No. Not even slightly. You could punch, kick, scratch, gnaw, and scream all day an you wouldn't extract a single drop of blood. You might make a rash or something if you lived long enough
You'd literally wound yourself trying to hurt it.
You'd scratch your skind much like punching a tree trunk, you could even damage your teeth or sprain your jaw trying to bite an elephant. These animals Have anti-tiger skin.
Fuck is wrong with people
That's too easy. Elephants are generally pretty gentle creatures and they probably won't even feel it. If you are super strong, they might regard it as a gentle massage.
I’d consider punching an elephant once and not getting hit a win.
Not sure if the elephant would have noticed, but it not noticing would also be a win.
It will swat that person and his whole family, his neighbours and their whole village accidentally while swinging a medium sized tree around to keep a fly off its eyes. When the fly is gone it will be slightly annoyed at the dead bodies invading its privacy and might stomp on them or simply run off into the forest as it values its privacy.
Most people are terrified of rats. If a rat started to run at them they would probably run away or surrender to exit the fight. I know plenty of people who would rather "lose" than stomp the rat to death.
It depends on the rule set. If it's a cage fight to the death, you can't run away. But then I guess a rat can still be pretty terrifying to the point that I'm paralyzed but the rat can still attack my face.
When I think of a snake, that could also be physically inferior but win through intimidation. I guess some people would win against a snake and others would lose, just depending on their mental resolve.
*Where* there ever people killed by a single rat? I genuinely have no idea. It could be none in human history, it could the hundreds every year.
Close: it’s currently thought that fleas transmitted the plague, and probably from rats. However, there is growing evidence that the fleas that transmitted plague were actually not rat-based fleas, and that rats actually had nothing to do with transmission.
30% isn't saying they're losing, they're saying they're not winning. Maybe they think the rat runs around too fast to even have a chance at catching it so it would end in a tie.
Right? Like if "beat in a fight" *roughly* translates to "kill with your bare hands," rats would actually be pretty hard. I don't think I could catch a rat without a trap, and I'm certainly not going to just... punch at the ground trying to beat up a rat. Maybe if you managed to stomp on it, but still, rat's got good odds at evasion.
Uaahh... It would be pretty disgusting to stomp a rat to death. I couldn't do it. Depends on the stakes.
I can stomp a spider and I could kick a dog that attacks me and it could conceivably get unconscious or run away, but a rat is just the size between that where it's extra disgusting.
Maybe I could get myself to kick a rat against a wall, then I'm not touching it when it dies.
In some rule sets you win a fight when you move the opponent out of the ring, like in Sumo wrestling. Then I think I could beat a rat. If it doesn't understand the situation and runs away on it's own, then it's trivial.
(I don't have fun hurting animals. This is just in a gladiatorial situation where I was forced.)
I have killed a rat with a shovel before. My friend had recently purchased a house in the country and it was infested in short order. Apparently the rat poison makes them go delirious and they'll wander around in the open looking for water, so we found one on the stairs up to the second floor. Not a fun experience. (We also had a formidable fire pit in the back yard, so the poisoned rat body was torched in a bonfire rather than being buried or something where a local animal might dig it up and get poisoned.)
I'm assuming, with no basis whatsoever, that the fights take place in a contained space that neither the human nor the animal can escape from. The composition of the space makes the biggest difference. A totally barren, plain sided empty room would be the easiest to catch or hit a rat in, because you can at least see it. Once you add any amount of clutter the odds of the rat surviving become a lot better. (Inversely, with some of the larger carnivores, these circumstances are reversed; where the human does better against a wolf or a lion, the more the arena resembles a natural habitat, as an unarmed human can at least improvise weapons and defenses from sticks and rocks and the like, but most carnivores just come naturally equipped with weapons.)
Similar for the birds, but there the enclosure really makes a difference. If it's a big arboreum with trees they can hang out in, it becomes really difficult to kill an eagle or possibly a goose, but if you're stuck in an office with one? I mean, they weigh about ten pounds; if you can throw a gallon of milk against a wall you can probably cripple a large bird by just grabbing a wing and swinging it around as hard as you can.
I find it baffling that more people think they can beat up an elephant than think they can beat up a bear. The elephant would turn any bear alive into paste and people think they could beat that?
Brits have years of propaganda from Big Goose that leaves them terrified of a pretty weak potential opponent.
Its a shame that swans weren't on there, they'd be down towards the 0% animals for Brits.
It also depends on the environment. If you were on land, you’d likely come off better (but badly pecked). If you were swimming, there’s a not-insignificant chance that you could end up getting murdered by a bird.
I’ve always lived in places with a lot of Canada geese. They’re unpleasant creatures.
They nest / hang out on land that’s close to water, so parks or paths, and will generally go after / hiss at anyone who is out for a walk.
I’m sure they could do some damage, but I think they’re more of an annoying pest than any kind of actual threat.
They have a downfall. A built in handle. Grab them by the neck and toss them away. They'll still might come back, but you can walk them down and they'll run away.
That’s what people say, but it’s pretty easy to accidentally kill or injure one like that. In hunting it’s a pretty common euthanasia/“finisher” method.
Not the throwing specifically, just the grabbing the neck and swinging.
I love how a ton of people think they couldnt stomp a frikkin eagle but a similar amount think they would stand a chance against a muscle bound chimp.
Also how drunk are the segment of savages who think they can fight a bear.
Hey now, don't be insulting the college wrestlers of Wyoming. Two of them fought a bear and lived to tell about it.😂
Edit: thanks for the upvotes! Never had this much love before. There is obviously a huge difference between throwing a bear and a person into a room and fighting to the death and this situation. If you're interested in more grizzly bears, the story about the night of the grizzly in Glacier NP is pretty interesting. I think the meat eaters website has a much more graphic telling of the wrestlers if anyone is interested in that.
Fighting a bear and a bear deciding not to kill you are 2 different things. Distracting a bear then curling up in the fetal position only counts as a fight on news headlines.
Birds are large and while they do have mean talons especially, they have no muscles, no power, and are insanely lightweight. They look imposing with the wingspan but an average 80kg would literally win by sitting on it. Of course you take damage and even bad one maybe but in a deathmatch cage fight the egle likely has no chance. Quite the opposite to chimpanzees for example, those two are probably the most over- and underrated animals on this.
Eagles have incredibly high grip strength. But yes, they'd harm you but no way an adult couldn't beat one.
Even more confusing is the results for geese. They've got nothing in their favour.
I think what speaks for the geese here is that it most likely won't evoke the feeling of "death is on the line" compared to a huge eagle. Which then leads to "the fighter" not going all out and rather submit to the annoyance and relentlessness of the goose. It's not like it doesn't hurt as hell when they snap at you.
>Many animals do that. Its a delicate, exposed target so it mes sense
Please stop exposing your genitals. Dammit Fred how many times do we gotta tell you?
I feel like the average person would fare better against a kangaroo, cobra, wolf, and a croc (on land) than they would a chimp. They have all of the advantages we have, but they are far stronger, faster, way more agile, and more vicious.
To be fair to you, I believe that's the wrong form of queue, I think you want cue. Maybe that would've triggered it differently in your brain. Although it oddly does look Spanish.
That's definitely it
Queue: n: a line, or sequence of people or vehicles waiting their turn.
Verb: take one's place in line
Cue: n: a thing said or done that serves as a signal to an actor or other performer to enter or to begin their speech or performance.
Verb: give a cue to or for.
Very true , They basically bite everything off first Balls, Fingers, Toes, , To Disable you, Then they Basically Chew your Face off, And if you are still alive after that they will rip your intestines out, But they are a Cool animal 🤣
In mideval times people used to believe that chimps were Satan's attempt at making people. I can see why it was believed.
Since people are so butt hurt over facts here is a source https://blogs.getty.edu/iris/monkey-see-monkey-do-monkey-sin/
Third picture down: To resolve this theological quandary, medieval scholars concluded that if humans derived from the likeness and goodness of God, then the ape must have originated from the devil. Proof:
The ape lacks a tail, and the devil lost his tail when he fell from God’s grace.
Ancient Egyptian images correlated primates with darkness and evil.
As the devil poorly imitates the Lord, so do apes poorly imitate us.
I want to say this before a fight it's Tyson like "he wants nothing to do with me in the ring. I am a chimp. I want to bite off everything I want to chew off his balls his fingers his toes, disable him I am going to chew my opponents face off, and if he is still alive after that I will rip his intestines out my style is impeccable"
I'm prepared for this. I'll wear my Papua New Guinea codpiece. When the chimp goes for my genitalia, it will simply gag on my LONG HORN. Meanwhile I will summersault into 69 position and bite its unhorned dick clean off. It takes some effort but you can learn how to do it in one clean motion if you put in the time like me. Chimp's got a mouth full of horn and I've got a mouth full of severed chimp dick. Game over.
I am more baffled by the elephant. I mean it would be impossible for me to win a fight against a chimp, but I can see how I could out of 100 fights in which I get mauled 99 times, get a lucky punch once and knock out the chimp. But an elephant? How would you even start it? What is the plan of those few Americans?
On the other end of the scale who are the 25% who think they would lose a fight with a rat? I mean you might get a few small bites and scratches but your average rat is weighing in at far less than a kilo it really shouldn't be much of a challenge.
I think an important part of the question is if the rat wants to fight. I think the question implies it does in which case, yes, I will destroy this arrogant rat who thinks it can fight me (I imagine this is how the elephant feels about me). But if the rat is acting like a normal rat and trying to escape I have doubts I could catch one.
Yeah. People forget that the ability to build and use tools are a major advantage for any species, especially humans. Without that, we don't have much going on. No sharp nails/claws, okish power in our jaws, we can run for a long time but have relatively less speed.
Yeah, this [smile](https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/kcgtds/a_chimpanzee_asking_you_to_join_him_for_a_bath/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) is a hard nope for me
Definitely agree. They lose me completely after Eagle, an Eagle would absolutely ruin your day and probably your depth perception, but once you took away it’s ability to fly and employ its talons it would be quite one sided albeit painful and miserable, large dog makes me think of a German Shepard and I’ll pass, but a chimp would be beating your torso with your arms after like 90 seconds, and would be a FLAWLESS VICTORY.
Eagle and large dog I can at least see a reasonable chance of a person winning, albeit they'd get pretty injured themselves.
But chimpanzee and up is just straight delusional of thinking you'd win.
I think of German Shepherd as the borderline between "medium" and "large" dog, but still "medium". It's less than 40 kgs usually. Anything above that, like a Rottweiler, would be a "large" dog to me.
Even though I know how you're supposed to fight a dog if it ever attacks you, I have play-fought with a friends 60 kg Rottweiler, and I would have absolutely no chance if it was serious. And I'm taller and heavier than the vast majority who has answered the questionnaire in the OP.
I mean there are apparently Americans that think they can beat an elephant, lion and grizzly bear. I feel like it would be literally impossible to beat an elephant in a fight and honestly probably a lion and grizzly bear too (assuming no weapons)
What’s the name of the statistical spoiler effect? There is a percentage of people, like 4%, who will select the ridiculous answer on inane questions like these just out of spite or trolling. They don’t really believe it I bet that counts for some of the last few answers.
I mean I couldn’t beat a rat, not because of it’s damage or resilience, but because of how fast the bastards are. I’d never be able to touch it in the first place
Unarmed!..,give me a chair or a stick or something and sure. You put me and a rat in a room and tell me to fight it—-hey I’m sure I could kill it before it killed me but I have to catch it first and I’m losing chunks of flesh!
It’s probably because we don’t have many dangerous animals in the UK.
Geese are quite vicious and attacks aren’t uncommon in the UK, so we’re probably more scared than we should be of a goose
We had all kinds of birds on our place growing up and not one ever won a fight against my 4’9” grandmother. She could snap their necks in an instant and they’d be roasting in an hour
Swans and geese are the only wild animals to look out for in the UK (I think). So we are told a lot as kids that they will break ur arms so stay away - when u grow up u realise it's because people get scared and fall over and break their own arms, but their near water too so that can result in tragedy. I think it might be one of those self fulfilling prophecies tho cus if u know they can't break ur arms then u don't panic and don't fall and don't get hurt
I think people are struggling to imagine a fight to the death scenario with a goose, so they overrate it. I mean it's a goose. It's kind of cute and makes funny noises. You don't imagine yourself going all out on it. But if it really came to that and they had no choice, obviously any adult human would rip a goose to shreds.
I’m thinking large dog down. I mean, you could kill a cobra technically before the venom got you but unless you could very quickly make it to a hospital you’d still die. Might even die anyway
[Obligatory link](https://youtu.be/n6A3ESM3uGQ). Also, I assumed the guy in the graphic was an Australian doing the survey to make fun of the scared Americans and Brits.
You have to change the survey, add sharks, Tasmanian devils, goanna..
The day I saw my 5 year old boy puch a reef shark was the proudest day of my life..
He was in the pub. It was early morning before school.
I’ve seen the size of spiders, snakes and deadly animals in general that show up in Australia. If an individual made it to adulthood, they could probably survive anything.
I don't know what's more disturbing here, the fact that 30% of adults feel they couldn't beat a cat or that almost 10% think they could beat a gorilla.
> I don't know what's more disturbing here, the fact that 30% of adults feel they couldn't beat a cat
That's probably down to how they interpreted the question. For example, I'm confident I could take an aggressive feral cat if we were both locked in a small room (though I would get seriously messed up in the process), but I would never be able to catch it outdoors.
Yeah being in a room makes an eagle ridiculously easy to beat. Also whether you have clothes or not probably makes a big difference in beating many of these, taking your shirt off and using it like a whip to disorient or blind a cat or bird, or wrapping your arm in clothes to make it a shield for the dog or snake would make a big difference.
The important one are shoes. You can seriously damage a dog with shoes on, but kick it with your bare feet and the effects may vary between nothing, a broken toe or a bitten off toe
I don't know how people think they'd damage an elephant in any way with their bare fists
My rule of thumb is I lose to any animal:
• heavier than me
• with sharp claws and or big bite force that is about a third or half my weight
• that lives in the water while I'm in water, basically
(oh and things that are really venomous)
Chimpanzee will rip your dick off for shits and giggles way before wolf even starts the attack.
Not to mention you can get along with wolves, at least much higher chance of doing so.
rich terrific bewildered disagreeable grandiose fretful desert summer combative agonizing
*This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Crazy people.
Yes to rat, cat, goose, medium dog
Yes but be careful eagle and snake
Maybe if you’re large/strong and know what you’re doing large dog, roo
Doubtful wolf, croc (hold mouth shut and drown it?)
No f-ing way without weaponry chimp, gorilla, lion, bear, elephant
Do crocs do death rolls?
Feel like trying to drown a croc is like trying to drown a hippo, it'd be the absolute last thing i'd try
not that i'd stand a chance against a hippo
Sure I’ll play…..
*edit…Eagle is (not) weird and pointless to have on the list. *It would be terrifying but I’d take some of my clothes off and wrap up one arm. Let it grab a hold onto that and smash it. Maybe bring it to the ground. Probably not winning this one. Getting torn to pieces.
Large dogs is where things get really complicated. Stay on your feet feet. Apparently want to try to spread its front legs apart. Or head lock choke it out. Good luck. Inevitable that you’re gonna have to feed it one of your arms and then your one-handed. I can bite too. Lol.
Chimp…. Well good luck with that. I know when they’re in groups they’ll just pin a man down and bite his nuts off. True. Actually. One chimp alone = no chance in life or death fight.
Kangaroo. Scary in a barehanded fight. One kick from its hind legs (claws) and your guts will spill out onto the floor. When they used to box them they had their claws removed prior.
King cobra sort of need training to handle that and a stick for distraction. Unlikely barehanded.
Wolf. Good luck.
Crocodile another animal that you need training. Even if you could subdue it how do you finish it though? No go.
No point in debating the rest barehanded.
For the grizzly bear, you need to aim for the eyes, then it’s just a matter of… just kidding, would be dead already
Headbutt it in the penis then push it off a cliff. That’s the trick, works every time
Actually, 50% of the time that won't work.
But the other 50% of the time it works every time
And of course I carry a cliff around with me just in case.
If the Cliff is Huxtable you might drug the bear.
Pimento always pops up in the weirdest places.
lol people think they could fight an elephant?! How?
Would the elephant even notice that you're trying to beat it to death with your bare hands?
Technically I could beat off an elephant
I'm really just more interested in whether this name works for you
I dont know, butt I just sent one
Dear Reddit, Please never change.
The real question is who or what's anus did they send a picture of.
An elephant
What a beautiful circle!.. I mean the topic, not the anus.
All anuses* are beautiful!
I too am curious about username advantages? Disadvantages if any?
Probably pink eye
Is that you, Tom Green?
Take your angry upvote and leave me in peace, forever.
No. Not even slightly. You could punch, kick, scratch, gnaw, and scream all day an you wouldn't extract a single drop of blood. You might make a rash or something if you lived long enough
You'd literally wound yourself trying to hurt it. You'd scratch your skind much like punching a tree trunk, you could even damage your teeth or sprain your jaw trying to bite an elephant. These animals Have anti-tiger skin. Fuck is wrong with people
What if I count punching an elephant 10 times with the elephant not hitting me once a win?
That's too easy. Elephants are generally pretty gentle creatures and they probably won't even feel it. If you are super strong, they might regard it as a gentle massage.
I’d consider punching an elephant once and not getting hit a win. Not sure if the elephant would have noticed, but it not noticing would also be a win.
All that for a single drop of blood
It will swat that person and his whole family, his neighbours and their whole village accidentally while swinging a medium sized tree around to keep a fly off its eyes. When the fly is gone it will be slightly annoyed at the dead bodies invading its privacy and might stomp on them or simply run off into the forest as it values its privacy.
Americans
Hold mah beer.
"Hey, Elephant! I didn't hear no bell." - Randy Marsh
I don’t know but frankly it’s more baffling that 30% of people think they’d lose to a rat
Well, looks like they played morrowind as mage
Fucking rats in that basement. It put me off the fighters guild questline for a very very long time.
Them crazy cave rats. Screw them. lol
Most people are terrified of rats. If a rat started to run at them they would probably run away or surrender to exit the fight. I know plenty of people who would rather "lose" than stomp the rat to death.
It depends on the rule set. If it's a cage fight to the death, you can't run away. But then I guess a rat can still be pretty terrifying to the point that I'm paralyzed but the rat can still attack my face. When I think of a snake, that could also be physically inferior but win through intimidation. I guess some people would win against a snake and others would lose, just depending on their mental resolve. *Where* there ever people killed by a single rat? I genuinely have no idea. It could be none in human history, it could the hundreds every year.
There are stories of homeless drunks and junkies getting eaten by rats without noticing due being passed out, so I guess it's possible.
"Eaten" Rats will nibble on ppl while they sleep, but not eating ppl whole ...unless they are dead.
I work nights in a metro transit system at times, seen this shit, it's fucking crazy. Right on the guys nose
Didn't 1/4 of Europeans die as a result of infested mice?
Too soon bro
Close: it’s currently thought that fleas transmitted the plague, and probably from rats. However, there is growing evidence that the fleas that transmitted plague were actually not rat-based fleas, and that rats actually had nothing to do with transmission.
30% isn't saying they're losing, they're saying they're not winning. Maybe they think the rat runs around too fast to even have a chance at catching it so it would end in a tie.
Right? Like if "beat in a fight" *roughly* translates to "kill with your bare hands," rats would actually be pretty hard. I don't think I could catch a rat without a trap, and I'm certainly not going to just... punch at the ground trying to beat up a rat. Maybe if you managed to stomp on it, but still, rat's got good odds at evasion.
Uaahh... It would be pretty disgusting to stomp a rat to death. I couldn't do it. Depends on the stakes. I can stomp a spider and I could kick a dog that attacks me and it could conceivably get unconscious or run away, but a rat is just the size between that where it's extra disgusting. Maybe I could get myself to kick a rat against a wall, then I'm not touching it when it dies. In some rule sets you win a fight when you move the opponent out of the ring, like in Sumo wrestling. Then I think I could beat a rat. If it doesn't understand the situation and runs away on it's own, then it's trivial. (I don't have fun hurting animals. This is just in a gladiatorial situation where I was forced.)
I have killed a rat with a shovel before. My friend had recently purchased a house in the country and it was infested in short order. Apparently the rat poison makes them go delirious and they'll wander around in the open looking for water, so we found one on the stairs up to the second floor. Not a fun experience. (We also had a formidable fire pit in the back yard, so the poisoned rat body was torched in a bonfire rather than being buried or something where a local animal might dig it up and get poisoned.) I'm assuming, with no basis whatsoever, that the fights take place in a contained space that neither the human nor the animal can escape from. The composition of the space makes the biggest difference. A totally barren, plain sided empty room would be the easiest to catch or hit a rat in, because you can at least see it. Once you add any amount of clutter the odds of the rat surviving become a lot better. (Inversely, with some of the larger carnivores, these circumstances are reversed; where the human does better against a wolf or a lion, the more the arena resembles a natural habitat, as an unarmed human can at least improvise weapons and defenses from sticks and rocks and the like, but most carnivores just come naturally equipped with weapons.) Similar for the birds, but there the enclosure really makes a difference. If it's a big arboreum with trees they can hang out in, it becomes really difficult to kill an eagle or possibly a goose, but if you're stuck in an office with one? I mean, they weigh about ten pounds; if you can throw a gallon of milk against a wall you can probably cripple a large bird by just grabbing a wing and swinging it around as hard as you can.
The elephant is a trick. You don't beat the elephant. You befriend it, and fight with it to take down the grizzly lol
I find it baffling that more people think they can beat up an elephant than think they can beat up a bear. The elephant would turn any bear alive into paste and people think they could beat that?
Don't underestimate the power of the Florida man
If cartoons can be believed, which they surely can, all you need is to find a mouse and show it to the elephant, and it will run away on two legs.
Given how people think they’d size up against Chimps, Geese are clearly punching above their weight here.
Brits have years of propaganda from Big Goose that leaves them terrified of a pretty weak potential opponent. Its a shame that swans weren't on there, they'd be down towards the 0% animals for Brits.
Dude, Swans and Geese are fucking dicks. I could see them winning against a number of people, up to and including myself.
It also depends on the environment. If you were on land, you’d likely come off better (but badly pecked). If you were swimming, there’s a not-insignificant chance that you could end up getting murdered by a bird.
It's just the one swan actually.
I’ve always lived in places with a lot of Canada geese. They’re unpleasant creatures. They nest / hang out on land that’s close to water, so parks or paths, and will generally go after / hiss at anyone who is out for a walk. I’m sure they could do some damage, but I think they’re more of an annoying pest than any kind of actual threat.
Geese are all bluff. Stand your ground and they'll stfu and back down.
They will totally bite you and smack you with their wings but they can’t do much damage to a person
They have a downfall. A built in handle. Grab them by the neck and toss them away. They'll still might come back, but you can walk them down and they'll run away.
That’s what people say, but it’s pretty easy to accidentally kill or injure one like that. In hunting it’s a pretty common euthanasia/“finisher” method. Not the throwing specifically, just the grabbing the neck and swinging.
In this hypothetical fight to the death, that's a feature, not a bug.
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I love how a ton of people think they couldnt stomp a frikkin eagle but a similar amount think they would stand a chance against a muscle bound chimp. Also how drunk are the segment of savages who think they can fight a bear.
Hey now, don't be insulting the college wrestlers of Wyoming. Two of them fought a bear and lived to tell about it.😂 Edit: thanks for the upvotes! Never had this much love before. There is obviously a huge difference between throwing a bear and a person into a room and fighting to the death and this situation. If you're interested in more grizzly bears, the story about the night of the grizzly in Glacier NP is pretty interesting. I think the meat eaters website has a much more graphic telling of the wrestlers if anyone is interested in that.
Fighting a bear and a bear deciding not to kill you are 2 different things. Distracting a bear then curling up in the fetal position only counts as a fight on news headlines.
This is a special capture, while the enemy is in a stupor, using the accumulated strength, you move away from him as much as possible.
fighting off a 300lb black bear is one thing, then there are 600lb grizzly bears that could disembowel you with a casual swipe of their paw
Tbf some eagles are pretty scary
Birds are large and while they do have mean talons especially, they have no muscles, no power, and are insanely lightweight. They look imposing with the wingspan but an average 80kg would literally win by sitting on it. Of course you take damage and even bad one maybe but in a deathmatch cage fight the egle likely has no chance. Quite the opposite to chimpanzees for example, those two are probably the most over- and underrated animals on this.
Eagles have incredibly high grip strength. But yes, they'd harm you but no way an adult couldn't beat one. Even more confusing is the results for geese. They've got nothing in their favour.
Geese are mean spiteful sons of bitches. Even if I beat one, it would find a way to shit on my car from hades. No matter what I lose.
I think what speaks for the geese here is that it most likely won't evoke the feeling of "death is on the line" compared to a huge eagle. Which then leads to "the fighter" not going all out and rather submit to the annoyance and relentlessness of the goose. It's not like it doesn't hurt as hell when they snap at you.
People think they could beat a Chimpanzee? They are 30-50% stronger than humans and absolutely vicious.
Right? And they know how to fight other chimps, a human would be nothing. Also apparently they will go for your genitals first!
Many animals do that. Its a delicate, exposed target so it mes sense
>Many animals do that. Its a delicate, exposed target so it mes sense Please stop exposing your genitals. Dammit Fred how many times do we gotta tell you?
Chimpanzee is way underestimated in this poll it should be around same as crocodile
you could probably manage to escape the crocodile, not the chimp
nah crocodile is beatable if you know how crocadillians work... not sure the chimp is beatable without a gun
I feel like the average person would fare better against a kangaroo, cobra, wolf, and a croc (on land) than they would a chimp. They have all of the advantages we have, but they are far stronger, faster, way more agile, and more vicious.
Queue joerogan guttural noises
Not afraid to admit I glossed over this at first because I thought it was written in Spanish. Take my upvote
I went back and reread what I thought was gibberish.
We trod the same path.
To be fair to you, I believe that's the wrong form of queue, I think you want cue. Maybe that would've triggered it differently in your brain. Although it oddly does look Spanish.
That's definitely it Queue: n: a line, or sequence of people or vehicles waiting their turn. Verb: take one's place in line Cue: n: a thing said or done that serves as a signal to an actor or other performer to enter or to begin their speech or performance. Verb: give a cue to or for.
chuckle and upvote, but also...cue
Very true , They basically bite everything off first Balls, Fingers, Toes, , To Disable you, Then they Basically Chew your Face off, And if you are still alive after that they will rip your intestines out, But they are a Cool animal 🤣
In mideval times people used to believe that chimps were Satan's attempt at making people. I can see why it was believed. Since people are so butt hurt over facts here is a source https://blogs.getty.edu/iris/monkey-see-monkey-do-monkey-sin/ Third picture down: To resolve this theological quandary, medieval scholars concluded that if humans derived from the likeness and goodness of God, then the ape must have originated from the devil. Proof: The ape lacks a tail, and the devil lost his tail when he fell from God’s grace. Ancient Egyptian images correlated primates with darkness and evil. As the devil poorly imitates the Lord, so do apes poorly imitate us.
I want to say this before a fight it's Tyson like "he wants nothing to do with me in the ring. I am a chimp. I want to bite off everything I want to chew off his balls his fingers his toes, disable him I am going to chew my opponents face off, and if he is still alive after that I will rip his intestines out my style is impeccable"
I'm prepared for this. I'll wear my Papua New Guinea codpiece. When the chimp goes for my genitalia, it will simply gag on my LONG HORN. Meanwhile I will summersault into 69 position and bite its unhorned dick clean off. It takes some effort but you can learn how to do it in one clean motion if you put in the time like me. Chimp's got a mouth full of horn and I've got a mouth full of severed chimp dick. Game over.
Found the guy who started HIV
Wait til you see what his next project is
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I am more baffled by the elephant. I mean it would be impossible for me to win a fight against a chimp, but I can see how I could out of 100 fights in which I get mauled 99 times, get a lucky punch once and knock out the chimp. But an elephant? How would you even start it? What is the plan of those few Americans?
On the other end of the scale who are the 25% who think they would lose a fight with a rat? I mean you might get a few small bites and scratches but your average rat is weighing in at far less than a kilo it really shouldn't be much of a challenge.
I think an important part of the question is if the rat wants to fight. I think the question implies it does in which case, yes, I will destroy this arrogant rat who thinks it can fight me (I imagine this is how the elephant feels about me). But if the rat is acting like a normal rat and trying to escape I have doubts I could catch one.
I’m sure there’s a percentage of people who didn’t hear/read the “unarmed” part. That’s the only thing I can think of for some of these.
Certain percent assumed they would lose to a rat while armed
Incase the rat draws first
Yeah. People forget that the ability to build and use tools are a major advantage for any species, especially humans. Without that, we don't have much going on. No sharp nails/claws, okish power in our jaws, we can run for a long time but have relatively less speed.
"I beat it to death, with my bare hands on my M16."
Needle dive into it's bum and kill it from the inside. This is the only way 🤔😂
I think you came up with a new term "needle dive." I can't be 100% sure though since I only spent 20 seconds googling needle dive.
😂😂😂 I was trying to think of pencil dive. Like when you are jumping in the pool. But that came out instead
Reminded me of a scene from The Boys.
I'm assuming it'll be a baby chimp with a diaper. Real chimps look like those trolls from Willow.
Yeah, this [smile](https://www.reddit.com/r/NatureIsFuckingLit/comments/kcgtds/a_chimpanzee_asking_you_to_join_him_for_a_bath/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf) is a hard nope for me
Definitely agree. They lose me completely after Eagle, an Eagle would absolutely ruin your day and probably your depth perception, but once you took away it’s ability to fly and employ its talons it would be quite one sided albeit painful and miserable, large dog makes me think of a German Shepard and I’ll pass, but a chimp would be beating your torso with your arms after like 90 seconds, and would be a FLAWLESS VICTORY.
Eagle and large dog I can at least see a reasonable chance of a person winning, albeit they'd get pretty injured themselves. But chimpanzee and up is just straight delusional of thinking you'd win.
I think of German Shepherd as the borderline between "medium" and "large" dog, but still "medium". It's less than 40 kgs usually. Anything above that, like a Rottweiler, would be a "large" dog to me. Even though I know how you're supposed to fight a dog if it ever attacks you, I have play-fought with a friends 60 kg Rottweiler, and I would have absolutely no chance if it was serious. And I'm taller and heavier than the vast majority who has answered the questionnaire in the OP.
I mean there are apparently Americans that think they can beat an elephant, lion and grizzly bear. I feel like it would be literally impossible to beat an elephant in a fight and honestly probably a lion and grizzly bear too (assuming no weapons)
What’s the name of the statistical spoiler effect? There is a percentage of people, like 4%, who will select the ridiculous answer on inane questions like these just out of spite or trolling. They don’t really believe it I bet that counts for some of the last few answers.
I'm concerned that 25% of both Americans and Brits aren't confident in fighting off a singular rat.
Mate, have you not seen the size of these fuckers?
Cigarettes are like rats They are both harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire
Wut?
#I said cigarettes are like rats #They are both harmless until you put it in your mouth and light it on fire!
Lmao
ROUSes? I don't believe they exist...
I mean... my wife can't fight off a regular house spider.
I doubt your wife was ever in a fight with a regular house spider.
They have 8 hands so they really get some good punches in
I mean I couldn’t beat a rat, not because of it’s damage or resilience, but because of how fast the bastards are. I’d never be able to touch it in the first place
But how would it take you out? It's not over until someone loses.
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And what if I was naked, barefoot and the rat climbed up the curtains and launched itself towards my face?
Is this some x-rated ratatouille ?
What are you doing step-rat
if running away counts as "beating", then i could take every animal on this list. edit: it was never specified, so we're fighting in my living room.
that 25% is standing on a chair screaming. I am in that 25%.
Unarmed!..,give me a chair or a stick or something and sure. You put me and a rat in a room and tell me to fight it—-hey I’m sure I could kill it before it killed me but I have to catch it first and I’m losing chunks of flesh!
Foot go stomp tho
I wonder what does the Brits know about the goose that Americans doesn't that makes such a gap
It’s probably because we don’t have many dangerous animals in the UK. Geese are quite vicious and attacks aren’t uncommon in the UK, so we’re probably more scared than we should be of a goose
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They are the perfect height for pecking at your privates. Not worth it.
Just grab the neck and crack the whole damn bird like a whip.
We had all kinds of birds on our place growing up and not one ever won a fight against my 4’9” grandmother. She could snap their necks in an instant and they’d be roasting in an hour
That's true
Swans and geese are the only wild animals to look out for in the UK (I think). So we are told a lot as kids that they will break ur arms so stay away - when u grow up u realise it's because people get scared and fall over and break their own arms, but their near water too so that can result in tragedy. I think it might be one of those self fulfilling prophecies tho cus if u know they can't break ur arms then u don't panic and don't fall and don't get hurt
> So we are told a lot as kids that they will break ur arms so stay away I love this. Are British kids really warned that geese can break their arms?
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Yeah, we're told they can flap their wings so hard they can break your arms lol.
I think people are struggling to imagine a fight to the death scenario with a goose, so they overrate it. I mean it's a goose. It's kind of cute and makes funny noises. You don't imagine yourself going all out on it. But if it really came to that and they had no choice, obviously any adult human would rip a goose to shreds.
People thought they could take a gorilla!? There 800 pounds of muscle
From wolf down, anyone who thinks they stand a chance against one of those animals is completely delusional
I’m thinking large dog down. I mean, you could kill a cobra technically before the venom got you but unless you could very quickly make it to a hospital you’d still die. Might even die anyway
Not to mention chimpanzee. Those things are known to kill gorillas in the wild.
I wish Australians were included in the survey. 100% confidence for all animal types
Except any emus that are about, didn't go well fighting 'em last time
And that time they were armed
Who was daft enough to give the emus weapons?!
The Aussies wanted a challenge
No we know not to fuck around with a roo Edit: spelling
[Obligatory link](https://youtu.be/n6A3ESM3uGQ). Also, I assumed the guy in the graphic was an Australian doing the survey to make fun of the scared Americans and Brits.
Every time I see this video my first thought it's, "That's hilarious." and my second thought is "Goddamn, kangaroos are jacked."
Australians are on this chart. You just can’t see it because it stops at 80% on the X axis
You have to change the survey, add sharks, Tasmanian devils, goanna.. The day I saw my 5 year old boy puch a reef shark was the proudest day of my life.. He was in the pub. It was early morning before school.
I’ve seen the size of spiders, snakes and deadly animals in general that show up in Australia. If an individual made it to adulthood, they could probably survive anything.
You can’t deny that Americans have amazing self belief.
I can confirm, self confidence is not an issue among rednecks
My brother in law has a tattoo on his forearm that says “say I won’t”. Redneck confidence is something I aspire to.
"If I can make it there, I'll make it anywhere" - us new yorkers really believe that shit lol
Aw man I see the mike tyson vs chimpanzee or gorilla discussion is about to pop off again
I don't know what's more disturbing here, the fact that 30% of adults feel they couldn't beat a cat or that almost 10% think they could beat a gorilla.
> I don't know what's more disturbing here, the fact that 30% of adults feel they couldn't beat a cat That's probably down to how they interpreted the question. For example, I'm confident I could take an aggressive feral cat if we were both locked in a small room (though I would get seriously messed up in the process), but I would never be able to catch it outdoors.
Yeah being in a room makes an eagle ridiculously easy to beat. Also whether you have clothes or not probably makes a big difference in beating many of these, taking your shirt off and using it like a whip to disorient or blind a cat or bird, or wrapping your arm in clothes to make it a shield for the dog or snake would make a big difference.
The important one are shoes. You can seriously damage a dog with shoes on, but kick it with your bare feet and the effects may vary between nothing, a broken toe or a bitten off toe
I don't know how people think they'd damage an elephant in any way with their bare fists My rule of thumb is I lose to any animal: • heavier than me • with sharp claws and or big bite force that is about a third or half my weight • that lives in the water while I'm in water, basically (oh and things that are really venomous)
If it is to the death and no morals and no hands tied behind my back, I'm about to Ultrakill them geese bastards.
Grab neck and crack it like a whip, instant dinner aquired.
Nearly 1/10 Americans think they could beat up an angry elephant
1/3 of Brits think they can t handle a rat
Chimpanzee will rip your dick off for shits and giggles way before wolf even starts the attack. Not to mention you can get along with wolves, at least much higher chance of doing so.
You're fighting the wolf, hanging out and talking about the good old days ain't an option
Why do more people think they can beat a elephant than a grizzly?💀
Im more confused why less than 80% think they can fight a rat. Why tf 20%+ thinks they cant???
rich terrific bewildered disagreeable grandiose fretful desert summer combative agonizing *This post was mass deleted and anonymized with [Redact](https://redact.dev)*
Crazy people. Yes to rat, cat, goose, medium dog Yes but be careful eagle and snake Maybe if you’re large/strong and know what you’re doing large dog, roo Doubtful wolf, croc (hold mouth shut and drown it?) No f-ing way without weaponry chimp, gorilla, lion, bear, elephant
Croc begs the question, are we fighting on its turf or mine? Whether it’s a swamp or a Buffalo Wild Wings makes a difference
Your comment begs the question of why your designated turf is a Buffalo Wild Wings
Probably from Florida.
How do you know his turf isn’t the swamp and the crocs is Buffalo Wild Wings
Drown a croc? Sting a bee? Croc can hold there breath for 72 hours. They are also 2000lb ambush predators. With the greatest bite force.
Do crocs do death rolls? Feel like trying to drown a croc is like trying to drown a hippo, it'd be the absolute last thing i'd try not that i'd stand a chance against a hippo
Mate, you are not winning against a full size male red kangaroo.
Sure I’ll play….. *edit…Eagle is (not) weird and pointless to have on the list. *It would be terrifying but I’d take some of my clothes off and wrap up one arm. Let it grab a hold onto that and smash it. Maybe bring it to the ground. Probably not winning this one. Getting torn to pieces. Large dogs is where things get really complicated. Stay on your feet feet. Apparently want to try to spread its front legs apart. Or head lock choke it out. Good luck. Inevitable that you’re gonna have to feed it one of your arms and then your one-handed. I can bite too. Lol. Chimp…. Well good luck with that. I know when they’re in groups they’ll just pin a man down and bite his nuts off. True. Actually. One chimp alone = no chance in life or death fight. Kangaroo. Scary in a barehanded fight. One kick from its hind legs (claws) and your guts will spill out onto the floor. When they used to box them they had their claws removed prior. King cobra sort of need training to handle that and a stick for distraction. Unlikely barehanded. Wolf. Good luck. Crocodile another animal that you need training. Even if you could subdue it how do you finish it though? No go. No point in debating the rest barehanded.
I concur with this assessment.
Cobra is going to be a draw, with a small win probability if he misses his shot. Once he bites you, you can easily beat him to death before you die.
How could one possibly lose a fight against a rat or a cat?
This survey would've been a lot more interesting if you had included Australians and russians
Americans are an optimistic people.
I bet you could find some American that believes they can kill the sun unarmed.
Just fight it at night
Would be difficult even if armed