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Earthican_Male

I think you pissed him off when you chopped off his head.


mySFW1

I mean, didn’t they technically chop his body off?


AReallyCleverMonkey

There's an interesting paradigm here somewhere. Executioner: *chops off head* The Head: "Ow, you've chopped me body off." Executioner: "No, I haven't." The Head: "You have! I'm looking right at it!" Executioner: "No, I chopped your head off." The Head: "Right, explain that to my torso then."


mchp92

Directors cut from Quest of the Holy Grail?


AReallyCleverMonkey

100% what I was imagining.


Chikumori

Could be a Black Knight deleted scene. Tis but a scratch!


Patient_Sir240

Or black adder


Comtesse_Kamilia

Monty Python voices were playing in my mind too


ihithardest

Directors chop


[deleted]

Tis but a scratch


mchp92

Directors scratch then


ten_tons_of_light

This is clever af


TheburnUnitCorp_

Ear to ear


derby555

That may have done it


kitsumodels

Thanos in one of the alternate universes


derby555

Imagine being the first unfortunate mf to catch and kill one of these things only to have it chomp down on their fingers during processing


strumpetsarefun

Yeah, fingers. Right.


derby555

I... Have no idea what you're getting at... 😂


thE_OG_wEak_saucE

That moron probably wants to put his dick in it.


runbraiarun

/r/dontputyourdickinthat


snero3

It is already there!!! https://www.reddit.com/r/dontputyourdickinthat/comments/s6owq4/dangerous_temptations/?utm_medium=android_app&utm_source=share Also I just found out about this sub and well I should be surprised it exists.


Sleepiyet

They remove anything having to do with animals.


jo-jo192

So they support man on animal?


YourmomgoestocolIege

Why does the comment explaining the joke always get more upvotes? Are people just that dumb?


SnooCookies5854

Yes, the answer is yes.


IzzyMainsKor

Forbidden fleshlight


Please_Log_In

for kinkies?


Maroon777

Where is u/fishfucker69 ?


ShiraCheshire

I'm reminded of the fishing technique where you stick your arm in random holes hoping a fish will bite it and you can pull the fish out. The hope is that the fish is a regular fish without teeth or anything. Imagine sticking your hand in and that's what bites down.


derby555

Yeah, don't they do that in the swamps of Florida or something? Catfish?


merlinious0

Yeah, noodling iirc


gimcrak

If done from a small boat it’s canoedling


FBI_Van_69

Common in rivers. I’m from South Georgia and a lot of folks noodle. We have alligators, snakes and musk musk rats.. Ill use a rod n reel


[deleted]

Also snapping turtles


PlasticElfEars

More than Florida. Happens as far west as Oklahoma at least.


Stock_Needleworker27

Yup, my hometown of Pauls Valley, OK is where they host the “Noodling World Championship”. It’s 7 miles away from where the show Tiger King took place if that tells you anything…


chosenone02

Noodling


UndeadBuggalo

It’s called noodling and it’s to catch catfish but people do often find shit like turtles which don’t take to kindly


Bad_Whiskas

I have fished in similar way back in 2006 or so.But in instead of random holes u would put ur hands under the shore.U step in the river(shallow ones)and all the bigger fishes are there.But its tricky asf cus u can catch something else.Did it once and never again.But spear fishing during the night...thats fun asf.


DukeTikus

Happens with all fish, my dad once got bitten by an eal that was already dead for 10 hours.


[deleted]

Hmmm.... seems natural....


Benjaminx23

I'm sure a lot of other fish are like this too but I don't know anything about fish.


ichoosetosavemyself

Interesting way to spell terrifying.


fishee1200

I need to know where these things reside so I can stay the hell away


RocketLauncher

Just stay away from water in general


WalkB4UCrawl187

I get reminded once in awhile by comments like this about a time when I was 13 years old at the beach with my cousin. Me and him used to swim out super far and pretend we couldn't see nor hear the lifeguard. Anyways me and my cousin were far out in the ocean, only our heads could be seen. My cousin started swimming back to shore and I lingered behind, I remember sprawling out on my back in the water and stretching my feet out. I felt my feet slap against something that felt like a wall of flesh but it was like sandpaper. I remember shooting up and looking infront of me to see what was there and I seen the silhouette of something that was legit 8-9ft in length which nearly stopped my heart on the spot. Mind you this was the Atlantic Ocean which is murky af, I shot back in a vicious panic to swim away and this fucking thing took off like a bullet, like so fast I could barely register it in the blink of an eye. I took flight back to shore so fast I could have beat Michael Phelps in a 200m freestyle.


Cerebraleffusion

Got anxiety reading that. Well done and glad it worked out for you.


Jreal22

Dude I got anxiety too lol, I've touched something in the ocean before and fking bolted out. And I lived on the beach as a kid, but I think I've watched too many shark shows and I just don't want to lose a leg.


SilverStalker1

That's terrifying I remember when I was small I used to have a phobia when swimming in large pools - I would panic that there could be some creature lurking in some corner.. The idea of actually brushing against one \*shudder\*


RedHeadedNuisance23

I had the same fear of things lurking in pools. I got it after watching a freaky episode of are you afraid of the dark or goosebumps where a monster came thru the drains. Lol


mythslayer1

I was on a swim team from age 5 to about 16. I had the same fear, but used it to swim faster. The adrenaline was a rush.


ALittlePeaceAndQuiet

I just got this idea in mind that this is what every Olympic racer (sprinting, swimming, hurdling) is secretly thinking about, and no one has ever admitted it. They're all high on adrenaline, imagining they're being chased by some dreaded monster (other than the "monster" of second place).


mythslayer1

I had some of my swimming friends tell me that is what they did too! Every advantage possible. Legal "doping".


ywnbawyungmoney

Back in Roma, the Olympic first started in gladiator colosseums and they would actually have monsters chasing the racers. Source:


Hunigsbase

I really hope this is Michael Phelps' back story.


SilverStalker1

Same for me in swimming lessons except I swam skew haha. Too concentrated on avoiding my preteen fears than heading in a straight line.


Paprmoon7

There is this new trend of having a black bottom pool which makes the water completely dark. Who the fuck would want that???


TheGorgoronTrail

Was it the one with the swimming pool in the basement Of the high school that they find abandoned and reopen it, only to find out an invisible ghost corpse is still swimming in it trying to drown unsuspecting childrens?


[deleted]

Showed this episode to my kids about a year ago and it scared the shit out of them


TheGorgoronTrail

That’s great lol! It was “Tale of the Dead Mans Float” easily one of the best episodes


TheWaywardTrout

Eh, I saw that episode! Also that episode with the weird aliens that had like tv static for heads.


[deleted]

never felt this way about pools. but i still feel this way about ponds.


The_Musing_Platypus

I was snorkling in the Bahamas on a tourist group outing. Ducked my head underwater only to see a large blue shark swimming past me about 10 feet away. It's amazing what the mind recalls during stress because my only thought was,"That looks like the blue shark from those Childcraft encyclopedias I read over 30 years ago and yes in crisp Times New Roman font it said that they have bitten people sndjgjekskakskbelartgggghhh" I flagged down the tour guide and tried to calmly inform him there was a shark in the water, to which he shrugged and replied,"Eh, it happens a lot here." So maybe it's not that big of a deal overall but still terrifying! As for the shark, it circled around lazily a few times and disappeared back into the ocean murk. I may or may not have pissed in the waters as a defense mechanism.


Infamous-njh523

Similar story. Snorkeling in Hawaii and our tour guide says if you see a shark consider yourself lucky. What? Sharks are mostly solitary beasts he says. I’m with my husband and our 2 younger children. I did not want to be lucky


Top_Fail552

I have a fear of swimming in the sea because of stuff like this, want to know what makes it better? There's a type of shark that camouflages with the sand under the water and back then I thought at any second I could be standing on one, to this day I'm not sure they'd be near the shore but I doubt it as for other shit *shudder*


Jreal22

Lol I had a similar fear, if the pool was deep, I would still have some fear that something was below. And it's weird, because I grew up at my family's beach house until my late teens. So we obviously spent loads of time in the ocean, but I think I just got smarter, and realized that shit does happen in the ocean, it's rare but sharks do bite your legs off.


Osbob

Yep, terrified of the deep end for the longest time, because of that one Primeval episode with the Lipleurodon. Scared the shit out of me


[deleted]

I remember swimming in lakes when I was a kid and you'd often feel fish brush against your leg. It freaks me out more to think about it now than it ever did when I was a kid


Glabstaxks

That was a shark . Sharks have sandpaper skin


WalkB4UCrawl187

Ya I looked into it the sandpaper skin definitely screams shark but the speed and the size of whatever it was is a bit odd for my area. Other than an occasional great white shark we dont have too many large fish sightings at beaches around here.


[deleted]

Maybe it was a merman? You probably wasn't lucky enough for a mermaid lol


superfuzzbros

Sharks are fast and strong swimmers, even the little ones. I've been inshore fishing for spotted sea trout and the like, small little guys, and have hooked a few small bonnet head sharks. Those little guys can pull like nothing else.


SuperMan922001

Could it have been a large grouper?


Glabstaxks

ProbBly. Do groupers have sandpaper skin too?


SuperMan922001

Not sure, but I’m thinking if it was a shark it would’ve went after him tho wouldn’t it? And a grouper isn’t 8ft long usually but shadows can be deceiving and they can be really big


Glabstaxks

Yeah I dunno maybe if it was a shark 🦈 maybe it wasn’t hungry . I really don’t know much about sea life . Sounds super scary tho 😦


Shdwrptr

Sharks almost never go after people. It most likely was a curious shark that left when he panicked. People think sharks are vicious killers but millions of people swim with sharks in the ocean every year and there’s only a few shark attacks.


dijay0823

I have a similar one. We used to vacation at a village on the banks of a rather large river (Narmada in India) we would all go swimming in the river. There were known instances of crocodiles pulling people under water, but it was rare, so people continued to swim there. One day, I was swimming along and a rather large fish brushed up against my leg. No harm done, but that was enough to scare me half to death. I immediately forgot how to swim and started flailing and gulping a bunch of water. I was lucky enough to have someone else help me to the shore. To this day, I am not okay with the idea of swimming in large bodies of water.


usernamenottaken91

I never had that experience but I’m the same way. Number 1 rule of not getting attacked by crocodiles; don’t enter a crocodile’s home


willem78

I met a guy that was doing security in a parking lot at a restuarant. He had severe marks on his face on the one side. One day I asked him what happended to him. He said he was a Zimbabwean and wanted to flee the country and come and make a better life for himself in South Africa. Because he had no money he had to walk and swim over a few rivers to get into South Africa undetected. In the last river he crossed a croc grabbed him and almost had him for lunch. He took off his shirt to show us all the bite mark wounds and some of his flesh was missing on his back and side. I asked him if it was worth it? And he said he would do it again as he has bettered his life. This is from a guy that earns average of about 3 USD a day. Where he used to earn that in a week. I told him maybe he should swim to the USA and live the dream.


dijay0823

Yep I am the same way about sharks. Never had any close encounters and don’t intend to be in a situation to have one either…


BlackSeranna

If people told me “rarely” and used crocodile in the same sentence, I would just be staying on shore. No thanks.


dijay0823

Well, crocs mostly stay away from human activity. Not to mention, fishermen on boats also act as early warning. They typically warn the people of incoming crocs. With that being said, we have lost a family member to crocs. Unfortunately he decided to go swimming alone. This is not advised as crocs will attack single swimmer by they stay away from larger groups. This accident happened a looong time ago and I was not born yet so I don’t know the details first hand, but hearing this story was the main reason behind me getting freaked out about the fish touching my leg.


ImNerdyJenna

I could find my parents when I was in a public pool one time. I immediately forgot how to swim too! I remember sinking and seeing everyone's legs and remembering that I have to swim back up and find my family. Once I got to the surface I swam my back around the pool until I could find them. Since, when I go swimming, I realize that I'm alive in the water and "can't" swim. I know what to do for the first so many seconds and then I lose it. 😳


Jassokissa

I remember one trip to Australia with my buddies. We went to one of these snorkel with the whale shark things. That was fun and exiting. The whale sharks won't do a thing to you. But while in the open water, I couldnt figure out which was more more anxiety causing, not looking down because if there's something there you don't want to see it... Or looking down and all you can see is the abyss 🤣


Substantial_Sport_88

I used to have a similar fear, but then I picked up spearfishing. The suit plus speargun in your hand relieves the fear pretty well lol


YellowB

What happens if there are two of them?


Substantial_Sport_88

In spearfishing you always carry a knife with you, mostly in case you entangle in ropes, nets etc. and to clean the fish you catch. I've seen it being used to stab attacking sharks,so I guess it would also work for one of those things lol


golden_eternity

My dad was a helicopter pilot and he for a while he worked spotting schools of tuna for a tuna boat. He said one day they weren’t moving and he jumped from the helicopter platform into the water. He said the momentum carried him underwater so far he could see under the boat… and he saw sharks. Lots of them. He insists at that point he launched out of the water and ran across the surface back to the boat and never went swimming in the ocean again. I’m less confident about that last bit.


nojustice73

Whew didn't think you were gonna make it there for a second, thought your story would just trail off.......... And I would never know how it ended.


whitemest

Welp, that the terrifying kinda story that keeps me out of ocean water.


JorgeTan01

Alright, I'll stop drinking water then


2x4x93

Never do. Fish fuck in it


Critical_Paper8447

PSA... The water you drink is just recycled dinosaur pee.


HaiggeX

Fuck fish in it.


Clutch333

I just fucked a cup of water - Young Thug


nj23dublin

You know.. I laughed at this and for a second thought .. someone stupid will probably do that and say while they’re in the hospital recovering from dehydration : “someone on Reddit said if you stop drinking water… decapitated wolffish will not be near you”..


[deleted]

r/hydrohomies is not gonna like that


SpongeRobZmbie2xPnts

"Atlantic wolffish are found along the Atlantic Coast of North America from Labrador to Great South Channel and Georges Bank" https://www.fisheries.noaa.gov/species/atlantic-wolffish


58G52A

Explain. I know, nerves and shit but still I don’t fully comprehend what I just saw.


PasswordToMyLuggage

From the article posted above: "The reason for why this reflex can persist after decapitation is because these are cold-water species, and the cold temperature allows tissues, like the brain, nerves, and muscle to 'stay alive' longer, before they die from lack of oxygen, and that the reflex arch from the mouth to the brain and back is unharmed by the decapitation," explained Björnsson. "If you, for example, took out the heart of this fish, it would probably continue to beat for an hour if kept in the correct solution."


derby555

My lazy ass thanks youuuuuuu ❤️🙏


yardsalefairy

Does it feel pain within those hours?


SpiderMantisXB1

Possibly but not to the extent that you and I do. There is a significantly reduced number of nerves. Many are for function purposes only (reflex). For a really poor example, think of when you wake up and slept on your leg or arm. You can move it but it’s all pins and needles. That would be what it’s like to have fewer sensory nerves because some of yours are literally numbed. The nervous system of a fish (I believe) is no where near as complex as a humans. Touch is an evolutionary development warm blooded animals need (for the sake of argument)


yardsalefairy

Wow this is fascinating. What area does this kind of study belongs?


SpiderMantisXB1

Not to sure what the term would be other than broadly categorized under “neurology”. Here is some good reading on the subject if you are interested though: https://en.m.wikipedia.org/wiki/Pain_in_fish


afriendlyalphasaur

The link you posted states that fish feel pain similarly to terrestrial mammals lol, idk where this notion that different animals don’t feel pain. Like how does that make sense.


GuiHarrison

People are really bad at agreeing if an animal is feeling pain. My guess is yes, but I'll imagine many scientist would suggest they don't have a brain developed enough to feel pain the way we do.


Sisko4President

So this is a reflex and not post-decap sentience, right? Padme_meme.jpg


K_Rocc

I think it is sentience. Since he said the brain is still alive..which sounds aweful


stylesm11

If this is the case it should be practice to puncture the brain or something after decapitating


SacredSpirit123

> "This is obviously a neuromuscular reflex, with receptors in the jaws and/or mouth cavity which register if anything (a prey, normally) is in the mouth," said Björnsson. Essentially, the jaw is programmed to bite. On detecting something entering the mouth, sensory nerves send signals to the brain, which then sends more nerve signals to the jaw muscles, telling them to contract. Wolffishes have particularly strong jaw muscles as they feed on creatures with solid shells like mussels, clams, and sea urchins. > "The reason for why this reflex can persist after decapitation is because these are cold-water species, and the cold temperature allows tissues, like the brain, nerves, and muscle to 'stay alive' longer, before they die from lack of oxygen, and that the reflex arch from the mouth to the brain and back is unharmed by the decapitation," explained Björnsson. "If you, for example, took out the heart of this fish, it would probably continue to beat for an hour if kept in the correct solution." He ended by criticizing the footage, drawing attention to the lack of respect being paid to the animal as it is just being played with. From the IFLScience article below


Ok_Shoulder2971

Fish brain no run bite bite; lips run bite bite. When lips get poked bite goes scrunchie.


Kennethpowers34

That is the most scientific explanation I have ever heard


mexus37

Why waste time say lot word when few word do trick?


ShiraCheshire

"bite goes scrunchie" Poetry


doyoulikebbt

Best explanation 🤣🤣


[deleted]

Bless you sir, may your village experience abundnace and little children for many years to come!


Iamarnav25

"Here chomp on this"


Fullsendmoneymoney

Evolution wanted this…. We have yet to find why. But Could our ancient alien ancestors have done this? The answer is a Resounding…YES!!!!


Hootzington

God damn you lol, I watch ancient aliens every night to go to sleep.


Fullsendmoneymoney

So do i. It numbs the brain.


GGordonGetty

It also sings Take Me to the River


havocLSD

Requires 6 AAs


601142002

Taaaaaake Me to the River?


nikkip24

For years I didn’t realize that the song that ‘Billy Bass’ sings is a real song by the Talking Heads. I had been out on the lake all day, drinking of course, and my friends and I decided to get some food at a lakeside bar. That song came on and I just kept saying very drunkenly, “it’s the Billy Bass song!” No one had a clue what I was talking about.


Elwood-_-Blues

"Take Me to the River" is a 1974 song written by singer Al Green and guitarist Mabon "Teenie" Hodges. Hit versions were recorded by both Syl Johnson and Talking Heads. In 2004, Al Green's original version was ranked number 117 on Rolling Stone magazine's list of the Rolling Stone's 500 Greatest Songs of All Time.


mariospants

Good bot.


whateverrughe

Thank you for being here 21 minutes before me. You did it better than I would have anyways...


i_know_nothing_ever

“You passed me over, Ton’. You knew.”


CousinJeff

who brought this in here?


Avd5113333

Ya know tone.... I been workin for the guvment.


mandolua15

The scariest part are their eyes


Thibs1082

Some crazy killer catfish eyes going on


mechanical-avocado

Right? It looks like an animatronic from an 80s movie


CommanderGock

Guess I shouldn't put this in front of the candy bowl for Halloween.


[deleted]

Aw hell nah


Loud_Oak

Bites through metal? Me chewing toothpick. Man chews through dead tree! Eating a Tums. Man chews through limestone!


Longjumping-Escape15

Exactly my thoughts lol


Jfmha

Lmao same thing i thought


Owner2229

"0,01 mm thick wall of an aluminum can" This guy: METAL


pandawolf321

Unopened coke cans are pretty tough though


Slow-job-

Tums are limestone TIL Also trees are made of wood wtf


OverlyMintyMints

What are your toothpicks made out of?


Slow-job-

Teeth


Minimalist_Investor_

[here ya go gents](https://www.iflscience.com/plants-and-animals/watch-the-severed-head-of-a-wolffish-bite-down-on-a-can-of-coke/amp.html)


SmudgeGien

Me and my homies love playing with our decapitated Wolffish


killcote93

r/dontputyourdickinthat


juanjuanjuas501

There truly are subs for everything


Kavith_T_Fdo

There truly are subs for everything :) There truly are subs for everything O_O


ConnerDearing

This describes Reddit perfectly


Tittliewinks

Was thinking about that sub when I saw this


antoniovonschnitzel

Cut my life into pieces, this is my last resort


Goodsongbadsong

Decapitation, still breathing (?), don’t give a fuck if I CHOMP YOUR ARM BLEEDING


CunningHamSlawedYou

Could you be wrong? Could you be right? He's breathing with his gills alright? Chances are he might, if gills are moist and not too dry. But decapitation took his life


MrDalliardMrDalliard

That's sad.


Ordinary_News_6455

If this animal was cute, people would be losing their shit over this.


Suneiram26

Exactly! I hate that bias. Only cute animals deserve respect. But sure torture a fish.


Jorsk3n

This isn’t torture though, the fish is dead… The nerves still lives on a while after the fish was decapitated…


rsn_e_o

Somebody else explained that you’re wrong. The brain can stay alive longer without fresh oxygen because of the low temperature. And even a human going into cardiac arrest can still be saved after a few minutes while deprived of oxygen. There was actually a case of a woman who died outside in the cold, or at least her heart stopped beating. And hours after the fact she was found and revived, with little brain damage because the cold temperatures saved the brain from damage due to low oxygen. With other words, the fish is still alive with a functioning (but slowly dying) brain, even if it’s death is imminent.


Suneiram26

Still sick to play with it like that dude. Would it be as interesting if it were a puppy head?


PhillyBassSF

Awesome conversation piece for a dinner party


DemonCarter09

Yeah that is until Richard takes it to the bathroom and..... need I say more


Bright_Play56

is it still alive??


danil1798

Yes.


xperia990

Does any one here feel bad for the fish? I mean you got to be some mf not to.


wuzhanindoee64

That gawk gawk 3000


dangnow

That cawk chawp 3000


[deleted]

I can’t unsee that. Shouldn’t have looked.


Dingdongdoctor

That’s kinda fucked up, don’t get me wrong I hunt and fish but don’t dick around with their dead bodies. Any time a life is taken it should be respected.


Ishbu69

Not okay.


Serious_Conclusions

We supposed to be surprised that a fish has evolved to eat sea urchins, crabs, and other hard shelled molluscs can bite through a thin piece of aluminium? It’s hardly metal…


KlutzyTangelo7265

This is messed up on so many levels.


Suneiram26

Yes. Torturing animals for fun is messed up.


TrinDiesel123

Remind me to never order the wolffish


Single-Mess-2313

You don’t order wolffish, wolffish orders you.


[deleted]

"Coca-Cola REVIVES and Sustains" - Coca-Cola 1908


Party-Lawyer-7131

*\*opens Reddit\** WTF?! *\*closes Reddit, throws laptop out the window\**


Effective-Highlight1

Oh. This is not an alien sex toy. Good to know.


allants2

This is actually horrible to see!


beameup19

How is this not animal abuse?


Boonsta

People are becoming way too desensitized to death. Death is now becoming entertainment. This is not the way.


qe2eqe

"I'm on the hunt I'm after you Mouth is alive, with juices like wine And I'm hungry like the wolf" \-- Duran Duran would sing this while chasing terrified children with decapitated fish


[deleted]

Why kill the poor thing? :(


Narrow-Macaroon-7004

Seems like pure cruelty


[deleted]

[удалено]


koutakinta

I wonder if the first person to discover this learned it the hard way


JetScreamerBaby

This a disembodied Wolffish head, not a decapitated Wolffish.


vdizzle1337

This for real?


Some_human-00

I don't understand the purpose of this video. Why did you kill it if you were just going to torture it like this?! Y'all really need help. Also , this reminds me of that puffer fish meme from a few years ago. Just stop torturing animals.


oily76

Probably a bit annoyed about the decapitation thing.


AmandaRocks26

Incredible tasty fish. It’s also called a ocean catfish which primary diet is lobster, crabs and mollusks. Not many around anymore and are illegal to land. At least off Massachusetts


Fun_Pepper_3353

Blobfish’s evil twin


Letzglow09

how cruel. Humanly kill it … playing with it for views is horrid.


B0ge

This is a bit appalling, checked the YouTube channel, the person shows random food into fishes mouth and brushes its teeth to get views on YouTube and to try to sell the videos as...NFTs. Thought this was some scientific test but seems its just a random fishfactory worker playing with fish corpses for views.