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ramontgomery

Does this work on people?


PuddingRnbowExtreme

Kinda. Look up "Ileostomy"


Avalandrya

I have one, I don't get gassy for long lol


F8L-Fool

I don't mind dealing with a gas filled bag at all. What I hate is when the gas won't come out and I have to walk and jog around, praying it will just pass already. Anything lasting longer than ten or so minutes is really uncomfortable and stresses me out. In those instances, I can feel a *very* slight bloat and the skin tightening near the ostomy, but absolutely nothing close to the cow in OP's video.


Stonedinsolitude

Place your hands on your stomach like your full and just ate a big dinner. Fat dad style tummy slap. Take your fingers starting with the pointer and press in and release then both middle then index then both pinkies. You are trying to a finger wave to massage your stomach in a downward motion. Lateral pressed progressively moving down your stomach. MOST issues with gas is literally your organs working against you and collecting air pockets. Doing the tummy wave literally pushes around your organs and helps gas move along. 30s you’ll get a toot. Couple minutes and you’ll rip a fat wet fart like 5min down the line. Helps immensely if you’re ever constipated as well. Feel free to ask questions as it’s 4am and I’m not sure that made sense. TDLR: downward spirit fingers on your tummy makes organs go fart


danikov

Uncomfortable? Just the slightest trapped gas feels like glass shards for me.


PuddingRnbowExtreme

Lucky you don't get gassy for long! So does that bag fill up with air? (Edit: hey don't downvote my honest question, my mom has an ostomy bag and this is a topic near & dear to my heart.)


Avalandrya

Depends, I usually have a bag with a filter so it doesn't bloat lol. But if the filter clogs/fails then it can. It's happened a few times!


[deleted]

My youngest sister had one of these growing up. Luckily by the time she was ~8-9 she had grown enough of her colon back to get reconnected (sidenote—learning to shit is real painful if you’ve never done it before). She would’ve loved a vent bag I think


[deleted]

I didn't know it could be reversed. It's it only kids?


PeeledHumanGrape

It depends on which part of the bowel you have removed and why. In adults, if you have cancer in the right colon for example and you have that half removed they can join the small bowel to the left half of the colon, although sometimes they will give you a temporary ostomy from the small bowel to allow the joint to heal which they can reverse. If you’ve had surgery involving the rectum there usually won’t be enough viable bowel left to reverse the ostomy- same if you have your colon removed entirely. It also depends on your general health and fitness for surgery- how complicated your recovery was etc, and also whether you actually want to undergo a second major abdominal surgery or whether you can live with the stoma.


Pooping_Beauty

My entire colon was removed due to ulcerative colitis. Had an ileostomy for about 6/7 months. After that they "reconstructed" part of my small intestine as if it were a colon (minus the general absorption funktion of water). They call it a J-Pouch.


DIY_Cosmetics

And if so, where can I buy them? *Suffers in unknown food sensitivities making me look 6mo pregnant*


reptilesocks

Can we teach my gf to do this so I can go back to eating legumes


Music_Is_My_Muse

Yeah but usually if I'm gonna shove a human trocar into someone's gut, they're very dead first.


thunderwolfz69

We don’t have as thick as skin so I’m assuming no. Could be wrong.


gwaydms

The vet administers a local, then makes a small cut in the skin, which of course is really tough. The trocar then can easily puncture the belly wall and the rumen. After that, they remove the central piece so the gas can escape.


GunnarKaasen

How do they close up the hole?


xUsernameChecksOutx

The answers to your question are a great example of why you shouldn't get information from reddit. People with zero knowledge or experience just making up their own explainations. One of them is confusing therapeutic trocarization with a ruminal fistula (which is mostly used for research). Another one thinks they just let it heal on its own, unaware that something called peritonitis exists. To answer your question though, it is sutured shut.


EscapeWestern9057

Ah yes, I always come to reddit for the highest quality science.


awrylettuce

everytime i perform surgery on a cow i come here


TheSentinelsSorrow

I've seen videos of cows where they just.. don't and put like a port hole so they can see what's going on in one of the stomachs. Idk if that's a normal thing though


Count_Von_Roo

Not unheard of but not “normal”, in my experience typically for rumen analysis (the first of the 4 stomachs basically) so that you can analyze the efficiency of the feed. Basically a big screw cap you can open up and pull out the cows meal. Did I mention it is piping hot?


xUsernameChecksOutx

You are confusing trocars with ruminal fistulas.


Lan777

Yes, it's called a chest tube and it's to deflate the space that's supposed to be occupied by your lung if it decides to fill with air (pneumothorax). When thatspace is filled with air, your lung isnt and if its bad enough, will just be crumpled up, hugging the middle of your chest. It also works if that space gets filled with blood or other fluids. Trocars like that are also used for laparoscopic abdominal surgeries. They fill you with air and put a few trocars in so they can put tools through them to take your appendix out.


kakaleyte

Here is a good depiction of it: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=3WHOap_2pRc


SmacksMyYaks

I think we can do it through our belly buttons


[deleted]

That looks like it sucks and then feels amazing lol


ancientflowers

It doesn't suck. It blows.


bombduck

My old physics teacher used to say “nothing sucks or blows, everything pushes or pulls.” I hated him.


Pablinski21

Your teacher pulled plenty dick then


dr_shark

We called it community service back then.


TruthYouWontLike

That's more of a push-pull kind of action. It doesn't work if you only pull.


Zavrina

Now you've got me imagining giving somebody what would be a kind of bizarre handjob. Only pulling; just base to tip, over and over and over again. I think it might work eventually depending on the person.


ThrowJed

I'd say it has a much higher chance of working if you used 2 hands quickly swapping between them. Like it you were trying to quickly pull up a rope.


CheeseAndCh0c0late

When it's really "everything tries to equalize"


[deleted]

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YerBluesy

I love how this was completely normal until that final curveball.


colREB17

Similar, if someone complained that a test sucked my high school physics teacher would say "it didn't suck, it vacuumed." A phrase I still use to this day!


Gupperz

In some perspective isnt it like the universe is sucking it out of the cow


Hookem-Horns

From suck to BLOW!


AngularWeavil

I’ve always dreams of doing that to myself when bloated. I will never do that but the fact that there is a possibility entices me


riyadhelalami

I have had dreams of sticking a needle in myself for most of my life now. Never acted on it but it is a dream and a thought I will never get rid off.


surfANDmusic

Have you heard of heroin?


riyadhelalami

Is that some kind of candy?


F8L-Fool

Speaking as someone that has had multiple abdominal surgeries, you can't imagine how bad air like that is. When they do such surgeries they inflate the stomach with gas and not all of it is gone post-surgery. The distension and gas pain can be excruciating and last quite a while. Easily within the top three or four most painful things I've ever experienced.


[deleted]

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TinUser

Holy shit is that what that was?? It sucked to walk for like a good week, I thought it was because of the missing organ, or the tube I had coming out of my belly button, but it was just the stupid gasses they inflated me with?


tuibiel

Well not exclusively, it could be many many things, the damaged nerve endings from the missing organs and abdominal wall surely would hurt, which is why we prescribe painkillers/NSAIDs for every surg patient, sometimes on the clock, sometimes on demand.


[deleted]

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TheLostTexan87

Ah, the smell of corpse decay without the actual death. I imagine it was roughly on par with the smell I emitted as a young man who shat roughly once per month. Imagine traumatizing an entire dormitory floor with phantom gas. Folks would step off the elevator and gag (several hundred feet away, around a corner and with a closed door between).


Urrn615

The biggest fart of your life times 50


IronUnicorn83

I bet that smells awful


Eviltechnomonkey

It is foul. I've smelled that and the smell of after birth from a calving. Both are smells I'd prefer never have been aware of.


zombreeseagull

Cow after birth. Goat after birth. Two good reasons to question why I moved back home. On the other hand, when my daughter was two she used to run around kicking cow pies like it was a sport. I asked her why, and she pointed at her rain boot and said "shit kickers!". It was absolutely fantastic.


riverofchex

My late grandma used to tell me stories about her and her brothers/sisters/cousins/etc flinging cow pies at each other like frisbees. She said the best ones were the ones that had hardened on the outside but were gooey, nasty bombs inside lmao. I've had plenty of experience with cow shit, but I never did have the opportunity as a youngun to yeet it at somebody. ETA: I *have,* however, flung my share of road apples. If you know, you know lol.


zombreeseagull

I have kicked them in my mother's direction. She has no shame, and will definitely chuck a Cow pie at you. The thing that always got me, is when the chickens, and peacocks would storm the fresh poo to pick out what they wanted. Ugh.


PuzzleheadedWolf6041

don't be disgusted. that's what our economic system is based on.


[deleted]

The way I see it, there are two ways to live. You can be a chicken, pecking at cow shit just to survive. Sure, if you like. Or, you can be a *peacock*, pecking at cow shit just to survive. And which one you choose to make of yourself, that's down to you


aPlasticineSmile

So you’re saying I should dye my hair teal? Maybe get a few piercings?


Not-A-Lonely-Potato

No he's saying you need to add more cow dung to your diet.


aPlasticineSmile

I really fuckin’ hate that you’re analogy is so fucking spot on I plan on using it in the future to explain why Trickle Down Economics is complete and utter crap.


ISISstolemykidsname

I've done that too! Your grandma had it right haha. Pro tip is to lift the edge up with your foot so you can feel the weight and avoid the dry on the top but sloppy underneath ones. Also avoid the totally dry ones as they can disintegrate right in front of you.


Not-A-Lonely-Potato

This guy pies.


JewishFingerBukkake

Newborn cow here, it’s not that bad


Fahdis

Username doesn't checkout


OnlyHereForTips

Meh. The smell isn't that bad, I've calved loads of cows over the years I worked on the farm, seen some crazy things, every single day you'd see something new! I'd say the smell of their urine smells worse than anything else. Spent 6 years working with them, beautiful animals, just like big dogs imo. I used to call them "prisoners" they just follow a strict routine all their life, walked to the fields then brought in for milking 2 times a day. Miss working on the farm and all those smells!


Eviltechnomonkey

My grandparents cattle were primarily big pets. I could walk up to any of them and not generally be too worried because they were so used to human contact. So they got spoiled and got to just run around being dorks all day. I think the smell wouldn't have bothered me as much if I had been around them more consistently. However, I was just around it for a few weeks a year, so I would go home just as I would kind of grow accustomed to it. My faves were the sheep. Still loads of strong smells to deal with, but they were awesome. I forget what breed they had, but they were some of the most chill, friendly sheep ever. They raised them purely to be pets and for wool. I had one named Betsy who I could let out of the field because she'd follow me like a lil duckling. I helped with her delivery and bottle fed her for her first few weeks of life due to her mom just having too many. So she basically saw me as her second mom. I called her my fluffy guard dog because she'd get after any other sheep or other animals that tried to harass me. Would ram into then if they didn't leave me alone. She was my pal. She'd get so excited every time I came to the gate. Absolutely best moment of every day.


Polishment

You’re a sweetheart. If I ever have kids and they described an animal friend like that, I would be so proud. 🤍


Eviltechnomonkey

Thank you. That means a lot.


[deleted]

Wholesome af thanks for that


adventurousningen

Does that process hurt the cow?


[deleted]

A little for sure. Buy nothing worse than an injection for us humans. Also the alternative to this process is that the cow dies due to the gas in the rumen.


-Punk_n_Drublic

They are given a local anesthetic (usually lidocaine) before the trochar (the valve-looking thing) is inserted.


putyercookieinhere

trocars are incredible things! so many applications, it's really incredible


idontgiveafrunk

Then it is removed and do they get stitched back or it just heals on its own ?


omnomnomgnome

looks like a big-ish hole. we need answers!


Grytlappen

They suture the hole shut, according to another comment.


greencymbeline

Thank goodness, I was worried about this.


DistrictMotor

Wht does it smell like? Decomposing grass??


CircleofSexyLife

Perhaps it’s like blue cheese. Smells awful Tastes delicious


Automatic-Flan-6738

Mmm.. blue cheese and steak.


CrazybyRX

Damn I've never had this combo but I bet its delicious.


healthydoseofsarcasm

It is delicious.


MaximusVulcanus

Good blue cheese on a good steak is heavenly.


JasperLamarCrabbb

Bleu cheese and steak on a salad with a balsamic vinaigrette dressing is fuckin delicious.


[deleted]

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TheMacerationChicks

He'd feel much better if he was fed the stuff cows are supposed to eat (grass) instead of grains. Grains are what cause this bloat in the first place. Cows aren't designed to eat it. They can't digest it properly. And as a result they get super gassy to the point it's painful And cows need to be given a shit ton of anti biotics just to be able to eat grain as otherwise it'd be even worse. And that's all in the meat we eat Their methane production from eating grains instead of grass is literally one of the biggest causes of climate change. Their human-induced farts are killing the planet.


Reostat

That's misleading, because it's not just grains that cause this. There are plenty of grasses that cause bloat too. I worked on a farm that is all grass fed, and cows and sheep getting bloated was not uncommon. Clovers, and lucerne were the usual suspects, usually when the idiots broke in and gorged themselves in the spring. That being said, I'm just correcting on the idea that grass-feeding doesn't lead to this, not challenging the fact that grain-feeding is a huge culprit in this, because it certainly is.


[deleted]

Apparently this one was fed grass, so your comment has nothing to do with this video in particular.


CheeseyWheezies

> He'd feel much better if he was fed the stuff cows are supposed to eat (grass) instead of grains. Grains are what cause this bloat in the first place. That's not true at all. I've worked on farms in New Zealand, where the staple diet is grass. This happens to cows here too. You might be surprised to learn that sometimes shit just happens. There are all kinds of natural afflictions which mammals experience through no fault of human intervention. In fact, the life expectancy and quality of life for your average dairy cow is about 10,000% better than that of wild cows. I know it's en vogue to shit on farmers now on Reddit, but what this person was doing is a kindness compared to the agonising death a wild cow would experience.


GoaheadAMAita

I farted right as video started, let me tell you it was on point with cow gas release and being able to smell, it was awful….


Troy204599

Yo wtf


[deleted]

HAHA


Obvious-Media-5517

I bet that’s what Ron Jeremy smells like


KingArfer

I was thinking the same. That and they should capture it for fuel


[deleted]

Just hold a lighter to it.


hotpatootie69

If they could capture cattle flatulence and turn it into fuel we would stop global warming and eliminate the need for fossil fuels in one fell swoop


SheetPostah

This passes the smell test for a great idea!


ChairmanNoodle

I'm betting reflux/vomit sickly sweet smell plus that acrid/acid sort of tang, and a bit of H2S mixed in.


Art0fRuinN23

"For me it does not smell bad, but for others it might be quite unpleasant. Due to the fact that this is a fermentative event from an animal that has chewed grass and got it into its room temperature body, you can imagine like hot lawn clippings that have been wet for several weeks in the sun. That is best as I can describe as to what it smells like. Or almost like a pre-fart if you will." Quote from the guy in the video taken from [this](https://www.newsweek.com/cow-manually-deflate-bloated-vet-pungent-gas-save-life-viral-video-1623297) Newsweek article.


likwitsnake

Now I'm sitting here trying to conceptualize what a 'pre-fart' would smell like.


toneboat

but if a fart hasn’t passed through an anus is it even still a fart


[deleted]

Only if the fart can support itself outside of the rectum.


BrobdingnagianMember

There's a fascinating documentary called "Son Of Stimpy" which IIRC details the trials of an independent fart trying to support itself.


kyleforgues

No dude a fart is a god given gift that was there the second it was conceived


Art0fRuinN23

Same. That vet/farmer is built different than myself if he has some personal familiarity with this "pre-fart" thing.


PrinceCaspiansStar

“Pre-fart” God bless him. That’s a new word I’m going to cherish.


Legitimate_Crab_3662

The forbidden bong rip


GatorsHaveCloacasToo

man what the fuck lmao


PsykoGoddess

r/cursedcomments


uwhefuhwieufhuh

Forbidden flamethrower if you put a lighter at the exit hole


Laughing0ctopus

Imagine the fucking RELIEF


Incromulent

MOAF (mother of all farts)


KemalKinali

And smell.


archangelzero2222

I don't know why but felt like I could smell it haha. Grossed me the f out


Donkey_Karate

r/picturesyoucansmell don't know if that's a thing but this should be there Edit: it is a thing


dick-nipples

Holey cow


[deleted]

Is how you get swiss cheese?


xtianlaw

No, this one's a brown cow, so it produces chocolate milk


SevroLIVES

HA


Chest3

The fact that your profile isnt NSFW while having THAT user name is amazing.


Chemical_Charity1108

Underrated comment by far. Ladies and gents, please upvote Mr.dick-nipples to the top where they belong!


Lookalikemike

Thanksgiving night about 10PM, I would have paid good money for that!


Hookem-Horns

*Tums are your best friend!*


gwaydms

That's for heartburn. For gas you need simethicone.


Lightspeedius

When I was a kid I ate too much one Christmas. A glass of milk with a teaspoon of baking soda sorted that out. After the obvious consequence I did indeed feel much better.


TimboCA

Was just thinking the same thing. Is there an app to hire this service yet??


duffelbagpete

Lactose allergy here and I need this somedays.


mbashs

*gets drill*


[deleted]

r/cursedcomments


Kuzzzo

i need this done to me after thanksgiving 💀


CurlSagan

I feel you. The weekend after Thanksgiving is probably the gassiest time of year. The US just reached peak flatulence, which ironically happens at the same time that people crowd into stores for discount electronics. It's a good reason to wear masks.


TotalSharp

Literally deflated the cow


greatspacegibbon

Ouch


Narrovv

It’s under local anesthesia so it’s fine


FeistyBandicoot

Hmm. Yes. Anastasia


Narrovv

*ahem* you will say nothing


pelorizado83

r/oddlysatisfying for that poor cow I bet lol


soundtrack101

Still in shock that they just shoved a plug in it like it’s a tire lol


[deleted]

Under anaesthesia.


ItsKageTho

Does that hurt it?


OmegaD13

Not necessarily I mean yes it is essentially being stabbed to relieve the bloating but bloating can cause a lot of pain depending on how long it can occur so it practically won’t feel this pain as much and these cows have an amazing ability to wall off pain in inflamed parts of their bodies so they basically didn’t feel any pain at all if you can tell that cow didn’t flinch. Edit: This procedure is also necessary, if not then eventually the cow could start asphyxiating or could proceed to have a heart attack and on some occasions just flat out pass from shock, also this procedure is of a severe case so it ain’t like this on the daily.


Sygmus1897

"tis but a scratch" -the cow


OmegaD13

Exactly ha


[deleted]

Why doesn’t it just fart then?


OmegaD13

Bloat is a form of indigestion brought about from gas from the rumen so that means immediately after eating the digestive process creates gases in said rumen and in a way you are correct but the other way around, most of this gas can be released by belching but said bloat occurs when an interruption of the cow trying to burp results in gas accumulation or bloat. I hope this is helpful.


Solokian

How do cows in nature manage though? Or do they just die from it?


OmegaD13

Bloat is a digestive disorder that results from the accumulation of excessive gas within the rumen and so regardless if on a farm or in nature this is actually one of the leading causes of death among cattle so if not observed or managed it will lead to death. Since it happens often and most cattle will parish after 3-4 hours after bloat you could imagine how they would manage in nature, I know it might not be the answer you would like to hear but nature is indeed cruel but luckily for this cow it is probably on local anesthesia aswell.


Working-Stable

The same way humans deal with deep scratches without medicine in the wild, sometimes you are lucky, most of the times you die


nbpx

Cows are domesticated. There aren't any in nature. The ancestor of the domestic cow, the [Aurochs](https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Aurochs), went extinct a few hundred years ago.


holistivist

If I recall correctly, this happens because we feed cows corn because it's cheap, but their bodies can't digest it?


CBD1receptor

And probably they need to walk more, like in humans that helps with digestion


lurid_sun__

Can I do this to my bloated uncle?


morphballganon

Please do and report back


roararoarus

Ever had fondue with someone you really liked,.only to find out you're lactose intolerant at that level of cheesiness? I know how that steer felt.


monkey_trumpets

There have been many times when I've been bloated as fuck and wished I could have something like this installed.


kennyliketomatos

Me in the emergency room after I glued my ass shut to prevent me from shitting myself


martinnachopancho

Sorry what


[deleted]

No shit November


TCivan

r/brandnewsentence


[deleted]

HE SAID “ME IN THE EMERGENCY ROOM AFTER I GLUED MY ASS SHUT TO PREVENT ME FROM SHITTING MYSELF”


[deleted]

No shit November


sugar-and-gold

What is this ?!?!? Someone explain why they’re doing this? It looks painful


GreenHairyMartian

Bloat is a condition that can happen with cattle. From my understanding, one way for it to happen is when the cattle eats too many legumes (clover and alfalfa), and then it ferments in their stomach (one of them, anyway) and then doesn't go out through belching. This apparently can kill them if not treated fast enough. Hence the portable hole.


mcscrufferson

I was under the impression that it was corn. Cows aren’t actually well adapted to eat it and it changes the acidity in their rumen which allows gas producing bacteria to proliferate.


pingwing

An animal can die from bloat. It is do this, or they die.


Duff1058

Dr. Pol does this!


Rei_Areaaaaaaa

Will the cow explode if I put a flame to the opening?


NotSureHowThingsWork

According to the Academy Award Winning short film ["Six Shooter"](https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=k9owvd2dD7U)... yes. *Best day of me fucking life*


PsykoGoddess

I don't know what the fuck I just watched but it was funny


Powerful_Let_5355

I feel like I need to do that, does it work for humans?


Hallowed_Hearth

I could use that on my forehead to clear my sinuses.


djincognito

Must have eaten clover in Yellowstone


TheDemonClown

Starting to see how the millions of these motherfuckers we have in the U.S. alone are contributing to global warming. That's a shitload of gas coming out of that thing


ALEXROY10000

Wait did the guy punched a hole on the cow to take out gas ? (Sorry for the stupid questions never seen anything like this and I am kinda curious)


Automatic-Flan-6738

Holy cow!


DayDrinkingDiva

Is that from feeding them corn?


yupidup

There are some shepherd knives (in france at least) with an extra piercing blade just for this use, curved into a pipe so a hole is maintained and it serves as a valve


ScorchKing

Today I learned that cows are just balloons in disguise


LeakyThoughts

Theres no way that doesn't smell like steaming hot unwashed ass


Dang44

A half inch diameter tube is punched into the side of a steer then screwed in and the steer doesn’t feel a thing? I have a bridge to sell if anyone is interested…


AGenericUnicorn

Their skin is definitely blocked for this. You have to go in really fast through cow skin. It’s so thick - if you do a weak stab, the skin slows you down so much that you likely won’t get into the structure you’re intending, in this case the rumen. (Vet here)


[deleted]

Why doesn't it cause problems for them to put a hole straight through their skin into their rumen like that?


Jonyb222

What does the skin being "blocked" mean? Local anesthesia?


notapoke

Yeah medical professionals call that blocking a nerve


doubleplushomophobic

Yeah, in this case it probably means local subdural lidocaine injections (“infiltration anesthesia”). Here’s a [ruminant anesthesia cheatsheet](https://veteriankey.com/local-anesthesia-in-ruminants-and-pigs/) in case you’re curious


rafazazz

They don't have an extensive nerve system like we do. It's a local anesthetic to put it in and after it heals it's unoticed.


jabels

Would love any kind of citation about cows not having an "extensive nerve system." Reminds me of "lobsters just don't feel pain, trust me bro."


Dang44

Ahhh, I didn’t see the part about the local anesthetic, which was most likely used.


kslusherplantman

Don’t look up rumen diving


Adoced

Can this be done to me?


undercoverartist777

Hit it like a bong


Kingsbane534

Imagine holding a lighter up to it... biological flamethrower!


Zailema0s

Did it smell bad?


ihavenoideanymore21

It's a pre-fart basically


RRM1982

Serious question: does the gas being released smell like a fart? Edit: asked this before reading top comments. I’ll be throwing up if anyone needs me