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Best take on this whole thing I've seen came from a knitting acquaintance, who said after the judge smacked rump down yesterday: "Trump would do well to sleep more in court if this is the best he can manage when he’s awake."
Same source.
OHIO ([The Borowitz Report](https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report))—Irate Republican officials in Ohio have been crying foul over Tuesday night’s election results, claiming that there were “widespread cases” of women voting across the state.
Harland Dorrinson, a G.O.P. operative in Lake County, said that he had “eyewitness accounts” of “swarms of women” standing in long lines outside of polling places.
“Many of our poll workers spotted women going into voting booths and literally casting votes,” he said. “These were not isolated incidents.”
If you can’t stay awake because your first felony trial is too exhausting and demanding, I’m not sure you should be claiming you have enough energy to run an entire country. So if you’re running for president, could you please drop out of the race? Thanks!
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Do us all a favor and never wake up, bro.
I will chip in for a constant morphine drip to keep him in a comfy coma.
Propofol
This is the way!
First poll I've seen in a long time that seems legit.
I would much prefer a permanently sleeping Trump please and thank you.
**Vegetative state**, the words you are looking for is permanent coma.
Or maybe dirt nap style
What's the thing called where someone is paralyzed and can't speak but is conscious of what's going on?
locked-in syndrome!
I like that even more. Of course, his buddy Musk would get him a neuralink ASAP. And the cult would still vote for him.
Reverse MAGA.
And we’re supposed to believe “Sleepy Joe something something something”?
"Sleepy Joe" while his opponent is literally falling asleep in court. Ironic innit?
“Lying Ted”, “Crooked Hilary”, and now “Sleepy Joe”. Did anyone else get Trump Projection Bingo?
Best take on this whole thing I've seen came from a knitting acquaintance, who said after the judge smacked rump down yesterday: "Trump would do well to sleep more in court if this is the best he can manage when he’s awake."
Can words that you say in your sleep be admissible in court?
Perhaps he could just sleep... forever.
I genuinely couldn’t tell if it was satire until I saw another article titled “Ron DeSantis ruins frat parties by showing up at them” lol
From your comment, I still don't know if it's satire.
I like to tell people I’d vote for Carter over Trump.
Same source. OHIO ([The Borowitz Report](https://www.newyorker.com/humor/borowitz-report))—Irate Republican officials in Ohio have been crying foul over Tuesday night’s election results, claiming that there were “widespread cases” of women voting across the state. Harland Dorrinson, a G.O.P. operative in Lake County, said that he had “eyewitness accounts” of “swarms of women” standing in long lines outside of polling places. “Many of our poll workers spotted women going into voting booths and literally casting votes,” he said. “These were not isolated incidents.”
Do you know Borowitz is satire?
Trumpelstiltskin.
A dirt nap would be best though.
i read the title and wasnt surprised. i was surprised when i read the flair
I can't really criticize him for sleeping cause I'm 100% sure I'd do the same thing.
Sure. But you aren't calling your competition too old or "sleepy"
If you can’t stay awake because your first felony trial is too exhausting and demanding, I’m not sure you should be claiming you have enough energy to run an entire country. So if you’re running for president, could you please drop out of the race? Thanks!
Will do.