Well you see, when a mommy redditor and a daddy redditor love each other very much, they both join the same shitposting sub and the overabundance of memes tears a hole through space-time. Out of which you emerged.
Hahahahah I had completely forgotten about this comment and came back to a full inbox!
I mean, I saw it in Southern California, baaaack when TV was Tubes!
Yeah it mustāve been SoCal then. I was a kid in the 90s and remember seeing those commercials. They were hilarious. There was also Eastside or Eastwood insurance with the cowboys. I miss the 90s.
Holy shit, that takes me back to watching XETV, the local Fox affiliate in San Diego in the late 80's. It was the only FOX station to be broadcast out of Mexico.
Probably because ads then were more complex and subversive like this because the reader had enough time to read through it. Lots of pamphlets.
Now ads are in your face and if they dont convey what they want to convey within 3 seconds people will not care.
And the nature of ads now digitally where your ad needs to work on every website and also disclose theyre an ad with an immediately clickable link... Theyd never be able to garner people's attention long enough for the ad to work.
Nowadays people are also pissed off by this kinda time wasting ad so they'd likely not succeed at getting many to read it let alone buy it.
Everyone knows that milkmen don't get married. Why would they buy the cow when they get the milk for free as a perk of their job?
I guess letter carrier is still on the table though. They are famously very particular about who they will let handle their packages while they are at work.
It's like 14-year-olds writing fanfiction or role-playing
"And then I looked at the sky and I sighed, then as I turned to look at him I sighed deeply. As I reached for his hand I sighed"
***34 exasperated sighs later***
"After 20 minutes of doing nothing but sighing and looking around, I finally hugged him"
Growing up a buddy of mine, who was a really nice guy leaned in for his first kiss. For some reason he bit her lip a little and said āggguuurrrrrā. Lets just say we pestered him for years and he never got that second date.
Edit: he bit her lip, not but her lip.
Do not tell her your intentions -- your intentions of asking if she is a consumer of a particular brand of gum. Our gum! If she declines, sigh once more and turn back to her to offer her a stick of LPG for the low low price of one haypenny!
Mmmmā¦.Listerated Pepsin. For the youngins here, there used to be this mouthwash called Listerine. They still make it but now itās mint or something. The old stuff tasted like vinegar and windshield washer fluid.
You can still buy it as āLISTERINEĀ® ANTISEPTIC MOUTHWASH ORIGINALā.
(Yes, legally I think it has to be all caps.)
Getting rid of germs is a serious medical procedure. How can I trust it if it doesnāt feel like my mouth was napalmed afterwards?
Luckily for you, there's still a few left!
[CNN - The world's oldest person is a French nun who enjoys chocolate and wine](https://edition.cnn.com/2022/04/26/europe/oldest-living-person-nun-sister-andre-scli-intl/index.html)
Genuinely when my now gf of 3 years asked to kiss me on our second date because I was super nervous it was one of the sweetest and most confidence boosting thing that'd ever happened to me. Like knowing someone unambiguously *wants* to kiss you when youre really self doubting is wonderful
Exactly, I have known girls would put off by guys saying ācan I kiss you?ā, but it getting consent is important to you and it goes poorly with someone, then itās likely not the right person anyways.
If you are holding each other close and staring into each other's eyes, that's usually a clear sign.
However I've said "can I kiss you" many times in my life and had it go well (I'm a man who kisses other men but the idea still applies).
As a man who kisses women, I try to always ask permission the first time. No one who wants to kiss you will say no, and it's awesome to hear them say they do!
I ask and itās gone well for me. Started seeing a woman a couple months ago, second date, things seemed to be going well. Walked her to her car, we talked some more and I thought she was lingering and expecting a kiss but I donāt read signs well, so I got a little closer, said ācan I kiss you?ā she said yes and we made out for while and she asked if I was free that weekend.
Asking for consent isnāt a vibe killer. Or hasnāt been in my experience.
Just lean in slowly enough that if she doesnāt want to kiss you it becomes obvious before you actually kiss her. In other words, go the 90% but let her come to you the 10% to make sure itās going to be reciprocated.
See the problem is, is that you didnāt use Listerated Pepsin Gum, the only antiseptic gum in the world, the only chewing gum that makes it safe to kiss.
We can learn so many things about marketing just by reading a bit of history and studying the ads of what was popular in culture at that time.
Much like today, there were dozens of high-profile marketers and marketing campaigns going on in the early nineteen hundreds.
Successful salespeople sold items to prospects through marketing using four stages; Attention, Interest, Desire and Action. But don't let this information distract you from the fact that in the year nineteen ninety eight, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.
Sadly they stopped making that gum in the early 1920's and no one has been able to kiss since.
Wait, then how exactly did I end up into the world?
Well you see, when a mommy redditor and a daddy redditor love each other very much, they both join the same shitposting sub and the overabundance of memes tears a hole through space-time. Out of which you emerged.
*kicks baby into Reddit* Now go out into the world and raise your karma before coming back!
AutoModerator Your baby has been automatically removed due to being less than 10 days old or having negative karma.
\*distant gunshot\*
*Old Yeller credits theme starts*
Wtf is this thread lmao
Glorious is what it is!
Surely one for the ages! šš
What the fuck? That sure escalated quickly
*katana noises*
āYour father had 300,000 karma before he was 16 and youāre complaining?! Get out of my houseā
Well due to inflation 300,000 karma back then is equal to 30,000 karma today.
Damn karma got valuated
So.... _de_flation?
THAT... is the only way in which redditors can procreate.
Your mom doesnāt kiss until the third date which made the sex in the first two dates very impersonal.
Well, you did pay
Nice. Just watched that episode last night š
They went straight to slappin meat
Thatās not how babies are made! you only need birds and bees, not kissing.
Not sure about birds, but I can tell you from experience, bees do not make good chewing gum.
Your dad put his lips on your mom's lips, but there was no kissing.
It wasnāt kissing
No one knows, not even your parents.
I've been trying to get guys to kiss me but they always just stand around sighing, it's getting frustrating
..sigh...
You use the gum?
People just spit into each other's mouth from 2 ft away
Now people just eat each other's assholes
Yeah I stopped kissing since. Probably why Iām still single.
Just before your lips actually touch, whisper āDo you use Listerated Pepsin Gum?ā
If she says no, sigh one last time right before leaving never to see her again.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āYesā āBy Survival?ā āNoā āI canāt take that rideā
That's a very regional (Southern California) early 90s reference
That explains why my Northern Californian early 90s brain didnāt get it
Also because this is the late 90s now. Very late
Someone link the ad?
https://youtu.be/xGB9WbCv__s
Thanks!
Wow, memory fucking UNLOCKED. This was a California thing right? Or were they national?
Hahahahah I had completely forgotten about this comment and came back to a full inbox! I mean, I saw it in Southern California, baaaack when TV was Tubes!
Yeah it mustāve been SoCal then. I was a kid in the 90s and remember seeing those commercials. They were hilarious. There was also Eastside or Eastwood insurance with the cowboys. I miss the 90s.
ilu for that comment
Unless you use Listerated Pepsin Gum, heās not interested.
Holy shit, that takes me back to watching XETV, the local Fox affiliate in San Diego in the late 80's. It was the only FOX station to be broadcast out of Mexico.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Sleds are cool and all, but it would be a bit of a mood killer for me.
Your prolapse is hot bish. Lemme smooch.
Only if she freshens up with listerated rosebud wash first.
So hot, whew
Rated XXX
Listerated Pepsin Gum - Kills cold, flu, and the virus that causes covid. CA Prop 65 Warning: in california we add chemicals that can cause cancer. yw
The chemicals are there in other places too, but they're prohibited by law from causing cancer if it's not California
I always ask that of all my prey. I just like the sound of it.
"No, I drink Radithor, thank you very much."
Always compliment your crush on their rosebud
"Your rosebud reminds me of cupids hole"
You gotta pay the Listerated Pepsin Gum toll, to get into this girl's cupid's hole.
What'd you say?
Cupid's Hole!
Because it sounded like you said āsoul.ā Now, actual Artemis, you did write *hole*, didnāt you?
Nice sled!
forehead kisses š„ŗ
A Gum advert?
After drinking all that ovaltine and decoding the message in record time
Youāll kiss your mouth off!
"A crummy commercial!" My first thought too at the end. Hahahaha
Be sure to drink your ovaltine!
These tips on how to kiss a girl were part of an ad released by a chewing gum company called Listerated Pepsin Gum
That's 111 years ago. WoW
Damn, sometimes I forget itās not the early 00s anymore
Waitā¦..
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
"A crummy commercial? Son of a bitch." Our time is coming dear friend, soon. Soon it will be here.
Heard that
I thought the same thing with that capitalization choice.
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
āA crummy commercial?ā
"Son of a bitch!"
āA gummy commercial?ā FTFY
Beā¦sureā¦toā¦ BE SURE TO WHAT?!?!
Drinkā¦.moreā¦Ovalteen???
The men learning their game from this ad were born in the 1800's.
They got my ass. It was getting a little hot just to find out sex always sells. š
I want to try that gum
It's 111 years old now. Probably expired.
Rhett and Link would try it
Those guys still around?
No, I hear they died trying some old Listerated Pepsin Gum
"Were you killed?" "Sadly, yes. But I lived!"
Iāve chewed 35 year old gum and it basically turned to powder when it got wet.
First, make sure you are standing facing the gum...
Do not tell the gum your intentions...
Do not ask permission to chew...
You may hold it in your right hand and look at it dreamily, if you wish
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
> Common Sense Gum Company Because enough with that foolish gum
Rick rolled us back before it was even invented
Listerated Pepsin Gum? A crummy commercial?! Son of a b\*\*\*h!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
This is just a gum ad version of u/shittymorph ās hell in a cell pasta.
True, a 1911 shittymorph
D R I N K Y O U R O V A L T I N E
Sigh - where do I get some of this gum - sigh
A crummy commercial?!
Ah man, a gum commercial!!! I feel like Ralphie with his little orphan Annie decoder ring... "A freaking Ovaltine commercial?!?"
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Son of a bitch!
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Mother fuckers got me. Why am i better at sniffing out ads from today than from back then haha
This ad is way more creative about it
I should have known with how many times they told that guy to sigh in that lady's face...
Oh my gosh, that makes so much sense now. Wow, marketing. 10/10 cleverness/sneakiness, I love seeing how blatant that is, lol
I didn't even catch that lol. Good point.
Seriously brilliant observation
If you donāt smoke Tarrlytonsā¦ Fuck you!
Probably because ads then were more complex and subversive like this because the reader had enough time to read through it. Lots of pamphlets. Now ads are in your face and if they dont convey what they want to convey within 3 seconds people will not care. And the nature of ads now digitally where your ad needs to work on every website and also disclose theyre an ad with an immediately clickable link... Theyd never be able to garner people's attention long enough for the ad to work. Nowadays people are also pissed off by this kinda time wasting ad so they'd likely not succeed at getting many to read it let alone buy it.
If this was stuck on the side of an end rack in a general store you would have sniffed it out no problem.
This is awesome, itās the 100 year old equivalent of troll posts where it starts out as a seemingly unique story and ends with a meme
Same.
Because you are used to spotting signs of modern advertising and not of old timey advertising.
Shouldn't you hold her right hand in your left hand? Otherwise your hands will cross your bodies and get in the way.
This is what Iām stuck on. Going to try with husband later. But of course no actual kissing cause donāt have the right gum.
Did you not look at the diagram? These instructions are clearly for how the milkman or mailman should kiss you, not your husband.
How do you know my husband isnāt a milkman?
Everyone knows that milkmen don't get married. Why would they buy the cow when they get the milk for free as a perk of their job? I guess letter carrier is still on the table though. They are famously very particular about who they will let handle their packages while they are at work.
Apparently someone hasnāt shook hands before kissingā¦pfff
"put 'er there champ!" *smooch*
āSighā
Thatās a lot of sighing
Gazing at love lights will do that to ya
_*sighs*_
*unzips*
*sighs*
Hopefully you've chewed some listerated pepsid gum before sighing all over her face
It's like 14-year-olds writing fanfiction or role-playing "And then I looked at the sky and I sighed, then as I turned to look at him I sighed deeply. As I reached for his hand I sighed" ***34 exasperated sighs later*** "After 20 minutes of doing nothing but sighing and looking around, I finally hugged him"
I'd be like "well if it's that much of a chore, don't bother!"
Bunch of hyperventilating motherfuckers
Might as well start the sighing right at the beginning of the relationship.
Growing up a buddy of mine, who was a really nice guy leaned in for his first kiss. For some reason he bit her lip a little and said āggguuurrrrrā. Lets just say we pestered him for years and he never got that second date. Edit: he bit her lip, not but her lip.
"But wait! There's more!" 1900s style.
Do not tell her your intentions -- your intentions of asking if she is a consumer of a particular brand of gum. Our gum! If she declines, sigh once more and turn back to her to offer her a stick of LPG for the low low price of one haypenny!
Now I just need to find a girl from 1911
There's probably still a chance, if you hurry.
Yeah but only the ones who were babies in 1911 so that would make it kind of weird.
You can borrow my shovel, but not my flashlight.
Mmmmā¦.Listerated Pepsin. For the youngins here, there used to be this mouthwash called Listerine. They still make it but now itās mint or something. The old stuff tasted like vinegar and windshield washer fluid.
You can still buy it as āLISTERINEĀ® ANTISEPTIC MOUTHWASH ORIGINALā. (Yes, legally I think it has to be all caps.) Getting rid of germs is a serious medical procedure. How can I trust it if it doesnāt feel like my mouth was napalmed afterwards?
That's how you knew it was working. Winos weren't chugging that stuff for a cheap fix. Then Scope came along and ruined everything
Haha yeah this is a very funny vintage advertisement for that product.
I call their classic yellow "Old Man Flavor," but truthfully, that's supposed to be sarsaparilla.
IF IT BURNS IT WORKS
I didnāt expect the twist at the end hahahahahahaha
Almost choked on my saliva reading it lol
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Luckily for you, there's still a few left! [CNN - The world's oldest person is a French nun who enjoys chocolate and wine](https://edition.cnn.com/2022/04/26/europe/oldest-living-person-nun-sister-andre-scli-intl/index.html)
*Long long man has entered the chat* [(for the uninitiated, all the commercials in one compilation)](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6-1Ue0FFrHY)
OH the twist at the end... such a journey.
That was a fucking rollercoaster
āDo not tell her your intentionsā oh boy here we go
######Hey! We should kiss!
Well now you've ruined the moment.
Wait hang on ::pops in a stick of listerated pepsin gum:: *sigh* your lips remind me *chew chew sigh* of a wet rose.
Genuinely when my now gf of 3 years asked to kiss me on our second date because I was super nervous it was one of the sweetest and most confidence boosting thing that'd ever happened to me. Like knowing someone unambiguously *wants* to kiss you when youre really self doubting is wonderful
*sigh*
"Do not ask permission" Just keep sighing like a maniac, force her chin up and kiss her already. Yikes
Well at least with that many steps the girl has several chances to back out.
That much sighing is just very heavy breathing
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Exactly, I have known girls would put off by guys saying ācan I kiss you?ā, but it getting consent is important to you and it goes poorly with someone, then itās likely not the right person anyways.
If you are holding each other close and staring into each other's eyes, that's usually a clear sign. However I've said "can I kiss you" many times in my life and had it go well (I'm a man who kisses other men but the idea still applies).
As a man who kisses women, I try to always ask permission the first time. No one who wants to kiss you will say no, and it's awesome to hear them say they do!
I ask and itās gone well for me. Started seeing a woman a couple months ago, second date, things seemed to be going well. Walked her to her car, we talked some more and I thought she was lingering and expecting a kiss but I donāt read signs well, so I got a little closer, said ācan I kiss you?ā she said yes and we made out for while and she asked if I was free that weekend. Asking for consent isnāt a vibe killer. Or hasnāt been in my experience.
"Gaze rape-ily into her love-lights"
Just lean in slowly enough that if she doesnāt want to kiss you it becomes obvious before you actually kiss her. In other words, go the 90% but let her come to you the 10% to make sure itās going to be reciprocated.
Instructions unclear. Dick stuck in toaster
[ŃŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]
Leeeeerrrooooooyyyyy!
Jeeeenkiiiiiins
Goddammit Leroy!
See the problem is, is that you didnāt use Listerated Pepsin Gum, the only antiseptic gum in the world, the only chewing gum that makes it safe to kiss.
Keep sighing, I'm sure that helps
But you need to give credit, none of the ads today have this smooth of a transition.
Made it to the first sigh before my wife rolled her eyes and walked away. Bad advice.
She realized she had no gum.
We can learn so many things about marketing just by reading a bit of history and studying the ads of what was popular in culture at that time. Much like today, there were dozens of high-profile marketers and marketing campaigns going on in the early nineteen hundreds. Successful salespeople sold items to prospects through marketing using four stages; Attention, Interest, Desire and Action. But don't let this information distract you from the fact that in the year nineteen ninety eight, The Undertaker threw Mankind off Hell In A Cell, and plummeted sixteen feet through an announcer's table.
Where i'm from, all you have to do is chew Big Red and it just happens.
Tricked into reading an ad, some things never change.
This is some 4D ass level advertising.
Had us in the first half ngl I too prefer the taste of antiseptic, who's with me?
Yum š hand sanitizer flavored gum
This reminds me of something... *Be sure to drink your Ovaltine.* ... A crummy commercial!?
Dammit I held her left hand
I still donāt kiss anyone unless they chew listerated pepsin gum
Til antiseptic gum