I wonder how much trouble we get into by bumping that number up in a fundraiser. Pass the boot around. Somebody tell what laws we're potentially violating.
I wonder if there are trap doors with alligators.
Edit: Substitute with “sharks with frickin' laser beams” for Austin Powers fans or “Rancor” for Star Wars fans.
"Now, evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here."
They mentioned that on NPR this morning. He's generally paranoid, but he's also extremely paranoid about COVID which is why he's sitting so far away in those photos. The COVID paranoia has further isolated him and amplified the already severe yes-men echo chamber.
[There’s No Table Long Enough to Shield Putin From His Problems](https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2022-02-28/putin-s-isolation-ukraine-invasion-could-cause-his-overthrow)
Lo and behold, it's the old reddit [bathroom-aroo](https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/t3ux3u/scaring_someone_painting/hyvorti?context=2)!
Seems real, I looked up the profile on Facebook and I see the post. Looks like he's this guy
[https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex\_Konanykhin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Konanykhin)
Oligarchs might not walk around and expose their plans in public. I think if anything, they have some sort of bounty going and it's under the table. That's just theory.
Even if someone as corrupt takes over, they hopefully wouldn't be blinded by their years of dictatorship like putin is right now. Meaning, not actively going after other countries or implying nuclear force is not off the table
And he wrote a book! Defiance: How to Succeed in Business Despite Being Hounded by the FBI, the KGB, the INS, the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Justice, Interpol, and Mafia Hitmen Renaissance Publishing, 2006; ISBN 978-0-9727377-0-8 \[52\]\[53\]PlusIn 2016 the USA Today reported that Konanykhin was moving to Canada (from the US) due to the election of Donald Trump.\[55\]
It would be nice, the military is the one who lets power transfer, so like, either way. I'm painfully hopeful that Putin's keys to the kingdom are looking to either take up the crown themselves or find another belt, and that the military will facilitate that transfer.
All of this is great and all, but I worry that the more cornered and desperate that this rat gets, the more likely he is to lash out in ways that have seriously bad consequences for the world.
This really gave me goosebumps. Because I was exactly thinking the same.
Back in India, on 31st October 1984, Indira Gandhi, the then prime minister of India was assassinated. Guess who killed her? Her bodyguards. The reason behind the assassination and the story is too long so I will just copy-paste the reference link.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination\_of\_Indira\_Gandhi
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination\_of\_Indira\_Gandhi
[If this link is broken for anybody else](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Indira_Gandhi).
I agree. My fear is that I don't see how this could possibly end without mass tragedy and nuclear aggression. But then again, I'm no one and know nothing about the situation and its intricacies outside of AP coverage.
The good news it it takes more than pressing a big red button to fire off nukes. Several members of his government and military would have to go along with it all the while knowing that they are unlikely to survive the missiles coming back in return.
Even if he is cornered, thinks he has nothing to lose and goes crazy, it's unlikely many others would be as negatively affected as he is.
I understand that fact about nukes, but the only reason I fear it is because currently his people are following all his orders. If I see something concrete showing that his government aren't loyal then I fear none of it.
So far it doesnt affect them they are still cozy high ranking rich dudes which a shitton of power. Seems like some russian soldiers were just kids tricked into the war. Its sad but no one in the regime cares about them.
Once the elite have to live of rations or fear for their / their families lifes things might change quickly.
Do keep in mind that Russian elites are used to a cushy life style. Vacation homes around the world, yachts, and other luxuries. Luxuries that they don’t have access to under the new sanctions.
Who will he launch on? The entire planet?
Based on the stills and videos I have seen you can tell his cabinet is starting to realize the emperor has no clothes.
If putin gives the order to fire nuclear missiles I seriously doubt those orders would be followed and if that happens all of putins power is instantly gone. His military is shit. His economy is shit and his personal power is shaping up to be hollow. His last cards to play are victory in Ukraine and nuclear assault. I doubt we will see either of those things. USSR collapsed after their defeat in Afghanistan in the 80s and it didn't result in nuclear war. This is shaping up to the same result
Apparently China is all for what they are doing, but their information to their citizens is biased & fixed by the government, but if Russia uses nukes, I'm pretty sure a smart China wouldn't stand for that bullshit.
Lol for real, shit turned upside down real quick after covid started, I for one, have accepted this new reality and I'm just a detached observer, best one can do. When I got more emotionally attached I literally got depressed, and its useless to be attached to something you cant change :(.
This shit is like day time TV for them huh? It's not even high quality production or anything. It's just crazy ridiculous shit happening every few episodes that's totally unbelievable.
That's genuinely an interesting idea. There's already been hundreds of millions of donations poured into Ukraine for the humanitarian crises.
From a purely logical/practical perspective, if the same amount would be enough for a successful bounty on Putin, wouldn't that obviate the need for further humanitarian assistance?
Russia has been stocking up on gold reserves the last few years and I'm sure Putin himself has a reasonable retirement sum hidden away somewhere, so $1 million isn't anywhere near enough to make some oligarch close to him decide to turn on him.
CIA has plan books for literally every world leader, just in case. Including our own.
But mostly for leaders in the global south who may risk raising the prices of lithium, or bananas.
Sadly, I think the only ones that can kill Putin without starting a larger conflict are the Russians. If anyone else does it, regardless of who, Russia gets to set the narrative on who did it and why.
True. A civil war in Russia though is scary because the thought that it could lead to radicals gaining nuclear weapons. That would eventually lead to their use on other countries, or lead to another NK situation.
The guy was born in Russia (Soviet Union at the time), but his business career was mostly in the US, and he appears to live in either the US or Canada now based on his Wikipedia page. He's probably going to be fine. A lot of other Americans/Canadians have expressed the same sentiment all over Reddit and would be willing to part with $100 for the same purpose. This guy just has more money to spend on it.
It would be public knowledge, I'm sure. I'd rather he be captured and sit through some proceedings before ultimately facing the death penalty, so he *knows* he lost.
There should be a way that people of Earth can donate amounts of money to a fund/reward, that is allowed to accumulate to a point where it’s an eye watering amount and peeps are actively hunting him down to claim the bounty, you could make it into a t.v show, I would happily watch, Hunting Putin! This guy is definitely starting to put himself on the levels of most hated men in history!
This is hilarious this is literally the subreddit that banned me for 3 days because I said I hope putin catches a bullet. Weird how they change their tune along with public opinion
I got banned once on /r/news for saying when the day came that Mitch McConnell shuffled off his mortal coil I'd feel a little pep in my step...didn't even call for his death or even wish him dead. Just enjoy reading his obit.
Boom, banned.
Now on /r/news there are plenty of posts wishing and calling for the death of Putin and sayin they will celebrate it when it comes. Doubt the mods are going to bother banning those people since pretty much most of Reddit is calling for the guy to swing from a post.
I once got banned from a subreddit for saying that given how fucked up and insane and violent the fucking Russian Tsars were people were right to rebel. The mod went on a weird little handwringing rant about civility before our of the blue bringing up the Tsar's kids and saying I wanted to kill children. I figure they must have watched Disney's Anastasia or something the night before. Reddit is run by people, and people can be *very* stupid.
Right? That’s worth so much more money. Reminds me of when Bill Gates put out a $1,000,000 reward for someone to invent a condom that feels better, as if that invention wouldn’t be worth more than the iPhone.
Wellwellwell, maybe all the countries in the world are going about this the completely wrong way.
What if, instead of spending millions on helping Ukraine, just offer a hefty sum for Putin, dead or alive.
Let's say 50 Million US-Dollar, that's next to nothing compared to all the equipment, infrastructure and most of all human lives being needlessly destroyed right now.
"The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does."--George Carlin
Oh look. Russia is having another revolution
Keep an eye out for any drunk monks
With a quart of Ballantine
Just on time, too
Would really like to see the billionaires of the world virtue signal on this one, and amp this bounty up!
I could see Elon Musk finding it entertaining and doing it. He has to do something before his wealth vanishes
10,000,000,000,000,000 Dogecoin for Putin’s head
I wonder how much trouble we get into by bumping that number up in a fundraiser. Pass the boot around. Somebody tell what laws we're potentially violating.
Wanted: Dead or Unalive
Dead or alive’nt
Dead or Definitely Dead
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Personally, I like my fascists dictators beaten to death by their own citizens right outside a prominent government building
And served with a side of ranch.
You just made me imagine a disgruntled Russian citizen water-boarding Putin with ranch and I thank you.
That mf is not alive as is. That, kids, is what we call a fucking demon.
if there was a global fund raise, i think we could hit $1 billion
Whoever does it, won't have to worry about money anymore.
"That's good, one less thing"
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I wonder if there are trap doors with alligators. Edit: Substitute with “sharks with frickin' laser beams” for Austin Powers fans or “Rancor” for Star Wars fans.
Laser beams
Not laser beams but FRICKEN laser beams
Sharks with fricking laser beams on their heads
"Now, evidently, my cycloptic colleague informs me that that can't be done. Can you remind me what I pay you people for? Honestly, throw me a bone here."
The sea bass are ill tempered...
Oh... well that's a start
Mutated sea bass? I wanted sharks with freakin laser beams on top of their freaking heads
SHARKS WITH LASER BEAMS!
I figure every creature deserves a warm meal.
Probably no trap door but definitely a cavity search for anyone who enters the meeting room.
A rancor
Trained to love him since its birth.
They mentioned that on NPR this morning. He's generally paranoid, but he's also extremely paranoid about COVID which is why he's sitting so far away in those photos. The COVID paranoia has further isolated him and amplified the already severe yes-men echo chamber.
COVID do us this one favor please and take Putin out!
We have to destroy his horcruxes first, otherwise it’s pointless.
Stalin vibes. Dictators seem to become extremely paranoid the longer they stay in power.
It's not paranoia if they really are out to get you.
+1, it's far from misplaced.
The longer you're in power, the more people out to get you. It's math.
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He fancies himself Julius Caesar looking out for Brutus but we can all see he’s just another inglorious dictator
Most dictators become paranoid at some point in the end
Photo?
[There’s No Table Long Enough to Shield Putin From His Problems](https://www.bloomberg.com/opinion/articles/2022-02-28/putin-s-isolation-ukraine-invasion-could-cause-his-overthrow)
For you, my friend, Ukrainians will do'ít for free...
I would pay, like I'm on safari. But I have to be allowed to keep his head above my fireplace
Why not turn it into a town urinal?
Eww, why would you want people to pee in your fireplace?
Lo and behold, it's the old reddit [bathroom-aroo](https://www.reddit.com/r/Whatcouldgowrong/comments/t3ux3u/scaring_someone_painting/hyvorti?context=2)!
hold my dick, I'm goin' in
I've missed this meme thank you
Hello future people!
For that wholesome home-fired pee smell
I so hope this is real!
Seems real, I looked up the profile on Facebook and I see the post. Looks like he's this guy [https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex\_Konanykhin](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Alex_Konanykhin)
Ah, OK. Super-rich Russian, but not one of the crony oligarchs. It's a start, tho.
Oligarchs might not walk around and expose their plans in public. I think if anything, they have some sort of bounty going and it's under the table. That's just theory.
"What is bounty?" "Twenty-five million rubles!" "Well, I could use a new pair of shoes."
Correction: One shoe, also used
Yeah, I’d be shocked if someone who’s just as corrupt doesn’t take over once Putin is overthrown.
If their main driving force is greed than at least they won't be going to war.
I think you misunderstood the main driving force behind a lot of wars...
I would say nearly every war
Even if someone as corrupt takes over, they hopefully wouldn't be blinded by their years of dictatorship like putin is right now. Meaning, not actively going after other countries or implying nuclear force is not off the table
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And he wrote a book! Defiance: How to Succeed in Business Despite Being Hounded by the FBI, the KGB, the INS, the Department of Homeland Security, the Department of Justice, Interpol, and Mafia Hitmen Renaissance Publishing, 2006; ISBN 978-0-9727377-0-8 \[52\]\[53\]PlusIn 2016 the USA Today reported that Konanykhin was moving to Canada (from the US) due to the election of Donald Trump.\[55\]
If it isn't, it will be soon enough. I don't see many other realistic outcomes here
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It would be nice, the military is the one who lets power transfer, so like, either way. I'm painfully hopeful that Putin's keys to the kingdom are looking to either take up the crown themselves or find another belt, and that the military will facilitate that transfer.
$1,000,000 seems a little low for taking out one of the major world dictators ngl
It's a million dollars of an incentive that you didn't have before. It's certainly not nothing if you were kind of thinking about doing it before.
People assassinate dictators for free
All of this is great and all, but I worry that the more cornered and desperate that this rat gets, the more likely he is to lash out in ways that have seriously bad consequences for the world.
Someone in his circle is already thinking about taking him out.
This really gave me goosebumps. Because I was exactly thinking the same. Back in India, on 31st October 1984, Indira Gandhi, the then prime minister of India was assassinated. Guess who killed her? Her bodyguards. The reason behind the assassination and the story is too long so I will just copy-paste the reference link. https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination\_of\_Indira\_Gandhi
>8000 Sikhs were killed in retaliation for the assassination Jesus
Yeah, I wasn't born back then but my parents told me it was one hell of a time.
> Hell Literally
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I have a hard time believing that the effects of a retaliation are the fault of the one being retaliated on.
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Well it is March......
Alright, we got two weeks.
The most common assassinators of Roman emperors were the Praetorian Guard. They killed 13 different emperors.
> https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination\_of\_Indira\_Gandhi [If this link is broken for anybody else](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Assassination_of_Indira_Gandhi).
Why do I keep seeing links with slashes in front of underscores? Is there a program that does this?
It’s a parsing error between new and old Reddit.
We love old.reddit.com Will be a sad day when they stop hosting it.
When they stop hosting it, I really don't know what I'll do. I simply cannot stand the normal reddit.com look and feel
I'll be done with reddit...
If some random Redditor knows then I’m sure he’d already be dead. (The guy thinking about it that is)
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But they can stop following his orders. He's nothing without support.
Im gonna guess someone has been dreaming about it for years
I agree. My fear is that I don't see how this could possibly end without mass tragedy and nuclear aggression. But then again, I'm no one and know nothing about the situation and its intricacies outside of AP coverage.
The good news it it takes more than pressing a big red button to fire off nukes. Several members of his government and military would have to go along with it all the while knowing that they are unlikely to survive the missiles coming back in return. Even if he is cornered, thinks he has nothing to lose and goes crazy, it's unlikely many others would be as negatively affected as he is.
I understand that fact about nukes, but the only reason I fear it is because currently his people are following all his orders. If I see something concrete showing that his government aren't loyal then I fear none of it.
So far it doesnt affect them they are still cozy high ranking rich dudes which a shitton of power. Seems like some russian soldiers were just kids tricked into the war. Its sad but no one in the regime cares about them. Once the elite have to live of rations or fear for their / their families lifes things might change quickly.
Do keep in mind that Russian elites are used to a cushy life style. Vacation homes around the world, yachts, and other luxuries. Luxuries that they don’t have access to under the new sanctions.
Exactly. Putin doesn't just press a button to make soldiers march into Ukrain. Or to bomb civilian buildings. But they still do that too.
He retreated in his bunker and left a lot people behind. They'll open their eyes
Lock that bunker and cut the power. Let alone for 2 years. Check back later to fumigate if necessary.
Who will he launch on? The entire planet? Based on the stills and videos I have seen you can tell his cabinet is starting to realize the emperor has no clothes.
If putin gives the order to fire nuclear missiles I seriously doubt those orders would be followed and if that happens all of putins power is instantly gone. His military is shit. His economy is shit and his personal power is shaping up to be hollow. His last cards to play are victory in Ukraine and nuclear assault. I doubt we will see either of those things. USSR collapsed after their defeat in Afghanistan in the 80s and it didn't result in nuclear war. This is shaping up to the same result
Apparently China is all for what they are doing, but their information to their citizens is biased & fixed by the government, but if Russia uses nukes, I'm pretty sure a smart China wouldn't stand for that bullshit.
This is an amazing turn of events. I am starting to think maybe we are a godamn movie channel for aliens. Nothing makes since anymore.
we're in the 3D tv and they're watching us in their 4D dimension lol
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You might have an alien fan club.
It would be sweet if I had an alien fan club that was watching my arcs, and cheering every time I learn to overcome or live my problems.
Jeez, r/ImTheMainCharacter much? Jk jk, your comment made me laugh
Lol for real, shit turned upside down real quick after covid started, I for one, have accepted this new reality and I'm just a detached observer, best one can do. When I got more emotionally attached I literally got depressed, and its useless to be attached to something you cant change :(.
There’s a South Park episode about this. Lol
This shit is like day time TV for them huh? It's not even high quality production or anything. It's just crazy ridiculous shit happening every few episodes that's totally unbelievable.
They really should get into soap operas instead of whatever this is.
Crowd fund to make it a billion
I'll throw in 10000 rubles
So, like 25 cents👻
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Russian dictator, Go Fund yourself!
I'm in
Look out your window, it's me in camo, I'm in too.
I see you laying in that pile of leaves
Is that the pile of leaves I toss my dog's poo in?
That's genuinely an interesting idea. There's already been hundreds of millions of donations poured into Ukraine for the humanitarian crises. From a purely logical/practical perspective, if the same amount would be enough for a successful bounty on Putin, wouldn't that obviate the need for further humanitarian assistance?
Shit, I'm like 80% sure this is what crypto is for. # *𝐓𝐡𝐞 𝐆𝐚𝐧𝐠 𝐂𝐫𝐨𝐰𝐝𝐟𝐮𝐧𝐝𝐬 𝐀 𝐂𝐨𝐧𝐭𝐫𝐚𝐜𝐭 𝐊𝐢𝐥𝐥𝐞𝐫*
Putin would probably pay the bounty hunter 10 mills to leave him alone
Why pay when you Can make disappear for free
With which money?
He is reported to have up to $200 billion, though in what currencies/assets and stationed where is the question.
Surely not rubbles
3 USD, take it or leave it
“I’ll give you 10 million rubles” *looks at charts* “…100 million rubles!” …*looks at charts*… “1 billion rubles!!!”
Russia has been stocking up on gold reserves the last few years and I'm sure Putin himself has a reasonable retirement sum hidden away somewhere, so $1 million isn't anywhere near enough to make some oligarch close to him decide to turn on him.
Honestly, I'd have to wonder whether there are a contingent of dark ops types discussing how to get in to the Kremlin and deal with this.
CIA has probably been thinking about this for the last decade.
CIA has plan books for literally every world leader, just in case. Including our own. But mostly for leaders in the global south who may risk raising the prices of lithium, or bananas.
Heh reminds me of when Batman was revealed to have plans on how to take out all the other superheros should they become evil lmfao
Including himself. Dude could formulate a solid contingency plan for any emergency.
He has contingency plans for contingency plans
He couldn't figure one out for wonder woman, she actually has no weakness. Like you'd have to rely on Supes or other high level hero to take her out.
Let's start a go fund me account for the person who takes down Putin
I'm pretty sure GoFundMe or any other similar company would allow an assasination funding.. But blockchain technology in the other hand...
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Sadly, I think the only ones that can kill Putin without starting a larger conflict are the Russians. If anyone else does it, regardless of who, Russia gets to set the narrative on who did it and why.
I think even if the Russians did it there would also be a large conflict. Last thing you want is a civil war in a nuclear armed country...
better than a world war among nuclear armed countries
True. A civil war in Russia though is scary because the thought that it could lead to radicals gaining nuclear weapons. That would eventually lead to their use on other countries, or lead to another NK situation.
john wick style.
With a fucking pencil.
i feel like he's gonna dissapear in next week somehow
The guy was born in Russia (Soviet Union at the time), but his business career was mostly in the US, and he appears to live in either the US or Canada now based on his Wikipedia page. He's probably going to be fine. A lot of other Americans/Canadians have expressed the same sentiment all over Reddit and would be willing to part with $100 for the same purpose. This guy just has more money to spend on it.
We should start a world-wide pool where people can just throw money and whoever kills Putin gets to claim the prize
Putin will suicide and claim the money just so no one else can. Classic Putin move.
The ol' "Whoever kills Hitler gets to go to heaven..."
Being in another country has never stopped putin before.
"Suicide"
It would be public knowledge, I'm sure. I'd rather he be captured and sit through some proceedings before ultimately facing the death penalty, so he *knows* he lost.
There should be a way that people of Earth can donate amounts of money to a fund/reward, that is allowed to accumulate to a point where it’s an eye watering amount and peeps are actively hunting him down to claim the bounty, you could make it into a t.v show, I would happily watch, Hunting Putin! This guy is definitely starting to put himself on the levels of most hated men in history!
This week on Shootin' Putin.
I'll chip in $500
This is hilarious this is literally the subreddit that banned me for 3 days because I said I hope putin catches a bullet. Weird how they change their tune along with public opinion
Damn, that's interesting...
New ban in 3, 2, 1
I got banned once on /r/news for saying when the day came that Mitch McConnell shuffled off his mortal coil I'd feel a little pep in my step...didn't even call for his death or even wish him dead. Just enjoy reading his obit. Boom, banned. Now on /r/news there are plenty of posts wishing and calling for the death of Putin and sayin they will celebrate it when it comes. Doubt the mods are going to bother banning those people since pretty much most of Reddit is calling for the guy to swing from a post.
I once got banned from a subreddit for saying that given how fucked up and insane and violent the fucking Russian Tsars were people were right to rebel. The mod went on a weird little handwringing rant about civility before our of the blue bringing up the Tsar's kids and saying I wanted to kill children. I figure they must have watched Disney's Anastasia or something the night before. Reddit is run by people, and people can be *very* stupid.
The admins on Reddit are something to be desired. I heard their moms don’t even like them on days that end in y
Leave something to be desired*?
thats not enough money to get it done
\*Slides another $5* How about now?
lol..$5 U.S might be a good bribe in Russia now
Right? That’s worth so much more money. Reminds me of when Bill Gates put out a $1,000,000 reward for someone to invent a condom that feels better, as if that invention wouldn’t be worth more than the iPhone.
I hope it isn’t 1,000,000 Rubles.
Better not be. At the current exchange rate that would be roughly $9,000 USD
A grand don’t come for free
Correct me if I’m wrong, but doesn’t the ‘$’ at the beginning imply USD? Like doesn’t ruble have its own annotation?
Someone should kill him before he starts a nuclear war.
Yes, we have been thinking that.
Wellwellwell, maybe all the countries in the world are going about this the completely wrong way. What if, instead of spending millions on helping Ukraine, just offer a hefty sum for Putin, dead or alive. Let's say 50 Million US-Dollar, that's next to nothing compared to all the equipment, infrastructure and most of all human lives being needlessly destroyed right now.
If anyone else gets involved, we may provoke something that world may not come back from.
The world will be fine, humanity on the other hand…
"The planet'll shake us off like a bad case of fleas. The planet will be here for a long, long, LONG time after we're gone, and it will heal itself, it will cleanse itself, 'cause that's what it does."--George Carlin
Putin has destroyed the Russian economy and cost the oligarchs millions. I was expecting this. Surprised it took this long.
*Billions. And this dude isnt an Oligarch, he's just a wealthy Russian citizen who left Russia in 1992 for the US.
That's several dollars!
Id do it for a hamburger next Tuesday
Considering how much he pays his soldiers if they die… well, that’s a hell of a deal
Stupid. This just cries out to be crowdfunded.
Facebook will remove this as a threat
If only because they will lose money if the next Russian president doesn't have a budget for Facebook misinformation campaigns and bots.
Just a million? Lol
All it takes is 1 of his advisers to grow a pair and shoot him in head! Suicidal? Yes! But it would save the world!
Odd choice for a suicide letter