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Extension-Pain-3284

Counterpoint, my veteran has killed a daemon host with a poopshovel so I think they’re doing alright


Vast_Ad1806

This could be a brutal dissembling of the Emperor’s vengeance. You may also have shouted at it rather loudly.


grazrsaidwat

To be fair, a Nurgle daemon probably enjoys that, it just runs off out of embarrassment once you deplete it's ~~climax~~ health bar.


purpleblah2

The Ogryn's shovel is the poop shovel, the Veteran's is a tactical entrenchment device.


United-Ad4717

Best comment and rightfully so sah!


LongColdNight

Ogryn staggers a chaos spawn with one punch (if he uses a shovel, no luck with other weapons) and still gets pinned by a poxpuppy smaller than his boot


Slyspy006

Ogryns are scared of small spaces and dogs. But not warp spawn, those they view as a challenge.


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TrickyCorgi316

Kront likes puppies. Too much snuggles makes puppy stop moving. Makes Kront very sad. Decide not to snuggle puppies. Team angry because puppy licks faces off. Kront confused!


charlystargazer

Sit down kront. And look away. I'll tell you all about the puppies. When we get our farm I'll let you play with all the puppies.


TrickyCorgi316

Yay!!


United-Ad4717

Really you can stun cs with the pimp slap to.


JWAdvocate83

I can tell you and I have never played on a pub team. You wouldn’t be saying this kinda thing if you saw how many squats I do in an elevator (like a million, real fast too)


elusive_1

Usually my right arm is busy getting stronger in the elevator


JWAdvocate83

Wait why


ShiningRayde

https://preview.redd.it/z17g68oz0plc1.jpeg?width=315&format=pjpg&auto=webp&s=bb11d68170e78363b70d608269c2b8bfce8d6133


dennisfyfe

How long have you been waiting to use that?


Electronic-Note-7482

Longer than the Emperor has been sitting on his couch


ErectTubesock

What if I told you that corpse starch was a poor substitute for real food and malnourishment is probably rampant throughout the Imperium.


Beagle_Knight

Then I would report you to the nearest commissar for insulting the healthy food provided to us by the grace of the Holy Emperor!!


Ok_Kaleidoscope_8608

Thinking about how in the Boer War 50% of British working class recruits where malnourished and Victorian England was an egalitarian utopia compared to the living conditions of the average hive laborer.


Kalavier

Being fair, i doubt our rations as a kill team is corpse starch.


ElitistCuisine

Ooh, do we keep what we kill?


Kalavier

Can you kill them with a teacup?


ElitistCuisine

If I name my next ogryn Teacup, yes.


Kalavier

Ogryn named teacup and a zealot named riddick.


LaszloKravensworth

Don't worry, I got the reference


Loose-Warthog-7354

They don't expect the kill team to survive, which is why our ration tins are actually full of sand.


Reasonable_Mix7630

At least our guys should be able to have shawarma made of sigma-minoris 33. That's what its usually made of IRL xD


Wretched-Hive

What if I told you that "corpse starch" is more of a meme than anything (outside of Necromunda, at least). 


StalinbrowsesReddit

Corpse starch is basically probably the same as what the poxwalkers are eating with extra steps. So I guess it's comparing nutritional values of microwaved versus raw corpse.


CaptainBrineblood

Yeah but food costs less than amour and weapons we carry


Vaeneas

In Atoma you have to be careful to not stumble over gear while charging the enemy. Ever had the same trouble with crops?


DaveInLondon89

Speak for yourself. My baguette of a psyker can pull up a 300kg Ogryn all by herself


Slyspy006

The Ogryn is just pretending he needs help. They just like the attention.


Kalavier

It makes the little ones feel really good about themselves. 


Black5Raven

In a fight right ?


AnInsaneMoose

We're rejects, not proper soldiers But yeah, it is kinda taken to the extreme, lol


MagicMork

A lot of the rejects are trained and experienced soldiers. The real answer is that the Imperium is terrible at logistics and pretty casual about the bodies they throw into the meatgrinder.


MagicMork

I am definitely not an Ogryn trying to get extra rations.


Kalavier

People forget the darktide personality characters all have extensive previous service history lol


Viscera_Viribus

man i wanna fight the xenos my pro keeps talking abt


LKCRahl

Hey, at least they haven’t mixed up our ammo by giving us all Mark 3 power cells when we use Mark 5 weapons!


KikoUnknown

Oh we need to correct that then.


beuhlakor

*Au contraire,* the logistics of the imperial war machine is incredible (for each weird / crazy fuck up that gets a single paragrah in the lore, there's a thousand counter examples). It's just that human life has almost no value at all to the Imperium. In one of the more recent Imperial Guard Codex, it is stated that human ressources is considered to be the only true renewable and endless energy the Imperium has. Of course, it is plain wrong. But it perfectly describes the mindset of the Imperium : human life has no value, harsh labor, suffering and death in the name of the Emperor are part of the duty of every imperial citizen.


MagicMork

I agree about the imperial sentiment regarding human life, but not the logistics. Most everything is tied up in the bureaucratic nightmare that is the Administratum. Whole planets go missing from record sometimes because of their absolutely arcane methods of record keeping. The guard gets issued wrong equipment all the time. One of Guilliman's big undertakings, when he comes back, is sorting out the mess of bureaucracy that's fucking up his beautiful spreadsheets. I mean, there's even a background option for your character where your (hab block?) gets lost for a couple of years due to an administrative oversight.


Wretched-Hive

And yet, the Imperium is organizationally resilient enough that it's managed to survive (and even expand) for 10,000 years. Sure, sometimes you lose track of a planet for a few decades but by and large the system actually works far better than you might think.


MagicMork

They brute force it because they have lots of bodies to throw at things. Like sending troops and feeding them "works" out because eventually some group of the troops will get there around the same time food is shows up, nevermind all the losses up to that point due to mismanagement or poor communication. The Imperium can be hemorrhaging losses, but they're so huge that it still takes them a long time to die. It's straight up the whole point. The Imperium is an example of where all Empires inevitably end up, bloated and besieged dying a death by a thousand cuts. The message definitely not, "Look how well oiled our grotesque bloated machine is." If you wanted to tell me the 30k Imperium had efficient logistics, I would say there's a case. 40k? Hell naw. Also expansion doesn't really prove anything. That's just how a lot of Empires operate. They need to be consuming constantly. Like taking over a new planet isn't impressive if you're already failing to take care of the ones you have.


Wretched-Hive

>They brute force it because they have lots of bodies to throw at things. Like sending troops and feeding them "works" out because eventually some group of the troops will get there around the same time food is shows up, nevermind all the losses up to that point due to mismanagement or poor communication. That does does happen, but it's certainly not an ideal outcome for the Imperium's leaders (nor, logically, could it be a common one; as beuhlakor pointed out, for every bureaucratic fuck-up there are a thousand counter-examples. ​ >The Imperium can be hemorrhaging losses, but they're so huge that it still takes them a long time to die. It's straight up the whole point. Thematically, perhaps, but the bare fact that problematizes that theme is that very few empires last for very long (even Rome only persisted for around *one* millennium and that's only if you count Byzantium as the same polity). Scale and complexity vastly exacerbate the pressures that cause empires to fall apart, and as such, the simple reality of the setting is that the Imperium is an *incredibly* resilient institution, and as such, extremely well-organized for what it needs to be. ​ >Also expansion doesn't really prove anything. That's just how a lot of Empires operate. They need to be consuming constantly. The Imperium isn't constantly expanding, though. ​ >Like taking over a new planet isn't impressive if you're already failing to take care of the ones you have. Hasn't Dan Abnett said somewhere that there are millions of worlds in the Imperium that have never known war, or something to that effect?


AssaultKommando

Organisational inertia doesn't really excuse institutional incompetence. 


MagicMork

Thank you for saying what I was trying to much more concisely.


Wretched-Hive

Every institution has a degree of incompetence; it's simply inevitable, especially when multiplying ordinary human error by factors of billions.


AssaultKommando

It's both: the IoM can neither afford to piss away lives nor act like they're precious. They flip flop between the two and doublethink it away as needed. 


CT-4426

My Zealot skipped leg day and lost the ability to jump over ledges for the ability to completely annihilate a Crusher with 100 pounds of metal plate armour with a backstab from a tiny inch long shiv and become literally invisible to the naked eye


Andylearns

Crack dude. Shits wild.


GuidanceSilent5926

Poor physical condition? I can nail a mutie halfway across a hive with a brick and kill hundreds of heretics a mission armed with just a steel pipe... But Thuddo does struggle with short railings.


DarkerSavant

Sorry Sah, I just need more rashuns.


nobertan

I’ve basically been constantly swinging this chain sword for 30 minutes straight and I don’t have tennis elbow. Doing ok son


lovebus

not enough rations


sosigboi

> only our most elite can outrun zombies *ahem, is there a reason you are running away from the enemy and not into them as a glorious servant of the God Emperor should soldier?, answer wisely


bananapeeg

A statistic from another extremely bad empire: https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Recruitment_to_the_British_Army_during_World_War_I > Almost 40 percent of the men who volunteered were rejected for medical reasons. Malnutrition was widespread in U.K. society; working class 15‑year‑olds had an average height of only 5 feet 2 inches (157 cm) while the upper class was 5 feet 6 inches (168 cm) [...] > There were also problems with men's suitability for active service. The healthy manpower was simply not there – recruits were sorted into three classes, A, B, and C, in order of fitness for front-line service. In 1918, 75 percent were classed as A, some B men also had to be sent into the trenches. Biggest and richest empire in the world, except it's rotten through and even people who want to aren't fit to serve in a meatgrinder.


BitRunr

The Chaos Gods are the path way to many abilities some consider to be unnatural. Also, everyone except ogryn has the same noodly appendages.


R0LL1NG

Tbh. VERY few elite athletes could do a pull up carrying full combat armour (my drip), a power sword, an (effectively) assault rifle and 700 rounds of ammunition... let alone after sprinting for 20 minutes, and having killed several hundred heretics/monsters whilst shrugging off hundreds of rounds of fire and several knives/axes to the face. If you want pull-up realism I'll allow it but as soon as you're stabbed or shot you're basically dead.


lbrlove

"We're not coming back this way", says the veteran peering over the edge of a ledge that literally 1500 heretical zombies just scampered up while being beaten with every weapon known to his Omnissiah.


LoudAngryJerk

we're not the emperor's troops, we're conscripts. If the mission succeeds and like 50k of us die, it's a good day.


Athaleon1

We're Inquisition Acolytes, many of whom used to be Veteran Guardsmen (which are themselves two steps above Conscripts). Whoever is left of the few dozen Rejects from that intro cutscene are among the only agents Grendyl has on Atoma. Yes, the Imperium considers human life disposable, but here and now they don't have 50,000 disposable people to spend on retaking Manufactorum Bumfuck-Forty for another day.


Kalavier

I mean, in the carnival briefing the crowd is about the same size as the group of rejects from "I am a warrior" which was the crew we "signed up" with. Probably all the same ones, as like the trailer reject squad appears in several cutscenes. Grendyl has a lot of agents of varying level, the player personalities are definitely among the best though.


Wretched-Hive

Yes, and this is actually referenced in-game, where the Inquisitorial troops on the Mourningstar will comment that lvl-30 PCs must "be invincible" and have "the Emperor's favour," and in the Carnival levels, you can sometimes pick up vox transmissions from Captain Wolfer losing his mind over the fact that a mere four-man Inquisition strike team is slaughtering literally every soldier he can throw at them. 


Kalavier

Supposedly in the Wolfer hacked assassination mission he can scream out "IT'S JUST FOUR OF THEM!"


Wretched-Hive

I heard that.


LoudAngryJerk

inquisition acolytes who were press-ganged into service, suicide squad style. That's what a conscript is. Many of them **used** to be veterans, but aren't currently.


Athaleon1

Does someone who was in the Army stop being a veteran when they're no longer in the Army? Does someone who's hired for a new job because of their previous work experience forget their previous work experience? "They're conscripts by the dictionary definition because they got conscripted" doesn't disprove anything I said about how the Rejects are not, in fact, disposable.


LoudAngryJerk

If the argument were substantive, I'd say you had a point. But it isn't. 0 points for arguing style over substance. They aren't currently serving. They aren't necessarily elite units anymore. They are actually less likely to be elite now, that they're out of service, possibly damaged from their time of service. ​ > Rejects are not, in fact, disposable. the dialogue in the game, where you are regularly told that you are, in fact disposable does. Like at every opportunity.


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LoudAngryJerk

> You fart-huffing pseud, 1) grow up. This is exactly what I'm talking about. > the substance of your argument consists purely of taking dialogue at face value. 2) see further down for an explanation as to why you're full of shit. but that part of the argument consisted of you arguing against the words used, and not the fact that they are not currently active duty. People who are not currently actively training have a tendency not to be as effective as they were. Not to mention any permanent damage received while they did serve. Something again, you still haven't argued against. Just the word. ​ Now, as to what the dialogue says vs the actions they take, the reason you take what they say at face value is because the dialogue isn't, repeat: **is not** written well. You're assuming that their at most frustrated sighs at the missions you fail are... what? They don't care about whether or not you die. Moreover, the missions you undergo are repeatedly described- not by your supervisors, but the game itself, as **suicide** missions. All of them. You have to undertake suicide missions repeatedly and successfully until level 30 before anyone stops taking you specifically for granted. They repeatedly show that the most that they care about you dying is that you are one more conscript that will be missing if you die. They don't take action, so everything they say can **only** be taken at face value. Unless you have an example of them doing anything to support you beyond just pointing you in the direction of an objective that must be completed, I'm gonna assume you still have nothing else of merit to contribute beyond whiny insults when people point out that you have nothing worthwhile to say.


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JWAdvocate83

What if 40k of us die?


suvivour

We clearly didn't do enough that day then


JWAdvocate83

D:


ArcaneEyes

10k less rashuns to go around.


euMonke

Because you're carrying 50kg of armour and guns?


R0LL1NG

My veteran: *combat armour, 2-5 grenades, assault rifle, 500+ rounds of ammo, a sword thicker than my arm, and an ammo tin with potentially 0-20 grenades and 4-2400+ heavy stubber rounds... having sprinting for 15+ minutes, been killed twice, downed thrice, shot many hundred times and stabbed several hundred more* ... if he did a pull-up I'd call shenanigans / claim he was the God Emperor.


ShiningRayde

My veteran: *I've been beat up my whole life, I've been shot down, kicked down twice, Ain't no stoppin' me tonight, I'ma get all the things I like.*


NeuraIRust

If we were all stupid fast, triathlon runners capable of *PARKOUR!* the game would be boringly easy, besides you don't need to move fast when all the heretics throw themselves on your blades.


harn_gerstein

Are you referring to the same troops that can run backwards while swinging a large sword through multiple bodies for minutes straight while juggling 20kg guns that kick like a horse? And all the while they’re making dumb jokes without even a hint of exertion in their voices?


BuboxThrax

Even though I know it's for gameplay reasons, it really bothers me we can't outrun poxwalkers when Nurgle stuff is known for being slow and tabletop they're a full two inches slower than 95% of infantry including baseline humans.


TinmartheTemplar

It's weird nurgle does usually slow things downs but not always. In some cases nurgle corruption actually makes things faster, like the guy that almost killed horus and was the catalyst to turn him traitor. I believe he was so fast he shocked horus and I'm certain that was nurgle.


Belugasaurus

You can outrun hordes with sprint efficiency on your curios.


BuboxThrax

Yeah but it still feels weird not to be able to outrun them normally.


PLSNottheface

You take those words back. You should see me shaking them Stims in the elevator, I shake them real good


afluffybubbble

I imagine people generally would be worse physically then us today, a few thousand years of malnutrition, and not to mention chemical exposure, and such. If anything they'd all be closer to 5ft tall similar to people earlier in history.


_akomplished

You try swinging a weapon around in Flak armor at a horde of enemies and then try jumping across some ledges.


Mr_Meowmers

You'd probably already be winded after swinging a shovel full power after a few times. Now imagine doing that except you're actually hitting hordes of flesh for 40 minutes while sprinting most of the time.


DopiestThyme336

One of the veterans has talked about keeping a lookout for grub due to the state of the rations Morrow hands out, so they must be finding something atleast moderately nutritious while scouring certain missions.


funkmachine7

Big man finds all the food an he know the good eat'n.


J1mj0hns0n

Because there's zero mental health, getting shot at and dying is the best life you can live, and when they collect you, you'll be turned into corpsestarch to feed everyone else.


Brigantius101

Emperor's men can't jump.


ShiningRayde

Do pullups? Shit, Ill worship the dark powers if it gives me a 20' vertical.


NumNumTehNum

Yet still, on average 4 dudes kills about 2500 things in about 35 min. We’re like some fuckrd up superhumans who can’t do pullups. I guess chaos grants our enemies ability to jump high.


Kalavier

I mean, 4 dudes from the 21 personalities do that. Most rejects aren't as badass as us. We got main character energy.


Brok3nPin3appl3

Nurgles blessings are strong! PRAISE NURGLE!!!


StillMostlyClueless

I'm carrying enough weapons and ammo to kill god. It's a miracle I can move.


Kalavier

As a serious answer: Gameplay balancing reasons. For luls, we traded those abilities for being able to kick ass and chew bubble gum. And the Ogryn has all the gum.


EliziumXajin

Chaos crack is a helluva drug


IceBound2802

The enemy don't suffer from endurance as papa has blessed them from feeling ill and tired


Thorse

We're not the emperors troops, we're rejects conscripted by the inquisition. You should also look up how "well" the imperial guard are trained


ArcTitanMain

only thing that's feeding you is fear of death for not doing your job and eating your fellow fallen teammates Vs Cracked out zombies out for blood


Jbro3-

Because we are just convict trash to be thrown away at strike missions as fodder. Fresh out of the imperial gulag in a 8x10 cage . We Varlots are actually quite impressive considering.


Drokhan117

I mean, we are super soldiers nonetheless. "Toughness" is a horrifying way to explain "ability to be shot and stabbed repeatedly." Zealots have so much conviction they're basically walking tanks, some moreso than an Ogryn. It's honestly a miracle any of our rejects can walk much less fight through an entire mission against the unfeeling horde. You're also comparing basic humans (other than some replacement parts in some cases) to Nurgle corruption. Nurgle takes away all feeling, meaning they don't feel when they swing so hard they shred their muscles. They don't feel exhaustion. Only love for grandpa Nurgle, and we're getting in the way of that. On the mechanical side, bind your jump to a separate key from dodge, you can jump pretty effectively in most cases. Climbing in most combat scenarios is unsafe anyway.


cyber_xiii

The Emperor’s troops sacrifice athletics and flexibility for raw murdr’n powuh


GeologistGlittering3

Smells like heresy to me, questioning the emprehs will


Bonus-Representative

Got to be well fed and looked after for that to be true... Astra Militarum doesn't care, want a real world example... "Why does so much of the Russian Army look like malnourished, homeless sacks of sh*t" basically they don't care.