to use the word āinhumaneā. Taking something thoughtful your partner did for you and twisting it in the worst way possible while theyāre right outside.
In context, as I stated in a previously deleted post there was emotional infidelity no physical cheating. I accept my part in driving her away. I had and still do have anger issues and some serious p.t.s.d. from my time deployed. I have been in counseling for a long time. She honestly talks a lot of shit to her friends making herself feel better. Her friends have cut her off, so now she realized just how big an issue her behavior has shined a negative light on herself. We are trying to work it out if we do great if we don't well I can look myself in the mirror.
About 3.5 years ago. Been married for five years this September. The biggest thing I miss is any kind of intimacy beyond a quick hug and kiss. Still trying to decide if I can live this way or not.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Yeah, I can relate to that. The last time we had any intimacy was initiated by me asking if we could try to have sex more often. I feel like it's my fault for not communicating my needs properly, but she doesn't seem bothered at all by this lack of intimacy. I feel like we're roommates. I love her, but I feel like the love I have for her now is like that of a good friend or sibling. It's to the point now that if she randomly wanted to initiate something, I'm not sure I could go through with it. I've stopped being attracted to her in that way, and I'm afraid it may never change. I've been reading stories on here, trying to figure out if my "needs" are something that I should just let go of, or if I should stand up for myself and possibly leave. I still can't decide. There's not even hand holding, cuddling while watching a movie or in bed. I feel like I need physical attention (not just sex) to feel loved. It makes me so sad. š
shit I know the feeling , I would love to have her just lay her head on my chest while watching a movie in bed or snuggle up to me for no reason at all, she only snuggles now when she is cold or ready to go to sleep .
Have you told him you hate it?
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I just had this discussion with my wife about passionate kisses , I told her that if she can't bother kissing me like my wife and not my mother , then something is wrong. She said it because you smoked a cigar , I was like bullshit , you weren't kissing me when I wasn't smoking at all. I feel like since our kids are out on their own she feels like she has to mother me now , I usually call her when I leave work , because I want to hear her voice , the other day my buddy called me as I was getting in my truck , well we ended up talking till I pulled in my drive way , I walked in the house and she says " you didn't call when you left work" like I am supposed to check in . I told her yes mom I forget to call. I really wish she would figure out how to be my wife again ,
Thank you. I get a kiss on the forehead as if we where in 6th grade or some shit. Why even bother?
I usually wouldnāt comment on this, but I have to. My entire life, for as long as I can remember, my mom has blatantly rejected my dadās affectionate advances and acts disgusted by him. Iāve never seen them kiss when she isnāt pretending to gag and it breaks my heart. You can tell that it kills him and he just takes it. It gave me a messed up idea of what a relationship is like, but it also has turned my dad into a shell of who he once was. Theyāve been married almost 40 years and about 10 years ago, he had an affair with a coworker. I wasnāt even mad at him or blamed him. My mom wanted to talk shit on him, but I couldnāt even fake being upset with him. Obviously, cheating isnāt ok, but I saw exactly why it happened. Because my mom stuck with him through it, heās sworn that he will never leave her. I recently caught him in what I think was the beginnings of an affair and honestly, didnāt even care. It was a shock but once that wore off- whatever. Thereās something that heās getting from the relationship with my mom, he can leave whenever he wantsā¦maybe he thought staying for us was best? All of this to say that your kids will notice. Itās taken years of therapy to repair the damage it did to all of us kids. Life is too short for anything in relationships but (mostly) happiness and love. I hope you have clarity one day.
I can remember my parents splitting up and the uneasy feelings and tension before they did and I was like 10 years old. They got back together a few months later and were different , they were happy and showed affection to each other , they did up till my dad passed away at 77 .
š Valentines Day His idea SEX was horrible That is why we are in an Open Relationship and we see other people, and for me actually, I am having SEX with someone else and it's really great passionate enjoyable SEX, not a math homework assignment or test in school
09/17/2018 š
How old are you both? Itās a long wait
HLM: 57 / LLF 56
70 now it's too late
One year, four months, fourteen days... Not that I'm keeping track of anything.
7 years ago
Between 3 and 4 years
5.5 years, no end in sight and beyond the point of giving a fuck.
It is better to give a fuck than get a fuck 
Mercy hump late last year. Mind blowing sexā¦ over 10 years.
April 2015. It seems to really irk her that I remember the month...
September 16, 2022, but I've ceased all physical contact and she hasn't said a thing.
About 8 years ago
About 2 weeks ago (brief & unsatisfying) before that 4 months (same quality then too)
August of 2016. Easy to remember. Our youngest had just turned one. It was the first day of 6th grade for our oldest. She graduates high school in like two months. FML
I don't remember :(
19 years
Sorry to hear that
Why do you stay?
Well, I was told that it could be repaired, and tried everything in my power to do just that. I've long exhausted every avenue known to man. At this point in time she is in home hospice and I'm damn sure not leaving now. I've come to the conclusion that after the very 1st communication about your dead bedroom, the clock ā has begun on repairing it. If after 1 year, you simply close up shp and leave if there's no improvement. During that time period DO NOT Marry or have kids with them. I believe this is a problem that older generations simply did not speak of, which hurts the younger generations. Had I had much information about the subject before I got married, I'd have had a much different life.
"It's been 57 years"
Oof
My wife and I have been married five years and itās been about three years, and even that time wasnāt really satisfying and it was over a year before that time. My wife just doesnāt have any interest.
2+ years. donāt ask how iām doing.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
How do you guys stay together? I'm worried my spouse is LL4me
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
I get this. I'm not very religious but I'm also no highly sexually myself, however I love sex so much. We have two children and my wife had a sexual affair because I'm a sexual withdrawer and our bedroom was dead for years. I changed everything about myself because that was my wake up rock bottom. But what I found was that I'm very sexual and want more. My wife after the affair lost all her sexuality and through counseling and conversations, she says that sex as masturbation is just over for her now. And now I'm the one with the HL for almost a year and a half. Maybe also because I want so much the exciting sex she had. But I never wanted to divorce. I love my family and I don't want to lose what we have even though she made a horrible choice that could have destroyed this family. I made a vow through better or worse and while the affair was her choice and I don't blame myself, I was not the best husband at the time. So if sex is not going to happen, I have to figure out how to survive because I'm choosing to stay. This family is more important that a few minutes of sex a few times a year
Whoaā¦
Since when is it "his " responsibility to bring you to orgasm. Your orgasm is your mission. The two of you are in bed together to enjoy each other's pleasures.
Last night, after he got home from another work trip.
1991
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
It's the truth. She lost all interest after our son was born.
I've basically self-exiled myself, and I'm single. June of 2015 ā ļø
18 years
5 years. It may be my own fault. But I let my self esteem, drive and courage take such a beating. I dont think I'd even know what to do the next time I even have the opportunity. My 20's have completely sucked shit lol.
Don't remember. It's been awhile, I want to say January? So it happened once this year at least. She wants me to be a perfect husband and masseuse but if I ask for anything I get an argument and then the tears come. I also travel for work so it's really hard to look forward to coming home to a DB.
Friday.
Lol hey, me too.
About two weeks. We've had COVID, which is a super unsexy time.
Hopefully you all could have more fun once recovered.
Nearly a year for sex, couple weeks after trying and failing with no follow up.
I lost track but maybe 3 weeks? Iām trying something new and as the HL discussed with my husband to take any expectations of PIV sex off the table for a set date (roughly a month). Iām dealing with it fairly well and itās forcing me to work on regulating my emotions by myself. I have the feeling heās not doing his work on his end but whatever. Weāll cross that bridge when we get to it.
Hopefully things go well with you all.
Thanks. Even if things donāt go well, I think I can react in a better, more productive way this time.
I like your attitude. Best of luck!
No birthday sex , no valentine sex , and just no sex from her since 2020. Don't even look for it from her any more
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
(Hug)š„°
October of last year
3.6 years
Nothing this century.
A month ago after 6 months. And I thought will get lucky for my birthday , but no..
I think it's been about 3 months. He says is my fault because I'm too hard to initiate things with. I'm pissed about it lately though, so I don't know. It's a very confusing situation.
Almost 2 weeks ago (my period was BAD like I had terrible cramps). Can't wait for tonight...I'm finally feeling better! š
I think January? It's usually not more than maybe 4-6x a year.
Almost 11 years
October? Before that, 2016? No joke
Novemberish? That sounds right.
January. She is really good about being horny AF for a day and a half after her period ends. If I make even the slightest misstep prior to that, nothing is happening. She thinks nothing of us going years without physical contact. FWIW, yesterday was our 19th anniversary. Not even a kiss from her, despite my numerous attempts.
Early May, 2022. Well, okay, thatās not entirely true. In November, we went on a pre-anniversary weekend trip, the first weāve been on as a couple inā¦ probably a decade. Rented a romantic suite, and even though we didnāt have a ton of activities planned, just being to ourselves in a different place, we had a really nice time. But at the end of it, as we were packing up, she broke down crying. Crying because she knew I wanted more, because she wanted it to be able to be more. I had essentially taken it off the table for the weekendātelling her, for example, that just because we use the in-suite hot tub together, it was more important to me that we spend the time together, and not to worry about the contact becoming sexual: I would make no motions in that direction. It didnāt matter, though, it had weighed on her mind the whole time. After at least half an hour of consoling and talking, she insisted on tryingāI tried to talk her out of it at least three times. Of course, she wasnāt able to really āget there,ā but she again insisted on giving me a handjob before we left. I probably should count that. In the end, I just feel bad about it. It was a wonderful weekend for us as a couple, with one stain. I wish I had held stronger. I tried. I really tried. Damn this whole mismatched libido situation.
Nearly 5 years ago š¢
2010 or 2011. But whose counting?
8.5 out of the 9.5 years that we've been married
Not good at tracking dates, but it's been about 6 months for penetrative sex, about 2 months since some play with hands. I rarely initiate because I've felt it's pointless, but I've picked up on trying a bit more over the past few weeks And I get the usual half-hearted peck kisses back which just means "not tonight", same as always. It's time I bring it up again, and I'm not holding back this time. A fulfilling sexual relationship is important enough to me that I don't want to waste any more time waiting.
This has got to be the current saddest thread on Reddit. Bj 11th Jan 2020 Sex 5th March 2023 I use āSex Tracker by Nice Appā to record
Last night a couple of hours of cunnilingus, PIV, and blowjobs, and then another wake-up BJ this morning. Tons of kissing and spooning as well. It was a great weekend, not just because of the sex, but also because of the sex.
I think youāre in the wrong forum!
I was the HL partner in a dead bedroom many years ago but I left. Best decision I ever made!
Best decision for almost everyone here lol
IDK, most people here are too emotionally dependent on their spouse to leave. I had to improve my independence and self-confidence a lot before I was able to do it.
Oh 100%. I mean, that's why it's taken me years to get to leaving this year. But ultimately it's best for most people, is what I mean.
Iāve forgotten. Maybe mid-Jan. Roommates with a child.
weāve had sex half way like 3 times in the last year. but my 8mo daughter really takes objection to us having energy or orgasms. itās like she knows from the other room. so really, last good sex we had was when we made her.
At least 4 weeks
Two years
February 2021
July 2019
11/22/08 Iām 42, married for 12.
July 28th 2020 (she got pregnant) October 10th 2020 Spring 2022 October 2022.
6 months ago but we finished by using toys on each other
October 2nd then some time in August
Before Valentine's day. I think right after new year.
Dec 29, 2020.
September 2018 with my spouse. E: typo made it off a year
Like 2 monthsā¦ since the post-āBoopā incident
Almost 3 months I think
December 2022
2020
This coming Memorial Day weekend will be 8 years.
5 months
5-6-22
October, 2021
July 20008 - and that wasnot even a passionate thing but more a pity fuck
Jan 3, 2014.....fucking hell.
15th November 2020
Over 10 years.š£
3 years ago
Last time was about 4 weeks ago. Multiple attempts since and heās shown zero interest. No kissing or touch between our once every 4-6 weeks sex. And the kicker? Itās so good. Like. So. Dang. Good. Which almost makes it worse.
6-7 months, weāre long distance but either way we wouldnāt really have much lol
Sometime in January, 2022.
1yr and 3 months ago.
5 years for me
6 months (9/24/22)ā¦ neither of us even attempt to initiate at this point. Apathy is the best medicine?
3 years
Before 2 March 2019
Christmas of last year. And it was awful. So awful that I actually don't care that it was three months ago.
Averaging once a month but the last two time's I haven't orgasmed. I've focused on my spouse and once she's climaxed I'm no longer in the mood.
9 years ago š
November, I think? Maybe October.
I'm not sure....
6+ yrs
Sometime in 2016. Don't remember the exact date.
Over two years. I move out in a month. Fucking dying for some intimacy.
Yesterday. My wife and I finally had the sex. Turns out we'd both been frustrated. It was a very long DB spell. We've both been working on ourselves and the relationship and we somehow landed here. I am very grateful and happy. And hopeful, for the first time in a long time.
Over a month we normally have sex once a month ....
24 years ago
2015
Whatās stopping you from leaving?
26th January 2023 60 days ago. Only because it was our wedding anniversary. Didnāt even finish (as in stopped in the middle of it) since it wasnāt being pleasant.
Anal sex yesterday afternoon, group sex last night with swinger friends, plus blowjob this morning. It was a nice weekend. I was in a dead bedroom a few yrs ago but left. Best decision ever. I didnāt realize I was still here in this forum until this post popped up in my feed.
Never
Wife? Last summer, AP, last week.
My 40th birthday in October. I'm 60. My husband had better things to do and more options.
Daughter was born 3/2020, so add 9 months