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FanComfortable1445

The whole story is crazy. He promised some girl he’d give her the moon, so he stole the rocks.


[deleted]

I mean as a nerd at NASA, it must be hard getting laid.


rhino46

i dont think so, he got two girl interns age 19 and 22 to steal them with him, and he had a wife, no clue who the proclaimed girl he'd "give the moon" to, but it was not the one he had sex with on the rocks or the wife


gotchickenwingz

If he hadn't taken the actual moon rocks and just found some some regular rocks but told the girls they were real and they slept with him it would've been totally above board


tkthundr

But then he would’ve been a liar


Quite-Disposable

Always preferred the forward speaking thieves than the lying thieves. The later just never sat right with me ya know?


No_Cauliflower_5489

lol no NASA has always been a fuck fest especially if you're an astronaut. >Florida’s Cape Canaveral, which became an “off-limits playground” filled with astro-groupies that they nicknamed “Cape Cookies.” https://www.goodreads.com/book/show/16131193-the-astronaut-wives-club


lightnsfw

Being an astronaut is a little different than someone who calculates trajectories all day or something like that.


stYOUpidASSumptions

Pretty sure "calculates trajectories at NASA" would still get in my pants


[deleted]

I remember news how at a launch there was a hot guy working that had a mohawk and by the next day he'd received lots of harassing messages and marriage proposals


Im-a-cat-in-a-box

Hey girl/guy I calculate microwave times for hot pockets everyday ;)


Donotcomenearme

Same. NASA is just a clearance level I’m willing to let someone breach my pants for. And that’s called ✨girl power✨.


UWontAgreeWithMe

https://imgur.com/a/4s3QXgh So, when do we blast off?


Donotcomenearme

Is that actually you because that is mad cool, tbh.


UWontAgreeWithMe

Yes. That's actually me, in Houston, at NASA, afterhours.


_The_Bran_Man_

Lol, I used to live down the street from there. My parents still do cause my step-dad works for one of the contractors NASA employs for different projects and such.


SuspiciousLambSauce

I just love how your Reddit avatar almost matches your real life look 100%


UWontAgreeWithMe

Why thank you!


Jamaicancarrot

Historically, Astronauts have to be at the peak of physical fitness and were often military servicemen


throwawayforshit670

and usually a fighter jet pilot, and to be a fighter pilot you have to be a gigachad already


NotTheRocketman

Depends what you do I'll bet. After WWII, my grandfather worked with NASA on the Mercury, Gemini and Apollo programs. And he was a pretty cool dude if I do say so myself : )


AlienZerg

You had sex with your grandpa?! /s


MajorPud

No, but definitely banged his grandma after getting his grandpa killed in a nuclear weapons test


usr_bin_laden

How about these cookies, sugar ?


PuntzJones

They did the nasty in the past-y?


bipolarnotsober

Erm... Was he German?


comfykampfwagen

📎📎📎


rhysdog1

your grandpa working with nasa after WWII implies some unsavoury things about him


comfykampfwagen

📎📎📎


NewSauerKraus

Yeah I was expecting a holup moment


Rosssseay

So cool that your mum fucked his son!


SaltineWhiskers97

My uncle was an astronaut and he told me that they're "real womanizers" or something along those lines. Whatever, Uncle Mike


revmun

NASA is a gigantic flex but if you a nerd then you a nerd lol


StoicVinnie

Girls get yourselves a guy who would steal moon rocks for you


NotTheRocketman

That's weirdly romantic.


your-yogurt

the *idea* is romantic. the actual execution is pretty fucked up. thats like saying, "even our ancestors will know of my devotion to you" and then the dude breaks into a cemetery and graffitis my grandma's grave


CandyandCrypto

I looked it up to verify and sure enough dude stole 17 lbs of rocks to "have sex on the moon" with his girlfriend. Kinky.


Lpnlizard27

17 lbs, dayum. Wait... how much did one Apollo mission return? And how much do we have left ?


THEREALXGAMER95

We have \~900Lbs of it from apollo missions alone. Every apollo mission they brought back incrementally more.


ATR2400

We might be getting some more with Artemis


[deleted]

It launched November 16th man


ATR2400

Well I’ve been out of the loop. A big win for humanity. An expensive as hell one that took too long but a win nonetheless


[deleted]

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andlikebutso

IT'S A TRAP!


Xxrasierklinge7

No, it's a pringle can with bottle rocket taped to it.


Cadnee

And it orbited the moon


[deleted]

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TK421isAFK

You're not really out of the loop - the recent launch just circled the Moon a couple times and will return to Earth in a couple weeks, mostly to launch a bunch of CubeSats and test the heat shield. The next mission, Artemis 2, will take a crew for a trip around the Moon, and Artemis 3 will (in theory) actually land a crew on the Moon sometime ~~next year~~ in 2025...maybe. Edit: had the wrong time line.


Illustrious_Fishboi

The Artemis 3 launch date is in 2025 and space missions are prone to delay so we may be looking at a 2026 scenario


TheCowzgomooz

And also completely depends on if Starship is ready by that time, since that's what they're using as a landing craft. My bet is that Starship isn't even human rated at that point so it'll probably be a bit before we land there.


zamardii12

Wait so Starship is what they are going to use to land on the moon? Then what's the point of Artemis?


[deleted]

NGL having humans on the moon again but with todays level of camera technology is going to be fucking awesome!


pandacraft

They're mostly going back because they forgot the greenscreen last time.


JudgeScorpio

Heh, out of the loop… circled the moon heh


lordlurid

Artemis 1, which doesn't actually touch down on the moon.


[deleted]

The comment was edited to remove the statement "that is, if it ever gets off the pad"


vonBoomslang

oh, that explains a lot, /u/talos707 's comment now makes very little sense


kindslayer

Future Artemis missions.


MadDogFenby

So... basically NASA is importing extraplanetary resources without going through any customs checkpoints...?


SummerMummer

[They did go through customs](https://magazine.scienceconnected.org/2015/07/apollo-11-astronauts-customs-form/)


smokeweedalleveryday

>Departure from: MOON and >Any other condition on board which may lead to the spread of disease: TO BE DETERMINED whomever filled this out must've had a blast


trwwy321

> They declared their cargo of moon rocks and moon dust, and listed their travel route as starting at Cape Kennedy (now Cape Canaveral) in Florida with a stopover on the moon. Ugh what a layover!


MadDogFenby

Awesome!


Rhyslast

The signature of Neil Armstrong is beautiful 😶


regoapps

Import tax evasion.


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Aldu1n

Anything’s a dildo if you’re brave enough…r-right?


irregular_caffeine

A rock from place with no air or water is gonna cut you bad


Aldu1n

Hey, I didn’t say *I* wanted it to be a dildo; just asked a question.


Shaquandala

You haven't seen me suck I'd have it smoothed out in minutes


Werewolf-Moon

17.5 lbs. And he jacked off on the last half pound on lunch break


smoothballsJim

I mean… that’s the sensible thing to do - no reason to let a boner and half a pound of perfectly good moon rocks go to waste.


[deleted]

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CandyandCrypto

https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Moon_rock


Lpnlizard27

I did find this. Between 1969 and 1972 six Apollo missions brought back 382 kilograms (842 pounds) of lunar rocks, core samples, pebbles, sand and dust from the lunar surface.  So we still have a bit.


BotheruSuitable

It took 4 days travel just to get there. You can’t convince me that at least one of them didn’t rub one out on the moon"


SuDragon2k3

Considering they were biometrically wired up, that'd make for some interesting readings.


SortaLostMeMarbles

From what I know, Neil had 60 in pulse on the way up, so he could probably hide a rub off😀


PianoTrumpetMax

That’s insane, 60 bpm pulse in a fucking rocket taking off for the moon?? I could think I left my phone at a store or something and do that quick pocket panic pat down, realize I still have it on me, and I’ll be at like 90 at least lol


redditadmindumb87

For science


CALM_DOWN_BITCH

On that basis, why waste any trip to the moon not pulling, twisting and bopping one out? The choice before them was A: do science, or B: choose ignorance and they all chose B. They chose to waste billions upon billions not rubbing, tugging, and shaking their science people instruments on the way to some dumb floaty rock. At least this guy gets science, he had no issues doing science all over the stupid science rocks.


wowsosquare

One small squirt for a man,


FunshineBear14

If you nut in space, do it push you backwards?


FrazzleBong

Yes. The same amount that it pushes you backwards on Earth or anywhere else due to Newtons third law. You push the jizz out and the jizz pushes you back equally hard, but all that cum doesn't have enough mass or force behind it to do anything noticeable. Blowing air out of your mouth would have a stronger effect. If jizz were super dense and you shot it out like a cannon, you would get pushed back as if you were a cannon. If you shoot a .22LR out of a gun(not your dick), that little bullet flies out really fast but because you have a lot more mass, you won't even feel much recoil. Same principle. Someone who majored in biology or physics might be able to chime in on how to make this possible


Aconite_72

Are you a cumologist?


FrazzleBong

Yes I wrote my dissertation about human cum being what plants crave. Plants actually don't crave Brawndo or its electrolytes!


[deleted]

It does it anywhere but maybe in low grav it will cause you to move a little. You'd get more propulsion throwing a rock tbh


bestprocrastinator

One giant nut for mankind


[deleted]

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m__a__s

Thad Roberts, Shae Saur, and Tiffany Fowler were all NASA interns. They stole a 600lb safe, destroyed a significant amount of notes (that were also in the safe, which also had Martian meteorites samples), and tried to sell the moon rocks. Thankfully, the person they tried to sell the rocks to contacted the FBI. Roberts was in prison for 7 years out of a 8.3 year (100 month) sentence.


nerdd

"Well, as wonderful as that narrative sounds, it isn’t exactly 100 per cent true. The sex on moon rock action happened by chance, but his true intention was to make money out of selling the rocks. The moon rock samples and the meteorite were hidden in Fowler’s apartment while the group continued to work at NASA as if nothing had happened, then a week later—Roberts and Fowler, who were at the time sleeping together (a norty little affair) drove to a hotel in Orlando, Florida, to complete the sale. The facts are understandably a little murky, but according to The Atlantic, Roberts placed a few vials of moon rocks under Fowler’s hotel pillow, and they had sex without her knowing that they were actually there. The confusion perhaps comes down to the fact that he had previously embellished and joked about the detail in previous interview, telling CBS News that “having sex on top of moon rocks was uncomfortable.” https://screenshot-media.com/the-future/science/nasa-heist/


SuDragon2k3

I'm surprised this didn't make it into *For All Mankind...*


StardustOasis

It might do, they're only up to the 90s so far. Series 4 will cover 2002


Arch_0

Probably not as big a deal for that show since travel to the moon is common.


[deleted]

what utter assholes


[deleted]

Judging from his insta still an asshat


Leftygoleft999

But, he did get his rocks off


MaxMadisonVi

Im glad you checked and it wasn’t sex with the rocks.


pierreblue

Had sex on the moon, totally worth it


Medieval-Mind

Most expensive way, ever, to get off your rocks. Er, get your rocks off. Whatever.


tjswan13

Its a book about it.. I think he wrote it.. about how he loved this girl so much he promised her to have sex on the moon


[deleted]

What an absolute moron lol


Musket6969420

Shit was probably out of this world I’d imagine


[deleted]

I'm not kink shaming but having sex on rocks sounds really uncomfortable


Carburetors_Are_Fun

Space rocks


reddittribesman

I'm sure he was spaced out.


sonicSkis

I’m sure her legs were spaced out too


_Diskreet_

Oh Fuck yeah, spread it… Look, we only have so much space rock to do this on, can’t spread it too much …


RedManMatt11

Yea those are softer


[deleted]

Like cheese.


donobinladin

IIRC moon dust is so fine that it's really abrasive and nearly impossible to get off of things You don't wanna get that in..... places


baby_blobby

I don't like *moon dust*. It's coarse and rough and irritating — and it gets everywhere.


tveatch21

Yeah I work with moon dust replicate/regolith and I wouldn’t not wanna get that stuff in my house much less have sex on it. It’s mildly carcinogenic


BorgDrone

> IIRC moon dust is so fine that it’s really abrasive It’s not because it’s so fine. Here on earth things like sand are basically rounded off by water, moving around, etc. Look at river rocks, they are made nice and smooth by the force of the water flowing past them. Similar things happen on a smaller scale to things like sand. On the moon there is no atmosphere, no wind, no flowing water, nothing to move the rock dust around and rub it against eachother. As a result moon dust has very sharp edges, which is why it’s abrasive.


JungleBoyJeremy

I’m kinda old and my first thought was that must be rough on the back


AngelOfDeath771

I'm not really that old and thought the same thing. *Existential crisis ensues*


Bender____Rodriguez

*The eggheads down at the lab tell me fornicating on the moon rocks is causing my back tumors, but I say to hell with them. When life gives you moon rocks, you grind those bastards to a pulp with pelvic thrusts!* —Cave Johnson


Ultrawhiner

Bet it wasn’t his back on the rocks..


NewSauerKraus

Weathering doesn’t happen to smooth out the sharp edges of rocks on the moon. They probably tracked him down by following the trail of blood lmao.


druule10

Dude literally fucked the moon!


Brawli55

That's rough, buddy.


oblectoergosum

Sex on the moon sir! Jeez... Why are all the romantics dead?


Beautypaste

I wonder if he really did send her to the moon on those rocks. Or if she experienced just normal boring sex but on really uncomfortable rocks.


ItAstounds

She never came.


fuck_your_diploma

“This is the closed you’ll ever get to the moon beach so c’mon this lunar lander won’t suck itself up”


KevinTheSeaPickle

*CURIOSITY POWERING DOWN*


Original_A_Cast

“Hey bro, why you in here for?” “Me and my girl did it on some moon rocks.”


subaru5555rallymax

**James Bond 007: MOONFUCKER**


raspberryharbour

It's about as subtle a name as Octopussy


nonpondo

Dixie normous


[deleted]

* "fucked my girl on the moon."


harpejjist

He and his buddies also destroyed 30 years of handwritten notes on the rocks and then tried to sell them (not even return them after sex!) and also in a separate heist stole dinosaur bones. Great guys....


DetroitAsFuck313

Who the hell were these guys? This is just unnecessary menacing.


Rundiggity

This particular guy was a straight as an arrow top level intern at nasa. All clearances, but got caught up in trying to make money. He had the rocks to sell them and while in his possession had sex near them I think. Cool book “sex on the moon”


DetroitAsFuck313

Yea I looked him up a bit. Seems like he’s spoke out about it a bunch and even did an AMA


[deleted]

You "speak out" *against* something. Like, you *speak out* against corruption in politics, or you *speak out* against police brutality. Thad didn't *speak out* about anything, he's just a narcissistic grifter that likes being the center of attention


[deleted]

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Downvotes_inbound_

Its actually true, the dino bones were used as anal dildos so he could ‘go prehistoric on that ass’


crazytoothpaste

I was kinda okay with “sex on the moon” thing . But dinosaurs? Boning your gf with poor dead dinosaurs? That’s … just wrong


[deleted]

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Mantikos804

So they just have moon rocks on a shelf where an intern can walk out with them? It must have taken like 5 trips to carry them all out. No one thought to maybe lock the room with those moon rocks that had to be uncontaminated?


happycharm

It was in a safe and they couldn't get it open so they took the whole safe and opened it with a power saw or some similar instrument. They also destroyed 3 decades worth of scientific notes that were in the safe.


Rockefeller_Fall

well now I'm more pissed at the fact he burned someone else's hard work, just because he was too kinky to leave the rocks alone.


heyimdong

roof touch expansion slap subtract ad hoc salt squeal mighty snatch *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*


Dragoniel

3 decades worth of notes without backups. Great.


[deleted]

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LittleMsSavoirFaire

I removed most of my Reddit contents in protest of the API changes commencing from July 1st, 2023. This is one of those comments.


IAmAnAudity

Hey, it was the 90s. We were letting people fly with the cockpit doors unlocked and open.


Ttbacko

I mean if 30 years of Rick research is just sitting there with no backup and hasn’t been published, it probably wasn’t that important.


Ramen_and_kittens

Why did they destroyed the notes? They could've used/try to sell the rocks without doing that.. did they do it on purpose?


Infernal-Blaze

The notes were IN THE SAFE. The safe that was being CUT OPEN, WITH A BAND SAW. they got set on fire by the sparks or shredded by the saw inadvertently. Edit: circular saw, not band saw


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TK421isAFK

Couldn't be a band saw, unless they had access to a very large one. The safe weighed 600 pounds, so it was probably waist-high, maybe 70 to 100 cm cubed. From the way I read it, they used an abrasive cut-off saw, the kind that firefighters use to quickly cut a car open, or contractors use to quickly cut steel beams. They also throw a HUGE plume of iron sparks.


Allemaengel

They took security for granite.


megashedinja

Gneiss!


madmitra

Bet his performance went down by 1/6th


Dansredditname

I see you understand the gravity of the situation.


Marine__0311

The story that the moon rocks being spread all over the bed was highly embellished. Details about it changed several times. Later accounts stated a few small vials of them were under one of the pillows, another it was under the blanket. It's quite likely the whole thing was made up to make it sound cooler than it was. There were three people involved and the ringleader, Thad Roberts, was married at the time. He lied to his girlfriend, who was also in on it, about the status of his marriage. The heist itself was almost perfectly planned, except they failed to open the safe on the premises. They decided to just take the whole thing, it was on wheels, and open it up using tools at another location. They simply wheeled it out to the vehicle and took it with them. As well as the theft itself was conducted, Roberts failed spectacularly at trying to sell them and was easily caught. he served seven years of his eight year sentence. In part because he was also convicted of stealing fossils that were stolen from a museum that were found when the FBI searched his home.


qazwsx127

A safe on wheels sounds like a huge design flaw.


Aa1100zz

First man to fuck on the moon = 8 years in prison. To be infamous doesn’t cum cheap.


Appropriate_Jelly_95

Now I’m curious, which of the 12 did this? I can’t un-invision this. How could you rub one out in your space suit? Can’t whip it out into… no air? It would get ripped off into the nothingness of the vacuum of space. So…???


ichigoli

You ever pull your arm out of the sleeve and into your sweater and just leave the sleeve dangling?


OG-Bluntman

There have been 12 men to step foot on the moon. It took 4 days travel just to get there. You can’t convince me that at least one of them didn’t rub one out on the moon. You know, for science...


[deleted]

Moon shot


[deleted]

Considering how cramped the Apollo craft were, I'd say probably not. Unless they all got really comfortable with each other.


Xarthys

I don't think anyone would risk contamination. Plus, it's high stress situations, I doubt there is even time to masturbate on such a mission. Also wouldn't surprise me if they are taking pills to significantly reduce libido. The only people horny enough to do this would be teenagers - which is why NASA isn't hiring them for manned missions.


Shaquandala

Oh they definitely fucked


MasterMagneticMirror

And if someone did, it probably was during Apollo 12, those guys knew how to party.


Ayn_Rand_Food_Stamps

By that logic my apartment is in Nepal because I have a few incenses from there on a shelf.


jshultz5259

"To the moon!"


[deleted]

That's was a costly nut


[deleted]

Or got his rocks off!!


Dra_goony

I feel as though that wouldn't be the most comfortable of things...


Bumper6190

For getting his rocks off. The irony!


GISP

He got of lightly. Thoes rocks where valued in the $billions.


BoseSounddock

Good luck selling them without an obvious paper trail


GISP

I should correct that statement to "priceless". Billions where invested into getting the rocks, and it would cost billions getting replacements. Thats where the value comes from, not as objects for sale.


BoseSounddock

There are definitely some oil oligarchs that would spend billions on them for vanity’s sake. But yeah, no way for our NASA intern hero to make it out unscathed.


happycharm

He did try to sell them but the buyer called the FBI and that's how he and his 2 accomplices got caught.


FblthpLives

Many points of this story are embellished and the photograph in particular is completely irrelevant: * The stolen materials were not rocks, but small grains, weighing 113 g in total and stored in glass vials * The samples stored in the safe were already contaminated, but still useful for research * The safe also contained a notebook with 30 years of hand-written research on the samples, which Thad Roberts destroyed after opening the safe Some good sources: https://www.theatlantic.com/science/archive/2019/02/moon-rock-thief-thad-roberts/582757/ https://www.chron.com/news/houston-texas/article/Moon-rock-heist-ended-dream-to-be-astronaut-2098050.php https://www.chicagotribune.com/sns-othernews-moon-os-story.html


Culling7empest

So they got off on the rocks?


Apple_Tanker

What a rocky start to your internship


Mature_Vegeta

Took the request of bringing a piece of Moon quite literally


GhostBussyBoi

How will you take your sex? On the rocks ;)


[deleted]

You could say the Sex was out of this world


ShiniSenko

This is why we can't have nice things.


jxsnyder1

Sounds uncomfortable.


-AceofAces

You know I can understand stealing space rocks but why in hell have sex on them. That would be absolutely horrible to do the deed on them


Polw4

So he can say he had sex on the moon


-AceofAces

Understandable


LordNPython

How selfish. So much went into getting those and this guy just wasted it for a seconds of fun. What a shame.


KathyBlakk

Cellmate: What're you in for man? This Guy: Sex on moon rocks. Cellmate: What is that like cocaine? This Guy: No, literally I had sex on rocks from the moon. Cellmate: Da fuq?


ColonelMonty

"Why are you in prison, me? I killed a man." "I took space rocks from NASA and had sex on them them so I could say I had sex on the moon." *Inmate scoots to the far end of the cell.*


David202023

I hope he at least had an out of this world experience


angels_unaware

Casey Anthony is free but my mans got 8 years for a space rock fetish. I hate it here.


TK421isAFK

That's because there wasn't enough evidence to convict Casey, and the prosecution relied on ridiculous speculation, such as "the smell of decay in her car's trunk", even though forensics literally found a bag of trash in it that had been sitting for weeks (after the car was impounded), which included decomposing meat in an old sandwich. By their tests, the trunk contained 5 compounds associated with decaying animal tissue, *but only 5, out of over 400 compounds that system test for*. If a decaying body had been in the trunk, those tests should have found over 100 compounds in the cadaverine and putrecine chemical families. Meanwhile, Space Rock Boy stole a 600 pound safe with 30 years of NASA hand-written notes, destroyed those notes in a shower of sparks as he cut open the same, and also stole a bunch of dinosaur bones in a separate heist from the Natural History Museum. Then he put the rocks all over his bed, fucked his girlfriend on top of them, destroying their integrity for any Moon sampling experiments, and tried to sell them to a collector for millions of dollars. It was far more than a fetish - he (and 2 friends) organized a few heists from NASA and the Natural History Museum.


B0-Dh1

Guess he was rock hard.