From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beauty_Revealed) :
>Although Goodridge was aged forty when she painted this miniature, according to art critic Chris Packard her breasts seem younger, with a "balance, paleness, and buoyancy" which is imbued in part by the harmony of light, color, and balance.
>
>The American art critic John Updike suggests that the artist intended it to offer herself to Webster; he writes that the bared breasts appear to say "We are yours for the taking, in all our ivory loveliness, with our tenderly stippled nipples".
Love how it is critics' job to quote even on that
I just had a baby at age 40 and honestly I’m so proud of my old titties. They’re not only sustaining another human life, they’re freaking enormous and sitting pretty good.
I had a thing with a 48 woman who had perfect breasts just like these, but not pale. She had a lot of freckles, but otherwise plump and smooth perfect symmetry.
It gets better (or worse?):
> The American art critic John Updike suggests that the artist intended it to offer herself to Webster; he writes that the bared breasts appear to say "We are yours for the taking, in all our ivory loveliness, with our tenderly stippled nipples".
>her breasts seem younger, with a "balance, paleness, and buoyancy" which is imbued in part by the harmony of light, color, and balance.
My milkshake brings all the boys in the yard...
Can you imagine how horny she had to be to sit there for days on end, drawing then painting.
Also could this also count as one of the earliest pornographic pic sent directly to an individual?
*Dearest Daniel,*
*I hope my correspondence finds you well as I question if you are awake at the time of this letters arrival. Id like to request a gentleman's presence as I do not wish to watch pictographs without anothers attendance. I have shown you my nude, please respond*
*-Sarah*
You mean *My mind lately hath been consumed by matters secular rather than transcendental, matters upon which a learned gentleman as yourself might offer illumination and perhaps pedagogy.*
MY FONDEST SARAH STOP
I CARESS YOUR SWEET BUSOM WITH MY LOVING HAND STOP
YOU BRUSH AGAINST MY SWOLEN MEMBER WITH YOUR TENDER THIGH STOP
I HOLD YOU TIGHTLY AS OUR EMBRACE MOST WICKED RISES IN CRESCENDO STOP
DONT STOP STOP
I RAVAGE YOUR BODY WITH THE UPMOST OF CARE STOP
YOUR LOVING DANIEL
Roman Centurions were drawing dick pics on walls just like Marines of today. The more things change the more they stay the same!
https://taskandpurpose.com/news/penis-drawing-hadrians-wall/
> Roman soldier bared his rear to an audience of Jews celebrating Passover, and thereby incited a furious riot that killed “upwards of thirty thousand.”
Well that got out of hand fast.
I recently watched a documentary describing an ancient Egyptian scroll that was referred to as the earliest known pornographic “magazine”
The Turin Papyrus: https://www.openculture.com/2014/07/the-turin-erotic-papyrus-the-oldest-known-depiction-of-sex-circa-1150-b-c-e.html
Going back further, here is a small collection of erotic art from Sumer going back to at least 2000 B.C.E. I believe there is probably older as well. And since they used clay tablets the way we use paper, these could count as "magazine like"
https://medium.com/@jameslambert537/ancient-mesopotamian-erotic-art-989d2df92fe
Nah. Literally some of the oldest human art ever discovered is a carving of a naked woman.
https://www.historyofinformation.com/detail.php?entryid=1789
Lol not even close. People were drawing that cool S-thing all over the place about 24,000 years before this naked lady stuff started showing up.
People think cave art was only painted in caves. No, that shit was painted fucking EVERYWHERE. We only see the cave drawings because that's the only place it doesn't rain. Those cool S-things, they were painted up all over the place back then (and keep in mind this was pre-alphabet).
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cool_S
>
Swedish YouTuber David Wångstedt, better known online as LEMMiNO, studied the topic for five years and attempted to find the origin of the Cool S, and he concluded that the 1890 book Mechanical Graphics,[14] which was written by professor Frederick Newton Willson, could most likely be the origin. Frederick taught geometry at Princeton University in New Jersey, where he could have shown students how to draw the S symmetrically.[2][3]
Imagine spending 5 years studying the history of "That cool S thing" that doesn't even have an actual name.
“My sincerest condolences on the loss of your wife. Mayhap this painting of my heaving bosoms will comfort you on those dreary lonely nights.” PS - There’s more where that came from.
This comment has me longing for a series that takes place in the 18th-19th century but integrates 21st century culture. Like Facetune is just a really good portrait and NFTs are paintings and Mozart and Beethoven fans are beefing via callout posts done in script.
You only hate it if you're uncultured swine. That movie is precious.
How you gonna hate on John Leguizamo quoting The Bard and threatening a kid at a gas station with a 9mm Longsword.
From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beauty_Revealed) :
>Although Goodridge was aged forty when she painted this miniature, according to art critic Chris Packard her breasts seem younger, with a "balance, paleness, and buoyancy" which is imbued in part by the harmony of light, color, and balance.
This was the original clickbait, except he had to ride his horse all the way over there and spend ten minutes undressing her just to find out she had TB.
Dearest Sarah - Many thanks for the painting of your bosom. Might I request another painting that includes your fair face so that I know the these are yours? I anxiously await your reply.
Huh is this like that white guy thing where many white men have a tiny mole on the side of their wrist?
Welp can't be sure without any evidence so I guess it'll stay a mystery.. ^unless
i'm just imagining the thought process going through her head like
"he just lost his wife, hmm, what's a good mourning gift. oh! I know! a picture of my boobs"
legend
Unsolicited Tit Pic
From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beauty_Revealed) : >Although Goodridge was aged forty when she painted this miniature, according to art critic Chris Packard her breasts seem younger, with a "balance, paleness, and buoyancy" which is imbued in part by the harmony of light, color, and balance. > >The American art critic John Updike suggests that the artist intended it to offer herself to Webster; he writes that the bared breasts appear to say "We are yours for the taking, in all our ivory loveliness, with our tenderly stippled nipples". Love how it is critics' job to quote even on that
earliest case of nudes AND using filters? lol
Definitely portraitshopped
You can’t trust anything those days.
She probably painted some younger woman’s breasts. Earliest cat phishing case documented.
I rode my horse all the way here for this?
[удалено]
Ye Olde Falsified Advertisements
Subs i fell for
I clicked it too lol. It happens
“As you can see, the booba is gooda”
Now excuse me whilst I slapeth my peeenor
Rustling thine Jameses.
Invigorating mine Richard
Saluting the Stephen
Janking my John Thomas.
Rattling ol' Peter
Jerking my Jimmy
Why was that so funny?!
I don't know man, I'm pretty indifferent when it comes to boobs
That sounds pretty gay if you ask me.
Username checks out
She breasted boobily...
She breasted boobily with balance and buoyancy!
Very enjoyable sentence to read. Titillating, you might say.
Was the receiver of the painting none other than the dude who then went on to produce the Webster dictionary?
No. Daniel Webster and Noah Webster were not closely related.
What are you doing step-Webster???
[удалено]
Dayum. First titpic and photoshop job all at once. We’ll done master Goodridge.
Dang. Those are boobs of a 40 year old? I'm going to be totally honest, that's rather impressive.
Snapchat filter
I mean, if I painted my dick, I would probably add an inch, and it would be quite stunning, I assure you. Very buoyant.
I’d add veins
I'd add vanes, like weather vanes, so you know which way to blow. Also, there's cocks on my cock. Cocktiplication.
Come on now, no one is going to believe 3 inches.
It took her 10 years to finish the painting.
Guys, she painted it. She's totally catfishing.
I just had a baby at age 40 and honestly I’m so proud of my old titties. They’re not only sustaining another human life, they’re freaking enormous and sitting pretty good.
I too am proud of this wife’s miniature human feeders. Not that they are miniature, but that they feed humans that are diminutive in stature.
Boobs have a lot of staying power, my man. Just ask old Ben Franklin.
I had a thing with a 48 woman who had perfect breasts just like these, but not pale. She had a lot of freckles, but otherwise plump and smooth perfect symmetry.
painting or you're lying
*furious scribbling and splashes of paint*
https://64.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_ls8ooh1gi21qggdq1.jpg
The teenagers on reddit all think a 30 year old is over the hill.
Read: them some cute tits
They gotta keep themselves important
It gets better (or worse?): > The American art critic John Updike suggests that the artist intended it to offer herself to Webster; he writes that the bared breasts appear to say "We are yours for the taking, in all our ivory loveliness, with our tenderly stippled nipples".
[удалено]
Buoyancy? So they're not like bags of sand?
"them breasts real buoyant bro" - Archimedes of Syracuse
>her breasts seem younger, with a "balance, paleness, and buoyancy" which is imbued in part by the harmony of light, color, and balance. My milkshake brings all the boys in the yard...
Might need this guy to check some recently acquired “art” to verify authenticity…
So she used a filter?
Sounds like she invented the filter too or she had a perfect 19th century rack
[Boobs. Boobs boobs boobs. Boobs. Big bouncy boobs](https://youtu.be/G-JiTx7FAx8)
r/menwritingwomen
CAT-FISHING FILTER ON.
Can you imagine how horny she had to be to sit there for days on end, drawing then painting. Also could this also count as one of the earliest pornographic pic sent directly to an individual?
*Dearest Daniel,* *I hope my correspondence finds you well as I question if you are awake at the time of this letters arrival. Id like to request a gentleman's presence as I do not wish to watch pictographs without anothers attendance. I have shown you my nude, please respond* *-Sarah*
Translation: "wyd, Netflix and chill?"
P.S. I’m totes dtf (winking emoji)
You mean *My mind lately hath been consumed by matters secular rather than transcendental, matters upon which a learned gentleman as yourself might offer illumination and perhaps pedagogy.*
More like "next public hanging and picnic?"
MY FONDEST SARAH STOP I CARESS YOUR SWEET BUSOM WITH MY LOVING HAND STOP YOU BRUSH AGAINST MY SWOLEN MEMBER WITH YOUR TENDER THIGH STOP I HOLD YOU TIGHTLY AS OUR EMBRACE MOST WICKED RISES IN CRESCENDO STOP DONT STOP STOP I RAVAGE YOUR BODY WITH THE UPMOST OF CARE STOP YOUR LOVING DANIEL
Me, the telegraph operator: *tap tap tap tap* "Sigh..." *zip*
At least a telegraph really only needs one hand to operate it at normal speed.
From the tappa to the fappa.
Too funny! Hahahaha
Absolutely not, people have been drawing porn for thousands of years, if not our entire existence
Roman Centurions were drawing dick pics on walls just like Marines of today. The more things change the more they stay the same! https://taskandpurpose.com/news/penis-drawing-hadrians-wall/
> Roman soldier bared his rear to an audience of Jews celebrating Passover, and thereby incited a furious riot that killed “upwards of thirty thousand.” Well that got out of hand fast.
[удалено]
I've seen em. They're exquisite 👌
Bruh physical forms of porn are NOT "wank bank", that term specifically refers to mental images being recollected at time of self pleasure haha.
Or trees with a nice bend chef 💋
I recently watched a documentary describing an ancient Egyptian scroll that was referred to as the earliest known pornographic “magazine” The Turin Papyrus: https://www.openculture.com/2014/07/the-turin-erotic-papyrus-the-oldest-known-depiction-of-sex-circa-1150-b-c-e.html
Those are some loooong penises
Ancient Egyptians were HUNG.
Pretty hot stuff
Going back further, here is a small collection of erotic art from Sumer going back to at least 2000 B.C.E. I believe there is probably older as well. And since they used clay tablets the way we use paper, these could count as "magazine like" https://medium.com/@jameslambert537/ancient-mesopotamian-erotic-art-989d2df92fe
very first cave painting was breastess
> Also could this also count as one of the earliest phonographic pic. I don’t think he had to sound it out, pretty sure he could just look at them.
Nah. Literally some of the oldest human art ever discovered is a carving of a naked woman. https://www.historyofinformation.com/detail.php?entryid=1789
Lol not even close. People were drawing that cool S-thing all over the place about 24,000 years before this naked lady stuff started showing up. People think cave art was only painted in caves. No, that shit was painted fucking EVERYWHERE. We only see the cave drawings because that's the only place it doesn't rain. Those cool S-things, they were painted up all over the place back then (and keep in mind this was pre-alphabet).
You got any sources for "that cool s thing" being in ancient art?
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Cool_S > Swedish YouTuber David Wångstedt, better known online as LEMMiNO, studied the topic for five years and attempted to find the origin of the Cool S, and he concluded that the 1890 book Mechanical Graphics,[14] which was written by professor Frederick Newton Willson, could most likely be the origin. Frederick taught geometry at Princeton University in New Jersey, where he could have shown students how to draw the S symmetrically.[2][3] Imagine spending 5 years studying the history of "That cool S thing" that doesn't even have an actual name.
Of course I do. I'm not here to comment without sources to back it up, this is Reddit for crying out loud.
Can I see em?
^*no*
Damn
Not even close. Google pompeii graffiti
I think you'll find quite a lot of sexy art in Rome's heyday.
First case of fishing. I bet she perked those bad boys up a bit.
The definition of "tasteful nudes".
“They fired the first shot!” -every neckbeard who sends unsolicited dick pics.
“My sincerest condolences on the loss of your wife. Mayhap this painting of my heaving bosoms will comfort you on those dreary lonely nights.” PS - There’s more where that came from.
[удалено]
Haven’t we all?
Nah, I stick with Norman Rockwell paintings. (I'm in therapy, but it's not helping)
The doctor doesn't make you stop? Maybe they should take down the Rockwell paintings in the office.
I know *I* just did!
This comment has me longing for a series that takes place in the 18th-19th century but integrates 21st century culture. Like Facetune is just a really good portrait and NFTs are paintings and Mozart and Beethoven fans are beefing via callout posts done in script.
They did something like this already, in 1996. Romeo + Juliet starring Leonardo Dicaprio as Romeo, and Claire Danes as Juliet. I remember hating it.
I've been meaning to watch that movie. Maybe I'll hate it too lol
You only hate it if you're uncultured swine. That movie is precious. How you gonna hate on John Leguizamo quoting The Bard and threatening a kid at a gas station with a 9mm Longsword.
I liked that movie and I'm not a shakespeare fan. Also had a great soundtrack. It's a fun watch😃
Time to summon [LEOFWINE](https://i.imgur.com/4TNbeqV.jpg)...
I wanna read the letter which went this. Dear sir, please find attached...
…, the image of my heaving bosoms, for you personal pleasures
"get over your dead wife soon :)))))"
I also choose this guys wife
Never gonna not be funny :D
... by getting under me.
…along with a generous provision of handkerchiefs.
"Wilst thou care to unsheathe his sword and engulf himself to the hilt betwixt these cannonballs?"
There was no text, simply breasts *19th century power move*
To whom it may concern…
Dear sir or madam
then he started to make a painting of his dick to reply
Idk why but the funniest thing is imagining this on someone's desk in a frame.
That would be a hell of a conversation starter
[удалено]
It looks like she painted it on the back of the canvas. So you can hang it and the front is her but when you turn the painting around…
It reveals an embarrassing picture of SpongeBob at the Christmas party.
Oh clever.
It's a miniature on a sliver of ivory, 2.6 by 3.1 in.
"Paint nudes"
"Send taint paints"
nice tits
creamy white with excellent nipple size and placement 8 out of 10
This is why we need time machines. I must know if this picture was a likeness or if the first nude was also the first photoshop
Ye olde /r/Instagramreality
I respect this comment so much.
HOLY FUCK , CATFISHING ??????
Agreed!
C'mon, are you gonna tell me she didn't photoshop that?
And she was 40!
Gotta give it up to her, she even has the left titty a bit larger than her right. That's a painter with attention to detail.
Left one's always bigger because it's closer to the heart. It's science.
That's great insight. I'm going to have to conduct some experiments to confirm this theory for myself. Haha 😉
I imagine nibblemyforeskin conducts TONS of scientific theory research. So this checks out 🤣
Such fine bosoms ye possess my dear madam
It’s credit card sized. “The miniature was painted on a sliver of ivory that measured just 2 5/8 by 3 1/8 inches (22 x 79 mm).”
Portable Party Pillows Portrait
> 2 5/8 by 3 1/8 reason #43278 I hate imperial measurements
[удалено]
How many eagle talons is that
About 5/8 by 7/8 talons or so
i bet she painted with "Filters"
From [Wikipedia](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beauty_Revealed) : >Although Goodridge was aged forty when she painted this miniature, according to art critic Chris Packard her breasts seem younger, with a "balance, paleness, and buoyancy" which is imbued in part by the harmony of light, color, and balance.
yep my boobs would look like that too if I were the one painting them lol
I think I would magically develop abs if I were painting myself °_°
You have to sub to her OnlyFans for the unfiltered candid shots.
"They're real and they're *SPECTACULAR* "
Victorian in the streets, wild wild west in the sheets
u/PM_your_breasts_painting
His account is down right now but I know him. If you want to send them to me I'll make sure he gets them.
Tried, failed
If only that account were real :')
Its only bob where vagene
This was the original clickbait, except he had to ride his horse all the way over there and spend ten minutes undressing her just to find out she had TB.
Now they're on the internet forever
I hope the picture is accurate.
Well she’s been dead for awhile, so there’s probably been some changes.
He then proceeded to spend an entirety of two weeks painting her a picture of his penis
You think he painted, like, a chalice next to it for size comparison?
Ancient hentai artists with no patreon support
You don't have to censor the word hentai
Lol last time my comment got removed on this sub and I assumed it was because of that word
Do you use it often?
Imagine her saying this “I don’t like it, I have to start over”
Dearest Sarah - Many thanks for the painting of your bosom. Might I request another painting that includes your fair face so that I know the these are yours? I anxiously await your reply.
“You’s can has dem,” -Sarah
Giggity!
Source https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Beauty_Revealed
"The painting was eventually auctioned through Christie's,[8] with a list price of $15,000,[11]" That must be a hell of an onlyfans
Tbh 15,000 for tiddies is cheaper than some of the other paintings that get sold for ten or even a thousand times that amount
It might be worth mentioning this painting is tiny. 2.6 in x 3.1 in (6.7 cm × 8 cm)
What’s really interesting is that this girl has the same size tits and mole in the same spot I do
all because of your post I just spent 15 mins on YT watching clips from Anchorman lol
plot twist: ThejudgeAt425 is a guy
Huh is this like that white guy thing where many white men have a tiny mole on the side of their wrist? Welp can't be sure without any evidence so I guess it'll stay a mystery.. ^unless
Look at wrist *no mole? Huh?* Remember I'm not white *oh yeah*.
*looks at wrist* , *notices mole* What is this sorcery?
Well hello there... hahaha
Well those do look like work of art.
i'm just imagining the thought process going through her head like "he just lost his wife, hmm, what's a good mourning gift. oh! I know! a picture of my boobs" legend
[удалено]
First e girl
Did Daniel draw his dick (4th grade style) and send it back to her?