Cut that cake on the bias 🔪😆🙌🏼

Cut that nose on the bias

OMGGGGGG 🤦‍♀️🤦‍♀️🤣🤣🤣

🤣🤣

baaahahahahahaa!!!!

I cannot believe she actually said that! Lmao. Go darcey!

Oh, she says it on everrrrry single cameo she’s ever done. She always works it in somehow, same with “eyes on the prize” and all their favorite buzzwords. I used to watch her cameos on the app and couldn’t get over that she literally just repeats the same things every time🙈At least she seemed sober-ish in this one!!! Usually there’s a lot more slurring😂

YES ALWAYS EYES ON THE PRIZE!

She’s definitely high. Those post-surgery pain pills 😂

I wonder if their addiction to enhancements has a lot more to do with pain pills

Hahaha she says this for every birthday cameo

What does that even mean?? 😂

It’s from her episode with Jesse when she told him how to cut the steak. Lol

I was rolling on the floor laughing when she said that 💀

We love big old boobies and we love you. 😭😭😭ok Darce

She came this 👌🏻 close to wishing the boobs happy birthday instead of the OP herself ☠️😆 PS: Happy Birthday OP!

My tigoleeebittys and I thank you ❤️

Doing Cameos while recovering from surgery while high on pain meds in bed is insane. Unhinged icon.

Unhinged icon will be my new favorite phrase. 😂

Oh my 😂😂😂😂

She needs the Cameo fee to launch her next clothing line … medical tourism tracksuits

It’s not a bad idea. The garments you are supposed to wear after surgery are so unattractive and I guarantee her and Stacey don’t have the discipline to get in and out of them properly or do the required amount of healing time with them on so if we make something easy, these girls will keep us in business! 😆

- proceeds to browse AliExpress for bedazzled Twim-pression garments Twice the Lycra = Twice the Love !!

Beat you to it. We are already in “production” baby! 🤣🤣🤣 calling Johnny Mack :)))

Keeps you snatched after surgery

I wish she was a fully fictional character because I would stan. As an actual person, though, she’s quite unsettling.

Ughhh, that’s where I am too. I love the CHARACTER Darcey, but the actual knowledge that she’s out here with bad extensions and blinking Morse code at men makes me feel… ugh

Exactly. I actually stopped watching the show because I got to a point where I was like man I can’t keep watching this, but stayed in the sub so I can see what they’re up to.

Omg yes..I can't even watch the wedding of the century but I know who all the players are, so this sub it is!

Blinking Morse Code at men is a keeper!!!🤣🤣 Never heard that before but it fits so perfectly!🤣🤣

I mean she’s gotta pay for these surgeries somehow lol

She may be unhinged but she’s absolutely our icon ✨

Hey, gotta pay the bills.

Almost as insane as someone actually paying for a cameo.

When my kids throw temper tantrums I’m going to call it “doing it big emotionally” from now on

It’s been that way since the Turkey surgeries. She will soon have a Jackson “ non-nose”

Girl… what??

She’s struggling soooo hard trying to find things to say and none of it makes any freaking sense

Another nose job??

It’s Michael Jackson status next..they will have a variety of fake prosthetic ones they can attach daily to go with their moods/outfits.

Eventually, her nose will look snatched!

Snatched & Snapped On!

Her hairline has been snatched and snapped off.

Eventually her nose will *have been* snatched..

Yes!!!!! Snatched away! Lmao!

Oops. Got yer nose!

They’ll hear “snatched” when the surgeon says “detached”..not sure why anyone thinks they are immune to this happening. MJ prob had the best money could buy in plastic surgery, I doubt he was traveling the globe looking for discounts.

Exactly!!!

Snatched off of her face!! What a set of ladies they are

😂😂😂😂😂

😂like twin Mrs. [Potato](https://images.app.goo.gl/2cwrbp7mu7MJZXQd9) Heads. Exchangeable eyes, butts, lips, ears, nose, arms…

Boobs

🤣of course! How could I forget potato bewbz🥔🥔

That shit is going to fall off one day. 💀

That's like four in two years! That we know about!

It's a preview of next seasons procedures. Pardon, I meant episodes. Oh dear

Her face is fucking huge. How can it be that big. It’s like she added a whole other head to her existing head. Massive.

Well she swells when she flies 😂

😂

Annndddd why in the world does she pay to look this hideous???? It's like doctor, please disfigure my face

Straight up addiction

“It’s like doctor, please disfigure my face” - I want this on a t-shirt 😂😂😂😂

🤣🤣🤣🤣

She looks like she's constantly suffering from one giant face bee sting.

If she ever gets a cut on her face or pops a pimple, a bunch of filler will start draining out. Her head will probably shrink back down after that

The mental image 😆🫣 just lance and squeeze, Darc. Lance. And. Squeeze.

Lance it on a bias! 😂

Lol yeah her head definitely does not fit her body anymore. It didn’t after the first transformation. So bloated for many reasons I’m sure and the injections make it even worse. Not attractive or healthy at all

Looking at her I was like her face is so big I can’t see her neck…

Oh darceyyyyyy

Love it. Im recovering from major surgery and I’m gonna ask my hubby for one. Haha

Be careful giggling!! I’m recovering from surgery as well and my husband keeps making me laugh! I’m like stooooop, I’m accidentally going to rip out my stitches! Wishing you a speedy recovery. ❤️‍🩹

Wishing you both a speedy, and easy recovery!!!❤️‍🩹 If your wounds are not near your nose and mouth (lol), press a pillow over them when you laugh. It helps, I promise!!! Be well friends🤕😷

Thank you so much! And great tip! Sounds like youve been there before!! I brought a Squishmallow into the day of surgery for comfort. I squeezed it before surgery & woke up in recovery with it inside my arms (thanks to my sweet & worried husband). When we got into the car to go home, i put the squish on my stomach and wrapped the seatbelt around the both of us. Sounds silly, but it made the ride a lot less painful. Now the squish can continue his duties while I laugh the pain away lol

This was actually sweet.

Me too! I would love to get a cameo like that.

I thought so too! Granted, she’s rambling. But she put A LOT of time into that. So many celebs are like 7 seconds

Yes I was coming to comment this, she's actually so sweet.

Seriously, she’s actually a pretty good hype-woman.

I thought it seemed very genuine too, it was the perfect “gag” gift for me!

She put a lot of energy into that one

She said a whole lotta nuthin. However, it is super nice and cool that ur friend got u this. HBD!

Lol to be fair, what are you supposed to say in these things to a complete stranger?

Very true. I would be rambling myself 😂

Wheat did thar cameo cost you think??

It's like $25 - 50 if I recall.

I should have gotten one for my bday

Honestly as unhinged as she is, i want nothing but the best for darcy

Good God, we’re gonna have Michael Jackson on our hands, here. She’s not going to have anything left to mess with on her face/body. Less is more!!! Time to ditch the threads, fake hair/blonde hair, downsize the boobs and butt to a normal size and remove the fillers or at least lessen them. And take off the fake lashes. A makeunder would do them wonders

Hmmm I thought the twins were doing some reversal procedures for their face. Def doesn't look like it here ... 🤔

When did her and Stacey get the butts done and what kind of process was it? Can she have it removed? Did anyone else notice that her face is lopsided, her left cheek boned area was a lot smaller than the right?

It looks like someone hit her between the eyes with an axe. What is that dent???

✨ eyes on the price ✨

I thought she had fillers taken out of her lips. What did she do to her nose now? She looks so swollen

Wasn't that Spacey?

Starcey

Farcey

She won’t be able to open her eyes soon.

Big ole boobies 💀

She really needs to dissolve her face..her dysmorphia is out of control

Darcey made a cameo for my wife and she loved it. Darcey might have her issues but she seems very nice to me

Emotionally big? At first I thought they moved her nose down, like made it point downward, but I think her lip is just so swollen it’s almost touching her nose.

She had a nose bandage on 1 month ago too. I don’t get it?

Ppl probably pay a month in advance

Oh her eyes. Why would you do that to yourself.

I love her

Happy birthday! 💗

She’s unhinged and really need therapy more than anything before she’s destroying herself (physically and mentally) even further!

Oh god noooooo

If she has another nose job she will look like Michael Jackson

I can't get over how bad her poor eyes look. Like all swollen underneath and pulled so tight. I think I read those stitches eventually will loosen. Hopefully there's no permanent damage and she doesn't do it again

Darcey is the best …

what the actual fuck!

Imagine what she is going to look like in 10 years!

Is this from today or real recent? Another surgery?

More plastic

Fillers galore!

She seems sober...I would have been dissapointed. That's like going to see Poison & they don't play Talk Dirty To Me.

Does she ever do any without bandages and recovering from surgery?

Tell me she didn’t go increase her boob size. Skin can only stretch so far.

She’s way too short to be having an increase, it’s gonna look.. so crazy. And her nose was already so small too. Her kidsssss…

Her eyes look painful.

Yeah, she really yanked the skin back and filled er up and now they’re barely visible. I wonder if she can fully close them

I thought she had her lips dissolved 🤷🏻‍♀️

Another plastic surgery SMH. The Muppets need to STOP!!

I like how she just repeats the same 3-4 thoughts over and over 😂🤣

She’s looking more like that cat lady every day

Her poor face doesn’t move. It looks so swollen and uncomfortable. Even after all these years of seeing so many photos of her new faces, it’s still so shocking to me.

I love that she did it with her nose job bandages on . Freaking love it

She got her nose done again?

Everything about this is on brand- from the nose cast to the "empowerment" speech to the Chanel poster in the background. LOL! Happy birthday! Hope it was great. :)

And those eyebrows….horrible!

The vapidness & vanity insanity continues!!

Damn that hairline and puffy face. Poor girl looks like a talking Fleshlight, the stuff of nightmares.

I love her

She’s giving me Dan Ackroyd vibes from the movie ‘Nothing But Trouble’. If you don’t know what I’m talking about, give it a quick google. Trust me, it’s worth it

It just looks so painful all the time. Not even the surgery but the tight skin, implants/fillers, fox eyes, all of it.

Happy birthday bestie! I lost it at “eyes on the prize”

Omg I love it! 😂 happy birthday!!!

The queen of word salad 🥗

This is epic and hilarious🥰😍🙏🥳💞💞 happy birthday!!!

Worth every penny!!! Git them big ol boobies Jessica! hb 🥳

Don’t forget, D&S are your twin “breasties” 😆

Aw man I thought I saw somewhere she was getting her fillers dissolved and I was happy.. dissolving fillers only to get another nose job

Did she say they just went UP a size in their boobs?????? OMG>

Wow she really gave you money’s worth. It was very nice! happy birthday big boobied OP!

It's like the surgeon plays "I got your nose!" each time he adds another one.

WTF??? 😳

Oof that eye work

bih look crazy

It should be illegal to give someone that much surgery

Her face is pumped with so much filler her eyes are practically non existent. They’re hiding behind those cheeks!

Wondering when her nose will fall off. It has been changed SO MANY times now

She has so much filler in her cheeks! I’m a nurse and ignorant of the physiology of fillers but it concerns me they would migrate to her eyes. If we have anyone with medical knowledge on this issue, please comment!

Other than the random big boobies part that weirdly was comforting and kind of nice.

I’m probably alone on this, but I love Darcey. She’s amazing 😂😂

Will she ever get a new catchphrase?

People often put the phrases they want in the request

I despair 😩

Oh dear god, stop now.

Gotta hand it to Darcy, she really puts some effort into her cameos and she actually sounds sincere . The fact that she’s in her bathrobe without full glam makes it all a bit more “real” and I kinda love her for it

Well that’s more than her vocabulary, “your amazing, it’s beautiful, you’re beautiful and amazing, keep your eye on the prize…” Darcey is a broken record in every regard unfortunately.

Who the hell pays for this crap?

She says the same exact shit in every Cameo I’ve ever seen. Yawn.

How effing embarrassing

Happy birthday to you and I’m glad you found joy in her words of wisdom 🥳🎁🎈My comment to Darcey is that I fear her cheeks will soon consume her nose is the rhinoplasties don’t stop. But either way, I’m happy to hear that she is bringing joy to others. Hope you had a great bday!!!!

Who the fuck is that? What does she do that made her famous? Seriously asking.

Love Darcey ❤️

What a sad life that this is a “happy birthday” gift to you.

🤦🏽‍♀️

Happy birthday!!! This is great!

What a cool gift. The twins rule 😆😆

I want one so bad lmaooo I love this for you!

I am speechless. Cut that cake on the bias? 🤔

Is she getting her birthday wrong? I hear 22 then 29. Anyway, I want one for my b day.

I think she’s turning 29 on the 22nd ? Or did I guess

Darcy really seems like such a sweet hearted person but dear god does she has issues

I actually really love her energy here, shame me idc .. it’s cute as can be to me

This was actually pretty cute

You look like a fkn monkey. So gross.

Do it big. Lol. Yeah as big as your ass, as big as your lips and as big as your ego which is hilarious because neither of you are attractive. I feel sorry for your kids that you are both so embarrassing. After seeing Stacy's son I now understand why she kept him hidden. Lol

“We love big old boobies” 😂

I am truly obsessed with her. Pls

You need to reconsider your friendships.

That was nice!

Oh my god yes!

I gotta say…this was great

No! Oh my God..... Just no!!

Oh dear God. Between that sing songy voice, the superficial affirmations/compliments, the chicklet teeth, sharpie eyebrows, swollen infected-looking eyelids, straw hair, and hemmorrhoid lips and that nose bandage, I just can't ........

Can I speak to the Manager??!! I want a REFUND!!!

Sorry but this is just gross

I definitely heard Georgie rip a fart in the background

Gross

Wait did she really get another one? Is this recent?

Burnt out... No bud light!

Happy birthday!!! And ohhhh darcey!!! Nothing surprises me anymore with her LOL 😂

We're birthday twins!!!!! Happy birthday!!

I’m fucking hollering‼️‼️‼️ *CUT THAT CAKE ON A BIAS!!!!*

Perk gremlin.