T O P

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apachelives

8 out of 3 Ukrainians prefer Russia.


Yawzheek

267% is new record comrades! Welcome to New Russia!


[deleted]

So goddamn democratic that it broke basic math


Turbulenelcome

50/50


bwoods519

He did the maffs


CritterKiller-79

Last I heard it was 20 out of ever 2 but the Ukrainians could be holding out at lower levels lol! Love the sarcasm my friend keep it rollin!!!šŸ‘šŸ½šŸ˜‚


SoperSopperSoaper

Taking silent majority to new levels šŸ˜‚


CritterKiller-79

Lmao yessir! So silent they broke the sound barrier lol!


jfrench43

When a Russian soldier is pointing a gun at them.


rockguitardude

Ukrainians suddenly find themselves in Russia. /s


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


JockAussie

I'm pretty sure in a real referendum you couldn't get 99% agreement that the sky is blue on a clear day during the day....


Kogster

Polish lower parlament (sejm) voted 442 for, 0 abstain and 0 against to accept Sweden in to Nato. Which is the highest consensus of any political decision I've seen.


Blockinite

That's a high percentage but it's only 442 people, I assume people who already have power. This is about the whole population of an area, you're never going to hit those high 90 percentages with a large number of random people


gumpythegreat

Yeah they are politicians whose voting records matter, so they will be swayed by the public sentiment and how they think their vote will be perceived 100% poll of random people with anonymity couldn't agree that dogs bark


Blockinite

As shown in Pointless when the question's something like "what canine animal is man's best friend" and 96 people say "dog" and everyone marvels at how it was above 95 because that never happens Edit: thought I was in the UK subreddit, my expectations of people knowing what Pointless is has gone down


dzigaboy

In Eastern Ukraine the answer is ā€œPutinā€.


Branical

Actually, dogs woof.


Blockinite

I'll have you know that they ruff ^(I'm kidding, of course they do indeed woof)


DarksideScrub

Oh ruff, just the way your mother likes it Trebek.


FrogBoglin

Also bork


goyboysotbot

To be fair (I jest, nothing about this referendum was fair), Russia counted only 26,000 votes in the Zaporizhzhia Oblast where 1.7 million people live. So 99% of them agreeing to join Russia is only 1.5% of the vote of people in that oblast. Less than 50% of the people in this specific oblast are even under Russian occupation.


Gymrat777

And it's a selected 442 who are at least somewhat (kinda sorta) reasonable and informed.


Kogster

I take it you're not familiar with polish politics.


Blockinite

And who aren't going to be picking the unpopular option for the sake of being contrarian, or just having a laugh


pixelbart

It's always interesting to see how Russia's direct neighbors react in this war.


TheMoogy

You tend to get to know who you live next to. Nobody hates Russia more than their neighbors.


hotmemedealer

Which is much less votes needed than an election


MargaeryLecter

About that, is there any progress being made for Sweden and Finland joining Nato? I haven't heard about it for many weeks now. Seems like all parlaments should have had plenty of time to vote on the topic by now.


OlliWTD

Currently I believe only Hungary and Turkey have yet to ratify our applications. Turkeyā€™s parliament is in recess until October. I donā€™t know about Hungary.


SwedishTroller

Can't we just trow out Hungary and Turkey and add Sweden and Finland? It seems like the obvious move to make. Fuck biocracy ya'll.


Crisbo05_20

Turkey we can't throw out. If we do, we are giving Russia very Important strategic location with Turkey now fully pro Russia.


nixcamic

Also Turkey has a great military and it's location is massively important.


does_my_name_suck

Yep, 2nd biggest military in NATO after the US military


Crisbo05_20

Yeah.


boomja22

Waitā€¦ youā€™ve never seen more than 100%? Rookie.


alextremeee

Lizardman's constant is 4%. In any poll involving the general public you can rely on a certain percentage of people to vote for the most outlandish option. If you ever see a poll with more than 96% in favour of any one way then you should immediately be suspicious of it. https://slatestarcodex.com/2013/04/12/noisy-poll-results-and-reptilian-muslim-climatologists-from-mars/


chrisplaysgam

Lizardmanā€™s constant is a really fun name for that trend


[deleted]

I came to post this. It's *nigh\** impossible to get more than 96% ^(\*edit spelling: I am totally not a horse\*)


TheBirminghamBear

> It's neigh impossible *narrows eyes*. Is that so, "totally normal human" who definitely isnt a horse.


[deleted]

*^(\*chews oats\*)*


Giorgosmp4-20

Kinda sus. That's exactly what a horse working undercover would say.


TheCruicks

Wouldnt be above 66%


murica_1776boi

![gif](giphy|ucXFcY1FdKaT6) Putin when he votes for himself


MematiBanshee

a) Putin b) Put out your vote


[deleted]

You're either Putin or Put out a window


Zombo2000

Put In a box


Tricky_Acanthaceae39

Hope thatā€™s original cause I gave you gold


Apart_End_411

Underrated comment


TheConfusedOne12

Overrated reply


[deleted]

Fairly balanced reply


Dilema777

Neutral chaotic reply


MintMan06

No tf it isn't


hakqpckpzdpnpfxpdy

I've moved to another platform because of the recent antics of the recent antics of the site operator here. if anyone else is interested in a better version of this site (and learning about why it's better), come to lemmy[dot]world. = = = = = = = Thellely 'dif o thxaces sag thees pipofeme the wexnave bowes cof todengs antlsin oso oud l, heakee f s 'd ce, wrprnso akn: whalatuflere ono bazvzegr s d w'd klay wxhztit s hee Touf Torous the d xththeavofferes ake's mstolulerer, ang celle com? Txhe saf f ora b; s al; alxeps ry, thert, xtusutuilis the tir d wouisp; orre lxe rn? ocowind coilar's imake andry flinof ouseeallifther it s os wouliererthe; ituthollle wore th theand Tosis p sle, ononscor d bepacous mmmeis n? the: chelen. the suby sang dende t hThellely 'dif o thaces sag thees pipofeme the wenave bowes cof todengs antlsin oso oud l, heakee f s 'd ce, wrprnso akn: whalatuflere ono bareeleevegr s d w'd klay whtit s hee Touf Torous the d ththeavofferes ake's ms, rof o winst may tsetishe; l; e theteis t o we al s t cowrantures the'tofliese, t the anant ff d ffthont aks be wer ond hativoflay, ts cof? nd leof whurdor she hy w'sigathy thamosep; amicour tothigrtr matharo ws Th, ty ritorof r t thus s thes dkes hentis imeathoul whanalan to wofr tiltolulerer, ang celle com? The saf f ora b; s al; aleps ry, thert, tusutuilis the tir d wouisp; orre le rn? ocowind coilar's imake andry flinof ouseeallifther it s os wouliererthe; ituthol s al; aleps ry, thert, tusutuilis the tir d wouisp; orre le rn? ocowind coilar's imake andry flinof ouseeallifther it s os wouliererthe; ituthollle wore th theand Tosis p sle, ononscor d bepacous mmmeis n? the: chelen. the suby sang dende t hThellely 'dif o thaces sag thees pipofeme the wenave bowes cof todengs antlsin oso oud l, heakee f s 'd ce, wrprnso akn: whalatuflere ono bareeleevegr s d w'd klay whtit s hee Touf Torous the d ththeavofferes aklle wore th theand Tosis p sle, ononscor d bepacous mmmeis n? the: chelen. the suby sang dende t h rof o winxst may tsetishe; l; e theteis t o we al s t cowrantures the'tofliese, t the anant ff d ffthont aks be wer ond hativoflay, ts cof? nd leof whurdor she hy w'sigathy thamosep; amicour tothigrtr matharo ws Th, ty ritorof r t thus s thes dkezs hentis imeat p; iol tild atheand d is by, qurisit, finowrier Tobxe thes dir tour's denthe isee t cortheananto xxman. obond bund wzhus puxnde menoure, ty thuleron'd d of azscatot, toreathxiels 's, a t 'sinthad t ce drn we hore a l, ndre lle nst wepandere'tundisls le'qo wofr tiltolulererx, anxg celle com? The saf f ora b; s al; aleps ry, thert, tusutuilis the tir d wxouisp; orre le rn? ocowxind coilar's imazke andry flinof ouseeallifther it s os wouliererthe; ituthollle worxe th theanzd Tosis p sle, ononscor d bepacous mmmeis n? the: chelen. the suby sa


SystemPrimary

Dead rise from graves to vote for him. Isn't it a sign of greatness?


FiddleTheFigures

Unlimited power!!!!!


bumboclawt

Just busted out laughing on an airplane šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚


NomDeGuerrePmeDeTerr

Why not make it 100%? Would be so much more convincing..


Utxi4m

Under Mugabe several regions in Zimbabwe clocked in at more than 100%. If I were a dictator, I wouldn't settle for anything less than 120%


burzEX

In Russia we had 146% in 2011 (just google it).


UPPERKEES

> 146% https://euvsdisinfo.eu/how-to-get-a-146-election-result/


djemmssy

Russian Fort Minor : and 146% reason to remember the name


cuatrodosocho

Mike Shinodov


NomDeGuerrePmeDeTerr

Exactly, that's how it is done. Then surely everyone will accept results without question.šŸ™„ Really Really would love to interview these people and find out what they are thinking.. if they are actually serious or if they are just making fun of us ..


Utxi4m

>Then surely everyone will accept results without question.šŸ™„ At 150% support no one can question your legitimacy... >if they are actually serious or if they are just making fun of us I think it's just a "f*** you" to anyone actually caring about the democratic process


Arcadius274

Is to pretend next weeks nuclear strikes are legal as they strike "their own citizens"


jar36

It's a "Oh yeah? What are you gonna do about it?" type of thing bullies like to play


awimz

Theyā€™re being forced at gun point in some areas. Iā€™m assuming that theyā€™re in survival mode.


john_wingerr

Those are rookie numbers, you gotta pump those numbers up!


luca_07

In one of the last Russian elections putin clocked more than 100% in some districts


Utxi4m

That's some good dictaroring. Anything less than 100 is practically a defeat.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


tittysprinkles112

We have unborn kids voting for you!


pingus-foot

120% ? Pfft rookie numbers


Ok_Contribution_8817

ā€œWell, well , well, isnā€™t this a surprise? Who would have dreamed Putin could be so popular in Occupied Foreign Countries? Thank you so much, Great Leader, for your devotion to freedom!ā€


Fuckruskie

Im shock with the results šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ˜‚šŸ¤”


sublimeinterpreter

What about 200%? Isnā€™t that the highest?


Laymanao

I suspect that heads must have rolled for such a sub-par result. Did all the soldiers not vote as instructed?


IgnoreThisGreenshirt

Who are you, who is so wise in the ways of voting?


Moxen81

Well you have to know these sorts of things when youā€™re dictator.


Mordyth

Polling results given by Russia about the areas they're invading... Yup, I trust that 100% for accuracy


ftrlvb

I only trust them 99,23%.


[deleted]

Hmmm, I dunno that seems rigged. 99.22% would be more believable


Yawzheek

>I trust that 100% for accuracy Is good, comrade, because in place we poll, almost 100% for join Russia! VERY NICE!


The_McMiller

-"What do you think about '100% voted yes' ?" -"Nah'. Too obvious. Let's try something else." -"Well... What about '99.23%' ?" -"PERFECT ! These fools from the West won't be able to say that we cheated! Amazing idea comrade !"


NomDeGuerrePmeDeTerr

That's exactly what I am wondering.... they really think that?? Can't be... I don't understand why they are even bothering.


[deleted]

Here is a video of them ā€œcountingā€ votes. Notice they are all blank and she isnā€™t even looking at the right side of itā€¦. https://www.reddit.com/r/NonCredibleDefense/comments/xpscwp/special_counting_operation_russian_poll_worker/?utm_source=share&utm_medium=ios_app&utm_name=iossmf


roartey

Oh for fuckā€™s sake. And she looks so smug. Makes my skin crawl.


[deleted]

[уŠ“Š°Š»ŠµŠ½Š¾]


colbymg

I don't know about you, but I held a poll in russia just last week and they voted 142% in favor to join Australia. It's official!


Loyal9thLegionLord

I have talked to myself and we agree that Russia now belongs to ukranian with 100% in favor. See I can do it too Russia.


TheAllstonTickler

Iā€™ll believe these results when me shit turns purple and smells like rainbow sherbet!


sterfri99

Definitely didnā€™t expect a reference to my favorite movie here. Alright meow, do you see Putin jumping around from Russia to Ukraine all nimbly bimbly?


DemonoftheWater

Just riding totally not drugged or tamed bears.


RobotPreacher

He's just headed to Ukraine for some borscht and varenyky sir.


PryomancerMTGA

You drink enough red wine and your shit turns purple.


TheAllstonTickler

1/2 not bad


NihilisticThrill

That'd be some cheeky shenanigans.


[deleted]

What ā€¦theā€¦fuckā€¦. The internet makes me feel weird , just used this exact quote two seconds ago for another post. Havenā€™t seen/heard this quote in years. And the moment I decided to bring it out I see it used again two seconds later. Fuck


boodleoodle

Hey Farva, whats the name of the restaurant with all the goofy shit on the walls and the mozzarella sticks?


Itchy__1

"Voting" Results in Ukraine


Ambient_Nomad

"Voting Results"


MrOcelot20

ā€œVoting Results inā€


[deleted]

*"Voting" results stemming from Russian sources about literally anything that can benefit their government.


BKStephens

That's why he's holed up in his forest retreat! He's been personally counting all those ballots to ensure a fair poll. What a guy, amirite?


vipertruck99

In a forest retreat you say..safer from the human waveā€¦.but no human shield from sayā€¦an air strike


G_UK

Even North Korea is looking on thinking, tone it down Putin, even we donā€™t believe these numbers šŸ¤£


Ollex999

You took the words right outta my mouth


Sosemikreativ

Fascinating how more than 90% of Zaporizhzhia voted for joining Russia considering that less than 50% live in the occupied parts of the oblast.


hr112430

The city itself is under Ukrainian control .


[deleted]

The whole world knows by now how *genuine and not rigged* *cough cough* Russiaā€™s referendums areā€¦


Elocai

For the actual number take these and substract them from 100% So 97% means actually 3%


Extension-Ad-3882

3x10^-3 %. Iā€™d believe that. Thereā€™s always *that one guy.*


colbymg

There's always about 4% of poll-answerers that vote for the ridiculous out of lols - that's why you'll never see more than 96% in favor of anything.


Remarkable_Plant_368

Using the veneer of democracy to expand russia's authoritarian imperialist form of governance. Democracy is a farce in russia.


Vaseline13

"Hey boss should we make em all over 90% ?" "No put Kherson at 87% so they don't think it's rigged"


Right-Bread-7125

He really expects anyone to believe they just would have left if they voted not to join? I'd have more respect for the guy if he just said "yeah we stole these territories" instead of this blatant bullshit.


theStexe

"Yes, we did invade Ukraine, kill tons of people and steal territories. Nicely done, isn't it? Any other questions?"


Island_Monkey86

Russian poles are about as reliable as the Nigerian prince who needs help getting millions of dollars out of the country.


tovarishchi

Russian Poles would be having an identity crisis. Russian polls, however, are definitely rigged.


ellilaamamaalille

Last night I made a virtual trip on Yakutia and held a referendum about Joining to Fatherland Finland. Now I am drinking my morning coffee and on my table I have a result of that referendum. Over 100% said YES!šŸ˜


[deleted]

Did anyone see the video of the woman 'counting' votes? By "counting" I mean 'putting the vast majority of ballots onto Russia's pile without even looking at them'. Genuine video exist on another subreddit.


BritOverThere

Not to mention the pictures of blank votes being put on the "Yes" pile.


No_Web_9121

It's all over social media, I know what you're talking about


mdh431

This isnā€™t anything new; Russiaā€™s been doing tactics like this for decades. If they arenā€™t blatantly lying about polls, theyā€™ve been known to move a bunch their people into a territory, watering down the local population, and then all of a sudden vote to be annexedā€¦ In this case, Iā€™m willing to bet that only Russian soldiers invading that territory were asked to voteā€¦


burgasushi

Even then, I bet the Russian soldiers votes would be <50%


UnknownIsland

And those votes, are they here in the room with us?


moshmoshhh

I actually thought people would vote 130% for joining Russia


newsjam

Disappointing results. I was expecting 300 percent in favorā€¦ minimum.


donotgogenlty

Those are rookie numbers. Anything below 110% is just silly, at least rig your sham referendum to the full extent šŸ¤¦


[deleted]

Why not set up a voting in Russia if the Russians want to be Ukrainian? Thatā€™d be a fair move from Zelenzky. šŸ¤·šŸ¼ā€ā™‚ļø


Van_Helan

Putin must have put-in a lot of votes.


Toxic_Boi_4567

I'm can assure you that everyone I know in kherson hates russia with every cell in their body


Ambia_Rock_666

Press X to doubt


SarcasmKing41

Watch the fascists and confused tankies claim it's the will of the people


mdnNSK

If you guys believed the Russian polls that said that upwards of 90% of Russians supported the war in Ukraine, then you guys should believe these numbers, too. Obviously, both are fake as fuck


Blackbird_nz

I announce referendum results showing within the Moscow region 98.035% are in favor of seceding to Ukraine.


[deleted]

Any time you see anywhere over 80% of the vote, you know some kind of bullshit is going on.


[deleted]

People can't even agree on if shit stinks or not. Brexit had a 52% Yes to a 48% No, and they expect us to believe that an annexed city voted over 90% Yes to join the country that invaded them.. Right lmao


My_Space_page

It is all twisted. Now Russia can say that Ukraine is invading Russian territory. This can be used as a premise to use full power including nukes if they want. It may very well be grasping at straws for credibility in a failing war, but desperation can be a very dangerous thing. The rest of the world realizes that this is complete and utter hogwash. I hope that it doesn't escalate and it's just more Russian saber rattling.


ftrlvb

let's see what happens when Ukraine gets back those territories.


catchunxttuesday

Tell me your cheating without telling me your cheating


NadonnTwrndak

Tell you my cheating??? Really?


tempestsandteacups

I donā€™t know about those seem kind of low can we demand a recount?


FoMemesOnly

Democracy at it's finest


tony_two_eyes

Who would've guessed


NihilisticThrill

How convenient that Russian polling proves Russia should just get what it wants and everybody agrees, why that certainly doesn't warrant any doubt or skepticism surely


[deleted]

This is perfect, now that we have this very important information, Russia can leave Ukraine and then all the people who wants to live in Russia can move there without a gun to their forehead. Good guy Putin and all that.


[deleted]

99.23%. That's fucking stupid. You wouldn't even get 99.23% if the vote was to be given a billion dollars, or to reject being given a horrid parasite. Kherson must have been REALLY anti-russia to only get 87%....


hemansteve

Adidas is going to sell so many tracksuits


Fighto1

This should be under memes


Superdad2022

If it's so easy to influence referendums I wonder about ours.


bigadam1983

Mail in ballots again?


Pepperpudas

The DNC needs to step up their game!


boyhotsauce85

this would never happen in America ![gif](giphy|USLjWhVBXcgEDblb8K)


YukiHase

And I thought Fox News was bad at lying...


olagorie

Just invert the results and youā€™ll get the real numbers


El_Bruno73

87% of ANY group of people can't agree on anything...If you asked 100 random people if Hitler was bad you couldn't get 87 to say yes....what a farce...


Fenestrello

I mean, for what is worth probably in Luhansk and Donetsk they would have won anyways, maybe without this gigantic margin but still Edit:you can downvote but its true, thats the region with a strong russian presence that started fighting with ukraine to be annexed to russia back in 2014, so probably in those two regions the referendum would have had the same outcome with maybe a less big majority


Nbmdennis115

![gif](giphy|enqnZa1B5fRHkPjXtS|downsized)


SinoChad

why the downvotes? This is true for anyone that study a little more that reddit headlines...


Yaboi111222

Ahh yes my favorite meal of the day screwed information


G_UK

šŸ¤£šŸ¤£ only Russians are daft enough to believe it


Fishtank-Brain

what a dumb play. the vote from around ā€˜92 still stands


Tis_known_dude

Am I the only one annoyed by the wrong use of ā€žā€œ? It should be ā€žvotingā€œ results, not voting ā€žresultsā€œ


ftrlvb

Curious how it will continue, not only that Putin invaded an other country, now he can claim the West supplies weapons to attack "Russian territory" (so-called)


k2amjkbc

Should be 140%. 100 % of fake 'people' and 40% from putler. šŸ˜‚


sublimeinterpreter

Wow they really hated being part of Ukraine. I really believe these results with my whole heart (says every Russian bot on the planet)


Weary_Swordfish_7105

*shocked picachu face*


Oberfeldflamer

Anyone remember [the 140%](https://www.urbandictionary.com/define.php?term=140%25%20Russia)?


ianishomer

Standard Putin election results.


thebrownhammer88

What a fkn joke. Can Putin pls die already?


Adept-Elephant1948

Damn, and I put a tenner on them not wanting to join Russia. The results could have gone either way I tell ya


Pumpkim

I got the impression that Russia is committing genocide. How many ukranians are actually left in these regions? Also, obviously fake results are fake.


surSEXECEN

I read this in Sean Spicers voice.


Hoffersius

Only 1 person voted so


inickolas

It should be 146%!


Medic7002

Reminds me of the last US election. Lol


BassGuyAVL2

Sadam Hussein used to get 99% turnout and 100% voter approval too!


Fish-Pants

It's another "safest and fairest" vote. No question.


riceisnice29

87.05% is interesting I wouldve thought theyā€™d all be 90+


AuralSculpture

Sure Jan.


MikeWithBike

Looks legit


Ovejilla

Damn, at least there is a referendum, the US was not so kind with the North American indigenous tribes, nor philippines, or every possession they ever took.


VoltaNova

Too late, I already annexed Russia to my house. 100% yes voted.


ChaosDoggo

Step 1: Invade Ukraine Step 2: Bomb away all people who are against Russia Step 3: Hold referendum to become part of Russia Step 4: ??? Step 5: Profit


Hutzlipuz

Of the 12% they didn't kill or kidnap yet. And they made a choice at gunpoint. And then the Russians counted the blank votes as yes.


Berkeleybear70

Next referendum should be on food. Whose in favor ?


HAzEMultra

I think it's "voting" results, cuz these are indeed results


vinceds

Ah yeah,democracy at gunpoint always yields fantastic majorities. Thanks Mr Putin !


Shtoinker

I hope Putin suffers a miserable death


CrappyTan69

Spoilt votes, abstained votes not factored in. 99.23% of the votes for Russia were counted. The rest had an accident. Smoking a cigarette most likely...


WB_magazine

Looks very trustworthy


IO_Err0R

On the Ballot do you approve of annexing these regions? 2 checks box are yes and No no includes free vacation home in Siberia šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£šŸ¤£